Cosmic Dating with PensiveGemini: Venus retro has its way
March 18, 2009 by Pensive Gemini
“Cosmic Dating with PensiveGemini” relates the true-life chronicles of a twenty-something Brooklynite with a Gemini Sun, Aquarius Moon and Cancer Rising . Last week, she wrote about feeling neglected by an Aquarius. (If you’re new to her blog, start at the beginning.)
With Venus in Aries retrograding, like clockwork I have been reexamining my habits and expectations in my relationships. Because of all the Air in my chart, I tend to be a “go with the flow” kind of person with others, typically calm and patient, occasionally interrupted by the needs of my Cancer rising. However, I am not a kid anymore, and I now know what I want and what I need — and I’ve learned that I have to speak up much more and ask for what I want. Mars, Jupiter and Neptune are transiting my 8th house of sex and transformation, and it is no surprise that intimacy and relationships consume my mind every day. I don’t want to make the wrong choices. I want to grow, but change should be progressive.
Mr. Aqua has been demanding more of my time and trust. Although he is as yet unwilling to build that trust, he expects me to give it. I try not to be negative or think the worst, but at the very least it’s not sitting well with my Cancer intuition — and that’s one thing I’ve learned to trust over the years. For me, whenever things are going wrong in one relationship, I think back to when they felt right. For the past two weeks, I have been thinking about a man with a stellium in Aquarius, someone I had a distinctive, unconventional and friendly romance with while Pluto in Sagittarius was transiting my 5th house of creativity and pleasure. He left the most positive impression on me and my creative future. His Moon is in Aries conjunct Venus retrograde, and while I had decided to let him go and hadn’t spoken to him in three months, I kept aching to contact him. I wanted to feel the way that I felt when I spoke to him about my plans, about the book I last read, about writing — about passion.
I was out with a girlfriend, and after a glass of wine (or two) I messaged Aqua Stellium. To my surprise, he quickly messaged back … and then a call was in order. An hour later, he showed up to keep my friend and I company. I couldn’t believe how random it was. I couldn’t believe my friend was meeting the guy I had spent almost two years gushing about! We had drinks, enjoyed the band and conversation, and even hopped over to another bar with a live salsa band playing. Once my friend decided to go home, he and I stayed behind to talk. We didn’t address anything regarding how long it had been since we last spoke — just caught up and enjoyed each other’s company. Talking to him took me to a piece of my recent past that I had been neglecting since the year started. I figured out what had been bothering me. I wasn’t being inspired by my relationships and interactions, and with my Moon in my 7th house of partnerships, I couldn’t survive without that nourishment.
I started thinking about who I was neglecting and why. Capricorn didn’t deserve my negligence, and Mr. Aquarius didn’t deserve my attention. I started my Saturday watching a PBS Special “Broadway: The Golden Era,” and knew that it was something I could only share with my Capricorn. Between seeing Aqua Stellium and being reminded of what’s important to me right now — my spiritual and creative growth — I decided I needed to be surrounded by people who support and inspire me, not people who stress me out. I spent the rest of my Saturday with Capricorn, and without a complaint and only a smile on his face, we spent the day watching movies and comedy shows. There was no conflict, just enjoyment. My 12th house Sun and Venus felt stimulated simply by the positive energy.
As of right now, I told Mr. Aquarius I need my space. He’s messaging me and calling, but I have work to do. I can’t give him the attention he needs right now. I need to concentrate on me again.
Coming Up…
Next week, PensiveGemini responds to Mr. Aquarius’ texts and wonders why….
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You go girl! Take care of you. You would think that Mr. Aqua would understand about you needing space, but he seems adamant on communicating, hmmmmm, very interesting…on a side note, Im impressed with your knowledge of astrology, you inspire me to learn more, thanks.
‘I decided I needed to be surrounded by people who support and inspire me, not people who stress me out.’
