Capricorn Lunar Eclipse and Me

I didn’t think I’d be feeling this eclipse, but it’s hit me hard. I’ve been d-e-pressed since Monday, acknowledging that I may indeed have to find a full-time job. Ever since I got laid off last year, I’ve been “keeping it together” through a combination of freelance work, astrology readings and blogging. My last gig ended late March, and I’ve filled my time by starting a new blog, maintaining this one, and looking for web gigs. But more and more, my family has been dipping into reserves, and it has finally hit me: no more dreaming (Jupiter-Neptune, anyone?) — it’s time to pull on the work boots.

Of course, I’ve been working my butt off, but wearing my boots while doing it. As much as possible, I’ve been trying to build (keyword: Saturn) a business without having to depend on being in the full-time employ of a company (in which case I’d be wearing their work boots). But sole proprietorship is no picnic. It’s mucho effort without much security. I put in long hours in the hopes that some of my “product” will help me to earn a decent (or better) living.

The Capricorn Lunar Eclipse is bringing all this into perspective. A lunar eclipse is a full moon that is aligned with the Moon’s Nodes. Any full moon symbolizes an energetic culmination, a “coming to head” of whatever issues have been building up to that point. The conjunction to one of the nodes simply makes the lunation feel all the more intense because there’s a karmic (or possibly fated) quality to the event. A turning point, if you will.

In my case, the eclipse is bringing to my awareness the fact that growth is slow, that I must be patient and not give up. I always wants results now, but growth for me is always tempered by the forces of delay and restriction (Saturn opposes my Jupiter and conjoins my Aries Mars).

Saturn, my dependable friend

The Capricorn eclipse is disposited by Saturn, which has been serving me a kickwich for the longest time. The planet is finally separating from an opposition to my Sun, the results of which were a change in course in my career: I decided that I am more a web publisher/editor than an astrologer. Not that I won’t continue doing readings or applying astrology to my own life or writing about it, but I will put more focus into the work I do that has an observable impact. Frankly, I seem to attract web traffic much better than I do at building a consistent, thriving counseling practice. I know that I do have an effect on my clients, but that magical “word of mouth” or attracting principle eludes me in that area of my life, whereas I don’t have too much of a problem growing Sasstrology — to the point that I believe I can replicate the effect with a blog that has nothing to do with astrology.

Unfortunately, as is the case with Saturn, the new blog is not spreading like wildfire. I have confidence that it will do well, but — as my wife reminds me — Sasstrology (in its early days as Seduction Central) did not grow by leaps and bounds when I first started it, either.

Simply put, Capricorn is about patience, persistence and hard work. Whether I get a job or not, I am re-learning the lesson (re-, because it takes me many times to integrate a teaching) that I just have to keep on keeping on, no matter how much of a trudge it is to the top of the mountain. The alternative is giving up, which is not an option.

Cancer, the nurturer

Any lunar eclipse involves two signs. The Capricorn Moon is opposed by the Cancer Sun.

While I was feeling down earlier today, I out-of-the-blue called an astro-colleague whom I haven’t spoken to in a long time. We set up a time to have a longer talk, and I realized after I got off the phone that she’s a Cancer Sun. Did I contact her because I subconsciously wanted to be nurtured? If you look at Capricorn and Cancer as the hardworking businessperson and the hardworking homemaker, respectively — and if you can look beyond the gender roles involved and just see them as archetypes — the businessperson can only truly succeed if she has someone at home upon whom she can depend, someone who takes care of her so that she feels nourished enough to go back out into the world to conquer territories and fight demons.

I’m sure that’s what I need. Although I rationally know that I can depend on my family-of-origin if finances get tough, it’s emotional support that gives me the strength to keep working at something I believe in, even if the rewards haven’t come rolling in yet.