The Astrology of Open Relationships

The current “relationship norm” in Western culture (for most people) is that commitment and monogamy go hand in hand. You have one sexual partner per relationship, and deviating from that is considered cheating. However, some people embrace a different kind of normal — they practice polyamory (open relationships), because the structure of a traditional relationship does not work for them. What’s the astrology of someone who thrives in an open relationship?

First, let me clarify what I mean by open relationships. I’m not talking about someone who goes behind their lover’s back, and has sex with someone else. Polamory.org has a succinct definition: “…having multiple relationships with the knowledge and consent of your partner(s)…” People in open relationships are able to love, and be in love with, more than one person at a time. There’s a wide variety of poly relationships, but the most common “rules” involve honesty, frequent and open communication, and attention to personal boundaries. This is pretty much what you’d expect from a monogamous relationship, except the addition of multiple partners makes emotional and mental flexibility a must.

I did an unscientific survey of a number of charts (from clients and celebrities who are known to practice polyamory) and found some commonalities. I’ll  describe them, but first, here’s a disclaimer: if someone has the sign/planet combinations in this article, it does not mean they are destined for poly relationships. As always (I think I have stated this in almost every article) natal potential can manifest in different ways. Having said that, there are some astrological signatures which seem to make a person more open to the idea of open relationships. Note that the charts I looked at had at least two (or more) of the characteristics described below.

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About Nadia Gilchrist

Nadia Gilchrist offers 15 years of experience in Evolutionary and Traditional astrology. Her writings and personal consultations focus on applying astrology and tarot readings with a clear, practical approach to the real world. Nadia blogs regularly at Ruby Slipper Astrology.
 

Comments

  1. Intriging subject again, Nadia
    My Juno is in Gemini and my partner’s Juno is in Sagittarius, in exact opposition by degree.
    We are both candidates for open relationships. I have never considerd the influence of Juno. Thanks to your article i do now.
    I believe, that Juno in Gemini and Juno in Sagittarius are providing alot of freedom of expression.
    So there is no interst in open relationship, no need for variety outside our bond.
    We have independently came to the same conclusion: each of us could be happy on our own. But together is more fun. We are very free and independent within the relationships of two. I believe actually that 1+1=3. I have me, my partner is there and us. I am so full of me, he is constantly changing, evolving. We are evolving and life is sooo full of surprises, that i just wonder how people manage to be involve in open relationships?

    It is true about Aquarian influances. I have known two men. One Gemini Sun male with Mars and Ascendant in Aquarius. His dream was to have open relationship. He did succeed with finding a partner wich was open herslf about it. Another Sagittarian Sun male with Venus, Mars, Ascendant all in Aquarius ( Venus conj. Asc), was very successfully experimental with different partners while remaining single, but dreaming about one perfect partner.

  2. curious757 says:

    Even if a person has aspects of Uranus in their chart, whether that is Asc, Sun/Moon/Mars/Venus ect, or even the Gemini/Sagittarius placements prominent, Leo strong energy for expression and overabundance of “love”,
    i believe no matter what, that it all depends on the person’s upbringing and values and what they’re taught in life.

    Would not Aries/Libra be in this page as well, as they are also the “relationship” axis? Expression of “self” love and love of “relationships”?

  3. Wow Nadia,

    Im a sag sun, conjunct uranus in the 5th house. I also have 5 other planets in the 5th house and moon in scorp conj uranus in the 5th. Uranus is my most aspected planet. If I count my juno in sag, its more aspected than uranus.

    Funny thing is, im always always the other women in these open relationships. Sometimes I feel like juno is the mistress asteroid and not the marriage one. Lol

    I myself am not n2 open relationships, my scorp moon and venus sq pluto is way too territorial, but it never fails that I am always approached to be the mistress.

  4. curious757 says:

    I went to go look at the history and the astrology chart of Brigham Young, the biggest polygamist in history, he had 55 wives. My goodness. That’s alot of wives. But in his biography he stated that upon being taught about plural marriage, “It was the first time in my life that I desired the grave.”
    I guess the drama was too much. He was Gemini Sun, Aquarius moon, Virgo Asc, and his dominants are Virgo, Leo, Gemini.
    I guess because Leo Jupiter/Saturn in his 12th house was prominent.

