Aries woman is torn between Gemini first love and Sagittarius man
May 29, 2008 by Jeffrey Kishner
I have been with my Gemini first love for three years and although at first it was a turbulent relationship, full of ups and downs, it has calmed down to a respectful, comfortable and affectionate friendship feeling. During this relationship, I have felt the happiest I have ever been and have noticed a difference in my quality of life, however, always in the back of my mind, I have been restless and secretly daydreaming about other romances.I have never cheated on my bf and although he insists he has never either and I believe what he says at the time, a part of me still believes he is hiding something and may even have a different side to him altogether. Also, he has the ability to dominate my mind which is part of my devotion to him but could also be part of my distrust to him? He has also been very strong and reliable for me, something which I will never forget.
Anyway, recently I have been listening more to myself about wanting to move on and trust in my own instincts more. Even though I fear I could be making a huge mistake. I have been talking to a Sagittarius man who promises a world of adventure but who I also have reservations about. I am not sure I will feel for him as much as I did for my first love. Could you look in to both their charts and tell me what I should do? Does my new sagittarius man have real promise for the future, or is my current Gemini bf the one who is truly for me?
I am confused and feel my life is being affected badly by my constant feelings on this subject.
Madame~Mystique,
Transiting Uranus — the planet of liberation and sudden change — is creeping up on a conjunction to your natal Venus, planet of love and relationship. This is a classic transit for revitalizing one’s love life. If you want to make a current relationship work during a Uranus transit, you need to shake up any stagnant patterns, bring in a sense of space so that each partner can experience their own individuality. If there is too much resistance to this process, the relationship can shatter. So regardless of whether you choose the Gemini or the Sagittarius, remember that it is natural to feel wanderlust at this time.
Uranus will exactly conjoin your Venus in March 2009, then again in September, and finally in February 2010. The fact that you’re feeling a desire to move on now suggests that, come next year, you’ll either make a radical decision about your love life, or something unexpected will occur in that area.
Compatibility
(Advanced readers can view synastry biwheels for the querent with the Gemini man and with the Sagittarius man.)
Your Comfort Zone
Your Moon is the planet of emotions, and its placement indicates what you need to feel comfortable. It is in Sagittarius, the sign of travel and exploration. The Sag guy promises a world of adventure, but why do you need a guy for this — unless you want a companion when you skip town? As all three of you were born in the same city, I assume that you’re all still living there. You might feel more at home somewhere other than where you were raised. Gemini is a more local sign, and this man may very well be happy where he is, staying on top of gossip about the neighbors. The Sag, on the other hand, might feel drawn to another country — perhaps attending University. (All three are in their early twenties.)
The Sag’s Mercury — planet of communication — is conjunct your Moon. He really understands what you’re feeling. The Gemini’s Mars is opposite your Moon, which could bring on difficulty when he acts in a way that’s goes against your feelings.
In the Bedroom
Sexually, I think relations would be steamier with the Gemini. His Gemini Mars tightly squares your Pisces Venus. The square can of course lead to conflict — especially since his flightiness is incompatible with your romanticism — but the tension is great for erotic release. In addition, his Aries Venus conjoins your Sun. He’s smitten with you!
With the Sag, your sex and love planets are in signs that just don’t see eye-to-eye. Your Pisces Venus with his Aquarius Mars; and your Gemini Mars with his Capricorn Venus.
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
I can’t tell what what to do, and I’ve only touched on some of the compatibility factors that quickly stand out. Uranus will be squaring your Moon throughout 2010 and early 2011, and you’re also undergoing the Uranus-Uranus square, a classic developmental cycle concerning the need to establish one’s unique identity. I think you are going to want to move within the next few years, and that this change — more than anything else — will determine with whom you choose to spend your time. The Sag might be a good companion, but I wonder whether you would succeed as lovers. The Gemini sounds like a good boyfriend, but it remains to be seen whether he’ll travel with you to the ends of the earth.
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Madam Mystique-
Jeffrey so correct when he talks about your wanderlust and Uranus kicking it up for you. The truth is, with that Aries Sun and Sagittarian moon of yours, you crave crave experience. This one of your needs, much like food, water, and sleep and you will not be satisfied until you get it.
The best thing you can do for yourself, and the men in your life, is to start the journey of inner exploration that Uranus is calling for. Take some dance classes, learn Tai Chi, anything you can experience with your body (safely) and not worry so much about who you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Until you know who you are inside, picking a man for yourself is only guessing.
Aries- woman,I went through something like this myself, though I was a little oler than you are, and living wiht the first person already, but for the same amount of time you’re with your Gemini man.
Speaking for myself only- I was sorry I left and the situation was one in which I felt obligated in many ways, and did not feel I could change my mind, or take some time to think it over.
What’s more, I might have been able to do so logistically, but didn’t feel capable emotionally..
That was a big mistake for many reasons and caused me no end of misery..
I am saying this only because I want no one ever to go through what I did if they do not have to.
I leanred somethig form my mistake–but it was emotionally like being in prison — and I don’t think we need to be miserable for years to learn our lessons in life.
That being said–if you know you really want something different, you are in charge of that.
I know that’s what you’re asking about–because you do not know yet–but my point is–the change may be within you and not in having a new relationship.
If you’re not ready to settle down–you certainly do not have to–and you don’t have to have a new relationship to be by yourself or to travel or learn new things.
