Cosmic Dating with PensiveGemini: Oops, I did it again
April 15, 2009 by Pensive Gemini
“Cosmic Dating with PensiveGemini” relates the true-life chronicles of a twenty-something Brooklynite with a Gemini Sun, Aquarius Moon and Cancer Rising. Last week, she laid low, thinking about Aqua Stellium and a Taurus at work. (If you’re new to her blog, start at the beginning.)
Venus retrograded back into Pisces over the weekend, and thank goodness for that — I needed a break from Venus in Aries! With transiting Uranus in Pisces getting closer and closer to squaring my Sun and Venus — creating a bit of chaos in all the little details of my life — I was a bit shook up last week when I received a call from Mr. Aquarius. Consequently, I picked up the phone.
“Wow, I was getting ready to leave you a really long message. I’m really surprised you picked up!” he said. And relieved to be talking to someone who I could find comfort with, I told him everything that was going wrong in my life. How I lost my ID, my credit cards, my cash, my metro card and how I was taking coins from my piggy bank to find my way to work. How I had attempted to file my taxes online and it came back in error saying that my birth date was incorrect, even though it is the same date I’ve been using since I was capable of writing it down. How I almost made a $100,000 mistake at work, and how it was all consuming me, leaving me little mental space to do my writing. Of course he made his little jokes, “You shouldn’t have left me!” he said. “You are falling apart without me!” All I could do was chuckle. Maybe he was right, my broken little Cancer Rising thought. I need a rescue!
That night with the Full Moon in Libra in his 7th house of partnerships, he called and invited me to meet him for drinks at a lounge. The Moon was squaring my Ascendant from my 4th house, and I honestly preferred to stay home and dwell. He called back and insisted, and since I had been feeling particularly beaten up, I figured a drink and some company was probably what I needed. I joined him for drinks, conversation and dinner. It was a good night. He had reached out to me just when I was in need for some pick me up.
The Other Woman
The Moon in Scorpio on Saturday, trining his Venus and my Ascendant, facilitated more interaction. He said his friend, who we will call Janice, had a church performance he was going to attend, and after that we could meet up. This is the first time I will speak of Janice. I’ve known of this friend Janice since I first met him. Aquarians are extremely loyal and very protective of their friends, so I am aware that someone like Janice is going to mean a lot to him. With an Aquarius Moon, I’ve learned to listen to people without judgment (sometimes without speaking). People usually react to this by revealing a lot about themselves, as they feel at ease. I’ve always kept this Janice friend in the back of my mind, but never reacted jealously. I wanted to know as much as I could before I came to any conclusions. I remember him mentioning in January, when we first started dating, “Yeah, I just came back from surprising my friend Janice at her school [she’s a teacher] … paid her a visit.” Note to self. Once, he received a text in the middle of one of our dates and he told me Janice had texted, telling him that she had received a job offer that would consume her time completely, and wanted his opinion on whether she should take it. This was during the time when I would text him without a reply ’til the next day. Mental note. His birthday, he spent with Janice. Mental note. He also recently told me that he and a coworker would soon be visiting her school to do a presentation for her students — he’s a firefighter. Mental note. On Saturday, he told me he’s going to her performance. Later that night, we started talking about astrology and he told me that Janice is a Sag, then casually added he’d always thought a Sag would be a good match for him. Then this morning he texted me her stats and asked if I could look up her chart. For curiosity’s sake, she’s a Sag with a Leo Moon and Rising, with several Earth placements. Granted, he said they grew up together, known each other for 15 years, yada yada. Friends are important; no one knows this more than I. But I think there’s something more there. If I needed a reminder as to why things couldn’t work out between he and I, that’s it.