  5. I have always worked with people. The last job was in the long existed, very busy pub. There were alot of conversations going on. It became almost a philosophy club with big amount of steady customers.
    I was surprised about one thing, that in general men were the ones wich were initiating the topic about relationships and love…and sex. Were there alot of sense in their conversations? Not always, many many contradictions instead, but i was a good curious listener and paid close attention to what was going on, to what was said and done.
    There are many many people,men and women, which are experiencing open relashionship in many different ways. Some older men do not make the secret about it in public. In the company of their wife, they are very respectful; their wifes do know, that their husband is having another partners.

    Young men (till the age of thirty) are completely delusional about it. The time i was working there, the trend and motto among them was – the open relationship. The meaning behind it was – to have so many women as possible, be open about it, make women they encounter accept it, like it is something new, they are males have invented. But in practice it worked different untill someone got their feelings hurt. They simply could not handle the competition, like in the case scenario, when few men were chasing one woman. So many broken hearts :) when they got rejected by one woman, even when they were dating few. There is no acception for females, do not like rejection by one male, even when they are dating few males. Or when woman was acting independently, saying she did not mind few partners, males were mostly intimidated and even afraid to approach her.
    And steady couples, which were having long term open relashionships, i knew about,- they gave a very confused, disharmonious impression. Or i saw quite an amount of a pretending in their behaviour, acting happy but not really convincing. I have not met a couple yet which were in open relationships and had a happy, happy viberation around them
    And there are many people prefering to stay single, experiencing, as good as it gets.
    May be there are, as many people as many relationionships and philosophies to it?

  6. @Sag 24/7

    ” my scorp moon and venus sq pluto is way too territorial, but it never fails that I am always approached to be the mistress”
    Amazed me, that you have said it. I am sharing the same experience. Made me think about ruler of my 7th house – Pluto, squaring my Venus. Since my teenage years i was approached to be a mistress. I look back now, made me so confused, made me almost believe, that there is something wrong with me. I know few men with Venus square Pluto, the same thing, just were not taken serious by women. One of them is unfortunately convinced that his destiny is to be a temporary lover.

  7. @Tatyana
    Thanks for sharing. That’s another, interesting topic, btw…Juno in synastry. Juno connections say a lot about how two people will commit (or if they will commit to each other).

  8. @curious757
    I didn’t see as much emphasis on Aries/Libra in the charts I looked at, but then again, I did not analyze thousands of charts. However, I have a feeling that an emphasis on these two signs in the charts might make a person too competitive/jealous to handle an open relationship. Both want to be first.

  9. @Sag24/7
    Being the other woman is the other side of the Juno/commitment coin. Juno felt constantly threatened by her husband’s mistresses, so it’s interesting that this particular energy has come out in your chart.

  10. @Tatyana
    Oh yes, I agree. There are far more relationship models than most people want to acknowledge. Each sign approaches relationships in a different way, so how can one or two ways be “correct”?

  11. @curious757
    I wrote about Brigham Young in my article on Venus retrograde “When Venus Hides Her Face: Venus Retrograde in the Natal Chart.” He had Venus Rx, which I’m sure also had something to do with his lifestyle.

  12. curious757 says:

    @Nadia,
    it does seem to be a majority of Masculine energy/signs that enjoy this kind of “freedom” of expression. It seems very patriarchial. Lack of female energy, nurturing, vs. male energy power and domination.
    but i could be stretching. Also, those wanting these types of open relationships seems to lack a powerful Saturn (restriction) energy.

    I’ll check out the article on Brigham Young, that sounds interesting. Thanks.

  13. curious757 says:

    @Nadia, heyyyy, I recognize the article from a year ago, “When Venus hides her face.”

    I enjoyed reading it back then too; it’s a good catch up and reminder.

