Cosmic Dating with PensiveGemini: A fickle twin
March 25, 2009 by Pensive Gemini
“Cosmic Dating with PensiveGemini” relates the true-life chronicles of a twenty-something Brooklynite with a Gemini Sun, Aquarius Moon and Cancer Rising. Last week, she told Mr. Aquarius she needed her space. (If you’re new to her blog, start at the beginning.)
I have to say I am stumped. While Venus retrograde has been helping me reevaluate what I have going on in my relationships, some things just keep coming back. The Aquarius keeps calling and leaving messages and texts even after I tried to ignore him. I don’t want to behave like a child, so I respond occasionally, assuming I have already made myself clear regarding the end of our “relationship.” Then on Saturday, as I was having a pleasant lunch with my Capricorn, I received a text from Mr. Aquarius: “You are not responding… did you dump me again?” (The Moon — planet of emotional needs — was in Aquarius, stimulating my Moon and Aqua’s Sun.) When did I take you back?! I didn’t want to call him; I was spending the day with someone else! And honestly, why respond to something so childish?!
Then, my Cap — exhausted from working double shifts all week — took a three hour nap on my couch in the middle of The Fifth Element, one of our favorite movies. My Cancer Rising knew all along he would be tired and would need a nap, and while I could have woken him up without a complaint, I wanted him to rest.
A little Gemini restless, I attempted to distract myself by surfing the internet. To no avail, I decided to respond to Mr. Aquarius’ texts and say, “What are you talking about?” Okay, now I know what you are all saying: “Why did you respond??” I have to say that while I am a little uneasy about him freaking out and showing up at my doorstep — he’s just so unpredictable — that’s not why I responded. Allowing my Aqua Moon to analyze my motives and emotions, I contemplated, maybe it’s my Cancer Rising that makes me an enabler to his neediness? However, I have a feeling it’s mostly all the Gemini (Sun, Mercury, Venus, North Node) in me that becomes restless and doesn’t stick to her plan. Did I text because I was concerned about his feelings? No. Did I text because I want to see him again? No. Did I respond because I felt guilty? No. I responded because I was BORED. Pretty silly, but at least I can understand myself enough to know that it’s not because I secretly want him back. Frankly, I’m tired of his antics, but with the attention span of a fish, I get sucked in to whatever is entertaining at the moment.
I am working on it, trust me.
Mr. Aquarius attempted to contact me the next day. Regretting that I responded to him at all, I ignored the call. I get so mad at myself sometimes; this is why Geminis come off so fickle! I wish I could be as blunt as an Earth sign and just cut straight to the point. I would avoid so much of the back and forth.
Coming Up…
Next week, Pensive Gemini spends part of her weekend with Aqua Stellium.
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OMG, The Fifth Element is one of my favs 22222. I’m going to watch it when I get home tonight, lol. So, Aquaman is still trying huh. I don’t think you called him because you were bored. Its the Cancer rising at work. I’m the same way. There are some ppl, that despite me telling them that I don’t want to date them, they keep texting me or calling. I can’t ignore them. I try to, but it nags at me. I’m just a friendly person and even if we can’t date, why can’t I be civil? We are all just human after all, and who am I to judge. So you can be a irritating ahole, but you can always count on a “Hey, I’m great…u?” back from me. So the Cappie is still around, nice. How is that going?
Mr. Aqua probably won’t stop contacting you until he realizes what he’s doing wrong. I’m sorry to say it that way but its true. Until someone tells him his behavior is not acceptable he’ll continue it. And really who wouldn’t if it gets or got him the attention he so wants in the past… I.e. The squeaky wheel gets the grease right…
Do what you have to do even if it feels bad at the time if you don’t want him around anymore you need to tell him the truth. Just don’t forget to tell him why or he’ll never learn from his mistakes…
TCA, I agree with you. Just as I hit the submit button on my last post, karma, my phone goes “ding”, text message from Pisces that I dated once (such a sweetheart, but not for me). Of course I answered, but this time I clearly made sure that even though I responded, it by no means that I am interested in seeing him in a romantic way. Maybe our girl here should do the same. I am firm believer in staying friends (even with my ex husbands (3), but that’s another blog all together, lol) Firmly tell him how she feels and that she does not want to be rude, but she feels she will be leading him on if she responds to his advances. I think its an excellent opp to educate him.
