Does a "happy" Scorpio male pursue sexual relations outside of his marriage with an ex-flame?

Conflicted Libra asks:

I am a libra female who had a 5 year relationship with a scorpio male. He accused me of cheating on him and ended the relationship. We lost touch for a few years and then I searched him out on one of those class reunion websites. He responded to my e-mail quickly and we have continued e-mail exchanges. Over the last year and a half we have met in person twice and ended up in sleeping together. I have told him on both occassions that I still have feelings for him even 7 years after our breakup and that I truly feel he was the one person who was meant to be for me. His response was that he feels a familiarity but has since moved on and no longer feels the same way he did about me when we were together. While that clearly stings the soul, my question is, what is he pursuing and why would he be pursuing it with me if he wasn’t interested or felt anything for me. Our relationship was very intense, passionate, affectionate, and basically wonderful until the end when the accusations of infidelity arose. Being new in my career, I traveled frequently and he had suspicions that I was cheating on him. We were different then and so it hurts more now than ever, to see him again at this stage of our lives knowing fully well we could have made an ideal couple. I am confused as to why he continues to pursue me when he admitted his marriage to his Capricorn wife has it’s ups and downs, but for the most part he is happy. Does a “happy” Scorpio male pursue sexual relations outside of his marriage with an ex-flame? His actions and words do not make sense to this conflicted and heart broken Libra. Is it, in your opinion given our signs, we will ever reunite permanently? He did confess that it took him over 6 months to get over leaving me but he knew that we were in different stages in our lives, and we needed to go different directions. Recently he did admit that he thinks things could have been different. He is flirtatious, but not affectionate. I believe there has to be some small corner of his heart reserved for me otherwise this wouldn’t be happening. I am not happy in my marriage to my Cancer husband and I am not so sure he is so happy with his Capricorn wife. On top of my questions above, this one weighs on my mind the most. Is committing infidelity on our existing marriages going to impact any potential for a future for us? I know he’s got trust issues, but if I feel like I am under a spell when I’m with him and I can’t say no to my heart or to his sexual proposals. Can you please help me figure this out?

You mention that you “still have feelings for him even 7 years after [y]our breakup.” Saturn has a quarter cycle every seven years, in which it moves 90 degrees around the zodiac. I wonder if he left you when Saturn was making a difficult transit to love planets or points in either (or both) of your natal charts. The serious inquiry required by a Saturn transit can lead to an ending or a deeper commitment. Seven years later, these themes surrounding your breakup are re-appearing.

The Scorpio man can intensely connect with a lover, or he can use the power of manipulation to get his way. Of course, he can linger anywhere in between these extremes, but Scorpio does tend to be black-and-white in these matters. Your ex may have a small corner of his heart reserved for you, but what is a small corner worth? Will it buy you a ticket on the Love Express? If he is flirtatious but not affectionate — and one doesn’t need to be an astrologer to say this — he may just be having sex with you because he can get you into bed. He may not be thrilled with his marriage, but also not feel any need to leave his wife, either.

The other option is that he is exploring the possibility of a relationship with you, but is hiding his love to protect himself. If just the thought of your infidelity seven years ago was enough for him to end the relationship, he’s sensitive to betrayal.

Which leads to the question, “Is committing infidelity on our existing marriages going to impact any potential for a future for us?” I’m just being logical here: If Scorpio breaks up with a woman because he thinks she is cheating, and seven years later he cheats on his wife with that woman, who is cheating on her husband … no, I can’t do the math! For one, the double-standard (he can cheat, but probably wouldn’t tolerate his wife’s infidelity) is not an admirable quality. Second, if he is a possessive Scorpio, why would he get emotionally involved with you if he knows you are capable of cheating on your husband? This line of reasoning makes it doubtful that he’s reserved more than a small corner of his heart for you.

Add your two cents in the comments section, or ask a question.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at


  1. HappyScorpwhodoesntfooldaround says:

    I’d say this is a bad situation all around. I think the writer needs to focus on herself and why she would want this type of man, regardless of sign.

