Nodal Conjunctions in Synastry: the Downside to a Fated Relationship

Nodal contacts in synastry create a powerful draw between two people. Most powerful are conjunctions between one person’s planet and the other person’s North or South Node. The inescapable, fated connection can be wonderfully overpowering. But sometimes, the exact thing that magnetizes two people can also end the relationship. As profound as Nodal conjunctions are, if these contacts are not handled with care, they can lead to a permanent break.

The Node person feels the primary impact. The planet person will also feel that this is a significant relationship, but the Node person is the one having their past life issues (South Node) or path forward (North Node) activated. Therefore, it’s often (but not always) the Node person who pulls away if things go awry. The scenarios described below are common causes of North/South node relationship difficulties, but they are by no means the only things that can trigger a breakup. The good news is, there are steps that both the planet and the Node person can take to deal with these issues.

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About Nadia Gilchrist

Nadia Gilchrist offers 15 years of experience in Evolutionary and Traditional astrology. Her writings and personal consultations focus on applying astrology and tarot readings with a clear, practical approach to the real world. Nadia blogs regularly at Ruby Slipper Astrology.
 

Comments

  1. Thanks for this post, Nadia. I’ve been giving this one some thought lately. My planets conjunct both the north and the south nodes for my friend. He just conjuncts my south node, but my north node falls in his 7H, not far from his DC and natal moon.

    His north node is conjunct his natal saturn in 10H conjunct his MC in Virgo. I have uranus and pluto in my 12H that conjunct all that. Then his south node is in his 4H, close to his IC in Pisces and conjunct my chiron 6H, and my natal saturn in my 5H is close by. His IC falls between my chiron and saturn.

    My north node in my 9H falls in his 7H which is Taurus/Gemini. His DC is Taurus as is his moon. My NN is 4 deg Gemini. It feels like it’s near enough, I can certainly feel it anyway, but it also feels a bit confusing. My south node in my 3H Sag is conjunct his natal venus in his 1H and close to his AC.

    It feels like there a lot to understand and the way forward is still unclear. Thanks.

  2. My husband and I have a chart that says our true nodes are conjunct within 1 degree. Is that the same as the north node and would it also mean our south nodes are opposite and conjunct? It’s my 7th and his 9th. I would say it seemed like a relationship that always had the potential for “going places” though it took years to get started romantically. It’s also always been very familiar in terms of some similar background.

    I agree that it can be uncomfortable to have north node conjunctions, like the potential is exciting, but you want to avoid flinging yourself with abandon into the unknown. You can feel simultaneously excited and self-protective.

    Thanks for the article!

  3. So interesting. My South Node is conjunct my Saturn in the 7th house, and I’ve had lots of people conjunct it, none of which worked out so well. I’ve always been drawn towards being a single person however, and none of my relationships have lasted more than 2 years, and I never did marry, Maybe its also because my North Node is in the first house, and aI’m a Uranus rising! So, what does it mean having that South Node conjunct Saturn? It’s like having a repulsion and an attraction at the same time.

  4. Sag Rising says:

    This is a great article. It explains one of my relationships to a T. My north node (11th house )was conjunct his Neptune (8th house)I knew it was ‘fated’ when we met. Also, our composite chart shows north node conjunct pluto in the 8th house. Uranus and Venus are also in the composite 8th. We worked together for close to 5yrs. I had plans to continue working together for more years to come and always thought we would be ‘forever friends’. He abruptly ended the working relationship out of the blue. At that moment my gut told me it was over for good between us like a knife in my heart. I was in total shock for weeks just trying to wrap my head around what had happened. I believe now it was probably ‘fated’ that our relationship was to end on some kind of timeline. I would have chosen to continue working with this person(me being the north node person) but he chose not to, and my gut told me since he initiated the split it was not my place to try to beg to continue.

  5. You didn’t mention node-node contacts. Walking my dog daily, I met someone in the periphery of my neighborhood that is nine years three months younger. We have reversed nodes directly conjunct. I was completely enamored by this person and it seemed likewise, as he pursued me and we visited each other often. Three months after our initial rapport, he rapidly distanced himself and acted as if I’d made some major faux pas. We are both gay dudes, but no sex was involved, although it seemed to be going in that direction. I am very attracted to him both physically and mentally and it seemed mutual. That was two years ago and now I occasionally run into him and he’s friendly and polite, but it’s like he’s afraid of me or something unexplainable.