Coming Up…
Next week, PensiveGemini learns something surprising about Mr. Aquarius…
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Janice, so my feeling that he was seeing someone or was distracted by something has a name. I agree with you, there is def more than a friend thing going on. Lets analyze aqua style, 1, they are old friends (TCA pointed out, aquas fall for ppl they know already as friends). 2, He mentions her a lot, I know who my aqua pals are hot for, just by listening to who keeps coming up in the conversation in an everyday normal way “oh so so, asked me to help with something” and so on. 3, He surprised her at her school (had to mention she is smart, aquas love smart women) and he used the word surprise (to me that translates to “impress”). I think she is not always available to him and this hombre needs the attention when he wants it. Hmmmmmm, my question is, are you gonna see him again? What say you…
Yes, you did say that, didn’t you!
Sigh, it sucks being someone’s second choice… not that he was my first, but at least I tried to make it work at some point and i didn’t rub his face all over it… since I know I don’t want anything serious with him, I guess if the opportunity arises, and I’m bored, I may see him again. Things are clear to me now and while I don’t appreciate being Number 2, to be fair, he’s not my number one either. It’s just interesting to me that this all became clear as Uranus squared closer and closer to my venus in my 12th house of secrets.
Don’t say second choice, say other choice. People like to have options and until they cross the line of commitment, all is fair. I’m a firm believer that no one person can fulfill all your needs, but when you commit to someone, you settle for just enough. I’m glad that you are seeing Mr. Aqua with open eyes and can make educated decisions on how you want to interact with him, he is your other choice as well. I understand the feeling you had when you went out with him. I used to feel like that when AquaBlue would disappear, I just wanted to be with someone that wanted to be near me and listen. I let some ppl in close to me as a result and got burned, so please be vigilant okay.
“It’s just interesting to me that this all became clear as Uranus squared closer and closer to my venus in my 12th house of secrets.” okay, I want to understand this someday, lol.
AquaL-
“Don’t say second choice, say other choice. People like to have options and until they cross the line of commitment, all is fair. ”
Thanks for saying that. It’s true. I try to be as realistic as possible and sometimes that takes me over the edge of pessimism which are two completely different things. Over lunch I was thinking to myself that maybe I should take this opportunity to be open with him. I would like to stay friends and I think someone like him could appreciate that. Maybe that way I can still “learn” from him and received positive energy from our interactions instead of not really enjoying ourselves fully due to secrecy.
“I used to feel like that when AquaBlue would disappear, I just wanted to be with someone that wanted to be near me and listen. I let some ppl in close to me as a result and got burned, so please be vigilant okay.”
Do you mind sharing??
OH, and the entire squaring my venus thing… its what I’ve been freaking out about all last month… Uranus is in Pisces and now its in 25 degrees, squaring my natal sun and venus in gemini exactly at 25 degrees… when something is squaring (against) something else, its usually really challenging… and since this is happening in my 12th house of secrets, it usually means someone is hiding something and when the planets square at the exact degree- it might bring it to a head… now I’m going to wait and see if anything gets worse…
Nope, I don’t mind. When you are feeling lonely and down because a lot of negative things are happening you are vulnerable. There was a Pisces that always showered me with attention, but I was so enamored with AquaBlue that I barely paid attention. During one of AquaBlue’s disappearing acts I let the Pisces get closer to me because I was lonely and was feeling kind of empty. BIG mistake. He turned out to be a psycho, omg can you say stalker (he was sooooooo deep, I couldn’t breathe, he smothered me, calls, texts, IM and email all day, every day. I still feel bad, he was totally wrong for me in every way, had I not felt so vulnerable, I would have never gone out with him. That was when I started thinking about what I was doing to myself and why. You see, dealing with AquaBlue was an experience that I am grateful for, it taught me lessons that I value, but during those 8 months, I was lost. I put him first, his needs, his boundaries because I felt that he needed the support, the unconditional love that I knew I could give him, but I forgot to love myself 2. Lesson learned….
Hmm, Pensive… I’ll try and offer my Gemini Sun (options), Cap Moon (boundaries), Sag rising (adventure) take…. Seems like being the ‘other choice’ is less the issue than having it rubbed in your face constantly. He’s playing games. My brother is an Aquarius and yes, while he has close friends, it’s the manner in which you treat them (rather than use them) that makes the difference. Seems like he’s sending you a signal that he has a back up. I won’t be surprised if he does the same to Janice or anyone else.
