Comments on: Cosmic Dating with PensiveGemini: The other woman http://sasstrology.com/2009/04/cosmic-dating-with-pensivegemini-the-other-woman.html Tue, 16 Mar 2010 15:30:35 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: zutons http://sasstrology.com/2009/04/cosmic-dating-with-pensivegemini-the-other-woman.html/comment-page-1#comment-45619 zutons Tue, 18 Aug 2009 18:35:11 +0000 http://sasstrology.com/?p=5247#comment-45619 Similar situation. Leo female dating a Capricorn man. Noticed female products in the bathroom, however he never once made the effort to conceal them. They were empty. I never once inquired because I am not suspicious of him. Very recently, I noticed they were removed, his counter top was clean, and thought, ah interesting. Then I noticed the empty bottles dumped into one of his drawers. I think of this as strange behaviour. When people hold onto things, something about living in the past perhaps? Just curious as to why. Men, why? Similar situation.

Leo female dating a Capricorn man.

Noticed female products in the bathroom, however he never once made the effort to conceal them. They were empty.

I never once inquired because I am not suspicious of him.

Very recently, I noticed they were removed, his counter top was clean, and thought, ah interesting. Then I noticed the empty bottles dumped into one of his drawers.

I think of this as strange behaviour. When people hold onto things, something about living in the past perhaps?

Just curious as to why.

Men, why?

]]> By: TCA http://sasstrology.com/2009/04/cosmic-dating-with-pensivegemini-the-other-woman.html/comment-page-1#comment-27876 TCA Sat, 02 May 2009 06:45:13 +0000 http://sasstrology.com/?p=5247#comment-27876 PG, I agree... I know she has a poor (not horrible) relationship with her father and that it could play a role in the choices she makes in who she goes out with. And what she is willing to put up with. PG - And I’m sure that guy is not against guilt trips. If he’s acting up in this way it is only a matter of time before she lets go completely. Maybe this situation with the puppies was the last straw… it may have thrown her over the edge, forced her to really pay attention to everything thats been bothering her, affecting her, attacking her… for some ppl, disappearing and taking our space is sometimes a way of taking a stand and taking back our hearts, our minds, our time, even if from those that never crossed that line to begin with, just to regenerate, organize our feelings or even delve into them deeper… I know he (ex) tries to manipulated people, and playing on guilt wouldn't be out of his back of tricks from what I've heard. I actually think it was a comment that her ex made that is causing the added distance. It was basically accusing her of leading on every other guy in her life that he is (was) insecure about. Its something small but I know she worries about that type of thing since we've talked about it (that exact issue) in the past. I've just been giving it some time and trusting that she's capable of realizing she can't lead me on that easily. At the same time though I really don't want her to worry about it if it is what I think. Its been nearing a week since then and she's been a little less distant communication wise as well though we did see a little less of each other this week too. I'm fairly sure she's getting over him slowly but surely. I can only take it as a good sign that she didn't even mention him yesterday. Tough we didn't spend all that much time together. AquaLover, You said a mouthful of truth there. Its not just women that get into emotionally abusive relations though, even if it's more commonly admitted by them. I remember when I got out of my last relationship I didn't think I could do anything right by someone simply because anything that I did do was down graded to satisfying a fleeting whim of hers. Due to that though I add appreciation to my list of relationship needs though. So keep in mind the bad things you experience in relationships matter just as much as the good in figuring out what you really want and need. PG,
I agree… I know she has a poor (not horrible) relationship with her father and that it could play a role in the choices she makes in who she goes out with. And what she is willing to put up with.

PG – And I’m sure that guy is not against guilt trips. If he’s acting up in this way it is only a matter of time before she lets go completely. Maybe this situation with the puppies was the last straw… it may have thrown her over the edge, forced her to really pay attention to everything thats been bothering her, affecting her, attacking her… for some ppl, disappearing and taking our space is sometimes a way of taking a stand and taking back our hearts, our minds, our time, even if from those that never crossed that line to begin with, just to regenerate, organize our feelings or even delve into them deeper…

I know he (ex) tries to manipulated people, and playing on guilt wouldn’t be out of his back of tricks from what I’ve heard. I actually think it was a comment that her ex made that is causing the added distance. It was basically accusing her of leading on every other guy in her life that he is (was) insecure about. Its something small but I know she worries about that type of thing since we’ve talked about it (that exact issue) in the past. I’ve just been giving it some time and trusting that she’s capable of realizing she can’t lead me on that easily. At the same time though I really don’t want her to worry about it if it is what I think. Its been nearing a week since then and she’s been a little less distant communication wise as well though we did see a little less of each other this week too.

