Cosmic Dating with PensiveGemini: Juggling Two Guys
March 4, 2009 by Pensive Gemini
“Cosmic Dating with PensiveGemini” relates the true-life chronicles of a twenty-something Brooklynite with a Gemini Sun, Aquarius Moon and Cancer Rising .
Ever dated two people at the same time? Well, I haven’t, at least not until now. I met an Aquarius a couple weeks ago and a Capricorn soon after. They are both completely different, but both appeal to a significant element of who I am and what I enjoy.
With the Aquarius, it was instant attraction. He’s tall, handsome, a firefighter (!!), the confidence of an Aqua but the down-to-earth demeanor of an Earth Moon. I met him at a lounge on the LES while I was out with a girlfriend. His approach was gallant, introducing himself by offering his hand and his name, and excusing himself for being so forward. He was cool and debonair, having the bartender serve me a drink in his name while he interacted with others around me. Mr. Aqua gave me his card, and I gave him my number. Throughout the night, we exchanged texts while sitting just a couple feet away from each other. Nothing less than memorable with an Aquarius! He was so charming, I had to choose only the best adjectives to describe our encounter.
With the Capricorn guy, it was less instant attraction, but more fun and play. I met him while joining my Cancer friend on a short road trip somewhere in deep Jersey to meet up with the Virgo Moon guy she’s been “talking” to (but its taking them forever to get anywhere! Don’t get me started on Virgos.) Mr. Capricorn is very outspoken and talkative, breaks into dance moves in the middle of the street if he hears a song (he’s an awesome dancer), and has something to say about just about everything he observes. And me, being the witty Gem Mercury that I am, has to call him out on his loud comments, rebut with my own sarcasm, tease him about his observations, and question his theories. I thought he would hate me. But we just went back and forth with our flirtatious teasing. Behind all his sarcasm, he was detailed enough to hold doors, say “yes ma’am” and limit his teasing when I gave him a look. (This is all within hours of knowing each other.) I hadn’t considered getting to know him or talking to him after leaving Jersey, but my friend played matchmaker and gave me his number, saying that the Capricorn wanted to see me again.
On the phone with Capricorn and Aquarius
Now I’ve never juggled two guys before but hey, I’m single and free and not committed to either. Besides, my North Node is in Gemini and I am supposed to strive to satisfy the Gemini in me — and what better way than to date a guy for each twin! (I kid!) In all seriousness, the good thing is that while Mr. Aquarius is out and about and too busy to call or return my calls, Mr. Capricorn is attentive and thoughtful. He sends me texts throughout the day to say hello, and asks how my day is going. Mr. Aquarius calls when I least expect him to, and it usually leads to an unplanned meeting an hour later. I have to say that Aquarius’ spontaneity is incredibly romantic. On two occasions, he’s met me at work during my lunch hour to take me out for a bite. Once, he called and asked if I could come down for a hug. He had stopped by just for that! (All together now — Awww.) I love spontaneity! Mr. Capricorn prefers to plan and likes to find out first if I have anything set up for the weekend before he asks if I’m up to see a particular movie, if I’d enjoy a play (he’s an aspiring actor), or if there’s something else I’d like to do. So we make plans. I’m totally cool with the planning, because I get to fantasize about it later! He’s not usually the one to initiate something spontaneous, but he’s definitely down if I suggest something.
At least three times so far, Mr. Aquarius has texted inquiring what I’m up to while I’ve been at a party or lounge with friends. He’s then asked if he could stop by and see me (the man has GPS on his car and there’s just no stopping him!) Sure enough, he shows up to party with me, as well as people he’s never met before — my friends think he’s so cool for that, by the way. If I don’t pick up Mr. Capricorn’s calls, his Aqua Moon gives me my space and lets me get back to him. If I don’t pick up Mr. Aqua’s calls, he calls my work phone or leaves me messages on my voicemail like, “I feel like I’m stalking you … but I just want to know if everything is okay.” What’s that about? I’m thinking that’s his Pisces Rising — not always getting that I’m just a bit busy.
Freedom vs. Security
As of right now, I feel they both have something that I want. Aquarius’ spontaneity is exhilarating; I definitely don’t mind the popping out of nowhere. What I do mind is that it all happens on his time. The Capricorn’s attentiveness is awesome. He is literally always there when I need him. When a good friend of mine passed away last month, Mr. Aquarius was unreachable — although in his defense he did check up on me … on his time, of course. Mr. Capricorn was there when I called — major brownie points. However, then there’s security. Mr. Aquarius appeals to my Cancer rising. He has his career together, his own place, his own car, his own stuff, his own life. Mr. Capricorn got a bit too comfortable too soon. He invites himself over to my place or assumes he can spend the night. Dude? But then, Mr. Cap is a creative type who I can talk to about my poetry. We also find each other incredibly hilarious. Mr. Aqua’s sense of humor is too … how do you say? He’s not funny.
Make a decision between the two? Not likely. This is too much fun!
Coming Up…
Next week, PensiveGemini writes about feeling neglected by Mr. Aquarius.
View PensiveGemini’s natal chart.
Visit PensiveGemini’s profile on Sasstrology.net.
Sign up at Sasstrology.net to create your own dating blog.
Comment below about your experiences with Capricorn and Aquarius men.
