Pisces man retreats from Virgo woman

Chrissy included birth data for herself (chart) and her Pisces guy (chart) and writes,

I would like to know if my relationship with the Pisces man is capable of going the distance, and if so what does a Virgo woman and a Pisces man have to be willing to do to make the relationship successful?

Pisces man tends to retreat and go “missing” for periods of time and Virgo woman goes BANANAS whenever this happens. I get the feeling that I frustrate Pisces man a lot, and that is not my intentions. My main issues with Pisces man is that his actions don’t always match what he says. He says he loves me, but he seems content to go weeks at a time without taking me out on a date. What gives?

Opposites attract, as they say … but they also drive each other nuts. Virgo‘s all about the details, whereas Pisces can’t find his keys. They both share an orientation towards service. Helping others is their meeting place, and they make a great team, for Pisces provides compassion while Virgo does the case management.

But there’s way more than Sun sign compatibility to this relationship. Pisces does need time alone, as this sensitive sign gets overstimulated easily. However, your Pisces guy needs to feel independent for other reasons, and this impulse may be driving his absences. Both his love planets — Mars and Venus — are in “I want it NOW” Aries, making a 120-degree angle (“trine”) to his Moon, Jupiter and Uranus in fiery Sagittarius. His Moon (needs) requires lots o’ space, and Jupiter and Uranus are the two most excitable and adventurous planets in the solar system. He may be a peaceable Pisces, but he’s also a very restless soul who needs inspiring experiences to feed his soul.

Meanwhile, you have your Moon and Ascendant in controlling/possessive Scorpio, and Sun and Venus in risk-averse Virgo. These “yin” signs are not an ideal match for his Fire. He may feel held back by you, hence his apparent frustration. But I wonder if (on some level) you want a guy who’s occasionally missing? Your Mars-Uranus conjunction can correspond with a young man (Mars) who is distant/unpredictable (Uranus).

There are two ways to go with this: either stop trying to control him (so that he doesn’t feel he needs his space so much) or tell him it’s unacceptable to not date you on a frequent and predictable basis. The latter option is called “stating your needs.” His Fire planets could tell you you’re making too many demands on him, in which case he might split entirely. Or his Pisces Sun — which needs to be pinned down once in a while, because Water needs form — may fall into line with your expectations.

Comment below: What do you think Chrissy needs to do with her Pisces guy?

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.


  1. virgo queen says:

    lol ok…I will SAY what I have to say. First 16 years is a hell of time. Second I think you guys did your time if you said she loves you. So, whats wrong?. The only thing to me it seems like is over for you and her, to keep on doing it anymore, for whatever the reason you have. So, what is the deal or hurting?. You both got a hell of time together, on and off. After all it takes 2 to tango. Maybe she does not resent you as you do her. Or maybe she does. But there is nothing to resent when it takes alot of crap to be coming back and fwd for 16 years. Call me and find me whatever you want I can deal with that amount of emotional roller coaster for that long. I

  2. virgo queen says:

    cant deal with that amount of time in an emotional roller coaster. Because I prefer stability dont make me a emotional cowards. I can handle emotions as long as THEY seem real and are side by side with real actions, not bull shit lies and promise not properly deliver!. I think your virgo chick was to patience and SHE throw to much time in a guy that cant even appreciate that.

    ungratefull coward

  3. Sounds familiar. Similar case with me.

  4. Yes, I must say I have wasted time with too many Pisces man myself. They are way too sensitive for me. They are very unstable and always want someone to pat them on the back for encouragement. They spend too much time dreaming instead of doing! I don’t think any Virgo woman should waste their time with a Pisces man!

