Moon Square Venus in a Woman’s Chart: Conflicts at the Heart of Being Female

Moon Square Venus in Woman's Chart


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The natal Moon (mother) and Venus (lover) express two different types of female energy. If they form a square with each other, these energies conflict. I’ve explored what this could mean in a man’s chart, but the effects are somewhat different in a woman’s chart.

Moon Square Venus Conflict

The Moon represents a woman’s security needs and relationship with her mother. Venus describes how she expresses herself as a woman. The square sets up a conflict between what she needs to feel comfortable, and how she relates to others. There is a core uncertainty about feeling attractive, and an amplified need to sooth this uncertainty.

The root of this insecurity can be traced back to competition with her mother. This may have flared up once she became a teenager, and her sexuality was perceived as a threat (by the mother). Alternatively, her mother may have resented being a nurturer. If she felt that she had sacrificed her role as a sexual being to be a caregiver, she projected this conflict onto her daughter. Either way, the daughter absorbs these messages, and is not comfortable (Moon) expressing her femininity (Venus).

Moon Square Venus Example

Here’s an example of how this might play out: Jill’s Moon in Leo squares her Venus in Scorpio. Her mother was an actress (Leo) who put her career on hold to have Jill. Her career never quite took off, and she blamed Jill for this. Jill grew up marinating in the unspoken resentment of her mother’s unrealized dreams. As Jill matured, her magnetic Venus in Scorpio kicked in. Boys were drawn to her like flies. She sucked up all the attention that her mother wanted for herself. Meanwhile, her mother may have made little remarks about Jill “asking for the wrong kind of attention,” while pointedly refusing to compliment Jill on her appearance.

Result? Jill grows up with a ferocious need to be recognized and appreciated (Moon in Leo). That instinctive Venus in Scorpio gets her tons of romantic attention, but it always seems to be the wrong kind. Men want to have sex with her, while ignoring her feelings. Or she attracts (and is attracted to) men who already have another woman in their life. Jill understands that men are drawn to her, but this doesn’t resonate with her at a core level. She desperately wants to be a priority in someone’s life. But the more she tries to feed that Leo Moon, the more she seems to amp up her Venus in Scorpio. The tension of the square often drives her to obsessively pursue men, especially unavailable ones (Venus in Scorpio loves the forbidden).

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How to Work with the Moon Square Venus Conflict

Not all Moon/Venus square scenarios are this dramatic. I’ve created this example to show how the emotional and relationship needs in a woman’s chart are at cross purposes. There’s no easy “fix” for this aspect, but it can be worked with. First, understand that any aspect between the Moon and Venus will amplify the energies of nurturing and attraction. The tension of the square creates sex appeal, no matter what signs they’re in. People (especially men) sense the conflict and want to know more. So no matter how unattractive or uneasy a woman with a Moon/Venus square feels, others are drawn to her.

The key is figuring out what the Moon wants and how to satisfy it. The healthiest way to do this is to find an outlet that is not dependent on another person. In Jill’s case, her attention-seeking Leo Moon could be satisfied with artistic pursuits or any kind of work that allows her to shine. Once the Moon is satisfied, activating the highest potentials of Venus in its sign can attract (Venus) healthier partners, and re-write her personal definition of being a woman. Jill could use Scorpio’s resourcefulness to be more discriminating (Scorpio is The Reaper and only a select few should make the cut). She could also recognize that chasing men is waste of Scorpio’s energy (they’ll come to her). She is a powerful, magnetic (Scorpio) woman (Venus) who has all the resources she needs at her fingertips.

It’s not easy to satisfy both of these energies, and the tension of the square will always be apparent. But with self-awareness, the profound needs to be loved and desired can be met in healthy ways.

Are your Moon and Venus energies in conflict? Tell us about it in comments below.

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About Nadia Gilchrist

Nadia Gilchrist offers 15 years of experience in Evolutionary and Traditional astrology. Her writings and personal consultations focus on applying astrology and tarot readings with a clear, practical approach to the real world. Nadia blogs regularly at Ruby Slipper Astrology.
 