  14. @ curious757

    “Also, those wanting these types of open relationships seems to lack a powerful Saturn (restriction) energy. ”

    Wanting anything does not have to mean, that you have shortcomings of any kind ( lack a powerful Saturn). Wanting to experience anything does not mean it has to be justified by someone or social norms, ‘rights’ and ‘ wrongs’.
    Saturn’s restrictions are necessary only untill certain stage of experience to overcome our incompatibilies. Those incompetibilities ( which are to find in the sign and house placement) in most of the cases are prone to go extremes in their expression in the early stage of making the acquaintance with Saturn lessons.
    And yes, everyone of us surely went to extremes of any kind, each one of us in own personal way.
    And it is everyone’s right to do so. Only then each one us becomes a strong individual speaking the truth out of own experience and not the truth placed in your head by father, mother, teacher, minister etc…Truth placed in your head by someone else it is the real resriction of expressing freedom.

    In the later stage after having experienced what we call Life, we are less prone to do extremes: running like crazy after desires versus cautious to speak our mind, fear of undertaking/not giving permission to yourself to experience anything.
    Saturn incompetibilies might become our perfect skill and a great strength. And may be there are some volks wich will find the way ( or have already found), and harmony, beauty and love in something what we call “open relationship”, whatever it means….

    Do not misunderstand me please. I am not opposing you, just sharing my thoughts.

  15. I have to disagree with the lack of Saturn. I have venus in capricorn and venus sq saturn, but still I approached to be the mistress. I think the placements that I described may even make me more of a ccandidate for these types of relationships.

    I used to date a sag with a venus in Capricorn and he wanted me to go into swinging with him. I declined lol.

  16. That sag n question also has saturn in the 7th

  17. curious757 says:

    Maybe you’re right or wrong about having a LACK of saturn strength…

    but I strongly believe that have a saturn strength is beneficial.

    And you, Sag 24/7 who have a Cap venus, and approached to be a “mistress”,

    don’t know, never have been approached in my life to be one. I guess they’ll get an earful from me, or something. I dont know.

    I don’t know if i give off that vibe or feeling but I am no. 1 in my eyes, and if my man is going to love me, he will love only me and I will love only him. There is no room for anyone else. It’s selfish I guess in the eyes of others but don’t care.

  18. curious757 says:

    @Tatyana,

    have no clue about those unhappy couples that pretend to be happy. Something must have happened along the way.

    Perhaps they married because they THOUGHT they were the ideal types, lust at first sight and not figuring out if they were TRULY compatible. Many couples come together because of lust, and because it either suits them. I dont really know, i’d have to actually see them and meet them, and really act out like Dr. Phil sitting in an interview seat. That’s all I can figure out.

  19. I dont think its about being right or wrong. This isnt a test. The whole chart has to be taken into account. :) looking at one factor is like neglecting the impact of others.

    Even when studying twins, same chart but the external enviornment still plays a major role in how the chart is played out.

  20. @curious 757

    You have misunderstood me, because you have not read attentively what i have said f. It is one connected story from beginning till the end.
    I have said it about steady couples having open relationship:
    “And steady couples, which were having long term open relashionships, i knew about,- they gave a very confused, disharmonious impression. Or i saw quite an amount of a pretending in their behaviour, acting happy but not really convincing. I have not met a couple yet which were in open relationships and had a happy, happy viberation around them”

    I am sorry, but i will say to you, that you have missed my point completely. You are deffinitely not obliged to do so. I just believe that the whole point of communication: to do your best to make your point as clear as possible and pay attention what have been said, if you are choosing to read.

  21. Btw. all my comments had one referent point: the article of Nadia Gilchirst ” The Astrology of open relationships”. She represented interesting topic. We are guests here, sharing thoughts. There are no rights and wrongs. Peace:)

  22. I meant ” reference point ” :)

  23. I have no problem with poly..I believe people used to call it DATING. Because that is what it really is. Can we stop calling poly marriage? It’s dating after signing off for marriage. It’s taking the easy way out of having to stay committed to the one person you signed up to spend your life with. You want big love? Don’t get married. Have your lifestyle with as large of a family as you desire. But please stop calling it marriage. Marriage is the commitment of 2 people of any gender to eachother. Every person I know (and I mean over 50 personally) in a poly marriage is just going through the motions, not admitting they aren’t being physically and emotionally fulfilled with the person they married. They don’t want to admit they shouldnt have married who they did and instead of owning the truth they go poly to spend as little physical and emotional time with that person as possible, which magically saves “their marriage”.

    Can we stop lying to ourselves? Please? Just for a little while?