Aqua Lover – It makes everything go much quicker too… No need for him to spend ages analysing everything for where we went wrong…Then again I’m just saying this because I wish someone would have been straight with me…
TCA, I can relate to that. I always want to know what went wrong, so I can learn from my mistakes. Sometimes, its a bitter pill to swallow, but I am grateful to the ppl who have been brave enough to tell me the truth.
Hey Pensive, that’s just like a Gemini to decide on something, change their minds, and then second-guess the new decision! I’m a Gemini, I get it. While we struggle with doing/not doing the right/wrong thing, because we are open to all possibilities, we always wonder if the other decision was better.
You did what you did, said what you said. Doesn’t mean it was ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Just opens up different possibilities!
I don’t consider it being fickle, only flexible. Being able to forget makes Geminis one of the most forgiving signs of the zodiac. Very little is taken personally.
If you’re sure, maybe you could tell the Aqua not to send any more messages. But I’m guessing that closing off the avenue is the less interesting option… LOL.
Guys!
Yea, he keeps texting… yesterday, after a brief cordial exchange and then me ignoring him, he texted “are we breaking up again?”
I text, “we were never together babe, we spoke about seeing other ppl and it was you who brought it up… i appreciate you being clear with me… i can never be mad at you for that… but thats when i started being wiser with boundaries…”
And then no response… then he calls my job… I get a call that says he is on the phone… I’m hoping he’s not about to freak out over the phone. I cautiously take the call… he doesnt say anything about the text… just goes on like a cocky footbal player who is too immature to acknowledge whats going on…
He’s cracking jokes “yea im about to go do my taxes… get that money, that paper, that cheeeeeeese, that queso, you know? cuz thats how life is you know… so yea, you call me whenever you want and just check in u know what im saying, just say ‘whats up papa’ u k now ‘whats up H…” He doesn’t talk like that. Not when he’s normal.
He just went on and on and I said “you’re scaring me” and he stops automatically and even his tone changes and he says “yea i know… its too much” and then he’s like so we talk later and im like sure and thats how we left it…
Then of course this morning I get the “good morning amazing woman” and I’m like “good morning sir” and he says “sir? why not love?” I mean, at this point its just silly… I will have to talk to him at some point like TCA said. However, throughout this ENTIRE time of getting to know each other I have consistently brought up the issues that concerned me- his lack of calling, not responding to my calls till a day or two later, his negligence, building trust, I have consistently brought it up to his attention. At this point I am just not willing to fight anymore.
Did you guys ever see Jerry Maguire? One of fav parts is when Cuba says “You my man are hanging on by a very thin thread and I DIG that about you!” LOL, poor guy, he wants u…PenGem, what did u do to him???
Hitch!
Yes, that flexibility that makes us so charming… and yet it bites us in the behind from time to time… I have to stick to it… I’ve been looking at my transits and with help from a friend who’s an astrologer he told me that Pisces in Uranus is squaring my Sun and Venus in the 12th house… by the end of april it will be squaring my venus and sun at exactly the same degree they are placed in my chart– i hope I am not confusing you but i find this so interesting-
What does that mean? Uranus is the planet of unpredictability and its squaring my venus (planet of love and sex) in my 12th house (house of secrets) which dictates that someone is hiding something and it could come to a head–which is exactly whats going on right now! Is that enough drama for ya? So far, neither of these guys know about each other and frankly, its exhausting me already to have so much going on, and with all these planets going crazy I want to stop the drama right here, especially if its just stressing me out… I also have Jupiter now in my 8th house and that always has the dangers of “too much of a good thing” so while its great that I am dating and having fun, its getting a little too hectic… at this point I just want to huddle in a corner and read a bunch of books until this all blows over!
<—— you are now witnessing Drama Queen Gemini!!!! Please stand by.
haha AquaL– I think he wants me cuz i dont want him anymore lol… or maybe its like he said – he liked me more than i thought…
Pensive – the current transits are hitting everyone hard in different areas of life. The Saturn-Uranus opposition has been sitting on my MC/IC axis for AGES. I’m sick of it.
Thought you might want an update on the Leo. Stewing and bearing a grudge isn’t my style, so on Monday I wrote him a card apologising for my anger, not about getting back together or anything, but just to mitigate the nastiness I was also responsible for. I did say some horrible things, and no one deserved to hear it even if I did feel hard done by.
