Listen to this articlePisces Mania provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,
i met this pisces male who is eight years my junior and he is from another country to boot. love at first sight and despite our language difficulties we connected on a spiritual, emotional, physical and psychic level. never experienced this type of relationship before. but he confuses the heck out of me.
i could tell from his nervousness and sweaty hands that he was really into me but then he’d ignore my phone calls for several weeks only to call me out of the blue and ask why i didn’t call more? the last time there was two months in between our inneraction (because he stopped returning my calls, i refused to keep trying) but curiosity got the best of me and i called. he got in touch a week later and came over. greeted me with the most passionate kiss ever and asked again why i didn’t call more and that he was “waiting” for me. it’s like he doesn’t even realize he is the one being distant or perhaps he’s good at lying. so, it’s now been a month since we last saw one another and i left a message several weeks ago telling him i missed him and would like to spend more time together. of course, no response and i’m ready to walk away. is this typical pisces behavior? have read pisces are indecisive and live in their own world. how do i know to stick it out and fight the good fight or stop fooling myself? help! i’m hopelessly in love with this strange creature….
Stop fooling yourself. It sounds like this Pisces man wants you to be in the driver’s seat, yet he won’t even get in the car with you. You leave frequent messages, and he complains you don’t call more … plus he rarely responds. I don’t care how much you love him … he’s not living up to his part of the deal. However much his feelings for you are reciprocated, his near-total passivity — for which Pisces gets a bad rap — is a deal-breaker.
You have Venus in Taurus in your Seventh House. Stability and a feeling of being valued are necessary for you to have a satisfying relationship — neither of which this Pisces man is offering. You also have transiting Uranus — planet of awakening and sudden change — transiting your natal Jupiter in Pisces. This planet may signify your Pisces man, as Jupiter represents people from foreign lands, and it is in his sign. This transit — which ends February of next year — indicates a lack of any stability with regards to him. He may come in and out of your life with no predictable frequency. Do you want that?
You currently have the opportunity (Jupiter) to build a dream (Pisces) home or home life (Fourth House), which can help provide you a sense of security (Jupiter rules your Second House). I’d suggest you put your energies into bringing the best of Pisces into your life … not the worst.
Comment below: Share your experiences with passive Pisces men or women, or give Pisces Mania some feedback.
Fr A Crab Lady. Dated a Pisces man for 8 years & he remains the love of my life (now in Spirit World) It took awhile for him to warm up, alot of people, especially his ex-wife took advantage of his kind nature. But I didn’t give up!! I didnt push (hee hee too much). I made it known to him that I liked him, alot. I’d say don’t give up, but don’t be too Cancer needy either. HOpe this helps, any more questions, just ask!!
Dear Snapperz,
I find your story to be very charming! So you care about your Fishy? Emotional and moody, eh? That sounds right! Just don’t snap at him too much, even though he may snap at you as well!
Just maintain what you have with him, and hopefully things will continue to strengthen.
Dear Kimmy,
I am so sorry that your Fishy has died. My ex-crabby also called me the love of her life and her soul mate. We dated for 4 years, but things broke apart and she married this sophomoric capricorn idiot on the rebound. Ah well. She was just desperate to get married, but I believe she may still have feelings for me? Then again, perhaps it is a completely dead issue for her and she is truly as cold as a Siberian iceberg.
Who knows, but more importantly: Who cares?
There is a lovelier crabby out there for me.
For pisces men, Are cancerian women boring to pisces men?
I find some cancerian girls to be a bit boring, but then I have met some who are way too hyper and out of control. It’s a huge turn off. I prefer the ones who are more chill, have good morals and values but most of all… I like when they love to spend time with me = P
Hmmm, moonchild… Ok well I dunno what is going on with this dude but seriously, that is some messed up bahaviour. MY ex Cancer girl did basically the same thing to me about 5 months ago and it almost killed me. SHe has not asked for me back but says she still loves me and is not closer to anyone like she is with me, bla bla…. Well I tried begging her, pleading… She said we argued too much and she doesnt want to hurt me. I actually found out she had been lying to me about a friend she has who she slept with right before we met and they slept in the same bed together while we were together. Basically I know your paint, it sucks hard core. Especially when you have a really deep connection with the other person and apparently they do too… so they say. ALl I can say is I would not take her back even if she begged me. Im dont with this crap and I deserve so much better. I think she knows that too. SO what Im trying to say is that you deserve better than all this drama, and is he hiding something? Did he do something? Why does he act so guilty? Also if there is one thing I cant stand, its breaking up. I think it should be worked out and if someone breaks up with me, it better not be a bluff, casue thats it. YOu need to feel the same way, he broke up with you, fine, now he has to live with it. I know your feelings are strong, believe me I know… and the connection is deep. But this is rediculous. How can you live this way. I can understand if its really not working and he is done and has made up his mind. Thats his right. Or if someone or both fall out of love. Ok… but to break up with you and then want you back and then drop you again and want you back… are you a dirty shirt he can toss aside when he feels like it and then pick you up again when he wants to? I find it ver disrespectful and its not acceptable. You need to give him an altimatum. Its either he loves you and wants you and wants to work on things or he doesnt. And tell him, if he breaks up with you, he better damn well mean it cause thats it if he does. You tried, you wanted to work on things, you have been honest loved him. WHo knows what he is doing behind your back, this bahaviour is very suspiocious. Sorry for my spelling I am typing so fast LOL. Hope this helped a little.
Dear Melissa,
“For pisces men, Are cancerian women boring to pisces men?”
Depends on the type of person you are dealing with. If you are dealing with a Pisces guy who is a bit older, wiser and more capable of handling himself, then you will be just fine with him. It is the younger and more wild Pisces boys that may seem incapable of settling down with you. However, find yourself one who is a little older and more seasoned from life, and I am fairly certain that he will have no problem committing himself to you. I know that is certainly my case.
Vancouver,
“She has not asked for me back but says she still loves me and is not closer to anyone like she is with me, bla bla….”
I have a sinking feeling that we are brothers from the same issue. My ex-crab still had some feelings for me before she leaped into her rebound marriage, as I have almost a sixth sense for this type of thing. She may never admit it, but it was written all over her face in the engagement photos. That, coupled with the fact that she admitted that he was a “mistake” before we reunited about a year ago.
“Well I tried begging her, pleading… She said we argued too much and she doesnt want to hurt me.”
If she thinks that she is going to get out there and find someone else who doesn’t argue with her, then she is nuts. Mine did the same thing to me. Made me feel bad because we had the occasional squabble over something, but the key thing to remember is that EVERYONE SQUABBLES! Squabbling is a perfectly normal part of being committed to someone. It happens all the time, and the less experienced people in relationships FAIL to understand that squabbling is perfectly okay.
“I actually found out she had been lying to me about a friend she has who she slept with right before we met and they slept in the same bed together while we were together.”
Is she a Decan II crab? They tend to be the sneakier crabs with sex and stuff related to it. Just curious.
“ALl I can say is I would not take her back even if she begged me. Im dont with this crap and I deserve so much better. I think she knows that too.”
Good for you! Stand up, and have some respect for yourself! I like that! Critical thing you need to remember is to not have a knee-jerk reaction, and write off all crab women. There are some really wonderful crab women out there who are not jerks, so remember that.
“Also if there is one thing I cant stand, its breaking up.”
I agree, and can offer you this advice as well: DO NOT RUSH INTO A REBOUND RELATIONSHIP. That is the worst thing a person can do while recovering from a broken heart.
Thanks Mr. FIsh,
I appreciate that. I have heard from many people, including this girl in question and they all agree… It is not normal behaviour, its messed up, and I deserve better. I guess I feel like I gave her everything I had. Loved her intensely, and committed totally so all in all its her loss and I know she will regret it. But the lying to me about that guy, and sleeping in the same bed… yeah I have lost all respect for her and would never have her back. But I agree, there are some good Cancer women out there, I just have to find a good one and stay away from the messed up ones who have sexual promiscuity issues, not a turn on at all.
Im sorry you went through that too, it really sucks I know. But as I said, its their loss.
Well I’m a cancerian woman and i Love all you pisces men. Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ALL YOU PISCES OUT THERE!
dane cook a pisces and julianne hough a cancer are they really dating?
Piscesguy,
Always glad to hear from you, and keep your chin up. I know I am keeping mine up, as I read more and more interesting developments over my psychopath ex-girlfriend.
Crabby Girl,
I am not certain as to why I should have any regrets given the latest developments in this rather bizarre chapter of my life.
As stated, one of the primary reasons I never asked her to marry me is because I was not willing to throw my religious identity into the trash. She pulled a “bait and switch” on me when we first started dating. She actually told me that a girl should consider the guy’s religion when they plan on getting married. Without ever attending any of the Catholic classes that my church had to offer, she then turned the tables on me by trying to get me to go to her Protestant church. Initially, I felt strange about this sudden change of behavior. It was also hard for me to get along with her in 2007 since I drove to her home on 2 separate holiday occasions to be with her. I drove into town for her birthday, and took her home to her parents for Thanksgiving. She gave me no holiday time with my own family that same year, and was rude and disrespectful to my family when my grandpa died that December.
2008 was topsy-turvy, as my friend was suffering from alcoholism and other emotional problems, so I was trying to help him get through his situation. If he had killed himself, I would have never forgiven myself for standing idly by as it happened. She got jealous of my attempts to spend time with my friend, and secretly started dating that controlling/manipulative VULTURE that she married.
Damn right, this capricorn is a VULTURE. A scavenger of human misery who preyed upon her emotional vulnerability like only a buzzard can. The worthless bastard is a pathological liar, controller, manipulator and tyrant who has scared her mother nearly to death with his behavior.
No, I am not making this up. He literally took advantage of her mental-emotional instability and has a psychological control over her that is comparable to Stalin’s over the Russian people. He has isolated her some 1200 miles away from her friends and family, and they live in one of the most dangerous cities in the USA.
I will grant you that it’s difficult to stop loving a human being, but what pisses me off is that she was so damn obstinate with me, yet a total pushover with this damn tyrant.
How can a person be happy in a marriage if they must destroy their families in the process?
A family, mind you, that is worried about her falling prey to a dangerous man.
If anything, she should have postponed her knee-jerk reaction marriage and thought things through as her mother asked her to.
Instead, she lashed out at everyone in her entire family and practically ran down the aisle with a pair of cross-country shoes on.
Can anyone here tell me how this type of person would have been psychologically healthy for me to get married to?
My apologies if that last post was a little passionate, but it was not aimed at anyone in particular.
I am just venting my frustrations with a clearly destructive situation.
My friends tell me to let things go and get on with my life, and I am trying so hard to follow this great advice.
I have a story that i hope to gain some feedback from. I am a cancer girl who spent 6 years with a pisces man who i continued to nurse through one serious issue after the other. I broke it off for mental and physical health reasons, but was broken hearted because I did love him. A year later I run into a new pisces man who falls in love with me quicker than I believed possible. It was like floating on clouds for 2 months until his 7 year ex found out about me and came to swoop him up. Our time together was short, but magical, passionate, spiritual and amazing with every moment, even if we were just laying around. He told me that he loved me and asked me to be in a relationship with him. I felt very strongly about him and cared deeply for him, but I was scared that “I love you” would be too early, even though he said it first. I did however let him know that I’d be his “girl” and had his back. Things got so complicated so fast when his ex took him away. 3 months later he wanted me in his life and let me know that he had so many thoughts about me all of the time and how he missed me. But I was so irreversibly hurt and had no validity to trust in him. I would answer his calls and texts occasionally, but often made him wait because I was so jaded. He kept telling me he would visit as this had become a long-distance connection, but he never did and once his career took off he stopped trying to contact me, as so did I. I feel it’s a lost cause, but I still feel him, his thoughts, and his soul so deeply within my own.