I’m fairly sure she’s getting over him slowly but surely. I can only take it as a good sign that she didn’t even mention him yesterday. Tough we didn’t spend all that much time together.

AquaLover,
You said a mouthful of truth there. Its not just women that get into emotionally abusive relations though, even if it’s more commonly admitted by them. I remember when I got out of my last relationship I didn’t think I could do anything right by someone simply because anything that I did do was down graded to satisfying a fleeting whim of hers. Due to that though I add appreciation to my list of relationship needs though. So keep in mind the bad things you experience in relationships matter just as much as the good in figuring out what you really want and need.

]]> By: Matthew Currie http://sasstrology.com/2009/04/cosmic-dating-with-pensivegemini-the-other-woman.html/comment-page-1#comment-27606 Matthew Currie Thu, 30 Apr 2009 22:40:30 +0000 http://sasstrology.com/?p=5247#comment-27606 Hmm. Had either of the cans been used? And if these items were of some emotional significance to him, would they be under the sink? Just playing Devil's Advocate on behalf of all poorly-organized male slobs out there. ;) Hmm. Had either of the cans been used? And if these items were of some emotional significance to him, would they be under the sink?

Just playing Devil’s Advocate on behalf of all poorly-organized male slobs out there. ;)

]]> By: PensiveGemini http://sasstrology.com/2009/04/cosmic-dating-with-pensivegemini-the-other-woman.html/comment-page-1#comment-27588 PensiveGemini Thu, 30 Apr 2009 19:47:53 +0000 http://sasstrology.com/?p=5247#comment-27588 It's true... when you feel a certain way about yourself, you allow others to feel the same way and treat you in whatever way reflects that opinion... if you are used to and okay with someone talking down to you--maybe a parent spoke to you a that way--those cycles continue... since its familiar, you allow others to treat you the same... am I making sense? I learned that a bit ago and it made me reflect on what I'm okay with and not okay with in relationships... It came to a point where I noticed my ex talking to me in the same way my mother spoke to me, extremely critical--I don't like this about you, why do you wear that, why dont you do this instead... both inspired the same reaction--I would shrink up into a ball, hesitate, question myself and feel insecure... I would let it slide because I thought, maybe its because he loves me that he says that to me, because my mother spoke to me that way and she loves me, right? It's amazing how long it can take for things to dawn on you, but it gets there... It’s true… when you feel a certain way about yourself, you allow others to feel the same way and treat you in whatever way reflects that opinion… if you are used to and okay with someone talking down to you–maybe a parent spoke to you a that way–those cycles continue… since its familiar, you allow others to treat you the same… am I making sense? I learned that a bit ago and it made me reflect on what I’m okay with and not okay with in relationships… It came to a point where I noticed my ex talking to me in the same way my mother spoke to me, extremely critical–I don’t like this about you, why do you wear that, why dont you do this instead… both inspired the same reaction–I would shrink up into a ball, hesitate, question myself and feel insecure… I would let it slide because I thought, maybe its because he loves me that he says that to me, because my mother spoke to me that way and she loves me, right? It’s amazing how long it can take for things to dawn on you, but it gets there…

