Every relationship has a ‘Higher Love’ that challenges partners to develop personally through service to each other and the larger purpose of being together. The “love asteroid” Vesta encourages us to relate creatively so that we are interdependent, not co-dependent. In some relationships, we may become like comrades in arms to support each other through challenging times. Vesta moved into Leo on August 28, where it will stay until November 19, 2009. Issues of the heart, creativity and children will be the focus during this time in our relationships. Vesta demands an independence and relatedness working side-by-side, and asks us to also be willing to sacrifice some of our more self-serving goals for the betterment of both. Are you being true to your heart in your relationship and are you expressing yourself to the best of your ability? Laziness has no place with Vesta. A safe and comfortable personal life can only be obtained by working hard on any personal issues that are holding you back from being the best that you can be both together and as individuals. This might also be a nice time to entertain at home or enjoy some creative pursuits together. If you have children or are looking to start a family together, then this is a great period to focus on sharing happy times.

About the Author

Pemo Theodore, ACC, ISAR.Cap, Certified Astro*Carto*Grapher is a Matchmaker Extraordinaire, coach and astrologer. Her AstraMatch Blog is a light and funny look at Love, Life, matchmaking, online dating, relationships and social networks. She teaches new techniques for relationship charts at the International Academy of Astrology. She also wrote the Star*Mate astrological composite report, available from Kepler software.

Read about other asteroids on Sasstrology:

• Pallas
• Ceres
• Juno
• Eros
• Chiron

Pallas, the asteroid, is important in relationships because she signifies wisdom and the skill to participate in the battlefield of Love. Of course, she is particularly important for women, and her presence in the chart can lead us to wherein our victories lie in relationship. She also signifies independence, with the view to gain attention from others, and can highlight conflicts between safety/security and freer creative relating. These days, when women are expected to be independent and to compete in what was formerly a man’s world, she is almost a “must have” asteroid for women! Pallas moved into Virgo on August 1 and finishes its transit through this fussy sign until October 4. During these months, we need to pay attention to all the details of our love life and work hard on any co-dependency issues that are holding us back from true intimacy and inner freedom. The courage and wisdom that we need to focus on those impossible details are available now, so go for it! Seek counsel from wise women friends or counselors if you find yourself expecting perfection from yourself or your partner. Reminder to self: This isn’t a perfect world! This is a great time to be able to enjoy day-to-day life with our partners and appreciate each other in very ordinary ways. If you feel critical and judgmental of yourself or your partner now, it is important to apply the antidote of wisdom from a trained expert or a trusted girlfriend. Try to focus on your heart feelings rather than your mind thinkings! If you find yourself going into battle with all guns blazing too much, then you may need to address issues about freedom and respect for yourself and your partner.

About the Author

Pemo Theodore, ACC, ISAR.Cap, Certified Astro*Carto*Grapher is a Matchmaker Extraordinaire, coach and astrologer. Her AstraMatch Blog is a light and funny look at Love, Life, matchmaking, online dating, relationships and social networks. She teaches new techniques for relationship charts at the International Academy of Astrology. She also wrote the Star*Mate astrological composite report, available from Kepler software.

Read about other asteroids on Sasstrology:

• Ceres
• Juno
• Eros
• Chiron

The asteroid Ceres went into Venus’ sign of relationship, Libra, on August 4, where she will remain until mid-October 2009. She is one of the love asteroids, and when placed in Venus’ sign she generally sweetens, intensifies and deepens how we relate. Ceres cares deeply for those she loves, but her feelings are often extremely intense. She fears the loss of her beloved, and if this threat is real, she may become neurotic, worried and depressed. Ceres can be co-dependent and needy. During this period, our love and sex lives will be heightened with deeper levels of care, and relationships can blossom with deeper stability. Enjoy your love life during this period and soak it up — sex can be extremely nourishing now. However, be careful to communicate with your partner if you feel your needs are not being addressed. If you are left feeling insecure during this period, work on building your own confidence and self-love so that you are not showing up as needy and dependent. Relationships could become more stable during this time. See a counselor or coach if you find yourself experiencing jealousy, trying to control your partner, or worrying about loss.

About the Author

Pemo Theodore, ACC, ISAR.Cap, Certified Astro*Carto*Grapher is a Matchmaker Extraordinaire, coach and astrologer. Her AstraMatch Blog is a light and funny look at Love, Life, matchmaking, online dating, relationships and social networks. She teaches new techniques for relationship charts at the International Academy of Astrology. She also wrote the Star*Mate astrological composite report, available from Kepler software.