Hear, hear!!
wow…deep. Seems like you’ve really come to terms with the real inner you. Very brave of you to put distance between you and Aqua, and it takes even more courage to focus on yourself. We get so caught a lot of the time and forget that true love begins within ourselves. It’s like that saying, right?…You have to learn how to love yourself, before you love anyone else. First love, should always be self love and your actions have demonstated that you are learning this.
I know it’s very hard, because it’s so easy to go back to fun and distraction from reality, but that only lasts for so long and we usually end up back at square one. I’m proud of you pensive. I’ve been following your writing on here, and I must say, the growth is definitely noticeable
Stay strong and beautiful…
THANK YOU SO MUCH, LADIES!!!
The thing with me is that while my Gemini side can’t make up her mind, my Aqua moon stands back until all the information is in and the research (soul searching) is done, while my Cancer rising tries to feeeeeel things out… Well after that night with Aqua Stellium, things became CLEAR. And with the support of the moon in Sag (conjunct my Uranus in the 5th house of creativity) and venus in Aries, I knew that what had been lacking was creative (mental) stimuli…
Now, I have to say, Mr. Aqua has been making it REALLY HARD… He’s messaged and called a couple times this week… and today he texts saying
“I mus tell you i didn’t think I was going to miss you as much as I am. You said you needed your space but I fear it means you are gone…”
WHAT?! ugh, c’mon man! And then I think… have I missed him? And I have to say that I’ve been speaking to the Cap more… and concentrating on ME more… I started the Gym again, I picked up a couple books yesterday from the list I generated for myself, I’m making more plans with my family… but I hadn’t thought of him… *sigh* thats crazy… even though I felt bad I told him that
“I hate to treat you this way [not calling, wanting my space] but I also know that it is best for me to move forward and enjoy each other as friends only…”
and he writes “I liked you more than you think… I was just safely pacing us…”
AHA! There’s the Aqua and there’s the consciousness! He knew what he was doing and to be honest, if I liked him more (I hate to put it that way) I know I would have run right back to him… but I have to say, it helps me understand Aqua’s a bit more… just safely pacing us? hmm, food for thought, ladies, food for thought!
“safely pacing”?? wow if that doesnt scream that he felt he had all of the control, then I dont kno what does! How dare he assume it was up to him solely to determine the pace of the relationship…were you not worth the risk of finding out how it would be to devote more to you? What was he afraid of? Im not a fan of the aqua lol
I think in Aqua terms when he said he was slowly pacing us it was that he just wanted to take it slow for the benefit of the relationship… I think for an Aqua that is actually a positive satement and it helps me to even understand other Aquas from my life… my problem was not the pace so much, my problem became the control… it lost its natural touch, its rush when I felt him going back and forth on things… I think an Aquarius will always attempt to control the pace, even I (with my Aqua moon) am guilty of doing that (especially when i like someone) because I know that if it goes too fast, i’ll freak out and leave and if i like the person, i dont want to leave, i dont want to freak out… but I am always careful not to control too much so as to lose the rush of it all… but like you said, he had much of the control and THAT was the biggest problem and THAT is what he needed to achnowledge, you know?
I have a lot of friends who are Aquarians, and I seriously feel that the whole cool needing space thing is a total façade. They’re actually clingier than anyone, but they’re afraid of the emotional work that entails, so they try to “safely pace” or play the games Mr. Aqua was playing to appear more in control than they really are. Their independence and space is paramount, but God forbid YOU have any. It’s kind of ridiculous. And for someone like you, who is able to be objective and aware of her emotions but isn’t afraid of actually DEALING with them, that’s just not a healthy energy. You definitely made the right decision.
‘I was just safely pacing us…’
i.e. it’s all about me and my terms, and my own fears.
I’m sick of it.
What happened to equal negotiation?
Lucy– I completely agree, they are afraid of the work, the responsibility of a relationship, the emotionaly consistency… and if thats the way you are, the least you could do is offer the same freedom and independence that you desire, to your partner, it is the only fair thing to do. Mr. Aqua wanted to have it all, his way, and thats not healthy as you said, and its exhausting.
