im a gemini. there is this scorpio girl i knew when i was about 15 and she really liked me. i didnt get it. she had a boyfriend and she would always tell me how she wanted to dump her boyfriend for me. i thought of her as my friend but i never gave any interest in her so i couldnt understand why she wanted me so bad. she made me feel good but i guess it just scared me so i pushed her as far away as i could. so she has been out of my life for 7 years and ive been around the block and found that im pretty good at attracting all types of women. my problem is that i constantly change my mind about what i want. so now she is back.
i had an experience recently that changed my whole life in which i realized the error of my ways. i realized that i had been destructive and selfish. i realized that my whole path of destruction goes all the way back to her. i was afraid to be loved by someone. 7 years later i realize that i have always loved her. i have been talking to her again and she is suspicious of me as ever. she hides everything so well but i am sure i stir emotions inside her. i cant get her to lift her veil of mystery. i havent told her the extent of my feelings though. shes the one girl right now that i couldnt change my mind about the way i feel about her even if i wanted to.
so now the roles are reversed. i want her so badly and she cant understand it at all. i know i deserve this. i have accepted the fact that i may have missed out on one of the most special people to come into my life. i will refuse to give up because it is just too important to me and i will continue on paying for the sins i have committed for the rest of my life if thats my fate.
she symbolizes my transition from a life of evil to a life of good. i have always dreamed of the perfect love story and it makes me so sad that the perfect love story was there when i was a kid but i didnt see it. things are going really slow but i think if i persist then maybe i could possibly have her. i want her more than any girl but there is a lot of temptation around me. i dont want to forget about how wonderful she is like i did before when we were children.
so i have tried small talk and flirting, that didnt work. i have tried opening up and showing my emotions and that worked a little better.
my question is how can i get her to come out of her shell and come back into my life in some capacity? friend or lover. i want her in my life. should i just accept it and settle for another girl? or is it possible for me to recapture the affections of the scorpion?
No wonder you have no problem attracting women: your Venus in assertive Aries and Mars in sociable Gemini are making a beneficial 60-degree aspect (called a “sextile”) to each other. This means your love and sex planets work together harmoniously. Unfortunately, frequently changing your mind about the type of woman you want is common for a Gemini, and especially for yourself, since your Sun (self-expression), Mars (sexual desire) and Mercury (communication) are all in this restless sign.
Your life-changing event might be related to Pluto’s recent exit from the last degrees of Sagittarius (where the Lord of the Underworld — which recently stationed retrograde — will return). The planet of compulsion, destruction and eventual rebirth was making a challenging aspect (opposition) to your Mars and a more supportive aspect (trine) to your Venus. Pluto dragged your style of relating into the depths of Hell (aka, your psyche) to transform your fear of being loved into an ability to face your Terror straight in the eyes. (We hope.)
The ruler of your Seventh House of Partnership — with Capricorn on the cusp — is Saturn in Scorpio. And your Saturn is within a degree of conjoining her Scorpio Sun, so I understand why you feel she’s The One — your relationship significator is unified with her basic self. The problem could be that your Saturn is on her Sun. (View her chart to the right.) Saturn is the planet of restriction and judgment. She may feel that her relationship with you brings with it a sense of hardship. CafeAstrology has an excellent description of this interaspect:
One strong factor that attracted you to each other (perhaps unconsciously) is the feeling that you can have a deep, stable, permanent relationship and settle down together, facing life’s responsibilities in a mature way, tackling challenges together such as raising children, becoming financially secure, etc. These concerns can gradually cause your relationship to become too absorbed with “serious” matters, causing both of you to feel limited and stifled by the relationship. Saturn has a strong tendency to criticize and judge Sun’s actions, sometimes accurately and sometimes unjustly. Saturn should guard against this tendency to dampen Sun’s enthusiasm, and Sun needs to avoid being overly sensitive to Saturn’s suggestions and criticisms. Saturn’s tendency to dominate, control, or even repress Sun makes Sun feel resentful at times, and Sun may feel lowered vitality and self-confidence after being with Saturn for a long time. You must make room for lightness and play, or you both will feel burdened by the tone that is set between you. Remember that there is a solid sense of being able to depend on one another, and this is a precious gift. Saturn may not be aware of the limiting effect Saturn has on Sun, and Sun would do well to understand that Saturn has this influence due to insecurities. There can be some haughty and judgmental exchanges between the two of you at times, and it is wise to step back and examine exactly why this happens! Saturn can easily feel threatened by Sun’s expressions of growth and individuality, because Saturn feels much more safe when Sun stays the same! Growth on Sun’s part does not mean growing apart from Saturn, and Saturn would do well to understand this.
As you can see, this connection with your Scorpio love interest has its challenges, but can also reward you with the stability you crave. I’d suggest that you monitor any tendencies towards being critical of her. And if you’re willing, be radically honest about your fear of being loved, your self-destructiveness and how you’ve come to the other side of your life-changing epiphany. Scorpios appreciate people who’ve risen from the ashes.