The Gemini man is your closest friend and lover and that’s more important than it might seem.
However–it could be you’re not that happy–which is again–something only you will really know, for certain.
I also see more connections relationship-wise with your Gemini man.
I do see some with the Sagitarius, one of which could be ong lasting–but I don’t see that a lot of the other aspects are all that special.
However, again–you know if there’s a real chemisty and feeling there, and not just an inteest or sexual attraction.
I will say too–and this may sound like a contradiction to other things I’ve said–but in all honesty–we can, if we’re mature enough, work out a love relationship with almost anyone–but I don’t suggest *starting out* with a relationship that will need a lot of work, if you have a choice
Is it possible that neither man is for you long- term, but right now these two are who are all you can imagine being with and loving?
I’m interested to know what it is you’re concerned with when you said you have a feeling you may not know your Gemini man as well as you thought?
I know 3 yrs is not a real long time–but it’s not so short either.
Certainly you know him–while there is *always* more to learn–it’s unusual that you feel in 3 yrs you may not know the real him.
I always suggest seeing a counselor/therapist to see what’s going on inside when I’m faced wiht changing feleings, or desires.
Also, perhaps you can consider not being committed to anoyne as a way to find out who you are and who you want to be with.
I hope you get what you want and need good luck with it all-:-)
BTW, Madam Mystique–something I forgot to mention–Jeffrey stated that you Sag man has his Mercury conjunct your Moon and he really gets your feelings.
Now.To me that would be very important.
However my husband has th9is aspect wiht me himself, and if he understood me initially it still was not somethign he was able to express well.
I do feel now that he does–but we had great difficulties for a long time, and were not happy until after we committed to marriage counseling for some time.
So, all I’m saying is–this aspect may hold true for both you and I with our respective relationships–but I believe it takes more than that–the Sag must be able to *show* you he gets you, and more important–be able to *be* emotionally what you need if it would be long term..
Again–good luck.
I’m not sure what role transposed houses/house overlays play in synastry, but I see that the Gemini man’s Venus falls in the Aries girl’s 7th house. From what I have read, this is favorable for a romantic ralationship. Gem man’s Sun falls in her 9th house, which means he would activate her 9th house issues, higher learning, religion, philosophy, travel etc.Am I right? So is some of the *wanderlust* (for lack of better words) she feels could also be a result of this 3-year long relationship activating her 9th house? Also I notice that the Gem man has Pisces on the cusp of his 5th house (if I’m looking at it right), so the Uranus transit that Jeffrey you talk about which is about to conjoin her Venus in H6, is affecting his house of love/romance too??? Is that a double whammy for a couple ???
@shygirl, I wouldn’t say his Sun in her 9th would stimulate wanderlust in the sense that she would consider leaving him. More that his presence in her life stimulates her sense of adventure, which resonates with her Sag Moon. He would open up her sense of possibility. You can read the paragraph on partner’s Sun in the 9th at Cafe Astrology.
As for tr Uranus in his 5th house, I wouldn’t give it as nearly strong an influence as Uranus conjoining her Venus.
@Jeffrey,
…More that his presence in her life stimulates her sense of adventure, which resonates with her Sag Moon. He would open up her sense of possibility….
That is sort of what I was getting at but I didn’t make myself clear I guess. I didn’t think she would leave him because of his Sun being in her 9th house, but rather, he may be triggering a desire for expansion/adventure in her, to which she is responding in her own way (which is where her Uranus transit comes in I suppose).
Thanks for the info! You know, I used to read these threads in the past & never had the courage to ask questions/write my observations, because I never thought I knew enough about astrology to do so. I still don’t know much but I have realized that it doesn’t matter. Now that I do ask questions, I find it so much more educational. If you’re wrong, someone is bound to correct you. You get to learn, which is cool. I’m glad I got over my inhibitions….:-)
@shygirl, I’m glad you’re asking questions, too. And I hope readers will correct me when I’m wrong!
Oh man, note about Gemini Mars with a Virgo Mars -
I have this aspect (Gemini Mars) with a Sagittarius man (Virgo Mars), and he said he’s “shy” when it comes to talking in the bed room!!! What the heck!!! How can a talkative Sagittarius gets shy at speaking!!!
@may, Virgo can be pretty shy and modest when it comes to sex (Mars).
A lot of what you have said has made sense for me perfectly and I now feel I can make an informed decision about my future. I was aware of on some level although not listening to it.
I think that beginning my own journey by travelling or going to uni this year is the best path, and dance class sounds like fun!
From the romantic side of things,it doesn’t sound like either is the man of my dreams. Therefore, I wont have much to regret even if I do miss one of them.
What clicked the most was the part about me needing to skip town, that is the best way forward for me and gemini and Sag, which is what starry night was saying.
If either want to be my travelling companion then that will be good. Perhaps this wanderlust is because I have not had much experience in my life yet and so need to before even contemplating settling in to a relationship.
And with my soft heart, I will need to develop nerves of steel so say goodbye to my first love and do what is needed!
Thanks for the comments, it helped to clarify a lot of what Ive been thinking. And Karen, I will just have to try not hurt anybodyies feelings in the process of moving on and hopefully then I wont cause any negative karma. Thank you for the warning and Im sorry to hear you regretted your decisions. WE can only do what we think is best at the time.
Thanks for responding, Madame Mystique. I always appreciate it when someone whose question I’ve addressed leaves a comment. I wish you well in your potential travels!