Why Scorpio men won’t tell how they feel about you

The initial stage of a relationship is harrowing, especially if you are with an uncommunicative man. You’re falling for him, but he just won’t come out and say how he feels. He’s sticking around, yes … but how do you know it’s not just for sex, or because being with you is better than being alone? You want clarity! And unfortunately, the Scorpio man is not the most divulging guy on the block.

Scorpio is the sign of secrets. This sign is not forthcoming, but for good reason. Scorpio is an emotional water sign, and feels pretty deeply. It may not be obvious, but there’s alot going on inside. The Scorpio man is keenly aware of people’s ability to harm, abuse and manipulate one another. His ruling planet Pluto is the Lord of the Underworld, after all. Scary, dark things happen down there. Unspeakable things. It is better to just keep a lid on it, don’t you think? Otherwise, all the demons will be unleashed, and that’s not a pretty thing.

So, he keeps his feelings close to his chest. Although Scorpio has a rep for being mysterious, he’s only hiding from you because he’s afraid. After all, if he bares his soul to you, who knows how you can use that sensitive information to undermine him? He needs to trust you — implicitly — to give you the keys to his heart. He may indeed love you, but it’s not easy for him to utter the words. Not until he’s made sure they won’t come back and haunt him.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.


  1. ScorpioLover says:

    My Scorpio became emotionally distant after 4 1/2 months of dating. For the last two months, I practically stayed at his house each night. For the last month, he’s been emotionally distant. I wrote him a breakup text explaining that it’s okay if he wants to see others and that I respect that he doesn’t feel the same. He doesn’t kiss me, cuddle with me or anything. The only thing he does is cook dinner for me, serve me the food, call me daily, and invite me over to his house everyday. I stopped going because he momentarily tried to show affectionate but no kidding. We’ve only kissed once in a four month time period. Low and behold, I started noticing random texts late into the night and him getting off the phone quickly. His daily calls decreased to once a day towards the end of the work day. I believe he’s back with his ex of three years. I’m Cancer. In essence, I walked away and in no contact until I get over the feelings of caring about him. I love him and would’ve grown in love within the next two months had he reciprocated. We met on pof. In all honesty, I accept that he’s just not into me and was not willing to be exclusive with me. It hurts but I’ll be okay. Emotional strength and resilience kicking in.

  2. Ive been dating my love a scorpio man on and off for 6 years. Im a Cancer woman. Just stick in there honey. They go through emotional phases. I suggest you read Astro Twins Love Zodiac. Scorpio men are sometimes emotionally distant because they dont want to catch feelings too fast because they are or they want to see if you will chase after them. But Dont. They have to be in control of everything but you have to always be independent and not clingy.Its good you dont call him while hes going through these phases. When you see him drifting away like that let him go when hes ready let him always be the on to get in contact with you first. Make him beg for you sometimes if you can. In the mean time hang out with your friends but dont make him jealous. He needs to know youre loyal and will stand the test of time before he fully gives you his soul. Good luck to you.

  3. Nilanjana Chatterjee says:

    What do I say? I am an Aquarius with Scorpio moon dating a Scorpio man. There has been a lot of distance even when we decided to be together. Though he was far off, he made sure his words made me feel warm and loved all the time. I stayed over a night with him, he took me for a movie and a dinner date, we did a lot of things together (apart from sex), activities we both loved like reading books, watching Harry Potter and even studying together. He made me feel like a princess that day/night. And then after that, BAM! He started pulling away, he stopped saying I love you and merely said me too whenever I said so. Frequency of his texts went down. Sensing the change, I confronted him, to which he said that he was busy with office work and preparing for an exam he wishes to appear for this December. He has been so busy that when I tried asking him about what he feels for me (now that 2 months passed by) and he said that he is confused. I realize I made a mistake asking him so now. But since we took things pretty fast and doing a lot of reading and research I do know that a Scorpio means what he says, but there is always a possibility that he mistook infatuation for love? I am scared to break it to him coz I know how sensitive he is. But what do I do? I have given him the time and space he needs. He can walk out of the relationship if he likes. But I am mentally and emotionally troubled by this. I really feel lost.

