If I back off from Taurus man will he want me more?

TaurusThe question implies that the querent was encroaching on the Taurus man’s turf, and he responded in kind by digging in his heels. He probably felt threatened. You see, the Taurus man is not keen on change. He needs to feel secure, and if a woman tries to change the perimeter of his fence, he won’t budge an inch.

If the Taurus man feels he is going to lose whatever provides him security, his fear-response will kick in. He needs to know you won’t force him to move too fast. After all, he’s worked hard to acquire his hard-earned plot of land, and he’s not going to let go of it easily.

So you step back. Will you — in having given him room to roam — trigger in him a greater desire for you?

There are two things you must remember: Taurus does not like change, and Taurus loves comfort. The first part comes from being a fixed sign, the second comes from being ruled by Venus, goddess of sensual pleasure. His modus operandi is to seek and acquire that which is beautiful and feels good to his body. Yet he’s not going to take many risks to do so. He will be slow, cautious and persistent … but if he really wants it, he will get it, just in his own sweet time.

So you need to appeal to his desire for the finer things in life, without being too unconventional (Aquarian), intense (Scorpionic) or dramatic (Leonine). Be like the water in a stream, the smooth rocks on an incline, the moss blanketing a tree. He will come to you, dip his toes in the water or feel the contours of your surface, and nestle in your curves if it feels good and safe.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.


  1. I love tauraus man we have date of 4 years….. after chat of 1 year we met… nddd have a physical reltionship with him …suddenly after 4 months misunder understanding now he come after 6 months and after 1 day he break uo wid me but after 2 months he again come nd after now only chat of one month he breakup with me. …. I found that the relationship before me 4 years back he is going to her…. can u tell what will happen to my nd his relationship….. I lOve him a a lot. .. m a saggistarius girl

  2. I’m a Taurus man and my ex is a Sagittarius woman, and you guys are the most difficult ppl to love cause your indecisive af with your feelings and we crave security.

  3. can u tell me that did my tauraus man come back to my life ??? as when we break up he come to 6 months after 1 day we break up nd suddenly 2 months he again back up.. bt after 1 month he just lost and breakup … will u tell me that will help come back? his d.o.b is 10 may 1990

  4. SagSweetie says:

    Yes, we can be seen as indecisive in our feelings. Sagis like to have our freedom in some ways and we can be quite flirtatious. However, we are extremely loyal when we are set on that one who makes us feel like we can safely be ourselves without judgment or pressure to change. Im currently (secretively) in love with a Taurus at work. He has been giving me the blues because he is so distant and stubborn. However, I am determined to be with him. So, I am cautious of being too flirtatious or conversational with other men.

  5. till now my tauraus man doesn’t come back ??

  6. Susan Monreal says:

    I’m an Aquarius and I’m involved with a Taurus man,he talks to me and tells me personally things, I met some of his family, but just when I get relaxed he doesn’t text me or call me for a few days and he avoids me, what’s up with that

  7. I have been talking to a Taurus man for 7 months flew out to see him had lots of sex lol and he was very possessive while I was there especially around his friends I could tell he cared for me but something was telling me something was up when I made it back home we didn’t talk as much but he asked me to not tell anyone about our week which made me second guess if his actions were genuine. Recently blocked me on snap ? I did nothing but show love to him idk. Im not necessarily upset bc I live life genuinely and all my intentions r pure & bc of that im always good but i really like him, prayed for him n all. Anyone know what’s goin on?

  8. Going on 4 mos. We been doing good. He just finished school and started a new job. Working 12-14 from what he say a day. Just moved to his new house hasn’t given me the new address yet. He say he’s not good with timing himself. It’s going on 4 weeks I haven’t seen him or spent any time. And he’s knows I’m threnthen a miscarriage with out child. He barely text or call me. Ion know what to think any more. I apologize for being an emotional creature. Bc he don’t like to get emotional. But I do need him to be here for me during this time. IMA just step back and take the back seat kg this relationship.

