Astrology Truth or Myth: Moon Square Venus Means A Lifetime Of Unsatisfying Relationships

Moon Square Venus Means a Lifetime of Unsatisfying Relationships

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Natal Moon square Venus in a man’s chart is considered a romantic red flag. Some astrologers interpret it as a life characterized by unsatisfying partnerships. Read on to discover why—and if this is even true.

Moon Square Venus

In anyone’s chart, the Moon represents emotions, and Venus represents love and attraction. In a man’s chart, these planets represent the women in his life. If you want to get into archetypes, think Mother (Moon) and Lover (Venus). When these planets form a difficult (square) aspect, the types of women a man is comfortable with (Moon) clashes with the types of women he is attracted to (Venus). This clash is what many see as a romantic red flag.

Because a square creates tension, a man with this aspect between Moon and Venus will be driven to fix it. He will be on an endless search for the “right” partner. Ideally, she’ll tick all the boxes by giving him those childhood, emotional dynamics while pulling him away from his past. This is impossible, of course. Before he can find a partner that makes him happy, he’ll need to confront his internal dynamics.

I’ve seen this aspect trigger romantic difficulties in the charts of male clients. The key is (usually) the relationship with Mom; Venus becomes the outlet to rebel against his mother’s influence. But the Moon’s energy, with its ties to the past, is not easy to break away from. Does this aspect guarantee an unsatisfying love life? Not if it’s dealt with. For someone who is willing to work on his issues, the square can create impetus for change.

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Example: Moon in Scorpio

For example, a Moon in Scorpio man will feel “at home” with intense, controlling women. His mother was certainly powerful, and she was probably emotionally invasive. His Moon describes his primary emotional template, positive or negative. But his Venus is in Aquarius, squaring his Moon. He is attracted to women who are independent and detached. He is used to the depth of Scorpio but is drawn to the distant call of Aquarius. But when he’s in relationships with emotionally detached women, he feels dissatisfied.

Mr. Moon in Scorpio square Venus in Aquarius needs to figure out what kind of emotional control (Scorpio) he is rebelling against (Aquarius). What is his deepest fear and what is his deepest emotional craving? They are probably connected (or even the same thing). The Moon’s house position and other natal aspects can provide more information. Once he is no longer in full-on escape mode from his past, he’ll find it easier to attract (Venus) a partner that fits his needs. He’ll always have that tension, but a resolved Moon/Venus square has the ability to search for love in healthier ways.

Have a story to tell about a Moon Square Venus man in your life? Tell us about it in comments below.

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About Nadia Gilchrist

Nadia Gilchrist offers 15 years of experience in Evolutionary and Traditional astrology. Her writings and personal consultations focus on applying astrology and tarot readings with a clear, practical approach to the real world. Nadia blogs regularly at Ruby Slipper Astrology.


  1. I wonder what that says about Leo DiCaprio’s moon and venus, considering he has a tight bond with his mom and seems to go after the same model-type women all the time.

  2. Novlady says:

    Leo has much Scorpio in him, right? He seems it.

    I am curious how the moon/venus square differs from the venus/mars square. Both combos seem to show struggles with needs versus desire.

  3. His Moon is in Taurus and Venus is in Leo. He’s currently driving me nuts and I guess this is the reason why. He likes to have “house keeper” types around him but chases after me who’s anything but. What’s this saying about me though? Why have I attracted this?

  4. @NovLady

    Yep he does. Sun, merc, venus and mars (wow). I wonder how this translates to a woman. I think I read somewhere that the Sun signifies the life partner and Mars is for lovers. Which would represent the father figure? Saturn or Sun

  5. what about moon in leo house 10 square venus in taurus house 7?

  6. @quiche

    I bet it translates as power plays. Not necessarily struggles. However, with that much Pluto, I am sure he has had to face challenges with power usage. For the man, you look to the Moon and Venus to see his idea of the feminine ideal.

    His Asc and Moon is in Libra. With that much Pluto, I think of Scorpio’s opposite (Taurus) to balance things out. Venus rules Taurus and Libra. Perhaps, that is a saving grace for him. A woman who is refined and graceful with how she handles her own power.

  7. @quiche

    FYI, Kate Winslet is a Libra!

  8. @NovLady

    Girl bye! As much as I love Kate, Leo and/or Joaquin & Cillian are mine lol

    I think they’re very good friends and she seems smart enough to stay away from his mess. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s been pining after her this entire time. Or maybe it’s one of those situations where you place the kind of person you want to partner in the bff zone for fear of being too intimate with that archetype. I know that’s what I do.