Hello Crabby,
I have a story that i hope to gain some feedback from. I am a cancer girl who spent 6 years with a pisces man who i continued to nurse through one serious issue after the other. I broke it off for mental and physical health reasons, but was broken hearted because I did love him.
Do you still talk to him?
A year later I run into a new pisces man who falls in love with me quicker than I believed possible. It was like floating on clouds for 2 months until his 7 year ex found out about me and came to swoop him up. Our time together was short, but magical, passionate, spiritual and amazing with every moment, even if we were just laying around. He told me that he loved me and asked me to be in a relationship with him. I felt very strongly about him and cared deeply for him, but I was scared that “I love you” would be too early, even though he said it first.
It’s okay that you didn’t say you loved him back because you are right. It was too soon. Way too soon, and only because people shouldn’t say such things unless they really know each other. Know what I mean? You have to be careful with your emotions.
I did however let him know that I’d be his “girl” and had his back. Things got so complicated so fast when his ex took him away. 3 months later he wanted me in his life and let me know that he had so many thoughts about me all of the time and how he missed me. But I was so irreversibly hurt and had no validity to trust in him. I would answer his calls and texts occasionally, but often made him wait because I was so jaded. He kept telling me he would visit as this had become a long-distance connection, but he never did and once his career took off he stopped trying to contact me, as so did I. I feel it’s a lost cause, but I still feel him, his thoughts, and his soul so deeply within my own.
The connection felt between a Cancer and a Pisces is often so strong that it’s difficult to put into words. Crabs tend to understand fish better than any other sign in the zodiac, which compels me to believe that we can communicate to each other without even saying anything.
Tell me, did he do really nice things for you like rub your back and feet? Did he buy you nice gifts and things like that? What was it that he did that really made you feel wonderful? It was the spiritual connection, right?
Mr. Fish,
Thank you so much for replying!
I stopped talking to him, but he added me on facebook haha. I haven’t talked to him and he hasn’t tried sending anything and I’m not even waiting for that nor am I trying. I’ve lost interest unless the day comes. It’s really as if the cons overweighed the pros. That connection that you are talking about is unexplainable, but very real and I have felt it with both of the pisces men. It’s not exactly something you can do on command- it just happens and you feel it in your chest or stomach, kinda like a gut feeling only you might know exactly what the other person is feeling or going through, even if they are thousands of miles away. If one were to try thinking of or spiritually communicating to this person, perhaps it would get to them, but unless they are very spiritual and depending on what “toxins” and “antidotes” their walls let in. And if they do receive the message or thoughts there is no telling when it will hit them if ever in this lifetime.
He always treated me with care; he gave me massages and held me close, but more often it was the time we spent just looking at each others’ eyes and spilling our feelings for one another. We went to many places and he paid for everything always and he drove us places and so on. He took me out on plenty of dates and even wanted me to meet his friends and i recall him saying that he wanted the guys to meet his lady (me)…so I hung out with the guys, but it was still me and him having a good time together. Overall, it was the time spent alone that seemed so surreal and united. I did feel unconditionally loved by him. Something that I will never be able to explain is how he was able to walk away from something that had just started-something that was so unbelievably amazing for both of us. And when he came “crawling” back he wasn’t trying hard enough. He had the chance to visit me and he didn’t, so I have left it up to destiny.
Thank you for your questions and thoughts and for your affirmations (:
Dear Crabby,
Sounds like you have a lot on your mind!
Okay, let’s go over a few things.
Thank you so much for replying!
My pleasure!
I stopped talking to him, but he added me on facebook haha. I haven’t talked to him and he hasn’t tried sending anything and I’m not even waiting for that nor am I trying. I’ve lost interest unless the day comes. It’s really as if the cons overweighed the pros.
Okay, so at least he is on your Facebook list, which means that he is not out of your life forever. That’s good. While you should try to get on with your life and date someone else, hopefully he will get his act together and contact you with a genuine effort before it’s too late. Please keep your emotions guarded though, because it seems as if you are heartbroken or upset about how this entire part of your life ended so abruptly. He most likely felt the same sensation that you feel, and I can assure you that he does not feel the same toward other women as he felt with you. This is especially true if he is spending his time with non-Cancer women.
That connection that you are talking about is unexplainable, but very real and I have felt it with both of the pisces men. It’s not exactly something you can do on command- it just happens and you feel it in your chest or stomach, kinda like a gut feeling only you might know exactly what the other person is feeling or going through, even if they are thousands of miles away. If one were to try thinking of or spiritually communicating to this person, perhaps it would get to them, but unless they are very spiritual and depending on what “toxins” and “antidotes” their walls let in. And if they do receive the message or thoughts there is no telling when it will hit them if ever in this lifetime.
I believe in spiritual communication as well. I could feel things about my ex-Cancer when she was upset about something, or something was going on. I do believe in our little quasi-telepathy abilities, and it’s definitely not something superstitious. It is REAL, and I am certain that you, he, my ex, and I can all share the same belief that dating other signs does not yield anything like the bond we share as Cancer-Pisces couples.
He always treated me with care; he gave me massages and held me close, but more often it was the time we spent just looking at each others’ eyes and spilling our feelings for one another. We went to many places and he paid for everything always and he drove us places and so on. He took me out on plenty of dates and even wanted me to meet his friends and i recall him saying that he wanted the guys to meet his lady (me)…so I hung out with the guys, but it was still me and him having a good time together. Overall, it was the time spent alone that seemed so surreal and united. I did feel unconditionally loved by him.
This may sound strange to you, but many people believe that Jesus is represented by the zodiac sign of the fish for a reason. Fish tend to be the more forgiving, doting and loving of the signs. While we are not perfect like Jesus was, we are very affectionate and compassionate souls. I know that I am, anyway. When you speak of unconditional love, it sparked a recollection of Jesus’ unconditional love for humanity. I am glad that your Pisces felt the same way for you, because I was always the same with my ex. Yes, we squabbled and had our spats, but I never let that stuff overshadow my love for her.
Something that I will never be able to explain is how he was able to walk away from something that had just started-something that was so unbelievably amazing for both of us. And when he came “crawling” back he wasn’t trying hard enough. He had the chance to visit me and he didn’t, so I have left it up to destiny.
Maybe he half-heartedly pursued you because he didn’t realize how special things are. Sometimes people take others for granted, but do not realize how special something is until it is gone. I know the agony that I suffer from is not solitary, but I sense that my ex goes through the same heartache as well. Perhaps not currently, and perhaps not all the time, but she feels the pain every now and again. This is especially true since she married a sleazy snake on the rebound.
Thank you for your questions and thoughts and for your affirmations (:
You’re quite welcome.
New questions.
1.) What is he doing for work? Does he have a career going?
2.) How far away is he from your home?
3.) Are you close to your mother, and has he met her? If so, does he have a respectful attitude with her?
@ Mr. Fish
you seem to be such a sweet and caring Pisces..I’m a cancer woman and i’ve had only one ‘lengthier’ ‘thing’ with a Pisces man but he was so different from what you seem to be like and what you’re describing…
to begin with my question, is there a set of various typologies of Pisces men or you guys get ‘bad’ on (crabby) women when you feel hurt, or uncertain, or you want to play games?
I’m a Decan I Cancer and he’s a Decan II Pisces, just for the record.
I don’t mean to be a nag, but my Pisces had both a great side and a darker one…the pros would be that he’s intelligent, has a preppy yet fizzy sense of humor and we definitely had that connection you were talking about to another Crabby girl…so i take it he is sensitive in his own way, and open, and we had an amazing physical connection as well. Thumbs up for him. The gray zone now…he didn’t seem to be the dreamer type to me, on the contrary. His chart is mostly made of water and one or two air placements, so no earth or fire to dramatically alter his Piscesness. The thing is, he is very career-driven, extremely hard working, and drowned in his social life…to him that’s the most important thing in the world; maybe it works as an extension of his professional life so he’s remained with this ‘deformation’, but it made me so sad and disappointed me in so many ways…
His worst traits…he lied. No big caliber kind of stuff, but still, it’s the small pinches that sadden a Cancer because they silently erode the relationship and ring the alarm. Then he would be incredibly self-absorbed, talked a lot about himself, draw the conversation towards what his interests were and tried to manipulate me again, on petty stuff, but i was quite negatively ‘impressed’…then he would be extremely secretive yet open about himself. In the beginning he would chase me like crazy (i didn’t like him at first and didn’t wanna date him), do anything to please me, and then….after several months, it got silent. He just backed off, we had an argument in which i told him i didn’t care about him and we were just sleeping together and he said he’s hurt…
the thing is. if his behavior didn’t show any improvement, we were just having a prolongued fling and he showed no intention in ‘officializing’ our relationship (be together in front of everyone, not getting married lol), how could i know what he wanted? he never said anything so i took it for what it seemed to be…he just threw in a little bait, then back off and wait for me to do the next step. i hated this after so many months of being together…so i decided to tell him the truth about what i felt like (the ‘bad’ parts only, i didn’t say anything about my feelings for him) and he got upset. Stopped contacting me for about 1 ½ months, then popped out of nowhere and i rejected him. He got mad and insulted me, i insulted back, then we ‘made up’ (i txtd, he called, we met up and slept together) but things weren’t the same as in the beginning and i could feel it. He told me he wasn’t ‘coming back’ and just stood there, cold, doing small talk, and i felt soooo weird…
So i don’t know…is my Pisces a weird Pisces? what should i do? i have forgotten about him, i no longer have feelings, the thing is i need closure.
@ Mr. Fish
about your Crabby ex-girlfriend- i’m so sorry to hear about the situation. Been going through these threads and read about the Cancer girlfriend and her Capricorn husband..yaykes. I understand what you feel like but i totally get the drift with her attitude. As a Cancer woman i’m sometimes stuck on something i want, and i won’t rest until i get it…maybe she felt that at that certain stage of her life she needed security and stability, therefore she chose to marry a Cap. Caps are notorious for being the ‘fathers’ in the zodiac, i’ve had a Capricorn boyfriend and that’s how i sometimes felt around him. Anyways, i also understand your anger towards him because i know other Caps who can get too selfish and cold…and he also took the woman you loved away from you.
If you still love her, you should go back and get her. Coming between two married people is never the good thing to do but at least talk to her…i guess you also need some closure of a kind. Maybe she still loves you but she’s afraid to lose something stable for nothing certain. This is just my opinion as a Crabby woman…i also like all or nothing and if i still harbor some feelings for an ex (which i understood she does, from your previous comments), i want to straighten things up once and for all…if you can get in touch with her do it, and tell her you want to talk, just to test the waters. If she doesn’t respond/reply (in case you e-mail her) you write her about what you feel like…it always works because Cancers value honesty and they do need closure. Hope it helps.
Jolie,
It sounds like you have the closure you need no? I mean it basically seams to me like it’s done so maybe just cut off all communication. It sounds like he was not a good match for you nor you for him thats all. Sometimes compatibility is a huge factor. I do have to say though, if you told him you didn’t care about him and you were just sleeping together… well that pretty much ended it forever right there. I mean if he liked you and you said that then it must have hurt really badly and there was no way for him to recover. Also I think its possible that he may have lost all respect for you just because, although Pisces guys are flirtatious and sexual and are attracted to girls who are very sensual as well, secretly… or not so secretly in my case LOL… we have no respect or long term desires for a woman who sleeps with a guy but isn’t in a committed relationship. But in all honesty, if thats how you really felt then good for you for being honest. I just think that was not what he wanted and the shock of learning you might not have been what he thought might have caused him to back away, withdrawl. But as I said before… sounds like you are not a good match to begin with. I used to be mesmerized and so into Cancer girls… now that I have had an experience with dating one I have decided that for me anyways, they are better off as friends, or sex buddies but not relationships. For me personally I mean. I just find that there is a lot of secrets, lying, self centered behavior, lack of sexual morals and values, promiscuity, and hurtful, emotional dysfunctional mind games. I think your old Pisces guy may be like me… and this is our own fault of coarse… we see a woman we like and begin to adore her, just think she is the most amazing girl on the planet… and when we find out she isnt, its severely disheartening and very hard to swallow. It’s like the biggest disapointment ever. Just chalk it up to not being a good match, you looking for sex and him looking for a relationship, and he may have thought you were something you werent and then started acting funny. I have been there and this is just what I think, but who am I? I could definitely be wrong. Just move on with your life and don’t contact eachother. It sounds like a very toxic relationship for both of you.