But as AL say, until the commitment line is crossed, all’s fair. Just decide if you want to play. Or invest your energy elsewhere.
Good luck.
Am I recalling correctly, or did you end up not actually liking Mr. Aquarius all that much? It always kind of hurts your pride when you’re seemingly passed over for someone else, but then you have to remind yourself, “Wait, he sucks- what am I so worried about?” Janice is actually a good thing in disguise. You have too much else going on, it sounds like, to be complicated by the most counter-intuitive Aquarius in the world. (And besides, if her real name is actually as dowdy as Janice- ew, really? Janice?)
Pardon me pointing this out.. but aren’t you playing games and hiding things yourself miss pensive Gemini? And you’re starting to feel like breaking down that wall of illusion might be a good idea… hmmmmmmmm.
Maybe mr. wacky and unpredictable Aqua man has been thrown your way to stir up your life and force you to break down your self-protecting (and also defeating) barriers.
Lucy G–SheStings—
I liked Mr. Aquarius a lot at first… I really thought I could have something serious with him… he was career oriented, had his life together, seemed fun, and I just love Aqua’s… then he started to throw me off… he didn’t call, but would as ME to call… then I call and no answer… no call back until the next day… that is when I became the wiser and started to date the Capricorn… I figured, no harm, we’re just dating and we’re both entitled to date other people… but Mr. Aquarius was the one I could really see myself with in the long term out of the two… I dont knock him for potentially dating Janice (haha, her real name if very close to that wack name, I just had to tone her down, know what I mean? lol) I let him go because we weren’t going anywhere and because HIS games were influencing me to play games of my own just for datings sake and lets be real, to protect myself… it became chaotic for me mentally… I am no longer seeing the Capricorn (I hadn’t confirmed that- that just kinda slipped away- he lives too far, etc) and while I have seen Mr. Aquarius and will probably see him again, I’ve already decided to speak up the next time I see him and tell him it’d be better for us to just be more clear about whats going on in our lives and stay as friends…
Lucy G- “You have too much else going on, it sounds like, to be complicated by the most counter-intuitive Aquarius in the world.” Yea, I feel like he just doesn’t get it, or like AquaL said before, he’s distracted! and now I know what he’s distracted by…
SheStings– “Maybe mr. wacky and unpredictable Aqua man has been thrown your way to stir up your life and force you to break down your self-protecting (and also defeating) barriers.” I don’t know if Mr. Aquarius is that important… but I have definitely noticed that I do put up my walls if I even feel the slightest hint of secrecy or doubt… and that I am not that good at speaking up when something hurts me… I try to dodge my feelings altogether all the time… Saturn is retrograding my third house right now so I’m working on how I communicate… and that is one thing Mr. Aquarius has been good for– he’s really brought out all those uncomfortable feelings that I’ve been forced to deal with head on… just me saying that I’m goin to talk to him about being clear and staying friends is a HUGE step for me… I usually prefer to just walk away without a word… its complicated…
Hitch–
“My brother is an Aquarius and yes, while he has close friends, it’s the manner in which you treat them (rather than use them) that makes the difference. Seems like he’s sending you a signal that he has a back up.”
Hmmm… so you think its on purpose that he’s mentioning “Janice”?? Funny because I thought he was doin in unconsciously which made it more sincere in that he had feelings for someone else… see my take on it is that they are friends but that he has a crush on her, but that she’s not interested in him in that way so they’re just friends… and since they are just friends, he thinks its harmless to talk about her, however, he talks about her way too much for it to not have something else attached to it… what do you think?