    One thing I found funny is how she always thanks him first when she lists specific people, even before her ex-hubby.

  9. @quiche
    His Moon and Venus don’t square each other but he has other issues.
    His Moon in 1st House Libra squares Saturn in 10th House (career) Cancer. So a tight but somewhat restrictive bond with Mum. She dominates his life. His Venus is in 2nd House (security) Scorpio conjunct his Sun. Venus conjunct Sun in a man’s chart indicates he has a natural affinity with women but he also wants a woman who shines and grabs attention (Sun). Makes him feel secure.

  10. @Novlady:
    Moon/Venus square: comfort and security needs conflict with romantic relationships.
    Mars/Venus square: the way someone asserts themselves conflicts with romantic relationships.

  11. @mary:
    Your analysis of him is correct. He needs stability but is drawn to women who grab attention. Can’t say why you would attract this type without seeing your chart. If you have an emphasized Leo, 5th House or strong contacts to your Sun that might be drawing him in.

  12. @quiche:
    Sun and Saturn can both symbolize the father. But his Saturn square Moon can also symbolize his mother’s authority.

  13. @ninja;
    The need for attention/fame conflicts with the desire for a stable, predictable relationship.

  14. @quiche
    My friend just did a movie with him. The new Quentin Tarantino film coming out. I was curious to ask her how his temperament is. I saw him once when I visited the Oprah Show and he was promoting “Blood Diamond”. I’ll leave Leo, Joaquin, and Cillian alone! You have taste in some brooding men. Haha!

    @Nadia Gilchrist
    Thanks for the clarification.

    Do you have any writings about understanding how energy plays out in a synastry when the the synastry between two people is fair, but the composite is great? I’ve been very curious how energy plays out when the house overlays and aspects tell one story and the composite tells another.

  15. Haha I do. I have Scorp in mercury, mars & pluto plus a couple of houses in that sign. I love that brooding energy since I’m dominated by Sag, Scorp and Saturn, but always complain when they get on my everlasting nerves.


    Have you written an article like this specifically about women? I think I remember one or two about attraction versus what we get, but I don’t recall if it was about planet placements or house.

  16. Is there a similar effect if it’s an inconjunct between the moon and venus? Thanks!

  17. @NovLady:
    But I believe Dawn Bodrogi has covered this topic in one of her synastry articles. Either on this site or her site (The Inner Wheel).

  18. @quiche,
    No, I haven’t…but I am looking for ideas for new article topics and you just gave me one. Thanks! :)

  19. @Jeanne,
    With an inconjunct there’s a complete disconnect. Rather than being driven by the tension of the aspect to find a woman who fits all his needs, this aspect creates a total lack of comprehension. The type of woman who makes him feel safe is alien from the type of woman he is attracted to. The result is an unsatisfied longing for warmth.

  20. Nadia your article depicts pretty well the Moon-Venus square in a man’s chart.

    I would like to hear from you dear ladies what do you think about the Moon-Venus square in a woman’s chart?

  21. Elouise says:

    My Saturn cj Venus 2nd opp Moon 8th has wasted one Saturn cycle in a relationship with a Moon cj Neptune 1st sq Venus cj Uranus 10th man. I still don’t understand his mother issues but I wish I could forgive myself for wasting my youthful exuberance and beauty. Any light you can shed as I approach my 2nd Saturn ret would be a gift to whatever may be left of my relationship life.

  22. @Elouise,
    I’m sorry to read about your difficult relationship. His Moon/Neptune (emotional illusions…possible depressed/martyred mother) square Venus/Uranus (need for independent lover) would be tough to handle for just about anyone. He’d need to provide emotional support (perhaps as an enabler) but would find it draining so would be drawn to women who keep him off balance.
    Although I’m sure it feels like a waste of your time, if you can frame it as something you survived and learned from it might help. In my view, no experience is a waste.
    For your 2nd Saturn return, use ti as an opportunity to focus on your new relationship needs. You already have Saturn conjunct Venus so you can incorporate what you learned (from the previous relationship) and move forward with it. You know you’re not going to repeat the same mistakes. Using the house and sign that your natal Venus is in, work (Saturn) at manifesting the kind of relationship you want (Saturn makes things real).

  23. Fleursdumal says:

    And the question is, dear Nadia, how to deal (in a romantic r.ship) with a person having this square? :)

  24. Elouise says:

    TYVM, Nadia.

