How can an Aries woman and a Scorpio man work it out?

Equality is all well and good in relationships, but it is not often a reality. There is usually a dominant partner, and the nondominant one often willingly cedes control. People with strong personalities frequently don’t want to constantly spar with someone else — they just want to rule the roost.

However, when two Mars-ruled people get together, power struggles inevitably ensue. Mars is the warrior planet. It governs our impulse to act on our needs and desires, to go out into the world and get what we want. Mars is competitive — it likes to conquer.

Although Aries and Scorpio are very different signs, they are both traditionally ruled by the red planet. (Scorpio’s modern ruler is Pluto.) Aries is a cardinal, fire sign (with a positive or masculine polarity); Scorpio is a fixed, water sign (with a negative or feminine polarity). Along the zodiac wheel, they are inconjunct, or at a 150-degree angle from each other. As far as compatibility goes, they have absolutely nothing in common. I don’t mean to dissuade any readers from this Sun-sign match, for there are many other factors beyond Sun signs that contribute to compatibility. But the Sun is the “force” of one’s personality, and surely Aries and Scorpio are a challenging match.

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Aries image by exfordy. Scorpio image by furryscaly.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. Mizz Seoulful says:

    Ok, for those of you who don’t know my story: I’m a married arian woman who has been in a relationship with a married scorpio man for the past 3 or 4 months. Everything has been great, he told me he loves me, he wants me to mother his child, ect. Well yesterday we got into our first fight. And now I see the controlling side of the scorp. I went to the movies with my female friend and he got so angry with me. He said, if I wanted to see a movie, I should of told him. Which I did tell him, but I guess he missed it or he didn’t understand (he is not from the USA and has only been here for 6 years). I don’t know what to do to cool him off. Do I leave him alone? Do I tell him that I’m sorry and it won’t happen again? He seem like he feels hurt. I’m trying everything to get him to understand that I didn’t try to hurt him intentially. He’s shutting down. I don’t know what to do. I didn’t realize how much it would hurt me if I couldn’t have him around.

  2. Ms Seoulful … All u did was go to a movie … u do not ! owe him an apology!!!!!!!!!!.. good greif .. if hes that insecure u have a major problem on your hands … my scorpio never asked me to NOT do anything … dont let yours … he will control u and u will loose his respect … IT WAS ONLY A MOVIE!

  3. @Mizz Seoulful : As you wrote that you did tell him you’re going out for a movie, I dont think you need to apologize and say that you won’t do it again. You did nothing wrong and it was a female friend who was with you.. Whenever i go out with a friend i told my scorp about it but it wasnt a big deal for him if i forgot to tell him. He should not control of your whereabouts as long as you dont do anything wrong…Just like what G says It was only a movie…

  4. mizz seoulful says:

    Well, he apologized today for being so jealous. He said (and I’ve heard) that most haitian men are like that when their in love.

  5. Well my scorpio finally called wednesday night … i actually missed the call and he did not leave a message… but i sent him a text thursday to tell him i saw where he called and hoped all was ok… he sent me a happy thanksgiving yesterday..( i know he will not just suddenly strut back into my life he is too proud .. he will move slowly back in ) . this is the first i have heard from him in about a month and i dont want to seem to anxious…. i will let him come to me and maybe he will have more to offer this time .. he knows what i want … we will see… maybe he was just in a holiday spirit…LOL… dont know … time will tell .. any tips or advice how to handle this ??

  6. I want him back but i dont want to seem to anxious or make it too easy … i think thats the mistake i made with him last time … he knew id always make myself available for him… dont want to discourage him but at the same time i dont want him to think im gonna make this too easy … understand?

  7. mizz seoulful says:

    @ G, I know what u mean. Dnt wanna seem desparate but u crave him. My scorp is on leave until the 13th UGH!!! So he do the family thing on leave and I dnt initiate contact b/c I dnt want to start any suspicion with his wife. But he text me today. He is a customer @ my job, so I could call him from work. As much as I LOVE talking to him everyday, I dnt call him. I dnt want to be too clingy but I want him to know I care deeply for him and would never put him on the back burner

  8. Well he finally told me yesterday that he missed me … but he felt like i take things too far sometimes… yes i know im impulsive and when i want answers i want answers and he is really good at being secretive… as we all know … i have a hard time with that … he said he wanted to take it one day at a time… he has extraordinary will power ANDi have none when it comes to him… i have to b more patient with him but i need him to open up more how can i do it without being pushy .. i always know when ive been too pushy and i always apologize … but at some point he will not b able to keep accepting apologies… its only because he gets quiet and instead of just answering me he gets quiet… how do i deal with that without feeling like im never getting my way .. or being a pushover ???

