Cosmic Dating with PensiveGemini: Feeling Neglected by Mr. Aquarius
March 11, 2009 by Pensive Gemini
“Cosmic Dating with PensiveGemini” relates the true-life chronicles of a twenty-something Brooklynite with a Gemini Sun, Aquarius Moon and Cancer Rising . Last week, she wrote about two guys she’s seeing: a Capricorn and an Aquarius.
I had been observing that my Aqua and I tend to meet up during the week, but not the weekends. The Moon was inTaurus that night, opposing my Mars in Scorpio and squaring my Moon in the 7th house. His negligence was affecting me, and I went for it — I texted Mr. Aqua, “How come we never see each other on the weekends?” and the next day he called and said he hadn’t really noticed that we didn’t hang out on the weekends (typical!). With his Mercury in Aquarius, he proceeded to clarify his boundaries with one simple question: “Do you think we are official?” He caught me off guard. He went on to say that he cares about me and he feels that I care about him, that he doesn’t want us to hurt each other by not being honest. He said he enjoys the pace at which we are taking things, and about anything else, he is not sure yet. I was confused. I thought we were getting closer? Whenever someone confronts me in any way, I feel the pull between my Cancer rising and my Aquarius Moon, wanting to run and hide and yet trying to harness my feelings reasonably. I wasn’t sure what I’d be fighting against if I reacted emotionally. I didn’t contest. I told him I agreed that the pace was fine.
The next day, he and I were supposed to meet up, but the weather was bad and we (or he!) rescheduled for Wednesday. Then on Wednesday, he said that he didn’t feel too well and preferred to stay home. I analyzed what that could mean. Was he trying to pull away? Completely pushing aside the Gemini thought process and taking heated Scorpio action, I messaged him, “After Sunday’s talk, Monday’s cancellation and today’s excuse, I feel it is best to remove myself from this situation. I appreciate you very much but I need something with possibility.” I went off shopping, attempting to distract myself from overthinking, backtracking and regretting anything. I received a call from Mr. Aquarius. I didn’t pick up. He then texted, “I don’t want to talk via text … pick up please.” I decided to call.
Without being able to get a word in, he began, “Are you busy? Are you out? You sound like you’re out; if you want I can call you back later? I don’t want to bother you if you are out. Should we talk later, or do you want to talk?”
He went on and on apologizing and asking me if he should call later.
“I just don’t get it … should I put up a fight? What did you get from Sunday’s talk?” he asked.
I wasn’t talking to Mr. Aquarius anymore; I was relieved to be receiving a call from his Pisces Venus — that’s when my Cancer rising opened up: “I was just confused about why you would want me around if you’re canceling on me and also making it clear that we are not exclusive … I felt like maybe you were trying to brush me off,” I said.
“If I weren’t interested, you would know … trust me, you would know. What’s going on? I thought we were getting closer,” he said.
“I thought we were getting closer, too! But then you go out of your way to make it clear that we’re not official, that you enjoy the pace, and then you cancel on me twice. I don’t want to play any games or be played with,” I told him, and we vacillated between defending our Aquarius and Gemini points of view, and reassuring his Pisces rising and my Cancer rising that we are still interested.
Not much changed after the talk (we were exhausted by all the emotion! We’re still Air signs, you know) and we still talk and hang out as usual. I felt better after hearing his nervous voice over the phone, acknowledging that he felt we were getting closer. I guess I just wanted to know if he cared if I was around. However, now I’m not sure if I’m okay with the pace.
Coming Up…
Next week, PensiveGemini decides to let someone go…
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Hey guys, I totally agree with you. Finally someone speaks my language. I totally get it. I was discussing something like this with my Scorpio son last night. We were debating infidelity and I was making a point that if two people can connect at a higher level of understanding and communication they should be open enough to talk to each other about being attracted to another person and having their partner understand the inner turmoil and conflict and talk about it as a friend. Am I dreaming? That is my nirvana, to find that person that I can talk to about anything and not be judged, just understood and supported. He thought I was talking about an “open” relationship. I tried to explain, but he didnt get it. Sometimes I think I was an Aqua in another life, I love the abstract.
Hitch! Funny story– you were almost an Aqua moon… well my Aqua moon is positioned at 00 degrees so I was almost a Capricorn moon! LOL What are your other placements?
AquaLover– You know, I’ve been curious as to your other placements because you mentioned you were a Cancer and I dont think I read you mention you had any air in your chart? do you know if you do? Have you taken a look at your chart? I’m curious to know because you sound so open minded (thank goodness) and I think your Scorpio son will be much more open minded for that… I personally get bugged out by the old fashioned restriction of gender roles, racism, sexuality, discrimination of any kind, etc. It just doesnt sit well with me…
PenGem, me too. I have struggled with relationships my whole life because my thoughts are alien to ppl. I would be very interested in having you look at my chart, I uploaded it to my page, under my photos, please be my guest.