  24. curious757 says:

    @Tatyana, I knew exactly what you meant.
    Tasha said it best, and much more eloquently than I could.

    A couple sometimes doesn’t have that luck to connect right at the beginning.

  25. I do understand what Tasha is saying. Very well eloquently said indeed. You described the common scenario of mediocrity, when people are lost touch with themselves and with the partner they are married. And then there are alot of lies. Lying for what ever reason – it’s just not taking responsibility for your deeds and eventually not carrying responsibility for your life.
    There are as many people as many love / life stories, very truthful stories which do not always involve marriges, but do fall in category of open love relationships. Open relationship do not necessary mean monogamy – polygamy right the way. Very often it’s more intricate then that.
    Like one man, with ” storm” in his eyes is full of “magic” magnetism and energy. He wanted to stay by one partner, he could not. He was tortured inside, but walked away from woman he loved, cause he did not want to lie, he knew he would destroy her ( very short version of the story)
    I was lucky people have trusted me to share their beautiful love tales, all very very different and truthful. I was lucky to meet them in different countries, all ages and cultures, all backarounds.
    Why am i telling this?
    People are free to express themselves. I am personally have had a very colourful single life. So eventually i wanted to be in one to one relationship, just like Curious757 said:
    “in my eyes, and if my man is going to love me, he will love only me and I will love only him. There is no room for anyone else.” I also belive in the beauty of sacred union of two.
    Some people are living so, i am daring to say, mysterious lifes you can not place them anywhere.
    I was facinated by them, their secrets. They are real people, on the path of discovering their true nature. I was and still am inspired by them in so many different ways.
    My share in this topic, is that there are so many “trues” in the world, as long as people are truthful according to their real nature. I believe our real human nature is” magical” we know very little about and sexual magnetism is part of it, but it is another topic.

  26. Open relationships are quite taboo

  27. Sag24/7
    It is…a taboo. Even a understanding of taboo, it’s a funny thing. Open reationship came out of nowhere like french are saying: ” l’air du temps” – Something in the air..Open relationship have started in the sixties with Flower Power, Woodstock etc., when young people have said to their parents: “I will to go to bed with my partner first. I will see if i like how my parner tastes, feels…etc. And then i will find out to get married or not”. Others are started labeling it. Within the labels they are starting recognizing the patterns. And there is a place, where confusions have started: some people are just following the trend brainlessly:
    – I will do it too. I will jump with bed with anybody willing!
    Another people are startinf judging it:
    – O, where it’s all going?
    There are always extremes from both sides of the story. I really do not know, where it’s all going. Personally i can start vomiting from disgusting conversations about sex and porn. But i might have the same reaction to people judging all the time and pointing fingers and gossiping.
    I am inspired by people wich are have found their way of their personal expression, whatever it is. May be they sleep with the whole world. And make everybody happy with their eroticism
    I respect people of harmony and beauty in their expression in open relationship.
    We shall see, are not we?
    I have said enough, am i not? :)
    Cheers everyone!

  28. P.S. I made a mistake. I meant to say
    I respect people of harmony and beauty in their expression in open relationship Or Not in open relationship.

  29. curious757 says:

    alot of things in this world is taboo.

    so, are you going to cross the boundaries and explore that?

    Just saying, loads of stuff are taboo, which i won’t say on this forum, and you and i know that laws and limitations are what keep society and humanity in place and running smoothly.
    And to keep our children and families safe.

    That’s all i need to say on that realm.

  30. curious757 says:

    As for the 60s wildchild flower power bs, that’s because, in my pov, that the world finally brought out “truths”, truths that were always hidden in society. The prequel to the Age of Aquarius, which is usually about unveiling what’s ugly and what needs to be purged (Uranus activated), and sometimes, their expressions came off a bit much, but in that era it was necessary. I dont know, wasn’t born at that time, just saw photos and read up on it.
    People have always done these things throughout history, it’s nothing really new.

  31. curious757 says:

    to be honest, i’m not quite knowledgable about that era, but from wiki, it says it was a “non-violent” ideology. I can understand why, since there were wars going on, and people explored drugs (Neptune depths) because it was so harsh and cruel and the era was moving away from the safety and security of mother/father, home life and peace. After WWII, you had that window, but it wasn’t even peaceful then because of the 50s racism in North America. I guess it was just that people were getting fed up.

