Do Cancer men forgive?

angry Cancer manDue to his fiercely protective nature, be careful what you ask for from a Cancer man, or you’ll see him go into mental accounting mode. You know when you ask someone for a favor and you can see him mulling it over in his head, thinking of something you can do for him in return? Yep, that’s Cancer for you! The Crab feels safe and secure inside his shell once he knows has the upper hand on favors — it ensures his survival. That warm, sensitive, codependent demeanor is really just a front for getting his needs met. Being the fourth sign of the zodiac, it is still a “self” sign.* Cancers are concerned with preservation and protection, not only of themselves but also of those they love — at least while they love you, because it becomes a different story once the romance ends.

This water sign is associated with emotions and orientation to the past. Cancers remember everything to do with anyone they have given their heart to. Tending not to be the optimistic types, they tend to focus on the less desirable aspects of relationships — the arguments, fights and the hurtful words slung at each other in anger. As long as these thoughts permeate their perception of the past, your Cancer probably won’t forgive you.

Each time he falls in love, it’s like a crab taking a life-threatening risk by darting out from under seaside rocks, exposing itself to swooping seagulls or crashing waves. For a Cancer, taking the leap of faith and risking his heart for love is as life-threatening as the seagull’s beak. So for all that risk, the Cancer expects a return on his investment. If you prove to be a bad debt, he will never forgive you.

* Aries-Cancer are personal; Leo-Scorpio are social; Sagittarius-Pisces are transpersonal. [Editor]

About the Author

Cassandra TyndallCassandra Tyndall is an avid professional astrologer based in Sydney, who offers readings to clients locally, interstate and all over the globe. Known for her passion, skill and honesty, Cassandra combines traditional and modern techniques to enhance specific predictions for individuals, couples and businesses. She has been a regular contributor to the annual WellBeing Astrology Guide, and is the resident astrologer for Australia’s Women’s Health & Fitness magazine.

Related: What to do when your Cancer man is angry at you


  1. Selfish and self-centered, crabs can often be found saying, “Oh, I’m so sensitive.” Good thing the rest of us are made of cement and can’t be hurt.

    Right on, crab!

  2. I have seen cancer men forgive even the most terrible things. It just depends on if they truly love you or not, and still think that their investment can last.

  3. Matthew Currie says:

    No, of course not. Nor should they. After all, it’s all YOUR fault. :)

  4. let’s not talking about love. Cancer men rant behind your back and to your…friend about him having to give you a ride home. In fact, it was him who offered and said “No problem, dear”

    Sensitive to their own (inflated) feelings. No reason at all.

  5. It’s interesting because my mom is a Cancer, and when I wasn’t receptive to the love I received from a Cancer man I was dating, my mom told me the same thing – Cancers, especially, never forget a wrongdoing. Is this the sign that’s the most focused on wrongdoings and not being able to let go of the past? Also, I’m a Sagittarius, so that probably wasn’t the best romance for me to get into to begin with!

  6. I am a Pisces Female. My first relationship was with a cancer male. We met at a family members club where his band was playing. He came to introduce himself and we exchanged e-mails . We ended up having a very close year-long long-distance relationship. He ended up telling me that he thought he was falling in love with me, and soon after that I ended the relationship. I couldn’t deal with being so in love with someone and so far away from him. It just felt un-real and like I was wasting my time beucase we couldn’t really be together. That was about 7 years ago now and I have been thinking about talking to him again, does anyone have any advise on how to go about getting him to atleast accept my apology?