  25. @Fleursdumal
    Ah yes, that’s always the sticking point, isn’t it? Awareness is the first step (on your part)…understand that this person will always have some degree of dissatisfaction and it really is their issue, not yours. Attempting to fill both roles for them won’t work. This is where you need to turn to the rest of the aspects between the two of you. Look for trines, sextiles or conjunctions between your planets and their Moon or Venus as release points for some of this energy. Work those aspects to try and balance out their square. Beyond that, there’s not much else you can do because it is up to the person to deal with their own square.

  26. What if his moon is virgo and venus sagittarius?

  27. Fleursdumal says:

    Great advice! Thank you, Nadia! :)

  28. Fleursdumal says:

    Oh, and, yeah…I really need to try to find as many balancing points I can, as this square is not the only one in that chart. There is also a Sun square Moon, a Mars square Venus, a Saturn square Sun, a Uranus square Moon and Mars…need I go on? LOL

  29. Fabulous article! It´s very interesting.
    Where do we find Moon Square Venus in a woman´s chart?
    Thank you!

  30. The countess says:

    I have this square and I’ve had very deep connections with certain men but it was always very confusing for both parties and very roller coaster. in the end it’s heartbreaking, not only just for me but sometimes for the man as well. There’s apparently a subconscious energy in this square that causes you to subconscious repel people from you as they are subconsciously perceiving a notion that you are keeping something from them or not being revealing, which threatens people in general on an instinctual level. However their perception is, to a degree, mistaken, as what’s really happening is the moon square Venus person is simply hiding their own deep rooted insecurities and feelings (moon) when it comes to love (Venus). And usually the conflicting emotions that arise simply from realizing they want someone’s love makes huge swells of big deep emotions that essentially create an emotionally battleground inside the moon square person. An example of this is one time I was really falling for a guy, and he was doing all the right things. Like all of them. And I only really find a man interesting to catch my attention once every few years so it’s big deal when it happens. Well he was, like Nadia described with this square, everything I was looking for. I was just checking off the boxes left and right on my list. One night we had a very intimate experience and I was in heaven. Like I couldn’t remember a time I felt that good with a man. It was a rare bliss. And I loved it. After he left and we said our good byes the next day, I decided to take a nap later that afternoon. When I woke up from the nap, I broke into hysterical tears and had a crushing feeling of pain and fear. My bliss had been warped and perverted into agony, like real griping, oh my god, why does this hurt so bad agony. For reasons I didn’t understand at the time, my subconscious, while I was sleeping which is its favorite playground, lol, had decided no good was to come from this and I mentally kept telling myself “cut it off. End it. Never ever do this again.” because I was scared. I was scared by the depth and intensity of the emotional response I had to him, like I was in danger emotionally if I continued on with him. And in my defense, I actually had a bit of logical reason for that. He had just gotten out of a relationship a few months earlier though not a serious one but he was pretty banged up by it. So I mentally decided just to get out now. But I couldn’t help that when I was around him I still very much liked him. However what this translated to him, subconsciously, was that I was pulling away. And so he subconsciously pulled away from me. I then saw that as confirmation my fears were correct and further distanced (detached, as I’m an aqua sun) from him and just got worse in worse until I realized we weren’t even friends anymore despite the fact we were still completely friendly where we worked. When I finally confronted him about many months later he actually used the word subconscious and stated he hadn’t even realized he had done it. Being a Pisces man, I can only imagine how powerful even the subconscious feeling he was getting from me was impacting him, as Pisces are known to be empathy and pick up on everything emotionally. However true to the basic description of this square, I came to realize though he fulfilled me emotionally, in a very rare way, he did not provide the stability I was desperate for after previous experiences of emotionally volatile and complicated relationships in my past. What’s a square to do? Many astrologers say with this square you have to learn to get along with the one you desire, despite it’s difficulties emotionally or you have to learn to desire people that give you what you need. Personally for me the latter is impossible. So I have no choice but to pursue the former. However I am trying to work through my square by being more aware of how my fears and insecurities will simply have to be overcome and I will have to learn to be more emotionally honest with myself and the other person of my true feelings for them. Not keep them lock, stocked and heavily guarded in secret from the world. Because how I look at it is I can take a risk and possible loose in love if I let someone know and it doesn’t work out or I can keep myself locked up in an emotional prison, starving for love but unable to get out. Both ways you suffer. But at least one gives you a fighting chance. I’ve also realized I’ve been working out this square for years, getting more self aware, learning about myself and others through my relationships and I feel I’m making better choices and coming to at least a level I can deal with in terms of conflicting needs vs. desire. Currently to date, I am re-forging my friendship with said Pisces man, on a platonic level so I can turn down the volume on the panic mode this square caucuses while simultaneously getting closer and making bonds in a way I feel is “safe”. There is still a tension there but fortunately we have a lot of really great aspects in composite that really help endure a feeling of comfort and warm attraction and simple love towards each other. Also in composite we have a sextile right there due to my square so it kinda balances it out right the right person. But over time I have to come to know him in his entirety, flaws and all and yes he is a bit emotionally unstable. No he will never be the most easy person to deal with and he does some self destructive things when it comes to women as I’ve witnessed two other relationships he’s been in. But all in all, I believe his level of crazy I can deal with. And I’m learning better to deal with it. Which I believe is part of working out your square.

