How to know when a Scorpio doesn’t love you

ScorpioA Scorpio can be cruel to those he loves, so how do you know when he doesn’t love you?

Scorpios can be secretive and manipulative, but they can also be intensely intimate and devoted. Why would they bother hurting someone they didn’t care about? If a Scorpio is seething in resentment, he is still attached to the target of his anger. You can still be emotionally connected to someone without loving them, but if a Scorpio is going to let you in, he’s likely to “love” you in some way; he trusts you enough, after all, to give you access to his inner sanctum. Perhaps Scorpio is confusing “love” with “trust,” but any Water sign feels loving in a safe relationship.

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About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at


  1. I’m an Aries-Taurus & reading all these responses have made me quite reflective. Regardless of your sign no one deserves to be put through tests, lied to, mistreated and above all disrespected. Its so hard in this life as is. Every last woman on this forum that has given 100% deserves 150% back. Mistreating another to feed your insecurity is pathetic. You shouldn’t have to fight nor defend yourself for loving someone! Real love grows through good & bad times not through personal attacks. Walk away especially if they don’t appreciate the kindness you’ve shown. There’s too many opportunities out here. I have female Scorpios that are good friends, my mother was a Scorp, my first born Scorp, all my nieces Scorp & I’ve dated several Scorpio men. Currently I’ve walked away from one for the reasons stated above “games, control issues, insecurity & being spiteful for a reaction or show of emotion.” I survived HELL & BACK stopped dating for 16 months to work on me. Mr. Scorpio started out ok. We were playful, don’t mind giving each other space etc. Came back from a trip out of town had great sex & then he flipped out on me 230AM. All I heard was “I hate being misunderstood, I’ve worked 12 hours tired, I don’t like to be touched or kissed etc.” After the fact. Just ranting…a thought if there was a problem there are 24 hrs out of a day. Minus 12 you work. 8 for rest. Minimum 30 minutes to have a heartfelt discussion on what’s wrong. I opened the door wished him a good night hope you get rest. One day he may make a wonderful partner for someone. I need someone patient. Kind with a good sense of humor who will be loyal & communicate with me. Disappointing but its ok….he was not for me.

  2. Hi Cory,
    You make great sense. Everyone here should really read what you have written on your dating experience with Mr. Scorpio.
    I have one good question for you, please, how on earth, truely did you get rid of him? God I have tried everything including the law but I can’t get rid of the Mr.Insect!

