What does an Aquarian girl got to do to get her Cancer man back?

An Aquarius writes about her Cancer man:

He trusted me so much and used to share all his personal stuff with me. He was a little open to his female friends, and I felt insecure about that. I felt that he was cheating on me. I ended up crying before his friends, and ended up telling them our personal things. Not once but twice I did so, and broke his trust. Now he is so angry with me. He told me he can’t forgive me so easily. So we will remain friends from now on. I really love him and want him back so badly. I feel very bad for what I have done. How can I get him back? [edited for clarity]

Dear Aquarius,

Two things you must understand:

1) Cancer is ruled by the Moon, and the Moon symbolizes women. A Cancer man feels comfortable with female friends, and he is unlikely to cheat on you with them, because he is so focused on emotional security and the importance of family values. (Or, do you feel he was emotionally unfaithful to you? He’s look for caring and comfort from his friends — not charged intimacy that is all but consummated.)

2) He was a little open with his female friends because, once again, security is paramount to Cancer. He needs to feel safe if he is going to expose his soft underbelly. Obviously, he trusted you enough to share his innermost secrets. To then have them spilled can feel like a massive betrayal, so he has now retreated into his shell. Your Cancer ex will continue a friendship with you, but you won’t easily get past his defenses this time.

If you want him back, you will have to be patient. He will occasionally retreat from his bunker to see if the coast is clear, and you will have to prove over and over that you’re friendly territory. Perhaps state secrets are not so important to collective-minded Aquarius, but Cancer is more likely to feel vulnerable than the Water Bearer when classified information is released to the public.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.


  1. ya i know that i have to be patient and bring back the trust in him.but now if ever he talks to me he talks like he is not interested.I am ready to wait patiently coz i really love him.please help me with what can be done.please

  2. Blah Blah says:

    I’m a Cancer female who just broke up with my Aquarius boyfriend. Honestly, there’s no instant fix for revealing a Cancer’s secrets not once, but twice! In my book, we wouldn’t even be friends anymore, so at least you have that.

    It’s a good thing you’re ready to be patient, because it’s going to take a lot of patience to “win” back your Cancer’s trust. (He probably still loves you, but doesnn’t trust you anymore and, with Cancer, trust is harder to build than love).

    Good luck, Ms. Aquarius!

  3. Anonymous says:

    My best friend is an aquarius female with a libra moon, and her boyfriend recently dumped her. He’s a taurus with a gemini moon and a cancer ascending. So he’s been pretty open to get back together, but she kept breaking his trust with her unfaithful behavior. His intuition would often send off warning signals, but he would come up with excuses for these feelings. Like if he felt something was going on, he would contribute this to her being ‘stressed’ and unable to communicate well in the moment. But she’s no fool.

    She’s been taking the break up pretty hard, but decided that it wouldnt have worked out in the long run. My boyfriend has a cancer moon and I a scorpio moon. The best way Ive learned to get them to stop being crabby or closing up is to just be caring. Watch for signals. If he stops talking he probably feels rejected, and an aquarius wouldnt be able to pick up on these emotional undercurrents so well or quickly. Good luck!

  4. Aquariangirl08 says:

    Okay I am an Aquarius and my boyfriend is a cancer and we have been going out for a yr and some mnths. In the beginning of our relationship it was a MESS i was so unhappy he was but i couldnt leave him alone completely I got to the point where I was doing everything in the relationship so I was like why should I be the only on making the effort so I cheated which is really bad because i was a virgin before we met and he decided to wait for me but i cheated and gave it to another well then he forgave me after a BIG arguement and he took me back and I continued to remain friends with the boy i cheated with but only friends I explained to him about my boyfriend and he was okay with that so we were FRIENDS well he called one day and my boyfriend answered the phone and words were said and now he broke up with me. I want him back SO BADLY!!! Because I wasnt doing anything wrong and being an aquarius I was just gettin the hang of the whole relationship one on one thing showing feelings and I dont want him to end us. When we talk i can tell he still wants to be with me he’s just hurt what can I do to assure him of my love.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Hello Guys and Gals, I am Cancer with all same nature as above mentioned, i m love with aqua girl from Child hood, first of all we can talk face to face each other due to some family problems, i love her too much, we talk many of hours in a day, she is my first love and my last love, sometimes i forgive her cuz i care for her too much, now i am enjoying my love afair with her! Only i have notice one thing in aqua girl, she is too patient! why……….