Dear Jolie,
you seem to be such a sweet and caring Pisces..
Thank you, Jolie. If I have learned anything from my break-up, it is to try to be a better person.
I’m a cancer woman and i’ve had only one ‘lengthier’ ‘thing’ with a Pisces man but he was so different from what you seem to be like and what you’re describing… to begin with my question, is there a set of various typologies of Pisces men or you guys get ‘bad’ on (crabby) women when you feel hurt, or uncertain, or you want to play games?
I believe this depends largely on his age and past experience with relationships. There is an old saying, “No one respects the flame more than he who has been burned by it.” With time, age brings wisdom and understanding. Maturity and patience usually stem from past relationships, especially if the break-up was painful or terrible.
Pisces men like to be playful and flirtatious at times, but the strange mind games usually desist in their intensity as the guy gets older. I know that’s my case, anyway.
I’m a Decan I Cancer and he’s a Decan II Pisces, just for the record.
I don’t mean to be a nag, but my Pisces had both a great side and a darker one…the pros would be that he’s intelligent, has a preppy yet fizzy sense of humor and we definitely had that connection you were talking about to another Crabby girl…so i take it he is sensitive in his own way, and open, and we had an amazing physical connection as well. Thumbs up for him.
Sounds good so far. Did you feel that sense of telepathy with him, and him alone? Or have you felt such a close spiritual connection before with another person as well?
The gray zone now…he didn’t seem to be the dreamer type to me, on the contrary. His chart is mostly made of water and one or two air placements, so no earth or fire to dramatically alter his Piscesness. The thing is, he is very career-driven, extremely hard working, and drowned in his social life…to him that’s the most important thing in the world; maybe it works as an extension of his professional life so he’s remained with this ‘deformation’, but it made me so sad and disappointed me in so many ways…
Yes, I knew a Decan II Pisces as well, and they are very driven. Think of Alexander Graham Bell, another Decan II Pisces. The guy was a real genius who invented many great things, but he was very serious about his work. I know what you mean about his importance placed on friends. The one I know is the same regarding his strange, and sometimes VERY UNFORGIVING behavior.
His worst traits…he lied. No big caliber kind of stuff, but still, it’s the small pinches that sadden a Cancer because they silently erode the relationship and ring the alarm. Then he would be incredibly self-absorbed, talked a lot about himself, draw the conversation towards what his interests were and tried to manipulate me again, on petty stuff, but i was quite negatively ‘impressed’…then he would be extremely secretive yet open about himself. In the beginning he would chase me like crazy (i didn’t like him at first and didn’t wanna date him), do anything to please me, and then….after several months, it got silent. He just backed off, we had an argument in which i told him i didn’t care about him and we were just sleeping together and he said he’s hurt…
Hmmm. I don’t like the fact that he lied to you, but that is an unfortunate problem with some of the Pisces folks. They tend to lie and/or distort things sometimes, which is really bad. His drive toward narcissism is also bad. Perhaps he was like that inherently?
the thing is. if his behavior didn’t show any improvement, we were just having a prolongued fling and he showed no intention in ‘officializing’ our relationship (be together in front of everyone, not getting married lol), how could i know what he wanted? he never said anything so i took it for what it seemed to be…he just threw in a little bait, then back off and wait for me to do the next step. i hated this after so many months of being together…so i decided to tell him the truth about what i felt like (the ‘bad’ parts only, i didn’t say anything about my feelings for him) and he got upset.
I know that Cancers often have strong feelings for people, but what drives me crazy is how those feelings are often pent up inside and seldom verbally communicated. Not your fault, but it does make me crazy sometimes. Let me ask you this: How long were you two together as a couple before the 1.5 month time out?
Stopped contacting me for about 1 ½ months, then popped out of nowhere and i rejected him. He got mad and insulted me, i insulted back, then we ‘made up’ (i txtd, he called, we met up and slept together) but things weren’t the same as in the beginning and i could feel it. He told me he wasn’t ‘coming back’ and just stood there, cold, doing small talk, and i felt soooo weird…
The Decan II Pisces is a very cold and methodical one when they are angry. I have dealt with one after a terrible misunderstanding, and he was something short of ruthless over it. Perhaps it is best that you lay low for a while. I know you may feel the need to spend time with him or at least talk with him, but his behavior seems to have hurt you more than help you.
So i don’t know…is my Pisces a weird Pisces? what should i do? i have forgotten about him, i no longer have feelings, the thing is i need closure.
Oh, I know all about your need for closure. My ex refused to talk to me on the phone or write back or thank me for the flowers and poetry. I never got any closure from my ex, which is why I felt compelled to visit with her mother and father to wish them well with everything. I also went to their home them because I am going away for a while on a military deployment, and did not want there to be any hurt or problems between us.
about your Crabby ex-girlfriend- i’m so sorry to hear about the situation. Been going through these threads and read about the Cancer girlfriend and her Capricorn husband..yaykes.
Well, in hindsight, I believe that she suffers from Histrionic Personality Disorder and/or worse. The reason I say this is because she has almost a parasitic need to be attached to a husband type figure to the point where she is totally incapable of standing on her own two feet. “Emotional Independence” were not her watchwords during our unfortunate end, but “Reckless Dependence” were. The primary reason I say this is because she got married on the rebound to a perfect stranger she met on the computer and barely knew the guy for a full year prior. She wasn’t allowed to meet his parents until the day before the wedding, and the guy is a total slime. Her brother and mother both tried to at least get her to postpone the wedding to get to know him better, but she angrily lashed out at them in the process.
I don’t hold anything against her, but there were times where I observed some narcissistic tendencies that were just too much for me to take. For example, whenever we would squabble, she would never really meet me half-way. It was more of a “do it her way, or be punished” type situation, and no one wants to marry a person who behaves like that. Whenever we would fight, I would try to end things with an apology and push for a concerted effort to get things right, but she would actually hang onto her anger. She would also refuse to apologize, and even threw in insults. “I am sorry that you feel that way,” or “I am sorry that you don’t understand” were among the more popular phrases she sent my way when we would squabble, which really aren’t apologies, but more of pointed and condescending statements.
Also, I understand what you feel like but i totally get the drift with her attitude. As a Cancer woman i’m sometimes stuck on something i want, and i won’t rest until i get it…maybe she felt that at that certain stage of her life she needed security and stability, therefore she chose to marry a Cap.
Agreed, but the loser is nothing short of a tyrant and scavenger of human misery. Her mother has communicated to me that he is nothing more than a manipulator and controller type, which is no more than an inch away from a total psychopath. Controller/manipulators tend to be psychologically and emotionally abusive people, and are also known to use physical violence from time to time if they don’t get their way. He probably doesn’t allow her to eat whatever she wants in a restaurant as I always did, and he probably forces her to do things against her will (like permanently move 1200 miles away into social isolation from her friends and family into a really dangerous city). He may even make her feel totally worthless if she doesn’t do as he says. Who is happy in such a marriage? I know she is not, even if she lies or puts up a facade, I would see right through it. Her eyes were vacant and totally despaired in her engagement photo, and I recognized it almost instantly.
Caps are notorious for being the ‘fathers’ in the zodiac, i’ve had a Capricorn boyfriend and that’s how i sometimes felt around him.
If she wanted a “Kim Jong Il” type who denies her the freedom, fun and flexibility that I always provided to her, then such oppression is hers to feast upon. She can enjoy the tyranny, because I was never, EVER like that with her.
Anyways, i also understand your anger towards him because i know other Caps who can get too selfish and cold…and he also took the woman you loved away from you.
Yes, he did anger me, but that’s okay. His sleazy, shallow and controlling ways will eventually yield some very ugly karma for the both of them, and it’s most certainly not my problem. I tried to win her back through several phone calls, emails, flowers and even poetry, and she said NOTHING to me. She ran to Kim Jong Il, and the rest is history. Oh well. There are more intelligent and capable women out there anyway.
If you still love her, you should go back and get her. Coming between two married people is never the good thing to do but at least talk to her…
I really don’t believe I love her anymore. Her actions were pretty disturbing to everyone, and I really don’t think that she is worth pursuing. If she was an adult about all of this, then my feelings about the fallout might be different. But she is not an adult. She is an egocentric child who insists on ramming her way through regardless of the emotional destruction that she causes.
i guess you also need some closure of a kind.
That’s why I apologized to her parents and thanked them for their hospitality over the past several years. If she was going to be too much of a coward to end this like an adult, I figured I might get some type of closure from the adults in her family. It worked, to a degree.
Maybe she still loves you
I sincerely doubt that. If she had an iota of concern about me, then she would have contacted my family or me regarding this situation.
but she’s afraid to lose something stable for nothing certain.
That may be, but what she should have done at the end of a four year relationship was take some time off. Time off would have given us the chance to grow up some more and resolve our petty differences. At a minimum, she should have grabbed a female roommate, and got an apartment in her hometown and lived like Laverne and Shirley for a little while to psychologically heal from the end of our relationship. Instead, she saw a bright and shiny object offered by this creep, and she ran to it much like a mouse runs for the cheese in a mousetrap.
There was no need to marry a perfect stranger This is just my opinion as a Crabby woman…
Agreed wholeheartedly. She lashed out at her whole family when they were simply asking her to patiently figure all of her problems out before taking the plunge, and she wouldn’t listen to them. She was practically wearing a pair of cross-country shoes in her dash for the altar as far as I am concerned.
i also like all or nothing and if i still harbor some feelings for an ex (which i understood she does, from your previous comments), i want to straighten things up once and for all…if you can get in touch with her do it, and tell her you want to talk, just to test the waters. If she doesn’t respond/reply (in case you e-mail her) you write her about what you feel like…it always works because Cancers value honesty and they do need closure. Hope it helps.
Trust me, I tried. I called her several times last year during our time off, and she refused to talk. She refused to write, and she refused to say thank you for the flowers. She was too ardent in her madness to stop and think.
It’s probably best that I continue to heal, and keep my emotions under control since she will most likely hurt me again.
I know her mother most likely wishes that she and I had gotten married, but that cannot change the fact that she just went crazy and married the first buzzard that swooped down onto our disabled relationship.
@ Pisces_Guy_Vancouver
thanks for your reply…yep you’re right, we were totally incompatible. he didn’t give me what i wanted and i gave him, for a while, but then cut the string. that’s when things got pretty messy between us.
I don’t care about him and never cared. It wasn’t something i could control, you know, my feelings. I wasn’t a bitch to him or anything, it’s just that i didn’t love him and i was getting irritated on the spot every time he’d do something wrong. I was also extremely infatuated with him and for about two or three weeks i thought i actually loved him.