  5. I am a virgo woman and I am dealing with a pisces male right now as well. I know all about how they like their time alone to daydream, retreat, and figure things out. I told myself that I am okay with that. Sometimes, I’d rather be alone myself to daydream and just relax. My retreats may be for the simple reason that I just don’t feel like being bothered BUT I don’t need days to feel refreshed. Pisces do. I can talk forever when it comes to great conversation. The guy that I’m seeing does not talk much. I try to get him to talk and he just doesn’t really have much of a response. When I think that everything is cool between us he goes missing for 3-4 days. I might get an email from him telling me that he is thinking of me but as far as a phone call, forget it. I know that his how he does things so I try not to get all crazy when he finally does call. I think that is a relief to him, IDK. If I haven’t heard from him, I will call him myself. He ALWAYS answers. Most of the time he sounds very refreshed and happy to hear from me. I can sense when he doesn’t really feel like being on the phone and I understand it. You cannot change a pisces man! He is always going to need time alone, always. When we are together he is the most attentitive, sensual, perfect gentleman. See, pisces are all about physical and mental bonding. They’d rather be WITH their love interest than to talk on the phone. You will really reap the benefits of their affection and emotion. They open up. Yes, they can be difficult to understand and deal with at times but hey, I’m a virgo and can be critical as hell, LoL. We have to learn to compromise. Opposites DO attract. Any sign can work if you compromise.

  6. Im a Virgo and went out with a Pisces guy who was just like that. Disappeared and would re-appear. LOL. I was too young to care that much. What is sooo weird is that I “cheated” (i put in quotes b/c our relationship wasn’t official at that point) on him and he caught me. He was super pissed. We went on a 12 hour road trip and he made me feel like crap about it. Then he forgave me and actually started being more attentive.

  7. viciousvirgo says:

    Pisces man and Virgo woman … I have found myself in this mess of I even don’t know what it is. I know this Pisces guy for a year now. We live different cities and we see each other at least once in a month. I travel to the city where he lives on business. And he is all I could have read in the posts. When I say I am coming he reschedules everything to meet me. We go out, talk, have fun and that’s it.

    On the days we do not see each other, we talk on the phone, and we have been doing it every day for a year now. Phone companies have earned a lot on the account of our conversations. Sometimes I get fed up with this just bullshit talk and I do not call him, or text him. And that’s when the torture starts – am I angry at him? am I depressed (this is my favourite)? what is wrong with me?

    Just yesterday I did not have time to talk to him as I had lousy day and told him I would call him when I come home from work (17:30). Couple minutes after 16:30 he was calling – I sad I would call him and I did not .

    And yes, he sent me a poem concluding he is sure how I have feelings .. Is there something wrong with me?

  8. @viciousvirgo:

    Nothing is wrong. You just like the chase…and he is slowly taking it away from you by being so available and giving you exactly what you want….I believe that Virgos like a little push and pull at the same time…someone who gives you what you want sometimes but not all of the time because then that just takes the fun out of it…at least this is just my opinion

  9. Marliana says:

    Pisces men r adventurous, intelligent & luv ‘e way they share their fantasies. It’s kinda nice hanging out with them because behind their overly sensitive side; they r actually very manly. They make good friends. For lovers, yeah they make good ones too if they r in love with u I mean. Hehe.

  10. VirgoGApeach says:

    Pisces men are a strange bunch. I never realized how sensitive they are and how much encouragement they need. I’ve been with one on and off for almost a year now. And I wish that I’d known this in the beginning. It has been a very trying time for me, but he is probably one of the most caring tender and giving men I have ever known. At the same time he does have his moments where he becomes unlovely at times and that’s when I leave him alone. They need alone time and so do Virgos so I think it is a great match. Because if Virgo woman can respect Pisces man and not nag him which is hard and show him love encouragement and praise, then she will find herself having many lovely moments with the Pisces man.

  11. Very interesting comments,I have a few questions….I recently had a intimate friendship with a piscesman and I really enjoyed him as a person but was not aware that the 3-4 day hiatus was just part of the nature of a Pisces man,well he decided that we should not be intimately involved because it would freak me out wgen he would just disappear,he does not want to end our friendship just the intimacy what should I do and tes I am a Virgo woman who is very intrigued by this Pisces man?