Subscribe to Sasstrology for the latest articles by email or RSS.
Become a fan of Sasstrology at Facebook.
Follow Sasstrology at Twitter.
Follow Sasstrology on Google buzz.
wow – you want youwant – you don’t know what you want. Every sign has this issue at somepoint I guess. I wish I had your dilemma. I am fated to just meet one guy at a time- then the question is “is this guy worthy of me or not??” yes no, no yes. but I am Virgo sun/Sagg moon with Libra Rising- I want to connect with someone but I don’t want to be at the mercy of there whims, unless of course there is some misadventure in it. But I am currently trying to get things on with a Gemini and wow you guys are like 2 people, hard to get a handle on. I’d say play out the 2 for awhile. but I often choose the wait and see approach. Especially with the new Gemini, I’m sure he’s got several go to girls. So I’m just going to have to make myself stand out by being my extra awesome self. your moon seems to blend well with Mr Aqua and you probalby admire him for his “I got it all together”ness but you seem to communicate better and creatively with Mr cap- which is more important???
I want I want I want *grin* which is more important? Both! That’s the problem… since I am only getting older, its become increasingly important to me to feel fulfilled in my relationships… however, I do get distracted with in the moment fun which I’m trying to harness as we speak!… to attract a Gemini takes a fun, light hearted, charismatic individual… to keep a Gemini would involve a well balanced individual that can fly with us from reality and practicality to fun and adventure! With my Aqua and Cap, I am hoping to figure out if one has a little more balance than the other… Virgo sun, Sag moon and Libra rising? Awesome combo! I vibe really well with Sag moons—an ex-boyfriend, friends, and a current crush. We talk endlessly about philosophy and politics and always find ourselves in the middle of some event or outdoor adventure… my longest relationship was with a Sag moon… *sigh*
Yeah points for me- I’m hoping my wiles can make him forget anyone else he’s interested in I can’t wait to see him -it’s long distance right now and we talk on the phone but it’s not the same(he’s much younger). It’s a shame we can’t take the best qualities of 2 lovers and mush them into one person. like Washington said ” we must make the best of mankind as they are, since we cannot have them as we wish”- you’ll be alright- just don’t go trying to change anybody- least of all yourself. been there done that.
I’m interested in knowing how this turns out…I wonder how an aqua moon vs a cap moon can be more suited towards your emotional side. You mentioned that the aqua guy was unavailable at the time of your friend’s death…how did the capricorn guy react when he found the news? Who was more comforting and who is more available to you when you are having a bad day and need time to vent?
My friend passing away was very personal but Mr. Capricorn didn’t shy away from it… Aqua was most definitely there as well just not as attentive as Capricorn… Aqua would text me messages like “I know 2009 has had a rough start, but soon it will all be okay…” and Cap would message similarly “I know you’re strong…”– the main difference was that if I called, Capricorn was there. If I called Aqua, I would have to wait for a call back and by that time I didn’t really feel like talking anymore. Capricorn is definitely more available to me… Aqua has a busy schedule, more than one project/job, so I guess that while I wish I could reach him, I give him more leeway because his busy schedule allows for the lifestyle that I respect him for… Capricorn is there at the drop of a dime and Aqua comes around to wisk me away and removes me from it all… once again, if only I could have both!
Wow..u have some great worlds on ur hands. I have had the pleasure to have been with n dated both signs. I am a Leo n from personal experience I must say that: Aqua’s are aloof. They disappear reapper to see if ur there n then disappear again. Capricorns are homebodies, possessive and jealous people. They are attentive tho and believe in spendin quality time with their partners. Aqua’s I must say thinks that the world is waitin and revolvin around them so they “take their time with EVERYTHING” doesnt matter wat it is. They do have a spontaneity that I like with making you feel special. They are by heart deep thinkers and are analyzin ur every move without u knowin. I kno because I found out after having a few heated discussion. Which were things that should have been addressed when it was happening. They hide and hinder their feelings as well which can frustrate u. They make like u deeper than u think which will puzzle u because how will u kno if they dont express it in a way u would understand. I will come back to comment more…
“They may like u deeper than u think which will puzzle u because how will u kno if they dont express it in a way u would understand.”
I agree! You have to be simultaneously aware enough to know that they wouldn’t be around at all if they didnt like you, they wouldn’t do all those romantic sweet things (however small and spaced out), but preocuppied enough not to internalize the fact that they are not emotionally inclined. It can become a bit difficult because it really does involve a lot of mental work and emotional harnessing…
Pensive Gemini,
They are very emotional. Behind closed doors. They are very proud people and see that other people that are outwardly emotional when they are internal puzzling to them. Its kind of like they think that you showing ur emotions as “too emotional” Which absolutely makes no sense! It doesn’t matter if u show it to me or keep it to you. You are still emotional period. Aquas have this thing where they think you know what they know without saying anything about it? Makes sense? That’s y they get upset and you have no idea why. Its a not possible expectation that they have of people. It’s up to u if u want to deal with that. The funny thing about that is that I am a Leo. I am very proud, prideful and at times puzzling. Which can all be explained to depending on the person. I am willing to share if I feel that you are that way as well. Its a give and take. U give I give and we both take. U give me something I give u something. Vice versa. Sometimes I get into an awful mood and I block everything out and focus what I am upset about. Which can be detrimental to myself and to the relationships I have with people. Because they dont understand how my brain works. They are like that as well. They shut down all forces. Lol, whether be family or friends. So I understand their personality a bit I just want them to do it to me because I am concerned person by nature.
