The Two Most Overused Synastry Aspects

Overused Synastry Aspects

An aspect that is strong enough to pull two people together may not be adequate for the relationship to develop.

You meet a new love interest. Fortunately, they’re open-minded when you ask them for their birth information. Data in hand, you go to an astrologer or pore over the synastry contacts yourself. There are definitely a few aspects that point to a significant relationship developing, but there are also a few aspects—classic examples of what to look for in relationship synastry—that although powerful enough to pull two people together, are not adequate by themselves for the relationship to develop: planetary overlays to the Seventh House, and contacts to the Nodes.

These may feel like sure things, but It’s always a good idea to look at their flip side. I believe this discourages people from seizing onto one or two aspects and making a declaration about the entire relationship.

Planetary Overlays to the Seventh House

The Seventh House is considered to be the house of marriage. If someone’s planets land there, it must mean they’re your future partner, right? Actually, no. The Seventh House represents projected ideals about a partner. In addition, although house overlays are felt by both people, it’s the “house” person who views the “planet” person as partner. For example, let’s say Kelly’s Venus falls in Brad’s Seventh House. Kelly’s way of relating to another person fits Brad’s partnership ideals. He thinks that she’s exactly what he’s looking for in a spouse. Kelly will be aware of Brad’s feelings, and will definitely react to them. How she reacts is decided by his impact on her chart.

Let’s put Brad’s planets in Kelly’s Tenth (career), Eleventh (friends) and Third (communication) Houses. Other planetary contacts may indicate attraction, but these house overlays are platonic. Chances are that Kelly will view Brad as a friend who she can talk to and who has an impact on her career. This doesn’t mean that Eleventh House overlays will always be romance dealbreakers. With other romantic/sexual contacts between them, Kelly could view Brad as a friend and lover, simultaneously. My point is that the impact on each person’s chart has to put them on the same page.

Contacts to the Nodes

The North and South lunar Nodes are karmic signposts in the natal chart. The South Node represents past lives and current behavior with which you are comfortable. The North Node represents your future: the lessons you need to learn in order to move forward, or evolve.

Contacts from one person’s planet(s) to the other’s South Node strongly indicate a past life involvement. These are the people you just met but feel like you’ve known forever. Often this connection results in the relationship continuing in this life because it indicates unfinished business. However, sometimes nothing develops.

Matt’s Mars is conjunct Carol’s South Node. Definitely a past life contact, and they both feel the pull (Carol will feel the impact more strongly because it’s her South Node that’s being activated). The pull will probably feel sexual, but it may make Carol uneasy. Being around Matt puts her on edge, so she pulls away. What happened?

Past life relationships often involve unpleasant scenarios. If everything was rosy, there would be no unfinished business to deal with in this life. Mars can symbolize violence, so—depending on the rest of their charts—the lingering echo of this is disturbing enough for Carol to say, “forget it.” It’s possible that they were forcibly separated by war, or that one of them died suddenly. Please note that someone’s Mars conjunct your South Node does not always symbolize violence. But it’s a good bet that some intense, jarring event occurred.

Let’s re-do their synastry and say that Matt’s Venus is conjunct Carol’s South Node instead. While Venus conjunct the South Node is a strong indicator of a past life romance, how the Node person reacts depends on where they are in this life. Once again, Matt and Carol feel the magnetic pull towards one another, but maybe Carol’s having some issues with her South Node. In her past life she might have been a slave, and in this life she’s really working on empowering herself by dealing with those lingering feelings of victimization. She meets Matt and, without even getting seriously involved, feels her low self-esteem issues getting stirred up. She might get involved with him anyway so that they can finish their story. But she could just as easily pull away because she really doesn’t like who she becomes when she’s around Matt.

So if South Node contacts can bring up unpleasant reminders, what about North Node contacts? Actually, North Node contacts can be even trickier, because they indicate someone who has come into your life to help you evolve—and this usually includes some discomfort and/or fear. Benny’s Sun is conjunct Alice’s North Node. Alice’s North Node is in Pisces, so in this life she really needs to work on letting go and dropping her boundaries. This is a very simplistic description of North Node in Pisces, and I’m not taking the house position into account, but you get the picture. Benny tries to get close to Alice. He’s all about opening up and sharing, and frankly he scares the crap out of her. She’s just not ready to go there. North Node contacts represent behavior that feels uncomfortable because it’s new. If you’re ready to move forward, then here’s a relationship that will impact the rest of your life. But if you don’t feel the time is right, then someone pushing you forward may not be welcome.