  9. Jennifer Charles says:

    Omg your message is everything! You are so on point with taurus men! I was looking for advice and you gave it to me… this man is so confusing and heartless

  10. I am missing my tauraus man very badly
    .. 6 months now….. he has doubt that I have sex with another person that’s why he leaves …. will he comes?

  11. I met a Taurus man over a month ago. We met on a Friday when he walked up behind me at the club and said you look amazing. When I turned and saw him, I was instantly attracted and later, ended up with his arms around me and kissing. I left with my friends and next morning, I get a good morning message from him. We met up on Sunday and had a nice afternoon. No sex. Then, on Monday, he tells me he thinks I want more than he can give. I said no and offered an fwb relationship and he shot that down. I left him alone after that. I’m a Sagittarius woman’s and will not chase a man. So, after a month of not hearing from him, he messages me our of the blue this past week and wants to hang out. I went and ended up having the best sex I’ve ever had. I left him alone for the next few days. Finally sent him an hey how ya doing message yesterday and tried to meet him but, because I couldn’t meet him when he wanted he got cold and said I won’t have the time sorry. What should I make of this and should I leave him alone? He’s just what I’m looking for even though I wasn’t looking. He’s gentle in public but a beast in this bedroom. So please help me within this.

  12. I really need my taurus husband to come home . Thing is he won’t even talk to me let alone look at me he hasn’t rung or seen our 2 small children in 2 weeks.(So unlike him ) I have been texting him and ringing begging him to come home etc but slowly I’m learning to back off .. he come then been nice to me getting our hopes up then boom he’s gone again ignoring me saying nasty hurtful things. I just don’tknow what to do for the best do i just ignore him not text or anything? Do I tell him how I feel ? Which I do then he comes back oh any taurus men plz enlighten me. Piseas woman

  13. Brooklyn says:

    I’ve been dating a Taurus man for three months. He is very sweet to me and very affectionate . He loves to rub my thighs and the rest of my body . He tells me he loves me and I love him too. When we go out he pays for everything and holds my hand and kisses me a lot. Our sex is full of passion and I admit with him, I’ve had the best sex ever. You can just feel the love and passion between us.

    However, about three weeks ago a woman claim he is her man and been with him 4 years. I confronted him and he says it’s a lie he is only with me. However, now I’m having a hard time trusting him . Something not right. He tells me he have a lot going on but he love me . I am trying to keep an open mind and give my man a benefit of a doubt. I really love him but I just cry thinking bout what if the woman not lying. Then sometimes he take a day or two to even text me or call me back.

    As a Gemini Queen I tend to get a bit angry fast and be ready to fight for mines, I got so mad I told his ass he better get to my house now or I was gonna fuck him up for playing with my heart ?. That didn’t do nothing but piss him all the way off. He came but told me real quick he don’t have the time for my bs . That he love me and he is a man who have a lot on his plate. He said if imma be accusing him he will just leave me alone. Ugh ? I’m used to being in control and this man is not having it. Then he rocks my world in bed and I don’t see him no more for like 4 days. Like wtf is that all about? He confuse the hell outta me. I’m willing to be strong and fight for my man. However I’m getting too old for this BS. I’m 39 and he is 33.

    Can someone tell me what can I do to make this man love me enough for him to jump for me. I want him here with me more than he is. All I wanna do is love him and treat him like a King ?

  14. Brooklyn says:

    This is exactly how my Taurus man is. I let him know I don’t need u, I want u and love u. I have my own everything so I can and will make it without him. He like u crazy and I’m like naw I’m being real. If you don’t want me say so and let me go. This Gemini Queen got a line waiting .

