Single By Sign: An Astrological Approach to the Single Life (Part One: Aries – Virgo)
November 18, 2008 by Laura F. Walton
Whether by choice, by accident, or by virtue of a woefully shallow dating pool, most of us find ourselves partnerless at some point in our lives.
Chances are, you’ve been there — perhaps your great new beau suddenly turns psycho, and you’re forced to exit as gracefully as stalker protection laws allow. Or better yet, you wake up one morning to find the sweetest “Dear John/Joan/Sorry, But I Can’t Quite Remember Your Name” text you could ever hope to read, blinking hopelessly from your nightstand. No matter how it happens, it happens to the best of us. Welcome, dear friends, to the single life.
Once you get past the pity-party-for-one phase of your singlehood — which you haven’t fully embraced until you gain five pounds just for spite — you may as well start making the most of it. Different Sun signs approach singlehood in different ways; in this article, we’ll take a look at a few tactics that are sure to optimize your non-attachment experience. Batteries not included.
The Single Aries: You guys do better than others at the singles game; you tend to bounce back quickly from even the hairiest breakups. It takes a real heartbreak to do more than temporarily squelch the fiery Arian ego and enthusiasm. However, some Arians might find themselves wallowing a bit, especially at first. If this is the case, there are remedies.
First and foremost, get out of the house. Everyone gets this advice, but for Aries, it actually works. Find a new challenge, preferably a nonromantic one like learning a new dance style or climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. There’s nothing more intriguing to the opposite sex than someone who’s obviously on a mission.
Arians do best when they get on with an active life of their own, and wait for the next round of potentials to catch up. “Talk to me, I’m desperate!” doesn’t look good on you at all.
The Single Taurus: You poor Bull, you! All that effort, and now you’re on your own again; sometimes love hardly seems worth it. Taureans don’t always take their new single status well, and a slightly prolonged self-pity phase might be appropriate. But don’t linger here forever; the pleasures of being single are real, and you can’t enjoy them without an open mind.
Pamper your friends more than usual. Don’t deny yourself the sensual pleasures you love so much — good food, good wine, cozy evenings at home — just because you don’t have a steady mate. A close circle of friends can share all of this with you, plus commiseration and backrubs, too.
You might even try the casual dating thing too, eventually. Dating games, such as speed dating and singles dinners, may not seem your style, but you could have fun with them if you put yourself in the right frame of mind. Remember: you have only yourself to answer to now, so there’s no need to compromise. Make it your duty to enjoy yourself, no matter what anyone else does or doesn’t do.
The Single Gemini: What, Gemini, single? How did that happen? If you don’t have at least two spares waiting in the wings, you’re probably not really a Gemini at all.
I’m kidding, sort of. While many Twins do indeed cultivate multiple flirtationships, it’s sometimes tough for you to weather a breakup. That strange insecurity of yours could drive you to prematurely reattach, simply because you hate to be alone. Don’t do it, Gemini. If you instantly attach to one of your admirers just because they’re available, you’ll probably live to regret it. Again.
Have fun with being single. Get to know yourself (or yourselves) better. Take yourself on dates to places you’ve always wanted to go; treat yourself to a Guerilla Knitting course on Tuesday and a posh dinner and a show on Friday. Trust me — once you get used to relating to yourself, you’ll find your own company more stimulating that any five of those “just there” flirt partners. You’ll make a better choice in the end.
The Single Cancer: Crabs are funny about singlehood — it’s hard on them, and they bitch about it constantly, but they also perpetuate it longer than is strictly necessary. It’s tough for Cancer to just date, to have a good time checking out the possibilities; too often, you fall into an “all or nothing” mindset when a little more flexibility would serve you better.
Try a bit of window-shopping, so to speak. One dinner-and-a-movie doesn’t need to mean anything. Let your friends hook you up with blind dates; if nothing else, you’ll accumulate some hilarious stories to share with the next Mr. or Ms. Right.
Whatever you do, try to find a point of balance between protecting your still-tender feelings and hiding yourself away. You shouldn’t expect to bounce back instantly — you’re too sensitive for that — but “single” can become a habit that’s hard to break. Take a few calculated risks. You’ll be proud of yourself for doing it.