Comments

  1. Hello Nadia:

    How are you? I hope all is well with you. I have this aspect Moon square Venus. My Moon is in Aquarius and Venus in Scorpio. While I don’t have any problems attracting men, I have not found one who will nurture and provide. I did however, find that man without realizing it. My second son’s father. But I was not attracted to him at all and he was not in the position to do anything for me at the time. As time went on and we went our separate ways, he became successful. It’s strange because I still don’t want him, even though he’s told me he still loves me after all these years and he is now married. I want both the attraction and the nurturing from a man in a relationship. I know this is a challenge but I’m optimistic.

    I just ended a 12 year relationship with my children’s father and it feels so good. I feel bad for my children though and feel I’m partly responsible for this fiasco. I’ve had many lessons to learn and crosses to be borne in this life. Relationships have been horrific for me because there is a blend of Neptune conjuncting Jupiter, Venus and squaring Moon and semisextile Mercury. Men have played me for the fool immensely, but somehow, I don’t think that’s going to happen anymore. At this point in my life, I don’t think they stand a chance.

    Saturn has been brutal for 40 years and has finally moved to another part of my chart releasing me from captivity. Oh, by the way, I’m 41. Saturn oppositions both Mars and Venus and sesquiquadrate Pluto. Moon semisquare Sun and Sun semisquare Venus. Venus conjunct Mars. I feel sometimes with these aspects I have been severely punished in relationships. But having said that, I feel very fortunate at the same time. I’ve grown and learned alot about myself and view some of these aspects as gifts of the personality. I’m on a mission to work these aspects as something positive rather than negative.

    What are your insights, Nadia I would like to hear? Thank you for your time.

    Rising Gemini
    Sun Capricorn 7th
    Moon Aquarius 9th
    Mercury Capricorn 7th
    Venus Scorpio 6th
    Mars Scorpio 5th
    Jupiter Scorpio 6th
    Saturn Taurus 11th
    Uranus Libra 4th
    Neptune Sagittarius 6th
    Pluto Virgo 4th
    Chiron Aries 10th
    Lilith Virgo 4th
    North Node Aquarius 9th
    Midheaven Pisces
    Vertex Scorpio 5th
    2nd ruled by Cancer, 8th ruled by Capricorn
    3rd ruled by Leo, 9th ruled by Aquarius
    4th ruled by Virgo, 10th ruled by Pisces
    5th ruled by Libra, 11th ruled by Aries
    6th ruled by Scorpio, 12th ruled by Taurus

  2. This article explains so much. ” Men want to have sex with her, while ignoring her feelings. Or she attracts (and is attracted to) men who already have another woman in their life. ” This is me to a T and yet never realised this aspect could be causing the problem. My moon is in 1st house pisces squaring venus in gemini in 5th. I feel like this rut is one I’m never going to escape. It’s incredibly tedious. The artistic pursuits (drawing, playing musical instruments, even creative writing) help to a certain degree but I still can’t seem to get myself out these predicaments. Sighhh.

  3. Hello Flick:

    I’m sorry to hear of your dilemma. I feel the same way. The men I choose, never want me. The men that choose me, I never want them. At least in the past it has been this way. I’ve been transforming my life so I do not know at this moment how it is for me. I’m optimistic though. I have both Venus and Mars in opposition to Saturn. I also have Neptune conjunct Venus.

    I’m currently in a relationship with a wonderful man who is already taken. I just ended an eleven year relationship with a man that did absolutely nothing for me but waste my time. Go figure!

  4. Never thought about mother not feeling comfortable in nurturing but it definitely resonates here. I do not feel comfortable nurturing either. Issues with attractiveness are present as well. I have Moon in Leo and Venus in Scorpio as well. I used to and still find pleasure when working with children (Leo). An astrologer once told me this is the indirect expression of a Moon in Leo and I would miss the glamour. He suggested cooking (food = Moon, creativity = Leo) as a very good outlet in this case but I cannot cook for the most part (I suppose these are the nurturing issues I have). So either I start working on those issues or start cooking right away and hope to solve them the other way around. Psychologists say it’s easier to change behaviour than it is to change attitude. So doing something even if you don’t believe in it is easier than waiting to start believing in it and then doing it. And with practice you might actually learn to enjoy it and thus your attitude towards it will also change.