  3. AriesWoman123 says:

    I am reeling from the behavior of a Scorp male as well. I am an Aries female, I always have many guys after me, even some women come after me, I am not kidding. I am told I am stunning, I hold a very well paid job, very successful etc. I hav been hurt by a cancer man before who constantly cheated on me, and I had no idea! I was always honest, direct and 100% faithful, I am the typical Aries female, big hearted, generous, direct and not capable of deceit. After I was done with my cancer cheater with whom I was in a relationship for TEN years, I met this Scorp. I also never took astrology seriously, but I have started reading about this recently and I turn out to be the typical Aries female, and thus Scorp guy turns out to be the typical Scorp male! I am hooked on this! May be there is something to this astrology after all.
    So, this Scorp guy, I was his boss in my previous job! He came after me hard, I mean super super concentrated effort to get me. I was totally out of keague for him. I was his boss, not even immediate boss, the boss of his boss, he’s just starting out his career. He would always come to me directly if he had any question, and would just stare at me non stop, his intense cold icy blue eyes just reading every expression, every gesture I made. His eyes would not leave my face. He would intently listen to every word I said, even if I was just talking to other people. I understood how he felt about me, so I always tried to keep him at arms length. I did not want to jeopardize my career getting involved with a junior employee with whom I had so much power over. He seemed to have no fear of me and he came after me hard, he would linger around me under any pretense, would ask me questions to know as much about me as possible. It was just very clear the way he stared at me that he wanted me BAD.
    Initially, I was quite annoyed by this, but he wore me down over time. At first I did not think he was that good looking either, but he started to look better over time, if that makes any sense. My resistance to him kinda started to melt and I started to want him back, which he probably could sense, even though I tried my very best to hide it best I could. I was also imotionally vulnerable coming out of a ten years relationship and having my heart broken so badly. But the Scorp did not know that, neither did I tell him. It was none of his business.
    About his staring directly at my face, into my eyes etc, it was so intense that I could never directly look a his eyes, I was afraid he would instantly read everything I felt if I looked into his eyes. Now I understand he read them anyway! There seemed to be intense energy passing back and forth between us when he was around me, and no one else seemed to notice, his attention to me was so intense yet so quiet that no one else at work noticed. I still kept him as far away from me as possible as not to cross an ethical boundaries. A couple of months ago, I took up another job in a different town with better salary etc and he openly expressed to me how incredibly sad he was I was leaving and one night after work he lingered in the office to leave same time as me, I sometimes work late. We hung out for a bit, had some drinks and he almost tried to kiss me, mind you I was still at my old job, still his boss. I gave him no chance, but just a hint that I probably was interested in him as well. He was all over me and tried to spend ever second with me. We parted ways without anything happening. And after that I started to constantly think about him, avoiding the many many men who hit on me. Just his thoughts, all the time! It got so intense that, after three months, I texted him that I was in town and wanted to catch up. He was overjoyed and agreed instantly. I was at the local pub when he came by after work, I was talking to few of my former work colleagues, all female btw. He seemed to not like it. He even draped his hands protectively around my shoulders as if marking his territory. He gave such intense looks to my friends that all of them excused themselves to leave within few minutes, as if they sensed that we were an item! Which we were not and never was there anything solid between us and no one at my previous work had noticed, at least I thought so! I am 32 years old, but I can be very trusting and naive, I guess my Aries traits are very strong. He is 26 btw, and way more mature and oh so manipulative! I am like a baby in front of him. After everyone left, he gave me a hug so intense and so passionate it took my breath away. I wanted to kiss him, but kept my composure. It was very strange seeing him after such a long period of time and all these intense emotions were bubbling up inside me. However I kept everything casual and chatted like friends. He seemed different. More like a man in charge than a subordinate. He kept watching me the whole time, but this time I knew that he knew that I liked him for sure, so there was no mad effort from his part to please me anymore. He said nothing about his personal life neither did he question me about my love life, but kept probing about everything else, I was just describing about a party we had at our new office and then I said ” it was so late when I got home”, and he latched on to that sentence and immediately probed with who? Who you went home with? I assured him it was just me. I was very careful not to make him jealous and give him enough hint that I liked him without sounding too obvious, he got it. But somehow about an hour later he started to get mad at me, I still don’t know why though. I was very careful this time talking to him as I have been reading about Scorp males, but he started to get mad, accused me of being materialistic and changing my job for more money etc, started to kinda insult me actually! I was stunned. Even though I liked him, I was his way superior boss at work not too long ago and I did not like to be disrespected. He actually left me in the bar and stormed out mad, I was very calm though and was restrained in my behavior. I was crestfallen with such behavior, I did not see this coming! I was nice, and charming and showed my interest, just bit , and he disrespects me and leaves me!
    I have not heard from him in three months! I did send him a text asking how he was doing a month ago. He did not reply. He keeps touch with his ex over FB, at this point I won’t be surprised if he was after me while still being with her and the ex he told me about is not an ex, but always present gf! I am just so sick of these game playing water sign males! My trusting Aries nature can’t deal with it. Is he coming back? Was he just after me to see if he can get a woman so completely out of his league? Now that he knows that he can, is the power trip over? He is not interested anymore! He in not a catch by any means now I understand, but I still think about him and would like some closure at least!