  12. How could he think that u deserve to be treated like a jump off? It’s way to risky to be having casual sex let alone with a man that disappears. What is he doing during his hiatus? Girl, dont even worry about his whereabouts! He said that he wants to end the intimacy becuase he wants you to accept his conditions. Make him be a man of his word. Dont have sex with him ever again. The 2 of you will have the best friendship ever! Boyfriend season springs In March. Buy some magazines and choose a sassy short cut that wont be too expensive to maintain. Buy u a few colorful tops and some loafers from Aerosoles and u will be ready to take long walks with new potentials. The best way to grow is to stay out of the bedroom.

  13. Thanks Ariel,makes sense, I guess if you are casually seeing other women that could really be a problem as well as easy to remove yourself one relationship to another.The sex was actually the better part of the friendship LOL,he has his areas for improvement but I actually liked him although others saw him as a social asshole…..but you are so RIGHT avoiding any and all physical contact is the best thing for the both of us,just hard to understand a person that doesn’t want to be loved or cared for.

  14. I have the same problem. I fell head over heals for my pisces. One day out off the blue he breaks up with me when I’m there at his house with him. I know that I hurt him with something I did a few days before that but I regretted it and still do. We had a huge fight and I am an insecure virgo. He didn’t talk to me for 2 days so I was freaking out and got the feeling that everything over and when a virgo gets that feeling they give up. So I deteled him from my online chats and he was so angry, but he still picked me up the next day we spent the week together and then 4 days later since the pick up at end of week he breaks up with me. I know I made a mistake. I love him want him back and miss him so much. I become so depressed. He told me that he wants to still be friends. But not once has he spoken to me(he is back on my online chats) or made any arrangements to hang out like friends, so then why did he suggest it? I don’t put any pressure on him since the breakup I give him space. I try to talk to him once a week but he ignores me. I don’t know if I will ever see him again and this killing me.

  15. August Virgo says:

    My Pisces man and I have been friends for over 20 years. We grew up in the same neighborhood and never dated each other until this summer although there has always been a mutual attraction between us. When we were first intimate, it was a shock that carried on for about a month because we finally took our friendship to the next level and neither one of us could believe that it finally happened after all these years. We had fun and he wanted me around often. Our attraction seemed to be growing for each other and everything was great. After a month, we had our first falling out. I got angry because he was indecisive about something. He seemed to feed off of my anger and got angry himself. The next day we talked about it and got things out in the open. A couple of days later he told me that he didn’t want to be attached in a relationship because there were some things that he needed to work out within himself. We stopped talking for a day or two then started talking again. It was rocky for about a week or two then things were back to normal. During this rocky time, his sons mother (who is a cancer- they dated on and off for 5-6 years) started to cause trouble. After the two weeks, we lasted for another month. Things seemed to be going great. His sons mother interfered again and he recently cut me off saying that he didn’t want to be intimate anymore but he still wanted to be my friend.

    Although he was saying that he didn’t want to be attached earlier, his actions were saying something totally different and he kept asking me to come around. His actions showed that he wanted to be in a relationship. Confused, i went with the flow thinking that he wanted the perks without the title. Neither one of us are where we want to be in life but as a Virgo, I help out where I can. I found out later that he felt bad because he felt as if he didn’t bring anything to the table and I was doing everything. I always cooked, drove him to and from work often (he doesn’t drive), purchased some groceries for his house a couple of times as well as paid for things when we went out. He doesn’t make that much money and is swamped with responsibilities. I didn’t buy everything but I felt that we were working towards a future so if he fell short, I can help out. I assured him that while he might not have been there financially, he was definitely there mentally and emotionally. He has helped me grow as a person in that sense. I feel a strong connection to his spirit and can always tell when something is bothering him from his energy. He has a way of calming me down and just by a hug, he can melt my stress away. In the beginning, we talked about marriage and kids down to the number. Growing up, we always talked about getting married. I felt as if this was a dream come true after so long but I can’t tell if he feels the same way because his actions don’t match with his words. He doesn’t really express himself and trying to ask questions and get answers is like pulling teeth.

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