    A piece of advice I have found very useful is that we do not need other people to meet our needs at all. Moon in Leo wants fun and games, possibly competition and some gambling, a stage on which to be seen. There are a myriad of ways in which this need can be met that do not include a partner. Same for Venus in Scorpio which can be drawn to some dark art, to the possibility of having a healing effect on other people, etc. Fun with children during the week and a trip to a gothic cathedral in the weekend can satisfy both and that without a man in sight.

  5. this is highly insightful..i have tropical moon in leo and venus in scorpio and sidereal moon in cancer..venus in libra..lol i pretty much resonate with all I guess..This is a great article btw! I’m currently single and pretty much want to stay that way for a while whilst I get to know myself..I do agree with the part about men wanting to sleep with you and not acknowledging your feelings no matter how much nurturing you give to them..I don’t have issues with nurturing and If my mum resented being a caregiver to me she certainly hasn’t made that clear? But then I have always had some issues and tensions with her and we are not able to talk about certain things because we have completely different opinions, esp in the issues of sex and how I want to live my life. I often feel I may have stupidly done too much for these assh*le guys and sometimes kick myself for it. Men are just too stupid and I would turn lesbian If i could..but I can’t sadly. Oh and the one about not finding guys attractive even though they seem they might have some potential..its realy sad. The ones I do have interest in are either unstable, not commitment material, or just plain broke or live miles away. No point bothering with men at times..it’s like when I do give some of them a chance they start being pr*cks so what’s the point?? And Simorgh i really agree with you..it’s imperative to find an outlet through which you can vent all those emotions or even express or release them! I do love the occult and spirituality and goth music, but when it comes to creativity..am not entirely sure..am still figuring that part out! But i’m sure I’ll find it..whether it’s in a person (not necessarily romantic) or a thing :O Good to be optimistic eh??

  6. Thank you for this! I have a 5th house Virgo Moon, and 7th house Sagittarius Venus. I have been trying to find out more about my moon-venus square lately because I’m starting to think it may be connected in some way with why I have been so depressed since I graduated from university. I got married almost as soon as I graduated to a long time boyfriend (my only boyfriend, because I had never been interested/never felt comfortable with anyone else, and we met online so that helped with that discomfiture). My husband is 5 years older than I, and he keeps talking about getting full time permanent jobs and buying a good car and a house together. I love him, and I really do care about him which probably makes it more difficult, but I just don’t think I’m ready for all of that. I have always wanted to travel, see the world, join organizations like the Peace Corps or volunteer with UNICEF. I majored in anthropology and I would love to go on a dig in some far off country where everything is new and different. But I’m also afraid to do all of those things because I don’t know anyone else who wants to do it the way that I do. My husband only thinks about travelling as a short vacation or to visit family. I want to stay with him, but I also want to go off on my own and experience what the world has to offer.

    Sorry this is so long, I guess it’s been on my mind a lot.

  7. Hello Brittney

    Maybe you should have waited awhile before you got married?

  8. Oracle,

    I know. I love him and I love being with him, but I do worry that we’re going in different directions and that I didn’t have enough experience as an individual before we married. But I’m not going to dwell on it now, especially since I want to continue to be with him. I almost feel like, if I could just have some time to go and do some of these things on my own and then come back it would work, but he’s much more emotionally dependent on me (he’s very watery and devoted: Scorpio Sun, Cancer Moon, Virgo Venus/Mars), than I am on him. I’m very independent anyway (Sun conjunct Uranus/Saturn/Neptune in Capricorn), and my mom and grandma raised me to be emotionally independent, so I could be OK with having some alone time, though I would still miss him. But he already feels that I’m not showing him as much affection or attention as he needs, so if I say “Hey, I’m just gonna run off to another country for a while. Call you later, babe!” he might not take it very well.
    I just have to find a way to make sure he knows I still care about him while at the same time finding more ways to get out on my own and experience more things for myself.

