Comments on: Bad Boys: The Uranus-Ruled Relationship

By: Fiona Haliburton

Fiona Haliburton — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 18:59:34 +0000

I had a relationship with a bad-boy that was the most amazingly intense and spontaneous thing I’ve ever experienced. An astrologer explained this (the general influence of Uranus) to me once – it was during a special rare Uranus transit and I also didn’t contact my parents for awhile, they didn’t know where I was for months and I liked it that way. I was 25 and having the time of my life but with absolutely no consideration of the consequences. Years later I’m still affected by this past transit’s drastic end, which was a real bring-down and quite traumatic. A lot of other people seemed to be just in my way. i went away from that experience with a real bitterness that was almost unknown to me, the depth of it and the kind of… humbling and confusing, unfinished feeling it left me with. As if I was not able to finish what i went to that place to do. Thinking i could bury it and forget it was not really healthy for me. As it turned out.

my birthday is Dec 16 1963 and this happened in the spring of 1989. I ended it and always regretted it actually, but part of me has never let it go. I haven’t felt free much since then. In fact I think i failed to take proper advantage of the transit and suffered for it (Uranus is my planet and I am very impulsive, freedom-loving). He may have been a bad boy, but my Uranus-transit bad boy was the bad-boy i wish I could have back, and all the other bad boys in my life, well… meh. But with him, the attraction will always be there because I’ll just never know what could have been. And I called my parents, in the end, because I wanted my Christmas presents. Big mistake!!!

Just in the last couple of weeks I’ve become consumed with guilt over this 20-years-buried relationship (I usually obsess over past lovers, but him i never did – about 2 years ago i realized i was probably in love with him. slow, eh?). Why? It must be Uranus. What happens when Pluto – which will be almost exact to my moon in late Sag – and Uranus – which i’m guessing will be in late Aries – go Direct? Could it be … anything? I have been hoping for freedom from the constricting conditions of the last 20 years.

***
By the way i THINK my bad boy is ALSO Uranus and Pluto ruled like me

I believe he was born on May 23rd, 1971 (yes i robbed the cradle, but he was 6′3″ and fairly experienced – and i was emotionally about 10.)

By: clio brown

clio brown — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 08:51:13 +0000

very wonderful blog on the uranian influence and the “bad boy”. thank you! what i’d like to point out is that the “bad boys” (or girls) get involved with those who are not bad like themselves. why? for the thrill of power and control? i think not. they are not plutonian, but under the influence of the freedom changeability planet… so why do they again and again hook up with those who will fall for them who they are supposedly indifferent to? what are these people trying to learn? what do they seek on a karmic level? i think it may be a lesson about the steadfast nature of love…

and what of these poor “victims” who love the uranian “bad boy”? what is the purpose of this? my feeling is that it is a lesson in UNCONDITIONAL love. yes. those who are attracted again and again to this type are wanting, and mostly unaware of this, of learning how to be completely in the moment. not to want more, but just to enjoy what is…. this is the beautiful lesson these characters can bring to those hapless enough to fall for them. the beauty of not expecting anything in return, yet allowing oneself to feel love… hey, i’m not talking doormat here, as in lack of respect or gross mistreatment, but for those who love this uranian type, with their seeming absolute selfish indifference “after the lovin’…”, it can open a beautiful doorway to spiritual development. the relationship can also serve to clarify what one DOES require in a serious partnership just by virtue of experiencing its lack, too!

of course, that said, one has to be fairly spiritually aware and open to the possibility of gaining something completely different from what you went into the relationship to get…

at any rate, just another view from a scorpio sun with aquarius descendant… ;D

By: The Astrology of the Promise Of Marriage in Your Chart « Starry Night Astrology

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 12:03:01 +0000

[...] The Moon–The Astrology of How You Feel Bad Boys–The Uranus Ruled Relationship [...]

By: Karen

Karen — Sat, 31 May 2008 07:19:00 +0000

Angelineelse said:

Men who are "bad boys" .... or "stoic" .... or just "detached" are just being who they are, they are like John Wayne.

But not the women...we are heartless, icy, spinster-like...and everything a woman shouldn't be. Growing up I never thought I would feel this way but I do!!

Oh I can identify for sure Angleine.I've been used for my outrageous qualities--and abused for same, too!
One more thing, that's "not allowed"
is so-called promiscuity.
A very sexual man is just being a man-maybe a heartbreaker--but he's still "cool."
A woman enjoys sleeping around --and even other women call her slut whore and hussy.
(sigh)

By: angelineelise

angelineelise — Fri, 30 May 2008 15:08:00 +0000

***But what they do is find someone else, a man who has obvious qualities that she doesn't know how to access in herself.
While she might just need to set some boundaries with others or not allow others to take advantage of her so much--she instead finds a man who seems to be strong and irreverent--because she woud like to be a *little* bit more so.****

Karen, you seriously, SERIOUSLY just described over half the dudes I've dated!! They get drunk off the excitement and rebellious nature of our relationship only to wake up one day and start trying to corral me into something I'm not or becoming uptight about the way that I live.... ;( Then I leave them as they make me feel bad about myself.