  2. proserpine says:

    Libra lady–I’m a Libra too.I’ve been in these situations, not with Scorpios, but same kind of situation.
    Usually the man involved did feel something for me–but had no intention of going further with it.
    If he cheats on his wife, then he will cheat on you too, I found.
    And you–while you may not be the type to cheat easily–you are likely to have a problem with intimacy too–since you are unfaithful to your husband.
    I didn’t think it was true of me–but it was–and still could be, if I hadn’t wanted to change.
    There’s nothing wrong with telling this man that you’re not into causal flings, and don’t like cheating or helping him cheat.
    I may sound like I’m criticizng you–and I felt the same way when people told me the same thing.
    But it was true–I was not available emotionally, and anyone I met while married was not either–he was looking to avoid something in his own life..
    It doesn’t mean Scorpio doesn’t care about you–but he’s doing what he feels like doing–right now.
    I know as a Libra, you probably enjoyed being single, and seeing many people–but,I’ll bet you’re too fair to be involved in something like this for long.
    Be kinder to yourself.

  3. I am a scorpio female myself…dealing with a scorpio male, and reading about your situation…i can totally relate…

    When i say relate, i dont mean to your EXACT situation (because i am not married, and neither is he), but i can relate to the problems you have with trying to figure out the root of your scorpio’s actions.

    I can relate to you when you say that his words and actions dont make sense to you.

    What i can offer is some excerpts from an astrology book that i love…and in reading about scorpio males, it has given me a clearer idea on these CRAZY guys! LOL

    “His nature is governed by his desires, and to satisfy them, he will accept any challenge, confront any obstacle. Nor will he reckon the consequences. Let others label him a heartless Don Juan; their opinions will not inhibit his heartless search for sexual adventure.”

    “Those born under this sign can be cunning, selfish and unscrupulous, and these traits are in evidence when they look for sexual adventure. In their views, passion is a law unto itself. Among Scorpio you find the most reckless sex fiends, the most insatiable copulators. They strive for mastery, for complete control over the libido and the emotions.”

    Sexual Astrology by Joanna Woolfolk

    I chose these excerpts because it kind of explains how a scorpio male is totally driven by sex. Yes, he may have feelings for you, but as far as you two having sex…thats where it ends. SEX.

    Scorpio males are ruled by his desires, and he sure knows how to manipulate to get them. His manipulation is kind of heartless to the extent that his only concern is fufilling his sexual need, with no concern of the emotional consequences you face…

    He is definately still sexually attracted to you…if not, he wouldnt be able to have sex with you…he might even have feelings for you, but sadly (speaking as a scorpio) once we suspect someone of cheating…our view of them is somewhat tainted…and we hold on to that.

    Scorpio connections are so deep that they leave you longing to be with them…but honestly, scorpios (especially males) are selfish. They say things to manipulate and their actions are telling…

    Just cut it off.

    Hope that helped 🙂

  4. Anonymous says:

    My wife has been involved with a married Scorpion. He is rich. He eyed on her more than 7 years before and finally succeeded.
    My spouse is willing to end her 32 years marriage for him. They are regularly having sex. I really do not know how to handle this situation. As far as my wife is concerned, this is her 8th or 9th affair outside marriage. She is also involved with a Leo who is married with two grown up children. She is unconcerned about the adverse effect of this and other relationships on the marriage and the children who are married. My wife is Piscean and I am a Gemini. Could some one help me. I am fully aware that a divorce is not in the best interest of the family.

  5. proserpine says:

    Anonymous wiht the wife involved wiht a Scorpio–I’m very sorry to hear of your troubles.
    The biggest trouble is that as far as you describe it, your wife doesnt see the trouble!
    I agree it is a mess, and is a problem.
    My personal opinion–She will not be happy wherever she goes and wiht whomever.
    But, unless she sees it as a problem, what can you do?
    I would tell her she needs to get help, and you’ll not settle for this craziness anymmore.
    I don’t know if theres things in your marriage she has complained about? but if neither of you can get together to get help, then it doesn’t matter.
    You both need to agree you want the marriage not just one of you.
    She may be a sex and love addict too.
    You yourself can get help wiht a program for the families of such people.[S-Anon, CoSA].Information is available on the internet.
    Stand up for yourself–it *does* make a difference.
    Even if you still love her, and want to forgive her–doesn’t mean you should permit yourself to be walked on at the same time.
    I wish I could say something better-I’ve have known first hand this kind of heartache, and pain, and it’s not pretty.
    Get support and help for yourself, and I hope one day she sees the need for herself too.
    Take care.