]]> By: AquaLover http://sasstrology.com/2009/04/cosmic-dating-with-pensivegemini-the-other-woman.html/comment-page-1#comment-27582 AquaLover Thu, 30 Apr 2009 18:31:24 +0000 http://sasstrology.com/?p=5247#comment-27582 TCA, PenGem, I asked the question, does she respect herself to point out that she is ultimately in control of this situation. Everyone has a choice of what standard of life, relationships, friends, etc they want for themselves. When I was in an abusive marriage, I had no respect for myself. Emotional abuse whittles down your self-esteem until you think that you somehow deserve this kind of treatment. I have heard many stories from my women friends of how their boyfriend, husband, significant other repeatedly crossed that respect line and they didn't know what to do. I always asked the same question, what is the quality of life you want for yourself? Do you always want to feel this way? When a person respects themselves, they feel that they deserve better, that they deserve to be loved in a good way, that they are worthy not worthless. They won't waste their time with messing with someone's head to get even because in doing so you are still engaged in your old relationship and can never move on. Just food for thought. TCA, PenGem, I asked the question, does she respect herself to point out that she is ultimately in control of this situation. Everyone has a choice of what standard of life, relationships, friends, etc they want for themselves. When I was in an abusive marriage, I had no respect for myself. Emotional abuse whittles down your self-esteem until you think that you somehow deserve this kind of treatment. I have heard many stories from my women friends of how their boyfriend, husband, significant other repeatedly crossed that respect line and they didn’t know what to do. I always asked the same question, what is the quality of life you want for yourself? Do you always want to feel this way? When a person respects themselves, they feel that they deserve better, that they deserve to be loved in a good way, that they are worthy not worthless. They won’t waste their time with messing with someone’s head to get even because in doing so you are still engaged in your old relationship and can never move on. Just food for thought.

]]> By: PensiveGemini http://sasstrology.com/2009/04/cosmic-dating-with-pensivegemini-the-other-woman.html/comment-page-1#comment-27581 PensiveGemini Thu, 30 Apr 2009 17:47:58 +0000 http://sasstrology.com/?p=5247#comment-27581 "The does she respect herself is a good question. I think she must or she wouldn’t have taken some of the relationship issues so personally. However its not a question that I’ve asked so I really wouldn’t know for a fact." Its really difficult to believe that the person you like or admire doesn't respect themselves, because, why wouldnt these amazing people respect themselves, right? but we are only human... Sometimes letting go is hard even when things have gone sour. And I'm sure that guy is not against guilt trips. If he's acting up in this way it is only a matter of time before she lets go completely. she wants to, its just not always so black and white even when things seem so clear to everyone else. Maybe this situation with the puppies was the last straw... it may have thrown her over the edge, forced her to really pay attention to everything thats been bothering her, affecting her, attacking her... for some ppl, disappearing and taking our space is sometimes a way of taking a stand and taking back our hearts, our minds, our time, even if from those that never crossed that line to begin with, just to regenerate, organize our feelings or even delve into them deeper... “The does she respect herself is a good question. I think she must or she wouldn’t have taken some of the relationship issues so personally. However its not a question that I’ve asked so I really wouldn’t know for a fact.”

Its really difficult to believe that the person you like or admire doesn’t respect themselves, because, why wouldnt these amazing people respect themselves, right? but we are only human… Sometimes letting go is hard even when things have gone sour. And I’m sure that guy is not against guilt trips. If he’s acting up in this way it is only a matter of time before she lets go completely. she wants to, its just not always so black and white even when things seem so clear to everyone else. Maybe this situation with the puppies was the last straw… it may have thrown her over the edge, forced her to really pay attention to everything thats been bothering her, affecting her, attacking her… for some ppl, disappearing and taking our space is sometimes a way of taking a stand and taking back our hearts, our minds, our time, even if from those that never crossed that line to begin with, just to regenerate, organize our feelings or even delve into them deeper…

]]> By: TCA http://sasstrology.com/2009/04/cosmic-dating-with-pensivegemini-the-other-woman.html/comment-page-1#comment-27531 TCA Thu, 30 Apr 2009 03:54:10 +0000 http://sasstrology.com/?p=5247#comment-27531 AquaLover, She answers sometimes and ignores other times. Some of the initial responses I know where all about just getting some satisfaction out if being mean to him and messing with him. However it just doesn't stop as he doesn't get it. Its just gotten a bit rediculous in my opinion I wouldn't have put up with it this long. I can see other situations that could get him to stop but I think they are unlikely with him putting his attentions in the current direction. Like meeting someone else to bug. Actually all it takes for harassment charges is call, text, or email logs and for the person to tell them to stop calling, texting, or emailing. Most states have a standard they hold for how many unwanted communications constitutes harassment though after the request for the stop is made. The does she respect herself is a good question. I think she must or she wouldn't have taken some of the relationship issues so personally. However its not a question that I've asked so I really wouldn't know for a fact. AquaLover,
She answers sometimes and ignores other times. Some of the initial responses I know where all about just getting some satisfaction out if being mean to him and messing with him. However it just doesn’t stop as he doesn’t get it. Its just gotten a bit rediculous in my opinion I wouldn’t have put up with it this long.

