How Aspects in Astrology Reflect Your Relationship Struggles

“Moving parts” are all the planets in your chart and the energetic connections they make to each other, called aspects. Yet, our moving parts aren’t always well-coordinated. Rarely is a human put together such that all the parts move together harmoniously. The challenge aspect (the square), the tension aspect (the opposition), the stress aspect (the inconjunct) and the conjunction all point to the lessons we are here to work through — especially when it comes to how we relate to others.

Conjunctions are a fusion of energy between the planets that are conjoined. Conjunctions are planets that are often, but not always, in the same sign and within a few degrees of each other.* Here is a blending of harmonies between the planets, so that this energy takes on a hybrid life of its own. If Mercury is conjunct your Sun, for instance, your essential nature and your thinking processes are intimately tied together. No problem with communication here! But there may be a lack of an ability to see other’s viewpoints. With a conjunction, you may find it difficult to realize that other people are separate and apart from you.

Oppositions talk primarily about the “other.” Sun and Moon, yin and yang, Heaven and Earth. The issue is polarity, that which balances one end against the other. People with oppositions in their chart are here to work on building relationships with others. “Opposites attract,” so the saying goes, but it’s more than that. In the puzzle of human relationships, we draw to ourselves those people who make us feel complete. But the very part that completes us often competes with us. It is what gives the opposition its passion and fire. The work of this aspect is to balance the competing energies symbolized by the two planets opposing each other.

Squares are challenges within you, and often manifest as the same challenges with other people. If you have Venus square Mars for instance, sex for you is an important part of the relationship, often overriding other concerns. Consequently, you’ll choose a partner whom you consider sexy and exciting — regardless of whether or not the relationship is good in other respects. Sexual issues, including jealousy and fidelity, become the focal point of the success or failure of your coupling, while the other aspects of relationships — such as compatibility, mutuality, emotional bonding — go begging. Worse yet, you’ll blame yourself for not being sexy enough to keep your partner … when the relationship goes south.

Inconjuncts pose a dilemma because it is difficult for you to get a handle on issues regarding the two planets within that configuration. Inconjuncts are known as the seesaw aspect for good reason. With the inconjunct, you bounce from one extreme position to another, unable to come to a resolution or a decision. When you have an inconjunct at play in your chart, your love relationship reflects this push-pull. Let’s say you have Venus inconjuct the Sun. Money issues can dominate your relationship, with the man not earning enough to help sustain your household, or focused too much on earning it to pay much attention to his partner. Either way — and it can swing both ways in the same relationship, with a boom or bust cycle of earning power — this issue can threaten the viability of the relationship.

Being aware of how you trip yourself up can help you overcome the rough spots in your moving parts — so that you can more successfully navigate your relationships.

For more on relationship astrology, two good books are Skymates: Love, Sex and Evolutionary Astrology and The astrology of human relationships by Frances Sakoian.

REFERENCE GUIDE

• Conjuction: 0 degrees
• Square: 90 degrees
• Inconjunct: 150 degrees
• Opposition: 180 degrees

About the Author
Beth is a professional astrologer with over twenty years experience counseling clients in career and relationship issues. She writes an astrology column for a weekly newspaper along the Connecticut shoreline and blogs about astrology daily at the 451 Press blog Astrology Explored.

Comment below: How do your moving parts trip you up in relationships?

* The number of degrees that makes an aspect effective is a matter of debate within the astrological community. Some Western astrologers advocate for tight “orbs” of influence — meaning the number of degrees differing from an exact (or “partile”) aspect — where they will consider orbs of no more than 5 degrees, while other astrologers will consider orbs up to 10 degrees.

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