Astrology, Sex and Power
July 25, 2008 by Jeffrey Kishner
Years ago, I gave a free mini-reading to a woman to whom I was attracted. I am reminded of this because I just read an article in The Mountain Astrologer (Aug/Sept 2008) by Bruce Scofield called Uranian Adventures in Internet Dating. He shares that he gave a free reading to a prospective date to show her what it is he does as an astrologer. I am not judging his intentions, and I appreciate his candor in sharing his experience using astrology to screen potential partners, as well as understand the timing of his interactions.
But I have a First House Pluto opposite Venus, so sex and power are on the forefront of my mind! I remember that I read this woman’s chart because I wanted her to be impressed with me, and I wanted to get her to open up about her vulnerabilities. We never moved beyond friendship, but I was aware afterwards that my intentions in reading her chart were less than selfless. (Not that most intentions are.)
According to evolutionary psychology, men do whatever they can to impress women — so that they can get laid. And an understanding of astrology can be just as much a turn on as six pack abs or a penthouse apartment (depending on your tastes, of course). But it’s use can be more dangerous, precisely because the horoscope is a window into a person’s psychological makeup (or maybe even one’s Soul).
Knowledge is power, and power is an aphrodisiac. As notorious pickup artist Neil Strauss (aka “Style”) writes in The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, Chick Crack is “any spiritual or psychological subject that appeals to most women but does not interest most men, such as astrology, tarot cards, and personality tests.” You see, guys use this stuff to get women hooked, as part of the “Comfort Building” stage of the pickup.
Sex in the Astrology Community
On Pat Paquette’s Pisces Chronicles blog, astrologer Mu’Min M. Bey leaves the following comment on her post When Sex Doesn’t Sell:
The reason why straight up sex doesn’t sell in the astrology world is simple: because its biggest consumer base, the people who actually GO to astrologers for “readings” the people who hangout at booksignings at coffeehouses and conferences and buy all the Zodiac inspired do dads-are women. One can quibble about the age range, but I’ve found that the middle aged Boomers in particular, who are coming out of an empty nest and/or a divorce, and have some disposable cash on hand, are usually the targeted mainstays of the Astrology Economy. And they, as a general rule, for all their bra burning in the 60s and 70s, just don’t like to discuss their adventures in the land of a lil Bump n Grind, w/some dude accross from them at a table alone in a room. Women have n inherent sense of vulnerability, and as we know, nowhere is a woman more vulnerable than THAT.
So, we talk *around* these things you see; it kinda reminds me of Victorian Era Britain, since we want to rake the good ole US of A over its Puritanical shoales. Of course, many of these women just dying to tore up from the floor up-do you really think all the fawning over those Young Guns at spots at UAC is just about “how smart they are?”- because you go in for that one, I got some mean beachfront property a little west of for real cheap. [italics mine]
and:
all things being equal, women clients aren’t too keen to discuss sexual things w/a male astrologer, unless he finds him to be hot. Which can open a whole another can of worms…I believe that ISAR has some kind of elaborate ethics deal, but I don’t think anyone really follows it, and hey, what are the ISAR guys gonna do? So this is something that we astrologers have to take this on ourselves
Obviously, a clear line must be drawn in the sand: In a male astrologer’s professional capacity — and I’m specifically talking male professional/female client scenarios here, because these have the most potential for abuse of power — he cannot have sexual relations with a client or use his knowledge of her natal chart to seduce her.* It is important that the boundaries are clear so that the client can feel comfortable talking about sex during the consultation, because sexuality is such a key part of one’s life.
Comment below: Where does one draw the line outside of the professional relationship? If you’re dating, how ethical is it to use your astrological knowledge to impress someone? And beyond that, how do you feel about someone using their knowledge of your chart to find out the best way to seduce you?
* Obviously, these boundaries apply regardless of the astrologer’s or client’s gender. Women take advantage too!
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This is the same for psychologist’s type jobs. I learned and was struck by how much power I had and became very respectful of it many years ago. However, it is hard not to use certain perceptiveness that comes with the training in casual social situations. All one can do I think is continue not to use it for the bad and respect the other persons wishes scrupulously. Sometimes it’s a hit socially, sometimes people avoid you as thought you had xray eyes and could see their undies!!
I just had a VERY similar conversation with someone. I had said something similar: that is not only unethical, but very potentially dangerous to use a position of power..whether it be as a teacher, trainer, counselor, etc. in such a manner that it is NOT clearly disclosed to the receiver. Opening up someone’s heart, soul, feelings, or secrets without a deep respect and compassion for that vulnerability does great harm.
I’m gonna be the odd one out here, but aren’t we just a bunch of animals dressing up in “civilized” clothes, pretending that we even know what we are talking about to begin with, and further, supposing that we even truly understand the consequences of our actions?
Do we have an ethical responsibility to ourselves, and if so, wouldn’t constant “nature stunting” be wrong, like putting binding shoes on little chinese girls’ feet?
well, sag, would you rather be the human or the horse? Don’t you have a choice?