  7. This is related to the last posting (Leeann) This is going to be very long…so sorry ahead of time =) Wow…I am going through this right now as we speak and actually have been since January. My cancer guy was my perfect match. We clicked right off the bat and talked every day and every night. and this is no joke. I met him when I was 18 and Im 23 now. We talked for 8 months. He lives in another state then I do. We met through family and friends. To make the long long story short..back when I was 19..we talked like we were the best of friends. I was young immature and did not know how to interpret signals he may have given me (keep in mind I say signals) because he never came out and said “hey I like you alot, maybe we should be together” that never happened and after 8 months I really just accepted that maybe it was never going to happen.((very confusing))so…as I got older I realized what his words and actions really meant, but too late. I was young, single, having fun and was begining to date. I started my new job around the time I met him and also met my “EX” of 3 years. Thats where the situation happened. While me and the cancer were the “best of friends” my “EX” stepped up to the plate. Actually, my “EX” knows of the cancer guy and he even explained to me that he did not want to see me with anyone else and that is why he asked me to be his girlfriend. He knew other guys wanted to get serious and he liked me too much to let me go. My “EX” lives here where I am at, we worked togther and it just seemed that my “love” for cancer guy wouldnt last because he lived so far and even though I wanted to kiss, hug, laugh and be with my cancer guy that would not happen. I finally convinced myself. Well things got a bit complicated when through the grape vine my cancer guy heard that I was dating. He never told me that he heard of this. I wad told and that was when I really had to think about what I wanted to do. It was very sad and it hurt, but I felt that we both deserved the opportunity to be with someone close by that we can acutally be with. I didnt not know how he felt about me. Im a Gemini and appreciate communication, but like I said I was young and immature and did not know what to do at the time. I never forgot about him. I always wanted to know if he was okay. Just one day we just stopped talking. The “EX” and me actually got serious and were together for awhile. I am single now and actually hit up my cancer “buddy” to see how he had been (thank god for email)Overall me and him got to know eachother so well that I did see him as a best friend and cared about him. He replied back and we have been in contact ever since, but it is not the same. I have gone to visit in his area a couple times now and we meet up, but he is very distant from me. Before we never got physical and now it did (what I mean by that.. we kiss and stuff, but No Sex!!). OMG it was what I always wanted, but it was just not the same. This has been happening everytime. It is very frustrating and it hurts. When we talk I feel like he is holding back in saying how he really feels. I know and feel that he is sad, mad or whatever. He just doesnt say it. Deep down after not talking to him I felt that he might have been hurt. I was hurt as well because he was the guy I never forgot about. I emailed him explaining to him the situation. I know he is not going to come out and say anything so since I dont care about what people think and i tell it like it is…I came out and said it. I confessed my feelings for him and how I felt about him a couple years ago.I couldnt believe I did it, but I did. I spoke from the heart and didnt expect anything back. I just felt he needed to know.

    It is now confirmed that he was hurt. The last time I saw him (we had been drinking) he made a comment that I would have been the “one” if “all that?” wouldnt have happened. That is all he said. He told me that he loved my email, but thats all he said. I asked him to explain himself and he wouldnt. I know they hate confrontations or awkward situations so I let it go. When I am out there he always wants to “hook up”. I know he dates other females and it bothers me, but what can I say. Finally this last time I told him, hey dont you have a GF? I was not planning on hooking up with him at all becuz of this. He said no, and kept trying. Then he came out and said that he might soon. I walked away and he came after me. In a miraculous way a friend of a friend found out that night that he confessed that he had been hurt. He doesnt know how to act around me. If he drinks he doesnt hold back, but when hes sober he is very cautious and acts like he doesnt care. When we stopped talking he didnt know what to do with the feelings he had for me and had to preety much just throw them away and try to forget about me. I try to talk to him and be nice, and try to get it back the way it used to be, but he is not budging. Very hard. Am I willing to put in the work. Yup! Give up half the way? Maybe! I mean after what almost 6 months of just putting up with his “jerkness” sometimes hes nice and sometimes hes not. He ignores me and wont reply back to messages, etc , etc. Im thinking that this might be his longest unofficial was told he dated two other girls after talking with me that actually he made into GF’s. They didnt last more than 2 months. He just cant seem to find one that he clicks with for long term. I just want him to be honest with me and maybe we can talk about it. If we dont talk about it atleast let me show him that I do care and that I would want to see if anything happens. He knows now that even a friendship is good, but like it used to be. I said I was sorry and that my intentions were never to hurt him. I cant ask for anything else, but he always pushes it to that level and I hate it because he acts like he cares and then I wont hear from him. I told him that I am not going to be his random hookup when I come around. I have feelings. No response. If I get a message it will be like nothing happened. I really dont know what to do anymore. I cant say anything because we are not togther and then again we live far. I truly and honestly belive he is scared that I will leave again. Im a very realistic person and I think that is what it is. I understand, but I dont know how to make him feel secure again. Im not young or immature anymore. I would suggest just talking to him. If you dont try you will never know. Take it slow and dont have any expectations. I would have never in a million years would have thought this would have all happened. I hope one day my cancer guy forgives me.