    I think my mouth be messing me up

  15. PrincessSagg says:

    I need help so I’ve been with my Taurus guy for about 11 months about to be 12 but he broke up with me out of no where but u know he was telling me he needed space before I didn’t ignore it but I simply went over there to talk about this break an he changed his mind about it now a month later were back at this space an even though at first he messaged me crying saying he definitely gonna come back an basically button me up first after this break if comfort him you know I tried to be really understand in an there for him ..but after a while u know he stopped n then he commented on this girls post an I got upset cause I started to assume that’s what he was using this break for but I was wrong an I thought I was on thin ice with him but I wasn’t..and like we hung out on this break ..an stuff everything’s ok but I do why we not back together her told me that he wants to be able to give me everything before we could be together again an he says he wants to get married an he wants to marry me and I’m trying to give him time to find himself and trying to be patient cause bein with a Taurus man means having a lot of patience and so far it’s been a month and half now almost two months..an I’m getting tired of waiting cause I don’t want anyone but him I’m tryna keep myself busy an do my best not to crowd him but it’s hard not knowing where I stand ..iknow he loves me cause he tells me but I still wonder u know I need help I do what to do anymore because everyone wants me to give it till my birthday which is nice 25th an we started this break Aug 22nd I do what to do anymore and I even told him if one day he wakes up and doesn’t wanna be with no more tell me an he says he doesn’t wanna find anyone else because he has me please help I’m so confused

  16. @PrincessSagg, if this Taurus is still not back with you for good, you’d better turn the page.

    “he was telling me he needed space”.
    A man who feels perfectly comfortable with you doesn’t ask for any space, as he wants to be as close as possible, with all the boundaries erased. If a person asks for space, this means that your presence is smothering, as your union lacks harmony. Same goes for any sorts of break ups. If people broke up, they were not good together. For, if they were, they would never go separate ways.

    “then he commented on this girls post an I got upset”.
    If the comment was flirty, then you were right to get upset. Otherwise, you may be prone to overreacting, and this wears Taureans off.

    “told me that he wants to be able to give me everything before we could be together again an he says he wants to get married an he wants to marry me”
    When a man really wants to marry you, he doesn’t take a break. Imagine that you want to marry somebody out of love. Why would you deny yourself the pleasure of taking care of this person, holding him by a hand, making love? No way.

    “if one day he wakes up and doesn’t wanna be with no more tell me an he says he doesn’t wanna find anyone else because he has me”
    Men (and especially Taureans) speak with their actions. No words needed.

    “everyone wants me to give it till my birthday”
    Your life is only your business. “Everyone” may want what they want, but you should act wisely.

  17. LunaticLiz says:

    This is more of a Mars in Taurus Query.. I’m dating a guy, J, who hasn’t been clear or consistent in his behavior or communications with me, and it has left me a bit confused. I’ve done his chart and mine, and looked at the various aspects of our compatibility, but I am still on the fence on whether I need to write him off, or be patient and wait a little longer for him to figure out what he wants. I’m an Aries, with Taurus as my ascendant, Venus in Pisces, Mars in Libra, Moon in Aquarius and Mercury in Taurus. He is a Leo with Venus and Moon in Virgo, Mars in Taurus, Mercury in Leo and according to the birth time rectification I did, he has Taurus as his ascendant as well.

    Here is a bit of background on our interactions and us. We met last October on an online dating site and he texted me frequently, but it took almost two months before I finally got him to meet me in person, the weekend after Thanksgiving. I’m not too shy or traditional, so I don’t mind initiating dating or sex, and generally pay my own way unless I sense that it’s a point of “manliness” for my date. We had breakfast, went to a flea market and had a really great time. Although he was obviously very nervous, ease of communication and comfort with each other was great. He asked me out again before we both went our separate ways. However, while he still texted me regularly and our chats were genuine and positive, I always got a “maybe” on the next date and then he ghosted a couple weeks after our November date.

    I’m not really the type to chase someone too much, especially if I don’t think they are interested. I’m not at all vain about it, but I’m a very smart, attractive and desirable woman and I know it. Chasing someone who doesn’t want you, just isn’t very logical, especially when you have a bunch of other decent candidates, just waiting for you to make time for them. However, something about him made an impression, and I wasn’t satisfied with the way he just “ghosted,” so after a few weeks, in December, I texted him, and asked what had happened, and called him out on his “ghosting.” He played innocence and naivety on the matter and then the regular texting started back up.