Hitch– Equal negotiation, exactly! This was def a learning experience… what an Aqua… I just hope it dies out already… no more messages… grrr
Oh those mixed up aqua men…lol…just as I expected, when u draw the line in the sand, they will cross it everytime. “Pacing us” indeed, yeah right, more like vulcan mind tricks.. Passive aggressive bull, why do they do it? Plain old fear, they are sooooo scared of feeling anything that they build this wall around themselves and then act hurt and surprised when u get tired of trying to climb over. You will need the patience of Job to deal with one in any serious manner. But as my nickname reads, I love them. Call me crazy (yes you could say I am at times), but I love the challenge, but I have been around the block and then some, you are a young woman and I am SO PROUD of the way you handled that Aqua, but brace yourself, it aint over yet. He will go into his cave and think of ways to get your attention, remember they are masters at studying ppl and I am sure he has some tricks left..stay strong or not, life is short, enjoy it all…much love…
Yes you go- Gemini Man just emailed me that he got back together with his ex- fiancee AFTER I had already booked the trip to come out to see him!! ahole ahole I hate Venus retrograde.
Hey Guys!
I been trying to catch up I have been gone for a bit!! Dang..so much has went on huh? I will comment soon!
*ChiCa*
AquaL– You called it! Just when I thought I could breathe, he calls and texts last night… he just wants to talk, he just wants to see me, etc etc… I don’t get it, man, I just don’t get it… I wish Aqua Stellium did that… but he’s either one of the mature Aqua’s or doesn’t care much *sigh* Now if you want to talk about weak knews, its Aqua Stellium that makes them melt… *double sigh*
Honey B– Dang, sorry to here, that’s not cool at all… couldn’t he have told you sooner… wow, interesting venus retrograde…
ChiCa! Where have you been?! :O)
Oh, and I meant “weak knees” not week knews lol
I know just what you mean, my aqua is like your double sigh aqua (I must sigh 3 times, I miss him so). They won’t call, but if you call them they are there for you and will drop everything to see you and hang with you. Maturity? Perhaps, but I think they are more rigid and self-controlled. The day I broke up with him, he surprised me by yelling that he needed me and to please, please stay in touch. Then he dropped of the face of the earth, no texting, no email, no calls, no nothing. When I finally broke down and decided enough was enough and I just had to know how he was and called him, do you know what he said? “I was waiting for you to call me, because you needed some space” How did he know I would call? Easy, no texts and phone calls, he knows I care about him and he was waiting to see how long it would take for me to give in. Just like your Aqua Stell, he opened my mind and I have learned so much from him and because of him. These types of Aquas are thinkers to the 10th power, very few ppl get close, we are lucky to have penetrated that veil and it feels awesome, thats why we still sigh when we think about them, if only things could be different {{{hugs}}}} Sigh..
On a dif note, so he DID huh, lol. Poor guy, understimated your strength. This is a great opportunity for you (if you choose), to educate him. One thing you said brings it all together, “my problem was not the pace so much, my problem became the control… it lost its natural touch, its rush” I agree with you wholeheartedly, going with the flow of things is the way to go, if its rapid, why stop it? Some things are meant to be experienced that way, heart pounding, sweaty palms, butterflies in your stomach. The outcome might not be what we wanted, but the experience will stay with you forever.