No more Cappie? What happened? Guess who came out of hibernation to ask a ton of questions…lol..are u sure you just want to be friends with Mr. Aqua? I think not…
LOL Aqua L– why you blowing up my spot with your Cancerish powers! lol
I can’t make up my mind… all I want is peace!!! lol
Hehehehehe..you Gems and ur duality, lol, ahhh the spice of life, love, love it
Pensive, no, I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose. But I think constantly how close you are to another woman to the woman you are purportedly pursuing is sending a signal — which could be anything from trying to make you jealous (which is sad) or trying to let you know he has other options (which is also sad). It’s not just the talking about her? It’s the springing the surprise visit on her and so on? She may not be ‘interested’ but if she’s a double Leo, I reckon she enjoys the attention.
I dunno. Clearly I don’t know any of you personally! And am only responding to the story you tell above as you tell it.
GUESS WHO’S BACK IN THE M*FIN HOUSE *singing voice* LOL (Pardon My French)
IM BACK LADIES!!!
I have been followin u PENSIVE…I must say ur going thru a WHOLE LOT!!!
Hitchhiker-
Out of all the signs y u think its a LEO getting the attention?
Well, i do agree with Hitch that most Leo’s enjoy attention… Leo’s are always in touch with their inner child and just like a chiled, they glow under the attention of others… there are always exceptions… I’ve met really shy Leo’s that stay away from too much attention (those usually have a lot of virgo or Pisces for example) but otherwise, their planet is represented by the sun, and like the sun, everything revolves around Leo…
I feel bad because I know it takes a lot of effort to understand my motivations especially under clear circumstances as this Mr. Aquarius and his “Janice”– and I’m always doing the back and forth dance of the Gemini with the “get all the facts first, react later” of an Aqua and then my Cancer who just wants to love and keep everything… I really do appreciate you girls having my back, tho, thats why I ask for the opinions… it helps me sort things out… *GRIN*
ChiCAaaa lol WELCOME BACK!!
What can I say *shrug* I’m working with what I got… lol… maybe when you know where your heart is (with who it is) everything else just doesn’t affect you… and while I want to know whats up with Mr. Aquarius, for curiousities sake, it almost doesn’t really matter, you know?
PG – “He had reached out to me just when I was in need for some pick me up.”
That really is sometimes the best feeling in the world…
I can’t say I’m finding a lot to comment on right now though I did see something that might be clarified a little better. As far as an Aqua mentioning someone a lot goes it doesn’t necessarily mean they are “hot” for them… Aqua’s generally like to share what is on their mind and are fairly open as far as conversations they’ve had and other happenings in their world and that includes the people that those conversations and events revolve around. The more they talk about a person normally means the more time they’ve spent talking to, thinking about, or doing stuff with that person. So think of it more as an Aqua indicator of pursued basic interest (be it romantic or platonic in nature). As I’ve said before though; the line between the two romantic and platonic can be slightly blurry at best so it’s not always the best indicator or measure for romantic intent. A better measure of romantic intent would be via how many sweet and time taxing or thought taxing things they do for those same people however that doesn’t always hold true as a 100% either.
News from my ongoing drama: I got a surprise call from the new girl and her sister late Wednesday night and we got to hang out for the first time since all the drama happened. It felt kind of clandestine as I headed out to meet up with them but really nice at the same time. It really instantaneously renewed my faith as to her intentions in remaining friends. I didn’t push to find out what was going on at the time and as it was more then I had expected to get as far as hearing from her at this point and just wanted to enjoy it. And it turned out to be a really nice night. Then Thursday I unexpectedly got to see her again for a short bit and found out they broke up again. I had to ask curiosity got me after she started a sentence with, “When I was with”. However I been at this point a few times already with the two of them so I’m still not sure if it’s the end or just another temporary thing. For the moment though I seem to have my friend back and I’m just starting to hear about the actual depths of crazy guy’s jealousy of me. It should make for an interesting next couple of months.
