Astrological insight is not a freebie
July 2, 2009 by Jeffrey Kishner
Warning: This is a rant.
I frequently receive Facebook friend requests from total strangers. I usually accept them, because I figure they are readers of this blog, and I have made some good acquaintances/friends with people interested in astrology. I just make sure I only publish status updates that I am comfortable broadcasting far and wide.
The other day, I accepted a friend request from someone I did not know, and within minutes my new friend initiated a FB chat and asked what good things someone born on her birthday could expect in the near future. And earlier today, someone on the forum wrote me and said she knows I like to be paid for my work, but could I please read her post because she really needed advice?
Frustrated, I published a status update on FB expressing my anger about being asked for free astrology advice, and received a response like, “If you love something, you’ll do it for free,” as well as a suggestion that I needed professional help because I sound really bitter.
Not all astrologers practice astrology for the same reason
Listen, folks — I know there are many people who believe that because astrology is “spiritual” that you shouldn’t charge for it, or that if you’re passionate about something you will just give your service/wisdom away because life is abundant and you reap what you sow and all that. But the simple fact is, if a person makes a decision to pursue a path that is not very financially rewarding, they have already chosen to make sacrifices to pursue their calling. It is one thing to work a full-time job and do astrology (or anything else: reiki, creative writing, tarot reading) in one’s off-hours, and another to make the commitment to devote one’s career to it. In that case, it seems to me just plain rude and inconsiderate to ask for free services.
I have made a conscious choice to pursue my current path as an astrologer/blogger/publisher. I accept full responsibility for whatever money comes my way, and I no longer give away anything with the expectation that I will get anything in return. That goes for content on this blog, as well as whatever astrological insight I choose to share with a specific individual. I don’t give away freebies in the hopes that I will impress someone enough that they will choose to pay for a consultation. There is more than enough “Jeff content” out there for someone to make a judgment regarding whether they will benefit from my professional services. I share insight because I want to — because I care about someone or because I find it intellectually nourishing to do so.
Here’s my unsolicited advice: Next time you want free astrological information or insight, think before you ask a professional. They may be feeling very generous that day, or they may be feeling burned out from many people tugging at them, not unlike how a harried mother of sextuplets feels.
I don’t need another mouth to feed, thank you very much.
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*sigh* It had to be said. Thanks.
Personally, I think FB sucks so…..lol. But then again I have that Virgo privacy thing.
I think the current Neptune tr. through Aqua is blurring the consequences and fogging up the total nature/picture of these new networking mediums.
“She knows I like to be paid for my work” – “like to,” that’s nice.
“If you love something, you’ll do it for free” – they must have been thinking of that song on the radio… but Sarah Borges isn’t talking about astrology.
Your time is your resource, and if you choose to spend it on someone while having no expectation of reciprocation, that is your gift to give. Asking someone for free help – especially when there is no relationship there – is like demanding a gift from a stranger. It’s clueless at best.
It all feels very 2nd house / 8th house to me: what’s mine, what’s yours, and how do we value ourselves and ask for what we’re worth.
I love a good rant, feel free to write more
I don’t charge for astrological advice. It’s just not what I have chosen to do for income, supplemental or otherwise, maybe I will one day, maybe that day is sooner than later, but for now I don’t.
I tend to evaluate things on a barter system though. Has that person helped me at any point? Do they give me advice on things, astrologically or otherwise? Would they do me a favour if I asked them to? If they do/have/will, then they have a greater chance of getting what they ask for. Strangers rarely ever get advice if they ask for it, though at times I will offer it if I think it’ll be fun and interesting to do so. Then, this is my hobby, not my livelihood.
I’ve left many astro forums where people randomly show up and expect readings for free. I don’t so much mind if they’re trying to learn and want help, but so many often don’t want to learn anything, they just want answers.
I feel for you on this one. My partner and I run a painting business, and I’d be equally as perturbed if someone asked me to paint their house for free simply because I can, and friends have asked on more than one occasion. My partner answers them with a question of “This is how I earn my living, how do you expect me to do that giving away things for free? Would you {insert their occupation} for me for nothing?” It helps them to understand that we’re not being jerks, but that they would no more do us a “favour” by doing our income taxes or wiring our network for nothing when that’s what they do for a living.
If people did what they love for free, we’d have two types of people, those dead of starvation, and those that are unhappy doing something they don’t love for a living.
Jeff, I have so “been there.” I am not currently doing private astrology consultations, but when I did (1988-2003), I had the same adventure in learing about boundaries. I recall, especially, being not-so-subtly scolded by a woman at a psychic fair where I was doing mini-readings. She told me all about this terrific reader she used to go to who “never took a penny.” She wasn’t even subtle. I gathered from certain references that this sainted psychic she mentioned was fully supported financially by her husband. Doctors, lawyers, clergy, and astrologers all still need to make a living. If it’s any consolation, all those professions get the same boundary tests by people at cocktail parties, etc. The Internet just gives us more oopportunities to meet them.