AquaL- you totally get it—”…heart pounding, sweaty palms, butterflies in your stomach. The outcome might not be what we wanted, but the experience will stay with you forever.” *double sigh again* that’s what Aqua Stellium is to me… Maybe you are right when you say they are rigid and self controlled… because when I texted last week, he called and then came down… and the way he held me, oh goodness I swear I couldn’t have written a more intense scene even in a poem, it was story book! And it just made me feel so good… but then reality just makes me question, how could he stand to be away from me if when he’s near me he can’t let me go! And that’s when I feel stupid and think my intuition is all out of wack and maybe he just doesnt care *WAIL* Oh goodness… we were like two penguins nozzled up on a floating piece of ice… !!!!! But its just as you said, it will stay with me forever…
“how could he stand to be away from me if when he’s near me he can’t let me go!” It’s called detachment. He is capable of putting those feelings you so aptly describe in a special place in his mind, he only allows himself to think or feel those thoughts and emotions when the object of his affection is near. When he is away from that object, he puts it all away and its as if you never existed. Cold? yes, sort of. Its a survival mechanism some ppl need in order to function. The emotions are so intense that they can’t stand to feel them all the time. How do I know? I learned how to do it. I was in a very intense marriage for 10 years, I couldn’t breathe when he was not around, I learned to detach myself to survive, so I know the signs. Its learned behavior thats very hard to correct, I can turn it on at will and I’m really trying hard to correct that. I can break off relationships and not feel a thing. I know that I have hurt some ppl like that and maybe its why I keep myself single.
But onward right? Hope the weekend brings us both something good..lol..much love like always…
Pensive Gemini- Yes he soooooo could have. I gave him ample opportunity to tell me not to book- which makes him rude and selfish. watch him try to call me back after Venus goes Direct (april 17th) as I leave for Philly on …you guessed it april 17th- I hope he does ! I wish to teach him a lesson Virgo sun and Libra rising conjunct Pluto style.
Hey Pensive,
I have been away! Good updates u have tho! Glad the Cap got your attention more than the Aqua. Yea Aqua doesnt desree your attention. Kinda selfish that he said “I was pacing us” EXXXCCCCCCCCUUSSSSEEEEEEE ME.. Last time I checked you can only pace yourself so how dare him.
Honey B Hind- Leave that dude alone. Doesnt make sense to teach him a lesson. U are puttin urself in circles and its not worth it for YOU. Homeboy said he got back with his fiance so the relationship should end there
Aqua Lover- Thats great you learned a detachment mechanisim. Please tell me how you learned that. Would be great advice for me. Something cool to tap into. I am an emotional person but not emotional in relationships. Still would be a good thing to know.
Chica..glad to see you back. Its not a skill I am proud of, I learned it the hard way, my marriage was intense, abusive and co-dependant. I was hopelessly in love with a man (Aries sun) who was severely abused as a child and as a result was so damaged. My Cancer sun wanted to heal him and I saw that deep down he had a good heart, but he needed years of intense therapy and he was afraid to face his demons. Imagine loving someone that you know is not good for you, we loved each other very much, but to save myself I had to break his heart and leave him. I NEVER want to experience that again. It took 2 years of therapy to make me strong enough to leave him, but I did it and I dont regret it. Emotional abuse leaves deep, deep scars, even years later I am still trying to heal. I decided to reveal this here, because I don’t know who will read this blog, and if I can inspire someone to reach out and get help or even talk to someone about it, then so be it. Sometimes things happen for a reason and I’m just going with the flow..but if you ever want to talk to me privately about this subject, feel free, I am an open book…
Aqua Lover,
There are a lot of survival techniques I have learned out of the same experience you had; I was married for 3 years and he had severe issues and an extreme obsession with me, I have been severely abused physically and emotionally and the emotional scars are something I still fight to get rid off, although I am afraid they will always be there to remind me of my past. Today I take it as it had to happen for a reason I will, one day, find out and even when I am not proud to have lived that I am proud to say I made it far enough to raise my children and recover the hopes in a better future. Like you I try to share as much as possible of what I have learned out of an abusive relationship because I think there are lot of girls that are today walking on the shoes I happily took off a while ago.
Things with my Aqua man are coming and going, some days are good some others are distant and cold, he surprises me and disappoints me at the same time, but I know that if it is meant to be will be, otherwise I can take it as another learning experience.
There is a sea of man out there, one will appreciate me for who I am.
AquaL and LolaM– Thank you sooo much for sharing that with us… I can imagine how deeply personal it is to have such a story, but it definitely sets a good example and demonstrates the importance of courage and will in removing ourselves, no matter how small, from situations that do not benefit our well being in any fashion… thank you so much…
PenGem, you are very welcome.
