How to end a relationship with a Cancer

Ending a relationship with a Cancer is like giving up your baby for adoption.

But, really. Cancer is ruled by the Moon, which governs the mother-child bond, family, food, the home and emotions. Hence, your Cancer man can get pretty attached. It’s likely there has been a form of dependency in your relationship. Maybe you want out because you feel smothered.

That’s all legitimate. But you’re not asking why, you’re asking how.

“My dear Cancer, during the time we have spent together, you have felt like family to me. We’ve shared beautiful moments of warmth and coziness, and I just love your pumpkin pie. However, there are times when I feel like you want more from me than a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship … and I don’t mean marriage. Sometimes I feel like you want me to be your mother, and that’s just not a role that I want to play.

“I’ve brought this up before … as much as I feel two people in a couple should be there for each other, I don’t want to be taken care of, and I don’t want to take care of you. And when I’ve confronted you about this unhealthy dynamic, you just get moody and withdraw.

“So I think it’s best, Cancer, if we go our separate ways. You can keep the kitchenware.”

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at


  1. @NovLady-

    i was very clear with my intentions in the beginning. i even wrote him a letter re- confirming what my intentions were. that’s the letter he pretended he never read. this is the one that his girlfriend at the time read. i found it rather peculiar that a letter that was addressed to him [sent via postage mail] was read by this ‘girlfriend’ who did not live with him at the time. how does a woman find a way to mans mailbox, read a letter, make accusations, but not show him the letter? i thought it seemed a bit far fetched. lol. but, then again, he’s weird. so i brushed it off. but my gut instinct told me he read it.

    he did ask me why i didn’t want to be with him. i told him that felt that he came on too strong, he’s too emotional, hypersenitive, controlling and very, very impatient. surprisingly he agreed with me on this. or was he just pretending to agree with me on the surface? who knows. he mentioned the possibility of a relationship, but then i politely changed the discussion and suggested that he meet someone else.
    i wanted to hookup for the labor day wknd, but he never responded. then the calls from the private numbers followed. lol. (he used to do this in the past)

    but i guess you’re right. i will have to be completely unselfish. no more fwb’s

    thank u so much!

  2. @brydall77

    Your welcome. His emotions seem to invested and complicated to make a ‘”friends with benefits” scenario enjoyable for much longer. Plus, considering someone’s feelings builds good relationship karma, I feel.

  3. @no-perspiration I had a 91 RX-7 TurboII, and 93 RX-7 R1 and now I have 07 RX-8

    So I am just going to vent… no reply are necessary unless someone feels deemed

    I finally got a chanced to meet with a Pisces girl that I have been talking to for the past 1yr and some months. Originally she was the one pursuing me. Long story short… it was disastrous. 2 Weeks prior on arriving she tells me once again she is infatuated with another guy; this would be the 4th time in the course of the time we started talking and getting to know one another. I originally told her not to come, because it would be pointless. She insisted.

    Anyway the whole time here all she was doing was texting this “new” guy. I say “new” because I find out that she actually been talking to this guy since May, around the same time she stop flirting with me like she normally would.

    The final draw for me was that she couldn’t stop texting the guy and this guy actually call during dinner with my sister. I kindly asked her to do this outside of the restaurant but she refused.

    After that night I told her that I had enough, and it wasn’t going to work out because clearly her mind and heart is else where. Obviously there isn’t going to be a chance to see if we had a connection in-person. I offered her to continue to stay and we would continue with all the plans that I had made; and I would be a gentleman to not ruin the rest of her vacation. However that once she leaves, I would not continue our friendship nor I wanted her to contact me anymore. The next morning she decided to fly home immediately.

    If that helps any indication of how Cancer works…but a Cancer with lots of Air/Fire 😉

  4. @brydall77 for me.. I am not down with friend’s with benefit. I need the whole complete package. I need a mental connection with the person and I also like to have a physical one. To me it’s pointless to have such as there is no clear indication where it ends.

    I have known this myself from the beginning and I have tried to have friends with benefits and as well as one night stands. I just can’t find myself actually going through with them, even when the other party is clear cut.

    Hope that helps

  5. Rotary dude…. I had an 86 twin turbo rx-7, an 87 n/a and 87 twin turbo. Too much upkeep! But, you had the FD! I am so jealous. I’ve always wanted a good condition FD.