I’m a very talkative person and sometimes i speak before i think….big mistake. I have also learned (the HARD way) that being completely honest with someone about my thoughts on him or her, if that person is a lover or a friend, is NEVER good. Not because i’m untactful, but because when it comes to feelings and everything, one must spray it, not say it…
aaaanyways. i’m sorry about your past experiences with cancer women and i understand you. I’ve had a Cancer friend in highschool who was like a sister to me…i dated her brother for a few months (kids’ stuff, lol) and then when we broke up, man o’ man. A total bitch for no reason whatsoever (the brother was the one who ended the ‘relationship’, so there was no way she could’ve harbored hard feelings for that). the thing is, if you carefully think about it, the traits you described can be attributed to every woman on this planet at a given point…my theory, as a Cancer woman, is that yes, we do tend to take things to extreme and sometimes do crazy stuff (such as manipulation or other psychotic shiz), get territorial, jealous and everything only because we’re afraid of losing the person we care about. Hell has no fury like a woman scorned- someone said the woman in case ought to be a Scorpio. well then they haven’t met a Cancer woman. You have been hurt by a Cancer girl, well we’re not all the same so it would be a pity to prevent some good Crabby girl from getting a nice Pisces man 🙂
However bear in mind that sometimes, you Pisces do things (consciously or un-) that simply make us go mental…your little mind games, your sarcasm, your secretiveness and wandering eyes…a man is a man, i get it, but sometimes your attitude can appear as massively disrespectful…and there’s your ‘GO CRAZY’ button for the Crabby lady..so ofc i can’t judge you, but usually scorned cancers have good reasons to back it up…
@ Mr. Fish
thanks so much for your reply.
Did you feel that sense of telepathy with him, and him alone?’- yes and yes…it was really THERE. I always thought women who talked about this sort of thing were old ladies who talked to their cats…it was almost like a material sensation. we were talking and at one point, just by looking at him, i could see in his eyes he was only moving his mouth and making sounds because we were ‘communicating’ through a glance…it was awesome. what i think Cancer women most crave for in a connection, of any kind, is intimacy…that’s where the ‘cancer women are homemakers’ comes from…not from our assumed love for pots and pans but from the enormous need for intimacy. If i don’t feel connected to something or someone in a familiar way then it will be only an obligation to take care of that situation or a matter of time until i leave the person. I’ve always needed it and with him, it was the first time i got it instantly.
before the 1.5 month hiatus we were ‘together’ for 5 months…not too long, but it was just the two of us which i liked…and we weren’t officially together, we were mostly sleeping together (again, the connection+intimacy=awesome physical…motion 🙂 ), a little hanging out, nothing extremely serious. I sometimes felt he wanted us to get serious but he didn’t say anything. what the hell was i supposed to say?? that’s why i backed off and told him all that stuff…i needed to take the load off my chest.
‘I know that Cancers often have strong feelings for people, but what drives me crazy is how those feelings are often pent up inside and seldom verbally communicated’- this is true ONLY if you haven’t sent any signal that she should open up and communicate her feelings, otherwise there is no love. It’s impossible for a Cancer not to manifest her attachment. I am very cuddly, ‘sticky’, i like babies, puppies, kissing people, hugging them, sweet stuff like that. i have another Cancer friend who’s the same, she’s sensitive, cries whenever she feels hurt, loves her boyfriend and would do anything for him…so maybe the Cancer woman who came off as cold and silent about his feelings was stopped by something you did…otherwise i can’t explain it.
with my Pisces, for example, it was the ‘why me first’ thing, and not out of ego but of fear of being rejected. i didn’t want him to know, basically, because if he didn’t reciprocate or worse, if he didn’t say anything at all i would have gone through the thing over and over in my head until i would have exhausted myself…i’ve done this before. so i just wanted to protect myself.
ugh i’m sorry about your ex not wanting to get in touch with you. if she isn’t ready to face you or your messages then she isn’t over you and consequently wants to burn all the bridges.
i’m not going to contact my Pisces, i don’t care. if he doesn’t care, then i don’t either, right? i mean i REALLY don’t, it’s a half closure, half self-esteem thing…but whatever, we’re still friends and i’m totally ok with it. i hope he finds someone to truly love and who can really understand him.
“….about your Crabby ex-girlfriend- i’m so sorry to hear about the situation. Been going through these threads and read about the Cancer girlfriend and her Capricorn husband..yaykes.”
Well, in hindsight, I believe that she suffers from Histrionic Personality Disorder and/or worse. The reason I say this is because she has almost a parasitic need to be attached to a husband type figure to the point where she is totally incapable of standing on her own two feet. “Emotional Independence” were not her watchwords during our unfortunate end, but “Reckless Dependence” were. The primary reason I say this is because she got married on the rebound to a perfect stranger she met on the computer and barely knew the guy for a full year prior. She wasn’t allowed to meet his parents until the day before the wedding, and the guy is a total slime. Her brother and mother both tried to at least get her to postpone the wedding to get to know him better, but she angrily lashed out at them in the process.
I don’t hold anything against her, but there were times where I observed some narcissistic tendencies that were just too much for me to take. For example, whenever we would squabble, she would never really meet me half-way. It was more of a “do it her way, or be punished” type situation, and no one wants to marry a person who behaves like that. Whenever we would fight, I would try to end things with an apology and push for a concerted effort to get things right, but she would actually hang onto her anger. She would also refuse to apologize, and even threw in insults. “I am sorry that you feel that way,” or “I am sorry that you don’t understand” were among the more popular phrases she sent my way when we would squabble, which really aren’t apologies, but more of pointed and condescending statements.
“Also, I understand what you feel like but i totally get the drift with her attitude. As a Cancer woman i’m sometimes stuck on something i want, and i won’t rest until i get it…maybe she felt that at that certain stage of her life she needed security and stability, therefore she chose to marry a Cap.”
Agreed, but the loser is nothing short of a authoritarian tyrant and scavenger of human misery. Her mother has communicated to me that he is nothing more than a manipulator and controller type, which is no more than an inch away from a total psychopath. Controller/manipulators tend to be psychologically and emotionally abusive people, and are also known to use physical violence from time to time if they don’t get their way. He probably doesn’t allow her to eat whatever she wants in a restaurant as I always did, and he probably forces her to do things against her will (like permanently move 1200 miles away into social isolation from her friends and family into a really dangerous city). He may even make her feel totally worthless if she doesn’t do as he says. Who is happy in such a marriage? I know she is not, even if she lies or puts up a facade, I would see right through it. Her eyes were vacant and totally despaired in her engagement photo, and I recognized it almost instantly.
“Caps are notorious for being the ‘fathers’ in the zodiac, i’ve had a Capricorn boyfriend and that’s how i sometimes felt around him.”
If she wanted a “Kim Jong Il” type who denies her the freedom, fun and flexibility that I always provided to her, then such oppression is hers to feast upon. She can enjoy the tyranny, because I was never, EVER like that with her.
“Anyways, i also understand your anger towards him because i know other Caps who can get too selfish and cold…and he also took the woman you loved away from you.”
Yes, he did anger me, but that’s okay. His sleazy, shallow and controlling ways will eventually yield some very ugly karma for the both of them, and it’s most certainly not my problem. I tried to win her back through several phone calls, emails, flowers and even poetry, and she said NOTHING to me. She ran to Kim Jong Il, and the rest is history. Oh well. There are more intelligent and capable women out there anyway.
“If you still love her, you should go back and get her. Coming between two married people is never the good thing to do but at least talk to her…”
I really don’t believe I love her anymore. There was a time where I did, even after she betrayed my trust in her. However, her actions were pretty disturbing to everyone, and I really don’t think that she is worth pursuing. If she was an adult about all of this, then my feelings about the fallout might be different. But she is not an adult. She is an egocentric child who insists on ramming her way through regardless of the emotional destruction that she causes.
“i guess you also need some closure of a kind.”
That’s why I visited and apologized to her parents and thanked them for their hospitality over the past several years. If she was going to be too much of a coward to end this like an adult, I figured I might get some type of closure from the adults in her family. It worked, to a degree.
“Maybe she still loves you”
I sincerely doubt that. If she had an iota of concern about me, then she would have contacted my family or me regarding this situation.
“but she’s afraid to lose something stable for nothing certain.”
That may be, but what she should have done at the end of a four year relationship was take some time off. Time off would have given us the chance to grow up some more and resolve our petty differences. At a minimum, she should have grabbed a female roommate, and got an apartment in her hometown and lived like Laverne and Shirley for a little while to psychologically heal from the end of our relationship. Instead, she saw a shiny object offered by this creep, and she ran to it much like a mouse runs for the cheese in a mousetrap.
“There was no need to marry a perfect stranger This is just my opinion as a Crabby woman…”
Agreed wholeheartedly. She lashed out at her whole family when they were simply asking her to patiently figure all of her problems out before taking the plunge, and she wouldn’t listen to them. She was practically wearing a pair of cross-country shoes in her dash for the altar as far as I am concerned.
“i also like all or nothing and if i still harbor some feelings for an ex (which i understood she does, from your previous comments), i want to straighten things up once and for all…if you can get in touch with her do it, and tell her you want to talk, just to test the waters. If she doesn’t respond/reply (in case you e-mail her) you write her about what you feel like…it always works because Cancers value honesty and they do need closure. Hope it helps.”
Trust me, I tried. I called her several times last year during our time off, and she refused to talk. She refused to write, and she refused to say thank you for the flowers. She was too ardent in her madness to stop and think.
It’s probably best that I continue to heal, and keep my emotions under control since she will most likely hurt me again.
I know her mother most likely wishes that she and I had gotten married, but that cannot change the fact that she just went crazy and married the first buzzard that swooped down onto our disabled relationship.
Hey Jolie,
Send an email over to:
seinfeld89@hotmail.com
For some reason, this website is “moderating” my comments, and my most recent one was very long.
“….about your Crabby ex-girlfriend- i’m so sorry to hear about the situation. Been going through these threads and read about the Cancer girlfriend and her Capricorn husband..yaykes.”
Well, in hindsight, I believe that she suffers from Histrionic Personality Disorder and/or worse. The reason I say this is because she has almost a parasitic need to be attached to a husband type figure to the point where she is totally incapable of standing on her own two feet. “Emotional Independence” were not her watchwords during our unfortunate end, but “Reckless Dependence” were. The primary reason I say this is because she got married on the rebound to a perfect stranger she met on the computer and barely knew the guy for a full year prior. She wasn’t allowed to meet his parents until the day before the wedding, and the guy is a total slime. Her brother and mother both tried to at least get her to postpone the wedding to get to know him better, but she angrily lashed out at them in the process.
I don’t hold anything against her, but there were times where I observed some narcissistic tendencies that were just too much for me to take. For example, whenever we would squabble, she would never really meet me half-way. It was more of a “do it her way, or be punished” type situation, and no one wants to marry a person who behaves like that. Whenever we would fight, I would try to end things with an apology and push for a concerted effort to get things right, but she would actually hang onto her anger. She would also refuse to apologize, and even threw in insults. “I am sorry that you feel that way,” or “I am sorry that you don’t understand” were among the more popular phrases she sent my way when we would squabble, which really aren’t apologies, but more of pointed and condescending statements.
“Also, I understand what you feel like but i totally get the drift with her attitude. As a Cancer woman i’m sometimes stuck on something i want, and i won’t rest until i get it…maybe she felt that at that certain stage of her life she needed security and stability, therefore she chose to marry a Cap.”
Agreed, but the loser is nothing short of a authoritarian tyrant and scavenger of human misery. Her mother has communicated to me that he is nothing more than a manipulator and controller type, which is no more than an inch away from a total psychopath. Controller/manipulators tend to be psychologically and emotionally abusive people, and are also known to use physical violence from time to time if they don’t get their way. He probably doesn’t allow her to eat whatever she wants in a restaurant as I always did, and he probably forces her to do things against her will (like permanently move 1200 miles away into social isolation from her friends and family into a really dangerous city). He may even make her feel totally worthless if she doesn’t do as he says. Who is happy in such a marriage? I know she is not, even if she lies or puts up a facade, I would see right through it. Her eyes were vacant and totally despaired in her engagement photo, and I recognized it almost instantly.
