Good transits for cheating
September 10, 2008 by Jeffrey Kishner
Other posts on this blog suggest that infidelity is a character flaw associated with your Sun sign, but the truth is that cheating requires a trigger, whether that be unhappiness in the marriage or being in the wrong situation at the wrong time, under the influence of the wrong substance.
I will straight out say that I am against infidelity and that I believe a cheater lacks a certain degree of empathy for their partner. Yet I also understand that humans are, well, human. I’m both judgmental and sympathetic.
Beyond Sun sign stereotypes
It is, of course, reductionistic to say that a particular Sun sign is more apt to cheat than any other sign. We are all complex individuals. Everyone has all the celestial bodies in their natal chart, making all manner of angles to each other.
Yet even if you have an “astrological signature” for a cheater (if such a thing exists), it is but a potential. You could throw in an urge for independence, a dash of deception and a sprig of compulsivity, and Outer Planet Soup is served — but the secret ingredient for infidelity is Will.
That’s Will as in “Fate versus free –,” for do we not have to take personal responsibility for our actions? We are not automatons. Even as an astrologer, I do not believe we are puppets. (But maybe all that makes me is a modern astrologer.)
Let’s assume that we all have a varying degree of “cheater” in our charts, whether acted on or not. We can divide ourselves into two groups:
- Those who just cheat. These folks are simply not cut out for monogamy. This could be due to sex addiction or an inability to conform to this model of relationship. If you’re polyamorous, you are making a lifestyle choice to not limit yourself to one lover or partner. This is an honest path. However, to refuse to be monogamous after having made marriage vows or committing to monogamy with a partner is dishonest.
- Folks who may feel cheating is wrong, and who are not sexually compulsive (meaning that they feel more-or-less in control of their sexual activity).
Let’s just focus on the second group. (If it sounds like I am saying, “Let’s just focus on the good people, not the pathological types,” it’s not that simple. I think folks in the first group either need addiction/psychological treatment or just need to be honest with themselves that they are not one-person people.)
How do you then tease out the issue of personal responsibility from the trigger of transits/progressions/arcs? If, say, transiting Uranus squares your natal Mars and you have impulsive sex with a colleague in the office supply room, does this say anything about the state of your relationship, or your level of integrity as a human being, or how much self-control you have? Because you can’t just blame your actions on Uranus, can you?
When you have a transit* making a hard aspect (like an opposition or square) to an important point in your chart, energy that has built up over time needs to be released through an action. If you are going through challenging times in a long-term relationship and can see a correspondence with a transit, then the question to ask yourself is, “When the transiting planet aspects my natal point for the last time (assuming it went retrograde over the point), how do I want to see this problem resolved?” Do you consciously take action to improve your relationship, or do you release the tension by having an affair? Or do you just push the energy underground and get depressed?
What do you do with your energy?
The ethical thing to do is use the crisis period in a relationship to look at the roots of the problem. A band-aid approach will only calm things down until the next time a sensitive point in your chart is triggered. What you really need to do is have a deep talk or going into couples counseling.
However, some problems in a marriage do not have an easy solution. What if you’re into kink and your partner isn’t, and opening the relationship is not an option? Or if you have vastly different sex drives? Or if you feel so unattractive in your partner’s eyes that it would take years of reprogramming to make the shift to feeling desired?
Sometimes, a transit is just what is needed to make it clear that there is no hope. This is when some relationhips end for the better. Yet in other relationships, these same transits may simply indicate that there’s a “bump in the road” that needs to be smoothed out to make the journey more pleasurable.
What are good transits for cheating?
Those readers who have cheated in the past and have an awareness of what transits (or other timing indicators) corresponded with their infidelities … please share your insights below. Feel free to be anonymous if you are typically someone who posts under your blogger profile.
And whether or not you follow your transits, please answer the following poll. (You can substitute “I blame it on astrology” with “I note a correspondence between my infidelity and astrology” if you want to take responsibility for your past actions.)
Related post: Libra, the marriage contract, and unrealistic expectations
* A transit occurs when a planet that is currently moving through the sky makes an angle (typically divisible by 30 degrees) to a point in your natal chart, like a planet or the Ascendant-Descendant or Midheaven/IC axis.
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I was trapped in a love less, sex less, emotionally abusive marriage with a man who refused to come for counseling and who refused to change. Then one day he told me that if I wanted 'love', I needed to find myself another man, because he was never going to give it to me. I knew in that instant that the marriage was irreparably broken. Years of suppressed anger & grief came roaring back. But before I officially left him, I wanted to take him up on his 'suggestion' and teach him a lesson. So I had an extra marital relationship. And then I left him.
I'm not sure how it all ties in with astrology/transists.
I had to do some major psychological work later on to come to terms with what I had done, not to mention the loss of my marriage. So looking back I know it wasn't worth it to teach him a lesson and I would never do it again. I'm not that type of person and it ruined me emotionally and spiritually to have done something like this.
I take responsibility for my actions. I don't want to blame anyone or anything else for the choices I made.
I wouldn’t worry a bit about the extra marital. I’ve done it myself out of anger first. First it felt bad, but later it gave me the confidence to hook up with other guys. I even went to the extend dating 2 men within a week. It was fun and exiting. Later I decided that I should be happy just by myself. Suddenly an old friend came into my life I used to find attractive. Now for the past 5 months am in a relationship with him. I feel woman again, honey!