  32. One thing i absolutely do not believe in is law and limitations. Children, families safety do not believe in those either. I know we can go on about it on and on….
    We are living in fear based third dimentional consciousness and yeah laws, safety are the protective mechanisms in our society. We are so wel protected, makes my guts sick. It’s all too smooth, one big mediocrity, staying in the box, scared to death society to be inviduals with own thoughts and especially scared to death to act on your own truth. Why? Because it’s not safe! Sick of it!
    People Were Not fed up. They are fed up now. It’s all changing now. I am convinced we will get out of this mess and shift in to another state of consciousness peacefully and gacefully. Everyone is Free to do what ever they like as long as there No Power, Control, Domination, Slavery, Entitlement, Advantage,, Competition in there intentions in interactions with other human beings. Again, it’s entirely different conversation.

  33. @curious 757
    I must admit you got me there
    With all do my respect: Are you crazy? No one is safe in this crazy system. Look what we have created!
    Safe…. Yep, as long as you are working as a slave, you are safe. Safe from who? From banks, wich are so kind do not throw you out of your house, untill you have not paid your morgage or rent, in case you lost your job
    O yeah , we have very safe social security system, which will support untill you become a slave again with new dominator above you, your so called Boss. You are you own Boss? Good for you! Survive, pay for everyrhing on time! Otherwise they knock on your door: Oeps, your house is going on realstate market . You are broke. Your buisnees plan was not good enough. Sorry….
    Ofcourse, what you are thinking.” I am well prepared, i am taking everything in to consideration. I am in control with my well placed Saturn”.
    I am doing vey well myself. Still, i can not switch off my brain, i can not close my eyes. I do not want to search for security in the world wich is just fine and safe all along, if people would just were not afraid to speak, hear, act on truth. And if you do not realize what kind of truth i am talking about, so may be you just should start breaking your own boundaries. May be there are just too many.
    It’s not right. You know, it’s just Not Right to pay for ground under your feets! The Earth it’s not for sale! WE are not for sale! You do not have to be genious or revolutionary or rebellion to understand the simple truth, which is just a simple common sense. Think about it.

  34. curious757 says:

    @Tatyana,
    I understand. No one is really well prepared, anything can happen. But, at least plan these things out so your children’s future is secured. Even then, we can’t predict anything or “control”it, we can’t really manipulate our environment. For example, we can create our gardens to be how we imagine them to be, we can create skyscrapers and build solid walls and ways to prevent heavy winds from blowing them down. We can design our own clothes, imagine how it fits and feels. There’s so many things in the world that scares us. It is sometimes a crazy system, and in the developed countries, we have to believe in it. If we don’t believe in ourselves that people we place up there to make these laws to protect us, than what do we have? we can’t stop believing in the system. Isn’t that what the 11th sign is all about? Hopes and dreams and wishes? We can’t fight for freedom if we don’t have the limitations that go with the sign BEFORE, and that is with having the strength of Saturn. And believing in our dreams, and happiness, that doesn’t happen without the sign BEFORE the 12th . Everything is connected.
    We can agree to disagree, but alot of people need the security and safety that helps them sleep at night. Even when you fall in love and dream of a happy marriage, just two people respecting matrimony for what it is, we fight to hold on to security. We want to keep our loved ones near and dear to us safe to our chest. I don’t know about you, but it’s worked for plenty of people who have lived good marriages to see their 75th anniversay and died knowing that their children are going to be fine.
    I don’t even know what we’re arguing about anymore. But people have always been fed up, in general, it’s nothing new. You dont think that another generation is going through the same motions? What about the baby boomers? We’re lucky to be living in a time where we can speak out, and also living a free world. (of course with limitations) Everything has rules and regulations. It’s just how it is.

  35. Open relationships are taboo in that when they are done with deception or cheating its a problem. I think the article from Nadia is actually quite progressive, which is why I felt comfortable enough to comment.

    The downside to open relationsships is the cheating and it hits home to a lot of people who were unknowingly involved in an open relationship. I.e. they got cheated on or found out their partner was living a double life.