“Caps are notorious for being the ‘fathers’ in the zodiac, i’ve had a Capricorn boyfriend and that’s how i sometimes felt around him.”
If she wanted a “Kim Jong Il” type who denies her the freedom, fun and flexibility that I always provided to her, then such oppression is hers to feast upon. She can enjoy the tyranny, because I was never, EVER like that with her.
“Anyways, i also understand your anger towards him because i know other Caps who can get too selfish and cold…and he also took the woman you loved away from you.”
Yes, he did anger me, but that’s okay. His sleazy, shallow and controlling ways will eventually yield some very ugly karma for the both of them, and it’s most certainly not my problem. I tried to win her back through several phone calls, emails, flowers and even poetry, and she said NOTHING to me. She ran to Kim Jong Il, and the rest is history. Oh well. There are more intelligent and capable women out there anyway.
“If you still love her, you should go back and get her. Coming between two married people is never the good thing to do but at least talk to her…”
I really don’t believe I love her anymore. There was a time where I did, even after she betrayed my trust in her. However, her actions were pretty disturbing to everyone, and I really don’t think that she is worth pursuing. If she was an adult about all of this, then my feelings about the fallout might be different. But she is not an adult. She is an egocentric child who insists on ramming her way through regardless of the emotional destruction that she causes.
“i guess you also need some closure of a kind.”
That’s why I visited and apologized to her parents and thanked them for their hospitality over the past several years. If she was going to be too much of a coward to end this like an adult, I figured I might get some type of closure from the adults in her family. It worked, to a degree.
Hey Jolie,
Nevermind on the email.
Here is the last half of my most recent response to you.
“Maybe she still loves you”
I sincerely doubt that. If she had an iota of concern about me, then she would have contacted my family or me regarding this situation.
“but she’s afraid to lose something stable for nothing certain.”
That may be, but what she should have done at the end of a four year relationship was take some time off. Time off would have given us the chance to grow up some more and resolve our petty differences. At a minimum, she should have grabbed a female roommate, and got an apartment in her hometown and lived like Laverne and Shirley for a little while to psychologically heal from the end of our relationship. Instead, she saw a shiny object offered by this creep, and she ran to it much like a mouse runs for the cheese in a mousetrap.
“There was no need to marry a perfect stranger This is just my opinion as a Crabby woman…”
Agreed wholeheartedly. She lashed out at her whole family when they were simply asking her to patiently figure all of her problems out before taking the plunge, and she wouldn’t listen to them. She was practically wearing a pair of cross-country shoes in her dash for the altar as far as I am concerned.
“i also like all or nothing and if i still harbor some feelings for an ex (which i understood she does, from your previous comments), i want to straighten things up once and for all…if you can get in touch with her do it, and tell her you want to talk, just to test the waters. If she doesn’t respond/reply (in case you e-mail her) you write her about what you feel like…it always works because Cancers value honesty and they do need closure. Hope it helps.”
Trust me, I tried. I called her several times last year during our time off, and she refused to talk. She refused to write, and she refused to say thank you for the flowers. She was too ardent in her madness to stop and think.
It’s probably best that I continue to heal, and keep my emotions under control since she will most likely hurt me again.
I know her mother most likely wishes that she and I had gotten married, but that cannot change the fact that she just went crazy and married the first buzzard that swooped down onto our disabled relationship.
“Maybe she still loves you”
I sincerely doubt that. If she had an iota of concern about me, then she would have contacted my family or me regarding this situation.
“but she’s afraid to lose something stable for nothing certain.”
That may be, but what she should have done at the end of a four year relationship was take some time off. Time off would have given us the chance to grow up some more and resolve our petty differences. At a minimum, she should have grabbed a female roommate, and got an apartment in her hometown and lived like Laverne and Shirley for a little while to psychologically heal from the end of our relationship. Instead, she saw a shiny object offered by this creep, and she ran to it much like a mouse runs for the cheese in a mousetrap.
“There was no need to marry a perfect stranger This is just my opinion as a Crabby woman…”
Agreed wholeheartedly. She lashed out at her whole family when they were simply asking her to patiently figure all of her problems out before taking the plunge, and she wouldn’t listen to them. She was practically wearing a pair of cross-country shoes in her dash for the altar as far as I am concerned.
“i also like all or nothing and if i still harbor some feelings for an ex (which i understood she does, from your previous comments), i want to straighten things up once and for all…if you can get in touch with her do it, and tell her you want to talk, just to test the waters. If she doesn’t respond/reply (in case you e-mail her) you write her about what you feel like…it always works because Cancers value honesty and they do need closure. Hope it helps.”
Trust me, I tried. I called her several times last year during our time off, and she refused to talk. She refused to write, and she refused to say thank you for the flowers. She was too ardent in her madness to stop and think.
It’s probably best that I continue to heal, and keep my emotions under control since she will most likely hurt me again.
I know her mother most likely wishes that she and I had gotten married, but that cannot change the fact that she just went crazy and married the first buzzard that swooped down onto our disabled relationship.
“Maybe she still loves you”
I sincerely doubt that. If she had an iota of concern about me, then she would have contacted my family or me regarding this situation.
but she’s afraid to lose something stable for nothing certain.
That may be, but what she should have done at the end of a four year relationship was take some time off. Time off would have given us the chance to grow up some more and resolve our petty differences. At a minimum, she should have grabbed a female roommate, and got an apartment in her hometown and lived like Laverne and Shirley for a little while to psychologically heal from the end of our relationship. Instead, she saw a bright and shiny object offered by this creep, and she ran to it much like a mouse runs for the cheese in a mousetrap.
“There was no need to marry a perfect stranger This is just my opinion as a Crabby woman…”
Agreed wholeheartedly. She lashed out at her whole family when they were simply asking her to patiently figure all of her problems out before taking the plunge, and she wouldn’t listen to them. She was practically wearing a pair of cross-country shoes in her dash for the altar as far as I am concerned.
“i also like all or nothing and if i still harbor some feelings for an ex (which i understood she does, from your previous comments), i want to straighten things up once and for all…if you can get in touch with her do it, and tell her you want to talk, just to test the waters. If she doesn’t respond/reply (in case you e-mail her) you write her about what you feel like…it always works because Cancers value honesty and they do need closure. Hope it helps.”
Trust me, I tried. I called her several times last year during our time off, and she refused to talk. She refused to write, and she refused to say thank you for the flowers. She was too ardent in her madness to stop and think.
It’s probably best that I continue to heal, and keep my emotions under control since she will most likely hurt me again.
I know her mother most likely wishes that she and I had gotten married, but that cannot change the fact that she just went crazy and married the first buzzard that swooped down onto our disabled relationship.
@ Mr. Fish
Thanks for the e-mail! i just have to say this little thing about a part of your comment- first, i am obviously not acquainted with all the details, secondly, i’ve just had a bitter experience with a Pisces so that might make me rather subjective, third, i really don’t have a clue on your ex’s personality therefore i will have to resort to generalizing, and speak for myself basically, as a Cancer. Like what would i act or feel if i was your girlfriend, related to what you shared with me here.
First of all-‘That may be, but what she should have done at the end of a four year relationship was take some time off.’ Hmmmm….four years together and no denouement? That’s something cancers DREAD, feeling they’ve a) invested all their feelings into someone and b) no positive outcome whatsoever. again, i really hope you don’t take this the wrong way, i’m sure you guys had your things going on and your reasons for not moving forward or cutting it, but as a Cancer, i’d be crushed to feel like i’ve wasted four years of my life with someone who’s undecided, who doesn’t know if i’m the one he wants to stand still with, and who just…lingers around.
If you want something you have to grab it. Cancer women are a little more conventional when it comes to the idea of a couple, of marriage, having a family or just living together with someone and there will always be certain ‘steps’ she expects to happen.. judging by her apparent rush to marry another man, right after your breakup-yep, i ain’t very far from the truth. Your ex might have felt and known and considered THAT was what she had to do, get married. If it didn’t work out with you, she tried it with someone else. When it comes to emotional truisms there’s always a cancer woman underneath…this is who ‘we’ are. I personally (and i’ve also seen it in other people) tend to attach labels and just need certainty. I hate wasting time, randomness and ‘whatever will be, will be’ when it comes to important issues…
My Pisces, for example, was extremely fickle. That doesn’t mean you’re just like him, but i’m sure that if you would have proposed, or showed more decisiveness and willingness to include her in your life she wouldn’t have jumped in the marriage with the Capricorn. This sole thing proves she needed something you didn’t give her, and she needed it badly. Otherwise she would have done as you said- took a little time to mourn the relationship. I guess she got that feeling of exhaustion, of having worn herself out ‘for nothing’- this is how Cancers dramatize.
I have a slight clue about your former quarrels on the idea of marriage, the religious aspect and everything (if i recall it well). You systematically denied her the 100% access to YOU because you held on to your principles, which is admirable but not the case with a Cancer woman. Her inner reason must have appreciated it, saluted you and ended it right there and then- you didn’t ‘love her enough’. The Capricorn guy? well he wanted her so for him those things weren’t that important…that’s how he worked his way and got to play such a major role in her life as you say, persuading her to do all those life-changing choices. He just took her and that was that….
….which brings me to another part of your comment- her stubbornness and lack of willingness to compromise. Been there, done that…especially with a Gemini ex who was literally pushing me over the edge. Cancer women are a little unstable meaning moody, emotionally fickle when they squabble, and even the calmest ones do have a temper. Her reaction is either what i believe to be a certain amount of exasperation, or you, as a Pisces, were excessively hurt due to your sensitivity.
If she never behaved like she regretted it, not with words but with actions, and if she was pushing you away harder and harder as you tried to make her see she was wrong, then you clearly did something to piss her off big time. Maybe you don’t know about it because she never told you, and her hidden anger came from the fact that you didn’t even realize it in the first place. a bit of a ‘why waste my energy trying to make it up to him when he clearly doesn’t love me because he wouldn’t have done X..’. i am not 100% sure about it, but i tend to believe this is the only explanation from what you’ve said so far. Cancers hold grudges and they don’t say what you did to them because they expect you to understand it. Until you do, you’re not completely worth their love.
There’s no denying that the people we love or have loved at a given point will always be there with us, no matter what. But disappointment is sometimes so intense it reaches unbearable limits. I am referring to your suggestion that you guys should have taken some time off and think things deeper and assess your positions. See, Cancers are sensitive and romantic. If you want them, nothing should stop you from showing it (the ‘constant need for love reminders’, classic line about Cancers). I don’t mean to sound harsh, but as a Cancer woman i can say, if you guys haven’t figured where you stand in four years, would a little break have REALLY mattered? she definitely didn’t think so, otherwise she would have done everything to save the relationship.
just this thing, her precipitated marriage with a virtual stranger against her family’s judgment and her friends’, shows she needed that in her life. whether she has a good relationship with her mother or not, that doesn’t really matter because she got what she wanted, a ‘family’ of her own, she’s independent and everything now, she’s MARRIED, and you fraternizing with her mother on this cause makes things worse, because now you’re one of ‘them’ and she won’t listen. this is what it sounds like to me.
If you don’t love her anymore and she doesn’t either, then there’s no need for you to keep torturing yourself thinking about it. as i said, you seem a sweet and caring guy and she’s a very lucky woman to have you in her life because you really care about her. You can be sure you’ve done it all for her by being true to your feelings and never refusing her your help if she ever needs it. But i guess that’s all you can do for now, as the situation doesn’t change (she doesn’t answer your calls, etc). I think it’s because she wants people to stop bugging her. Let her do whatever she wants because if there’s any tiny little shred of doubt in her heart, it’ll grow more and more and make her reconsider. Just don’t contact her anymore and she’s gonna start thinking about it once people appear to have come to terms with her decision.
Hi Jolie,
How are you? Thanks for the detailed reply!