    Here’s to being emotionally honest through paralyzingly fear. The only way to get out of hell is to keep walking through it. Lol

  31. Fleursdumal says:

    Very insightful post, Countess, thank you!

  32. Thanks for a great article, Nadia.

    I find with this, and other squares, a look at the midpoints very interesting – both near and far midpoints.

    A planet or sensitive point at the midpoint can show light on both the resultant outworking of the square for that individual, and possibilities for resolving it and/or growing from its opportunities and impetus for change. We could think of the arms of the square pulling at right angles to each other and combining to give a stronger resultant force in the middle. Planets at the midpoint can give us an idea of the nature of that resultant force, which may well be much more than and different from just the uneasy mixing of the two arms . (Mathematicians could use vectors). I’m a man with (late) Pisces H4 Venus square (early) Cancer H7 Moon. Uranus at my midpoint in H5 inspires me to recognise, acknowledge, and individuate from both mother’s (moon) and other childhood programming and conventions around H4 Venus..

  33. @quisa;
    the need to be with someone dependable vs. an attraction to adventurous women

  34. @Ana,
    It doesn’t matter if it’s a man’s or a woman’s chart….Moon and Venus will be square if they fall in two signs that naturally form a square with each other (and the two planets are in orb). Your best bet is to get a chart reading that describes the aspects in the chart in question (I believe Sasstrology generates free natal charts).

  35. @The countess
    Self-awareness is really the only solution for this aspect. Congratulations on that.
    I wouldn’t say a Moon/Venus square involves subconscious energy (unless one planet is in your 12th or 8th House). It’s the tension of not being sure what you want that repels people.

  36. @Mel,
    Very interesting comments about the midpoints.
    When I’m dealing with aspects, I don’t consider Pisces and Cancer to form a square. I understand you’re looking at the houses rather than the signs but in my interpretations I focus on the energy of the houses and the signs, together (I don’t look at out of sign aspects).
    However, obviously you’ve felt some tension between your Moon and Venus (even though they are in compatible signs). I’m assuming Uranus is at your Moon/Venus midpoint? I’m wondering if its energy (while giving you clarity) is also responsible for the tension between your Moon and Venus (Uranus on a midpoint can intensify your need to break away from emotional connections).
    Just a thought…

  37. ana, free charts can be found here

  38. Thanks Nadia! :)

  39. The countess says:


    Yes actually my square is in the 12th house so it does make the square even more challenging I find because you really have to dig deep in the dark to even begin working on it.

  40. When reviewing the Moon/Venus square on other sites, it’s also grouped with the opposition. Does the Moon/Venus opposition have a similar result or translation natally?

    Thanks for the article and to all for the insightful responses. Hey there Countess! Mucho besos love.

  41. @Ms.Teeq1974
    The opposition can have similar results, but it looks more like swinging back and forth between the security needs of the Moon and the relationship needs of Venus. The square creates tension/drive for change while the opposition can create indecision. But with the opposition, there’s more of a chance for finding a balance between the two extremes and combining the two energies.

  42. My husband has this aspect, with moon in Libra squaring venus in cancer. It’s really tough to deal with. He gets uncomfortable when I get too emotional, but turned off when I am too reasonable. Aye curumba!

  43. Thanks again Nadia for those insights. Yes, to me Uranus IS about breaking free (from mainly the old unhelpfu programmes of Moon (H7) and childhood stuff where Venus is in H4.) My midpoint of Moon/Venus with Uranus is also tightly conjunct the Vertex. I feel the need to honour both the breaking free and the implications of a partner’s close contact to the Vertex (the latter especially as I’m becoming more aware of karmic implications of a partner’s squares to my nodal axis and mine to hers.- thanks for your other article about this ( Were it not for the impetus marked by the Venus-Moon square (helped by Uranus) to clear the unhelpful old stuff I might have been too bogged down to be ready to look at these Karmic issues.
    Sorry if this is going beyond the scope of this thread.
    To clarify, one other point, Nadia, I’ve been calling Venus at 29 Pisces and Moon at 3 Cancer a square despite the compatibility of the signs – a 4 degree orb seems close enough and I certainly feel the tension of a square – not clear about the roles of the houses (4 and 7) in this, and acknowledging your point about the Uranus contribution. Would you heavily discount an aspect like this despite the moderately tight orb?
    Thanks again.