Yes, with Aqua you almost can’t be sure of anything… even me with my Aqua moon I’ve stopped and caught myself and thought “wow, no wonder I confuse people, anyone would think im not interested at all…” and things of the like… I guess time is the only true indicator of whether or not something will be around or not… and then of course we all get to decide what we are comfortable with, Aqua or no Aqua placement…
It’s nice to hear she’s come around again now that she’s single… and that she managed to throw in there that she wasn’t with whats his face, which explains why she felt she had more freedom to hang out with you again, and how you could really have your friend back… is she an Aquarius, too? I dont think you mentioned her sign, just the other two girls from your past… I’m really curious as to why she keeps going back to that guy… have they been together for so long or something? Did they live together? is he her baby daddy? LOL Is she in love with him but his Jealousy just wont leave her be?
PG – “I guess time is the only true indicator of whether or not something will be around or not… and then of course we all get to decide what we are comfortable with, Aqua or no Aqua placement…”
Grin it’s hard to say that’s true because many bad relations last just as long as good ones. I think what it hinges on is remaining true to your own vested personal interests and recognizing when and if a relationship prompts you to step outside of your comfort zone in a good or bad way. In that if both people in the relationship are challenged more in good ways rather than bad then those two people can grow together rather than apart. As seldom does anything stay unchanging and without movement in some direction without sooner or later becoming stagnant.
PG – “It’s nice to hear she’s come around again now that she’s single… and that she managed to throw in there that she wasn’t with “crazy guy”, which explains why she felt she had more freedom to hang out with you again, and how you could really have your friend back…”
She’s hard to read sometimes as she doesn’t say what’s on her mind unless it’s something that would really bother her (Venus in Virgo trait). She does however subtly drops, enough clues to prompt the right questions though for the most part. I hope it lasts this time because it was rough seeing her go through the break up the time before last so to see her potentially go back again would just be sad. Especially with how nice, honest, and well intentioned she’s been to me I know she disserves better then what she was getting and hope that she knows that too. The only thing that worries me now is I know it’s not fully done with yet though as he still has some of her stuff too, that I know she’ll want back sooner or later. So still a little like standing on unsettled ground. I think though that it’s still a very big and a positive step for her and that maybe she’s starting to really pull off those rose colored glasses she seems to have had on. And while our friendship still isn’t back to the way it was I trust in her that when she’s ready to pick it back up as it was that she will. And I think a lot if it right now comes out of the fact that he is that jealous and she doesn’t want to chance provoking him further nor risk getting me hurt. And on top of that, that she needs some time to clear her head too.
PG – “is she an Aquarius, too? I don’t think you mentioned her sign, just the other two girls from your past…”
She’s actually a Libra I mentioned it in one of the replies to the last blog if I remember correctly. It could explain some of the seeming indecision over everything.
PG – “I’m really curious as to why she keeps going back to that guy…”
So am I but we haven’t really spoken about it enough for me to really come to any satisfying understanding though. I know I speculated a bit on it being that she didn’t want to be alone but she wasn’t alone the last time and she had plenty of outside support around for her. So I know that alone couldn’t be the reason. I thought perhaps familiarity and comfort with the past might be a big reason. I even ran it through my head that maybe he was just good in bed or had a huge cock but I don’t think that could be the case since he probably would be so insecure if he was and did. I know good sex always makes it harder to walk away haha… So ya I’ve thought all over the place and a few places I didn’t really want to go and I still don’t have a clue…The only thing that really lingers in my mind is maybe the potential allure of trying to reforming a bad guy.
PG – “have they been together for so long or something?”
Not much more than a year plus maybe a few months off and on the whole time if I remember correctly. Their relationship though wasn’t normally a topic we talked about though. We always had plenty of other mutually satisfying stuff to talk about so he hardly ever came up unless she was venting. And from the venting I could gather enough of a sense of direction to where things were heading.
PG – “Did they live together? Is he her baby daddy?”
Hehe you really are curious… nope and nope…
PG – “LOL Is she in love with him but his Jealousy just won’t leave her be?”
I know from how angry she got before the big drama explosion happened that she had to have strong feelings of some sort. If it was love or just the hope for love I’m not sure both can be equally disappointing and potentially explosive though when not working out. And I’m sure his jealousy was a very destructive influence on the relationship however it was by far not the only problem nor the largest of them.
