What to do when your Scorpio man cheats
December 11, 2008 by Jeffrey Kishner
What do you do when any man cheats on you? Either kick him to the curb or work things out. If you choose to stay, it’s wise to find out why your Scorpio man betrayed you.
Was his infidelity due to a character flaw that he has to address on his own, or was it a symptom of your relationship? Either way, you need to get to the bottom of the issue — in true Scorpionic fashion — to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
You’re not meeting his needs, or he’s just a sex fiend
Scorpio men need lots of sex. All men needs lots of sex, in fact, but Scorpio needs a certain kind. He wants to explore power issues in the bedroom (or wherever else you “do it”), experience a profound emotional connection during the act, or at the very least, have an intense sexual experience. If you are not open to this type of sex-play — or if you can’t withstand eye contact while you’re tipping over the edge — then your Scorpio may not feel satisfied.
Or maybe he’s just a sex addict, and his going behind your back has nothing to do with you. Scorpio can be compulsive (remember, his modern ruling planet is Pluto) and his actions may be driven by a deep psychological wound that needs more than a Band-Aid. Unless he’s willing to go to therapy or a 12-Step group (or utilize some other psychospiritual healing modality), he’s gonna keep doing what he’s doing.
And a third option is that he cheated on you to get back at you for hurting him.
What’s self-respect got to do with it?
You’re hurt, I know. Some of your friends will tell you to leave him no matter what, that to stay is to be a doormat. No matter how much you love him or think you can’t live without him, you have to let him go lest you communicate (to him, yourself, the Universe) that you’re not worthy of respect.
Others will tell you that you should forgive but not forget. Be more accommodating to his sexual needs, or be proactive and get him professional help. Or go into couples counseling. If you two love each other deeply enough, any obstacle can be surmounted. We’re only human!
Is there hope?
Scorpio can be fixed in his ways, and may stubbornly stick to behaviors that pay off. However, natives of this sign have the capacity to radically transform their ways of being, undergoing a death-rebirth process to approach the whole arena of sexuality in a more profoundly intimate manner. However, to use a familiar 12-step phrase, he may have to “hit bottom” to be willing to change. Sometimes the threat of separation can be the spark that sets the regenerative fires burning, but your Scorpio’s threshold for pain is not in your control. Just do what’s best for you.
Related posts:
- How to know when a Scorpio doesn’t love you
- Do Scorpios get over their exes?
- Should you trust a Scorpio man on blind faith?
Comment below: Did your Scorpio cheat on you? And if so, what did you do?
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I bet they masturbate a lot because they are always ready. therefore caught in akward situations often and then they can’t lift their eyes, it is guilt. I saw one example. I would not call them sex addicts though, they have enormous self-control and very loyal. But passion is the strongest, yes, and when they stare at you – it is a disaster – love and hell and smile in one penetrating gaze. My heart jumps out, and I become disoriented. But when they touch you – it is electricity beyond sensations. You have no other choice by surrender. I bet they think about sex more than others, yet, they are gentlemen more than others. Go figure. I love their ability to keep secrets, be descreet.
I’m somewhat bemused by the title of this post. It’s “when” he cheats, not “if”. I guess our rap really is that bad.
My experience is that scorp males do look for an intense connection but it isnt emotional..its purely sexual. They hide the emotional part of themselves away and use sex IN ITS PLACE. They like the intense buzz and chemistry of new relationships… so might even convince THEMSELVES they love you for a minute but sex does not equate with love and sex does not sustain a long term relationship either…. therefore the intense emotion that drew them to you, draws them elsewhere as well.
In short, they are about as deep as pond scum and they cheat in a never-ending desire to maintain that first love giddiness. If your desire is for a lifelong relationship and he’s cheated….never, ever go back to a scorp male.
@scorpionights – I didn’t mean that it’s inevitable…
eh, jeffrey…i think it was pretty accurate as stated the first time…
it is WHEN not IF….
all of you disappoint me now
Way to add to scorpio central!
And why does it always have to be about the scorpio male?
because men cheat more than women do. However, how about adding more discussions on how to make a Scoripio or Aries or Whateever sign woman happy? Shall we?
I don’t think men cheat more than women, I think they just get caught much more easily!
ScorpioNights – Could be that, yes. Women are more clever at hiding things, maybe.