There is nothing you need to feel regret about. You needed to do it and you did it and all is good.
hugs.
I cheated until my Saturn Return.
Like anonymous #1, I was in a relationship from hell. It was abusive, psychologically, emotionally, and physically. The sex was horrible, and I didn’t believe he loved me, I believed he felt he *owned* me, and the children.
He was hugely jealous, so jealous that I couldn’t look out the window in the car without being accused of “looking for my boyfriends place.” I am not kidding.
After around 4 or 5 years of being accused of being unfaithful, I decided that I’d rather be hung a sinner than a saint, and I did it. In fact I had an entire summer of debauchery. He found out, I hoped that he would leave me and hate me forever, but he stayed. In fact, he seemed less likely to be accusatory afterwards, though he remained extremely jealous.
It wasn’t the first time I cheated on someone though, the first time I was lured and manipulated by a former lover that wanted me back.
I admit that I’m not horribly good at fidelity, but if I have any respect for my partner then I have no problem telling them (beforehand) and allowing them to choose their own direction. That’s being honest. In the past I have not been honest with people I had no respect for, and normally by the time I was cheating the relationship was over in my mind whether we’d sorted the cutlery yet or not.
Is there a good source to research when transits occurred?
If you’re not comfortable with an ephemeris, you could buy a transit report for a specific period of time from any number of websites, like tarot.com or astro.com
Find that most of the ladies especially when married are faithful to their husbands. They can or may stray when they feel let down by the infidelity of their spouses. The smart ones confront their husbands whenever they find out of the infidelity by throwing them in the dog house for a while or maybe for good. For the ones who truly love their husbands and find themselves living with a "hopeless husband" throw him out. Don't let him in back, "even for the sake of the kids". Remember there are some guys who should have never got married in the first place because of their "genetic" make up – infidelity wasn't written in the stars but in their genes. And ladies, if you found the guy who is truly faithful and loves you unconditionally, take care of him cause in this day and age, he is a rare gem.
The Aries guys truly love their wives, its just that they can become so sexy and helpless when the wife's not around. They will most likely have a "quicky" if the opportunity arises.
The earthy Taurus,Virgo,& Capricorn dudes can be very jealous so initially being faithful may be high on their list for playing it safe. Mars or Venus in fire or water signs or a partner who is overly possessive will eventually lead this bunch to stray later on in their relationships. They will most always seek out and look for much younger partners. The really brave and committed ones support two households if they can afford it and they figure a way to get away with it.
Cancer guys adore and cherish the meaning of family and home – so why the heck do they need to have sneaky affairs on the side? Well every 2 1/2- 3 days their piece of rock in the sky change signs, so believe its hard for them to be "constant" and faithful.
The Gemini "twins", along with Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces husbands feel and understand somewhere deep down the duality that haunts the depths of their souls. So more than one relationship(s) even after saying "I do" may be a given for them. From my own experience, the two most promiscuous signs are Gemini and Sagittarius. These guys should seriously think twice before getting married or they should find a partner who truly understands them.
The Leo husband knows that back home he's got a queen waiting eagerly for him to get back from his night on the town. While she may think that he's out with his buddies having a "few", this guy is well capably of having a few "extras" on the side in one night. Fire signs tire easily of having or dong the same routine, time after time if you get the "drift," so any "new" adventure is right up their ally. They never seem to realize how boring "slam bam thank you mom" can also be to their partners.
Libra and Aquarius husbands(once they made up their minds on the choice of a partner) know what it takes to make a committed relation work. They can get themselves into trouble when their imaginations get the better of them by thinking that they can get away with what they may consider a "little tryst" on the side.
Probably the most faithful of the signs are the Scorpio husbands. With all the allure and sexuality pouring through their pores, this bunch have gotten a bad or maybe too much of a good rap when it comes to the sex department. Under the sheets these guys are the best but once they say "I do" they mean it. They will stray when they are hurt or let down by the sexual indiscretions of their wives.Forgiving is also not their style and they never forget. It may take a while before Scorpio finds another partner because of his shot faith.
wow, that’s a blog post in itself. Thanks, Anonymous!
Hello all,
I am Sagittarius (male) sun sign, so basically I agree with your last comment. In a way Sags search adventure and the new. I am also Aquarius rising, which gives too much far imagination and search for diversity and the different.
Wasn’t it my Virgo Moon and I would have a huge problem. I still have a big problem to commit; I am very truthful, so I don’t cheat but I get often tired of routine, you are correct. My eyes (and mind) roams freely…
I have also Mars in Libra and Venus in Aquarius, so again, detachment and search for diversity.
Differently than fire and air signs, my experience with water signs tells me their potencial problem is unstability (particularly Cancer ones; and Pisces are quite not very committed too), Earth ones are the best for commitments and a good Taurus or Virgo is an excellent choice. I think Leos (with some earth energy) could be a good choice too.
……………………………..and back to the original question :what transit omit a cheating
love planets aspecting uranus like mars,venus,pluto
and aspects to neptune – venus or mars would mean a secret romance
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