LolaM, thanks for sharing that, if you ever want to talk, just reach out, my AIM is aqualover777 anytime okay…
BTW, I’am being pursued by not one but two Scorps!! omg, one is 40 and the other 25, lol…they both are highly sexual and surprisingly sweet..its interesting to see how different their dating styles are, the older one is so nervous and tentative, the younger one is self assureed, romantic and confident. Men never cease to amaze me.
Last night I was doing some research on astrology because I really want to learn how to read a person’s chart. I followed a link posted on sasstrology its great, you can get a free birth chart and analysis, wow it was so eye-opening, check it out, http://astro.cafeastrology.com/
Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend, Im baking cookies (yes its the Cancer Sun at work, lol)
AquaLover! Two Scorpios!! haha you have your hands full! Interesting that the younger one is self assured and the older one is nervous… thats kinda cute tho, the nervousness… do you know their moon signs?
Who were you baking cookies for, hmmm? lol Now YOU are dating TWO at the same time! How fun!
Hands full, OMG that is putting it lightly, I went out with the younger Scorp on Saturday night, he pursued me relentlessly, but with such finesse. We had a great time, hot, hot chemistry. He is very mature and intense, just the right amount of flattery, conversation and gallantry. I’m very impressed. I wish I knew his Moon placement. All I have is his bday (no time and no place of birth), I have to ask next time we talk. The older one sent me a text message Sunday morning, asking how my night went…hmmmm (I didn’t tell him I was going out, lol). To tell u the truth, I think its age that causes the nervousness, I have dated only younger men my whole life (lucky me), but men in their forties are always more nervous with me, can it be a midlife thing? I was baking cookies to relax and focus, I just enjoy cooking and baking and the house smells so nice with cookies baking…yum.
How was ur weekend?
ChiCa : I have left him alone- I’m not contacting him at all. what are you talking about-?????????
HoneyB.Hind
Ok
Oh us Aquarius’s always making a mess of things.. We’re guilty minded love sick fools that rush in too fast often run amok in fundamentally neurotic state of mind. And then often run away when we realize the havoc we caused didn’t have the desired outcome hehe.
Seriously when we realize were doing stuff like Mr Aqua we end up like the man with a stellium in Aquarius. i.e. in a state of overly repentant self control until someone manages to nurtures us out of it and returns us to some sort of oddly balanced state. Rinse and Repeat…
Chances are stellium man really likes you and is worried that he’ll come on too strong and step over that space/contact issue line that we aqua’s develop so easily and blow it all together. And by that is distancing himself via willpower so you can decided how much space is good because he probably doesn’t trust his own judgement on it anymore.
TCA,
What is a stellium? Y is it willpower to stay away? Isnt that like avoiding the situation?
A stellium is made up of multiple conjunctions (generally 3 to 4 of them) in the same sign. For example I have Sun, Mercury, Mars all conjunct in Aquarius 1st house.
You could say its an avoidance like behavior however I wouldn’t say its detachment as someone else mentioned. And I say this in the sense of to avoid something you need to feel it. As opposed to detachment which is to remove or step away from the feeling.
I don’t believe it would actually full blown avoidance though because he was quick to return a call from the text she sent. And that tells me he’s open to confronting the situation rather then avoiding it. Then toss in the fact of not remaining in contact someone for 3 months be it for non-disclosed reasons but while still showing signs of interest after that time past. That’s something that takes willpower and or other distractions to pull off especially so if you like that person still.
I also know how I get sometimes and an ex-aqua-gf born the day after me was and a few other friends all aqua’s that all act fairly similar in this way. Which also colors my thoughts a bit and lean more in that direction.
