The Astrology of Kink: the Libran Ideal
September 5, 2008 by Jeffrey Kishner
Leather and lace, fringe and fetish … in this series, we’ll take a peek at the kinkier side of the zodiac. Each sign has its own distinct sexual flavor; by combining the various tastes you find in the natal chart, each person’s unique sexual recipe begins to emerge. Let’s take a look at Libra, that most romantic and particular of lovers.
Like Taurus, Libra is ruled by pleasure-loving Venus, but there’s a distinct difference. In earthy Taurus, Venusian desire is grounded in physical pleasure, but in Libra, the Goddess of Love is all air. Where earth Venus manifests as sensuality, air Venus manifests as aesthetic ideals. Airy Libra is often more turned on by ideals of physical pleasure than by the experience itself.
They can be very good lovers, if you fit one of their mental fantasy frames. They love to visualize themselves giving as good as they’re getting, and are eager to please — they have standards to meet, you know — and once you find a shared mental picture that won’t offend the Libran aesthetic sensibilities, sex can be erotic and imaginative. Sexy lingerie, flattering candlelight, and appropriate music are favorites; the closer a Libran can get to a picture-perfect romantic scenario, the happier they’ll be.
Librans like to watch. This is one of the most voyeuristic signs in the zodiac — if the situation is appealing, that is. For instance, many Librans like porn, but strongly prefer the slick, airbrushed type. Amateur porn is not to their taste, as the models and sex acts are often imperfect; Libra has to accept enough imperfections in real life as it is!
Particular though it may be, Libran voyeurism isn’t passive. They prefer to be an active party, visualizing themselves as the center of a sexy threesome or hot quad, possibly even directing the show; Libra Mars is particularly fond of this. Watching themselves in action is another turn-on; mirrors and video recorders are practically a given with an uninhibited Libran (but only for the most flattering shots, of course.)
It’s a rare Libran who enjoys the rough stuff. If you happen to look really good in black leather, fine, but don’t expect the average Libran to play along with anything other than light bondage. This is a cerebral sign that enjoys the softer pleasures of relating; they’d much rather tease you with a peacock feather than smack you with a riding crop.
One of the main downsides to Libran sexuality is its tendency to be superficial and fickle. If for some reason you cease to fit Libra’s ideals, you’ll know it. Librans tend to feel entitled to upgrades, even if it violates your contract — the Libran Venus is particularly prone to “trading up” if the opportunity presents itself. Not all of them will be the chronically-divorced type, but even faithful Librans can be lousy at hiding their disappointment if you happen to gain a few pounds or slack off in your grooming.
Otherwise, Libran energy makes for great lovers. They may be tough to please in certain ways, but they’re equally concerned with pleasing you. Whether it’s the Sun, Ascendant, Mars or Venus that’s involved, these folks are responsive, imaginative, and interactive. The airy nature of this sign gives it a pleasant, companionable touch, too, and Libran relationships are as friendly as they are lusty. If an encounter marked by aesthetic pleasure and mutual satisfaction sounds good to you, find a Libran. If nothing else, it’s the perfect excuse to max out the credit card at Victoria’s Secret.
About the Author
Laura F. Walton is a writer, artist, and arts instructor based in Texas. She has been a practicing astrologer for nearly ten years; she specializes in areas of sexuality, individuality, and creative self-discovery. She has contributed forecasts for print media, and currently provides monthlies on her blog Astro What?
Related post: Are Libras unfaithful?
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I really love this series, mostly because it’s in line with many of my interests. Mine won’t be hit on until last, but I like to see the count on others in my life as they go by. Libra and Cancer were the two I was waiting for the most.
What I don’t really agree with is that the Libran isn’t so much into kink. I took a consensus of my local kink community, of which I’m a part of, and Librans by far came out as the most predominant sign. Sure it’s not a big sampling (maybe 30 or 40 people). Some of those Librans are my favourite people to play with, and I will tell you they are hard core (possibly THE hardest core) and will be happy to hit you with much more than a riding crop!
I do agree (tenfold!) that the Libran has a wonderful and rich fantasy cache. My first love was a Libra sun, and he introduced me to role playing, and still (after 25 years) ranks in my top three lovers.
I tend to be drawn to people with Libra sun or libra mars. (I have a Libra Moon, so that is likely why…that and possibly the opposition to my own Mars in Aries creating all sorts of interesting – err – tension) My most recent conquest (this is a kink-based relationship) has a libra mars, it’s heavily aspected sure, but that is why we hooked up at all. There are plenty of them swinging whips, or being on the business ends of them out there.