  9. Hi Brittney:

    I would make sure I did the things I wanted to do with my life first and foremost. Your mother and grandmother raised you well to be emotionally independent. I had to learn on my own to be emotionally independent.

    I’m personally a firm believer in living life to the fullest and doing those things that make us happy and achieving dreams. A relationship in no way should hinder such freedom.

    I hope you won’t have any regrets.

  10. Oracle,

    Thank you for your insight! I agree with you completely. I also hope that neither of us have any regrets, and that your emotional independence didn’t come at too high a cost.

    Thank you again for your advice, I really do appreciate it.

    -Brittney

  11. maygemini says:

    Wow! Thank you for this insightful article!

    I have 6th house Pisces moon square 9th house Gemini Venus. I also have Venus opposite Neptune. For the record, I’m 31.

    Having a 9th house Venus and always finding love in far away places is already HARD enough, let alone having it square my watery Pisces Moon! Like your article, I’ve always noticed that the ones I like or interested in always seem to REJECT me hardcore, whereas, the ones that want me, they want me badly and then I reject them hardcore. I always thought that was be cause I have Pluto in 1st as that’s a general indicator of magnetism and not direct/overt obtainment. The thing is, I have Venus trine Pluto (exact) and I think that amplifies either someone loving me off the bat or grossed out by the sight of me.

    Actually, my ex-husband (Leo Sun, Scorpio Moon, VIrgo Rising and Venus, Cancer Mars) found me out of the blue when we were both 18 and although he wanted me badly and I thought that he’s really handsome, for some reason, I kept pushing him away from me for months. It took him a while to convince me that we’d be together and took me even longer accepting the responsibilities of having a relationship as I didn’t think I would be able to love and care for him like I think he deserves. He kept pursuing me and wouldn’t give up. He saw something in me that won him over from the moment we met but it took me a long time to give into that feeling I had for him, even though I tried very hard to deny it. It was my ex who initiated the relationship but it was me (sadly) that initiated the split. We never saw each other after he moved out and he avoided talking to me, even if it was over necessary things (money, etc.)

    I suppose that’s the MAJOR issue with Venus square Moon… feeling inadequate and not deserving of love. Somehow the root of the feeling of “not deserving” actually plays out and underminds possible decent relationships that could happen but it never launches. Horrible.

    Since my divorce (4.5 years ago), nothing has happened with anyone. I haven’t been on a date in over a year. Part of it is because I’m in CA and there’s nothing but gays and bisexuals. The few straight ones here are either taken or players and think it’s their playground to bang as many chicks as possible, so none of them know how to act like a gentleman and treat women with courtesy and respect. YUCK. Not my cup of tea. I’ve been celibate for over a year and although I don’t want to stay a nun forever, I have resided to the reality that it’s all or nothing (blast my 1st house Pluto!) and I get either the whole shebang of a relationship with love and sex or I get nothing. I’m actually quite content with nothing as I don’t have to deal with any headaches from whiny quasi-men.

  12. You’re certainly welcome Brittney and yes my emotional independence did come with a much too high price. I had to learn the hard way some very valuable lessons!

    One thing I can say though, I’m whole lot stronger and wiser. The problems I use to have, I no longer have. So there has been some good.

  13. Oracle,

    Good, I’m glad for you! You had hardships and you came out ahead; not everyone can say that. “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger,” right?

  14. Right.

  15. Hi. I have this square too: moon in Aquarius, venus in Scorpio. I don’t feel conflicts between them, but men don’t like me at all, nobody pays any attention to me, I’m 25 and there were only two boys who used to love me in my life. I am not very ugly girl, can you help me? Whats wrong with me? This is only negative aspect in my natal chart

  16. I have this aspect with my Gemini moon and Aries venus. I find it hard to find love because I can either never find someone who actually loves me, or when I do find someone I end up realizing why they’re not for me. Everyone I love makes it feel like it’s wrong! Therefore, I cannot stay with them. I don’t know what I desire other than helping other people.