I got a friendly email saying the words were sweet, thanks, attached with a picture of a spring lamb soft toy I gave him, next to an empty glass of wine. He made a joke about the lamb finishing the wine. Followed by news about how busy work has been. I left it at that.
People are entitled to their neurosis, I think.
Oh no..juggling more than one guy is hard, but you can do it (I have faith in you). Boundaries baby girl, he would never allow u to act this way with him. Now the question is, what would an aqua do with a situation like this? I know, he would tell you straight up, don’t call me. {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}
AquaL– YOU ARE SO RIGHT!! My cousin (who is also a Gemini) told me when I was having trouble break up (as usual) with someone I was dating last year, she said “When a guy wants to break up with you, he breaks up with you. So don’t go feeling all bad and wasting time. You have to do what is right for you.”
On that not, you are right AquaL, I hadn’t thought of that. If it was me nagging him he would have called me crazy a couple times already… time to snap outta of it!
Hitch–> Well you are considerate and you don’t want to burn all your bridges so I think it was good that you cleaned things up with your Leo… its good you didnt email him back, though. You spoke your piece and its a good thing he wrote back, it shows there are no hard feelings. I guess we’ll stay tuned to see if he comes back around, too…
That’s my girl!!! Can you dig it, I knew that you could.
OMG! I go thru the exact same things! I am a capricorn, but I have a gemini moon and an Aries ascendant! so not only do i get bored quickly, and appear fickle – and the aries impulsiveness to that – and the tug of war of my capricorn sun begging me to think and caluculate before i act!
Kelz, I love your combo! I’ve had a couple Capricorn friends with Gemini moons! haha I love to see how they bounce back and forth from their need for structure and yet their random spurts of curiosity and loose tongue! lol
Kelz and Pensive – and I’ve a Gemini Sun, Capricorn Moon. Talk about bouncing back and forth the drive towards flexibility (Sun) and the inner need for structure (Cap).
Hitch– whats your rising?
Sag…
Pensive – it is a challenge! Especially when it comes to relationships. The cappy yearns for stability and structure and the gemini moon screams for variety, change, excitement, and can’t stand to be bored – so restless – I need constant stimulation! but every now and then the cappy sun wants to withdraw and be alone!
Hitch – the gem moon desires flexibility – in everything! the cap sun – needs it to be structured! it can get tiring! how do u cope?
Hith– wow, your rising is opp your sun! and then you have the cappy moon, yikes! I’m with Kellee, how do you cope??
Kellee– Since i’ve had my fair share of caps with gem moons, I have to ask– why is it that Caps tend to “block” off emotional stuff… I know its not like air signs where you remove yourself from something, I think its different… am I making any sense? I just notice that women with strong Cap influence tend to mourn, cry, get emotional in private, and I mean COMPLETE privacy, like not even with their closest friends or something… maybe you know about this, too, Hitch…
Kellee and Pensive,
How do I cope? With great difficulty! Haha.. Well, awareneness helps, and I have Sun-Saturn conjunct in Gemini so I’m a bit more heavy-footed than most Geminis. Around 2000-2001, I survived the Pluto-Saturn opposition, during my Saturn return, and Pluto transiting over my Ascendant. If I survived that, I can survive anything…!
Pensive – if you want to understand Caps and emotions, maybe not specific to Cap suns, but certainly Cap moons, and women with strong Cap influences, this article by Eric Francis may help. It certainly helped me, especially when most astrology cookbook-style texts tell you people with Cap Moons are emotionless, ambitious career-climbers!
http://www.ericfrancis.com/issues/0307/capmoon_essay.html
I still refer to it from time to time.
Tsk, as soon as I hit the ’submit’ button, it occurred to me that using ’survive’ three times in two sentences is so Cap moon… Geez.