  6. dear anonymous Gemini husband financially supporting Pisces nympho wife

    “Could some one help me. I am fully aware that a divorce is not in the best interest of the family”


    either divorce the skank or make her get a job so she’s too busy to have affairs

    you shouldn’t put up with this, not from a woman– she keeps it up because you allow it, and she’s got too much time on her hands

  7. Anonymous says:

    I am scropio. I didnt belive in this horoscope jazz. Now i do.I can tell you if he thinks you cheated on him it’s over for good. He might want to get in your pants one more time for his selfish reasons, but trust me he is done. I am ending my 10 year marriage for emotional affair. I have been faitfull all these years even though i had planty of opportunities to be unfaithful all i can say i was stupid. If you date or marry scorpio don’t even look like you are cheating. I hope that helps.

  8. MissScorpion says:

    “I know he’s got trust issues, but if I feel like I am under a spell when I’m with him and I can’t say no to my heart or to his sexual proposals.”

    yeah once you lose a scorpio’s trust it’s gone for good. however we’re extremely loyal and remain emotionally attached forever, even to someone who’s hurt us. alot of times i’ll use exes for sex out of convienence and because it gives me a little high bein able to manipulate someone who wronged me, makin them want me then tossin them aside. doesn’t sound like he’s goin to leave his wife, the only guy i’ve ever cheated on happened to be a capricorn who smothered me and drove me nuts but i didn’t have the heart to hurt him. sneakin around and findin happiness else where was easier on me. you’re this married scorpio’s else where.

  9. I just wanted to say that this post totally gave me a wake up call! 🙂

    There was this Scorpio guy that I had known for years, I’m a Scorpio female, and we were friends and then things started to go sour. I was engaged at the time so we never got together, even though he kept saying how much he “cared about me” and “wanted to be with me”, and then fast forward a couple of years and he’s engaged and we started having this bizarre and violent bdsm affair. She found out and then all the people we knew also knew about it and it was very awkward. We fight and don’t speak for months and then out of the blue we speak again and have sex and I had been really confused.

    As a Scorpio (my rising sign is actually Scorpio as well), I share the same quality to manipulate others to get what I want, so we both were manipulating each other to get kinky sex, but out of the both of us I was the only person to still kind of have feelings for the other. I don’t really love him per se but I am kind of attracted to him so I guess I always had this stupid hope that something would happen but I know that’s not true.

    This post has really helped me to realize that because even though Scorpios are very sexually inclined we are also one of the most loyal and faithful signs of the zodiac, so if he cheated on his girlfriend with me then that obviously shows that he thinks of me only as a sex object. And also, even though he cheated on his girlfriend, when they were together he treated her so well and always made concessions for her (atleast it seemed that way from the outside) so that obviously means that he doesn’t see me that way.

    I don’t really see him that way anymore but there was still these lingering “feelings” I hadn’t dealt with but this post really made it clear for me to understand!

    Thank You!

  10. MissScorpion says:

    oh wow you jus made me start to analyze a longtime relation i have with a Scorpio guy. we dated briefly 5 or 6yrs ago but things fell appart due his crazy ex stalkin us and startin fights whenever she’d see me. everytime he’d calm me down and promise he’d talk to her about it and give the excuse that he wanted to remain on goodterms cause they were together all high school(the part of me that still had/has feelings for my h.s. ex sympathized with him there). but it got so outta my control that i had to let him go…sorta… he’s gotten back together with her several dozen times over the years despite her cheatin and makin him look like an ass to his friends and family. annnd him and i still have occasional rendezvous. once upon a time i had wanted things to work out with us but whatev, this whole using eachother thing works lol

  11. stephanie028 says:

    My scumb bag ex husband used to constantly accuse ME of cheating on him, just to justify the fact he was cheating on me.. and i would guess thats what your scorpio done to you…OBVIOUSLY his actions NOW proves he is a cheater… look at what he is doing to his wife. why would you even want to be with him?