2 be continued…. on the phone
Still waters run deep, very very true with Aquas. Never assume they dont feel things, they do, its just kept in a very private place that very few ppl get to visit. I have a fav niece that is a perfect example, she is fiercely independant and distant. When I do hear from her, its always out of the blue, she will bring up something she has observed about me, or has learned from me (when?). She checks in and then poof! off she goes. My best friend in the whole world is an Aqua male, we dated for 8 months and let me tell you that was a ride..I’m a Cancer with Aries rising, so you can imagine how opposite we are, but my biggest mistake was assuming he took me for granted. From his distance, he was watching my every move and can read me like a book. To my surprise, when we “broke up” (they hate the traditional, so in his book we are still dating, just cuz I see him maybe once a year does not mean a thing to him..lol)he stated that he would allow me some time to recover (yes I did need it, this man can drive me to drink), but that I should not take too much time because he needed me. LOL For what? I facinate him, my emotional range is so vast that he is in awe and wishes he could let go like that. I think he studies me and imitates my behavior, but that is another story. Good luck with your Aqua, they are awesome, just have a ton of patience.
Omg…Aqua Lover…You had me rollin with laughter that was AMAZING…I have no clue what my me being a Leo with Scorpio rising And the aqua that I dealt with was of course an Aqua with a Gemini rising.Can u give me some insight into that? Why did yiu guys break up in the first place? If u guys were broken up why was he watching your every move from a distance anyway? I dont understand them based off of that one sentence. Because the Aqua that I dealt with was the same way! i found that out after having a talk with him after soooo many months that he was watch my myspace status which can be the simplest things! Sometimes they can appear to have nothing to do with and then hit you with something random like that. I mean I dont get it. Y watch someone you have absolutely no contact with? Thats a waste of time in my book.
Hehehe…the stories I could tell you about him…but seriously, I don’t know enough about astrology to answer your question, I have done some research on the Cancer/Aqua mix (he is an Aqua/Gemini 2) only because I love solving puzzles and he posed a BIG challenge to me. As to why we broke up…he played a wrong card, you see they love to play with ppls head. Nothing amuses them more than pushing someone’s buttons, its not done in a bad way, its like a child disobeying a parent, just to see how far they can go. But I was fed up with the mind games and blew up, told him exactly what I thought and he freaked, omg..he didnt expect that reaction and he could not understand why I didnt want to be friends anymore. I was just tired of always playing by his rules, always on his time, they are fixed signs (they will NOT change) so as a Cancer, it was up to me to give in…I did for a while, but he caught me on an off day and KABOOM! Now he is always asking to spend some time with me, but I dont know if Im ready for another ride, I agree with you, its a waste of time. Life is too short for all that bull****. I believe that love is a risk, put it out there, like the saying goes, It is better to have loved and lost, then to not love at all…
Exactly! You have confirmed it for me! They do LOVE to play games…But they say they don’t! I mean its fun and all in the BEGINNING because it poses as a challenge but after getting to know this person it is not needed AT ALL..So it took you blowing up for him to realize that you wasnt going along for the ride? I gave in by cuttin indirect communication off (social networks) …It was getting tired and Im not no puppet on no strings. I’m all for reconciliation but I cannot put up with the “confused” state he is in. Like make up your mind on what you want. So now he wants to see you…for what? Bring on the stories I want to see if this relates to my situation.
Dear Jeffrey Kishner,
You have a fantastic site! What would be your advice on the Leo female, Aquarian male relationships? How should a Leo female handle an Aquarius man? Should I use his disappearing tactics the way mostly all these Aquarian men use on us? Your advice will be of much help. Thank You
Confused? That is putting it mildly, they are so afraid of getting hurt, that they take 3 steps forward and jump back 4. I don’t want to give our girl here a bad impression of her Aqua, they are definitely worth getting to know. But be warned, in the beginning they are all into finding out what makes u tick (like a mad scientist), you must keep some mystery about u to keep them interested, because once they figure you out, they can drop u without warning. Okay one quick story, He and I met online (yes they love online relationships) and talked for many months before we actually met. We had a real connection mentally and I think that is what cemented our friendship, by the time we met (face up), I felt pretty comfortable with him. He always warned me that he was shy and when we met I expected to have to work hard to make him relax. Well, let me tell u, he had been drinking a little (I guess to relax) and we hit it off and he was NOT shy in the least. For our next date we had planned a long weekend and were actually going to spend a night together (second date, hey I just realized something, he really liked me,lol) anyway, this time he was sober, OMG it was like night and day, I spent a painful 3 hour drive next to a log, I tried all my charm, my jokes and nothing…just when I gave up and started texting my friends to rescue me, he turns to me and ask me a question, “What is on your bucket list?” Huh? LOL…hehehehe I loved it! There was life on Mars after all….looking back on it all, I would do it again, cuz girl it was a trip and one half. What he wants to see me for? hmmmmm Once he told me that he feeds off my energy, so I think he is running low on inspiration. I truly love this man, but I think my love is more like a mother’s love for her rebel son, indulgent and amused, he can get away with anything…I just joined this site, my name here is “Sunshine425″ come visit my page some time, I would definitely love the company. I look forward to hearing more from our dater, sounds like tons of fun….