    I think on the show Taboo, a guy had 2 partners and had kids with both. Everyone lived under the same roof.

    I am quite intrigued with open relationship s. As a child of jupiter and lunar scorp, expanding my knowledge base about taboo subjects such as this really floats my boat. Id like to hear from those who r in a open relationship, so interesting.

  36. For some time, I was a member of a swinging community. As a single gal, I was in high demand. I wasa novice to it and at times it was way over my head. Its actually pretty complicated in what couples want.

    I wish I was into astrology back then. I know that a tauri guy intoduced me to it. Very much arian.

    For awhile, I was with one couple. It was up to either one if they wanted to stop.

    The sex parties were WHOA.

  37. @curious 757
    I have enjoyed the conversation :)

  38. Lol! I have Sun/Neptune conjunct Juno in Sag and an Aquarius Moon conjunct my DSC. I am a supporter of polyamory though I have never participated in an official polyamorous relationship. I also had plans to visit a swingers club with my ex but the plans never came to fruition because of scheduling conflicts. Like Sag 24/7, I’ve played the other woman from time to time and have had multiple men that I was dating all at once. However, my taste for open relationships tends to show up in my craving for a committed relationship that will allow me ample personal freedom…the stamp of Uranian freedom within structure…but I tend to often attract men who try to boss/control me…which inevitably sends me fleeing. Lol!

  39. Oh…I also have Mars square Uranus so that adds an extra layer of sexual “eccentricity.” Or electricity…same difference. Lol!

  40. NewlyWedLibraLady says:

    Open Relationship was a hot button issue for my Aqua Man and I when I joked about it. I was only kidding but OMG he was mad at me for hours LOL

  41. @Nadia Gilchrist

    What happens when the person shares heavy influence between Sag and Scorpio placements? Do these just represent contradictory urges? How are these reconciled?

  42. Tatyana
    “Some older men do not make the secret about it in public. In the company of their wife, they are very respectful; their wifes do know, that their husband is having another partners.”

    Sag24/7
    “The downside to open relationsships is the cheating and it hits home to a lot of people who were unknowingly involved in an open relationship. I.e. they got cheated on or found out their partner was living a double life.”

    It seems that both you and others think that “open relationships” and “multiple partners” are synonymous. Any time there is cheating, there are multiple partners. But cheating is NOT open! If you don’t KNOW you are in an “open” relationship, then it’s not truly OPEN. Open relationships mean you are in committed relationship with one person and you or they either date other people or are committed to another. If YOU believe you’re in a monogamous relationship and your partner has sex with someone else, that’s CHEATING. Your cheating partner MAY or MAY NOT want an open relationship. Some people buy into the idea of monogamy and cheat anyway.

    That doesn’t mean that polyamory people or those in open relationships don’t cheat or can’t. But I would bet it’s a liiiiiittle less likely because their ideals and beliefs tout being open and honest about their sexual needs and desires.

    That also means that a man who has a mistress or affairs that his wife KNOWS about, isn’t really an open relationship. Juno knew about her husband’s affairs and it pissed her off to no end. Many women, like Juno, decide their position as this man’s wife is more important than fidelity because of the status and/or wealth. Many, if not most, of these women did not agree to HIS infidelity when they got married (as they’re often not allowed to do the same). And almost ALL who accept do so because the man IS in a powerful position and DOES offer status and money. If he didn’t, you’d bet they’d drop him as soon as they found out about the other woman.

    So even when she knows and “accepts” this situation, I still don’t consider it to be an open relationship because these married couples almost never identify their relationships as such (they don’t use the actual words “open” or “polyamory”). For me, that makes a big difference because it illustrates a couple’s actual beliefs and perceptions. Plus, as you say Tatyana, a couple such as a husband with a mistress, both husband and wife are usually not fully in love anymore.

  43. On topic to the astrology of it, I have about half or more of these aspects. My Juno is in Cancer but in a tight opposition from Jupiter. I have a very strong Uranus in Sagittarius conjunct my Descendent and tightly opposite my Sun conjunct Ascendent. There’s more Gemini influence as I also have Venus, NN, and Chiron in Gemini in the 12th House with Mercury in Taurus in the 12th House (so Venus rules my 12th in mutual reception with Mercury). I don’t have any big Leo aspects except Leo on the IC, but I do have Sun conjunct Venus by 4 degrees.