  12. Its true that once a scorpio is betrayed he will never trust you again! I was involved with a married capricorn in the past and with time i realised that i have made a mistake. I tried to get into a relationship with a scorpio while at the same time i had to handle the capricorn who was deadly depressed because i was leaving him. i started seeing the scopio man and i quickly got attracted to him! He was also liking me! but then one day the capricorn guy who never accepted the fact that i had left him phoned the scopio man and told him everything about our past affair! the scorpio man then left me because i lied to him about my past and beacuse i was still meeting the capricorn man without his knowledge! What he didnt understand was that i wanted to help my ex as a friend to get out of depression. But the scorpio would not understand that. it was so painful! i longed for him for a while and quickly i realised that there was no way he would come back to me! he did come back but only for manipulating me to get into his bed! i was sharp in mind enough to realise that so i never gave him the occasion to sleep with me even though i wanted to make love so much with him. Now i am married and i thank myself for not having waited for him and wasted my time and dignity! for all those who are desperate with scorpios waiting for them to return i would advise you to save your dignity and move on.

  13. MissScorpion says:

    ohhh geeez… i’ve dealt with the overly needy, depressed, manic Capricorn before!!! worst relationship ever!!! i ended our physical relationship by tellin him i had a ovarian cyst and sex was too painful but it was months before i could emotionally detatch him from me… are they all such headcases!?!?!?

    usually if a Scorp “forgives” it’s to serve our own need. whether it’s to toy with your emotions before we sting you or to be able to smirk at that person you left us for knowin we still control you; it’s all about revenge.

    however, there is that blindly loyal side to us. and if i really truly care about someone i can forgive a few slip ups and i’ll work like hell to make them mine again. we play for keeps. if your Scorpio had really cared about your relationship you’d be with him now.

  14. yea you are right! Real headcases! You are right. Perhaps i didnt deserve the scorpios trust! But i still believe that i never made a mistake because i think that i was not accountable to him for all the things i did in my past. i think that its me who decides what i want or do not want to disclose things about my life. Besides i was not committed to the scorpio so there was no point in telling him everything about me! Anyway its over (before it started). Now am married to a gemini! and this is a very stimulating relationship in the sense that we are always pissing off each other. but we are good friends and when we are not in good terms we try to make peace because of that friendship.

  15. I think you should grow some brains…he’s married, and obviously moved on, he’s only using you for sex, and your easy because you are obssessed about something that happened 7 years ago…theres a world out there, live and enjoy! but unfortunately for you, you prefer to die in a memory that once was…you’re a grown woman-.seriously!

  16. Yeah, I somewhat agree to this. but you guys dont understand the scorpio guys fully yet.

    Remember that a scorpio guy can always expects faithfulness. You cannot even act or joke about infidelity. There can be times when he’d make you go mad and ask you if you are being faithful, twice as many as times he asks, you are supposed to say you are HIS.. and everything you have belongs to him with a kiss. He’d learn and eventually get fine. Once that happens, he’ll never let you go.

    One thing for sure is that if you think you are not accountable for your past… or something that you might not want to say, don’t get married to a Scorpio guy.. they believe in 100% commitment. Some call it interference and some call it very connected (married) souls. They really become ONE.

  17. Scorpio men are the Master Manipulators, no matter how good of a woman and how strong you think you are, they will use gifts, vacations you name it just to get into your pants. Scorpios are Heartless boys in a mans body. What’s so surprising if you read the sign personality it says they are deep and sensitive. They will never leave their wife because they are too weak to let go and hate change.

  18. Scorpio men are usually faithful, but will cheat if they’re unhappy and don’t get enough sex!

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