  4. I’m Taurus women (4/20/97) he is scorpio (11/7/94). Our relationship started a year ago and we both were just friends with benefits, he was also a friend of mine when I was in highschool. I thought he didn’t like me because we would talk on the phone for a bit and then meet to hook up. One day I decided to ignore him and the next week he called again saying he has feelings for me. I thought he was just being a player because when I talked to him when I was younger, he said he didn’t want a relationship at that time. I never believed him because he wasnt consistent the next day, took forever to reply, or ignored me sometimes. At one point I said I was done with these games and he kept saying give me time, I promise i’ll change, but it was too late. He still contacted me every week but I just ignored him until a month later. I decided to see him and I could tell that he didn’t want to loose me. I decided to give him another try and he was getting better, but he still wasn’t there just yet. A while later he said he was sick of fighting with me and that it’s not like him to be a boyfriend. I was even more in love with him by this point that I told him I won’t do that anymore. He gave it another chance and he also tested me(sending his friends to me, seeing if I fight for him). Out of no where, he started calling and texting me every single day, multiple times. He wanted to see me almost every single day, it was like he had become obsessed with me. Now a month later, he came to me saying I cheated on him at this party and I was confused because I dont remember much if I drink a lot. Apparently I danced and kissed with some guy there, and I know that this is true because I asked other people who were there. He was so upset with me and made me feel really guilty by saying I broke his heart, I was so loyal, i did everything etc. But he told me he knows I wouldnt do that and forgave me. 1 week later, he kept arguing with me and ended up breaking up with me saying he cant stop thinking about it. At first, he was avoiding me completely but would only talk to me if he was drunk and kept saying i would have married you but i have to punish you for this etc. Then we were all at this event and he saw me dance with all my friends in a group, and he started to get mad because a guy was dancing next to me. The next day he went back to completely icing me out. After a month, i called him crying because i was feeling really upset in general with life and he came to see me. we hooked up and talked, and he kept asking if im talking to anyone and that i cant be with anyone else, bascially acting like my boyfriend. Afterwards, he never called. I’ve apologized many times and also poured my heart out to him. I would tell myself not to go to him anymore, and he would come back himself within 1 week saying he wants to see me and all that. Its been 5 months since we broke up and I see him actively but he tells me sometimes that he forgives me but cant forget and other times he tells me he loves me, wants to marry me, have kids with me, and gets jealous and protective of me. I told him i cant be friends with him and he said ok and didnt talk to me for 5 days. he called himself saying that he wants me in his life and that we connect etc. whenever we hang out, we dont do anything physical with each other anymore, so what does he want from me? I feel as if he keeps getting better and then becomes distant if i make him upset. How can I get him back? What can i do? Am i being stung? he tells me that there is no girl in his life. He starts to get really good with me and backs down after a couple of days. Please help.

  5. Scorpio Lover says:

    So, Christine, what happened? What did you discover about him? I’m in an eerie similar situation. What’s the final outcome? Did you find out the truth?

  6. Inlovewithhim says:

    I am Libra woman and I am in love with a Scorpio man since we were 13 we are now 28 ( I know it sucks), we used to be so close when we were in high school and share deep conversations all the time but of course life got in the way, I move away and so did he, I do send him messages but He never seem to engage in a conversation,I know he is particularly busy since He is a Marine and I am in a different country altogether, I don’t think He just sees me that way which hurt but alas I need to move on. Totally one sided love I suppose…

  7. Lalalight says:

    He’s playing a push and pull game with you honey it’s time you let him go and stop talking to him fully don’t waste any more time with this guy and stop hooking up with him and chatting to him you hurt him so he’s mentally hurting you he wants you to suffer don’t be so foolish end it with him change your number email every thing leave him be find a better man because he’s playing games with you don’t waste your time anymore with him people make mistakes you apologized the fact is even when you did he still holds a grudge against you he will never truly forgive you that is why he’s playing you as a fool he probably tells his friends you are one too because you head over heels still loving him wake up honey smell the coffee you are not his property and you deserve a man much better then him if you apologized it’s done don’t say sorry to him anymore as hard as it sounds ignore him and cut him out of your life completely I’m sorry if this sounds mean or harsh or rash but you truly deserve better and if you do meet someone good better then him and he tries to find or slither his way back into your life don’t let it happen the next man you have will treat you like a gem and not toy with you or your emotions and health

    When in an argument with a Scorpio man and he says he loves you have shown you but don’t know what to do anymore does that mean its over,I am a LIBRA I know our compatibility is not great its the worst but I love him..please help

  9. I’m currrntly with a Scorpio, we’ve been dating for a year now and we still are not in a relationship. Grant it he and I don’t see anyone else. He does have his moments where he is withrawn from me. It does hurt and I’m an Aries that needs constant reassurance. But we make it work, I understand he needs his space usually last a week. He just wants to be alone in another room. After that he will come back full force. Cuddle me, kiss me and tells me he loves me and that I should never forget that. He and I met in 5th grade we lost our virginity to each other. I was in a relationship for 11 years and reconnected and have been together ever since. All I know from my experience is that they are highly miss understood, blunt at times but he means well.Honestly it takes great patience to understand him but he’s amazing. Im an Aries so I’m impatient and have to be In control but he does like it when I rebuttal when I have a point he agrees. Again I think in order to make it work let him lead, be patient and you will get what you need from this partner.