Hey Aqua Lover,
How do I find you on here? I don’t know how to work this site. Let me kno. Im not tryin to put her down with her Aqua mate. Just being realistic as to how they are. I have noticed that i the past couple of months thats all I have been attraction. Aqua guys…n some Aqua girls…. I mean if we are polar opposites why are these people coming into my life its Amazing to me.
I was only speaking for myself, when I made that comment. I don’t think you are trying to put her down, I just meant that I did’nt want to prejudice her. Anyway, follow the link and join the site, it’s really interesting. There are tons of topics I think you will find entertaining. I attract Aqua ppl all the time, opposites attract. I think it has to do with some aspects of my chart that appeals to them. I’m still learning about this stuff.
http://www.sasstrology.net/
Oh K I see what you meant. Yea she will have to judge for herself but keep in mind the things to lookout for. She has some insight from us now. Pensive Gemini its always best to see for yourself. In this case lol. If you can handle the things that were said here and dont mind the detachmenet periods by all means go ahead. Another thing that can happen is they are good at springing surprises at you that make u go “WAT”?? “When Was This”?!!!
Wow, so this is the weirdest thing ever. I’m a Gemini and have been dating a Capricorn for alittle over 6 months, and I know this is horribly wrong but I still see my Aquarius Ex every so often. Everything you have said is totally on point. My Ex was soooo distant, and that’s what drove me away from him. Like a Gemini, I need constant attention. And my boyfriend is so reliable, but I feel like he’s emotionally distant. I don’t want to do this to him, it just happens. Idk, I just thought the commenalities were freaky.
Wow…so maybe you need to sit down with your Capricorn and have a talk with him. I understand that he may be driving you to talk to the Aquarian but it doesnt help the situation between u and the current boyfriend. If you want it to work make it work if not then end the relationship. I think Aquarians have this intoxicating allure to them. That makes you lean their way. Does this Aqua dude know you have a current boyfriend? Let me know.
HI ALL! Thank you so much for your comments!
AquaLover and ChiCa— lately I’ve been wanting to keep a large part of myself to myself… its a dilemma especially when I feel that I DO want to be close to someone I just find it hard to get to the point where I am comfortble enought to go there emotionally… I guess Mr. Aqua’s ways allow for that … Mr. Cap is great, but I also know that he’d go emotionally faster which I am hesitating whether I want to do right now or not… I know how I react when things go to fast emotionally…
JimNi– thats crazy that we’re in similar situations… how long have you been with your Capricorn? I know what you mean about feeling bad and not wanting to hurt your Cap but not being able to ignore that connection with your Ex… you dont want to hurt anyone and yet you cant help how you feel… I guess it would depend on how serious you are with your Cap and how intense its getting with your Aqua ex…
Pensive Gem,
I agree with you on keeping a BIG part of urself to urself. I totally get that. The thing is Aquas have a game plan (to me) and that is to find out everything about you; get u in such a comfortable state, find out ur steelo and then zoom the hell off. Be careful with you. You and also your feelings. Its terrible and unpleasant to open up to someone who always gives u unsure signals of stayin (Aqua) I will not be too scared to open up with the Cap at least you know from them that they have real interest in you. If they like you they will see to it that you know. Trust me I was with one for a while. How do you react when things go fast emotionally?
ChiCa, you are right on about how they want to find out everything about YOU but they keep so much of themselves guarded away. My Aqua has joined me when i’m out with my friends, which mind you, he asked me if he could come, I didnt invite him. He has done that a couple times. I am not sure if he would have been okay with me asking to meet him while he was out with his friends. In that way, it is definitely one sided and infiltrating on my space while keeping his space to himself.
How do I react when things go too fast emotionally? I literally freak out, I run, I get away from the person. I can’t explain it, there is just something scarey about someone who knows what they want and how much of it they want when you are not even sure yet yourself. I don’t like to hurt anyone and when someone gets emotionally involved faster than I, I feel like I am responsible for their emotions and that responsibility freaks me out. That is why I am comfortable with the emotional distance. But I guess too much of that isn’t good either. I’m in the search for that intangible balance… someone who can show me they care without involving too much emotion and responsibility so soon…
Ahh boy. Yep. They like their space but love to invade yours. You are right about the friends. If u invited urself over he wouldnt say no. He will definitely give you the cold shoulder and no warm welcome tho. I think you should test that out for urself and see how that lies up. Honestly I did it. Friends were cool everybody giving warm welcomes..Cold reception from him. Did I do anything? Nope. What he was mad about? IDK… To him I invaded HIS space. When I was actually over there to see him in the first place! Which makes absolutely no sense!
If u are comfortable keeping your emotions in check then thats cool. Because that is what makes u feel safe. I feel nothing is wrong with that. PROTECT URSELF & UR HEART until ultimately your instincts and comfort level is stable enough to allow ur emotions to come out. IN MY OPINION, keep it at the same level for BOTH dudes. TRUST ME. It will work out for u in the END. It nice to see a Man emotional because it lets you know you are in CONTROL. I Am a Leo. We do like CONTROL in that DEPARTMENT. I do not like to feel vulnerable in that area (being honest) because then we feel NAKED.