    The parts of my chart that counterpoint these “open” aspects are the legs (or is it arms?) of my Sun-Uranus yod with Jupiter in Capricorn and Saturn/Mars conjunction in Scorpio. Saturn/Mars trine Juno in Cancer and the Moon and Vesta also lie in Cancer. The only fire in my chart is Uranus, descendent, IC, and Ceres and only 1 of 4 of these usually gets “counted”. Overall, I have almost as much water as air and my chart ruler, Mercury, (usually considered my weakest planet) is in earth.

    What does that mean in my life? I have had an interest in BDSM for about 5 years now and have learned a great deal about polyamory because of it. (it’s been an intellectual and emotional interest but I have not practiced it). I admire those who are aware enough to be polyamorous but I only have so much love to give. That goes against what a lot of philosophical and/or self-help guru stuff has stated about love but I think it’s really about Saturn’s limits.WeI only have so much time and energy in this life and with my strong Uranus and 12th house, a lot of mine is going to be spent on myself. I NEED space and alone time. I truly can’t give enough time and energy to more than one sexual or romantic partner in addition to friends and family (who thankfully require less). Added to that, my watery moon and mars require some depth when I am with my partner. I need some serious emotional intimacy. My desire for trust, honesty, and emotional intimacy is the main reason why BDSM interests me (the power/control issue is the method for me, not the sadomasochism).

    Jealousy is talked about a lot for Scorpio (and possessiveness for Taurus) but I haven’t had enough experience with it to be sure of my reaction. I have only imagined that I would walk away in a heartbeat, no matter the amount of love, status, or wealth because the trust has been broken. Often we see people who come through that trust issue of the cheating but I’m fairly sure my standard of integrity wouldn’t allowed for less.

    And here’s something for thought about the genders since that popped up here. The Colbert Report had an author, Daniel Bergner I believe, on in June talking about his new book What Women Want. The psychology studies and theories he talked about illustrated that women may be just as “wired” for multiple partners as men (if not more). Now evolutionary psychology tends to be very simplistic and blame-shifting (speaking as a psych major here) but I thought it was an interesting take on why women take longer to have orgasms and why they are likely to be multiple-orgasmic (because they’re supposed to go from one man to the next in a single encounter!). Many psych studies are on college students since that’s where they’re conducted and the college scene, for women as much as men, is about hooking up. So there is evidence for and against women being as likely as men to want multiple partners. How much of it is societal though? Women are not “supposed” to want it as much as men but neither can they dictate the dating terms when colleges have many fewer males than females.

  44. @ Tora
    Wonderfully written! I personally enjoy a lot, when people are dare to tell their personal tale.
    I resonate with you on “trust issue”: Often we see people who come through that trust issue of the cheating but I’m fairly sure my standard of integrity wouldn’t allowed for less.”
    Also i support you on those researches…You know, when i hear about all those scientific research on human sexuality, i am hmm ….i even do not want to go in to it. We can use different researches for the reference points, but we are doomed if we rely on those researches without using own senses. The only evidence we have in life is our own Life and our own experience. And everybody is free to experience according to their wishes. The key and the guiding line in all of multiple experiences is our own awareness.
    Your interest in BDSM is connected to this awareness. Here we come to the Kingom of Unspoken. There are no words in this Kingdom, just feelings..and our own, most personal, most intimate experience. And NO ONE is allowed to explain for us in the terms of what is and what is not…appropriate etc..etc. I am personally fascinated with beauty and esthetics of expression, which is in my world unxeplainable. Just “beauty in the eyes of the beholder”. It’s a little bit of everything quarky in right proportions, just touch upon. And when you think you may, touch, it’s disaappears…

    About something else, which is in the realm of psychology and human beahaviour. I would like to share the documantary with you. It’s on youtube, about how the cousin of Freaud – Edward Bernays used the research of his uncle. It’s a masterful documentary which shines the light on our society. I enyoyed it a lot. You might also:
    http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL072AEC1B706CB1B9

    And thank you for sharing, Tora

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