1. Feeding Your Appetite
No doubt you’ve heard that Cancer is a home-making, muffin-baking sign that will do anything to take care of you. There is some truth to this somewhat over-used generalization. The sign of Cancer resonates with the 4th house of home and family. In this realm of life we deal with our basic needs of survival. Is there anything more primal than being with someone who wants to ensure that your needs are met? Are you hungry? Too hot, too cold? Do you need to vent about your day? Your Cancer lover will do what he can to attend to you, body, mind and soul. His instinct to nurture is unparalleled in the zodiac.
When you’re with a Cancer your needs become entwined with his. This is a water sign, after all. Boundaries are fluid–and teasing out whose feelings or needs are whose can be one of Cancer’s greatest challenges. Perhaps this is why he feels such a strong drive to ensure your physical and emotional comfort; it’s also a way of attending to his own, by proxy. Know that your feelings, your needs, and your weaknesses as you perceive them, are all safe in the comforting hearth that Cancer provides through his incredibly caring energy.
One catch is that Cancer can take this caretaking role to extreme dimensions, occasionally losing sight of the fact that you are a sovereign individual who must assume self-responsibility or risk becoming infantilized. Self-responsibility. These words create within Cancer mixed feelings. His major focus on you can distract him from taking care of himself. There’s a secret desire for him to be taken care of too, you see.
Why is he so reluctant to tell you this? Cancer’s totem is the Crab. Notice the path that a crab takes: it’s a zig-zagging, which-way-you-going route. Are you ok? Cuz I’m not sure I am is the unspoken other side of the question. And this is why Cancer has developed a bit of a rep for being passive-aggressive. He’s given himself permission to attend to others, but he must also learn that caring for himself does not make him selfish.
He knows this intellectually, of course, but Cancer doesn’t dwell in his intellect. If you fall for him, you will be wise to take turns assuming the role of nurturer. Over time this can become a sacred balance between you.