I found having clearly written policies in my marketing materials and short verbal versions of them at the ready helps. And I had no qualms about mentioning the high cost of my astrological education, which I think few non-astrologers realize is no cheap date. I keep thinking of your rant as a good air-clearing. It reminds me in the best way of one of my favorite sayings by the late Ann Landers. I used to read her a lot as a kid. She said, “If you act like a doormat, don’t complain if you’re stepped on.” Complaining is the appropriate response.
Anything that’s worthwhile has a price!
And it has more value / is more appreciated if you’ve had to pay for it from your own pocket in the first place.
Bugger that doing things for free malarky! Think you did the right thing Jeff. Hope you blocked them from your friends’ list afterwards – they aint no friend!
This is definitely all about 2nd house issues. You go ahead and charge for your services, Jeffrey. This is how we help to keep the Universe balanced!
Often times, there is more value placed on something paid for than something given for free.
I am not an astrologer, nor have I ever asked for free astrology advice from any self-identified, clairvoyant, intuitive astrologer, or any type of astrologer for that matter. Apparently everybody and everything including knowledge of any type spiritual, physical, metaphysical has a price, this is just the material world we are living in. I do agree astrologers should not work for free, everybody has bills to pay and has to put food on the table.
However it should be a consistent practice of not offering free advice, if an astrologer chooses so. Vacillating between offering and not offering free advice according to one’s mood or the side of the bed one has woken up on is again an inconsistent, selfish approach… in my humble opinion.
I also consider that astrologers who are asked for free advice should adopt a more understanding, more polite and less bitter approach to explaining people that astrology is not for free, maybe in an ideal, utopic world, but not in this one. Astrology has been in disgrace for centuries, little by little has begun to come to light and be respected again.
Please do not send astrology back in disgrace, ignorance and oblivion. Not the time of Spanish Inquisition again. Be respectful towards people and decline to offer help in a considerate manner.
Dorina, so if a massage therapist — who spent good money for her education and spent countless intern hours to qualify for her license — decided to give a free neckrub to a friend who asked nicely and not to a total stranger who asked for one, that would be considered selfish?
Valkyria, I also evaluate, not so much in terms of bartering, but in terms of my connectedness to someone. One forum member who I’ve had enough interactions with to hold in regard asked me for help, and I offered it, because I felt she was in my “network.” It was only about a specific aspect and I named the terms under which I’d be available. If I feel absolutely no relatedness to someone and their first ever interaction with me is “what can you do for me,” I don’t feel called to be helpful.
PiscesLibraVirgo, I do agree about Neptune in Aquarius. It provides the illusion that we’re all connected via these online networks, which makes it just that much more difficult to determine where to draw the line, because Neptune does not acknowledge boundaries.
Hi Jeffrey,
You are well within your rights to accept or deny giving “free” astrological advice to whomever you wish at whatever time you wish, for any reason you wish. I am with you, and no, you do not give something away for free because you have a natural affinity for it, or because you love doing it, or for any other reason than it strikes your fancy to do so at that moment. People who do not deal with the more “esoteric” sciences have no clue how much time and effort (and money!) we devote to study and practice. we have to be able to tell them “I don’t think so” when they overstep boundaries. I am behind you 100%.
the plight of the small businessman the world over!
it’s truly shocking the lengths of selfishness some folks can take.
no shame in giving for no reason, no shame in not doing so. plenty of shame in demanding for no reason. makes one almost want to stop giving at all but that would make the one a different one indeed.
I am also aggravated at other people, especially strangers, asking for free things. I’m an artistic person. I paint and write among other things and I couldn’t count the times people have asked me to just give away something I spent my time on. At one of my art shows a man that I had met once before asked me to paint a wall mural in his kid’s bedroom… for free! He did not even offer to buy supplies, and oil paints are expensive! When I told him that there was no way I would consider it, he said I was selfish too. He couldn’t understand why I would paint on the walls of the venue for free but not at his home. I got to show my art at the venue. It was a simple give and take not a “bend over backward and give me this” situation. Good for you Jeff, for ranting and letting everyone know how frustrating it can be.
Jeff, all your hard work is appreciated…thank you for all that you contribute!
I don’t give it away, nor should you. Hey, if my SISTER thinks my astrological advice is valuable enough to pay for it, then a total stranger should too.
People who assume that your time and effort should be free is not placing a high value on your services.
Just sounds to me like you are learning to draw healthy boundaries. Neptune is insidious and not always healthy – a good dose of Saturn every now and then is tonic for the soul.
Amen. : )
Lol, I cluelessly thought that was what this blog was about, as I saw you answer someone else’s astrology question, and I was about to make the very faux pas you were ranting about. I may be out of line, but I have to ask: why did you not simply tell that person you charge for your services, and that is the end?
Ana