My instinct tells me (though not necessarily my experience) that they make wonderful switches (ones that can be top and bottom) because of their ability to see things from different angles.
Anyhow, thought I’d throw my two cents in.
I agree. I am Libra. How I see it:because I always looked at the two possibilities, when I was younger I was “conservative” if the word can be applied to wat it was. Then I wanted to see the other possibility and I´ve got to say that I like both. Kinky kinky, hard hard,tough. I love it!! My fantasies are mostly about tough and rough sex. but I also want romantic,candles,bubble-bath. I looove roleplaying. Nurse, cop, teacher, schoolgirl, whore…
There is a time and a place for everything. Hard, kinky, romantic,sweet, passionate…
It was not easy to find a partner who liked BOTH in the same “intensity” as I do. And whose sex drive was very very compatible with mine. But I found him. He´s my most cherished treasure!
Believe it or not, I have not met a Libra who was not “feminine” in some way. Boyish good looks? Yes. Amazing style sense? Yes. Charming and polite? Yes.
But, there will always be a question popping in my head, “Is he gay?”
I’d be very curious to experiment with a Libra, however I have always ran away from them.
Good to hear from you again, Valkyri; I always look for your comments. I’m glad you chimed in on Libra, because I agonized over this one…Libra is the sign with which I have the least personal experience, and there simply wasn’t time for any personal research
I’d be totally fascinated by taking a look at some of those charts. It’s tough to generalize based on Sun sign or one chart factor alone, and the air signs are the worst; all three air signs tend to take on Mars or Pluto influences more easily than the rest of us. Water signs do it, too, as do the rest, but it’s still nothing compared to the air-sign tendency to fall back on Pluto or Mars for their “sexual backbone.” In Libra, I’d definitely take a look at Venus too; if it’s in Scorpio, Cap, Cancer, Aries, or a similar dominantly expressed placing, it’ll be strongly expressed.
I believe that this is due to the relative weakness of the physical expression of the air signs. The more air, the less likely an innate sense of direct physically-motivated energy– hence May’s observation (thanks Miss May!) that many Librans come across as at least metro– there’s just never going to be that feeling of raw caveman virility in a Libran!
But on the other hand, the relative strength of the mental and imaginative drive is very strong, and, with the right backup influence, expressed very much as specific sexual motivation.
Ana, thanks for your comments too; I’m glad you’ve found your lobster
OK, my Libra is not like that at all, maybe it’s because he’s in the military but he’s a manly man. Very caveman like in bed and doesn’t really have a soft side except when it comes to children.
I am a libra female and the best suited sex I’ve had in my entire life (I’m 52) is with a scorpio man. We both have our moon in Virgo. I was married to a Virgo Aries and an Aries Aquarius. Neither one could compare to the great sex with a scorpio man. We are so compatible with other things but sex in out of this world.
Wow, so I’m dating a Libran man. Um, I have to say he’s the best lover I’ve ever had. We connect best…intimately. I know it’s not all about the physically intimate aspects of a relationship but we are extremely bonded that way and always finish with a smile on our faces.
I have a friend with Mars in Libra. He’s got Sun and Venus in Scorpio.
It’s true ! We’ve talked a good deal about relationships and sex and all of that. He’s the one that’s all about the “giving”, the romantic things in the bed, he said he’s not the one for kinky things. He’s the one that likes to fantasize a good deal too.
Any notes on how to turn them on ? Because he’s not as sexual as other men…
Neha : pls say any of u gals what r negative side of Aquarius boy u faced or common 4 that type of guy??????????????
Girls, has your Libra ever taken you shopping? That is the first thing my Libra wanted to do with me, seriously. He is so beautiful. I have never dated a Libra up until now. Being Gemini, everything aligns so nicely. I am so in love.
My Libra ex hubby hated shopping unless it was for computer stuff, or pizza LOL
Kink? ha ha, well…..Libra guys like to put you over there knee, and Libra girls like to be pur there, so as you can imagine we spent a lot of time indoors LOL Sex was phenomenal! I hate him for personal reasons, our characters clashed, but the bedroom was always exciting…..every morning, every night. Libra men get addicted to sex………..
My Aquarian Bf has a way of making me sattisfied without even a physical touch…Its bizzare but I swear we’ve been together even though were physically miles appart. Has anyone else ever experienced this too?
I had a Libran bf, I also thought he was gay. He was too gentle for me, I have always secretly wanted to be dominated. I guess that’s my Scorp Mars, Leo Sun and Venus in Virgo.