In summary, these synastry contacts are quite potent and can pull two people together. But you really need to look at the whole package. What does each person’s chart say regarding their capacity for relationships? Do they even want one? What are all the planetary aspects and house overlays between them? What sort of transits are they getting hit by right now? It sounds complicated and nuanced, but that’s what makes astrology so effective.

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About Nadia Gilchrist

Nadia Gilchrist offers 15 years of experience in Evolutionary and Traditional astrology. Her writings and personal consultations focus on applying astrology and tarot readings with a clear, practical approach to the real world. Nadia blogs regularly at Ruby Slipper Astrology.


  1. So what is north and south nodes are conjunct each other in synastry? Is that the ultimate alignment for helping purging past mistakes, thereby both progressing both forward? Or is it a deadlock? I’ve been trying to figure this out since I have this with someone I am currently seeing.

  2. As usual, you illuminate so much through your writing. Thank you, Nadia.

    I am just coming out a rather turbulent relationship with a Scorpio sun/Libra moon whose moon, Mercury, Uranus, and pluto conjunct my north node while my Sagittarius sun, Venus, and Neptune conjunct his. It was a very intense relationship that I’ll greatly remember. It was at times very scary and uncomfortable but I learned much about myself that is helping me to grow. However, given the nature of our relationship, I’ll always wonder if I’ve had the same effect on him.

  3. @Liz;
    North and South Nodes conjunct have strong potential to help each person evolve. Whether each person embraces this or sits in a deadlock really depends on which signs and which houses the nodes are in and all the other aspects between the two charts.
    It’s helpful to figure out the lessons each person has to learn in this life time first (go back to the natal chart) and then see how they blend together.
    And when you say conjunct , if we are talking about the Nodes conjunct each other it’s more significant if there is a really tight orb (say, two degrees at the most) between the Nodes.

  4. @TheSagGirl;

    Thank you. :)

    Wow…yes indeed, your relationship is a prime example of two people finding each other in order to move forward in this lifetime.
    I would say yes, absolutely, you had the same effect on him. If you are comparing the intensity levels, your Neptune will probably not create as much upheaval as his Pluto/Uranus initially. Neptune works a little differently in that the affects almost sneak up on you. He may notice the effect gradually or on a sub-conscious level but it will be there. Otherwise, both of you had personal planets conjuncting the others NN which always has a huge impact.

  5. Hi Nadia,

    Thank you for another very relevant aritcle. My Cancer Moon is <1° conjunct my SO's 2nd house North Node (loosely opposing his BML in 8h Capricorn!). He was indeed very frightened of his feelings toward me. It took nearly a year for him to let his guard down – which only came with my ultimatum for moving on with my own life. We've been together for 2 years now. It is crystal clear we are here to learn and guide each other. Oh, I too have Cancer North Node – square his Vertex and Pluto down to the minute!

    LOTS of learning about trust, committment, family and faith. Your point about the other factors, i.e., transits is well taken. He has Venus, Sun, Saturn, Pluto and Vertex in Libra. Saturn is just now touching his Venus. I can't help but wonder how our relationship will make it through this VERY stressful time. Once the bond was forged, neither of us could see an end to the connection. It feels lifelong – my Saturn trines his Libra stellium.

    Thanks for more invaluable help in relationship astrology.

  6. how much are your relationship chart readings? and how do you go upon doing them…phone? email? letter? If I am interested how can i reach you for it? thank you!

  7. @Marie;

    You are welcome.
    While transiting Saturn can be stressful it can also be positive. In your case, transiting Saturn over his Libra stellium will also trine your Saturn…..

  8. @danielle;

    Here is the link for my website which should give you all the information you need;

    You can also email me directly at

  9. I actually have problems understanding the seventh house. At first, I thought its all about marriage, but then again, I was wrong. Thanks for clearing it up Nadia! Kudos!