TCA-
Whats ur sign? I forgot.
Chica– if I remember correctly… he is Aquarius sun and rising with a Virgo moon! interestin, huh?!!
Chica – “Whats ur sign? I forgot.”
Double Aqua stellium in first house Mars/Sun/Merc 1st house. Hehe I got a lot of Aqua in me… Venus in cap, moon conj Saturn in Virgo sex Uranus in scorp, Jupiter in Leo, Juno in Pisces.. It’s an odd combination but I make it work sometimes; somehow… well at least when Venus and the moon keep me grounded. I also am a water singleton with Uranus in the 9th house Scorpio squared the stellium. More then you probably wanted to know but oh well..
Oh ya and merc and mars are both considered combust as well as conj with the Sun… And AC is conj mars as well… And the dragons head sits between moon and saturn in Virgo conj to both. Anyway thats the basic run down…
Pensive- He has a very interesting COMBO WOW!!
TCA- I’m a Leo…I read ur explanation saw that u have a jupiter in “Leo” Very interesting as well but ur explanation of it all I didnt get! Lol
ChiCa – “I’m a Leo…I read ur explanation saw that u have a jupiter in “Leo” Very interesting as well but ur explanation of it all I didnt get! Lol”
If you meant the what’s your sign explanation its probably because I didn’t explain anything just listed the planets and a handful of their aspects. And made a few personal cracks at myself just for the fun of it. If you want to be more detailed in what you don’t get I’ll try to explain it or point you to info that can.
Looks like I forgot poor little Pluto in Libra and Neptune in sag as well.
Any news from your Aqua man? “Mine” came back from a trip and texted me, and than again week later, but before he left we parted ways
I am confused as what is this all about? I am Gemini, Scorpio rising and he is Aquarius with Venus and Mars in Pisces. Is he in or out? He said he started falling in love so he backed off and than he wants to be friends ????? WTH??? I assumed no more of him, but I can’t stop thinking of him… My scorpio obsessing…
I enjoy your posts. Keep it coming…
Hello fellow GEMINI!!! What’s your moon?? They say Scorpio risings have an intense stare/gaze, part of that passionate water way… how do you feel about that?
You know how they say that Virgos say one thing but mean another? Well, i think Aqua’s “feel” one way and do another– at least when they actually become aware of how they feel… If he’s reaching out to you, thats awesome… he’s thinking about you AND acting on it… as long as you weed out the player Aqua’s from the confused Aqua’s, you’ll be fine… and if he has Pisces placements, I would presume that would inlcine him to share a little bit more of himself then those with several Aqua placements… how long ago did you break up??
Pensive,
U are on the money…Feel one way and do another… WOW. So Dumb
Sun, Moon and Mercury in Gemini, but Scorpio ascendent definitely gives depth to my emotions, even more, since I turned 30
Scared my Gemini, felt like I have to hide and play “cool”.
Aqua man is the first man that has kept my attention for this long… Gives me that look, and sends shivers down my spine
Have you felt connection where you can feel their feelings or know what they are thinking?
It has been two months since we “broke up”, end of February, but I never got that, ok we are done, time to move on, and now he is back????
What do you mean player Aqua’s from confused Aqua’s?
crazyforaqua – I believe PG means separate out the ones that are intent to play the field from the ones that have good intentions but just don’t trust in their emotional judgement yet (ie. emotionally confused and potentially conflicted).
Yes! That’s exactly what I meant, haha!
Those Aqua’s that “don’t trust their emotional judgement yet” (like TCA said) will always find a way to be a good friend to you and don’t need to be romantically involved with you to CARE about you (care about what you have to say, what you think, how something stimulates you, whats been going on in your life, etc) even if they don’t speak to you often, there will be something there. Those that play the field, well, the detachment becomes less about emotional space and more about lack of connection because you are just not on their mind that much (thats’ my opinion)—