  8. Oh dear, Crabs are as bad as Scorpios when it comes to torturing women.

    This is what I’ve noticed: they use women emotionally. And they might really like the women they’re using, too.

    Judie writes that he said something to the effect that, “You would have been the one.” Notice the past tense? When a Crab does puruse someone he thinks is “the one,” there is no doubt. You won’t have to ask, “Is he really into me or not?”

    There are Crabs who have girlfriends, Crabs who are married: who are committed. So when he does not commit what is it saying?

    I’ve just has a friend relate the same scenario about a crab who then went and married someone who lived in the same country as he does. Self-centered, these crabs. And they don’t do long-distance too well.

    Yeah, they’re sensitive. Yeah, they probably like you. But they’re shrewd as hell. Please factor that in when you try and figure out these Moon-Children.

  9. Yup. Very interesting situations they like to get into and use to their advantage. Its hard dont get me wrong because they just know how to get to you, but I’m not a toy and have learned alot. It seems like he just wants to hang on to “this” whatever it is.. just in case. When I aksed him to explain, he said it doesnt matter anymore. So I guess I answered my own question. I mean its different signs. He has came down and called so we can meet up (and we have). I appreciated that because I always tell him when Im down there, but then he disappears.

    I’m just going to leave it alone. I’m not going to be that “just in case”. Were friends and thats about it. Like you said, I would have been the “one” and since it didnt get to that point its in the past. =)

  10. Judie:

    Heartily know,
    When half-gods go,
    The gods arrive.

  11. aTrueAquarius says:

    Cancer male? I’ve been on and off with one for 3 years. In the beginning he was my soul mate the perfect gentleman. Then one day I find out he has another GF who is pregnant. And him being a Cancer he puts her 1st being that she’s carrying his child. he broke up with me so they could be a family. Mind u I was here 1st. But I forgive him. And he cheated with her again while I was pregnant which caused me to miscarry because of stress. After that I left him alone. He’s back now tryna be back with me. But the question is can u forgive the cancer male? Not can he forgive u. Even though I’ve never cheated on him. He tempted me the entire 3 years. With his consist nagging, judgemental-ness, lies, deception, emotional manipulation. So stay away from the cancer male. And I’m an aquarius so tryna be in a relationship was hard enough all dis time but he has not made it any easier. I can’t keep tryna prove I love dis idiot when I’ve never done anything wrong. He claims he only cheats because he thinks I’m cheating or he doesn’t know I care. Which is a lie. I tell him I love him all the time and how much I wanna be there for hinm but he’s always withdrawing into his shell or into the claws of another woman. He’s drained me these last 3 years. Don’t do it ladies.

  12. I like this, “But the question is can u forgive the cancer male?” :)

  13. Is it difficult for a Cancer male to say their sorry I mean the actual words?
    I tell you all is true hear from what I have read here on Cancer men.They ae complex but do no how to torture women and the mind games..

    So lets hear if its possible for a Cancer Man to say Sorry..?

  14. Yep, they do say it. And really are,I believe, when they like you a lot.

  15. tauRusGaL says:

    i have been dating a cancer for two years… n he is leaving for his college now..before this we have had a few arguments on stuff all of which were resolved n now just a week before leaving he abruptly breaks off without any explanation.. ..what do i do?? shud i contact him again ..n hint that i m willing to keep in touch wid him??…or shud i just leave it??..

  16. CrazyCancer says:

    they can forgive but they can never never never never never never forget!!
    but it’s not impossible a good friend of mine is a cancer and he’s still pining over an ex who cheated on him and dumped him for an ex she was never really over in the first place

    and i’m a cancer and pining for an ex (who happens to be a cancer) who dumped me and I told him off. Space is just needed but if you were to try again get him to concentrate on the good times

  17. Cancers are the nicest guys I ever dated. They’re predictable, reliable, family oriented and clingy.

    I like them.

  18. I have posted before it is a long road with a cancer male just do not give up they need lots of attention and they are babies they need to know u care and are with them they are babies really they are they care deeply but are afraid of being hurt I suppose. So just be there let them know u care I am Aries we get bad raps with Cancers but its on the whole chart of both so never say never. persistence is a must….

    Aries and Cancers are good for each other.

  19. rain of salvation says:

    cancer males are sensitive people but be careful, they are good at emotional balckmails and manipulations too..they will always end up saying “you’re so special, greatest strength, missed you so much” but be sure of things before you give them your committment..if you’re a fire sign, its a no-no deal..worst thing is, they are not straightforward need to baby them evrytime, which can be emotionally taxing for u young ladies..

