The Astrology of Kink: Beneath the Shell of Cancer
August 13, 2008 by Laura F. Walton
Leather and lace, fringe and fetish…in this series, we’ll take a peek at the kinkier side of the zodiac. Each sign has its own distinct sexual flavor; by combining the various tastes you find in the natal chart, each person’s unique sexual recipe begins to emerge. Now it’s Cancer’s turn, and there’s more to this sign than homemade cookies and apron strings.
Yes, Cancer is a very nurturing, maternal sign, and “maternal” doesn’t always jibe with “hot sex” in our cultural imagination. Many Crabs do tend to wear a prudish-looking shell, especially in public — but for the most part it’s just an act, designed to protect sensitive sexual emotions. And yes, Cancerian sexuality is always tied to emotionality, and it takes a while for this sign to open up — but once they do, they can be very intense, not to mention kinky in a very unique way.
Since Cancer traditionally rules the breast, it’s said that Cancerians are boob men (or boob gals, as the case may be.) This is often true, but here’s another tidbit: Crabs like bums, too. They often love rear-entry positions and anal sex, as well as spanking. If spanking, paddling, or caning is one of your turn-ons, whether male or female, spanker or spankee, you can usually find a Cancer happy to oblige.
If this can be turned into a discipline game, so much the better. Cancer females can really get into a good game of “dirty teacher/naughty student,” and Cancer males can make great naughty students themselves. While Cancer may not seem like the best candidate for the Domination Top Ten, they can surprise the unsuspecting.
Leather and spikes are not to their taste, though. Cancerian domination is more emotional, and often results in situational scenarios that tease the sense of vulnerability and taboo rather than pain or physical submission. A Cancer with a strong dose of Mercury (particularly Virgo on the Ascendant or Mars in Virgo) can also enjoy medical play, ranging from NC-17-rated “dirty nurse” games, to fantasies that involve elaborate setup, special equipment, and at least an XX rating.
They don’t make good swingers. This is a very partnership-oriented sign, and they prefer to stay one-on-one. It’s hard for Cancer to open up sexually, and once they do, they usually feel deeply bonded. While one tends to find fewer Cancerian lesbians and gay men than average, those that are same-sex oriented are often completely same-sex oriented — there’s nothing bisexual about them.
Casual sex isn’t an option, either, for either single or coupled-up Crabs. They may try it every now and then, but they miss the emotional depth and nuance they find with a long-term partner. One Cancerian described one-night-stands thus: “It’s like eating cheese puffs for dinner, when what you really wanted was steak.”
Indeed. Substance is what Cancer craves. If you’re looking for a partner who naturally excels at the emotional aspects of sexuality, look for the Sun, Moon or Venus in Cancer, or Cancer on the Ascendant. Once you’re allowed behind the tough exterior shell, you’ll find a sexy, erotic creature who can fulfill the most intimate and specialized of desires: yours.
About the Author
Laura F. Walton is a writer, artist, and arts instructor based in Texas. She has been a practicing astrologer for nearly ten years; she specializes in areas of sexuality, individuality, and creative self-discovery. She has contributed forecasts for print media, and currently provides monthlies on her blog Astro What?
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Well, with all this talk about Cancerian men, I’m so on target with my love interest, even though I’m considered “attached” to someone else (whom I don’t want to be with anymore and am trying to dump). I’m a Taurus, with my Sun, Moon and Venus in Taurus but have been loved from afar by this Cancer man for almost 9 years! He was too shy to say anything to me unless he had some liquid courage first (a beer — or two or three of them). But I really feel an emotional connection with him and my curiosity is getting the better of me. With Aquarius ascendent though, I’m afraid I might be too hippee for him. I don’t know his ascendent yet either, but he did appreciate the low-cut shirt I wore just for him so the boobage angle works for sure!
Being a cancer woman who has ben married to a scorpion male for 27 yrs, it is rather easy for me to say that who I trust, I completely trust and who I don’t, I never will. Trust is the key issue to cancers who are always seeking security. While choosing an intense and powerful sign such as a scorpion, we find that the intensity and control with a touch of meanness makes us close the doors of our shells quickly. While I love my husband dearly, I find him very hard to live with. He seems unfair and all out for himself, and this makes me not like him much.
Now, we can complain and get totally freaked out emotionally, we are only defending our positions, and ussually have to be provoked to fill defensive. However, what ever you say out of anger will be remembered, and a woman scorned when a cancer, can be deadly. They are not sceemers, but act impulsively. They value their childrens heart and mind and protect their feeling completely. DO NOT MESS WITHY A CANCERS CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Instead, let them alone and when they need help they will ask.