“First of all-’That may be, but what she should have done at the end of a four year relationship was take some time off.’ Hmmmm….four years together and no denouement? That’s something cancers DREAD, feeling they’ve a) invested all their feelings into someone and b) no positive outcome whatsoever. again, i really hope you don’t take this the wrong way, i’m sure you guys had your things going on and your reasons for not moving forward or cutting it, but as a Cancer, i’d be crushed to feel like i’ve wasted four years of my life with someone who’s undecided, who doesn’t know if i’m the one he wants to stand still with, and who just…lingers around.”
Honestly, we were doing fine in 2005 and 2006. There weren’t really any big problems then. However, 2007 was the 2 year mark where things began to fall apart. That summer, I drove some 1000 miles round trip to visit with her and her family during her birthday, and later that November, I made the same trip to her family home. Only that Thanksgiving, I drove her to her parents’ home myself. It was that following December, the Christmas season of 2007, that really was the turning point. You see, she had final exams that December, and I didn’t want to pressure her about spending time with me because I wanted her to do well on her exams. But afterwards, I was hoping we could spend some time together. As a result of her parents’ need to spend time with her, she didn’t spend any time with me or my family at all that entire month! What angered me was that she also refused to listen to me when I cautioned her about the bad weather that was coming. She drove through a very dangerous storm system nonetheless to get home to her parents’ home, but what upset me was that she refused to spend time with my family and she drove into a dangerous storm system against my advice. As a result of this calamity, we were having fights on the phone and I was upset about all of it. Right after Christmas, both my Great Aunt and Grandpa died just a few days apart. She wrote a really ugly letter to my mother and father in the guise of a sympathy card, and it upset my mother so badly that I couldn’t believe it. Yeah, it’s true that we were squabbling, but there was no need to be vicious with my mother and father while we were all grieving our losses. To make matters worse, she refused to apologize to my parents for writing them like that, and spent the entire year of 2008 avoiding them.
“If you want something you have to grab it. Cancer women are a little more conventional when it comes to the idea of a couple, of marriage, having a family or just living together with someone and there will always be certain ’steps’ she expects to happen.. judging by her apparent rush to marry another man, right after your breakup-yep, i ain’t very far from the truth.”
I don’t disagree there, but Dad told me that I shouldn’t dive into a marriage. He dated my mother for about 3-4 years before they got engaged and married. Mom is a Cancer, BTW.
Back to task, patience is a virtue. As I got to know her the first 2 years, I liked what I saw. The last two years, however, were really ugly. Lashing into my parents and avoiding them caused me to hesitate and question whether or not I should dedicate myself to such a clearly angry and arrogant person.
“Your ex might have felt and known and considered THAT was what she had to do, get married. If it didn’t work out with you, she tried it with someone else. When it comes to emotional truisms there’s always a cancer woman underneath…this is who ‘we’ are. I personally (and i’ve also seen it in other people) tend to attach labels and just need certainty. I hate wasting time, randomness and ‘whatever will be, will be’ when it comes to important issues…”
To me, marriage is not a case of trial and error. It is a pact that is supposed to last until the day I die, which is what I respect about it. That’s why I wanted to know who I was truly dealing with before preparing for any ceremonies.
“My Pisces, for example, was extremely fickle. That doesn’t mean you’re just like him, but i’m sure that if you would have proposed, or showed more decisiveness and willingness to include her in your life she wouldn’t have jumped in the marriage with the Capricorn. This sole thing proves she needed something you didn’t give her, and she needed it badly. Otherwise she would have done as you said- took a little time to mourn the relationship. I guess she got that feeling of exhaustion, of having worn herself out ‘for nothing’- this is how Cancers dramatize.”
Hmm. There were a few reasons why I didn’t propose, but they were pretty heavy. If she hadn’t lashed out at her friends and family, that would have made my interest a little stronger.
“I have a slight clue about your former quarrels on the idea of marriage, the religious aspect and everything (if i recall it well). You systematically denied her the 100% access to YOU because you held on to your principles, which is admirable but not the case with a Cancer woman.”
Not necessarily. She told me that she wanted to go to the classes offered by my church, but later reneged on her word. She then turned the tables on me, and tried to pull me into her church instead. My resistance was really a response mechanism to her classic “bait and switch” technique.
“Her inner reason must have appreciated it, saluted you and ended it right there and then- you didn’t ‘love her enough’. The Capricorn guy? well he wanted her so for him those things weren’t that important…that’s how he worked his way and got to play such a major role in her life as you say, persuading her to do all those life-changing choices. He just took her and that was that….”
I see shades of the classic story of Faustus when I think of her sometimes. She grew dissatisfied with her situation, and in slithered Satan to seemingly offer her everything she ever wanted. All she had to do was allow him to take complete control of her life, separate her from everyone she knows and loves, disallow her the freedom that she always enjoyed with me, and instead force her into a career that brings him more money. That tyrant doesn’t give her any love, intimacy and affection. He’s a joke, and from what her mother told me, he’s a control freak as well.
“….which brings me to another part of your comment- her stubbornness and lack of willingness to compromise.”
That’s why I hesitated. Would you want to be with a person who is so ardent, arrogant and spiteful as to refuse to listen to you?
“Cancers hold grudges and they don’t say what you did to them because they expect you to understand it. Until you do, you’re not completely worth their love.”
Well, not all Cancers are as mean-spirited and self-centered. Because she was mean to my mother without a justification, and she also avoided contact with her instead of acting like an adult, I really was hurt by her behavior.
“There’s no denying that the people we love or have loved at a given point will always be there with us, no matter what. But disappointment is sometimes so intense it reaches unbearable limits. I am referring to your suggestion that you guys should have taken some time off and think things deeper and assess your positions. See, Cancers are sensitive and romantic. If you want them, nothing should stop you from showing it (the ‘constant need for love reminders’, classic line about Cancers). I don’t mean to sound harsh, but as a Cancer woman i can say, if you guys haven’t figured where you stand in four years, would a little break have REALLY mattered? she definitely didn’t think so, otherwise she would have done everything to save the relationship.”
People need time to recover from a broken heart. Rebounds are never healthy, and rebound marriages are usually destructive. This is especially true for anyone who is married to a manipulator/controller.
“just this thing, her precipitated marriage with a virtual stranger against her family’s judgment and her friends’, shows she needed that in her life. whether she has a good relationship with her mother or not, that doesn’t really matter because she got what she wanted, a ‘family’ of her own, she’s independent and everything now, she’s MARRIED, and you fraternizing with her mother on this cause makes things worse,”
Well, the dialogue with her mother is subsiding as I prepare for my deployment, and I don’t expect anything further from anyone. Still, I cannot help but wonder why a person would lash out at her own family in order to attain something so poisonous. She was very, very close to her parents and brother to the point where she would get very defensive and ugly with me if I suggested that she not spend so much time with them. In so turning on the very people who financed her college and law school days, I cannot help but wonder how I could be happy with someone who is so greatly disrespectful toward people who are ultimately the reason she is where she is. It is this powerful sense of disrespect that really is among the more disturbing things I have seen to date.
“If you don’t love her anymore and she doesn’t either, then there’s no need for you to keep torturing yourself thinking about it. as i said, you seem a sweet and caring guy and she’s a very lucky woman to have you in her life because you really care about her. You can be sure you’ve done it all for her by being true to your feelings and never refusing her your help if she ever needs it. But i guess that’s all you can do for now, as the situation doesn’t change (she doesn’t answer your calls, etc).”
You have perceived the facts correctly. By refraining from speaking to me, she has left a void in both of us. But, it’s really no big deal when I realize that my wounds will heal whereas her pain is prolonged by her marriage to a weasel.
“I think it’s because she wants people to stop bugging her. Let her do whatever she wants because if there’s any tiny little shred of doubt in her heart, it’ll grow more and more and make her reconsider.”
I have left her alone ever since she sent me a rude and spiteful message about her engagement some 5 months after we stopped speaking to each other. Her anger was enough to make me realize that none of this is worth fighting for anymore, but I had to find some sense of closure before this potentially dangerous venture becomes my life this summer.
“Just don’t contact her anymore and she’s gonna start thinking about it once people appear to have come to terms with her decision.”
Granted, and I will. This past six weeks was really great for me because I stayed pro-active with my responsibilities in a training environment.
Dear Mr. Fishy,
To answer your most appreciated questions…
1.) What is he doing for work? Does he have a career going?
Hmm well he happens to be a professional athlete. I’m sure that sentence answered to all the reasoning towards our separation.
2.) How far away is he from your home?
I live in California where he happened to make a good name for himself until he broke his arm. He broke his arm and was released. I would say that he missed me most when he had to leave this second time back to his home in Detroit. (The first being his ex-girlfriend episode of the summer). He was probably bored since he was pretty much stationary with having to heal up before he could work out again. He told me how much he missed me, how he thought of me all of the time, but I was waiting for him to do something about it. He would call me and text me all of the time… he even sent me music, certain trance love songs. ( I got him into the style of music in the first place, but it was cute of him, only I was still hurt by the previous situation with his ex). He’s now signed in New Orleans, LA. Once his career was determined that’s when he stopped texting and I stopped answering. I deleted his number, and I’m sure he lost mine. The distance even with spiritual capabilities lets me know that it wasn’t meant to be. I was broken-hearted, but I am going to school for art, more specifically photography. I would not have done as well if he was in my life right now. I believe I would have been distracted and perhaps I would have allowed his life to become mine. This semester I have been able to find confidence in my artwork. I am getting the credit that I’ve only dreamed about and my first show is coming up (:
3.) Are you close to your mother, and has he met her? If so, does he have a respectful attitude with her?
Lastly, I am as close to my mother as I can handle. I get my intellectual and philosophical traits from my father (aries) and my social and caring or emotional traits from my mother (pisces). She has been the best mother one could ask for, but when she is out of work like now she can get on my nerves. She’s a much better person when she feels needed or is busy working. I’m always able to vent to her about my social issues where I can only be serious and otherworldly with my dad. So the dynamic works. He met my mother briefly, so there really isn’t much to say, but I’m sure they would have had an understanding. It’s interesting to me though- I’m the cancer and he’s the pisces and my mother is a pisces as his mother is a cancer. I never met her, though he wanted me to meet his entire family. He was going to pay for me to visit Detroit, but I am trying to build my life here. Plus I would never over do something I wasn’t sure of.
Things I remember and want to share about our relationship >> Having money, he was able to afford things I could only dream of, but I am not greedy for material gain and I tend to shy from attraction. He was humble too, but fame can teach people if they can learn from it. I think he was astonished by me because I didn’t know who he was when I got with him… he had to tell me. He was amazed that I didn’t light up when he told me his profession, in fact my reaction was to blush and feel like a fool for not knowing. We joked about how I thought he was a janitor for the team, when he was starting line up. My first guess was personal trainer. There was one time when I realized he could possibly be addicted to cocaine, but he had to get tested often and so I hoped it was experimental. He said I was good for him because I would never waste my time with the drug and that if he was always with me he wouldn’t want the drug ever. I had watched my previous pisces love with his addiction to marijuana for 5 years, but he only defended the drug and denied his addiction. This seemed different, he was asking for help, but things happened so fast and I know inside that he escaped my help because it was easier. I looked at his pictures on Facebook and he looks like he is using – he did not look like that until after he left. I never once told him to stop, only he asked me to stay with him so that he could stop. Weird. It only leaves me with confusion Mr. Fishy.
I know people will say oh you don’t want to be with someone like that and it is true. I don’t and that is part of why I am not. I am only circling my memories for answers to solve.