  6. Hi Nadia,

    How many degrees of maximum orb would you consider for node conjunctions in synastry for Sun, Moon, Mars and Venus respectively? And do you use mean node or true node?

    Thank you.

  7. @Kisses
    When working with conjunctions to the nodes, I use a 4 degree orb, max. Depending on the degrees of the planets you listed, they may not all be conjunct your nodes/his nodes.

  8. @Leo
    Yes, if your North Nodes are conjunct, then your South Nodes would also be conjunct. It means that you’re both on similar paths.

  9. @barb
    SN/Saturn indicates heavy past life responsibilities….in some way, you were responsible for the people that you are attracting now (whose planets conjunct your SN). Hence the repulsion/attraction.

  10. @Sag Rising
    Thanks for sharing that. His Neptune conjunct your NN might also have been showing you how to let go (Neptune dissolves).

  11. @mike
    Node/Node contacts indicates you’re on similar paths, and how each person handles their NN path will be important.

  12. @marion
    4 degrees max for all. I use the Mean Node.

  13. Thanks for the reply, Nadia.

    So his NN is 19 Virgo, and my Pluto and Uranus are 17 and 18 deg Virgo. So that’s conjunct. His 10H, my 12H.

    His SN is 19 Pisces 4H. My Chiron is 18 Pisces 6H. So that’s conjunct too.

    My NN is 4 Gemini 9H. That’s outside the orb. But I did react as if it were – I felt pushed and I fled.

    My SN is 4 deg Sag 3H, conjunct my moon 5 deg. His venus is 0 deg Sag, so that’s conjunct too.

    I haven’t looked at other aspects, like squares and trines. These seem to be plenty to be getting on with. It has been years already and it feels like there is more to learn at least, even if I am confused about direction. Thanks!

  14. I think the point you make about needing to arrive at some level of acceptance when the nodal person refuses the lesson of the planet person is crucial. Being able to accept that we ultimately cannot change a person or alter their fate can help save us some pain if our relationship with them doesn’t progress in a positive way.

    I am reminded of this very point while nursing some hurt feelings of my own because of a relationship that I was in was forced to end suddenly. His Sun-Pluto conjuncts my NN while my Mercury conjuncts his NN and my Jupiter conjuncts his SN. While his ability to throw himself head first into our relationship made me uncomfortable it was more so his inability to follow through on promises made and key information that he was hiding from me that put the nail in the coffin. At one point we had to have a talk (Mercury) about it under the recent Gemini Full Moon where I had to tell him honesty was the best policy with me and to not go around saying things just because they sounded good. There had to be substance to those words too (I’m a Cap Mercury). Alas, my words fell on deaf ears because shortly thereafter I did a little snooping and discovered he told me a major lie. What’s funny is he barely knows anything of astrology and when we met he was like we must have known each other in another life. Had to be the only true words he spoke. LOL!

  15. Nadia,

    His True node is in the 12th house, Sagittarius and conjuncts my moon 2H in virgo at 4.37 degrees. What would that mean? I don’t know how to use astro.com for exact degrees or aspects with the south nodes.

  16. fireopal09 says:

    I am a frequent respondent to your incredible articles. If you remember me, you know I blather about Manfriend with whom I was in a relationship 20 years ago and it had reignited a few years ago. His 7th house Virgo South Node Vertex conjunction sits on my Ascendant. My Pisces moon is in the my 7th (too wide an orb to be conjunct his NN and my descendant). I do look at my Pisces moon to help him. This is second nature for me. Also, our Nodes (NN sextile, SN trine) aspect each other. I noticed your earlier response you use the Mean Node. True NNode Cappy in the 4th and Mean NNode Cappy in the 5th makes a huge difference in my book.

    Thank you always being a bad ass, Nadia.

  17. I am always attracted to men who have either their Sun or Mars conjunct my North Node (in Cancer) and I have learned so far I really hate Cancer energy in men, it is too womanly for my taste and relationships turn out to be a mess. I am a girl for Christ’s sake, it is so frustrating when they want me to be the guy in the relationship. It also happens quite often that guys with Capricorn (the sign of my South Node) personal planets are attracted to me, but I only find them friendly, I have never been attracted to that energy.

  18. @GirlGirl
    Thanks for sharing your experiences with us.