Read about other asteroids on Sasstrology:

• Juno

• Eros
• Chiron

Image Credit: Ceres glyph from Astrologically Speaking.

Don’t know where Juno is in your chart? Find out how to get it for free.

An aspect between Juno and one of the personal planets or the lights brings her influence directly to the personal Self, while an aspect with an outer planet gives Juno broad effect in the psyche, perhaps subconsciously, and opens the door for the individual to carry her Archetype. Contact is more important than the kind of aspect; hard or soft, it’s the awareness of Juno energies that counts.

Paired with the Sun, Juno becomes an identity issue. For a woman, that likely plays out through her role in life and the power it does or doesn’t afford her. For a man, the women with whom he partners throughout life (and he may actually need a partner, to feel “himself”) will be vital to identity formation, as well as in realizing his Soul Purpose.

The Moon brings empowerment issues into line with emotional and mothering ones, both received and given, and may give the mother (and possibly all women viewed in a non-sexual capacity) a Juno-like role.

Mercury marries communication with empowerment, and effectiveness levels are intertwined in a female chart. For a man, contact implies that empowered women (or the mate) communicate for him, that communication is an ongoing issue between the spouses, or that he may find communications from strong women threatening.

With Venus, Juno links empowerment to the ideal way a woman sees herself in the world, and manifests at least in part through beauty and aesthetics. A man will link empowerment (or the lack of it) to his image of the ideal woman.

Juno aspecting Mars links empowerment both to the ability to act effectively and to the sex drive. It also colors a woman’s ideal image of a man, and a man’s ideal image of himself.

Jupiter plus Juno can follow the blueprint of the myth — remember that Jupiter is analogous to Zeus — with a long honeymoon period related to Jupiter in the chart followed by repeated “infidelities.” Struggle is almost guaranteed at some point; empowerment issues can be hugely exaggerated, and may be something one is continually trying to educate the Self or others about.

Juno coupled with Saturn may signal repression of empowerment in a woman, while for a man it suggests suppression of the mate. Or one may take on the role of the crone, in a woman, or the patriarch, in a man, no matter the chronological age.

Juno and Uranus in contact brings a high degree of uniqueness and individuality to the expression of empowerment. This contact can also foster rebellion against the role of wife or the rejection of a power role. The same is true for a man in relation to his mate.

With Neptune, Juno may be ungraspable, with empowerment staying just out of reach, or it could signal the taking on of an inspired mantle of responsibility. In a man’s chart, this suggests he may not know what an empowered woman looks like!

Allied with Pluto, Juno in aspect unites the need for empowerment with the desire for power, with a predictable spectrum of results. In either sex, this may cause the urge to destroy empowered females, and can bring a taste for the dominatrix!

About the Author

Julie Demboski has been an astrologer for 20+ years and currently resides in Seattle, Washington. View her services, her blog, and her books, Chiron in the Natal Chart and The Astrology of Intimate Relationship, available through Dog & Sunflower Press. Contact Julie at: juliedemboski@hotmail.com

The final post in the series is posted at Julie Demboski’s blog: Juno in synastry: Bob Dylan and Joan Baez

Photo of Zeus and Hera on the Parthenon by bram_souffreau under CC License

Don’t know where Juno is in your chart? Find out how to get it for free.

If you’re a woman, you will meet at least some of your empowerment challenges through the matters represented by the house in which Juno is situated. If you’re a man, the subjects of that house will in some way be related to the mate or to partnership.

Juno in the 1st makes empowerment issues very personal; they will feel like a test of the personality you are presenting to the world. These issues may specifically involve situations concerning how much say others have over your physical body.

Juno in the 2nd: Issues of empowerment are directly connected to Self-worth, Self-image, and the ability to earn; here there may be a tendency to see the fidelity (or lack of fidelity) of the mate as more under one’s control than it actually is.

Juno in the 3rd finds communication vital to empowerment; this can make one too vulnerable to gossip and “the grapevine.”

Juno in the 4th gains strength from home and family, but this source of strength may also be your kryptonite if your family members use your power as their own.

Juno in the 5th: Romance, child rearing, and creative expression become canvases on which you sketch your empowerment issues; this can be debilitating for the personal life if your Juno is stuck in the negative.

June in the 6th brings empowerment issues into the everyday and into the workplace. Colleagues may bring out your biggest challenges, as might your employment situation; both can act as barometers for your success at empowerment.