  6. i am an aquarius girl and have a cancer guy as a lover. we have a real solid friendship based on a strong emotional and spiritual level. problem is, he wanted to make it exclusive and wanted to settle down and i refused. well he told me he would not give up that easy because he never met someone he can relate to so well. i really wanted to but we both just got out of long term relationships. he said i am afraid of committment. but its not that. i think he is still in love with his ex because he is still so open with her. whenever she need a ride, or even to use his car he allows it. i cant stand it, but because of this i have my guard up because i dont want to get hurt. i am insecure about his openess with her and believe he will hurt me so i’ve come across like i dont care. now he believes i am being dishonest about things and i think he dont trust me anymore.

  7. I am a true cancer man to the T of all descriptions you’ll find. My wife, a die hard aqaurius. She has majestic eyes, broad shoulders, and she needs NO ONE to do ANYTHING for her. She is independent, reserved, distant, “aloof” and not very intamate or personal with me. I deal with it, becuse I am such a cancer man that my nature is to love and to respect her and to nurture what her needs are.

    Here’s what you do Aqaurius woman – If you want to win back your cancer man be honest with him. True, blatant, honesty with a sincere tone is the only way to reach a cancer man. Instead of performing the traditional aqaurian acrobatic wordplay and story telling where you use your intillect to derive this approach or master plan to winning back you man – just sit and talk. Perhaps touch his hands, shoulder, look into his eyes, and plead your case. BE the cuddly wuddly sugar bear that he needs and you must mean it – or you are in the wrong game anyway. Don’t make things that they aren’t. Don’t hide things to protect him. Don’t cover things because of “the way he reacts.” Just be real. Be you. If you lie to get him back, bend reality, stretch the truth, or all out balls to the wall falsify your plead and he finds out later – his hatret will flare almost as deeply as did his care and love.

    In order, and if ever, a cancer man and aqaurius woman relationship will work you must understand that we need some reassurance, okay – quite a bit of reassurance. We need you to take the time to show us that you care more often than once. We need softness at times, cuddling at times.

    CANCER MAN – if you stumbled upon this you have to realize that FRIENDS are just friends to the aqaurius woman. Guy friends most likely. Her privacy is just that, her privacy – respect it. Her life is her life and under no circumstance will it ever be a co-joined union in which the two of you leave what you had for what the two of you will have. She can do her thing and still be faitfull to you, and enjoy a life with you.

    She doesn;t always want you to go where she is planning to go. She enjoys these excursions alone. Let her go! She’ll be back and if you don;t whine about how much she doesn;t care about you and how she leaves you alone all of the time, she will come back to you with much more passion, much mkore excitement, much more fire in her eyes, and much more respect for you. COme on Man, you are a cancerian!!! Use the free time to do all the little things you’ve been neglecting since you stuck your head up your aqaurius friends behind. She needs time away from you to do her socializing, planning, resting (yes they need much sleep.) She needs to be allowed to live in her head, at her friends house, or at the drafting table for saving the world. Go clean the living room or plan something to do with the children. As long as you show her that you can be trusted, prior, go hang out with your friends (which are most likely women.) she’ll be cool with it as long as you don’t always compare her to them, or always talk about them. Listen cancer man, and don’t critique.

    Good luck.