But again – if such loyal sign as Scorpio cheats, what to expect from the rest?
True, I read some statistic that women cheat as much as men.
I don’t cheat. Q: Is emotional infidelity also infidelity? It is worse than physical infidelity? If a married woman, while being in bed with her husband thinking about another man, isn’t that the worst! Heavy stuff, hard to control. Its just has to come and go. Nothing you can do when someone enters your heart and takes your soul. But trhere is a reason why it happens. I was emotionally unfaithful to my ex-husband, because he didn’t fulfil my emotional needs, mental connection wasn’t there, and sex alone was a cold soup. So I started to dream about another man. because I need it, it is another world.
I’m a Scorpio and I’ve never cheated, even when I’ve really really wanted to. Sticking to my word and keeping my karma clean are much more important to me than scratching a temporary itch.
Scorpionights – I am so proud of you and I am glad you said that. I always say that Scorpios have best integrity and very loyal. I want to marry one for another reason also.
I have a confession. I have cheated, on a Cancer man, with a Scorpio man. When a scorpio sees something it wants, there just isn’t a lot that can be done to stop it. Especially where another scorpio and a whole lot of lust is concerned. *I can resist everything except temptation*
There are all kinds of things I could say in my own defense, but for sure it was just wrong and I would never do it again.
Not to tarnish that reputation for integrity or anything, if anything it’s that pesky venus in Sag……
That’s my bit of guilty scorpio truth for the records. :S
Love confessions like that. Big plus. Truth is the best. Jeffrey, how about you? It is a full moon night, what else do we have to do?! well?
im a scorp woman and have never cheated and will never cheat. i wont. for any reason. i couldnt if you tied me down and forced me. it is ingrained into who i am.
My ex was a scorp and cheated. and lied profusely. and hid. among other things. i think generally the women scorps i know are more loyal than men…and the ones you find that are NOT loyal are pretty open about it…. the women are just different than the men…same intensity,but we use our power in a PROFOUNDLY different way than the men.
That’s a pretty bad scorp you found yourself Ashley. The one I cheated with I ended up staying with for a year and half, until at last I could not take his insane sex drive. He never cheated on me though. Not all of them are like that, even if the title of this post suggests otherwise…. o.o
And I know… a scorpio that couldn’t keep up…. Might say I bit off more than I could chew lol. I blame mars in Libra – a more tender lover underneath it all
I actually happen to know many Scorpios. For some reason many of my male friends fall under this sign and from my previous posts you might know I am dating a Moon in Scorpio guy.
I am sure they are all somewhat different due to other planetary placements but I have heard one say to his girlfriend who had accused him of cheating that he couldn’t have casual meaningless sex even if he tried and she should know that by now.
Another one has been married three times and he always thinks its “the one”
There is only one out of the many that I know that I know has cheated and another who didnt cheat physically but carried on a not so pg rated friendship with someone as far as flirting via email that the girlfriend found out about, another Scorpio friend’s girlfriend laughs off how secretive he is. She always says that he’s secretive about meaningless little things that there is no reason to keep secret.
Two of the others seem to be carrying torches for people that have gone out of their lives (one never even dated the person), I’m not sure if any of these characteristics are typical of a male Scorpio (or Scorpio in general) but these are the ones I know
BTW all of these Scorpios that I know are November ones I don’t know any October born ones at all and for as bad a rep as Scorpios get out of all those that I know only one has cheated, and I wouldn’t really call the others flirts or ladies men at all and a couple of them are very good looking
sorry this is so long, but I thought I’d share
Yes, women cheat less. Jeffrey, your statistics is wrong. Sorry, but true. we are more loyal and more complex and more forgiving. Men are basic by nature: food, sleep, sex, newspaper, football. Nothing is wrong with it, but cheating is normal for most, but if their wive cheats – boy! they think it is wrong – boom – scandal! Double standard, always was, always will be. For all those hurt women out there – don’t worry, everything comes back to balance – stay as you are, fauthful and honest, you will get more good points from above. MOre good things will happen to you. Of cours,e it is up to all of you what to do when you find out when your friend/husband is cheating – that is up to you. Many men have an extra X chromosome (genetics) which manifests in difficulty controling impulses, including sexual adventures. So, hell with it! Feel sorry for them and that’s that! Smile and walk away, if you can’t forgive and forget. Enjoy your life and value better things in life. Don’t let men’s infidelity put in your chest
I was going to say, don’t let men’s infidelity put a hole in your chest.