HI Me
My Libra ex dominated me when I explained thats what turned me on 
He wasnt a great friend in other ways but in the bedroom he loved to be told what I liked, what I wanted, Libras are very giving lovers, if you know how to ask…..LOL Of course theres a problem, sometimes Libras get too addicted…watch out, mine wanted it everyday, everynight…… but when we were first together, he was normal, after about a month or so of telling him what I liked, he was beginning to obsess with everything, even pushu=ing the envelope, this once mild mannered soft natured man became too dominating and too perverted LOL Nothing was too much……Its called Overkill, watch out, its a Dr Jeckle Mr Hyde situation unless you show him the limits….. ha ha
If you want a Libra man to do anything in bed you have to tell him and ususally hes game
My Libra ex was actually the raw cave man…… The boy even looked like one
I like tHe rougH sex, and tHe soft romantic side of lovemaking. I like to watcH porn, but not tHe so superficial type. I am open to try different tHings we a person, only if I trust tHat person to do tHat witH. I like women as well, I am tHe dominate one. I like to watcH, not peeping Tom, but consentual watcHing because its like art to me, and I am studying it. Me and my ex tried S&M, He was a Capricorn. He always love to give pain. I didn’t like it as mucH, but sometimes I did. I don’t like a man wHo comes at me witH tHe same sexual approacH, it will make tHe act boring. We libra’s like to pursue if we want it, but we like to be pursued just as mucH. I pounce on my partner like a tiger, wHen I am really Hot and BotHered. THe Big NO NO is not taking care of your Hygiene prior to getting intimate, it will mess up tHe entire tHing! I like different tHings to try, and I like to role-play and put on sexy kinky lingerie… If I am in love I will give tHem my all and THey will know. I trying to leave a mark, so tHey will never forget tHe amazing sex witH me. I am open about my sexuality, but at first I must admit I was a bit SHy about it (years ago)
DOMINICANA_LIBRA
I couldnt agree more about the hygeine. its so unsexy to touch skin with someone that doesnt smell pleasant. I dont care how a man dresses, I prefer jeans over men in suits, but Ive noticed that the one factor that makes me crazy enough to want to jump a guy is his smell. if he smells good I get excited, pretty frustrating to ride the bus when some total stranger sits next to you and smells soooo wonderful that your fighting yourself not to bite his ear………..Especially outdoors scent, makes me crazy…..
THE BreatH THing is important too! I keep mints and dissolve strips because you never know. We eat tHings tHat cause an odor, we are Human, but it is essential to eat a mint or sometHing before getting into ones face. THere were times my mate got mad because I will give Him one witHout saying anytHing ( WHip it out like a badge lol) I dont care for a man witH a suit eitHer, but I like a man tHat dress neatly, nor I dont like a man tHat wear tHe same outfit two days straigHt ( I seen it Happened) Smelling a lovely smell of a mans cologne brigHtens my mood. I love a guy witH smootH SKin too.
LibraLady
Im sorry but Libra women got absolutely nothing on Taurus women LOL sorry.
I met the most wonderful Libra man and we moved to becoming lovers very quickly. He is amazing, so passionate like me. We met for lunch yesterday and as soon as we smiled at each other I knew, oh boy…………we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other at lunch. We were holding hands and kissing so much I thought they were going to shut the place down! Finally we got through lunch and headed to his place. The chemisty was amazing and we both like the same things in bed. Oral sex is a must in my book. He is older than me 54 and I’m 42 but he is really attractive. I’ve never been with a man who has a beard. He told me that when he performs oral sex that most woamn want him to wash his face/beard before even kissing him again. It didn’t turn me off whatsoever. At 54 he said that a woman has never tasted his come. I couldn’t believe it. After we make hot passionate love we just held each other and he wouldn’t stop staring into my eyes telling me how beautiful I was. This has never happened to me. He has been in 2 long term marriages but I can tell you that I say I definitely have had more lovers than him. Anyway, just wanted you to know what a lovel man he is.
You've had this happen too? I think this same thing happened with me and a Libra. But we've never had physical sex. I think it's called spiritual sex. And it was amazing. It lasted for a while too.
I’m a gemini man. My wife is libra. She’s great in the bedroom and just suprised me with her ability to give blowjobs haha (very very good). Apparently I think more about sex than she does though or get turned on more easily. My biggest chore with her is actually getting her into the bedroom, once I get her there it’s everything I want and more. I stumbled across this because I was looking for ideas on how to turn her on. Every time I ask her she always says “I don’t know” lol. Any of you guys have any ideas?