  17. Natalie R says:

    Hi,

    I have become curious about this aspect since it is in my first house. My moon ( Cancer ) is square venus ( Aries ) hoping for a little insight on what creative outlets I might pursue to help with this square.

    Thanks so much for your time,
    Natalie

  18. natalia says:

    i have moon in cancer 8th house square venus in libra 11th house… I seem to attract possesive restrictive and obsessive people …Male and female.. Does anyone have advice on how to change this? My family is old fashioned religious folk and inforced repression of sexuality in any form when i was young.. How do i work with my venus moon square?

  19. i have T-cross Venus in Aquarius, Moon in Taurus with Moon nodes Leo/Aquarius and Lilith in Scorpio (I wouldn’t concider it if it was not placed exactly on my Mother’s Sun). So my Mom’s Sun squares my Venus from Scorpio and my Mother in Law’s Sun conjuncts exactly my Moon and thus also squares my Venus from Taurus. I wouldn’t notice the contradiction untill my second dauhter was born. my need to socialize, work, even when i just slightly dress up get severly watched over by both of them (depending on who i spend time with). it was somehow uneasy to deal with the ladies untill i studied some astrology. (i just left home early and didn’t need much help from grandmothers with first kid and managed to combine home chores and work easily, but wuth the second one all contradictions leaked out at once). i think i managed to live my Venus in Aquarius energies for quite a while. i had all those – 1) Mom loosing her career options to have me 2) being attracted by men who are not free — but i always went on in Aquarian “whatsoever” style – like everything in this world can be explained and if something doesn’t work i find something that works – later. but as time passed + having second kid (her ascendant matches my Taurian Moon exactly) I started being more .. vulnerable ? at least — concerned about my feelings and relationships (which can also be explained with comparatively high level of oxytocine i suppose )))) & need more stability and even status (Taurian Moon in 10th). my husband loves kids and pays much attention to me – his Venus in Taurus conjuncts my Moon. but — again there is anither woman – he is overly emotionally dependant on his Mom and elder sister – in a positive or negative way they both can easily influence his mood and i just… don’t quite want to rival with anybody at all, really.
    but anyway, i found a good way for my Venus i think in quite an Aqurian style – make direction of an animation movie which i fancied since being a child. when i get that satisfied with some amount of work and appreciation i get from collegues and co-workers – i feel Moon chores of taking care of kids and house and dealing with my both Mom’s whims (or what it seems whims to me) – much easier.

  20. Thank you Nadia for this topic!
    I too have this square: Moon in Scorp (exact conj Neptune) in the 9th house square Venus in Leo (conj Uranus) in the 7th, with the added bonus of Cancer on the 7th house cusp and Libra on the 9th.

    In my case there is no jealousy between my mother and I. The stress between my Moon and Venus can be seen in my mother’s “philosophy” about the importance of a woman’s attractiveness. She always wanted me to wear makeup and was, in a way, overly proud of my looks. While growing up she would often tell me how beautiful I was, and that I was better looking than this person or that person, even movie stars! Venus in Leo in the 7th! BTY, my mother has Venus conj Pluto in Leo in her 7th! Interesting how it all plays out…

  21. Hi,

    I’m a capricorn, Moon in taurus venus in aquarius. I was recently at a party with sister who is very much aware of my dating type so she thought. Anyway, there was two guys standing next to each other 1 i was attracted to and 1 not so much, the 1 i was attracted looked like the strong silent type the other friendly and outgoing oozing confidence. My sister assumed I was attracted to the more confident guy and said no I’m not I’m attracted to the other guy, I went to explain that I’m attracted to the quieter 1 but I always end up with outgoing type of guy.As I have gotten older I have come to realise that I don’t end up with what I am attracted to I end up with the guy thats opposite, your article has clarified this to me, I have always known about this conflict but never understood it, I have my own saying I made up a few years ago describing myself “the need for stability, the desire for freedom”. To this day I still attract the opposite of what I know is right for me. Do you think I can make a conscious decision to change this?

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