  4. Everything u said i been through in just 8 months. Now he calls me out of my name. I just dumped him…forced him to run away

  5. Thank you Marie for such a good analysis and advise. Scorpion are not easy, but it is intense and not everyone can handle it. I’m involved with Virgo with Mars Scorpio square Pluto. I am totally aware of Scorpio traits. But as you said it is important to hold your own, and find something to do to take your mind away. Also that relationship makes you dig into yourself and become stronger and more resourceful. I am Cancer stellium square (thank God) Uranus. My Moon in Taurus makes T-square with his mars and Pluto. Intense. I also have Pluto tan siting (squaring) my Moon nodes – 8 house NN. Just because of this relationship I got back into astrology. 🙂

  6. Lyana,

    Ok. I think your moon in taurus makes u a bit cautious. I am scorp with cancer moon and involved with a taurus man with virgo moon. We lived together quite 3 mos. I like your moon in taurus. I find it very compatible with scorpio. Your moon can handle intensity. But it takes a lot of work. Scorpio are manipulative and most of us will be the one to surrender because it brings fear in us. We are afraid of failures. We don’t forgive betrayal. If we stay then there is agenda behind we are planning. So while the iron is hot and he is manipulative don’t engage. Remain calm. Any news about your man? I wish u luck. I have lots of issues but my bull and I are communicating. If he retreats I remained calm and stay. I don’t test him anymore. Scorpio have lots of issues to solve. We dont trust people. We are doom.we have to value people and give them benefits of the doubt if not then we are still the unevolved scorp living in darkness and cannot conquer it.

  7. Moonean Pysces says:

    Girl move on. You are 32 and he is 26. No matter how mature he appears he isn’t. He may be more mature, or experienced than you in matters of the heart but when you enter a relationship, you also bring your mind body soul bad credit everything. It’s crazy that you were in a 10 year relationship with some asshole and you guys never even got married. That should have been the first hint for you— no ring after all that time (unless you don’t want to get married)??? In any case, those 10 years of your life set you back in the dating game. It’s a beast and you’ve seen it up close and personal with Mr. Scorpio! Keep it moving on him. You’re not too clear on exactly what you said to make him storm out, and it doesn’t seem like you made much of an effort to connect with him afterwards (after a month sent “a” text?) but he hasn’t reached out to you either so it is what it is. If you really want him PICK UP THE PHONE and start a dialogue. If you’re really thinking about him like that TELL HIM. I’m surprised Ms. Aries that your forceful upfront nature hasn’t done this already— you may be Sun in Aries but I am wondering what the rest of your chart looks like?!?!

  8. Hey Marie
    What you wrote there….exactly what i needed
    Thank you

  9. I am a Pisces woman married to Scorpio man for 18 years. It has always been bittersweet. Deep down, I know he is crazy about me. I have already understood his constant need for space. Once, he is angry or cold, I try very much to ignore him and mind my business. When he is out, he comes to meet me. I truly love him though there are aspects of his life, I have outgrown. We have five children. I don’t think I will ever leave him. We enjoy intense love making that is df from what I ever known. In all, if you are aspiring to date a Scorpio, you must understand their needs for time alone. Be patient with him. If he starts withdrawing, dont run after him. If he notices you are not after him, he comes after you. Don’t bother yourself with his stupid mind games, when he is doing that, pretend you don’t notice it. Always show him, you can stay without him and finally, don’t depend on him.

  10. Chelsea says:

    I was in your shoes 5 months ago. Lol. He is definitely going to come back. And leave again. Until he cant leave anymore. And then he will be puddy in your hands and you in his as well. Very intense. Electrifying. Im a Leo by the way. Aries & Leo woman have thee same over all characteristics. Big heart, passionate, caring just loving & its the type of love the Scorp male craves. He cant help it….. Hope this helps

  11. Thank u for this. I am a Cancer woman in love with a Scorpio man. We have a deep connection that I cannot explain. We feed off of each other’s highs and lows and emotions.

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