PenGem, I can relate to you wanting some space for emotional distance, that is the very reason me and my Aqua clicked so well. I have the knack of attracting ppl that want to devour everything about me, they move so fast and it scares me because I love to be the free spirit I am. My Aqua understood me so well, he gave me tons of space and NEVER tried to reign me in. He used his mind and drew me in not with emotional intensity, but with logic and intellect and it was a refreshing change of pace. It made me think about things instead of feeling things and I am better for the experience. One thing about Aquas, whatever the outcome of the relationship, you always come away from the experience changed in some way or other. I have never dated a Cap so I cant contribute anything in that regard. Let the Aqua come to you, the more you try to get close to him without his permission, the more he runs away. If you like him, then you must realize that having a life of your own is the only way to survive any kind of relationship with an Aqua, they make better friends than lovers, but the road to finding out which one he will be is full of surprises, frustration, emptiness, anger, acceptance and pure joy. If you can handle that and more, keep seeing him, its worth it.
Aqua Lover,
What is ur sign again? I am interested in knowing y do they always say that the Aquas make better friends? I see that ALLLL the time. So who do they make out a better balanced relationship? Is there any sign out there for them? LOL. I kno its not their own tho because they wouldnt know if they even liked each other.
Pensive, I think that both signs are different in their own way and offer a lot. With an Aqua you will definitly get the space if you value privacy and also a chance to break out for some fresh air should you find the relationship stuffy ( granted that wouldn’t happen really since you and him are both air signs) but that random and free flowing part of the relationship comes at a cost, its never 100% absolutly solid because air signs change and move around so easily.
On the flip side with Mr. Cap, myself being a cap and also being the cappy guy for all info regarding the goat, you will find it may get sutffy for you tastes. Often caps move fast and percise almost calculating each step without realizing it. Because caps tend to want more more faster faster it can either scare of bring you closer. The cap will offer the stability and will want to lay the ground work for a stable and strong relationship, but the downside is these foundations are very deeply rooted. That being said, he will invest a good deal into the relationship because he will value you, and the relationship higher than anything else which is common cap thinking since everything has a value to us.
The cons about Mr.Cappy that you might want to look at, is we don’t take disrespect and games of the heart very easily which can make us very grudging and mistrusting. This means that you may be enjoying the double life at the moment, but if my.cap is unaware and finds out he may feel put down because he might have expected your undevided attention aswell, I have been in the same situatuion as mr.Cap and I walked away when I found out even if I was the victor. If he knows where he stands and continues to see you then thats great.
Compatability wise sun sign to sun sign, Aquarius and Gemini go very well together and run to the same rythm whereas Capricorn and Gemini need a constant conscious effort from both sides regularly to ensure everyone is on the same page.
Chris– the free flowing relationship does come at a cost and at this point I know myself enough to know that I need the space and freedom just a bit but I also need stability. It is very difficult to find that balance… I almost feel like I am asking for a lot…
Everything you said about Capricorn describes my Capricorn… he is very loyal, he doesn’t date around… he is sensitive and really does care and I definitely don’t want to hurt him… I can honestly say I am more concerned about hurting Mr. Cap’s feelings more so than the Aqua… However, both know that we are not committed to each other, that we are getting to know each other and since the Cap does have an Aqua moon, he seems to appreciate that I “go with the flow” as he says… There is so much in Mr Cap that I enjoy…
ChiCa–
“If u are comfortable keeping your emotions in check then thats cool. Because that is what makes u feel safe. I feel nothing is wrong with that. PROTECT URSELF & UR HEART until ultimately your instincts and comfort level is stable enough to allow ur emotions to come out. IN MY OPINION, keep it at the same level for BOTH dudes. TRUST ME. It will work out for u in the END.”