Juno in the 7th is a double whammy, making both the marriage bed and the world-at-large the places where you fight empowerment skirmishes; some days, it will seem like there’s no winning. This can be the Juno position that avoids marriage and commitment or that compulsively engages in relationship, sometimes more than one at a time!

Juno in the 8th: Other people’s assets and resources, and possibly those of the spouse, are crucial to gaining a sense of empowerment for the person with this placement. One can feel too much at the mercy of others for one’s income, support, or sustenance.

Juno in the 9th makes travel, foreign lands, academics, and religion the stage upon which empowerment issues are acted out. This can be the placement of the crusader who tests her empowerment in a broad arena, and perhaps refuses the empowerment challenges offered at a personal level.

Juno in the 10th: Empowerment issues will be played out publicly, possibly within the career. This placement can endow one with the feeling that no privacy is available to the individual, that a true personal life is out of the question.

Juno in the 11th links empowerment to the fulfillment of goals and dreams, but one may feel that too much of one’s power sits with the group to successfully break away and accomplish on one’s own.

Juno in the 12th may keep one’s desire for empowerment hidden, glimpsed only in dreams or in one’s interaction with large institutions. Access is available through meditation, or through developing a deep trust in the Universe.

About the Author

Julie Demboski has been an astrologer for 20+ years and currently resides in Seattle, Washington. View her services, her blog, and her books, Chiron in the Natal Chart and The Astrology of Intimate Relationship, available through Dog & Sunflower Press. Contact Julie at: juliedemboski@hotmail.com

Next in the series: Juno by aspect

Photo of Zeus and Hera on the Parthenon by bram_souffreau under CC License

Don’t know where Juno is in your chart? Find out how to get it for free.

Juno’s placement by sign speaks of the approach a woman should take in empowering herself from the inside out. Positive facets of Juno’s sign will describe how she effectively asserts herself, as well as which positive attitudes and strengths she adopts to make an impact on her world. The negative traits of Juno’s sign manifest as frustration in empowerment, and they take a decidedly destructive bent. In a male’s chart, Juno’s sign describes the traits he finds appropriate in a mate or a partner. It also symbolizes what he may complain about in a mate, when he is less than accepting of his own anima.

In a woman’s chart

Juno in Aries shows leadership potential; she’s a warrior with a purpose. Failure to embrace her innate sense of competence can show as inappropriate anger or hair-trigger temper, or a command to others to follow her lead even though her behavior may be less than inspiring.

Juno in Taurus offers stability and sustenance to others, and exhibits a facility for earning and artisanal pursuits. She’s in danger of caring too much about things, or of hoarding or competing materially.

Juno in Gemini is a networker, adept at handling and disseminating information, and in connecting others; unfulfilled energies show as gossip and an inability to stick to the subject.

Juno in Cancer, empowered, nurtures in a multitude of forms. Disempowered, one clings and manipulates through feeling.

Juno in Leo shines through the identity, acting as example and illuminator. When working the negative, this Juno is too vain to be of aid to others.

Juno in Virgo glories in the details, in organization, in the harvest; on the down side, she may nitpick and communicate only through criticism.

Juno in Libra works with others and emphasizes fairness, but when dysfunctional, she may be passive-aggressive or patently unfair (but with a pretty smile).

Juno in Scorpio finds her element in the depths of the Soul and of experience. Her negative outlet may be destruction that doesn’t discriminate.

Juno in Sagittarius is a pioneer, but always with attention to the accumulated knowledge of society. She is able to reach out intelligently to what is unusual, to educate. Her negative expression is simply running away.

Juno in Capricorn is solid, reliable, practical and organized. Others love her in part because they can rely on her. A poorly functioning Cappy Juno brings chaos wherever she goes.

Juno in Aquarius, actualized, is the intelligent innovator, while the undeveloped one rebels, whether there’s a reason to or not!

Juno in Pisces can unite, commune and inspire. In less positive form, we may see her power seated in delusion or fantasy.

In a man’s chart

Juno in Aries says he wants a mate who can take care of herself, and maybe one who’s boss — and this is his main complaint!

Juno in Taurus appreciates a mate with sensual and artisanal skills, but he may be too focused on what his mate might earn from these skills, or on how these serve his own comfort.

Juno in Gemini needs conversation with his mate to be lively, while the complaint may be of a shallow intellect or too much emphasis on socializing.

Juno in Cancer indicates he wants someone to make a home with, perhaps a partner for mutual nurturing support — or that he wants a mommy.

Juno in Leo wants someone who can ’shine’ in her own right. In the narrow-minded, this devolves into the desire for a trophy wife.