  9. I also said in a previous post that i dont want to b too available … and i dont but i would rather b with him than any where else … but i dont want my life to revolve around him… its why i would get upset .. all the waiting and wondering … it not like he cant get ahold of me if he wants to … i just have to keep living until he can make more of a commitment

  10. Angel_eyes says:

    Hi aceavatar,

    Sorry to be slow, thank you for the sweet thought of even apologizing, and more. =) The girl that is under your keen observation, and is in your heart is young, and sounding like she is also willfull. It may appear to us, that her desire is to be with her former lover. She will understand, and needs to look forward to accepting he is not her lover anymore, that just because he does not want to be with her does not mean she has to go and prove herself that she is the one for him. Part of an Arian is to go against what everyone would want you to do – Arians by generalization are trailblazers, or pioneers, leaders and …. independent. She may not listen to reason about not chasing the guy, but with her Ego (which I think of all signs is the biggest ) she wants to maybe save her face in the situation. Perhaps being who she is, she cannot help it to not go after what she believes she wants and with directness and strength too. Who knows she probably has reasoned it out to herself that her ex boyfriend is not who she really wants to be with – but, when she thinks of some of the good – it feels like to her that it is all good again. Like my friend says, perhaps she is “mentally f*cking* herself into thinking this guy is good for her. Another thing about this which helps me makes sense of her is that she is also impulsive, not thinking before she can act. Therefore, consequences of actions, and even getting what she wants is not really likely to happen – because that requires a plan, as well as the patience to carry it through. Probably after she calls him, she then regrets it… or, after she sends him an email she then regrets that…Knowing that you like her, when she is still thinking about this other guy probably is a lot for her. If she liked you in return, then it would be different and she’d forget easily. She needs to want to get over the other guy first. When I had my first break up, I was very similar to her where I would tell (lets say his name is Boo) Boo how much we should be together and how I had a plan to make it work out between us. That option was better than feeling pain. She may be feeling a lot of sadness, anger, and grief about being broken up and is looking like she is stronger because she seems to be chasing the guy, going on trips, and such. If anything, really just be a friend to her and do ask how she is doing, maybe even give her some push to go take care of herself, and journal. I’m sure you know the heart ache she must be in. Scorpios are best at tuning into emotions, such a gift. And, she may also not listen to you knowing that she deleted you from her Facebook, unless she knows you are not expecting anything out of your generosity to her. It sounds like because of the tightness of your families that you will see each other again. I’d say for now show her you are looking out for her feelings, and once you start seeing her smiling (even in her heart) towards you then maybe there can be more between you. Be open to her about what you like in girls, where you see yourself going in life, how awesome it is that your families are so close, how some girls find you attractive, share with her your feelings about what she is doing when she is ready. And, then maybe she will begin to have her keen observations on you. Keep us updated, good luck =)

  11. Ok so no word since sunday from him … im trying to give him space but then sometimes with him i dont know if he wants me to say something or not??? he confuses me so… im not going to say anything ill give til saturday and see if i hear from him… then i may just say hello … we’ll see

  12. Angel_eyes says:

    … Hi G, what I notice your doing is that you are thinking too much about what he may like, or want from you – when you should be focused on just having love for him. It is the Arian way to think outward, I mean for others, even about others – so try to come into yourself where it can be cozy, warm, loving, and bright inside. =) Let him decide himself what he needs to do, if he’s going to call you, and I’m pretty sure he will since he really does have feelings for you. . . It’s obvious. =)

    Yes, he may not call you for days (a friend told me he does not need this constant connection with his gf though she wants it, then they talk everyday thought I think it will get booooooooring to do that =) … he he ), but use those days to give yourself a piece of mind too. It does not sound possible, I hear you saying ? (lol) – I know, though if you just trust him ( here is the big challenge) then you should have less and less to worry about when he is not in contact with you.