My mother is a Scorpio, my step Dad is a Virgo and my brother is a Cap… I love my family so much but as the Gemini, i’m the odd one in the bunch. It used to be difficult for me to claim my space, to let ppl know that I needed more time and emotional space than most without getting a guilt trip for it… it was hard to demand this at first because I grew up with ppl who didn’t understand that need… I’ve learned to balance my family’s need with mine and they’ve also learned to give me my space… i’ve learned to do the same in relationships and thats why this time around I am allowing myself to date, to get to know people, to get to know myself and what I want out of companionship… I think you are right– if I allow myself the time to get comfortable, I will be okay and it will all work out because I did things at my time and comfort level…
Aqualover– you made me laugh when you said “I have a knack for attracting ppl that want to devour everything about me” because I feel the same way! That’s why when we meet an Aqua its like -oh thank goodness!- because we’ve finally met someone that knows how to let us breathe! But like Chris said in his post, it comes at a cost because its almost TOO much space, TOO much detachment, which can honestly conflict when you are trying to connect with someone… I’ve probably said this a billion times but I am trying to find that balance… someone who understands that just because I want to get to know you, just because I want to hang out, doesn’t mean I want to get married or even talk about it… Maybe we need to go out looking for Libra’s…
PenGem, now you are talking…lol…I just met a Libra, just the right balance (no pun intended), Gives me my space, but checks in just enough to let me know he cares, so warm and charming, 2 good to be true (its early yet,lol)…
Chica, I’m a Cancer with my moon in Scorpio, with an Aries rising. My Venus is in Taurus. About what I said about Aquas being better friends than lovers, so far I see that its true, they love their friends and are open and engaging with them. They are totally opposite, I guess the logic is that they feel safer with a friend that they can keep at arm’s length than with a lover that is more intimate and expects to be close to them. I asked my niece who is an Aqua with Gem rising, who is her fav sign to date, she said hands down another Aqua. She said that they just know when to back off and don’t get pissed off if she doesn’t talk to them for weeks and dont expect her to be all gushy (her word) over sentimental things like anniversarys, birthdays, etc…my response? Are you sure ur not a Vulcan…hehehehe…I kid…
Wow…There is a lot to respond to on here. Aqua Lover, the opposite thing is true. Why is it that way? Then when we don’t acknowledge those things that they say they aren’t “gushy” over they kept upset. What is that about honestly? He got pissed when I didnt see him on his birthday for 2 weeks! I wasnt aware of it though until after because I was in my own world around that time.. But damn they make things seem so easy going like they dont care then BAM…they are mad at u. Confusin and complex sign to me. I have many Aqua friends that say they wouldn’t date themselves so ur niece sayin that about another Aqua is pretty interesting. Pensive Gemini…so what would ur decision is to do? I don’t know too much about Libra’s all I know is that they are very caring people and can be romantic.
AquaLover—Yea, thats pretty funny that your neice would say she’d only date another Aqua… is she dating anyone now?
ChiCa— I haven’t found a Libra yet so I’ll stick to my Aqua and Cap for now… I also have a crush on a Taurus (Aries cusp) at work but he’s such a Taurus, we only chit chat once and a while and I catch him looking at me from time to time but nothing else! My cancer rising finds his reserved demeanor so cute!
Pen Gem, nope she is taking a break from dating, she is always having relationship drama (I wonder why, lol). Taurus men are soooooo slow to act, but when they do, look out, they are stubborn and persistant. They are so refined. They make great husbands, stable and grounded, good providers. My Dad was a Taurus. Hope you have some new stories for us soon, I can’t wait to see what happens next.
Pensive,
I dated a Taurus. Make sure he isn’t all about his work. You will end up feeling neglected. I mean I am all about positive things and advice. They are great partners…VERY SEXUAL! But you have to be in tune with their brain and get them on a mental note first. Hope it works out you. I shall declare a prediction for you: You may fall for the Aquarian out of all three. Let me know if it happens!
Aqua Lover,
Are u in a relationship with someone? Yea Thats exactly how Taurus men are. Even when they kno that you are right. LOL STUBBBOOORRRNN!! It amazing nothing can change their mind. They have this thing that everyone around them are stupid in a sense and dont know what they are talking about. Then they think that whatever they think is for the better for the world. I have a very close friend that is a Taurus and that is exactly why we beef so much. But the man is practically the same and get irritatingly quiet. It so many things u have to pay attention to in astrology that it will make you and I DIZZY. I guess you would have to go after what you can TOLERATE. If you can tolerate: impatience, distance, aloofness, stubborness, un-yieldiness (if thats a word.) selfish personalities you can go for all those signs you say ur dating. Because all of them and I mean ALL have those traits. Aries are very imaptient, into what they are interested in and boring to me. My father is one and I can’t go anywhere with him for a long period of time (I tried) Always rushing to get somewhere all the time….
The last post is for u as well Pensive.
Actually at the moment I am happily single. I date alot, but no one really special lately. Last week almost everyone of my potentials either called me, texted me or emailed me and asked me for a date, I turned each one down and oh boy what arguments…even the most calm one of the lot (Taurus) got ugly with me, is it Venus going retro? Even my ex-husband called me up and asked me out to dinner (yikes he is an aries, I wisely turned him down). Maybe I’m waiting for something, I don’t know….
Wow. Thats interesting why did you turn ALL of them down? You just didnt want to go out?
Various reasons for each one, mainly I was tired from work and needed some time to recharge. Each and everyone gave me grief which I found odd because they are always so nice to me…sometimes us Cancers just retreat into our shell to redo ourselves, I’m hibernating at the moment, soon I will be ready (smiling).
Dang it! I just dont win! If its not the Detached Aquarius or the Predictable Capricorn its the stubborn Taurus! LOL I guess we all have our negative traits… I can’t help but find him cute… I used to attract fire sings like moths to a flame but lately its been Aqua afte Aqua and earth signs… interesting…
AquaLover– good for you, hibernate, do for you… I do the same all the time (cancer rising)– I take a break and redo myself… I need it! then I come back and I’m ready to be a Gemini again… yea, thats def venus in retro… I went to a club last Friday and ran into a guy I dated a year ago! Weird… but no calls for me… my friend said she received like 8 calls over the weekend from guys from her past… crazy!