Juno in Virgo wants a true helpmate, someone unafraid to get her hands dirty and be willing to see to the details. On the negative side, he may really want a butler and an accountant.

Juno in Libra wants a true-blue mate and ever-present harmony. In less positive manifestations, insistence on harmony may negate the individuality of the mate.

Juno in Scorpio seeks a deep and intense pairing and can make this a reality — as long as Scorp respects his mate enough not to destroy her.

Juno in Sagittarius is a living conundrum: he wants bachelorhood and a mate at the same time. Unless he’s very considerate, it’s hard to tell the positive of this from the negative!

Juno in Capricorn takes the marital relationship seriously. Taken too far, he may want to box up the mate and put her on the shelf.

Juno in Aquarius likes a free-thinker who’s not afraid to try something new. He may complain, though, when her freedom-loving Self rebels and runs wild into the night.

Juno in Pisces wants a mate who in some way offers a transcendent experience, but her otherworldly nature may irritate him to no end when it’s time to come back to earth.

About the Author

Julie Demboski has been an astrologer for 20+ years and currently resides in Seattle, Washington. View her services, her blog, and her books, Chiron in the Natal Chart and The Astrology of Intimate Relationship, available through Dog & Sunflower Press. Contact Julie at: juliedemboski@hotmail.com

Next in the series: Juno in the houses

Photo of Zeus and Hera on the Parthenon by bram_souffreau under CC License

Don’t know where Juno is in your chart? Find out how to get it for free.

Juno needs your attention. She wants to show you the way to personal empowerment; she also wants to show you particular weaknesses in partnership. As one of the four main asteroids (the others being Pallas, Ceres, and Vesta), Juno has become an integral part of the natal chart, and we need to understand her, since she has been popularly characterized as “The Marriage Asteroid,” a designation that is only sometimes appropriate or desirable. You’ll soon see why.

With the asteroids, one must start interpretation with whatever the name is based on, in this case the Roman version of the Greek goddess Hera (and there is an asteroid Hera, so in defining Juno, we look to Roman sources and stories). That said, we’ll be using the Greek name for her partner and spouse (Zeus), rather than the Roman one (Jupiter), to avoid confusion with the planet.

Our story begins with the marriage of Juno and Zeus; this was a mating and partnership of equals, and as such they enjoyed a three-hundred-year honeymoon of perfect accord, perfect bliss. A honeymoon occurs when two people begin to accommodate, know about, even mold to each other in a very intimate way, and this is possible because they are alone together. By its very definition, a honeymoon occurs outside the world the couple will occupy every day; in this sense, it’s entirely artificial, and this says something about Juno in relationship: perfection can only occur when the relationship is in an unreal state. This is part of why many believe it is a marriage indicator: we find a “perfect relationship,” find solid Juno contacts, let’s get the license! Hold on — once the honeymoon’s over, reality sets in, and with Juno, it ain’t pretty.

Though the marriage of Juno and Zeus is one of absolute equals on a personal level, it occurs within a patriarchal society, one very similar to our own; even Juno, queen of Olympus and all other gods, is subject to the supreme god, her husband Zeus. The societal expectation is that, even within a bonding and partnership of “equals,” the one with the male genitalia is superior. So, when this pair takes their place within the social order, Juno is immediately “less” — and it’s all downhill from here, for two reasons.

One is that Zeus embraces his assumed superiority, and indulges his appetites without restraint; thus he signals to Juno in no uncertain terms that he has respect for neither her nor their marriage vows.

The second is that Juno does not sit idly by and take it; she strives in all her decisions and responses to empower herself (with varying levels of success). She represents the ability of every female to be in charge of her own life, and this is largely what she symbolizes in the female chart (and this is regardless of sexual orientation). Juno shows a woman the energy that she can wield with ultimate authority. However, Juno isn’t empowered within a vacuum, and this is part of her weakness. She can only measure her own state of empowerment through interaction, though she expresses empowerment from the inside out, through her own attitude. (If we’re seeking a sense of pure power and its expression by the individual, we look to more traditional indicators such as the Sun, Saturn, and Pluto, which may be affected by others, but are not dependent on the individual in relation to them.)

There’s another facet to Juno’s power, and that is the clout she gets via her relationship; she wouldn’t be a queen if not for her marriage to a king. It’s why Juno stays in a marriage in which she is openly disrespected through her husband’s repeated infidelities. We must always be aware that Juno’s empowerment comes with interaction, within society; status matters to Juno, because she can derive personal power from it.

