The Astrology of Kink: The Gemini Electric
August 7, 2008 by Laura F. Walton
Leather and lace, fringe and fetish … in this series, we’ll take a peek at the kinkier side of the zodiac. Each sign has its own distinct sexual flavor; by combining the various tastes you find in the natal chart, each person’s unique sexual recipe begins to emerge. This time, we’ll try to catch the elusive Gemini in action.
Above all else, Gemini likes variety. Gemini can’t handle boredom, including boredom in the bedroom. This sign approaches sex like some people approach potluck dinners: a little of this, a little of that, and a little more of that mystery casserole they couldn’t quite identify the first time around. They will usually try anything once, just to see what it’s like.
Sexual curiosity is one of Gemini’s most attractive features, though it can lead to a desire for multiple partners. While one option is infidelity and revolving-door relationships, another is polyamory. Gemini is well-suited to multiple-partner or open arrangements, if they can learn to make (and keep!) the mutual agreements that are involved. The Twins are not possessive or territorial by nature, and they have more than enough chatty charm to satisfy two or three steady partners at once.
But the actual Mercury sex drive isn’t the strongest, especially in the Gemini Mars. The Twins are rarely the smoldering-volcano-of-barely-suppressed-lust types; their energy is light, flirtatious, and inquisitive. Like uncontained low-voltage electricity, it darts and sparkles, barely touching down. Sometimes the Gemini libido behaves like a demon-possessed light switch, switching itself on and off at inopportune moments. It usually resurfaces again just as quickly, though, often at a surprisingly different wavelength.
Other chart factors can add sensuality and passion, but for the most part Gemini is more imaginative than physical. They shine at verbal sex, be it flirtation, phone sex, or dirty talk (they’re often fantastic at oral as well) and some folks with multiple planets in Gemini actually prefer noncontact relationships to physical encounters. Most Gemini people are good with their hands, too, and like cooperative masturbation.
Above all, they’re flexible. Their adaptability often leads to a wide variety of experiences and lifestyles. Bisexuality is common in both Gemini men and women, and the transition between same-sex and opposite-sex situations is seamless. All of the mutable signs tend to bisexuality, but Gemini is more dual than most; a monosexual Gemini is almost a contradiction in terms.
This flexibility is also noticeable when they flit into range of the BDSM spectrum. Most Gemini lovers are either bottoms or, more often, perfectly happy switches. Without a strong Saturn or Pluto influence, the responsibilities of the dominant roles aren’t natural to the light Twin energy, but switching roles is fun for them. In fact, role-playing and sexual games of all kinds can interest Gemini (for a few minutes, at least.) Manufacturers of explicit board games rely on the Mercury market to stay in business; who else but the Mercury-ruled would want to combine that much talking and thinking with sex?
Gemini is the sexual chameleon of the zodiac, and its only real fetish is variety. If you enjoy a lighter approach to sexuality, with plenty of electric sparkle and imagination thrown in, find a Gemini Sun, Mars, or Venus. With a Gemini partner, the only guarantee is that you’ll never get bored — if you can keep up, that is!
About the Author
Laura F. Walton is a writer, artist, and arts instructor based in Texas. She has been a practicing astrologer for nearly ten years; she specializes in areas of sexuality, individuality, and creative self-discovery. She has contributed forecasts for print media, and currently provides monthlies on her blog Astro What?
Related post: How to seduce a Gemini
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I was so waiting for this one. Laura, you just made my day. It’s very well written.The only thing I would add would be that despite a great need for ‘variety’, Gems don’t have to have different partners. They can be perfectly monogomous in a happy relationship. What most people don’t see or get is that Gems live a very rich imaginary life full of ‘variety’ in their own head, or rather they live several different lives in their head. So on any given day, at any given time, there is always a lot going on up there. As long as they have a partner who allows them that freedom of imagination and doesn’t smother them, they can do monogamy. I say this as a Gemini Moon person. I don’t know if it’s different with Gemini Sun/Mars/Venus. But a good post.Take that as a compliment from me, my twin and all others who live happily in my head…..;-)
Oooops…..I meant 'monogamous' not 'monogomus'. Let me correct it quickly before Jeffrey's Virgo ascendant starts spell checking it for me & then points it out to me.