  44. Thank you for that Nadia. I have Moon in Cancer (7th) square Venus in Aries (4th), and it describes a lifetime of unsatisfying relationships – chasing the warrior women while only really feeling at home with nurturers (though of course, they can often irritate and suffocate me). Damn.

  45. Moon in Scorpio/Venus in Aquarius – Rupert Sanders. Interesting read, Nadia. Well done.

  46. DeepInTheZone says:

    I have a Moon Square Venus in my chart. :(

    That’s the thing, I need someone to care about me and always be there for me yet I’m more attracted to the Secretive and Mysterious type. It’s a clash between who I need and who I want.

    Anyway, thanks for the information. It’s very well-written and in details. :)

  47. Wow! i briefly saw someone with this exact aspect -Scorpio Moon (in 8th) square Venus Aquarius (in 5th) and tho’ I’m sure it’s not all cases – he was messed up! And yes, he had major Mommy issue – even into his late 40s. Mom was completely domineering – he would turn into a little kid when he talked w/ his folks. He had a need for attention that was bottomless – and openly admitted it. He was also extremely self indulgent w/ food and particularly alcohol – would consume absolutely ridiculous amounts in one evening. He pursued me very aggressively but turned out to be married. And, I don’t think it was the first time – I think he’s constantly on the hunt and when I cut it off – he stalked me. Online, calling, emailing, texting, driving by my house!!! Sooo scary. Anyway, our Moons were conjunct in Scorpio to the exact degree, and I have Jupiter in Aquarius which perhaps activated his Venus? found out later, his wife’s Mars was conjunct our mutual Moons almost to exact degree. Guess he leans toward his Moon? Feel soooo bad for his poor wife. I don’t think he’ll ever clean up his act. Ugh.

  48. Well have I got a story. He has Aquarius venus conjunct mercury at midheaven SQUARE Libra moon/pluto/saturn in the 6th house. I’m a Libra sun, scorpio rising while he is a Cappie with taurus rising. So. Lots of Pluto/venus going on. I have venus/neptune in Scorpio to boot.
    I cannot understand this guy worth a tin nickel. He has the most engaging, genteel, elegant and satisfying sexual demeanor I have ever encountered. It’s divinely hot between us. You would never know this to look at us when not in bed. We both try to dominate the conversation, he is judgemental, yet fickle, and speaks like a military general. My Aries moon is intolerant of this! He has the classic smother mother, with the hot poker hidden behind her back. His father is very two faced as well, and the parents co-orchestrate bad things away, as if they never happened.
    I am much older than this guy, yet due to his domineering tone, I often feel like the child. We were friends for many years prior to hooking up, and I never had an inkling of an inkling of an attraction to him, other than as someone I could talk to for hours about philosophy/social causes / enlightenment. Once we kissed, it was like flipping a switch and suddenly he was an entirely different person to me; we were in another era, another setting… if we were on a stage and the scene entirely changed.
    So, we have the intensely satisfying sex, an intellectual connection, but no social life together as we are SOOO different publicly.
    He has a female friend who he has a social life with, but she is asexual (in general) and they cannot talk deeply. In so many ways,, its the ole attraction/repulsion, and I am currently pinned as I live in his parents house in an apt that I adore. I have had to learn to tolerate and become patient beyond my means. I THINK he would say the same of me, yet I do not ever know what on earth is going to come out of his mouth. LOL
    We broke up over a year ago. And still, I talk as if we are together, and that is how it feels. Yet when we were actually a couple, it felt as though we were just pretending. I guess what I am saying is it feels like an always morphing, never-ending saga of switcheroos and I cannot seem to get a grip on what’s happening…ever.
    But then, I am a first house Neptunian, so what can you expect?:)

  49. so would a moon in Scorpio square venus in Leo mean: the need to be with someone intense vs the attraction to someone dramatic and gives (or needs?) a lot of attention..?

    trying to get a better idea of the relations to the squares…

  50. Dear Nadia,
    Could you tell me what the max orb you use for this square aspect?

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