In the male chart, Juno suggests what the individual finds “wifely” and/or appropriate for partnership of any kind. It applies as an indicator of the health and status of the internal anima. And there is a particular phenomenon wherein a man may psychically appropriate the female Juno energy of empowerment; it plays out one of two ways, as a male who completely loves and appreciates women (and so is highly attractive to them), or as someone who sees himself as the end all and be all, with an almost Zeus-ian idea of rights and privilege and no recognition that others may hold energies complementary to his own. (Please see my articles Juno: of Dandies and Dictators and Desperate for Power: Aspects of Rod Blagojevich for examples of this commandeering function in action.)

About the Author

Julie Demboski has been an astrologer for 20+ years and currently resides in Seattle, Washington. View her services, her blog, and her books, Chiron in the Natal Chart and The Astrology of Intimate Relationship, available through Dog & Sunflower Press. Contact Julie at: juliedemboski@hotmail.com

Next in the series: Juno by sign: What’s your power style?

Photo of Zeus and Hera on the Parthenon by bram_souffreau; photo of woman by cambiodefractal under CC License

Love, in the words of the song, is a many-splendored thing, but it is hardly true or even desirable that our experience of love ought to be singularly blessed. That is to say, the idea of attraction, the fundamental principle of what it is that draws us into the intimate life of another human being cannot be, and absolutely is not, solely based upon positive qualities.

If you are in love with somebody, and you have moved past the initial stage of simple attraction to them, then undoubtedly this love that you feel is not composed entirely of the wonders that this person projects. If that were true or possible, then we could all love film stars and have no need of real, difficult, messy and all too human relationships. Love is as much about fulfilling our needs, shoring up our weaknesses and compensating for our insecurities as it ever is about existing in a state of perpetual rapture about your partner’s marvelous sense of humor, bone structure or ability to look hot in uniform. Fundamentally, it is about how they make you feel, and if you consider that, then your love for that person will be based equally for the way that they stop you from feeling insecure and negative as it is about how they make you feel secure and positive, too.

Put simply then, this means that our ability to love is based as much on what we need as it is upon what somebody else can give. Ultimately, it ought to be like two pieces of a jigsaw, a compensatory mechanism where your strengths support your partner’s weaknesses and vice versa.

Astrologically, it is clear that Venus alone does not tell us the whole story in the rarefied realms of human love. Mars adds spice and passion, but he too does not complete the picture. The Moon is helpful — she speaks to those deeply habituated needs we have learned — but even under her pale influence we do not yet have the complete formula for this most elusive of elixirs.

True love cannot be made without Chiron.

Chiron is a centaur, a wild and wise being who in our astrology highlights our most untamed weakness and our most supportive potential. It is where we are most vulnerable and most in need of sustenance; so inevitably, if we find some other person who in some way soothes that vulnerability or wound, then they are going to become an intimate acquaintance in some sense, and what could be more intimate than the bond of mutual respect and support that is formed between lovers? By understanding Chiron in our astrology, we can very quickly begin to grasp some of the very fundamental support requirements that are thrown up as a result, and the type of person who might be able to address them.

Whilst an examination of every placement of Chiron would be exhaustive (and exhausting), it is always insightful to look at the placement of Chiron by house in order to understand something about the area of life in which you require the most support from your partner.

Editor’s Note: To find the house placement of Chiron in your chart, visit astro.com. You must enter your exact time of birth and location of birth to get an accurate picture of your houses. Then look for the Chiron glyph, which can be seen at the right. (In this image, it is to the right of the numerals connoting 5 degrees and 3 minutes of the sign in which Chiron is placed.)

First House: Here we are most particularly sensitive to our body image. Our partner needs to be extremely tactful whenever he talks about any aspect of our looks. A lover who is overly fussy or demanding about our appearance is going to create significant difficulties for us later on in the relationship, so it is especially important with Chiron in the First that the relationship is based on more than a simple physical attraction. Here there are issues of self-worth which need respecting and working through.

Second House: Here we require a partner who will take up some of the monetary strain. Natives with Chiron in the Second require a partner who will not be critical of our financial contribution to the household budget, but who at the same time does not belittle or take our contribution for granted. Our values ought to be treated respectfully, and this requires a partner who will listen to our views about what is important to our lives and to our relationship, and take them seriously. More broadly than this however, Chiron in the Second speaks to a theme of security, and not necessarily one of material or financial origin. If we feel insecure in our most significant relationship, this placing will be tweaked and the result will be an ongoing relational crisis.