Thanks, Shygirl! I have the Gem Mars myself, along with a mutable air chart signature, and I agree: Gems can easily be monogamous, given the right partner. They need someone who will satisfy their imaginations, above anything else
@shygirl, Perhaps I would have, but my Pisces Mercury would have done it compassion.
Speaking as a gem sun/moon/mercury/venus/ascendant I would have to say that this is basically spot on! The part about the boardgames, DEFINITELY.
I agree with gemini not being very sexually spurred. A lot of my relationships have become simple non contact friendships, out of comfort.
However I would add that geminis (although, this may just be a personal thing), usually like to be more submissive in the bedroom because they like the feeling of being controlled, it’s interesting, it makes you wonder what’s going to happen next etc. As long as the person who is in control is very creative.
Also being submissive means that you’re being ordered into it. I find that most of the geminis I know are apprehensive when it comes to sex. So they love dominant partners!
I really like this post about Geminis considering they are one of the Sun signs I typically become attracted too. I know they like variety but I always thought that certain earth signs….say Venus or Moon in Taurus would tone down their “scatterness”.
Anon #1: Wow, that’s a lot of Gemini! How do you ever get your mind to stop working?
About the board games: it’s really the funniest thing. Those of us with Mercury-influenced sex drives love them, but everyone else thinks they’re stupid, tedious, and beside the point. If you’re the “say anything” type of Gemini, try dividing a room into people who like sexy board games and people who don’t…it’s a bizarre little test that fairly accurately judges the Mercury influence in their sexual nature.
Anon #2: Yes, you’re absolutely correct. Take Mars, for instance. A Gemini Sun with Mars in Taurus or Scorpio, for instance, has a steadier sex drive than one with a Mars in, say, Pisces or Libra.
That’s the most fascinating thing about astrology: the combinations are endless, and every single person is unique!
I didn’t mention this in the article, but the Gemini Ascendant is a fairly weak influence, physically speaking. Mercury tends to take on the coloring of the stronger planets in the chart, and this seems to be especially true of the Gemini Ascendant. The Sun or personal planets in stronger signs, like Capricorn, Scorpio, Leo, etc., will override most of the Gemini sexuality (barring Mars or Venus in Gemini, of course.)
Hey, Laura!
I was just thinking how you said that Geminis like variety and are willing to try anything once. How would Mars in Aquarius affect that individual? Would it make that person kinkier or would that person just enjoy the “thoughts” of being kinkier since Aquarius is an emotionally detached sign?
@LFW, by “sexy board games” do you mean the kinds you’d buy at Spencer’s at the mall?
Hey Laura, just curious as to what your thoughts are about this John Edwards' scandal/affair (from astrological point of view, of course), given that he has a stellium in Gemini ( Moon & Jupiter conjunction in Gem in the 11th house, & Sun with Mars in Gem-not conjunct each other but together in the 12th). Have you looked at his chart? Any thoughts?
Jeff: yes, those are the ones, for the most part. You can get more explicit and/or specific ones on various websites and at adult shops– for instance, same-sex oriented or fetish-specific games. The Spenser’s ones are pretty generic (but still big fun!!)
Shygirl: I haven’t looked at it at all– in fact, I’m only vaguely aware that it happened, lol! I’d hate to comment without knowing the details, but if there’s a 12th house Sun and Mars, the potential for sexual secrets certainly exists. That’s a terrbily broad and almost useless statement, I realize….
By the way, as a disclaimer: under most circumstances, you should avoid playing sexy board games at Spenser’s on the mall, and at most other locations on the mall as well.
For whom it may interest (besides me), Eric Francis just blogged about this John Edwards’ scandal on Planet Waves, this am.
Hi Anon! Sorry I missed your Aquarius Mars question the first time around. With the combination of Gemini Sun and Aquarius Mars, the answer is “Yes, both.” The Aquarian Mars is probably the most noncontact-oriented Mars there is; it’s very cerebral and abstract, although it’s also very broad-minded, quirky, and experimental. Combining this with Gemini could very well indicate a person who needs less physical sex than mental sexual stimulation.