TCA– I have to say, I really appreciate your input… you clear things up A LOT…
I think about it, too, how we can go months without speaking and in one night its as if we were never apart… and in some STRANGE way i felt CLOSER to him… it meant a lot to me that he came out with my friend there because our “romance” has been pretty secret– we used to work together… we stopped talking just when I thought we were getting closer, seeing each other more often… he left on a business trip in australia in late October last year… he told me he was going but didnt call before leaving :O( didnt find out till i texted him… i hoped that when he came back he would call again, but he didn’t… I still sent him a hand crafted bookmark for x mas and a happy b day text in january, because to me he’s still a friend and because when we are together, he treats me like a princess and all in all I appreciate him… he responds always and never avoids me, he just doesnt initiate much…
The more I think about, the more I wish people would just talk to each other freely. I spent 8 months trying to guess, figure out and decipher my Aqua. He never told me how he felt about me, it was only when he felt that he was loosing me that he opened up, but by then I was fed up and tired of the head games. When I finally exploded one day, he asked me why I never said anything to him before and I just couldnt explain how he made me feel frozen and hesitant to express myself with him, because I was afraid of scaring him away. How unfortunate! I spoke with him the other day, wow what a big difference, when I speak with the Scorp its so easy, I feel at ease, I can communicate all my emotions freely. He asked to see me again (the Aqua), but I’m scared. He means so much to me, I dont want to lose our friendship (no matter how disjointed it is), what to do?
It’s funny how an Aqua has a way of having us enjoy their friendship, inspire loyalty almost inspite of what we think they’ve done or havent done to us… what are you afraid will happen if you go see your Aqua? When was the last time you saw him?
Yea, I wish I could just say what I felt… I had a chance once… we were texting back and forth last summer and I couldn’t take it anymore… he had switched jobs a month or two before so I said “I’ve always had the biggest crush on you and came to admire you a whole lot- I don’t see you anymore but I still think of you- I am really really glad to know you are happy”– yes, I still have the text… and to that he took a couple minutes and then said “I want to see you when I get home can you come over tuesday night?” and we proceeded to make plans that we’d break the next day… he called a week later and I dodged the call thinking maybe I should just avoid the entire thing… then i take it back and text him a poem I wrote for him… and he says “you are a temptress… but I will only exasperate you” and I feel suspended– what does that mean? I think, he must be letting me down easy? so I tell him “thanks for saying that, you are a gentleman–sorry for bothering you so much I just needed to get that out… don write back” and he doesnt write back, of course… then of course i freak out the next day thinking ”what the hell did I do? I didn’t even get a real answer and i cut him short!” so I text him “i apologize for last night, i think there was a miscommunication… if you are still up for it maybe we could meet up this weekend?” to which he replies “of course! lets meet this weekend”– so we meet for dinner… and i am so nervous… what will he say? what will I say? Will he act all weird and distant? (this was on Aug 1st 2008 when there was an eclipse in LEO! we always get together during fire sign events!)– and we have a great dinner, he takes me out to a french restaurant… we talk about the usual stuff… books that we’ve read, old coworkers, our family, and then he brings up my text–this is my time to talk about it, I tell myself… and I freeze, I dodge it completely and keep talking… I was surprised he referenced it at all, I thought he would avoid it… that was the closest we’ve ever gotten to talking about our feelings, or rather, MY feelings… *sigh* sorry for the longs story guys… guess im letting it all out….
Don’t apologize, that’s what we are here for to discuss these feelings. What am I afraid of? This man touches something in me that makes me want to protect him and show him what unconditional love is, in the past there has been no request that I have said no to. I turned my life upside down to be there for him and at the last minute he would cancel on me. It was always for a good reason and I would cut him slack, but I would be soooooo pissed off, because I pushed everyone away and cleared my schedule to make time for him. He couldnt understand why I would get pissed. OMG, he is so self-centered at times, and that is what I am afraid of. He has a very busy life and so do I, I’m afraid that we will make a date and I will clear my schedule and at the last minute something will come up and poof there go our plans. I think I would kill him, lol. I feel safe now, because I’m in control of the contact we have. He is such a control freak, that he even tries to schedule my calls, and I always ignore his requests and call out of the blue. Once I told him that I was last on his list and he got soooooo angry with me. I dont know why I even speak to him, but we have had some great times together and I feel that sometimes I am the only person that he confides in. Our intimacy is so wonderful, when we do hang together, wow its electric. I am just going to have to jump in, damn it…
I forgot to add, I haven’t seen him in five months.