Once someone has hurt me, I never forget but it is easy to forgive knowing I am not perfect or even close, myself. We are fair and expect to be treated the same. I treat my husband as he treats me and he does not like that at all. We forget to defend ourselves out of fear, sometimes, fear of rejection.
We are mostly funloving and accepting, but please, dont cross us.
The phrase, hell has no fury began with a cancer woman protecting the underdogs of this cruel world.
I just met my Cancer man and I’m a Gemini. I’m not sure what other melt he has in the equasion but oh boy is it red hot with him. Yesterday we made love for almost 2 hours an we could have gone all night I swear. He is masculine, emotional, caring, just amazing. I don’t know too much about the male body but boy or boy could this guy go. He can have multiple orgams and we made love so long he came 8 times, so awesome. He love my touch, caress and everything I do for him. I want to spoil him rotten. Emotionally it is hard for him because his ex wife messes with his emotions through their daughter. I am just there for him to listen and to understand. We are becoming great friends and lover and I just can’t get enough of him. I’ve NEVER been with a cancer before. My mom is a Cancer and she is realy up and down emotionally and her family and home is most important. When I arrived to his home last night he had candles lit in every room. We kissed immediately and he was so darn cute when he went into his bedroom and sprayed more cologne on himself. He is such a gem and I think he is amazing.
m a libran with cancer rising and hv never been able to get enuf of this cancerian i know for 4 yrs now. we arent dating, but jus sorta connect – like it goes CLICK and we’re on! awesome chemistry together, i love the passion he rouses in me and he jus cant get enuf of me (i also hv venus in scorpio) although we’ve both been cautious about getting emotional, i need depth and i din realize so does he which he hid behind his flirty banter. anyway he n i get along great, crackle the atmosphere n boy, he n i sort of jus know each other – he jus knows wat to say to me. sad part is i din give him n me a chance as partners, i was not single wen i met him. he n i have sorta made peace with it coz we are jus there for each other not to mention the sizzling attraction. ill always wonder though, wat he n wd have been like as partners…
Well damn, I’m an aries with moon in cancer and this explains tendency in kink to truly savour the “aftercare” component of BDSM. “Aw, did I hurt you? Let me kiss it better.”
I am falling deeply in love with my Cancer man. Last night while we were making love I was an inch from saying “I love you’. He only wants to have fun right now becuase he is going through so much crap in his life (selling home and business). Today I took a step back and although I text 1st thing this a.m. like I always do and called and left message in the early afternoon I need a break emotionally. We have talked every day since we met almost 1 month ago. We have such a connection that it’s very intense. I know crabs go into their shell so I think I need to step back and let him make the next move. We have so much fun and laughter together, never heavy…until we make love. Then it’s so amazing between us because me the Gemini (communicator) and him the Cancer (shelled and emotional) I don’t think either of us know how to act when the passion is so bold. Oh gosh, what is a girl to do?
im an aries girl in an emotional relationship with a cancer guy. hes so amazing, he just cant stop staring at me. but hes not that shy…he can run his hands and get what he want. he makes me to sit on him…uummmmm…holding my huge tits, playing and engaging me at the same time with his dirty talk. but he slaps my booty and just cant resist my bums…yeah hes a complete booty man. he really tries to connect well while sexing…he likes going down me. but i feel my lovehole is ignored a bit due to his obssessin for my boobs. sometimes he irritates me, sucking boobs for all night long and does not turn me, and worst is that he sleeps with my nipple between his lips…im tired of feeding this guy…hmmmm
Mine is getting distant but there is a reason for that as he will be relocating this year about 2 hours away from where I live. He is a total gem of a guy, very sweet and caring. He told me I was a bit agressive (me the Gemini..the communicator of the zodiac). I do know what I want in life that is for sure. So I just wait and play the game and see where it falls, but for now just friends. We have been lovers for a bit of time but once the emotions got to entangled he backed off. We had some enduring moments together though. When I met him for the 2nd time over his house we danced in his living room and he got teary eyed over some James Taylor music. Oh gosh, I wish he wasn’t moving…I could so see myself with him because he is emotional by nature like me….
Ria, I think ur guy has intense scorpio effects either the rising sign..his moon or his venus..or maybe another less romantic yet as lusty like maybe aries or gemini am not sure..but this is not loving romantic canerian behaviour lol.