Thanks Hitch, Im going to take a look at because my Cancer rising (althought opposing Cap) always seems to attract Caps to me… my lil bro is a Cappy, too (sun, moon, merc) so it’ll help…
Also, have you taking astro classes? How have you learned about transits? I’m trying to learn as we speak, esp since Uranus in Pisces will be at an exact square with my sun and venus in the 12th house by the end of April… Its really scaring me away from things… sigh*
Pensive – that article lead to a lot of insight. And you are making perfect sense – Caps just don’t want to deal with emotions – from my point of view we are deeply sensitive – quite earthy – and our emotions are so strong and powerful – I think this is why we tend to reserve them – constantly – its as if we allow ourselves to ‘feel’ them, we think it will just be too much too handle. I to deal with my emotions alone – if I am hurt and in pain – emotionally – I let it all out alone. I’m aware of this, so over the years, I’ve worked on allowing them to flow freely – meaning in front of other people – but this doesn’t come easily – for example – if I don’t know you on a deeper level and feel really comfortable with you – you will only see a mask – I will be unable to share with you my deepest emotions – they are reserved for those that have deeply touched my heart….
and too add to that – i have an air sign moon – soooooo – i have both the ability to ‘block off emotions and to remove myself emotionally’ from a situation. (a double whammy! lol)
so, to top things off – relationships for me are extremely difficult – check this out – not only is my sun in cap, but so is my venus and my mercury! so i can come off as communicating my airy feelings in a calculated and aloof way! which as u may have guessed means that it takes me quite a while to warm up to a new relationship. (the emotion lies hidden away)
Hitch – that was a great and insightful article about the cap moon. give me your thoughts on this too. earth/air combos.
Oh, one more thing I meant to mention – right before I read the article – it came to me that since cap is the ‘opposite’ of cancer – which is ruled by the moon and emotions – it kind of makes perfect sense for cap to be on the other end of emotion extremity when in that placement of the moon. what a conflict that must be – an inner one at that.
Pensive – not taking formal lessons, just reading a lot, from books and websites. If you have astrology software or use astro.com, you can overlay the transits over your chart to see where they make contact. Uranus has been in Pisces a long time, so you would’ve been feeling some effects already, the exact square will just mark a turning point in the experience (based on my personal experience with outer planet transits – they are so slow that by the time exact contact hits, you would’ve had plenty of warning!).
Kellee — yeah I feel things quite strongly but express them outwardly by taking a hardline position. Looks like you’ve really worked on yourself – I’m still working on mine. I once dated a Cap Sun, Scorp Moon — boy, was he a twisted bundle of repressed emotion, like having a fishbone stuck in his throat perpetually. I couldn’t really cope — although I have a lot of Saturn/Cap, I am finally still a Gemini Sun. I still like some levity, and the Sag rising likes to laugh a lot. I couldn’t understand what the point was in all that angsty frowning without trying to really understand where it was coming from.
I am reading on astro.com, and it is on point with how i operate! wow! i am amazed!
Pensive – can’t wait to get some updates on the Aquarious! I can’t help but believe that the cappy will remain mostly predictable – and stable…
HaHa Kelle, you may be right about the Cap- I talk myself in and out of things all the time… and i’m trying but Aqua Stellium (The guy from my past) keeps popping into my head… I can’t help it! grrr And Mr. Aqua, I just dont know man…
Hitch– yes, you are so right about the fact that its already been happening… since this darn transit began, I havent been stable in relationships– I have met the person i would want to be with but there are these invisible obstacles and just bad timing— i just get scared that something crazy is going to happen when they hit the exact degree– for example, my coworker is a cap with a gem moon… its 14 degrees Gem so this Uranus transit would affect her too… Her mom past in the first week of dec 07– I looked up the transits of that day and Uranus was in Pisces at exactly 14 degrees squaring her moon, moon represents our mothers… am I reading too into this? I just thought that was a bit eerie…
Hey Pensive, Uranus is always unpredictable, so you just have to trust that you’ll have the resources to deal with the change. It could well be positive, and positive change has its own stresses too. Only thing to do is to work on ourselves one day at a time.
Thanks Hitch! I can get paranoid and start looking into things and stressing myself out… like you said, all I can do is have the resources to deal with the change… luckily, I’m a Gemini, all about change!
Where or when did Uranus square your sun?
Hey Pensive, Uranus made an exact square to my Sun (in the 6th) somewhere in 2006 and because of the forward-retrograde-forward motion, it went over the point several times! The details are too long and tedious but basically I was in a 6th house mess — problems with work visas disrupting my work routines, and so on. Took more than a year to sort it out.
Then in 2007/08, Uranus made the same 3 passes over my IC…. but by then I just went with the flow. Got a new job, moved residence around the time it hit the IC and opposed Saturn on my midheaven. All positive changes, but still stressful in their own way.
I understand paranoia! It’s all that Gemini second-guessing!
LOL @ attention span of a fish…you’re great!