PensiveGemini – You’re welcome… By saying exasperate he probably is saying he knows how frustrating he can be to people and the suspended portion sounds like its missing the key portion. I could read in between the lines in too many directions on that part to feel comfy in saying anything in an of the directions.
Aqua Lover – Almost all Aquarius’s hold out on their expressing the actual depths of their feelings until they feel they are losing someone. In someways its a good thing it, as it insures them a constant supply to hand out. Again though in handing it out its a issue of balance in not knowing how much is too much to give out at anyone point. And when threatened by the sudden change they react and give out more thinking that it will fix it. Unfortunately again it normally doesn’t have the desired outcome because its lacking a sense of balance and timing kind of like Mr. Aqua’s last tries. If an other is walking away and you push you push them away while if an other is walking towards and you push you get closer or run them over.
Grin fear is the great crippler of open and honest discussions… Aquas are also very guilty of leaving matters be as far as thinking people will just tell them what they need to know so they can act in accordance. If you don’t tell an aqua something they might never ask its part of that giving people the freedom to be as they are that they like so much for themselves.
I forgot to put this in the last reply a stellium is generally interpreted as a full integration or synthesis between the planets that make it up. I.e in my case Sun, Mar, Mercury all acting as one. Its not the easiest aspect pattern to interpret.
TCA– It’s true, he is completely aware of how others react to him… he’s said he used to be worse in regards to “rebelling” aqainst the status quo… he was one of those mohawk wearing musicians as a teenager, refused to hang out with people who weren’t into music, always drank his beer and smoked his cigarette… he’s also the type of Aquarius to say things to shock people… He’s calmed down now that he’s older (35) but I still see that kid that wants to continue doing his own thing (its a double edged sword because that side is so alluring but its also a reason why he can’t sit still in relationships)… at the same time when you catch him alone or with people he is comfortable with, he lets his softer side show… a gentleman, completely respectful and protective of women, intelligent, romantic, independent… yea, thats the Aqua type…
All in all, he inspires me… but I try to remind myself that I can’t keep going back to him everytime I need a shot of inspiration… while he never pushes me away when I reach out to him, he also doesnt reach out… sometimes I think that with him, this is probably as good as it gets, and that maybe I’ve gotten closer to him than most… in the end while I am romantically interested in him, I know its not the same for him… but like I said, he represents something different to me where it doesnt matter if we are romantically linked or not…
PenGem, wow I bet you and I can talk for hours about our Aquas, drinks? lol I completely understand what you mean. Our relationship is not on a romantic level,its on a human level (if you know what I mean). He considers me his best friend (says never had that with a woman) and he is mine and I don’t want to ruin that. Even though, its painful to get him to open up, and frustrating dealing with his control issues, I can’t abandon him. Once someone asked me how long we had been together, because he seemed to know me so well. I was floored, huh? She went on to say that he described me to a tee to her, from my fav color to my fav drink. When I repeated that comment to him, do you know what he said? “I just pay attention”. He has the biggest heart behind that brick wall. Next time I speak to him, I will schedule a date and take our resident Aqua’s advice and just tell him how I feel.
TCA, thanks for the insight. You should write a book. “Aquarius, the Myth, the Man, the Legend”, I kid…lol
Ya rebelling is something we do best. I once went to a biker wedding in a cut-off suit. And almost didn’t make it out of high-school because I though I should only have to go to the classes that had teachers I liked. The disciplinarian even use to call the parking lot my office hehe… I calmed down when I turned about (17) now (30) but I’ve never really been a normal aqua, and I’ll admit I’m a little over emotional due to a Uranus water singleton that’s square to my entire stellium and sextile my moon conjunct Saturn (retro).. Figure that one out hehe.. However, we often over extenuate what we lack in our charts.