sammi i think the common thread even in your scorp males is they are all idealizing the relationship with the woman whether it be sexual or romantic…to a level of an incredible fantasy….and that is a very scorpionic thing
mine cheated by falling “in love” with a woman he knew only via phone coversations for about two weeks… because he FELT it was over with me, then in his mind it was okay to be with her and it wasnt cheating (didnt matter that we were still married and living together, and in his mind it was perfectly okay to lie to BOTH of us to manipulate what he wanted out of the situation)…. and he also cheated in purely sexual ways too …. but that was okay because “he was bored” and then after those i think he just said to hell with it if i feel it i’ll do it no matter what it does to my wife….
i think it comes down to whether a person is capable of empathy, and of the pain they cause others… or whether they are self serving and would rather lie to protect their own interests and do for themselves.
That is now the key characteristic i look for in a person,and frankly i think the lying cheating ones are far less common than the ones who lack empathy… ive just been looking the wrong places
I do think scorpio men can use their scorpionic traits to become the lying cheating kind easier than many other signs…. but they could also use them to become a devoted loving mate. I dont think that one can CHANGE from the lying cheating kind INTO a devoted mate however. It is morals and ethics that are ingrained into who you are and you either have it or you dont. My ex clearly did not.
oops i meant to say the lying cheating ones are far less common than the ones who HAVE empathy.
Scorpio men cheat less than other sings. Let’s give them a break please. I will defend them.
I have not a lot of experience, because I was only in two big relationships, tha last one of which was marriage, but I have only one experience with a Scorp man. I like one Scorpio man, he has integrity and he is a gentleman. I want him to be in my life as a friend or lover, or both. You need to fully accept one and understand one.
larisa i think its admirable that you love your scorp and want it to work and believe he is loyal to you…however dont take this discussion personally ….it doesnt mean ALL scorps are less likely to cheat because of your one experience….i also dont think my bad experience means all scorps are MORE likely to cheat either. thats not what anyone is saying…
i dont think anyone can make that blanket statement unless theyve done a scientific study….
i would only argue that my experience is that scorp men in general like to fantasize (romantically or sexually) and that the separate personality trait of empathy and selflessness will sway them into being cheaters or not …..
Sammi, i posted before that we can connect to talk about things..discuss mirror effect (your friend and me) you can give me somehow your email, and I will find you. thru facebook.
i think it depends on the scorpio man (or indeed, woman) in question. neither my (scorpio) man, nor i, would ever cheat on each other.
but i really loved the part about “experience a profound emotional connection during the act, or at the very least, have an intense sexual experience. If you are not open to this type of sex-play — or if you can’t withstand eye contact while you’re tipping over the edge — then your Scorpio may not feel satisfied.” because its reassuring to know there are obviously more people out there who want exactly that
but that doesnt mean we would cheat if we didnt get it! no point getting it from someone not worthy, not the one …
see, the good thing about us scorps is that we are very idealistic romantically.
I have no solution, but I admire your problem.
Hmmm. So if men really do cheat more than women, does that mean that the women who do cheat, cheat more often and with more people than the men who cheat? Are there still people out there willing to automatically concede the moral high ground to one gender over the other? Mind if I just throw a hand grenade into this conversation and then run away?
Find a higher purpose than talking about this over and over. Funny. One step forward, two steps back…. Who cares about cheaters? Insecure ones do.
Matthew Currie, might i just say i adore you.
PEOPLE cheat, darlings, not just men, not just women.
I have a Scrpio Bf and he is a major pain in my arse. He is mysterious and shifty . i have his email passwords and his facebook and he just flirts with women , leaving comments and i know he has absolutely no intention of follow through. i’ve seen women who flirted back heavily, then asking later why he ignoures them. some Scorpios need secrets, i guess. he hAS NO IDEA I KNOW. IT WOULD KILL HIS ASS :p
I hum along, like i have no clue. we see each other all the time and he calls me constantly.. but who knows if he does really cheat.
My take on the whole thing is i will be faithfull, i will shoot down in flames any man who disrespects my 4 year relationship. if my Scorpio cheats and i find out…i leave him. that’s all. that’s it, folks. i’ll be able to sleep at night too, knowing that i conducted my self in an impeccable fashion.