  8. Anthony, you are a freaking genius.

  9. “Hello Guys and Gals, I am Cancer with all same nature as above mentioned, i m love with aqua girl from Child hood, first of all we can talk face to face each other due to some family problems, i love her too much, we talk many of hours in a day, she is my first love and my last love, sometimes i forgive her cuz i care for her too much, now i am enjoying my love afair with her! Only i have notice one thing in aqua girl, she is too patient! why……….”

    Aquarian girls have lots of patience because they dont feel much emotionally. About she being your last love, I sincerely hope it does. My first love too was an Aquarian but she cheated on me(checkout the Aquarian girls cheating discussions, its really interesting). All I am saying is be on alert and protect that soft Cancerian heart….yours sincerest cancerian, Xander

  10. Anthony, well put!

  11. cancerguy24 says:

    aquariangirl08 , If you want him back , this is what you do. You forget the other guy. how can you expect a cancer guy to understand you wanting to remain friends with the guy you cheated on him with and let take ur virginity. Then , you need to earn his trust back , which after cheating on him will take time. be straight up with him , and tell him how you feel. then , give him time.

  12. Heyyy well im kinda new to this so i didnt know where to write my question exactly, but this post relates to my situation.

    Im a Sun in Leo, Pieces Moon and Rising, Cancer in Venus and Taurus in Mars. I like this one guy who ive know for 4 years now and we were good friend first and after 3 years we started going out. His sun is in Aries and his moon, venus and mars in Aquarius. It was going well, but unfortunately one of my friends told me a rumor that caused me to dump him horrifically through a text message. I later on found out that the rumor wasn’t true and i felt horrible. So i apologized and he didn’t want to get together because he didnt like the fact that i trusted my friend over him and he was really hurt. So i began getting all emotional like my pieces moon and cancer in venus. But he still would not take me back he only wanted to be friends. so i decided to move on with another guy and after a while, my ex responded weirdly by wanting to hang out more. So obviously i dumped the new guy i was with and talked with my ex again. He asked me to hang out with his friends a couple times and he even kissed me, and hold my hand, and i was just shocked, and REALLY confused as to what he wanted with me. So i dont know whether he was just being that flirtatious Aquarius or still has feelings for me, but doesn’t want a commitment yet? please help any advice would be appreciated

    thanks =]

  13. Cancerian guys love to be apologized to, they do most of the apologizing in their lives and once someone tells them “Im sorry, I was wrong” they feel so vindicated. Another thing they LOVE and really LOVE is when they feel appreciated. If you can still find a way to make him feel that you love him, miss him, NEED him, (thats a big one for him)then he will miss you so much he wont care about being mad anymore. (They cant stay mad when someone is genuine, they just cant)

  14. AqUArIUs126 says:

    There was this Cancer male that I had my eye on since middle school and thru high school, he was 2 years older than me so we weren’t in any of the same classes together, we never talked just eye contact and flirting in the halls in between classes. We even had mutual friends but no matter how hard I tried… fate has her own timing. I couldn’t find him anywhere my jr or sr year. I graduated and got into a serious relationship with a capricorn man and then 3 years later got an office/human resources job with this trucking company. About 3 weeks into the job I come across his file… HE WORKED THERE TOO! Although I tried, I couldn’t find a way to interact with the drivers and I still had the capricorn in my life. And once again fate put us on hold. Forwarding to 4 years into this company, the top HR lady asked me if I knew him because she noticed we both attended the same h.s. when i told her i knew him, she told me he just got married. My stomach dropped. I couldn’t figure out why did my stomach drop when we never even spoke to each other. Around the same time the capricorn cheated on me and we were done. Cancer man left the company only to return about 2 years ago. New management took over and they made him a manager… AT LAST… WE SPEAK! At first we played it professional but then he found me out at a club one weekend and we’ve been talking since. We finally broke the ice about h.s and about working at the same company for so long. We talked for months and even have talked about having children together but we never went further than kissing,even though we both knew it was wrong because he is still married. He talked about how his wife doesn’t appreciate him and that they got married for all the wrong reasons. They don’t have children together. So he attempted to file for divorce and she was so against it the attorney suggested counseling. He told me that in counseling she has agreed to anything he wants and even offered to take him away on vacation. So upon telling me this… my stomach dropped again and I wished him success in his marriage and I attempted to leave. He told me he doesn’t want to stop being my friend and that things are gonna change …but I told him that it’s obvious we can’t resist each other so truthfully we can’t be friends. So that was 2 months ago and I miss him terribly now! What should I do? How can I feel like I’ve just lost my soulmate? 🙁