Mr. Fish
Sorry I meant that last Reply to send you, to Mr. Fish. I mistakenly added a (y) 😉
MR. fish, You seem like such a great person. I’m a crab but something was definitly wrong with the crab you dated. Maybe she got into drugs with the capricorn idiot. Sounds like he brainwashed her. But once she comes back to her senses if she ever does she will really regret how she has treated you and others. Can’t believe you would even date her after her being disrespectful to your family. I really believe something more was going on since she didn’t even have the decency to say thank you for the poetry and flowers. We cancers do get angry and hold a grudge but to the extent which she has. So that just leads me to believe something happened or was said to her that you don’t know about. Causing her angry towards you. Take care of yourself. Can you say where you’re being deployed to?
Hi Sandy,
Thank you for the kind words. Yes, I am getting better as the time goes by. There was a time where I thought we could salvage our relationship if we worked together amicably, but that time has clearly since passed and it’s time to move on with my life.
I do believe that he brainwashed her against everyone. The fact that she was angrily lashing out at people she knows and loves really boggled my mind, and to isolate her 1200 miles away from everyone she so ardently defended makes perfect sense since he is trying to control and manipulate her ability to be her own person.
Cancer ladies are still my favorite simply because they are the only ones who truly understand me for who I am. The earth signs may be compatible, but they don’t have the first clue on how to sense and perceive my mental and emotional depth.
That’s what Crabs are for!
Try not to worry about my ex’s disrespectful attitude and refusal to be decent with others. Her karma will eventually catch up to her, if it has not already done so.
I am left to hope that her anger may be subsiding, because if it hasn’t, all that hatred and negative emotion will eventually burn her up inside.
Know what I mean?
PS…
I will be in a very hot and sandy environment for a little while, but at least the time away will provide a better opportunity for my heart to continue to heal.
Crabscare,
How are you feeling?
I am actually making a lot of progress in my recovery, but the ride is a roller coaster that I will never soon forget.
It’s a ride that has so many twists, turns, ups and downs that it’s not humanly possible for me to be in a committed relationship right now.
Yeah, sure. I am okay for a few days, and then BAM!!!!!!!
It hits me like an 18 wheeler all over again.
Grrr….
I am really looking forward to the day that the cart finally comes screeching to a halt, and someone tells me that I can get off this wild ride!!!
@ Mr Fish
i’ve been having this thought…i think there are several different types of Pisces after all. i obviously don’t know you, but you seem to be an open, sensitive, down to earth person who has so much to offer and who was indeed the savior and the support in your relationship with the Cancer girl. I second what Sandy said, maybe she got into some nasty business with her Capricorn, drugs or other illicit stuff like that, and he had the power to persuade her that she depends on him, or that he’s the only one who can understand her…her behavior appears to be very strange.
okay so my question is, are you a first decan pisces or second/third? i seriously think there are differences between people of the same sign…my Pisces was NOTHING like you- a frivolous social butterfly, a profiteer and a liar…who thought he had so much game nobody could rat out his lies…anyways.
i’m glad to read you’re getting better. i didn’t know Pisces we as sensitive and loving as Cancers…i recognize myself in you. it’s about that inner force than compels you to keep loving someone when you know you shouldn’t be doing it…when everything is over, we still hope. that’s touching and i think it really casts a light on what truly exists underneath.
i think you will definitely find someone worthy of your feelings and yourself as a person. you must try to let go your pain and resentment towards everything that happened. when we least think of something, it will sort out. don’t waste precious moments waiting for something to happen. it will when you least expect it; believe me i know what it feels like, it happened to me with a Leo guy last year…and in the end i realized i was loving a projection of what i would have liked him and us to be …
it’s hard to let go, the easiest way being not thinking about having to let it go. just free yourself. let people walk their own paths because you won’t be able to help everyone you love or want to help. they must grow up in their own ways, which can sometimes be different than yours.
as a water sign, and the crybaby one, i understood it’s painful and in the end, impossible to try living through someone else. we have to get up, dust ourselves and start walking…it’s closure, it’s settling with yourself.
don’t let it take over you, because if you reach a certain point and cross the limit, as they say, you may never come back- when you say it’s not possible for you to be in a relationship right now. try meeting someone new, as friends first. it is going to help and i found out it IS true what they say, that the person to come next after a breakup is going to be so much better…
i can understand what you feel like. i was traumatized and it took me a year to get over the Leo…and i’m still a little fragile 🙁 but now when i meet him, and i think of whom i really loved…it’s so different than where we left!i would never go back there!
but your problem comes from someone who has changed overnight and has to be ‘rescued’ from the villain (the capricorn) to be able to come back and be her old self is another story…i told you my opinion. it’s just not fair to see you suffering like that! believe me i would help you if i could, and i’m sure most Cancer (and not only) gals here would do it! it’s so sad to see someone suffering!
Mr Fish, you won’t get closure if you put an ocean/a desert between you and her. it will embitter you. do the impossible and talk to her. go to her house. ask her family to give you her address (if you don’t already have it) and just take two days off and find out what’s she doing, and just pop up and talk to her! don’t let this consume you from the inside!
the other option would be ‘letting it go’. i think you’re too fragile and hurt to be able to do that right now. until you find closure you won’t be able to get over this, or it’s gonna take so long…just don’t torture yourself anymore 🙁 god i wish i could do something! what i wouldn’t say to the Cancer girl if i met her!!
excuse my rant…but please try getting out of this state of mind. you can’t let it take over you.
Dear Jolie,
“I’ve been having this thought…i think there are several different types of Pisces after all.”
Absolutely. I have been exposed to a real variety of Pisces men and women, and some of them are good folks whereas some of them are bad. Dr. Charles Krauthammer, Kurt Russel and Bruce Willis are among my favorite examples of decent Pisces men in today’s society.
“i obviously don’t know you, but you seem to be an open, sensitive, down to earth person who has so much to offer and who was indeed the savior and the support in your relationship with the Cancer girl.”
Well, I certainly appreciate you saying that, and I feel the same about you. It is true that my intent was to salvage the relationship when she was trying to run away. The hope was that she would try to meet me half-way in our disagreements, rather than tear down the entire structure simply because we disagreed on some things.
“I second what Sandy said, maybe she got into some nasty business with her Capricorn, drugs or other illicit stuff like that,”
I have no idea what happened, and neither does her very upset mother. With her daughter living some 1200 miles away, there is cause for concern on all sides since she was so close to them. In the past, she made fun of her brother for moving two hours away to live with his wife, but that is insignificant given what Mr. Controller has done to her. I am largely disinclined to get involved, but I feel a sudden impulse to call and check on her safety from time to time simply because she has married a scam artist who has isolated her away from everyone and moved into a really dangerous city. A city where criminals intentionally prey on innocent people, instead of each other. A scam artist who has emotionally manipulated her when she was most vulnerable. She is very different from some of my other ex-girlfriends because the others married decent men, and I really have no reason to fear for their safety or security. I sense that the other women are in good hands because they seem happy in their photos, and they seem to live in a safe place. That’s probably why they do not permeate my thoughts as she does.
“and he had the power to persuade her that she depends on him, or that he’s the only one who can understand her…her behavior appears to be very strange.”
While she sometimes underestimated my sixth sense, I could always sense and perceive her emotions and feelings by simply seeing her. No one can fool me once I become a close part of someone’s life, and the facade will eventually drop. Her behavior shocked not only me, but her entire family as well. This is what hurt so much in January. I had no idea that this radical behavior was taking place last October, but it was obviously too late to do anything about it.
“okay so my question is, are you a first decan pisces or second/third?”
Pisces, Decan III.
“i seriously think there are differences between people of the same sign…my Pisces was NOTHING like you- a frivolous social butterfly, a profiteer and a liar…”
I am sorry to hear this happened. Was he mean to you on purpose, or was he mean to you unintentionally, or a mix of both? He probably lied because he was insecure, immature and fearful, which is waht motivates many liars. He may have lied for other reasons as well.
“who thought he had so much game nobody could rat out his lies…anyways.”
Cancer, like Pisces, have an innate quality to detect lies and BS when your radar is activated. I tend to have mine on more often than not, and I am certain that when your is on, you can sense and perceive in a strong way also.
“i’m glad to read you’re getting better. i didn’t know Pisces we as sensitive and loving as Cancers…i recognize myself in you. it’s about that inner force than compels you to keep loving someone when you know you shouldn’t be doing it…when everything is over, we still hope. that’s touching and i think it really casts a light on what truly exists underneath.”
Well, thank you again. I maintained some hope that she might do the mature thing and find a female buddy in her hometown, and live in an apartment like Laverne and Shirley for a while. This is what many sensible people do after exiting a very serious and meaningful relationship. They find friends who care about them, and get through the immediate fallout and impending mental-emotional roller coaster ride with their friends and loved ones. A rebound is the worst decision one can make, as it represents a drastic, knee-jerk reaction that merely covers up the problem instead of dealing with it and solving it.
“i think you will definitely find someone worthy of your feelings and yourself as a person. you must try to let go your pain and resentment towards everything that happened.”
This is great advice. I maintain open communication with the people who know me, and try my best to keep my emotions under control. However, I do have to vent from time to time, and it’s akin to allowing a tea kettle to whistle when the pressure is high. I fear what my ex has done is to somehow plug up the holes in her tea pot, and is unfortunately about to become the victim of a boiling-hot explosion of emotional rage. It is fair to say that Mr. Jerk probably did not allow her to voice her emotional distress over our problems, and most likely changed the subject whenever her mental anguish would surface. This is just what I sense, however, and this feeling may be wrong.
“when we least think of something, it will sort out. don’t waste precious moments waiting for something to happen. it will when you least expect it; believe me i know what it feels like, it happened to me with a Leo guy last year…and in the end i realized i was loving a projection of what i would have liked him and us to be …”
Agreed. Was the Leo often bossy and rude to you? Was he this way in front of others? “Do this, do that. Get me this, you shouldn’t believe that, don’t do that, etc….” Kind of oppressive, isn’t it?
“it’s hard to let go, the easiest way being not thinking about having to let it go. just free yourself. let people walk their own paths because you won’t be able to help everyone you love or want to help.”
That’s true. I am sometimes overwhelmed with a deep-seated concern about people that are no longer in my life simply because they left under bad circumstances. However, I also realize that some people don’t get along with me, and I cannot get along with some people. That’s just a hard fact of life, right?
“they must grow up in their own ways, which can sometimes be different than yours. as a water sign, and the crybaby one, i understood it’s painful and in the end, impossible to try living through someone else. we have to get up, dust ourselves and start walking…it’s closure, it’s settling with yourself.”
See, that’s what I think is going to happen too. Her anger and resentment toward everyone will make her totally miserable, and the pressure from Mr. Dictator will only be tolerated for so long. To be honest, her life may unfortunately play out like one of those Lifetime TV movies, but I hope that she is not hurt by him. To be honest, I sometimes hope for a little Divine intervention and that he is thrown down a flight of stairs or falls off a roof due to his tyrannical behavior toward her. His karma will catch up to him sooner or later.
“don’t let it take over you, because if you reach a certain point and cross the limit, as they say, you may never come back- when you say it’s not possible for you to be in a relationship right now.”
I try to keep things from getting me down. Exercising regularly is very healthy for endorphin levels, and I also eat on a very healthy level. The cool part is that I feel like the aging process is slowing down through such positive behavior, and I also take a melatonin pill at night whenever feeling restless in bed.
“try meeting someone new, as friends first. it is going to help and i found out it IS true what they say, that the person to come next after a breakup is going to be so much better…”
This is true. I have developed a very close friendship with someone, but am trying to keep her from being a predictable rebound relationship. We talk often on the phone, even though we haven’t spoken much lately due to the stressful environment I am currently in.
“i can understand what you feel like. i was traumatized and it took me a year to get over the Leo…and i’m still a little fragile but now when i meet him, and i think of whom i really loved…it’s so different than where we left!i would never go back there!”
