Virgo man retreats when he and Aries woman get too close
April 14, 2008 by Jeffrey Kishner
Katherine writes,
This Virgo man is my next door neighbor and a very good friend. I see him almost daily, as our group of friends is very close. We’ve known each other since July and have had an instant connection. Whenever we’re in a room it’s like a magnet is pulling us together. We’ve gone on several “dates” and spend a lot of alone time together, but never even kissed (lots of cuddling, though) until recently when I approached him about the situation. We admitted our attraction to each other, but couldn’t come up with a solution. I basically told him I would like to give “us” a shot, but no decision was made. On my way out the door, I went for it and kissed him. It was the hottest kiss I’ve ever had. He retreated for a couple of days after that, which I’m used to because he tends to do that when things get too close between us, but then he bought me a vintage dress for my birthday. Now things are back to where they were; we flirt and touch, but don’t kiss, he cooks me lunch, we go dancing, and we don’t talk about the situation at all. What is he doing? I want things to happen now, but I know that isn’t the Virgo’s nature. Do you have any insight or advice? Is this a lost cause?
Your Virgo friend (view his chart) is about as “yin” as one can get. All of his personal planets are in Earth or Water signs, suggesting he’s both introverted and fairly cautious. His Taurus Moon takes things slow, and its conjunction to Chiron may relate to a core emotional wound around sensuality or security issues. His Mars — planet of assertion — is in indirect and self-protective Cancer. And he has a stellium in Virgo, including Mercury, Venus and an exact Saturn-Sun conjunction. He may be very inhibited and controlled. But with an exact Venus-Mars sextile, he does have an undeniable erotic allure!
You resonate with him (view your chart), as you have your Moon in Virgo and Venus in Taurus. However, with Mercury, Sun and Mars in Aries, you’re pretty assertive about expressing your desires. (Otherwise, possibly nothing would ever happen between the two of you!)
Saturn in Virgo is transiting your Moon until the end of June. Your Moon is the only planet in your Seventh House of Partnership, so this transit may correlate with a feeling that your relationship needs are not getting met. Remember, Saturn is the planet of delay and restriction. It’s unlikely that any movement is going to happen until the weight of Saturn lifts.
On July 16, transiting Venus enters your Seventh House (depending on the accuracy of your birth time) and transiting Mars exactly trines your natal Venus. Mars will also be energizing his North Node at this time, potentially activating a feeling of having a fated connection. This sounds like a good time to ignite a romance. I know that as an Aries you “want things to happen now,” but I suggest you keep dating, and don’t push for more until this summer.
Subscribe to Sasstrology for the latest articles by email or RSS.
Become a fan of Sasstrology at Facebook.
Follow Sasstrology at Twitter.
Follow Sasstrology on Google buzz.
he’s virgo, identical stellium, cancer mars..BUT aries moon and leo ascendant. I’m libra, capricorn moon, scorpio mercury, venus and pluto, aquarius mars, aries ascendant. We also have a rather challenging chart as far as aspects are concerned.
08/09/1979, 4:30
10/10/1986, 17:15
bucharest, Romania
Its not your problem that he retreats, its his. An Aries woman like you is exploding with passion and intelligent interests, I think he’s intimidated by your attractive feminity coupled with your strength, basically he can’t understand why you would like him….. The guy, not because he’s Virgo, but because he has a complex, can’t figure out why someone like you would want someone like him. Ive met Virgo guys that wouldve loved the attention you gave this guy, so it must be more of a personal issue with this poor fool.
Or, he is shy
He wants what he wants but is scared to go through with it 
I´m a virgo i´ve been there. At the beginning we take things slowly and tend to analyze the future of the relation just to try to not get hurt but after a while we change in 180 degrees. I know because i had a relation with an aries girl and at the beginning she would go crazy about having sex but I wanted to know her better before I would gave her all my love. After 3 months in the relationship I opened to her and boy she enjoyed it. The only problems I had with her were her tendencies to casinos-gambling which i hate and that she couldn´t keep up with me in the sack. Se was a little dry in the sex department and sex for us (virgos) is very important.
I know the info here may be a bit outdated, but I think it definitely is true. I think I’m a bit a handful for my virgo guy. Our relationship started off slow then just kind of exploded (in a good way). I remember hearing him tell me he didn’t think everything would happen so fast. Well I didn’t see anything happening at all. Perhaps his comment goes back to what a lot of people say about virgos trying to think everything out ahead of time. I’m a lot more impulsive. Once he got me going though, I was hooked and didn’t give much thought about what would happen next. His disappearing act made me a bit insecure at first. I’d panic and think he didn’t like me anymore, but as time has progressed I just know THAT’S HIM. He never stays quiet or away too long. If I can’t physically see him then he will send sweet little texts so I know he’s thinking about me. His hot/cold persona used to bother me because I’m hot for him ALL OF THE TIME, but I have learned to tone it down and play coy a bit. It seems to make things even better when his devilish side comes out.
I’m an Aries (Moon/Taurus, Venus/Aquaris, Mars/Libra) that has a “thing” for Virgos. Since grade school, I’ve had a habit of developing crushes that last for years on Virgos with a current total of five. Only one turned into a short-lived relationship of three months. After we agreed we were not seeing other people, I found out he was sleeping with three other women. Each of the Virgo men are unique in different ways. Few were as promiscuous as the one described. It is maddening to continue to have strong, constant feelings for Virgos, which never seem to work out. The current Virgo crush (Moon/, Venus/Leo, Mars/Leo) of about two years has acted like he can’t stand me for a year and half. We’re just now kind-of-friends. I would like to be purged of feelings for Virgos. It breaks my heart and makes me feel nuts.
I am Aries dating Virgo man, my problems just exact as the aries above writing on the 16th of February 2010.
Is there any hope in this relationship. Is he being honest? and should i just quit finally?
thanks in advance for your advice..
Dunstana,
Is he supposed to be with you, yet he’s with others? It depends on what you want for yourself. When it happened to me I decided it was not how I wanted to be treated. There was a good chance some other guy would treat me with more respect because several of my ex-boyfriends had done a better job. Being single seemed better than being tortured with anxiety. There’s never been a second I was sorry for telling him, “I don’t want to see you anymore,” though I missed him a litte, and he continued to attempt contact for several months after.
I would date a Virgo again. Clearly, I have no problems being attracted to them. No two Virgos, or men, are like. Hope this helps you make your own decision.