  15. I am an aquarius and met a cancer man who was extremely into me as I found out once he finally admitted it to me. We hit it off right away and he professed his love shortly after to me and my mom. His friends and family knew how he felt long before I did! I fell for him too of course. He is a great guy. Unfortunately he had lost his job and was feeling very down on himself. I was there for him and very supportive. I made it clear that I wasn’t going to leave just because he couldn’t take me out. Well, long story short, he started pulling away and eventually broke up with me saying he didn’t feel the same anymore. We were only dating a few months and I don’t understand what happened. He went from saying he never felt that way about anyone before(even in his two 5 year relationships) to saying he made a mistake and didn’t feel anything at all. Now he treats me like an acquaintance that doesn’t mean much to him. Any idea what might have happened? Any chance he will change his mind again? I really miss him and still hope we will get back together. I really don’t know what happened. I think I was a great girlfriend to him. Is that typical of a cancer man to change is mind so drastically about love?

  16. Hi Aqua10,

    I am not really sure about the “I think I was a great girlfriend to him” part. Obviously cancerians don’t abandon their true love when things are down (at least not the real ones). You must have shocked the hell out of him in someway. I know my Aquarian ex did. I am doing the exact same thing that your guys is doing. Treating my ex like an acquaintance (can avoid her since she is now my boss, I decided to break it off long before she became the boss of me). I guess he was expecting some kind of emotional support from you that he didn’t get and so he’s thinking that being with you may not be a good idea. Give him the credit, he being cautious.


  17. hi aquarius ladies need some advice iam seeing an aquqrius girl whom i went to school with and is ma best mates sister prob is we were seeing each other for three months she has a 4 year old girl i love to bits i know she is independant type which attracted me to her among other things iam to .the thing is i dont mind her doing her thing its having never been a dad i got scared she would be thinking well its saturday am golfing you dont give a shit about girl now you have something better to which aint the case so only seen her on a saturday anyway so i thought only natural i spend time with them but all of a sudden pressure from her job and get a tx saying not up for talkiing just now which was six weeks ago she has txt and said not ignoring you but the reality is she is iam in limbo i have given her space but she wont tell me whats wrong do i just put hands up and give in

  18. I am an Aquarius woman in a relationship with Cancer Man. Let me say this to all Aquarius people. This is my second cancer relationship. One thing I’ve learned is not to allow them to have a double standard. What I mean is they do not define what is loyal or faithful. Cancer men tend to want you to be considerate of their feelings and emotions- but those ground rules need not apply to them. What I mean is, if they are hurt, they punish you with passive aggressive techniques. And you must work feverishly to get back into their good graces. If they do something to you, they expect you to understand. One thing Aquarians have is a forgiving way about them. They do not hold feelings, nor do they make a big deal about mistakes made. Cancers need to get over themselves and practice having a forgiving personality. Cancers are not the only people who know how to be faithful and loyal. Aquarians just express that in a different manner.

  19. aquarigirll says:

    i’m an aquarius girl and i was dating a cancer man. we broke up because he cheated on me and we didn’t talk for almost 5-6 months. in be tween that i made a horrible decision and got herpes. he then tried talking to me again and proved himself that hes trustworthy. i waited until i knew he was to tell him about what had happened, but i made a mistake of sleeping with him. BUT it was with a condom and we did NOT do anything to risk him from getting anything. but still i feel horrible for even being selfish and putting him at risk. i ifnaly told him and he was furious and said he couldn’t trust me. its bee 3 months and we’re just “friends” that never talk. idk what to do, i wish i didn’t have this std if not i wouldve been with him. help anyone on what to do to get him back?