  19. @no-perspiration
    The SN is always exactly opposite the NN; it’s the opposite sign, house and degree. The degrees are written on the chart, I think. If your Moon is in Virgo, it would not conjunct his North Node in Sag. In order for them to be conjunct, they would have to be the same sign. Maybe you meant square? Your Moon would square his North and South Node if his Nodes were between 2-5 degrees Sag.

  20. @fireopal09
    You’re welcome. :)
    Yep, 4th house versus 5th house node does make a big difference. I always stick with the Mean Node.

  21. @stardust
    Interesting…there’s something about that Cancer energy that needs to be explored, not necessarily in an intimate partnership (depends on what house your NN is in). For more info on how you can work with Cancer in your life (as part of your NN) look at your Moon (ruler of your NN) and the sign/house it’s in. That’s what you can move towards, for growth.

  22. Sag Rising says:

    Hi Nadia,
    I think you are right on with this. I didn’t ever want to “let go” of this person! After a few yrs of working with this person I found out he was my son in one of my past lives. Makes perfect sense as I always wanted to make sure he was ok and I would worry about him all the time. *sigh* . I also noticed in our synastry that his NN had a wide conjunction to my saturn. This moving on is hard, but I’m doing better than expected. Thanks Again!
    Sag Rising

  23. Hi Nadia,

    First of all, I (still) would like to wish you a happy and successful new year and want to thank you for all your interesting articles in the past.

    I have seen this one only today and I hope it is not too late to put a question because I saw an interesting synastry recently I am pondering over.

    Person A’s Mars conjuncts Person B’s SN plus A’s Pluto also conjuncts B’s NN (SN is in Aquarius /3rd House). How would this scenario turn out?

    I noticed that Person B relies very much on the opinion and decisions of Person A and almost totally lack an own point of view on things. So how could Person B (by his Pluto) also help Person A to evolve the qualities of his NN? What will ‘win’ in the end (Mars/SN or Pluto/NN)?

    Thanks
    Nanea

  24. @Nanea
    Happy New Year to you as well.
    I can’t tell you how this scenario would turn out. First, there’s never any guarantees about the outcome of a relationship. Secondly, I would need to analyze both charts, with transits (which requires a consultation) in order to get a sense of upcoming events. As for which will dominate (SN connection or NN connection) again, this depends on the rest of the charts. Who is more ready to move forward, who is hanging onto the past.

  25. @ Nadia, Thanks a lot for your reply!

    I have just realised that I confused things in my last paragraph :(
    Person A’s natal planets conjunct both the SN and the NN of Person B. Would that mean that the Planet person hinders and helps to evolve the Node person at the same time? Would this also depend on the rest of their charts / transits?

    Thanks

  26. Thank you Nadia. My Moon (NN ruler) is in Aries in my 8th house. I understand that my family issues are represented by 8th Aries Moon, but I don’t know what to do with it to move forward. I got to therapy, I learn astrology and I meditate – maybe that is it? Or should I do something else?

  27. I forgot to add that my NN is the 11th house.

  28. @Nanea
    SN contacts don’t hinder, they are simply reminders of what’s comfortable. It’s up to the SN person to make the discrepancy between “comfortable” and “being held back.” SN and NN contacts mean that Person A has the ability to do both; make Person B feel comfortable and help them move forward.

  29. @stardust
    The 8th House represents intimacy and shared resources. Family issues will be involved, but the overall theme will be sharing with someone else. I can’t make any suggestions on what you should do to move forward without seeing the rest of your chart, but it sounds like you’re exploring some good outlets.

  30. Nadia,

    It would appear that only a square could happen, but I did a synastry chart in astro.com. It’s two charts, his and mine, and it has my second house on the inner wheel of his 12 house, and with the table link it shows you, that’s how I figured out it was a conjunction. I’m starting to think that picking a synastry chart in astro.com is the wrong way because I’m usually in error when trying to learn and apply your articles. Astro.com only offers one synastry chart and the rest, for partners, are composite. I’m going to explore other synastry options…

  31. my partner s north node conj my Asc and his south node my desc. Plus his venus conj my north node…..i ve nver been this attached to anyone in my life. It s like a soul mate thing..if this exists at all.

  32. Thanks a lot for your reply, Nadia.

  33. GracieKate says:

    My NN(it’s in Scorpio) square his venus and his NN(in Cancer) sextile my sun.

  34. PiscesPrincess says:

    Hi Nadia, thanks for another brilliant article! So interesting!
    Just wondering, would south node conjunct ascendent be the same kind of energy as conjunct a planet?
    Tanya

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