ChiCa– funny that you say your Taurus ex was all about his work because this guy seems to NEVER get up from his cube! its like c’mon now, walk around, bump into me in the kitchen, say whats up, lol… i have to catch him on the elevator or something… I mean, I respect someone that is hard working, both my Cap and Aqua have two jobs and I feel bad sometimes how they overextend themselves because they are so exhausted, but it doesn’t bother me (not so far) because its a demonstration of what they are willing to do to reach their goals which I admire… then again, its only been a couple weeks not a couple years of this… I would think it does take its toll on you…
Lol..I felt like you too. It was like who do I win with? I definitely can be friends with Leo’s but not date another one. (I tried) too much for me. I mean I like affection and all but not TOO SOON. Its kinda like duuude I DONT KNO U WELL ENOUGH to be THAAT comfortable with you. Yea so I hope you take all those things you know and use it to you ability it will help you in the end. After all it doesnt hurt to think someone is cute! Look on girl….
Pensive, I have a similar situation, and I’d like your advice…
I’ve been talking to this Sagittarius guy for 1 year and 2 months. We started off messing around, but our relationship has developed, and we now have a strong friendship, along with an even stronger mental and physical attraction. We’re so good together. Everything is so relaxed when we’re around eachother, and we’re always in great conversation, or laughing our butts off at something stupid. The sex is amazing and very intimate all at once. We totally loose ourselves in the moment…true ectasy. I know in my heart that he is the one, and I know he definitely respects, admires, and likes me for who I am. There have been many things that we’ve experienced with eachother for the first time and he is very special to me (and I would same he thinks the same about me).
So what’s the problem, you ask? Timing, I guess. We’re both 2 young adults at the peek of our careers and schooling is currently each of our priorities. In addition to that, my schooling is in Florida and his is in New York (I met him in NY and then moved to FL), however, we do see eachother every other month. I go to NY and he goes to FL. Now, I recognize the fact that both of us being so busy with our school/careers could be a good thing, because we can relate to each other on that level, but at the same time, as a Sag/Cap, he has the ability of tunnel vision (Cap influence), and when he’s focused or going through something, everything and everyone goes out the window. To make things even worse, his Gemini moon causes him to disappear for periods of time. Now, I trust the fact that he is not talking to anyone else, but this does not sit well with my Cancer moon.
He mentioned the fact that when he’s ready to settle down, he’d like to do so with a woman like me and went as far as saying that in a few years, when he accomplishes his personal/career goals, he’d want us to be together. Where am I going with this? Well a year later, I am still not “his girl.” I can understand the fact that this may not be something he wants right now, as he needs to focus on his career, and he may not be able to provide me with the Leo attention and Cancer reassurance that I require. But at the same time, am I supposed to wait a few years till he’s ready for us to “get together?” A part of me is like “hell no! wait for noone, because you can miss out on other opportunities,” but the other part of me (maybe my Cancer moon and venus) feel as if I should wait, because I honestly believe he is worth it.
All in all, I haven’t protested our label-less relationship, because I do not plan on settling down for another 3/4 years, but what if in the end, it doesn’t work out as planned and I miss out on another person? Have I spoken to him about this? No, I haven’t because we are both comfortable with how things are, but I’m beginning to see the need for us to have the “where is this going?” conversation. Reason why, is because another determined Leo has entered the picture and things are moving faster than I expected.
Now, the Leo is not my ideal, but has struck all the right cords. It’s only been around for a month though, so I’m not crazy enough to jeorpardize a years worth of investment with the Sag for “the honey moon period,” but something tells me this honey moon period is going to last (Cancer intuition). Now, this Leo is also in Florida, so I recognize the fact that it may be the need for me to have someone around (it does get lonely), but even if I were in NY, the Sag is not the type to call everyday to say “good morning,” “good night,” or “how’s your day going?” He does periodically call to see how are things with me in general, but not as often as I’d like to hear from him. It sucks, because although I’m not entirely satisfied with how we are, I know things would be much better with time (He’s 25, so he still desires his Sag freedom. The Leo on the other hand is 34 and knows what he wants and knows how to get it).
The point of my long story here is that I get the feeling that things between the Leo and I are going to move at a rapid pace and I’m going to find myself in the position to make a real decision. The Sag and I have been honest with each other all this time, and I do not want to betray his trust (lie to a sag once and you’re done), but at the same time I do not want to lie to the Leo. He said to me, “I know it may be too soon to tell, but I have high expectations for you…don’t let me down,” am I believe him. Us Leos are go getters.When we want something, there is no stopping us until we get it. Both are very charming, intellegent, good people and I’m baffled at what I am supposed to do. This scares me to death, because if it were the other way around, and the Sag were telling me this, I’d be heart broken. I know this is not something he’d expect from me, but I’m just trying to do the right thing. I just hope I don’t loose him too, if things don’t work out with the Leo.
What I want you guys take on, is whether I should explain my situation to the Sag, and ask the famous question “Where is this going?” or should I just keep my mouth shut and not say anything at all (in which case, not only am I betraying the Sag, but the Leo as well). Should I make him aware of the fact that there is someone else out there I find appealing (the sag is my ideal, but the Leo is currently providing)? Will he hold it against me, if I tell him there is someone else, and things don’t work out, and want to go back to him? or will this situation cause him to actually make me his girl? Should I take the risk?
Should I be sincere with Sag?
Ahh, you have met someone! The plot thickens!
It is really difficult to watch your ideal stand before you, touch them and not be sure how much longer you will get to enjoy them. Especially for independent, thinking folk who always filter their emotions through the funnel of reality. Why can’t we just give it all up for love?!