  10. currently seeing someone (sort of) who’s venus exactly conjuncts my north node in the 7th. i thought maybe that would be good. but part of me thinks its one-sided, like i’m thinking “we have to make something happen together” and he’s like…”uh, i guess you’re kind of hot…”. i don’t feel any discomfort or fear, though maybe I would if things went to the next level…

  11. littlemermaid says:

    so what’s the allowed orb? is 5 degrees still acceptable? someone I like has his North Node in 5 degrees sag, and my mars and jupiter are in 0 gemini, does that make his south node conjunct my mars and jupiter?

  12. I have my sun, mercury and venus in Leo, which conjuct with my boyfriend’s South Node (leo). He has a Venus, sun and jupiter in Leo too. But my north node’s in Saggatitus and his is in Aquarius instead. I found we have been in an on-off relationship. In which I was the one who always carry the thought that none everything he’ve done is good enough for me. i often feel like I love him way more in this relationship… But anyway, we met and feel in love like instantly. Even at that time he was a foreigner to me, who lived thousands miles away. But he’s still keep coming back. And we’re in a long-distance relationship more than a year already.. Sometimes it’s hard to keep things up. But there’re a bond that tied us together. as a girl I very often wanted to end this and moved on to something better, with a closer. But I just can’t. Trust me, I did try several times. It just doesn’t work. And seriously, I never found someone who loved as he did. And I have a belief that I won’t ever find anyone either….. Just sometimes I can’t help wanting to break out of this. we have to do it for at least 3 more years and sometimes I’m tired!! can you please base on the north node information I wrote in the beginning give a an advice. as I found all of your work are amazing and they’re so true! Thank you in advance, for reading my story and for your brillian work! :)

  13. My birthday is July 13 1990 @ 5:18am Johannesburg S.Africa. It’s a brilliant reference. Any conjnct to my Sun and thus Jup will oppose my Saturn which opps jup by a few minutes and a conjnct to my asc, will do the same to my Venus but square my moon. How does one go about dealing with these aspcts? A Scorp, Sag, Leo asc lady? jup+Sun+merc+Venus in scorp and sag moon+mars+N.Node? My N.Node= her 7th. Dam Jupiter influence not enough space, haha.

  14. Hi Nadia, is it better to have many compatible aspects or one very good one and a few oppositions and squares. I’m talking Her mars and ascendant conjunct his Sun, Jupiter and Chiron. His moon trine his Sun by minutes. Venus in the same sign. Her Venus on his ascendant by 2 degrees. His mercury conjunct her Jupiter opposite her Saturn. Sun Sextile Sun. it sure feels like we married already although we just friends. There’s a lot of empathy but no real spark. My N. Node is in her 8 and hers in my 7th. We attended primary and high school together. Met recently after a few years. She makes references to herself that I’ve written idyllicaly about in poems for ages. How would she have known?

  15. I really need some help with this one, a relationship that has been in my life for almost 20years, we are so drawn to each other, but when one wants to move forward with the connection it seems the other has fear and vice versa. We go in cycles of being in each others life and then not. It is a very powerful and magnetic connection but Im still trying to understand the meaning of our connection. The main thing that I am confused by the meaning of and would SOOOO appreciate anyone’s help on is this.

    My South Node in Taurus (late degree) conjuncts his (very early degree) Sun in Gemini (out of sign conjunction)

    His Moon in Scorp. and My North Node in Scorpio also conjunct

    Anyone have any idea what this means when there is both South Node and North Node contacts in the synastry?

  16. Some of the other contacts in our synastry if it helps

    Our Suns are conjunct
    His ASC conjunct my Moon
    Our Sun’s fall into each others 4th house
    My Venus falls into his 4th house
    Our Mars’s are trine each other
    Our Chiron’s are conjunct
    My Part Of Fortune falls on his Descendant
    His Sun, Mercury and Sth Node fall on my Descendant
    My South Node conjuncts his IC point exactly.
    My Jupiter conjuncts his IC
    His North Node semi sextile my ASC
    His Moon Squares my MC
    His Saturn and Venus (which are conjunct in his natal) fall into my 8th house
    My Uranus conjuncts his Moon

    There is more but these are the main ones I can see. Any help with this is appreciated as it has been a riddled Ive been trying to understand for over a decade!

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