The Single Leo: Like Aries, you rarely take the single life lying down. You certainly prefer being partnered, yes, but when the time comes to go it alone, you spend a few days licking your wounds, and then get on with the rest of your fascinating life. You go, Leo!
In fact, you’re probably better equipped than the rest of the zodiac to handle the drama of dating life. It’s fun for you to woo new possibilities—think of it as auditioning them for a co-starring role — and nobody does it like Leo. You wine them, dine them, and shower them with classy gifts; you know in your heart that you’ll only be single as long as you decide to be single. Your confidence is ultra-attractive.
However, be careful of going overboard. Sometimes Leo overreacts to the ego-bruising of a breakup by developing an artificially swelled head. Confidence is attractive. Defensive arrogance isn’t.
The Single Virgo: If you’re a newly single Virgo, here’s your first mantra: my exes are my exes for a reason. Repeat this ten times per day for the first thirty days, and you’ll get past your first Virgo-specific obstacle: the overwhelming temptation to get back together with one of your old flames.
Virgo shares with Gemini the same sort of Mercury-induced emotional insecurity that leads to hasty commitments. Unlike Gemini, though, you’re prone to dipping back into the past for a little relief in the present. Try to resist the urge to drag out the old address book and start dialing. We both know you won’t be happy until you’re somewhat partnered up again, but try to extend your dating efforts into the future.
Co-workers and friends-of-friends are a good bet for you. It’s usually better to pick from among your current circle than to jump out into the great wide unknown; however, many Virgos find success with internet dating. Meantime, use your free time to cultivate a neglected hobby. It sounds cheesy, but it works.
About the Author
Laura F. Walton is a writer, artist, and arts instructor based in Texas. She has been a practicing astrologer for nearly ten years; she specializes in areas of sexuality, individuality, and creative self-discovery. She has contributed forecasts for print media, and currently provides monthlies on her blog Astro What?
Related posts: Are you better off being single? (The Series)
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Bwah, I’m a Taurus (one planet in Cancer), but I act more like Cancer in this regard. I sulk for YEARS after a dumping. (Pathetic, really, but Venus Saturn will do that to ya.)
@Laura, How about “Single by Planet”? Although I’ve been in a LTR for my adult life, I know that whenever I feel alone/rejected (sexually/romantically/friendwise) I go into major Pluto mode.
I had never read anywhere up until now that is that Virgos tend to go back to their Exs if they’re single/lonely.
What’s the astrological rationale for this? Or is it just your personal observation?
i think this is gr8 and cant wait for part II :0)
@ Jennifer: I know just how you feel! I have the Cancer ascendant, though, which is the perfect excuse
@ Jeff: That’s an interesting idea, and I can certainly see it…I go to either Saturn or Mercury, inevitably. I either sulk and get depressed and harsh, or stay on the phone/text/net constantly, flirting and gossiping like a madwoman. Hmm….
@ Gauri: You always ask such good questions! My rationale behind the Virgo delineation is based partially on personal observation, and partially on the nature of the Virgo/Pisces axis as I see it. There are real security issues, dealing mainly with identity/projection, along this axis; Virgos tend to feel they’ve lost a bit of themselves, in a way, when a breakup happens. All signs do, of course, but the Virgo/Pisces axis sees it differently– it’s really a part of themselves they’re losing, if that makes sense.
Falling back to a previously secure position, at least temporarily, is very tempting for this sign; the Mercury influence sometimes even results in using this as a conscious strategy. Mercury is not above knowingly snuggling up to a sure thing, just long enough or often enough to gain the confidence it takes to venture into riskier territory. The Mercury ego is very fragile, and combined with the Virgo/Pisces axis influence, needs tons of safety and reassurance….
Honestly…. I don’t know if I express my taurus sun more or my aries venus (taurus’s dispositor). But you are right. I do have a long self-pity period. I just tried so hard.
Wow thats definately true about me its taken me OVER a year to completley get over my ex!! And i had never been so heartbroken over a guy before.. And i do as a virgo have a tendency to want to go back and change the past but like you said : “your ex is your ex for a reason” So i had to find the strength deep down inside to let him go.