  20. Hi Aquarigirll

    I am sorry to hear you have contracted this std and the person whom gave it to you has
    a lot to answer for although the damage has been done and you have been placed in a
    predicament where it affects any future relationships you may have because when you
    do the “RIGHT THING” and tell them it will most probably “FRIGHTEN” them.???

    I do not mean to add insult to injury but you really should have told this Man prior to going
    to bed with him so that he could have made a conscious decision of whether he was willing
    to take the risk since condoms are not 100% effective although you did the right thing by
    using one and taking his health into consideration.

    From what I have read it is not like HIV and it is not life threatening but it causes sores and
    weakens your immune system if left untreated and one girl said that she took this medication
    and she is now free of the disease so I don’t know but what did your doctor say and are you
    currently being treated for this condition.???

    As for getting him back it is a long shot at best but you could try and explain the situation about
    where things stand with your treatment at the present time and also what you have said here
    about him cheating on you and you making this terrible mistake which you now regret and that
    if you could change things you would but unfortunately you can’t and really want to work things
    out between you by forgiving each other due to the fact that you are both guilty of having sex
    with other people regardless the fact that you have had the misfortune of contracting this std.

    Think about it and let me know what you think.? Taurus

  21. Im an aqua woman I first met this cancer man when he was with my cousin 13 years ago they split not long after having a child, ten years on we met at a family party exchanged a few words but he watched me all evening at the end of the night he ran some of us home me being one of the first an hour later he knocked at my door with a big smile we sat for hours talking about things we had done with our lives I felt so comfortable with him and then he kissed me one of the most passionate kisses ive ever experienced no sex when I woke he was gone but later that day I found a note saying he hoped I wouldn’t leave it another 13yrs til we met again to cut a long story short we began to see each other secretly without family members knowing this went on for three month on two occasions I told him I couldn’t carry on seeing him without my cousin knowing i tried telling her on different occasions but each time she would speak of him ( she was still in love with him after all these years) I couldn’t do it… but I didn’t have to somebody did it for us my cancer man said he would come with me to see her, he asked what would happen with us and maybe it would be better in the open and we could take our relationship to the next level and how much he liked me and wanted to be with me… once the family knew I again ended it with him 3 weeks ago I deeply regret this ive missed him so much when I told him this he said it may not of worked anyway because of the situation, we have text on the odd occasion and kept the conversation platonic and polite he removed the kisses of his texts to only one then after a week he texts to tel me he had had his pool table covered and I should come up for a game with two kisses lol my question is do you think this man still wants me or from what I have been reading just a friendship from me I don’t want to go and be craving him to touch me when he may just want to talk pool no day has been set yet just that he would contact me please advise

  22. Hi Jane

    I don’t think this Guy is looking for a “Pool Buddy” if you get my drift and
    the only way you will be able to establish where this interaction is heading
    in the future is by attending this get together and see what is installed.???

    And what ever you do just don’t involve or talk about this cousin and your
    relatives because it has nothing to do with them what so ever especially
    since your cousin had broken it off with him and they are not together so
    keep this on a personal level amongst yourselves and leave third parties
    out of it where they belong. This is just between you and him so keep it
    that way if you want this to go to the level of intimacy.!!!

    Good luck with it and keep me posted of the outcome. Taurus

  23. abhishek Ghosh says:

    srry cant do that lady! iam a cancer man and i practiced a lot to forgive others but we simply just cant! srry but its in our nature!

  24. abhishek Ghosh says:

    it is over lady! he will feel better if you get lost from his life! even if you successfully convince him and get him back it will never be the same! he will breakup with you again at some point!
    90% chance he will never come back to you!
    i can say it because iam also a cancer!

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