These guys expected me to start "calming down" and getting more focused on the relationship when I made it clear from the start where my priorities were.

I have been asked to get married at least a couple of times I'm sure because I think the men think once I marry them I'll "settle". Terrifying! (Was engaged 2x before my marriage..turned down one proposal outright.)I relate to many more men than women in relationship issues!!

The hardest part of my uranus influences is I feel my actions cause reactions that make me feel gender oppressed. Men who are "bad boys" .... or "stoic" .... or just "detached" are just being who they are, they are like John Wayne.

But not the women...we are heartless, icy, spinster-like...and everything a woman shouldn't be. Growing up I never thought I would feel this way but I do!!

By: Karen

Karen — Fri, 30 May 2008 10:42:00 +0000

I like this article too.(htough Jeffrey, excuse me, but that little boy has a flopsy-mopsy hair non-cut that looks more like a kid in the 60s who did not get a haircut because it was going to get evne longer–or,a boy in any time periuodwith parents who let it go for awhile before they have his hair cut.70s indeed.;-)
Anyway, I understand this article to mean that those women and men who are most affected by a bad boy are being affected by a Uranian transit, or a Uranian aspect in their charts(I have 5).
I know bad boys are not always inspiring or all that unusual, but they do break the rules because they don’t obey the law nor do they care about other’s feelings.
And that still corresponds to non-conventional and Uranus–but again–while *he* may be Plutonian or,even a Scorpio, for example, the *tie* is Uranian.
There are still many many women who would probably be happiest if they could find their inner rebelious nature or, maybe need to seek their
inner male.
But what they do is find someone else, a man who has obvious qualities that she doesn’t know how to access in herself.
While she might just need to set some boundaries with others or not allow others to take advantage of her so much–she instead finds a man who seems to be strong and irreverent–because she woud like to be a *little* bit more so.
This guy may though be a poor choice for a *secure* relationship.

By: Starry Night Astrology

Starry Night Astrology — Fri, 30 May 2008 09:36:00 +0000

Jeffrey says: “And yet she marries him.”

Yeah, at his second Saturn Return. How about that one!

By: Laura F. Walton

Laura F. Walton — Fri, 30 May 2008 06:34:00 +0000

Thanks, Beth! It’s a great topic, and I’ve enjoyed all the responses. The urge to reject the status quo is almost lionized in Western society– our heroes are those who have the guts to fight for what they believe in, even if it means leaving behind those they love, or facing societal retribution– your Indiana Jones example is the perfect illustration. It’s no wonder we fall for them in relationships!

By: Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner — Thu, 29 May 2008 15:52:00 +0000

And yet she marries him.

By: Starry Night Astrology

Starry Night Astrology — Thu, 29 May 2008 09:30:00 +0000

April and Angelineelise,

Thank you for providing some very illustrative examples of Uranian manifestations!

Laura F. Walton,

You are on point, every single paragraph. I loved your response I've tried to think of clients involved in a Uranian type relationship, where the love interest didn't have a strong Uranian energy, just represented it by virtue of being present, and I couldn't think of one. And of course as you, Jeffrey and Angelineelise point all, Uranian energy is all very impersonal, and the Uranian ruled person never means to hurt anyone. The you-can-come-along-if-YOU-want-to-BUT-I-am-not-responsible-for-the-results attitude does lay the responsibility on the "Uranian-ee". But this is a relationship, right? Give and take, you and me, to have and to hold, etc., etc. I submit that when you enter into relationship with someone that goes into the sharing of bodies as well as of minds that the stakes are upgraded. No matter what the planetary influences you have a responsibility to treat the other person with caring and respect for their feelings. This is so difficult for the Uranian ruled, because as you point out, the level of emotional engagement is much different. I'm not saying it is wrong. It is what it is. The lesson for the Uranus person is to become aware of the effects their actions have on other people's emotions and respond appropriately.

Let's take for example the character Indiana Jones, whose chart I delineated on my AE blog (before "Crystal Skulls" premiered). Indy has Uranus in Sagittarius inconjunct his Sun, We've seen through the movies how he solves sticky emotional problems by beating the streets or in his case any convenient jungle path. In "Crystal Skulls" Miriam pointedly asks him, "What trail of human wreckage have you left behind?" He admits "A few." Awareness, finally. But at what cost?

Bad boys never realize the emotional cost, and that's what makes them an unhealthy choice at any time.