Third House: Here is a tricky placement, because it puts the foundations of our relationship in the spotlight. Here, Chiron demands that our partner be sensitive to our intellectual insecurities. Maybe we felt that our schooling was lacking, or that we’re not as smart as other people, or even that our actual speech and manner of communicating is awkward or in some sense difficult. Clearly then, for the native with Chiron in the Third, a partner who encourages us to communicate, who is sensitive to our shyness when speaking our thoughts and who never, under any circumstance, corrects us except in the kindest and most sympathetic of ways, is absolutely crucial to the success of the relationship.

Fourth House: In this situation, we have a great deal of sensitivity to the conditions surrounding our home, family and background. We might also have some hidden calamity from childhood to contend with, so this requires careful handling in the context of our relationship. There is a great measure of trust needed here, because the Fourth House rules our most private self, and therefore those things about us and our lives that we are least inclined to share with anybody. Any partner who abuses that trust will quickly destabilize the entire relationship. More than anything, this placement speaks to a need for trust within the partnership.

Fifth House: The Fifth is the house of creativity, children and romance. With Chiron placed here, these themes become especially important within a close union. Our partner should be sensitive to our shyness in expressing our feelings, and our sense that we might be lacking somewhat in our romantic nature. This is a very difficult placement for the more free expression of romantic sentiments, because anyone with Chiron here will really struggle to express it, or even to find it. For this reason, it is best to find a partner who is not going to be put out if they don’t get flowers, who doesn’t care too much for candlelit dinners and long walks along the shore at dusk. If your relationships lack passion, then Chiron in the Fifth is not the easiest place to find it, so choose your mate accordingly!

Sixth House: Here the sensitivity is to work and small, everyday habits and behaviours. There is also an influence on matters of health. Those with Chiron in the Sixth can become quite unwell if their relationship is not supportive. Usually, the result is a tendency to workaholism as a compensating strategy. Of course, that doesn’t help the relationship either, so your partner must be made aware that your environment is especially important. A chaotic, disorganized home kills the romance for Chiron in the Sixth faster than a speeding bullet, so a partner who is capable of doing their fair share of the housework is helpful. But more importantly is one who is sensitive to the small habits, needs and rituals of life and who can give you the space to follow them.

Seventh House: Here Chiron is especially hard on relationship issues, because this is the natural house of marriage. Enormous sensitivity to the partner’s needs and projections is the result, so a self-absorbed, selfish and moody lover is not the way to go here. This placement requires a partner who is both self-sufficient and loving. Unfortunately, because of the Seventh House tendency to outsource, we may simply end up courting the person who is least suited to us, simply out of a need to disown our own pain. Chiron very close to the Seventh House cusp makes an excellent counsellor, incidentally.

Eighth House: Shared resources are stressed here, so every item or issue which is subject to the needs of both parties in the partnership are potential sources of conflict, from the bed to the bank account. This means that both sex and money are likely to create some measure of difficulty, because they will be sensitive areas for one reason or another. A sharing, open and honest partner is essential with this placement, one that is neither too financially uptight nor too sexually impatient.

Ninth House: This is one of the more comfortable placements for Chiron, although religion, qualifications and foreign travel may all cause upsets within the relationship. If you do have any spiritual or religious views, then it’s important that you find a partner who is tolerant and open-minded, otherwise this will make grounds for future conflict. The partner’s family may also be a source of difficulty with Chiron here, and their religious views might also cause some upset within the relationship. Crucially, there is a difficulty here with feeling as free as we would like. Therefore, a relationship that is overly cloying, constricting or repressive will be disastrous.

Tenth House: Matters of career and status are the battleground for Chiron in the Tenth, thus your own career (or conversely, lack of one) will become the focus of some measure of stress and sensitivity within the partnership. Alternatively, a sense that you are of low or insignificant status in life — or even within your relationship — will cause a rift at some stage. Your sensitivity to matters of status and career will need careful handling. A partner who is able to positively encourage your ambitions, to not feel threatened by them and certainly to not denigrate your efforts, is essential to the success of the union.

Eleventh House: Here in Aquarius’ house, there is great sensitivity to the idea of feeling as though you are a unique and individual person, because all too often, Chiron here manifests as somebody who struggles to feel special. Normally this will manifest out onto the collective: groups of friends, the people at the office, the broad family unit. The difficulty of it can play out as a sense that you are simply taken for granted by everyone. Therefore, the last thing you need from your significant other is to feel that they take you for granted, too. A partner who can make you feel special, unique and valued is absolutely essential in this context.

