Capricorn man loses stamina in the bedroom, hasn’t called since

anonomys writes,

I’m separated with 2 kids and i joined yahoo personals. This guy Capricorn found me and sent me a wink so i responded and we hit it off instantly!! It’s now been a month. he’s told me he’s scared and he feels comfortable with me. our chemistry is great! the problem is he’s separated with 2 boys and i think he might be confused. we’ve had 4 dates but texting and calling all the time. I feel like i’ve known him forever and he says the same to me. he also says that it’s effortless with me. he told me he doesn’t understand how i came into his life. I feel like he does like me and is attracted to me but this past weekend when we were together he left me feeling rejected. We were having sex and he lost his stamina. He continued to be sweet and caress me but then in the morning he became aloof. Then he asked me if i was mad about what happened because i seemed off. I responded no and left soon after. He walked me out, kissed me, and hasn’t called me since. That was yesterday morning. He hasn’t missed a day yet.

I know he’s confused and he has a lot on his plate. i don’t know what to do. i’m not going to contact him. is that right? do you think he’ll contact me or is he cutting his loses? if i don’t hear from him, should i let him know how i felt?

Your Capricorn boyfriend (view chart) has Mars — planet of sexuality and the male ego — in well-controlled (and long-lasting) Scorpio. With a placement like this, it is possible that losing his erection during the sexual act is a rare occurrence. Scorpio is a fixed sign, which suggests determination and the ability to “carry it through” until the end.

There are many reasons why a guy might lose his hard-on. Anxiety is a frequent cause. He may have put pressure on himself to perform — and as a Capricorn, he probably has high expectations of himself. But sometimes a guy can lose it if the moment just doesn’t feel right — his body simply communicates his feelings about the relationship.

Over the weekend, there was a Grand Earth Trine, which means that three planets were in Earth signs, all making supportive 120-degree angles to each other. Pluto has recently entered Capricorn, Saturn just stationed direct at 1 degree Virgo, and Venus recently entered Taurus. Your guy’s Mars is at 1 degree Scorpio, so Venus opposed it while Saturn and Pluto are (still) sextiling it. The Venus-Mars influence would have been great for lovemaking, as an opposition between the planets of love and sex creates steam — and Taurus and Scorpio are two of the sexiest signs in the zodiac. However, Saturn and Pluto are both heavy planets. Their sextile to his Mars wouldn’t create lots of stress, but they still have an influence.

Saturn apparently stopped moving backwards this past Friday. Anytime a planet stations retrograde or direct, its archetypal energy is potent. Saturn is your guy’s ruling planet, so he would be especially sensitive to its movement. A Saturn-Mars contact can relate to the restriction or obstruction of desire or sexual potency. I imagine this is the culprit. Saturn didn’t cause his “lack of stamina” to happen — we’d have to look at the details of his life to see what’s going on, and as I don’t have his exact birth time, I don’t know what house Saturn is transiting in his chart. But a Saturn station can bring a feeling of deficiency in whichever house it transits.

Regardless, he probably feels shame about what happened, as well as anger — at himself, maybe even you if he can’t “own it.” I suggest you be honest with him. Just tell him that you’re OK with what happened, that you find him vital and sexy. That you’re sure both of you are nervous and excited about where this relationship is going. And that you want to to be there for him to talk about his fears. You (view chart) can do this — you’re a Cancer, after all. And with a Sun-Saturn conjunction, a Cap is an appropriate match for you. So don’t let him run away!

~ Jeffrey

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. Cappy Cat says:

    We’re perfectionists, and men, they have this reputation they have to uphold in the bedroom….he’s too ashamed to call in fear of screwing it up AGAIN…because then, he would lose face.

  2. Anonymous says:

    OMG the same scenarios happened to me over the weekend. I started to think something was wrong with me. In the end I realized he was embarrassed and thats why he hasnt called regardless i changed my number so if he ever decided to come around, He couldnt get through to me oh well say la ve :)

  3. bring him out of the dark, i am a capricorn, i know what this guy is going thru… just make your move and gain his trust, you’ll see love from him you’ve never seen from any one before, just pull him out of the dark place he is in now !

  4. Cappy cat is spot on. We are perfectionists, once we screw up there is really no hope, until another encounter with someone goes well resutling to a boost in confidence.

  5. louise Caliro says:

    I have been seeing a capricorn man for about 2 weeks. He is so compatible with my taurus. However, I have never been with a capricorn man ever and it is exhausting! When we are together it is great. During the week, he never calls or text unless I do it first. I usually know where I stand with my man but this one is different. Should I continue to work at it? Or should I just throw in the towel. I can see myself with this man for a long time. But everything is always so vague!!! HELP!!!!!

  6. Concflicted Chic says:

    Well Caliro,
    I’m a Capricorn Woman, I know myself and I’m pretty familiar with my Capricorn nature.
    Capricorns need to be VERY RE-ASSURED that you want them before they pursue you, Rejection is the WORST treatment for a Capricorn. Problem is you won’t know when their feeling rejected or hurt, because a Capricorn will just turn cold and shutdown, and you’ll have to do a lot of making up, compensating and redeeming yourself to get the Capricorn to open back up.
    I say alot of times that nothing turns me off more than just thinking that this persons feelings may not be mutual. And that’s why we really never make a first move- afraid of rejection. We want to know that you want us first, And when we know that someone really wants us unconditionally, Then your gonna get some seriously passionate lovin’, and you just need to be ready.