  10. I am a female Gemini with a male Scorpio. We’ve had a terrible beginning. But not sure if it was a test or what but the only thing that kept me around was reading about Scorpios. He currently is serving time and it’s been difficult for us both. I told him I’m willing to wait but he’s already anticipating that I’m going to leave him and I should do what’s best for me but know that he will fight for me when he gets out. He’s already said he’s going to marry me on a number of occasions and I visit him and I don’t really give him a reason to think I’m even out there looking for anyone. He contradicts himself saying that if he thought I was out there looking for someone then he would be hurt. The other other day when I left from visiting him he said he was hurt watching me leave. This is definitely a test I believe for both of us for different reasons. His “squirrel-like fear” of opening up to me and me leaving is definitely a Scorpio trait and in this situation he has every right to feel that way. And as a Gemini we are extremely well at communicating how we feel but we will take say something we don’t mean. And I told him if I have to wait for his love then I will. I just want to know I’m not waiting in vain. He says all this stuff but we had such h a rocky beginning and he was so distant because he was going through so much happier and all I could do was be there for him the best way I knew how. I can’t move on from him even if I wanted to. I’m stuck in whatever this is with him. And Geminis can mimic anyone’s sign and feel exactly what they are going through. We get a bad rap for being superficial but that stems from us not really caring about someone. When we care, there’s no superficiality whatsoever. We don’t like living in the depths of emotions and despair but when we love someone enough we will for a while but we have to come up for air and it’s only fair they come with us too. It’s all about balance. But I have to learn to not piss him off with certain things I say. And I’m learning what those are. Because boy does he explode. It’s quite scary actually but I just listen and let him say his peace and then I will from my heart tell him how I feel. I think we will be ok but he’s already told me he wants control. I’m not used to someone being in control of me so this outta be interesting and challenging for both but I can be completely faithful to him. And let him feel as if he is in control. Wish me luck.

  11. Yes, I’m in a relationship with a Scorpio and it’s been on and off for 2 years. I’ve ended it a few times because he didn’t take me seriously but the last time I gave him another shot he went from 0-100. It was so intense I had to back away. I think an underdeveloped Scorpio doesn’t know how to pace themselves. He’s currently in a situation where he’s? finding himself and I’m here waiting for him. I know how much dedication and loyalty mean to a Scorpio so I eat to give him that. I have requirements before I say yes to marriage and he knows this. He’s very intuitive. What you have to remember is to learn what you can from one another’s differences. I’m learning to take things more seriously and he’s learning to lighten up or at least trying to. Geminis can mimic how one feels an their is such a depth to Scorpios that I would never feel on my own. And I can’t get enough of it. His passion in just a hug literally takes my breath away and I’ve never been lifted off my feet like this before. And the only way to truly enjoy and reciprocate his feelings is by being completely exposed and vulnerable. It’s the only path to your own heart.