You met your Sag and while you would prefer to have the security of knowing that he’s in this with you, you also know that it could get messy being that you both have so much going on right now, so much that you NEED to have going on for you right now. But you still need the emotional connection, don’t you? You say you are worried about whether or not you will end up together. My hypothesis is that he’s getting all the emotional connection he needs from you, but the real problem is that you are not getting all the emotional connection you need from him. You’re scared because you’ve met someone who could change all your (Cancer) plans and because you know that there is nothing you can do to change the fact that you are both working really hard to get to five years later when you can concentrate and dedicate time and emotions on each other.
I don’t think you are doing anything wrong by seeing someone else. In fact, you are doing the realistic thing by not holding on to something that isn’t yours (or his) to have yet. I think you should talk to your Sag and tell him how much he means to you. It seems like you are open enough with each other to speak about how you feel about each other. But I would suggest you do it with one thing in mind— you have nothing to lose. And I wouldn’t say to do it in the effort to get something out of it, to get him to change his mind, etc, because nothing can change the fact that you are both so busy and so far away, I honestly think a relationship would mess up the connection. But I am suggesting that you open to him because it is necessary that he know that for however long he gets to know you, however long he gets to have you in his life or in his memory, that he left an impression on you, that he means so much to you. Maybe I’m not helping you solve your dilemma but I think that at the very least, being open about what he means to you will in some way tie you to him forever. Maybe it’s the romantic in me but I think it’s realistic enough to say that he will never forget you; I don’t think you can forget someone who’s seen you in such a light, in the way you’ve always wanted to see yourself.
You may wonder where all this emotion came from but your situation reminded me of my last Aqua, my soul mate Aqua who I had to let go because of the same issue—timing. I didn’t get to tell him to his face exactly what I felt. I did share a poem I wrote for him, I did tell him I had feelings, I remember his birthday and reach out for him from time to time, but we didn’t talk about our feelings or our future or the possibilities like you and your Sag do. So if you have the connection with him, say something. I think it is also the only way you’ll be able to move forward with your Leo without feeling like you have unfinished business with your Sag.
Thanks pensive,
My heart is definitely telling me to say something, but I just needed to hear it from someone else. What scares me,is the fact that the only reason I’m thinking about doing this is, because of the potential this Leo has. Had this guy not come into the picture, I’d be perfectly alright with our label-less relationship.
Again, the Leo isn’t my ideal, but there’s something about him that doesn’t allow me to push him away (like I’ve done with other guys, b/c of Sag). I want to be fair and I wouldn’t want to hurt the Leo too. It would be horrible of me to be with the Leo for 2/3 years, then Sag comes and say, “I’m ready, we’re officially together,” and then for me to drop the Leo to go with the Sag, because that’s how important our connection is to me.
Knowing my Sag as well as I do, I know that he will not be happy with the fact that I’m even considering talking to someone else. He has me on the highest pedestal,saying, “I think I found a needle in a haystack,” so this situation would come out of left field for him. I agree with you when you say that a relationship may mess up the connection, but I don’t want to feel like we’re stagnate and this is all it will ever be.
On the same note, should I tell the Leo about the Sag? Ugh! I don’t know…I just don’t know…
WateryFire–
No, no, don’t tell anyone anything. This is something you need to figure out for yourself. I understand how much you care for your Sag and how much he cares about you, but if he is unable to provide consistant companionship, then he can’t hold you back from finding it with someone else. That’s why i suggested talking to him and letting him know how much you care, that way you try to maintain a friendship or at the very least understand and respect each others feelings and needs. Sometimes ppl come in to our lives that we dont expect to but there is always something we can learn from them. Maybe the Leo is in your life for a reason, why should you miss out on that?
ChiCa-
I try to talk to him, getting emotions out of my Cap is like squeezing a dried out lemon. I agree definitely with the allure part, he’s very.. enticing. But I so want to keep away from him, his allure doesn’t come close to what I feel for my Cap. The Aqua knows, and he still persists.
PensiveGemini-
I’ve been with my cap for almost 7 months, maybe it’s the Seven month itch. I’m not sure, I think if I had more attention from my current boyfriend I wouldn’t seek for something more. But it’s not his fault, I just expect alot, it’s something I need to work on.
I have a question for you, almost every single compatibility I read between Capricorn and Gemini are “doomed for disaster”, and yet I have such a connection with mine, you are another example! What do you think about this?
JimNi–
Sun signs are very important but the rest of someones chart should be considered in my experience… for example, I’m a Gemini and he’s a Cap but our moons are both in Aquarius so we both understand this need for emotional space (we’re both kinda quirky, too and pretty silly) and we like to do our own thing… I have a Cancer rising whose opposite sign is Capricorn which means for better or for worse, I’m going to be attracted to Capricorns… once you start learning about astrology, things start to click and it becomes unbelievably interesting!
You can also go to Sasstrology’s resource page (http://www.sasstrology.net/resources) to find out more!
“its like a child disobeying a parent, just to see how far they can go”
I like that. Interesting
Pensive Gemini. I know of Capricorn Gemini relationship that lasted for 11yrs.
Wow JimNi…
A persistent Aqua.. Never met one who was willing to go the extra mile to get you..Hmmm very interesting.