  20. Char, you obviously must be n**s. Is water compatible with Fire? Cancerians dread being in a relation with Aries. If you are an Aries in a relationship with Cancerian (or think you are), you need to get your perspectives cleared.

  21. I am a leo married to a cancer man. My moon is in Taurus and my Venus is in Cancer. I have always been attracted to earth and water. I hated that. But now that I’m older I see things differently. Are my husband and I 100% compatible?..No..but he does meet the silent pleas of my heart and I love him dearly. I might as well learn the life lessons that water can teach fire, we all have to someday. And what better way than from someone you love.

  22. my cancer man is gud. he does not yell at me at all. but jus tortures me sometimes for only one thing – SEX. he wants me to be ready all the time. or else he will start playing too bad, holding grudges he will make me pay later. he tags himself as sensitive but hes not what he says…hes an emotional blackmailer…with a shell ready to crawl in at unfavourable times

  23. As a cancer sun, scorpio moon, I seem to never forget. I will remember in great detail the things my partner said and did for many years. The cut off for me seems to be around 8 years, after that my memory just becomes more foggy, but you can bet that if you meet me again after a year or two that we parted that I will remember you quite well.

    And yes Cancer/Aries relationships can work out. It depends on placement of your other planets in your birth chart. You can be a Cancer Sun sign with a lot of fire in your chart while your partner can be an Aries Sun sign with a lot of water, and you will get along wonderfully well.

  24. julie gehrt says:

    I am a Taurus woman in a 10 year reationship with a Cancer man. He has broke my heart over and over. I love him still. When we were first together. I was sooo happy. Now im sad and depressed everyday. As an Earth sign,I know our feelings do not change for someone we love. I believe his has changed for me, but he will not admit to it. But I know how he acts towards me and how he treats me now, which is completely the opposite from how he used to treat me. I want to be over him. And I pray every single day of my life that I will be soon.

  25. I was dating a Cancer man and I must say…That was him who “wrongdone” me with no concern for my feelings whatsoever. And surely I wont forget, despite his endearingly innocent faith we are, or should be, friends. No way, step back you dope! One of the top egoists I met in my life, after a year – oh how I still wish I’d hurt him so he would never forgive me. Yet, he stubbornly refuses to hate me or fear me.
    I’m a Sagittarian woman with ascendant in Cancer. He is a Cancer with a moon in Sagittarius. Well.

  26. and no, they wont say they’re sorry, unless you squeeze it out of them with torture. Still, it won’t be all truth. For now they feel abused. And they feel sorry they’ve been abused.
    apparently, all cancer males I came across plus my cancerian sister- were very prone to cheating.
    My date-out-of-hell was first cheating on me, then cheating with me on his fiance. What can I say, THEY NEVER FORGET, even their attraction to past lovers.

  27. spellbell13xx says:

    Ok guys I have a story about a Cancer man and trying
    To win his forgiveness. We met when I was 17. Just a few weeks earlier I had lost a year and a half relationship with my first love. I was also anorexic , and as of then I was diagnosed with depression (which was so WRONG I turned out to be bipolar which I knew I was since I was a kid but nobody wanted to listen to me.. Anyway that’s another story). I was in a bad state when I met my cancer but he didn’t care. He fiercely pursued me even though I explained over and over that I was broken in so so many ways. But in the end I gave in. I really liked him I really did. Anyway so we stRted belatedly dating and then spring break came- and my trip back to Florida where my EX lived. I told cancer man I needed time to think I was so confused… And he did the impossible. He FOLLOWED ME TO FLORIDA TO FIGHT FOR ME. it was in a pool house late at night when he was singing the song he wrote for me and playing his guitar that I realized I was in love with him. I went back with him and things were great for a while… Until my anorexia and depression kicked in and I cut out everyone from my life bit by bit withdrawing into my own shell. I wouldn’t leave the house or see anyone. Finally he had had enough… And I lost him. He ran to another state to escape me. He told me I was his first love. A year or so later, I got sober and my dad got cancer… I realized how much he had meant to me and wrote him a long letter telling him I was still in love with him. After a long time of agonizing over it he told me he couldnt he was with someone else and I had hurt him so deeply… I tried to give him up but I still love him. He’s single now. But he won’t talk to me or see me. He’s afraid. I know because he and my dad got close and sometimes dad let’s things slip, like that he still talks to his best friend about me… Now I’m writing a book. I am the main character and HE is my lover. I made it obvious that it was him. In the end I get locked away by the villain… And need someone to save me. I intend to send him a copy when it’s published with a handwritten note in the back just for him asking if he will be the one to save me. I honestly can’t imagine my life without him. Any support or advice would be much appreciated. In the meantime, while I finish my book, I’m leaving him completely alone and getting my OWN shit together. Please help!!!!

