But let’s go “deeper”: The prospect of anal sex taps into core issues such as trust and power. For one, it can take a woman a long time to “open up.”* In contrast to vaginal intercourse, in which all she needs to be is well-lubricated and receptive, much foreplay is required for her to comfortably accommodate anal penetration. Tongue, finger, butt plug … you know the drill. (And if you don’t, Em and Lo and an iVillage expert have some useful advice.) The woman’s comfort and relaxation are key components to receptivity. If you cannot relax, your sphincter tightens up. Therefore, you need to completely trust your partner — that he will go slow if that’s what you need, that he won’t hurt you.
To completely and willingly submit to a man in this way, you are giving him ultimate power. And in a consensual relationship, you are only giving him this power because you trust him completely. Of course Scorpio eroticizes power, but the key here is that he has earned it — and is this not the best kind?
Unfortunately, not all Scorpios (or men of any sign, for that matter) are deserving of this backdoor access. Perhaps he brings up the issue again and again with his partner because the idea turns him on. But if he cannot have the loving-care to go at your pace, then he is not ready. This arrangement only works if you are the one who says “Yes, I’m ready.”
* I am using a heterocentric example, but of course everyone — regardless of sexual orientation — has a butthole.