I really want to hear from the people who’ve been hit on during a reading. How did you deal with it? What impact did it have on your trust in the profession?
not hit on during a READING but during a professional session and it did impact my views of trust.
Jeffrey, its not much different than a pastor hitting on a woman who comes to him in confidence, or a counselor… at least in the context which you are talking about…which would be the wife going through a divorce, etc.
Now, if it were a laid back environment and not someone doing major soul searching…maybe not so violating.
I guess Im saying it would depend on the context.
If I was hit on during a goddamn reading, or by someone I saught out for professional advice, I would think that person is a scum.
It does seem manipulative.
However, it is hard not to use certain perceptiveness that comes with the training in casual social situations.
The line is pretty fine, I must agree! And I rarely know anyone for long without trying to finagle their birth data out of them. Mostly, I’m just curious, but sometimes I make personal decisions based on it. How could one not?
Yes, hitting on someone during a consultation would be…icky…not to mention unethical; I’d never consider it myself. However, I want to play devil’s advocate for a moment, and bring up teacher/student relationships in general.
“Using one’s power to gain the love of another is unethical.” Um, that statement may well be true, but if it is, we are all guilty of it. Whether it’s financial power, sexual power, the power of our femininity, the power of our wit and intellect, etc., we all use our power in the pursuit of love. If that happens to be the power of a mentor-figure over a student-figure, what’s the difference? There are countless archetypal precendents; the student/teacher love relationship exists not only throughout our collective imaginations, but throughout our history and present.
There’s an entire mythological cycle here (just like the Hero myth many are familiar with) and it involves a student falling in love with a teacher, then eventually growing enough in his or her own power to overthrow the mentor’s hold and take over the mantle of the mentor.
Any thoughts? Again, I’m playing devil’s advocate, but this is a very common setup in human relations, and I don’t think it should be entirely dismissed out of hand, not without some thought….
@ Jeffrey: the horse…..
@fallen-astro-angel
Then what’s the point of being a human? Aren’t you born a human?
@May
Humans are animals. Would you rather be a dog or a beagle?
See how weird that question is?
And as far as animals go, horses don’t commit genocide, so I’d rather associate with them. That would actually be a step-up.
I’ve never been hit on by an astrologer, but I’ve never been to see an astrologer either,so… However, I did try to see a therapist during college when I was really going through a difficult period in my life. I only had one session with him and it was very clear that he thought I was attractive. It was also very clear to me that nothing of value was going to come from the session. Upon meeting he said, “you seem like a perfectly well-adjusted young woman to me” and smiled from ear to ear. Not very helpful.
There is a well known story about Evangaline Adams who met her husband at the boarding house they both lived at. When she did his reading she announced to him that they were going to get married! I guess one can’t more honorable than that.
I’ve never been hit on by an astrologer (all the male astrologers I ever met were married), but I was hit on my one of college professors who was evaluating my art work. I might have gotten an A instead of B in my painting class had I taken his broad hints. However, I found his flirtations creepy.
Though I’ve done charts of people before I would date them, I wouldn’t do a reading for them. Also most men just aren’t impressed with astrological skills. They are much more impressed with other aspects of ,let say, my personality.
Hi Jeff!
I know I’m coming to the dance a bit late, but I got wind of your mention of me on your blog here after running Google for my name, which I do every so often. Good lookin’ out!
As for the subject at hand, yea, like you, I too have a high profile Venus, and had to come to grips with these things early on in my study or the Astrological Arts – and while I’m on the topic, let me ust say, that a truckload of Strauss’ ain’t got nothin’ on a seasoned astrologer. No dis to the man, but we have the Power of the Universe on our side. Does one really need anything else?
Anyway, yea, I definitely ue astrology in my conjugal considerations, what astrologer wouldn’t? And I don’t see anything wrong with it, so long as some basic rules are observed.
One, the person in your sights CANNOT BE A CLIENT. Clients are a no-no. You just do not go there. If girlfriend wants to come to you to have her chart done, and she is the BOMB, you do not, do not, DO NOT, take her on as a client/student. You do the time-honored thing of palming her off to another astrologer, aka The Referral. Makeup a really good sounding excuse, like you’re bogged down in clients, etc.,but you know an ace astrologer who could help her out. I’ve done this a number of times over the years.
I’ve learned the best defense against these sort of things is to rimply remove yourself from the Hot Zone immediately. Passing off to other peers gets you out of a jam and does them a solid and gets the gal some good tro-advice w/o putting your behind in a sling, you know what I’m saying?
As for the Astro-Seduction piece, alot of folks think you need the chart of the subject in order to make things happen, and that just ain’t so. You’ll kindly forgive me if I don’t go into much detail but I’ve done fairly well w/o ever resorting to a natal chart. Again, within certain clearly perscribed Rules of Engagement, all’s fair in love and war.
Good lookin’ out again!
Salaam
Mu
thanks my, for stopping by. I totally agree with that code of ethics.