You are wise to keep your emotions guarded against potential suitors while recovering from your broken heart. My mother went through a similar situation that you did, and she also took some time out to heal.
“but your problem comes from someone who has changed overnight and has to be ‘rescued’ from the villain (the capricorn) to be able to come back and be her old self is another story…i told you my opinion.”
Yeah, and you are right. In truth, I think she just went berzerk. She literally lost all sensibility and logic, and was practically wearing a pair of Nike shoes in her dash for the altar with Sleazardo. While part of me does love and worry about her, the other components remind me that there is nothing I can do for her. She made this decision, and I have to get on with my life now.
“it’s just not fair to see you suffering like that! believe me i would help you if i could, and i’m sure most Cancer (and not only) gals here would do it! it’s so sad to see someone suffering!”
Thank you, and I really appreciate your thoughts. It’s going to be alright, as it is vindicating to know that someone else can relate to these problems. My close friend also went through similar trauma with a Scorpio man, and he really hurt her feelings too.
“Mr Fish, you won’t get closure if you put an ocean/a desert between you and her. it will embitter you. do the impossible and talk to her.”
I tried. I really did. One would tend to believe that after my diplomatic visit with her parents in February, she would have the maturity to pick up the phone and thank me for trying to be an grown-up about all of this stuff. Knowing her mother, my ex has probably been informed that I leave for Afghanistan very soon. The fact that she has made the decision to be absolutely silent toward me about this is very telling. It’s almost as if I never existed in her life, which is hard to deal with but understandable. If she gave a rat’s behind about me, then she would at least send an email or something. Honestly, I think any form of direct communication from my end will only be met with open hostility from her end. Who knows what kind of person she is now, as I am fairly certain that she is not the same girl I loved and cared for over the years.
“go to her house. ask her family to give you her address (if you don’t already have it) and just take two days off and find out what’s she doing, and just pop up and talk to her! don’t let this consume you from the inside!”
I think she would just run if I did that, thereby removing the ability to clear the air.
More to follow!
“the other option would be ‘letting it go’. i think you’re too fragile and hurt to be able to do that right now.”
Yeah, I am trying to just let it all go. It’s hard, but I am making progress.
“until you find closure you won’t be able to get over this, or it’s gonna take so long…”
That’s right. It is taking a while, but it will be okay.
“just don’t torture yourself anymore god i wish i could do something! what i wouldn’t say to the Cancer girl if i met her!!”
You are right, and I appreciate it. I believe that her own sorrow and dispair are her punishments, and that is more than she can probably handle. That’s why it’s probably best that I just let her figure all of this out for herself, while simultaneously spending time with a better person.
excuse my rant…but please try getting out of this state of mind. you can’t let it take over you.
BTW, you were not ranting.
It’s okay.
You provided much appreciated insight into my problems, and I won’t forget your help.
It’s great, and I know that you care.
That’s why I am thankful.
MR. Fish-
I haven’t ever commented under this post but I feel for you. I was in a similar situation with a Pisces male as you are with your Canver female; I wish my Pisces was as sensitive and caring as you.
Take care.
Hi Lioness,
I am really sorry that you went through some serious trouble with a Pisces man. I believe we know each other from sass in the forums area, and I hope that your broken heart will continue to heal.
Perhaps he was too immature to handle a sensible relationship with you.
Personally, I cannot stand irresponsible people!
Grrr!!!
MR FISHY, We are really going to miss you when you are deployed.
Dear, Mr. Fish (:
I just noticed that you had asked me how I was feeling a while back. I am doing pretty well and I have been growing a lot this year. I had sent you a post a while back too, but I addressed it Mr. Fishy by mistake… (I thought I was making your name sound even more cute and then I realized that you probably wouldn’t read it). I wasn’t sure if you had missed it or not, but in it I answered some of your previous questions to my predicament. I know exactly how you feel when you say that you wish it would stop for once, if your mind and soul could get past the pain of letting go of that someone. I have rejected a pisces man who I loved and have been rejected from another pisces man that I was potentially in love with. Both sides are devastating. And time really does take, but you have to keep moving. I feel like I have been going through a sort of rebirth by staying single for the time being. And when I say staying single I also mean that I have not done the boom boom since that special someone left haha. I am truly learning about myself all over again because really I didn’t ever quite get to know who I was. See I did gymnastics all of my life and then when I decided to quit at age 16 I met my first love who I spent 6 years devoting myself to. So I basically went from being sheltered to sheltered again. When I broke that off it took less than a year for someone to break my heart…I often wonder if it was only karma smacking me in the face. Now that I have had six months to myself I am seeing a light I had not seen before. I am learning to be happy with myself and I too am not ready to be in any kind of relationship. I am almost becoming selfish with my alone time haha. I wish I had more to cheer you up with, but I am going through the same misery so it’s not like I can say you will get over it. I see myself getting over it each day, but that (spirit) connection is always open whether we want it to be or not. I hope to hear from you again soon and if you didn’t ever get to read my previous post scroll up to May 2nd!
“We must not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time.” – T.S. Eliot
Dear Trinity,
Thank you for saying that. It was really nice to see that you care.
What are you up to these days?
Crabscare,
Actually, I had a really long response ready for you, but unfortunately the computer froze and lost the data. But yes, I did carefully respond and wanted to let you know that I understand your dilemma.
Have you ever read the recent stories about Carly Simon and James Taylor?
According to the article below, James has been acting like Carly doesn’t even exist. It’s like he tried to erase her from his life, and I really find it hard to believe that he has been successful in this effort. I just don’t see how it’s possible for a Crab or a Fish to completely erase the other from memory.
Here is the article:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/05/12/carly-simon-on-painful-pa_n_101398.html
Taylor and Simon divorced in 1983, after 11 years of marriage. However, James remarried in 1985 to a Capricorn, and Simon remarried in December 1987. However, Simon divorced her second husband in 2007, whereas James is still with his second wife.
What I am trying to figure out is why James has to act like Carly doesn’t exist. It’s not right, nor do I think that people should do that to someone. James re-married a Capricorn, and I have to wonder if he feels the same intimacy and love that he felt with Carly. Granted that she gave him the ultimatum to either get off the drugs and spend more time with the family, or to continue with the bad behavior. It’s really a shame, because he did get off the drugs almost as soon as the divorce papers were signed.
Why couldn’t they get back together once James was sober again?
“I just noticed that you had asked me how I was feeling a while back. I am doing pretty well and I have been growing a lot this year.”
Yes, I know this feeling too. I am healing my wounds, but I occasionally have problems like dreams or nightmares regarding my ex. It’s a subconscious problem that I wish would go away. Argh!
“I had sent you a post a while back too, but I addressed it Mr. Fishy by mistake… (I thought I was making your name sound even more cute and then I realized that you probably wouldn’t read it).”
Thank you. It was a tie between Mr. Fish and Mr. Fishy, so I just went with the latter. How about that?
“I wasn’t sure if you had missed it or not, but in it I answered some of your previous questions to my predicament. I know exactly how you feel when you say that you wish it would stop for once, if your mind and soul could get past the pain of letting go of that someone.”
It really was a great post, and I am grateful that you are doing better. What I do not understand is why we have these emotional frustrations EVEN after the fact that we know that previous life is over. I mean, my ex broke up with me about 1.5 years ago after nearly 4 years together. She then got married about 10 months after we stopped speaking openly to each other. The immediate fallout effect impacted me in January, but I have been climbing out of the hole steadily for about 4 months now. It still is difficult, but I am still holding on for dear life.
“I have rejected a pisces man who I loved and have been rejected from another pisces man that I was potentially in love with.”
Now, with the one that you rejected, how long has it currently been since you two stopped speaking?
As for the one that rejected you, I am sorry. Maybe it wasn’t karm as you said, but perhaps it just wasn’t destined to be.
“Both sides are devastating. And time really does take, but you have to keep moving.”
Absolutely right. It’s a long, slow process but I keep moving. I vent from time to time, and that helps. I also exercise and eat right, plus I am trying to focus on work more.
“I feel like I have been going through a sort of rebirth by staying single for the time being. And when I say staying single I also mean that I have not done the boom boom since that special someone left haha. I am truly learning about myself all over again because really I didn’t ever quite get to know who I was.”
How long have you been single, and it’s good to see you reclaim your life like this. It shows your inner strengths and character to stand on your own, and take care of yourself. Being dependent on someone else for happiness is often a difficult thing to sustain, so it’s nice to see that you are making yourself happy through this independent process.
“See I did gymnastics all of my life and then when I decided to quit at age 16 I met my first love who I spent 6 years devoting myself to. So I basically went from being sheltered to sheltered again. When I broke that off it took less than a year for someone to break my heart…I often wonder if it was only karma smacking me in the face.”
Gymnastics is a healthy way to circulate blood and endorphins, and it’s a liberating feeling when you have control of yourself again to exercise freely. I still maintain that maybe it wasn’t bad karma, just something that you were not pre-destined to be a part of.
“Now that I have had six months to myself I am seeing a light I had not seen before. I am learning to be happy with myself and I too am not ready to be in any kind of relationship.”
Okay, so you have been single for 6 months now, and that’s good. The recovery process usually takes a little longer for water signs since our emotions are damaged heavily when something special is terminated, and any water sign that rapidly rebounds into another relationship is often hurt even worse by not addressing the overwhelming pain from the previous loss.
“I am almost becoming selfish with my alone time haha. I wish I had more to cheer you up with, but I am going through the same misery so it’s not like I can say you will get over it.”
I appreciate you saying that. You know what? I honestly think that James Taylor and Carly Simon are still pretty messed up, even though they have been divorced for 27 years. I really do believe that this Cancer-Pisces bond is so strong that it may even require therapy to get through the pain and sorrow.
“I see myself getting over it each day, but that (spirit) connection is always open whether we want it to be or not. I hope to hear from you again soon and if you didn’t ever get to read my previous post scroll up to May 2nd!”
I am trying to keep in touch at this board since you and other people provide great insight to these unfortunate situations and problems that come with the Cancer-Pisces match.
Mr. Fishy-
Ah, I thought your story sounded familiar……
Seems that we carry flames for these people long after their sell by date has expired.
Why is that?
Why can’t we break an emotional connection to someone that we shouldn’t love?
Grr!
I wish I knew that. I would def share the answer with you and others in our boat!!
I think once in our lives we come across someone who touches us deeply and differently from anyone else. Because of this we want to make it work no matter how irrational that might seem, long after it should have been allowed to die. And when it doesn’t work we want to know why; that makes us hold onto the connection longer that we would otherwise. Love is not logical and true love is even less so.
That is very well said, and equally true.
This is especially true about holding onto a relationship even after it has died.
It’s very irritating because I want the pain and haunting to stop.
The dreams and nightmares are really starting to drive me nuts.
I suppose that is why people often say that love makes them go crazy.
Grrrrr!!!!
EEk…you are having nightmares?? Is that what I have to look forward to? That doesn’t sound good at all.
I seem to be doing better lately than I was last month and especially six months ago but he is still “in” me. And it doesn’t help that I see him at work. I see him passing in the hall, I see him outside. I see him at happy hour. I see the looks he throws my way and that doesn’t help either. I wish I knew what he was thinking; that would help. Sigh….and yes Grrrrr!!!!!
Hmm, I am sorry to hear about all of this constant contact and exposure you have to your ex.
Is it possible for you to transfer to a satellite location within your company? That way, you can start at a new office setting without having to see him all the time. Can you try that?
As for the nightmares, I believe that they are a product of the fallout. Because we shared a deep psychological connection to the point where we could read each other’s minds, I understand what you mean about the other person being “within” your subconscious.
This is where the dreams and nightmares come from.
Removing her from my psyche is akin to removing water from the bloodstream.
It’s really difficult, but it can be done.
Grrrrrrr!!!