I know its true though I wouldn’t have hit submit it if I had the slightest doubt because I don’t like giving false hope or misleading people. Plus I have no reason to lie because when we lie or deceive or even manipulate its because we don’t want to deal with the truth. And while I know that sounds a bit arrogant I have double Leo as descending sign for that to blame on so what can I really do. I really am humble at my best.. If an Aquarius in that state though lets you in its truly something to be cherished we won’t do it for everyone even if we like the person. Even if we are comfortable so feel special…
Sometimes we don’t reach out because were worried that it won’t be well received… We exist in a state that knows how fickle the human mind can be. And truly its one of the worst feelings in the world when you realize that the person your reaching out to doesn’t really want you too and we all know it happens all to frequently regardless if we want to admit to it. So its easier and more pleasant to just let things drift as they are. Ever keeping those special moments close to your heart all the while hoping they were true. And maybe perhaps for whatever reason clinging to hope that the other person might miss you enough to let you know they want you to reach out again. And then so when and if they do they then try in return the feeling as hard as they can to pick up where they left off with all do acceptance and forgiveness they can summon. And that is the true measure of an Aquarium heart.
I myself though am too fixed and seldom let things drift beyond a measure of comfort. As soon as I feel like something is out of place somebody whoever it is at the time is sure to hear about it…
See, not to get all cheerleader on you, but this is why I get along with Aquarius–Philosophy. (I’m sure you can agree AquaL) I too don’t like to lie for the same reasons, I want to live the truth and I would only offer reality and truth to others. I have learned to make sure to be as careful as possible with my choice of words because not many people want to deal with the truth… but i’d rather not say anything at all than to offer fluff.
On a drunken night, Aquarius said “Happiness is with you… but then there is life…” I didn’t say anything, I just tightened my arm around his side… first, it was like, wow I don’t know what that means but what a line… then it was like, geez, he has a great way of telling me he cant be with me LOL… but on some level I understood… he was on and off with a girlfriend at the time so I guess “responsibility” would be her and his past with her, etc. But my friends asked me- why didnt you ask him what that meant?!! Well, because I’d start messing with the truth once I start asking him questions. People may disagree with me but I think he said all he needed to say in that one sentence. I think most people say exactly what they mean the first time around anyway. Yes, I would have loved to hear more but I wasn’t going to push for it, I wanted it to be natural and real. I think picking it apart would have caused it to lose its essence. At least in this situations. In the end, I did understand what he meant.
you said “We exist in a state that knows how fickle the human mind can be.” So True. I think he and I both take that approach, which is why we can go weeks or months without talking because neither breaks. Well, I usually break, I have this darn Cancer rising that pushes through all the air in my chart after a while… but thank goodness for that, otherwise we’d never speak!
Can I ask, whats your moon sign and rising?
PenGem, You speak it girl. Tell me the truth no matter how ugly it is. Man, what a great line, I get it right away. You curse your Cancer rising, just like I curse my Scorpio moon, lol…
I secretly ADORE my cancer rising LOL– at least now that I’ve learned to harness her wonderul qualities *wink
Exactly my sentiments fluff is just a way of placating a person into compliance with a situation that isn’t often fair to them nor necessarily good.
Sure Aqua rising, Virgo moon… Virgo moon line – “As soon as I feel like something is out of place somebody whoever it is at the time is sure to hear about it…” It has a fairly strong placement 7th house as far as relating emotionally to others but it likes to act up on me a lot.. (The Moon’s squared Neptune as well which from what I’ve heard causes it to be overly sensitive as well.)
I’d go with saying most people at least try to say what they want to mean even if they screw it up. (not a reference to his line though as its pretty sweet and to the point.) And really its a hard call sometimes in deciding if we should take something at face value or to question it in hope of gain a better understanding. Personally I usually end up asking myself does it bother me not knowing if that’s what they really meant? I totally agree though that picking stuff apart can blow away the sentiments of it though.