Mike
LOL, oh she is just as turned on as you are….She just needs to release…BTW, do you know a Libra woman’s erogenous zone? (he he) I am a lot more fired up then I was at 20, (39 now) Libras get turned on faster with age….of course Im Scorpio Rising so who knows….. She knows what she wants, you have to tickle it our of her…Oh and flowers always work, flower petals on a pillow…think fragrance, its our biggest weakness, and lots of affection goes a long way too. When my Aqua guy wants to seduce me, he kisses me a lot, he blew my mind one night when he kissed every inch of my body….I’m not sure which I liked more that or the intense spanking he gave me, but he knows how to get me tearing his clothes off with my teeth…. And to think my Libra ex husband once called me frigid LOL
LibraLady:
.
Ha! Funny because I’ve also been told that I am the Ice Queen from my exes, yet my Scorp melts me faster than an icecube in Florida. I too like a man in jeans, but when my guy wears a suit – oooh boy! One GQ man comin’ right up
I have to agree with aspects of this article. As a libran woman, I am all about aesthetics. I like my men polished, sophisticated and put together. I’m all about the five senses. A man should look good, smell good, taste good, sound good and feel good. Sound like high maintenance much? Yeah, maybe, but when I’m turned on – I am tuned into EVERYTHING about him. The visual and the tactile senses just sky rocket! Really though, how else can you enjoy yourself unless you’re fully into the experience?
You should see my Aqua man in jeans and a hoody.. I guess I like a man to look cuddly, I never really went for men in suits, but cuddly sweaters…mmmmmm
I love it when he is all clean shaven and wears the after shave my son gave him. He keeps commenting on “I can feel you smelling me again” when we hug LOL
Cancer guys are great shoppers BTW, my son gave me the prettiest smelling bubble bath for Christmas this year and picked out the nicest after shave for my guy….If you know or have a Cancer man in your family, go shopping with him when you pick out cologne, WOW, they have great taste!!!! If you go out with a Cancer guy, you lucky girl, they know how to smell wonderful!!!!
LibraLady:
Ha ha, what is it about Cancers being good shoppers? My friend is the same way.
My man is all business, right. So he’s always in a suit and tie because he must look professional in his line of work. The other night at the New Year’s Eve party, we run into these two other girls whom he went on a date with. It was funny because one was making these comments like, “Oh, I’ve never seen you in anything else but a suit! I think you live in them, ha ha”. Meanwhile, I was like, “Um, well, actually – he looks pretty sexy in jeans and a sweater!” She was sitting there with this astounded look on her face . . . My Scorpio male only shows one side of himself to most people and that’s the “Suit”. It was funny to see some of these other girls observing us. Here they thought since they’ve gone on a few dates with him, that they knew him, right. Meanwhile, through ~me~, they’re seeing a whole new side of him that they ASSUMED didn’t exist. It’s weird, but it’s such a turn on, ha ha. Just to bug these girls further (because he knew they were particularly observing us closely), he says in reference to me, “Yeah, she’s got strong legs”.
.
“Huh?”
“She can physically wrap herself around me while I’m standing and hold herself up!”
“What? OOoh!”
Afterwards, we’re smirking at each other, like, “Take that ladies, eat-your-heart-out”. They were so shocked that the “Suit” would say something that bold! Gasp! He and I enjoyed ourselves several times after the party, *ahem* What makes the “Suit” so sexy is knowing what’s beneath that shell, which he so carefully conceals
Libra Lady, yes, I have experienced tantric sex with my former Aquarian love…he was in Lagos and I in Australia, but we had an incredible telepathic thing going and I recall one particular day when we were e’mailing and he was obviously thinking of the last time…years before, and my body just started writhing uncontrollably…it was awesome!! I also experienced it with a lecturer/;professor at uni…he was a Libra like me, and very sexual. It is like he just sent these powerful feelings into my body and watched me react during him telling the students about Ethics… It was a small class, and he was sitting directly in front of me in a very relaxed manner. I just hope no-one else saw my red face and gulps of pleasure(:
As for the scent of the male…mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm you got that right! The Aries Dragon that I like, had the most gentle cologne when we were at a dance, and I almost fell to the ground when I got a whiff…it was like a white musk or something similar…he had it on when I stood next to him at a bar one Sunday too and again, I felt weak at the knees…and he wonders why I am sooooooo crazy about him?????? PULEEEZ!!