With Gemini and Aquarius combined sexually, though, when sex does occur, it’s rarely vanilla. These people tend to have lengthy periods of near-celibacy interspersed with rather odd, unexpected encounters or relationships. Dry spells don’t affect this combination as badly as they do other signs, because Uranus/Mercury often gets a lot of satisfaction out of mental sex– talking about sex, having phone or internet sex, having visualized sex, or, as another poster mentioned above, engaging in relationships that are teasing, intimate, and verbally sexual but non-physical (Uranus adds an even more pronounced mental/abstract componant to Gemini.)
Of course, as always, other chart factors can alter this tendency considerably, but it would be a rare Gem/Aqua that would be content without the imaginative, abstracted mental componant!
what an interesting article..
my boyfriend is a gemini sun/venus/jupiter with a mars in cancer, and i guess the Mars in Cancer makes him love being of service, which works well with me (leo sun/mars/venus/merc).
His Aries moon loves the attention i give him, and my Aquarian moon surely adds alot of experimenting around, and the variety and surprises he likes! plus, we both have Scorpio Plutos in 1st house! WOO!
a monogamous relationship is totally fine with them, true. as long as the partner don’t restrict/smother them. and they do have different lives in their head. sometimes he’s the man, but sometimes he wants me to be the masculine one..
I am a Gem male and can attest to all of this. I could never understand why I enjoyed having multiple partners until my astrology awakening. I have had many open relationships, and love them. I was so happy to learn why I had all these weird fantasies too. I am very masculine, but I always wanted to try wearing woman’s clothing, but didn’t know why. After reading about sexual astrology one day, I did it. I love it, I dress up so sexy, and think about having a woman dominate me however she wishes. I must say I can’t get the courage to tell anyone my secret though. I think most women would be turned off by such thoughts though. Maybe I can get a “board game” of some sort that could introduce the idea so I don’t have to. I’ve even taken pictures of myself and they look hot. Thanks to astrology, I’m able to be okay with these kinks!
What do you women think, would you be okay with all this experimenting? Would it totally turn you off? I think it would be fun to play the opposite role, just don’t think others are so open minded!
@zeb:
I dated a couple of Gem’s and I have to say it would have lasted longer with at least one of them had he been honest about what he wanted sexually.
He just dried up on me…it wasn’t until I took a good hard look at his chart years later that I realized what he probably wanted…and I would have been able to give that to him had he been vocal.
But society puts such a stigma on a lot of things he was probably afraid or didn’t know how to approach it.
Just be very honest without being graphic..and it helps to do it in a setting that isn’t “already about to have sex”.
Do what you Gem’s do best…write a note, email, text…make it short and just let her know what you want her to do.
Afterward…tell her what you liked and would like to continue…good luck!!
@ angelineelise
Thanks for advise. What sign are you, and do you have a certain sign you hope to find yourself with? On top of my Gem sun, I have a cancer moon, and cancer rising. What a pain, sometimes! The more I learn though, the easier it is to harmonize all other aspects.
@zeb, as with nearly any kink, most women would probably not tolerate it, and some would find it a turn on. You could always put it out there on craigslist and see who bites.
Thanks for the info! Very insightful. I recently started dating a Gemini Sun and I’m intrigued by how open he is to exploring just about any and everything that has to do with sex. However, he is 25 years old and his longest relationship was for 6 months. I am a Pisces Sun, Pisces Mars and Cancer Venus so I realize that this new Gemini is definitely not the one for me to even think about getting serious with. (Lets just hope my idealism doesn’t rear its head and lead me away from the reality of the situation). Anyway, he seems like the perfect guy with who I can let loose and freely explore the variety and extremes of sex.
Wow, I haven’t been back to this one in a few weeks, and love reading all your comments!
Zeb, I totally agree with AE & Jeff: some women will go for it, some won’t, but that applies to anything. The underrated Gemini shyness coupled with all that Cancer might make this hard to do, but: you’ll just have to put yourself out there, in your own way of course, and see what happens. You’d be surprised at the number of mainly hetero couples I’ve run across in my lifetime that engage in crossdressing, cross-gender play, etc.. If you really get into it, a local Tri-Ess chapter can be a helpful and interesting place to begin, particularly for CD’s or TG’s who identify mainly as hetero.
