Timing is (almost) everything in relationships. If you want to hash out an issue or broach a touchy subject, knowing how receptive your partner is (at that moment) can make all the difference. Sometimes it’s difficult to know where your lover is at, and that’s when astrology can help. Certain transits and progressions will encourage a person to shut down, or be less interested in commitment. And transits and progressions are temporary. Of course, you always have to start with the natal chart — some people will never be ready to commit. But sometimes, it’s simply a matter of waiting out an influence.
The Progressed Moon in Aries: Me First
The Progressed Moon represents a person’s evolving needs. When it changes signs, there can be an obvious shift in what your partner is able to give, or what they want from you.
When the Progressed Moon moves from Pisces into Aries, the shift can be dramatic. When their Moon is in Pisces, your partner may be more willing to accept whatever you need (Pisces does not have strong boundaries). But once their Moon moves into assertive Aries, they may lose patience and become focused on what they need. They’ll need to be first, and they’ll need freedom. This will be especially noticeable if your partner has emphasized Aries or Mars in their chart. The Progressed Moon in Aries is associated with the urge to start something new, and if a person is feeling restricted in their relationship, they can abruptly leave. Note that this is only likely if they have doubts about the relationship to begin with. The Progressed Moon spends two to three years in each sign.
This is not the best time to: give ultimatums (unless you want to push your partner out the door).
The Progressed Moon Square Natal Saturn: Not Now
The Progressed Moon forming a square to natal Saturn (in any sign) is a time when your partner may be feeling less open or supportive. Their evolving feelings (Progressed Moon) have run up against internal limits or fears (Saturn). The square applies tension, and your partner may feel “squeezed” or depressed. As a result, they won’t have much to give you. This seems to be especially true for men with female partners (perhaps because the Moon represents female energy). If your partner is closed off, take that as a cue to be emotionally self-sufficient, then see where they’re at once this influence is over. Fortunately, this aspect only lasts one to two months.
This is not the best time to: lean on your partner for extra support, or attempt to move your relationship to the next level.
Saturn Transits: I Can’t
While some Saturn transits can increase your partner’s readiness to commit, when the planet of reality forms hard aspects (especially the opposition or square) to their Sun, Moon, Venus or Mars, they’ll be feeling blocked, frustrated or pressured. Where that pressure comes from will depend on what house transiting Saturn is moving through. Your lover will be confronted by external rules or authority. Maybe they’ll be feeling less than attractive or sociable (Saturn square or opposite Venus). Maybe it will seem as if every action they take is wrong (Saturn square or opposite Mars). The point is, if the issue you’re looking to resolve can wait, you probably don’t want to add to the pressure. Saturn transits to a natal planet can last from three months to one year.
When transiting Saturn is moving through your partner’s 12th House, it will be a major transition. This transit can be associated with relationship endings, because it always indicates that a major part of their life is finished. Your partner will start a new chapter when transiting Saturn passes over their Ascendant. It’s not always a relationship that’s left behind; 12th House Saturn transits only draw a line under what is no longer valid. The quickest way to make your relationship a thing of the past is to deny that your partner is moving forward.
This is not the best time to: resist the new direction your partner’s life is taking.
Uranus Transits: Let Me Go
This is the transit that people most often associate with relationship endings, and for good reason. When Uranus makes hard aspects (conjunction, opposition or square) to your partner’s natal Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars, or passes over their 1st or 7th House cusp, they will want to free themselves from personal limits (that may involve your relationship)… immediately. Hard Uranus transits create tremendous restlessness and dissatisfaction with the status quo. Your partner will respond negatively if you try to limit them. Obviously, you have to to set boundaries if (for example) your partner’s Venus is being opposed by Uranus and they want to experiment with open relationships (and you have no interest in doing that). But if you’re dating and hoping for an engagement ring, a man with Uranus transiting over his 7th House cusp is not likely to propose. He’ll be more interested in leaving his options open. Sometimes, Uranus transits can trigger impulsive romantic choices (such as eloping or a spur of the moment engagement) but you have to put it in the context of what has happened between the two of you so far. A hard transit from Uranus will usually push your partner in the opposite direction of what has been. Uranus transits to a planet or angle can last just over a year.
This is not the best time to: attempt to stabilize your relationship.
The above is written under the assumption that you actually want to preserve your relationship. Sometimes these influences are the out you’ve been waiting for. And obviously, if your partner really wants to move on, there’s nothing you can do to stop them. But you can stack the deck in your favor by knowing when to push, and when to back off.
- Your Personal Lunar Phases: The Cycle of Your Relationships
- Uranus and the 7-Year Itch
- The Saturn Opposition and Your Love Life
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