    None of what he is doing outside of your relationship is in your hands. It is only in his. And, remember you have the choice to wait in agony – like you (and, I am sure I do ) all the time. Or, find a way to trust and have a piece of mind.

    Just an update, my scorpio also does the “disappearing act” and finally I thought I would give it up, from the frustration – until I realized I wasn’t trusting him, and also I needed to learn this, and respect my true feelings inside (which often times my thoughts weren’t good) sometimes were upsetting me, but only because of what I lead myself to imagine. I believe our imaginations are VERY creative – being Aries, so let’s be more realistic.

    He loves you – get a haircut, foot massage, read a good book, invite your friends out with you. Enjoy yourself, but maybe instead of saying just “hello” you can say that you are worried about him, and wonder if everything is all right with him? To show him you care…

    Good luck, G!

  13. Angel-eyes thanks for that ..im just tired of being ignored he gets in his moods and nothing i say matters if he wants to talk he wants me available if he wants to see me he wants me available … well i have needs too …. but i told him yesterday i just could not wait for him anymore … i have other men wanting to date me and so im going for it… i am tired of begging for attention from him… i love him and i know he cares for me … but im settling for his crumbs and im better than that .. i told him when he had more to give to contact me …i know i could have made him incredibly happy .he says i am the olyone he can talk to and that he works from sun up to sun down to aoid his wife NOT my problem..but he is married and i should let him deal with that before expecting a future with him …. time will tell i guess if it was real it will happen … i will remain his friend if he wants that but he said he could not be JUST my friend … so what will b will b .. it really breaks my heart .

  14. Angel_eyes says:

    oh, I see…. G I understand…. =)

  15. aceavatars says:

    Hey Angel eyes….sorry for replying u late…1st of all a Very happy new year to u :) …i js saw ur reply today…infact i shld aplogize agn for being so late…i js logged in over here today…ok nw the latest update is tht …she i dint do anything ..neithr i called her…nor did i message her …as she had said dont cl or message whn in october…whn she ws in deep shit of thinking abt her ex…who till today hasnt come and she is dreaming….lolz…nw 2mrw morng im goin to call her…i donno whethr she wld pick my cl or nt …i did message her on her phne wishing new year…bt whn i went on facebook i saw..she had blocked me on facebook even aftr i wsnt in her friend list….she blocked me….for no reason…and she did that before christmas…and till 22-23 december i ws able to search her and see her profile pic only….im surprised that whn i hvnt approached her and havnt done anything now..and dint cl as per her saying…thn sitting ovr thr in another country …why did she block me….i doono whnethr i shld mention this 2mrw in her call if she picked up…bt yea…im clng her to wish her a happy new year….god help me…cz i luv her a lot ..i wil wait for ur reply..and this time ..i wont get late in replying…:) thanx

  16. mizz seoulful says:

    So its been 5 months since my scorp and I started dating. I must say that it is a lot less lustful than it started but we love each other dearly. We may not ever have each other to ourselves but lifes good

  17. sassyphrassy says:

    Question for those who want to answer?
    I meet a scorpio guy on a dating site and he is saying he loves me. I told him he doesnt love with me. but he continues to say he loves me [he days its a religious thing for him] but he says it everytime we hang up by phone now. He says that I came at a certain time in his life when he was really down and depressed, but by talking to him a few day on this dating site made him hopeful again. So since then he has been telling me he loves me on the site and by phone. He went as far as closing his account on the dating site where we met and said he has found what he was looking for and there was no use of looking any further.
    I am not gonna lie, I started liking him almost immediately. He was so alluring with his words too. I could really feel his words talking to him online. It’s weird I know, but now we are talking about meeting.
    He has a lot of energy Like he is jumping off the walls most of the time, but I can tell he likes his time to himself and calls me when he isn’t in a moody dissipation maybe. He is going through something I sense. And I want to be there for him. Everything is so weird, but I know there is something there with him I just want to get to know him much better.
    Somebody talk to me and tell me what you all think.