I am very open minded. The one thing I love about air signs is their thought process, I can converse for hours with them about anything. I believe that a real connection between two ppl begins in the mind. Our minds are our true sex organs, if you can relate mentally, everything else follows. As a rule, I will only date ppl that provoke me mentally, sex is sex, but a stimulating conversation will light me up faster and stay with me longer. Soooooo, how is the Cappie…lol. I never made it out on Sat with the Scorp (well not the one I had in mind). My oldest son (Aries sun) dropped by unexpectedly and asked me to come along to Toys R Us with my grandson (Scorpio sun). We shopped and played with all the toys there, lol…I’m such a kid…
Aha! Your sun and mercury are in your third house of communication ruled by Gemini! With the Sun there you are a thinking person, focusing on communication and ideas, naturally curious… that house also rules siblings and young people in your life and with CANCER sun and mercury that would make you extra tight with your sons and grandchildren, i.e. the fact that you left your date behind for your family! With Mercury in the third house, it rules your rational thought, mind and speech, writing, communication, explorations, inquiry and research… so its no wonder a mental connection is very important to you! Topped off by your Aries rising… gotta love that free spirit!
Mr. Cappie is good! I spent last Saturday with him and it was great… the thing with him is he’s sord of longish distance… he lives in Jersey, about an hour and a half from the city and he works six days a week so I don’t get to see him as often as I’d like *frown* hopefully i’ll get to see him this weekend tho… he’s the one farthest away but he’s also the one that makes the most effort *smile*
AL(Sunshine)- Ha! As it would happen, I once blogged about sex and the art of good conversation. Have a look:
http://questionofmindfulness.wordpress.com/2008/02/10/acting-on-desire-ii-sex-and-the-art-of-good-conversation/
Pensive – just uploaded my chart onto my profile. Not sure if it works properly.
Hitch–
hmmm… I don’t see your profile… friend me!
Oh wait, just realised have to sign in to google connect. Gimme some time to set it up.
Hmm, Pensive, I can’t seem to friend you….
Oh, you are logged in google? I’m logged in to sasstrology… how should we do this? LOL
PenGem, thank you so much!! Thats me to a T, a free spirit, a puzzle, a contradiction…
HH, I read your blog, wow u blew my mind, some people would say that sex without love is basic and animalistic, no I disagree, sex without thinking is the animal form. Thanks for the link, I really appreciated it.
The Cappie sounds like a solid guy, he comes all that way to see you, I like that.
Pensive – hahaaa, I wasn’t logged into google but into sasstrology.com, then I thought google was needed. Lemme investigate a bit (Gemini) and get back to you later…
AL – thanks. I have few avenues to express myself without getting the ‘this chick’s psycho’ look, so the blog’s ideal.
Pensive Gem,
That’s Aqua 4 U! We ladies must accept that there is no exclusivity with these guys EVEN when there is! (SUPPOSEDLY)…. We simply can’t win! And we either deal or leave it the h*** alone! sigh….. They keep us RESTRICTED! Which I have told the Aqua I’m seeing more than 1ce but he plays dumb like he doesn’t know what I’m talking about. Then when I C him he gushes w/charm and puts on that he’s so into me, that I can’t walk away even if I wanted to. And besides…he won’t let me. I’ve tried on occasion w/o even verbalizing it (we feel each others energy 2 the depths!) and that’s when he lets his guard down some. Go figure.
Aqua rising! Ahh you feeeel each others energy… isnt that crazy???!! I feel the same way, like some weird psychic connection… i even start questioning myself sometimes but I’m always on point with it. Once, I came over to watch a movie with him… everything was great, and yet something was off… i thought we were getting closer but at the same time I told myself– you’re not going to see him again for a while… and i left feeling soooo sad that day… and of course, it took five months before I ever hung out with him again, we’ve spoken throughout that time but not until two weeks ago did we see each other again.
Seems like you’re aqua is pretty “normal” by their standards… even if it feels like pulling teeth with them, yours sounds like he just needs the ocassional reminder that he has to work to keep you. Good luck, girl!
Pensive Gem,
Girl pu’aleeeze! There is NOTHING normal about this Aqua! Nothing! Which is what I love about him! Mr Offbeat should be his name. I told him he is the quirkiest Aqua I’ve ever dated. Seeing as Aqua is all I seem 2 attract. Sun, moon, or rising….. Aqua is in there somewhere as 1 of the stronger planets. He is a 3x Aqua so U do the math! lol….
I too am in a double romance. My other is a Leo/Aqua. He’s offbeat too!
Pulling teeth! Wow! I just asked my 3x Aqua this weekend Y it is that I have to do that. Again he played dumb. (Grimace)
About your intuition…..all we can do is go w/what our intuition tells us with these guys. It’s all we’ve got! ‘Specially since they’re so into playing games in which they won’t admit to! And our Aqua senses will always kick in rite on time. Well, I know mine does. He’he’he…..
Thanx 4 the good luck! Same to U! : )…..