I got 2 crabs attached to me like babies and one of them I am currently dating..really I don’t know what to do don’t wanna break the other’s heart and he is a good person and looks cute and truely loves me..he hasn’t been in love since his last engagement 6 years ago..I don’t want to cut him off yet he keeps falling deeper as the days go by.
It’s really driving me mad..and if my current guy knew any of that he would go gaga!!
Cancers are best compatible, with Scorpios, and Pisces. No matter what gender it is.
If your breaking up with a cancer, be up front, and cut and dry. It depends on what one of our moods you do it in, because it depends whether you need to be soft and caring, or firm and decisive. It will always take us awhile, but give us a week, or more, and we’re moved on. My favorite quote is; “everyone is willing to fall in love”.. and as Cancers, we sure are, and we’ll find the others who are too.
Your cancer most likely already knows that your not as into them as you were before, but we sometimes just don’t care, and turn it from reality, to our dream world, which you probably experience as us falling deeper and deeper. With that said, we don’t like people who lie to us, and silence hurts more than anything. Make sure you dont ever want anything with them though, because once you’ve cut us loose, and we’ve backed away, its hard for us to believe your feelings again.
Cancers are all about home, and security. I have always found Geminis attractive, but then i find that they are too flighty, and less concerned about the same things I find necessary.
I recently met a very wonderful Cancer man. We really hit it off and things got physical quickly, though it didn’t progress to actual intercourse yet. So, I know that Cancer men are sensitive, and I’m worried that I may have hurt his feelings or confused him, because the last time we were together he wanted to have sex and (in order to protect my own feelings, should this be all he was after) I turned him down. I haven’t seen him since because he is working 15 hour days (another reason I turned him down) and lives about an hour away from me, but until recently we were keeping well in contact via email/texting/online chat. Over the last week I have noticed a steady decline in the amount of attention I’m receiving from him. I’m wondering if he took my decision to wait as rejection, or if this is just part of the Cancerian moodiness?
I believe that Cancers are very easy influenced into being erotic and sensual sex gods and goddesses.
I love my Cancer Man
U got urself a keeper there honey….congrats!!
I waited and waited for the Cancer guy to speak his true feelings for me. And when we came to speak of his life, etc. I think it became too intense and he withdrew. I am okay with that but I do care for him dearly. I will see him tonight for business but nothing more. I’ve started to date a wonderful Sag. He is older than me by 13 years but he is so young and heart and definitely shows he cares far more by calling me multiple times a day, taking me to dinner, etc. The Cancer always was fighting his problems and although I was dedicated to our friendship it started to wear on me. I wanted to receive back and Cancer was just too wrapped up in his stuff. It’s okay because I do believe that he needs to take care of himself right now. It’s just nice to be freinds for now and let my heart move foward with another if that is what is to be…..the Cancer was amazing and I love him a lot…
Jen,
I think you have raised the expectations for him when you got physical too quickly. He may be thinking right now that you think he’s isn’t good enough for you. I suggest you take some initiatives to keep in touch with him.
But don’t give in and have sex either. Take it slow. If you continue to talk to him for a few more days, he’ll get back to his normal self.
Huey,
Although this happened quite awhile ago (January), you have given me a little clarity. Unfortunately, the man works like 100 hrs/week right now until next month, so I haven’t seen him since that night. We still keep in touch by texting a good amount, but it’s still hard for me to tell what he’s thinking. Me being a Sagi (w/ Scorpio Moon and Gemin rising-haha!), I want to be very direct with him, but I know it could potentially scare him farther into his shell. Also, I don’t want to be selfish when he is dealing with job stress. But I have mentioned that I like him twice now, tell him he’s handsome, etc and he changes the subject… It’s getting frustrating! I have a little hope, though, since his Venus and Mars are both in Taurus.
I can’t believe how true this all is!!!
I’ll be smiling for atleast another week!!!! 
It seems like it took forever to finally get my Cancer into bed. We had to connect emotionally before we could physically. Being a Taurus… I’m a little opposite on that, and luckily I am patient or he would have drove me mad with sexual tension.
I kid you not, I think I have been corrupted. I have NEVER been with anyone so adventurous and kinky in my entire sexual history!!! It was definately a surprise, that’s for sure. He’s always so well dressed, and well mannered, but he’s a little dirty boy between the sheets. I think he totally loved how shocked I was and maybe even got off on it. lol.
I seriously feel like such a prude now. It was well worth the wait, and connecting and reconnecting and doing everything I could to comfort him and ease him out of that shell. WELL WORTH IT