  28. “She is like the wind” thats what you need to be when in love with a cancer,ive loved one since i met him 10 years ago,i told him these feelings,and he was heartless,will not speak to me and refuses contact,i asked him i said just tell me you have know feelings and i will never bother you again(silence)no that would defete the purpose of haveing me hang around for another 10,while he shacks up with his bambi girl,and i wait in the wings,i loved him always and i still do but im going and never looking bk,i kept asking for his forgivness and to be in his life he does not deserve mine,using my heart as a football,these men are poision,drop i love you like daily shites,and are very self centred they are all about number1 and find your weakness then bleed you dry like a vampire,he new my weakness was silence and not getting a straight answer, and he exploited it, and while he travelled the world for a year,i was in agony,i lost my job,half my hair and did not want to live,i went through hell and he did not care, they are show men,most leaders of the world and millitary men are cancers and water signs, they are eveil,and only love you when it suits them,i thought someone hated me up there not being able to have him in my life,now i think someone is watching over me,i hope so,”in the words of Catherine Jenkins Time to say goodbye,
    be carefull ladies they will ruin your life,and shatter your hearts.

  29. Me and my cancer man just broke up everything you ladies said about cancer men is true..I want him back but he is being so mean and cold against me..I feel hopeless. I wasn’t the one who started the argument but I’m trying to fix it not him! we’ve been together for a year and this its the 4th big argument we’ve had and he left

  30. it seems like there are so many articles, forums etc about cancer men, and most of the time they are not good. i also had bad experience with a cancer man but he never won againts me. I gave him his own dose of medicine. we really never became bf and gf coz all he did was head games. it was a roller coaster ride of emotion. Well, I think i HURT him more than he hurt me coz cancer men are sensitive. they feel deep emotion. Now I am happy with my life with someone else. and he is there forcing himself to move on with a woman who has been into many open relationships. well i guess it’s just for a show. IDK
    i have a friend of mine whose bf is a cancer, and her love story with him is also not good. she wud always complain and cry.

  31. I’m a Leo sun and a Pisces moon. Been with my cancer man for 7 months now. He fell in love with me since 2002 when he first met me and we got reacquainted on Facebook recently a year ago. We started awesome but then the moods came out by the 4th month of our relationship. Now, we had a big fight because I said to him that I wanted to be friends with his friends. He took it wrong and thought I was going to spy on him which is not the case. He falsely accuses me for being fake and having a narcissistic ego. I just want him in his life. I don’t want to fight with his vicious mood swings on a constant. I do love him very much and I’m left with a broken heart. What should I do?

  32. Very sensitive men. They hold onto bad experiences and judge everyone by those experiences. The test has already been graded and you didn’t even know you had to take it. Saying sorry is never enough for them. They want blood. They want you to jump off a building. Emotional manipulation is right. They are kings at it and it is beyond tiring for the average person who has emotional stability. Let them brood and who cares if they come back. They don’t appear to have grown past their 13 year old emotional self. Boo hoo.

  33. Mrs Chinaberry says:

    I took the time to read each post an the only part I am convinced to believe is they are emotionally immature true an need 24 hour assurety. I really believe its based on your character, chemestry an compatiblity cause they are human not monsters an sweet as sugar. If asked every one has there own ways an may be stuck in a few in denile.. Everyone don’t come in your life to stay so pick an choose wisely or wait on God sent. I Love my cancer man an he is the best thus far btw im a Virgo ?..

  34. Mrs Chinaberry says:

    O an yes they are forgiving with open arms unless you hurt them verbally or physically

  35. Mz True Indeed says:

    I been with a cancer man 4yrs and we broke up the day after my b-day and we talk a few times after but now we dont talk at all i call he never text back i miss him so much and dont know if we will get back together please help………

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