Twelfth House: We tend to suppress whatever is in the Twelfth, which is why those with Chiron in the Twelfth will not easily recognize that they have a great sensitivity inside them. Or it might simply express as a very vague sense of discomfort that somehow colors the entire life experience. There may be a deeply internalized traumatic event associated with this placement, one which the native themselves does not acknowledge or consciously relate to. So, more than most, this position is especially difficult. A tendency to reclusiveness is also a factor here, thus a partner who respects our privacy whilst at the same time demonstrating a willingness to bring us lovingly out of our introspection will be enormously helpful to the success of any relationship.

Chiron in aspect to Venus

Finally, I would like to make mention of Chiron in aspect to Venus, because here there is a psychic correlation between the principle of love and attraction and our deepest insecurity, sensitivity and inner hurt. Any aspect will be difficult in that it will sensitize the affections, creating a difficulty in love. Albeit, it does give a transcendent possibility, if the wound of Chiron can be brought into the light and transformed with compassion.

The conjunction will probably be felt most keenly as the “pain of love.” Perhaps our relationships cause us continual anxiety and uncertainty, or we feel insecure even when we know we should not really. Mostly, with the conjunction it creates an intense longing for love, but crucially, even when love is found, it does not feel secure enough. For this connection, it seems that no amount of love is ever enough. We feel others’ pain and unhappiness, too — especially in close personal relationships — and may tend to take ownership of it, and feel that it is a sign of wrongness in the partnership. We may try to heal those with whom we are in love as a means of avoiding the necessity to heal ourselves, and we might become quite difficult to love as a result. Both Kurt Cobain and Marilyn Monroe shared this aspect.

With the opposition, this tendency is magnified due to the tendency to outright projection implicit in the aspect. Indeed, we often attract the exact type of partner whom we require to outsource our own pain of love, and we may become so hypersensitive in our affections that we have to be wrapped in cotton wool by our lover, who must not ever denounce us or criticize our affections in any way. Thus, with the opposition, our love life will inevitably manifest as long periods of repressed stress punctuated by sudden outbursts of pain and intense upheaval. Of course, with the opposition aspect, we are going to try and attract a partner who balances us in some way, and that might stave off the necessity to fix ourselves for a long, long time. But eventually, the strain on the relationship will begin to show, and we will be forced to face our pain once and for all. Antonio Banderas and Mary Shelley, author of Frankenstein, both evince this aspect.

The trine will demonstrate many of these same issues, but the healing that is required by the contact will come more easily and naturally, and with less upheaval and stress. This does not mean that all will be roses of course, because we still have pain to face up to. But providing we can acknowledge the need to change and heal, this aspect will be very helpful in easing the course. That said, any relationship for the Chiron trine Venus native will demand a great deal of compassionate intimacy. You simply cannot be standoffish or cool in love if this aspect is in your astrology! The sextile too will have something of this quality, although it will be more innate and less easily felt, and almost certainly taken somewhat for granted. Candice Bergen and O.J. Simpson share this aspect.

With the square, our sensitivity becomes a blocking hypersensitivity that creates obstacles to the smooth progress of love and intimacy in our relationships. There is a tendency to avoid intimacy due to our unwillingness or inability to expose our vulnerable core, and we can therefore come across as cold, distant and unloving — which will very quickly put the brakes on much of our relationship potential. This aspect can make us especially high-maintenance, because we demand a partner who can feed our sense of wounded affection whilst we are simultaneously unwilling to give very much in return. Sophia Loren and Dean Martin share this aspect.

The quincunx is rather difficult because our attempt to address our insecurity in love is never quite
right, so we simply feel that something is wrong and we can’t really fix it. Dissatisfaction in love is usually the clear result, therefore, of this particular configuration. The feeling then, in intimate relationships, is one of frustration and annoyance that can never quite be dealt with to anyone’s satisfaction. As ever, awareness of this tendency will go a long way to alleviating it. If you can understand that you have this tendency, then some measure of acceptance can be cultivated to, if not fix it, then at least learn that it is not necessarily a real problem so much as it is a perceived one. Sean Connery and Will Smith share this particularly difficult configuration.

About the Author
Jeremy Neal is a full time astrological counsellor with more than 25 years of experience in dealing with a wide range of life difficulties and potentials. He has a measure of expertise with themes of Chiron and other lesser understood points in the astrology. Read more of his articles on Chiron.