  18. sassyphrassy says:

    Question for those who want to answer?
    I meet a scorpio guy on a dating site and he is saying he loves me. I told him he doesnt love me. but he continues to say he loves me [he days its a religious thing for him] but he says it everytime we hang up by phone now. He says that I came at a certain time in his life when he was really down and depressed, but by talking to him a few day on this dating site made him hopeful again. So since then he has been telling me he loves me on the site and by phone. He went as far as closing his account on the dating site where we met and said he has found what he was looking for and there was no use of looking any further.
    I am not gonna lie, I started liking him almost immediately. He was so alluring with his words too. I could really feel his words talking to him online. It’s weird I know, but now we are talking about meeting.
    He has a lot of energy Like he is jumping off the walls most of the time, but I can tell he likes his time to himself and calls me when he isn’t in a moody dissipation maybe. He is going through something I sense. And I want to be there for him. Everything is so weird, but I know there is something there with him I just want to get to know him much better.
    Somebody talk to me and tell me what you all think.

  19. Im an Aries woman and my boyfriend is a scorpio man. I have to say that I highly disagree with quite a few things in this article lol. One thing I would especially like to point out is the SEX! lol. The sex between my boyfriend and I is AMAZING. Both of us love the emotional intimacy that we share when we are together in and out of the bedroom. And in the bedroom I do let him dominate me, in fact, I prefer it that way. He is my king and I’m his queen. Yes, we are VERY different, but we see it as being each other’s other half. He completes me and I complete him. He has what I don’t and vice versa.

  20. @aries, i totally agree with you, i also felt that me and scorpio were a good match together. at the same we were different and so similar.he was my everything but anymore since i learnt that he was up to stuff after 2 years. sadly, it didn’t work out but i have no resentments against him and wish him well. men come and go.

  21. Well this is an interesting one for me I was asked out for a drink by an aries female. now this female I have always had a thing for the past 10 yrs or so we both are divorced 2 kids yadda yadda . I always thought we were too opposite but after reading this and some of your comments im really unsure now. .. LOL oh lets see how this goes

  22. Scorpio lover says:

    Mizz Soulful. Do not be discouraged. I am an Aries and have been dating a Scorpio man for almost 4 years. After many quarrels even ugly fights, I have learned that Scorpio men hate not knowing what’s going on. Although he is secretive himself, he wants to know everything because that way he feels like he is control of everything and everyone. Even if its as a small as a bean, let him know. Let’s just put it this way, Scorpio men love to worry and get get worked up over something as worthless as a utensil tool. That’s just how they are. I never ask permission but i say “Hey baby. Im going to the bar for a spell with the girls, would you like to join us?”. They love to know what’s going on because they feel that if you constantly honest with them, they can trust which is a very big step. Once they feel they can trust, its all easy street from there. Sometimes it may feel that they are the worst kind out there but in reality I do not know where I would be at this moment without him.

  23. Hello , am AZiZ from Tunisia , I have been dating a Aries Women Online for almost month , and we decide to have Vacation together for two weeks in Thailand …. I didn’t read before about Aries women personality , ( Big Mistake ) I know … But I need help here I don’t wanna lose this girl for stupid small conversation last night . How can I fix it up ?? And make it work out ???
    We still have 13 days :( to return home . I apologies and try to explain my main point ,,,
    But here we are start fight again . OMG I can’t believe how this happening with me
    I try to satisfy her by all way , I want her feel happy in this trip …….

    What should I do ?

  24. Well my experiance is that me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 months now and we were happy seeing each other all the time and practically addicted to each other. So i bring up that i want to take dance classes because its a hobby i have at school and im about to finish high scool btw hes older than me but anyways he says he never wants me to step into a dance class because he is very jealous and if i o he will break up with and he dos not want to change his mind and he said if it happens our breakup will be absolute and he will not revisit it and i love him and care for him like he does for me but i dont want him to take something i love away for his selfishness and his jealousy he thinks guys will flirt with me and be disrespectful towards me so what do i do , do i find a compromise or just end it which would be hard for me to do….???? help!!

  25. Martin McGhee says:

    Im a scorpio man and this is my first time dating a aries woman i never knew how they can we been dating for 6 months and i fell in love with her but i have bad habits of saying dum stuff im not a sexiest person but she sometimes take my comments and sexiest we just broke up 2 days ago i dont want anyone else she is the one for me she has given me so many chances im out wilds and jokers what do i do. I want her back i cant see myself without her she is my true love anybody helppppp!!!!!!!

  26. I’m a Scorpio and I fell in love with an Aries lady last year and it’s the most love I’ve ever felt for a woman. To hell with whether we are compatible or not! Every day is a gift from heaven!!! wtf. life is short!

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