“Pluto shows us the dark side of love. It’s up to us to face it realistically. Once Pluto’s lessons have been truly accepted, we find ourselves better able to spot fear-based manipulation, even if we’re the culprit. Eventually, forgiveness begins — not forgiveness for the person in question (they usually have to be ditched), but forgiveness for ourselves and for the whole sad, silly, bent, and beautiful human race.”

That really hit home.

“Guess what? You’ve just become the casualty of a different set of childish illusions. These illusions have to do with the subjective nature of emotions. Most of us walk around assuming that our emotional reality is the emotional reality — we know what love is, and we know we’re owed.”

This made me think of something I wasn’t sure was addressed. That both parties involved are responsible for the childish illusion, but I think that mainly the person who decided to go on a disappearing act is the one suffering from it most: to think that you can just do whatever you want to someone without taking responsibility seems to be a greater illusion than to want a solid commitment.

arrgg! i’ve learned my lesson and I hope he has learned his. funny tho, now that i’m more sure of myself he’s taking so long to ‘pop back up’.

Whyyyyyyyyy you forsake me; come back tooooo me boooo! lol

I know that when this Scorp first came along, I was willing to drop EVERYTHING for him. The minute my phone rang and it was him, the world stopped and my life revolved around our conversations, the dreams we built together and what kind of life changes I’d make for this guy, this includes relocating…well, why is this sucha bad thing? This was all done while I neglected my daughter. I’m not talking about completely neglecting her, but emotionally, I was not there for her. My sister lived with us for a short period of time, and whenever he called, that was it, I dropped everything, including my baby girl just so we could talk for hours on end. I believe this Plutonian lesson was, “It’s ok to love again – let go of how much your daughter’s dad hurt and betrayed you, treat each relationship like a fresh new palate; really think about what you want to say because once those words are uttered, you can’t take the back (I’d say things just to hurt him and not mean it. Now whenever I got upset with him, I take a couple of days to really think how I want to approach what made me upset), and most of all, love yourself but love your daughter more, never choose a guy over him.

Evidently, the lesson isn’t quite still learned yet…I still experience “You break up, you make up, you break up again, ad nauseum.” But I wonder if the cycle continues because I allow it to?

Unfortunately not everything in life is meant to last & just because something doesn’t last doesn’t mean it has no value.

Yes, but it’s still sad when you have to let go, that’s for sure.

For Anon: Oh, I think I’m a little clearer on your question.

There are several astrological indicators, and it would be too space-consuming to go into all of them here, but here are three broad places to look.

First, look at the Plutonian or Uranian influence in your own chart, and their ties to your relationship houses and planets. If you have Pluto conjunct Venus in Scorpio in your 7th, for instance, you’ll deal with Plutonian relationship issues quite a bit, possibly alternating roles at times.

Second, look to the synastry between your chart and your partner’s, and look for strong Pluto or Uranus connections, especially hard aspects. For instance, your partner’s Uranus opposed to your Venus might indicate that he or she remains reluctant to commit.

Third, check your transits. Transits of these outer planets to relationship planets or houses can trigger corresponding experiences.

Very broad answers, I know, but there are about ten thousand individual factors that might come into play. But I hope this helps somewhat….

I don’t know that there is a relationship meant for everyone that is ‘the one’, or ‘the one that is supposed to work’. A ‘relationship that is supposed to work’ may just be an illusion that we keep chasing. It may sound depressing, but I think it’s one of those realities of life that most of us don’t want to face. We grow up thinking life is going to work out a certain way, only to find out that life is under no obligation to deliver our dreams to us exactly the way we want, when we want, with whom we want. And then we get disappointed, compare ourselves with the ones who are *supposedly* living our dreams, get angry & frustrated/resentful. Sometimes I wonder why we go through life with this notion that we are entitled to having our dreams fulfilled. Maybe there is no such thing as a perfect relationship, perfect job, enough money, perfect partner. We get so caught up in what’s coming up next that we so often miss the *present*.Maybe what you have now is perfect as it is for this moment, despite it’s limitations. Because if it’s not making you happy then you will be forced to change it & in prompting you to do so/ to change/ to learn/ to grow, *it* (whatever *it* is, a broken relationship or an underpaid job or a health crisis) has served it’s purpose. Unfortunately not everything in life is meant to last & just because something doesn’t last doesn’t mean it has no value. When you have learned your lessons that you needed to learn, then maybe the same relationship changes into the one that works for you, because now you have changed your paradigms.