• Venus tells us the nature of our loves, our values, our idea of what relationship is like, and for a woman shows her ‘ideal Self.’
• Neptune points to the character of our life ideals, our spiritual ideals, and our fantasies.
• Uranus hints at our concept of Utopia.
• The Sun describes our Soul needs (which may or may not involve relationship).
• The Moon sings of our emotional needs, Mercury of our communication requirements (and our possible fraternal or sororal ones) and Jupiter of our social ones.
• Saturn suggests what we need to feel secure.
• Mars and Pluto focus on our need to assert ourselves, to express our life energy in the world (including via the urge to reproduce), with Mars describing a man’s ‘ideal Self’ and Pluto suggesting our darker nature, which may have sexual overtones.

Using the natal horoscope, we can cobble together a colorful and relatively full picture of the individual as a passionate Being, but we may miss out on some very important points, namely those indicated by the placement and aspects of the asteroid Eros.

Eros Mythology

Named for the child of Zeus/Jupiter and Aphrodite/Venus — who was the forerunner to our modern day idea of Cupid — Eros is no diaper-clad, arrow-slinging cherub, but a full grown winged god. Eros symbolizes passion, and all the things that can go wrong with it; his own story illustrates many of the points brought forward by the asteroid. Eros was given a quiver of magic arrows by Venus in order to make Psyche — a mortal whom Venus had heard rivaled her in beauty — fall in love with a beast, which Venus believed would cause Psyche to be rejected by humanity. But Eros accidentally cut himself, fell for Psyche, then whisked her away to a hidden lair where he would come to her as her husband at night. Psyche was forbidden to look upon him; if she had, she would’ve known it was a god to whom she was married. The secrecy of their arrangement was to keep Venus from knowing. Venus kept her son Eros close to her, and her refusal to allow him to form bonds with other living Beings brings us to the nature of Eros itself: Eros (and the erotic) are expressions of the sexualizing of someone or something.

Previous to meeting Psyche, poor Eros had fixed his sexual energies on objects, when his mother thwarted his natural inclinations; thus Eros can also indicate fetishism. This introduces a further, important component of Eros — we must choose the erotic object, and that is a mental process, not simply a response to existing passion. Though Eros fixed on Psyche ‘accidentally,’ we must recognize that — though we pretend to have no part in forming erotic attachments — the choices are ours alone. In short, Eros in our charts describes what and whom we choose to have a sexually-charged passion for.

Eros contacts in the natal chart

Eros contacts between partner charts can pinpoint the most exciting parts of the interaction, but Eros’ aspects to other bodies in the individual chart illuminate what we may focus our erotic enthusiasm upon; these are our ‘E’ spots, or, to use an antique phrase, ‘what turns us on.’ Whether the aspect is ‘hard’ or ’soft’ between Eros and other placements may lend a more positive or negative cast to the manifestation, but what’s really important is that contact is made, especially between Eros and the personal planets.

• When Eros touches the Sun, we have someone whose very identity is erotic in nature — he or she may have many passionate attachments expressive of the Soul, or may feel ‘blended’ with and identify themselves as an embodiment of eroticism and passion. (Power, or persons who stand out, who ’shine’ in some way, are the turn on.)
• With the Moon, Eros imbues the emotions with a high degree of passionate intensity, as well as a strong desire to have one’s emotional way. (Remember, Eros married Psyche despite his mother’s objections to her very existence — in this, Eros showed both a healthy desire to break away from parental control, and a dysfunctional and immature insistence on doing what he wanted without the courage to do it openly.) Here, emotions are the turn on.
• Teamed with Mercury, we may see communication that inherently carries a sexual charge (or that carries sexual content or implication, deliberately or not; all exchanges may be the turn on).
• With Venus, we find Eros welcomed, as the love and erotic nature merge, but Eros may be overwhelmed by the requirements of Venus — thus the chosen erotic target may have to have Venusian standards attached and these will be the turn ons, such as great beauty, money, identical erotic preferences, or compatible values.
• With Mars, Eros may bring the erotic into the competitive sphere, or every Self assertion may be tinged with an aura of sexual conquest — even relationships that are platonic. Ego, aggression, even selfishness may be turn ons.

There are many other possibilities; an awareness of the inclinations of the erotic within ourselves can only expand our Self-understanding, and open our nature to new, suitable expressions of passion.

About the Author
Julie Demboski has been an astrologer for 20+ years and currently resides in Eugene, Oregon. View her services, her blog, and her books, Chiron in the Natal Chartand The Astrology of Intimate Relationshipavailable at Amazon.com or through Dog & Sunflower Press. Contact Julie at: juliedemboski@hotmail.com

Find Eros in your birthchart: View the Eros ephemeris at astro.com.