    After a few weeks of consistent texting complete with sexual innuendos and lots of flirting, I called him out and in so many words told him, if we didn’t see each other again, I wasn’t going to continue texting him. Within a week we went out again (the weekend after Christmas), and just like last time, had a really great time. So great that he went above and beyond trying to keep the date going, when our original plans fell through. It ended up with me going back to his house, where nothing happened, beyond some VERY MILD cuddling. He walked me to my car, where he kissed me goodnight.

    We saw each other again the next weekend, where he invited me up to his room, but did not want to have sex. I’m very amorous (and not at all shy about sex) and he was definitely aroused, but not exactly receptive. He was definitely fighting his own desires, but was very insistent on sleeping. I laid with him for a little bit, but ultimately left because I didn’t really understand what was happening and it felt weird.

    He texted like normal through the week, but waited until pretty late Saturday, to invite me to breakfast on Sunday. It felt more like a “lets step back and be friends” date, so I declined him very politely and explained how I felt about the breakfast date being a step backwards. I told him that while I liked him a lot, if he wasn’t interested in me, then we should stop seeing/texting each other, and that I just wasn’t interested in a new “pal” at the moment. He said he liked me, and I was awesome, blah, blah, but he understood and apologized. Wished him the best and thought that was the end of it.

    Later that night he sends me a message about cuddling with me. I became very irritated and sent a semi angry message. Then a less angry message explaining how the message made me feel, especially after what was said early that day. I told him how it made me confused, and that he needed to decide, yes, he was interested in seeing where this went or no, he wasn’t and that “maybe interested” wasn’t an option. He sort of changed his tune, and told me he was confused as to how he felt about me and asked me to come over to his house. I was already out with friends, and declined, so he asked me over Sunday night (we had the following Monday off).

    We never talked about his confused feelings, but we had a really nice time as usual. I didn’t push or press him for anything, and repressed my usual amorousness, letting him decide what he wanted to happen, and then I just followed his lead. We went up to his room to “cuddle,” this time having it lead to actual intercourse, that he initiated very aggressively. Aggression as in taking over the situation with definitive purpose, not violence. Until this point, I had not seen anything that resembled dominance from him. Since that weekend, I have not initiated any of our dates or sex. I’ve left that up to him and we had 4 or 5 more weeks like that Sunday, sometimes with him finding reasons for me to stay when morning came.. breakfast, garage saling, flea market.. various things. One weekend I even stayed over the following night too, at his request.

    There was a weekend when, my birth control wasn’t as effective, and I was spotting so we couldn’t have sex, but he still wanted me to come over. So I did and all we did was spoon each other. The next weekend he invited me over like usual. I was very “eager” and very amorous since we hadn’t done anything the weekend before. He kissed me, but ended the kiss quickly every time I tried to kiss him. Pushed my hand away when I moved to close to his groin area while we were watching tv. He held and played with my hand all throughout the night, and spooned and held my hand while we slept, but he never initiated intercourse. The next morning he asked me to go shopping with him, then we got lunch and then he asked me to take a nap with him, where he spooned and held my hand again. I tried kissing him again after we woke up from the nap, and he again broke away from it. As I left to go home, I wasn’t going to try to kiss him or anything because of all the weirdness every time I tried to kiss him before, but he stopped me, and kissed me. We texted all week like normal, but the following week he didn’t ask me over. I had midterms so I really didn’t mind, and prob would of told him I couldn’t, even if he had, so I didn’t question it. He texted several times everyday over the weekend, but never asked to see me or explained why he hadn’t wanted to see me. I just left it alone and we continued on to the next week like normal.