  7. chileowoman says:

    i have this FWB capricorn guy…im a leo…well we hooked up and it was great!…i just dontknow where we stand now…do i contact him, or wait?!…i expressed that i was satisfied but not to the entire extent…i want to tell him how i felt…like more than fantasmic…shoule i share that w/ him? i just want to know if we are on the same page….any insight is greatly appreciated thanks.

  8. Cap Female Sunshine says:

    OMG….True True True
    I agree…Capricorn Males do this! It happened twice!!!
    I haven’t heard from them since!
    That is why…I gave up on Capricorn guys…Lol

    They are the most complicated!!!

  9. you guys are making me giggle… i love the posts here. haha so open and expressive. :-) i love it.

  10. I dated a capricorn man for three months. I am a pisces and gave him lots of affection. This guy was the most complicated ever. They never show their emotions, you cannot read them. In the beedrom he would just lose his stamina, and it made me feel like crap . I waited long enough to be appreciatted, cared for, understood. He only thinks of himself, always and if you ever try to talk to him he just says that women are mental. A one sided relationship does not work for me, this guy was hell

  11. LibraLady says:

    I feel so sad for this poor guy after reading the post. I think he needs some nurturing love and reasurance that he is not a failure to the relationship. I can understand the woman feeling hurt that he didn;t call, but I think he is scared to, if I were her, I would try to find him and tell him that I love him and the sex didn;t mean as much as his love or his companionship. The poor guy probably thinks he let her down and can never face her again, I would probably hug him untill he stopped being so silly. He needs that kind of reasurance that our moms gave us when we were young and felt like the whole world was out to hurt us, but not mom. Thats what this poor guy needs.

  12. I pray the cap I have been seeing for 6 mos now would leave me alone. :-( The kind of approach he has on me is not warm. I feel a cold energy with him. I told him we are better off as friends and he needs to be with another woman. He just says “I know what I want and I’m crazy about you.” But he does not approach me like an Aries man. I like a mature aries. Passionate and open. My Venus is in Aries. My moon is in Cancer. Sun Taurus. Ascendant Taurus. We get along but I like a warm energy. I really love him but he has other issues. I care about him deeply but he needs to clear some of his personal issues with his home life (ex gf with whom he has a child, court battles for custody). I don’t like stressful relationships. I am used to my solitude and if I am to be with a man, I would like it to be free of angry ex’s and other compromising matters. And he needs to focus more on his little boy, given the troublesome situation with his ex gf (or is she really just an ex gf? or could be a soon to be ex wife?) Who knows. I pray he will leave me alone finally.

  13. iive had a cappy go soft on me 2x and there wont be a third time. i felt so less than after both experiences. ugh

  14. As a medical practitioner, it’s really normal for guys to lose their sexual stamina – even while doing it. It’s true that anxiety can be a cause of his loss of sexual appetite. It’s really embarrassing for a guy to lose his hard on while having sex. He’s partner might think he lost interest in her, maybe that’s why he became aloof the next morning.

  15. I agree with the anxiety part.
    The capricorn guy I dated initiated for sex and then for some reason, while we were doing it, he recalled “pre-marital sex” is against Christianity and “it” just became flaccid. We stopped having sex, chatted for 10 minutes…. and then “it” became hard again? I guess he managed to shut his conscience and then we did it again. Later he told me he was anxious because of his religious beliefs but like most men, they can’t control it no matter how disciplined they are~

  16. @starry,

    i really had no idea caps were so spiritual and religious. the cap i was with said the same thing, a battle between his spiritual journey and his loins.

  17. lol, if the sex is dead, why the hell would we call you back? If we do it means a. we really love you
    or b. we hate ourselves. end of discussion

  18. @ All…if you talk to a Cap guy about his marriage and family goals, he’ll feel more comfortable about having pre-marital sex, because then he at least gets the impression that you don’t plan on having pre-marital sex with him forever or view him as just a FWB. Cap guys love talking about their marriage plans, but in today’s society it’s such a taboo subject for women. So women are kinda barred from bringing up the marriage discussion just as men (due to the stalking laws) may feel their hands are tied when it comes to chasing a woman or may end up looking like a stalker or a weak willed man.

    The dating game is totally out of the box these days and you really have to think outside of the box in order to survive it. lol

  19. it happened to me too!!!Now I think it was coz of his wondering if our relationship has any chance to be continued…We were in bed being intimate but didnt want to do ‘that’ yet, anyways, we got so crazy hot and wanting each other that things started to get out of control, once we decided to go all the way he lost his stamina too (nice expression) and things felt weird.I caressed him hugged kissed tenderly.he shut down.The next day we went to see his parents and all that.Since then everything started to go down the hill…we’re not together anymore..
    :((I posted under cancer/cap earlier

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