I continue to give him his solitute when he needs it, sex always on tap, fabulous food and sparkling conversation.
If he messes this up ? what a fool !
L
Crabcake,
Are you not cheating on your man (in a sense) by knowing all his passwords and cyber stalking his actions?
Are you not doing yourself an injustice by turning a blind eye to a man’ behaviour that is directly flirting, insighting interest in women?
I guess it boils down what you are prepared to put up with. Cheating is so much more than dipping the wick!
I guess it’s the $64million question- what is actual cheating?
Every Signs cheats! Does matter what sign you are. I think why so many are hook on scorpio as a big cheater cause of they’re ability to be so secretive and mysterious about their life. Which is hard you to detect when they are cheating.
Hey girls let me let you what.
I finally got the truth.
I might say something that maybe u guys might not want to hear.
But here is it:
He cheated me and i only get to know today after i beg for the answer so much.
The answer which i have the rights to know yet he keep making me guess like s***.
I begged like s***.
I sincerely hope you ppl rethink abt having relationship with them.
Like some of you all said.
You thought based on the horoscope they shd be loyal.
Be good to them, they will “pay” back in return by giving u all the love.
BUT YOU ARE DEADLY WRONG!
I just get to learn it thru the hard way, realising the true fact:
no matter what and how, you can never win them.
Somehow and i really duno why, they just always have the ability and fate to win.
Seriously, we non-scorpios are no match with them.
Admit defeated.
—————————————-
How did he lied:
While we are tgt for 7 months just beocs of one incident i accused him, he when to sex with a girl who is totally a stranger.
And i only get to know until today.
I always believe him, trusting him so much.
Come to think of it, i smiled:
i am stupid.
*sad*
So im glad to to see everyone puts emotion in what they write but sometimes a calculated and educated guess is needed. And it seems a double standard is here. And it seems that somoenes having there own conflictions. And to win a scorpio. We can be won. Its just going to take a different approach. Besides mybe he diddnt want you aqurius.
Love to a scorp is like air. Without feelin or experiencing there cant b none. We fantise too often cuz for all our seriousness comes the i can deal with the way it is, theres more to life than this. We want commited wild passione intense deep relationship bt we dont always like what we get. Theirs no inbetween we expect too much of our selves , we expect too much from others.
Im a virgo and i dont find this true. my ex bf (also a virgo) and I were always at it like rabbits LOL. my scorpio can only go at it once every two days. He simply cant keep up. hes also the one who’s asked for a divorce now after bringing some random “friend” into our house around our kids and let her sleep in my childs bed!
is it just me? or should guests be in the LIVING ROOM and NOT a bedroom?
my scorpio strayed a bit after the birth of our daughter – so I was alone with my newborn and my 15 month old. we built a business together and then i find logs that he’s telling some random girl he met online that he was going to go visit her in her city and stay at his uncles place there! so I said no more – now he’s complaining that I didnt “support” him enough in his business (why would I help build up a business so he could go spend money on homewreckers … yes she KNEW about me! … instead of spending it on his family?)
I ended up talking to her and asking her to stay away – turns out she was really nice but had some abuse issues as a child. but she did indeed stay away. (i face the problem head on instead of secetly fuming!) the stupid thing is He went to her And told her WHY he couldnt talk to her anymore! why would SHE need t know?! he only knew her for a few weeks! she doesnt need an explination IIII do!
if I re-marry again it will be a virgo or a gemini . NEVER will I go with a scorpio again they irritate me too much! lol.
I have never gotten along with scorpio women because they lie and backstab (no offence I just stand for honesty and loyalty) I thought scorpio men may be different but nope. (as I know other signs the men/women are different and also depending on the month like may taurus is more fashionable and april taurus has more tomboy appeal)
Anyways – scorpios are not even that great in bed (virgos on the other hand … *hubba hubba* … and no im not conceited I actually mean the men I’ve been with lol for some reason its just been a lot of virgos, scorpios and pisces … and from everyone i talked to they loved their virgo men – they’re really unforgetable!)
I agree with Anon lol. But for scorpio man, yes they cheat a lot. Every one I’ve met has. They can separated sex with feelings and will feel with one person totally emotionally yet continue to have sex other woman just for the sake of the addiction. they are TERRIBLE when they get caught…watch out and don’t say I didn’t warn you about it now lol