    The Tuesday of that week, I got a bug up my butt, and asked him straight forwardly if he wanted to continue, or were we done. He told me he liked hanging out and doing things, but he felt more of a friendship. I said, “Ok, no problem.” and was set to move on, but he texted me the next day like nothing happened. I politely told him he didn’t need to text me anymore, but thank you. The following day he tells me about a yard sale he wants to go to on Saturday and gives me a perfectly rational reason why I need to go with him. I agree to go. Then on Friday he ask me to come hang out with his brother and his friend. I really didn’t know if I should, but I eventually do go over there, with the plan of going out with friends afterwards though. I’m definitely dressed to go out when I get there, and get texted several times by said friends while I’m hanging out with him. His friend and his brother both leave and he tells me I don’t have to leave, its up to me. I go ahead and stay. He makes an obvious attempt to be discreet and goes to the bathroom to change into some gym shorts to sleep in. I follow suit, and just lay in my clothes. He spoons me and we just sleep.

    The next morning, he doesn’t seem interested in the garage sale, so I tell him I’m going to go home. He gets up real quick, ready to hit the garage sale so I don’t leave, then hints the entire time about his hockey tickets and how he has no one to go with, so I offer to go. Then he asks me to stick around and watch tv with him in his room, and then when I start to get ready to go after that, tells me I don’t need to leave… again. I stayed over and slept with him (just spooning) until about 3am, then went home. That was this morning at 3am.

    Obviously, I’m very confused. Part of me is like, “F this”, but there’s another part, that is telling me, I need to give him this.. let this “not quite dating, not quite friends” thing play out a little bit. I feel weird about it, but I also feel this sense that he’s not done with the part of this that could be more than friends. That maybe there’s more going on, that he’s just not comfortable sharing, so he pushed me away, but has reservations and is trying to keep me close now. Or am I reading too much into it, and he’s just bored and lonely and I entertain him, and there’s just not enough sexual attraction on his part to keep him interested in me romantically.

    I don’t want you to think I’m obsessing over him, because I’m definitely not. I’ve already had one date this week and have dates next week with two other people… and if they don’t work out, there are always more lol.. I just have this nagging sensation in regards to J. I see a reflection of those things, I value most about myself, in him. Those fundamental values and human qualities, plus a balance of shared and unshared interest, created potential for long term compatibility, but beyond that, I just really like being with him. So if he just needs some time to work stuff out, I wouldn’t be opposed to not dating anyone else and just waiting in this weird friend limbo. I know J’s Virgo Venus/Moon and Taurus Mars, are going to have issues with someone that just moves on with a “whatever” attitude, so I don’t want to give him that impression, if he’s just confused and feeling backed into a corner. However, if that’s not the case, then I’m ready to move on. I don’t want to waste my time on something that isn’t going to work out. I know astrology can’t give me a definitive answer, but I’d like a little more insight into him and the possibilities of a compatible romantic future (not our romantic compatibility/synastry exactly, but how both our recent past and future looks as far as being in a healthy romantic situation with each other).

    J’s Birth info: August, 9, 1975 Stamford, CT 1200am (I’ve never found a good time to ask him, so I used rectification based on my knowledge of him.)

    M’s Birth info: April 18, 1982 Cleveland, TN 635am (My birth time is accurate.)

    Other info:

    J has a rule about no dates on nights before he has to go to work, which I don’t have a problem with, but shows an aspect of his personality. He broke the rule once with me.

    Our interactions are always jovial. There’s a simple easiness to being together. We don’t argue, we discuss, almost laughing about the difference in opinion rather than bearing harsh feelings against each other. I helped him with a project once, and it was like two machines programmed to do activities in unison, without the need of bothersome and time wasting communication.

    J remains erect long enough for me to have several orgasms, but vaginal intercourse always ends with him getting flaccid. Then we move to oral or hand for him, and only half the time does it work out. He gets frustrated and eventually rolls over in defeat.

    The night he rejected me repeatedly, but then also spooned and held my hand and asked me to stay and hang out the next day and even nap with him.. I accidentally clicked on a bookmark folder that had a list of all the profiles of guys I’ve talked to and found interesting enough to meet in person from the dating site I met J on. I panicked and he got a good 3 seconds to see the list and what it was.

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