Above all, you’re a Gemini– there’s no need to take anything too terribly seriously! Have fun, enjoy, and the right girl will wander up eventually…I’m sure you’ll know her when you meet her.
@Anon- Good luck with your Gemini! I’m Piscean, have dated several Geminis or Gemini-heavy people in my life– they make me crazy, but in a good way. I’d definitely recommend the Gemini/Pisces match, so long as, like you say, the Piscean can keep the idealism in check and the Gemini can work on the vulnerability issues.
One note, though: start taking turns playing the “parent role” from the beginning. Pisces and Gemini are the most changeable, child-like signs in the Zodiac, and somebody has to be the mommy/daddy sometimes. If either one of you get stuck in the role full-time, the whole thing will go down the tubes very quickly– the resentment will build, and you’ll hate each other within months. Make it into a game– that works for both signs!
Zeb, I don’t know how old you are, but there are some women who would love it.It’s true that some won’t.And I find to my surpise that my generation did more exploration, and kinkiness than is done now–all the while that most things are acceptable now and more people have tried different things or situations.I’ve also had a lot of seemingly very open minded and sexual people suddenly get squeamish or judgementla about something or other–even something that they do themselves(like same sex excursions)—but don’t want their partner to do.
Anyway–how’d I get going on that?
Point is–I had a bf who was a cross dresser, and completely straight.I enjoyed sex with him.I had another bf much later on, who seemed to be leaning towards it but I suspect he thought he was too macho (I think) to be upfront about it.
But as Jeff said there will be girls who like it, and others who want to try it,and some who dig you, and try it to please *you*, and some who don’t at all.
satisfaction out of mental sex– talking about sex, having phone or internet sex, having visualized sex, or, as another poster mentioned above, engaging in relationships that are teasing, intimate, and verbally sexual but non-physical (Uranus adds an even more pronounced mental/abstract componant to Gemini.)
Laura, you had said (about Gems and Aquas)
“Of course, as always, other chart factors can alter this tendency considerably, but it would be a rare Gem/Aqua that would be content without the imaginative, abstracted mental componant!
The same is true of Libra, I’ve found.I think it’s the Air element.
but it’s still all a big fantasia- like dream.
But Libras especially are prone towards sex in the head, fanatasies, erotica and imagined encounters.
Some of what is imagined actually happens, too,
im a gemini n i dont masturbate
at all……my bf dose it 4 me but i would
never do that to myself so that parts a lie
I am an Aries female, crazy about a Gemini male who took nearly a year to ask me out. The date went great and now NOTHING. He DID e-mail me to say he had a great time and should get together again soon, loves what I look like, said I was a great kisser three times, yet nothing. I really want to see this fellow again, but what chance do I have if he is all over the place, astrologically? His birthdate is June 4th. Thank you.
I am re-visiting this post as I’ve been in an open relationship with a female Gem. I picked her up today so she could accompany me during chores and in the car she showed me bruises from her encounter with another lover. I told her that I HATE hickey’s and the like..and she said point blank it was an “ownership issue”. I had not known prior this was going on, the submission.
Just as the prior Gems I’ve encountered (one male, one female) in relationships she enjoys submission. I personally think she finds it comforting because it’s a way to shut her brain off, focus on ONE THING…pleasing her partner. She then praised me for being so strong and bossy.
I knew what I had to do and went right to it. Within a 15 minute car ride my Gem lover girl and I had made a silent agreement that I would soft dom her and I spent the afternoon setting down rules like she would have to hold my hand in public, not open doors for herself, and ask me permission to go to the bathroom.
She was over the moon!
I am not very into dominance because even with a Cap Rising and Sun, my Aqua Moon/Venus/Mars fears tyranny in any form and is too relaxed to be hardcore…angry bossy lady. So I let her know that too, it’s not a problem because she has someone like that for her…which is good. I told her I would be picky on my dom and keep it soft, but she’s responded well…. socially and sexually.
Hey Zeb
If your into role playing and experimenting, get a Libra woman
But only if its long term…we learn as we go 
We love to “talk” too, so be very honest 
This passage proves why a Cap and Gemini combination is so turbulant Gemini are too damn fickle.