  12. Yesssss

  13. So, I’m a 28 year old Virgo who broke up with my ex (Sagittarius, not a need to know thing, but felt the need. Lol) of 10 years in February. After another shitty type of relationship for 2 months (with an Aries), I met a Scorpio guy online who is 5 years older than me.
    We hit it off really well, he talked a lot, and about things that matter. I could tell he was intelligent, which I like (I live in Appalachia, and some subjects are just hard to talk about with most guys here, i.e. Politics, feminism, disliking coal. Lol), and he had knowledge and opinions about all of the topics.
    Anyways, we’ve been “talking” for over 2 months. He came and stayed the night with me after about 2 weeks, and we watched tv, talked, and laughed all night.. and he didn’t try anything sexual, but kissed me. He’s also one of those people that looks different every time you look at him, so I couldn’t tell if I really found him attractive, but I love his personality and intelligence. He’s also sarcastic and we banter a lot, which I also REALLY like.
    He then came and stayed with me for 2 nights, nothing sexual happened, but we had a lot of fun and then he took me to meet his family.
    So, we went on a 4 day vacation, played old school Nintendo, scrabble, had debates, and stayed up talking all night. He still didn’t try anything sexual, but told me he wanted to take things slow because all of his past relationships moved quickly and they never worked out, and he actually liked me.
    Well, I told him that if he was still online talking to girls, that he needed to stop talking to me, because I wanted to focus on what we had and see if it could turn into something real…
    So, a few days go by and we hang again (he went with me to look at apartments), and he asked me to stay at his house, so I did… for two days. Again, we had a TON of fun, went bowling, played pool, etc. He told me that every time he hangs with me he has fun and likes that I’m always up to do things.
    So, before we hung out this last time, I creeped (I shouldn’t have, really), but found out he was still using the dating app that we met on and was still talking to girls. i didn’t say anything for the two days I was there, but brought it up the night before I went home while we were laying in bed.
    I told him that I felt like he wasn’t sure of me, or was wanting to keep his options open, and that if that was the case, he needed to quit talking to me. Of course, we haven’t talked about being exclusive, but I feel like if I’m as awesome as he says I am, and wants to really look to trying something, then he should focus on what we’re doing, not on other girls. So, he pretty much just sat there and listened to me, and asked me where it was coming from, and I told him I had been thinking about it for a few days (I didn’t tell him that I knew he was on the app for sure because I couldn’t bring myself to say it…I’m usually always an honest person, but it hurt to say the words aloud).
    I asked him if he had anything he wanted to say, but he said that he was too tired and would tell me the next day… next day came, and he didn’t say anything, so I messaged him and told him that it was going to make me angry. So, he pretty much got offline and didn’t say anything else. The next day (today), he told me he has a lot of stuff going on with his family, so I didn’t press the issue again.
    So, one.. am I wasting my time? (I’m a Virgo -and a psychologist-, so I’m always analyzing, always worrying, and always wondering).
    Two… what’s with keeping that dating app? I mean, I had been with my ex since I was 17, and only recently started dating again… is this how it works nowadays?
    I thought since he was 33, we would be past the game playing phase. I like to tell it like it is, and know where I stand. I don’t feel like I know where I stand at all.
    Three… Could he just be weighing his options before deciding if something else is coming along that’s better?

  14. Also, why would he really hold off on sex after we’ve stayed with each other so much?
    I’m so confused.

  15. I’m an Aries woman and I’ve been knowing this stuff up your man for 10 years we just hooked up last year and it’s been a roller-coaster up and down for the past 7 months one minute he’s into me next minute he’s not we haven’t had sex in over 4 months we don’t have but we do talk all day and we do go out at least once a week I’m at the point where I really don’t know I need help please can anyone out there give me advice

  16. I’ve been involved in a long distance relationship with a Scorpio I have never met for almost a decade. They are driven by intense emotion although appearing playful, aloof, direct. They will retract statements or comments, insecure about your feelings, if you’re not forthcoming–which I wasn’t for years during his disappearing/reappearing acts. It took around five years for me to offer much more than tongue-in-cheek, reciprocated flirting. I believe this laid the foundation for him to develop feelings for me. I am a Leo–ego and pride in place. They are almost immediately sexual. If you don’t understand this can be an expression of something far deeper, it can bring a lot of damage depending on how you respond. He never forgave me for a moment 3 years ago in which he revealed emotions and I denied his requests of self-exposure. But we have continued. And it usually plays out like this: random contact after months and month of nothing, quick, intense emotional and sexual expression that can go on for hours. Then retraction and hiding on his behalf, leaving me wanting for more and frustrated. Our last contract he rehashed old wounds and stung me with his words after an evening of reciprocated candor and eroticism. I’m 38 and have dated a lot of men–even famous men–but nothing compares to this complicated relationship with a man I have never met–yet can physically feel when we communicate. I have just accepted it for what it is-an anomaly. I have to keep moving forward with my life. He is married by the way–it did not stop his obsession.

  17. Fazal Mallorca says:

    I am Scorpio man. I know how I feel about the one I love and how much I love her but I’m scared from inside that how shes going to react and for the world to find that I love her more then my self. But I can’t go up to her and b like I can’t live without you because I’m scared that she get hurt because of. Sorry I can’t explain my feelings I can’t write my feelings in words. ” That’s our curse”.

  18. I am an Aquarius girl who met a Scorpio guy on social media about 10 months ago…I was instantly attracted towards him and within a few months we starting flirting n stuff..we made a plan to meet but he never turned up and said it happened due to miscommunication..after which he said that he wants to have sex with me…I asked him for commitment for which he said let’s go with the flow and see how things work out..we have never met till now but on an emotional level we know everything about each other and he tells me about his whereabouts and discusses everything with me…If I don’t talk to him for 1-2 days then he will ping himself…I don’t know if he has feelings for me..if yes, then what is the harm in expressing those and even if it is a no then also he should clearly tell that to me..or is he simply interested to have sex with me so he is keeping me hanging??

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