    With your situation, if you don’t mind, can I reflect something here, as I am newly seeing a Cancer man and have just recently, for what seems like a millionth time, told an older cancer man I wasn’t interested in dating him. The older one was too emotional for me. Played it cool in the beginning, but kept hinting at himself as a possible suitor for me. Now, with all men who pursue me, I was very upfront with what my expectations were with him…. friends only. But, he took it as he wasn’t good enough. I sensed his insecurities even when he didn’t realize he was giving them away. Cancer is the most emotional sign out of all the Zodiacs, beats Pisces by a long shot, actually. This particular girl, even though it’s now in the past, may have been ignorant to your feelings and wanted to see you as friends only. It’s ok that you can’t do fbuddies or one-nighters. I only went that route when my heart was severely broken for the first time in my life. I was like “relationships suck. Men suck. Games suck…” and decided to go have happy-go-lucky time with various suitors. They were all confronted. I was the man-picking machine for awhile there, but ultimately I want the all-encompassing experience, too.

    So, I know you might not be looking for any suggestions (you FD owner! Ah, jealous) but I would recommend NOT changing yourself for any woman you want in your life. Plus, let her come to you, whomever the next woman is. And trust your gut over what the other person says. Some people do things out of guilt or boredom.

  6. @no-perspiration 86 & 87 Twin Turbo? so it must have been aftermarket. Since they didn’t come in twin turbos. single Turbo call Turbo II.. my 91 Rx-7 Turbo II was call a S2 or Series 2 as they have changed the rear stop lamps from rectangular bars to two circle lights, plus a few changes to the front. 86.5-88 are the S1 or Series 1. But they all had a the same chassis as you know FC3S. A lot of people thought Turbo II meant it was dual turbos, but it wasn’t the case. Because in Japan they had 85 RX-7 Turbo (1st Gen RX 7), they named all the 2nd Gen (FC3S chassis) Turbo IIs

    As for this girl, originally she wanted a relationship, but I was not ready for one… because I had other things I need to deal with. Plus she was still going through some personal issues of her own, and I told her she wasn’t girlfriend material.

    We originally had a great chemistry and at one point she even used the L word. Which I wasn’t comfortable saying to her. But as we started talking more and more I started to feel the same way, around FEb/Mar of this year. It was only when she found new interests I get dropped, but usually they only lasts a month and she comes running back.

    I am too old to change for anyone nowadays… and I don’t plan to. I have completely disconnect myself from her. Removed her from all the social networks. Setup my phone to send her a busy signal if she calls..etc…etc.. as I said before in my post I told her I was not able to keep a friendship if she can not respect me as a friend or a lover and the abuses she dealt to me are unacceptable.

    Good luck to you, because I know I have been trying to find a Rotary Dudette for the longest time, damn that lucky Cancer guy 😉

  7. @no-perspiration err I mean S4(Series 4) and S5(Series 5) sorry for the confusion

  8. @RotaryDude

    thanks for the response. all the responses from the other posters were also very helpful. i think he shares your views on fwb and one-night-stands. but he has never spoken out about being against it. he’s very contained. throws many subtle hints, but never speaks his mind directly. he is also very impatient, and comes on too strong with unrealistic expectations. i don’t know if that is also a cancer trait. if he doesn’t get the response he wants, right away, then i don’t hear from him for a long time.
    the calls usually start off from private numbers, when i don’t respond to them, he then tries to call me from his actual cell phone (revealing the #).
    i told him he comes on way too strong at times. he really needs to fall back sometimes.

    but, i will put my selfish needs aside. hopefully he will find love, and what he’s truly looking for.


  9. What
    I notice with Cancer is really true to have a Friends with benefits type. It sucks that when you tell them exactly what you feel they build wall when you said that would hurt their feeling. I told him to just stop calling me. Now he is calling me like nothing happened.. What was that? does he want me still or not.By the way I am female Scorpio.. Grrr…Its like sometimes they cant make up their mind..Which i Hated

  10. Frustrated cancer lover says:

    I am with a cancer guy for the last 6 years or so.And he is in no way smothering or overbearing, he is actually the total opposite, this is my problem, hes not romantic and does not get overly touchy feely, it drives me nuts, hes a realist and never gets over emotional, he does not follow any of his sign traits, if any thing hes the opposite of what his sign says he should be, I am a virgo in everyway, our signs together are compatible in love, but we are on the verge of seperation,i love him but, his love is questionable. My Cancer Man is a, one of a kind i feel, a natural realist, or are there others out there lol..Stay cool Cancerians…

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