I can see other situations that could get him to stop but I think they are unlikely with him putting his attentions in the current direction. Like meeting someone else to bug.

Actually all it takes for harassment charges is call, text, or email logs and for the person to tell them to stop calling, texting, or emailing. Most states have a standard they hold for how many unwanted communications constitutes harassment though after the request for the stop is made.

The does she respect herself is a good question. I think she must or she wouldn’t have taken some of the relationship issues so personally. However its not a question that I’ve asked so I really wouldn’t know for a fact.

]]> By: AquaLover http://sasstrology.com/2009/04/cosmic-dating-with-pensivegemini-the-other-woman.html/comment-page-1#comment-27453 AquaLover Wed, 29 Apr 2009 23:50:03 +0000 http://sasstrology.com/?p=5247#comment-27453 Chica, I stopped trying because that "relationship" was not healthy for me. I felt confused and empty. His passive aggressive behavior left me feeling like something was wrong with me, so I decided to take control of my emotions and stopped trying to figure him out. In many ways, I feel that he has control issues and if he can't control his emotions with a certain person than he just isolates them from his circle. Its a painful thing to have someone do to you. Why me? I asked myself that question over and over. I really don't know the answer to that question, but I decided that its his loss, not mine. The only reason I decided to discuss it, is just in case someone is experiencing the same thing and are feeling those confusing emotions. You are not alone, it happens. Chica, I stopped trying because that “relationship” was not healthy for me. I felt confused and empty. His passive aggressive behavior left me feeling like something was wrong with me, so I decided to take control of my emotions and stopped trying to figure him out. In many ways, I feel that he has control issues and if he can’t control his emotions with a certain person than he just isolates them from his circle. Its a painful thing to have someone do to you. Why me? I asked myself that question over and over. I really don’t know the answer to that question, but I decided that its his loss, not mine. The only reason I decided to discuss it, is just in case someone is experiencing the same thing and are feeling those confusing emotions. You are not alone, it happens.

]]> By: AquaLover http://sasstrology.com/2009/04/cosmic-dating-with-pensivegemini-the-other-woman.html/comment-page-1#comment-27451 AquaLover Wed, 29 Apr 2009 23:39:41 +0000 http://sasstrology.com/?p=5247#comment-27451 TCA, I agree with you, he won't stop unless she puts a stop to giving him the feedback he is looking for. Does she answer his calls? If I were in her shoes, I would let all his calls go to voice mail, he might hang up, but after a few tries he will get pissed off enough to leave a nasty message. Play a couple of those delightful messages to a cop and he will soon get a visit from them. But that's me. If she is picking up the calls, she is just encouraging him to call, he is looking for any kind of feedback, negative or positive he doesn't care. If she is really serious about moving on, she will not answer. BTW, she already knows he has no respect for her, the question is, does she respect herself? TCA, I agree with you, he won’t stop unless she puts a stop to giving him the feedback he is looking for. Does she answer his calls? If I were in her shoes, I would let all his calls go to voice mail, he might hang up, but after a few tries he will get pissed off enough to leave a nasty message. Play a couple of those delightful messages to a cop and he will soon get a visit from them. But that’s me. If she is picking up the calls, she is just encouraging him to call, he is looking for any kind of feedback, negative or positive he doesn’t care. If she is really serious about moving on, she will not answer. BTW, she already knows he has no respect for her, the question is, does she respect herself?

]]> By: ChiCa http://sasstrology.com/2009/04/cosmic-dating-with-pensivegemini-the-other-woman.html/comment-page-1#comment-27449 ChiCa Wed, 29 Apr 2009 23:32:49 +0000 http://sasstrology.com/?p=5247#comment-27449 Oh Ok I see AquaLover. Y did u stop trying? Maybe he didnt want to hear u say that again because he felt a certain way. Oh Ok I see AquaLover. Y did u stop trying? Maybe he didnt want to hear u say that again because he felt a certain way.

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