How to make a Libra man feel guilty
April 22, 2008 by Jeffrey Kishner
To feel remorse, you first have to be aware of — and respect — the experience of another being. Unfortunately, many people are either sociopathic or just not mature enough to recognize that others deserve fair treatment. The foundation of this understanding is based on rules and laws, moral codes that are hammered into our heads by our parents and society. This superegoic consciousness can be represented by Saturn. This strict planet is not all bad — it is appropriate to repress certain instincts, when acting on them hurts others. Think of the Ten Commandments: It’s not OK to steal or screw your neighbor’s spouse, for example. If we all did whatever our instincts told us to do, we’d live in chaos.
And yet, our parents and society also teach us to repress vital parts of ourselves — in the service of conformity, as well as submission to the State. Is it not sad that — in becoming aware of our talents and desires that meet disapproval from the mainstream — we feel like we are trespassing, or doing something wrong?
Libra, the sign in which Saturn finds its exaltation, is focused on doing what appears right or culturally appropriate. There is a core of strength in Libra, in its focus on fairness, justice and balance. And yet there is also a wishy-washy quality that comes from being so focused on pleasing all parties that Libra does not know what to do — he does not trust his insides because he does not want to lose face.
How does a Libra feel when he violates his own sense of what is just?
All things being equal, a Libra may be less likely to be uncouth or to outright hurt another’s feelings than other Sun signs. It is difficult to act on one’s impulses when “the done thing” is foremost in one’s mind. But if he has, say, a personal planet in blunt Sagittarius, critical Virgo, vindictive Scorpio or elitist Leo, he may relate in a manner that violates his own sense of decorum.
If there is an opportunity to make a Libra feel guilty, it is by exploiting the inner conflict between (A) his priority on civility and fair treatment; and (B) his impulses that conflict with the values embraced by his conscious Self. That is, to make his Libra Sun feel offended by the behavior of one of his subpersonalities.
You may need to draw special attention to how one of his other personal planets acts in a depraved manner, for a Libra may very well disown this planet and project it on to others, as he cannot bear acknowledging that there is a part of himself that can be so crude.
Bear in mind that the point of this exercise is not to make him feel guilty out of malevolence, but rather to help him find a higher expression for parts of himself that are underdeveloped.
There is a risk, though, of aiding in the suppression of healthy instincts that just happen to not be “nice.” There is a place for bluntness, for exposing ugly truths, for being critical in order to help someone make improvements upon themselves. Not all human behavior needs to be “sugar and spice and everything nice.” So, if you care about your Libra man, use guilt sparingly, for if he remains stuck in his Sun sign modus operandi, he will rarely express any emotional depth or engage in meaningful exchanges in the pursuit of a higher truth.
Comment below: What would a Libra feel guilty about?
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I was dating an Libra man with Saturn in Aries, I’m a Gemini women with Saturn in Leo. He was too vain and perfect to make mistakes. His Moon was in Gemini and my moon is in Leo. We got into very BAD and emotional Fights.
In response to the question, What would a Libra feel guilty about? I’m not a Libra but I have a Libra Moon and the ruler of my Sag first house is in Libra. The think that stops me in my tracks and makes me start weighing things (again) is someone saying “You’re not being fair”, or “That’s not fair.” Even if it’s a child. Not being fair makes Libras feel guilty. However, once I’m sure I’m being fair to everyone, I just assume that the person that said it is being selfish.
I’m curious, lunarlibra, when you catch yourself not being fair, what’s your motivation for not being fair? Do you associate it with one of your other planets?
No, I think that the Planets show your inclinations. You still have free will. I’m never unfair. (Not that I know of, my family vouches for me:) But I must confess that I can’t take credit for that. Once when I was about 9 or 10 I was upset with my brother for taking my underwear out of my drawer to wear. (He was an Aries, he wanted it, he took it) I was mad about it and I talked to God about how selfish my brother was and my family in general. Then I heard a voice (literally in my spirit) I could hear it, very quiet, very peaceful yet authoritative. It said that I was the selfish one. I thought that was a mistake, and questioned how that could be true. He said, “You wouldn’t notice them trying to have their way if you weren’t trying to have yours.” I still use this as my yardstick.
I’ve only had this said to me by my daughter when she was little and my ex-wife (don’t remember what it was about).
Ok, well I said I was not going to comment on blogs for a while but I’m married to a double Libra, so how can I resist?!
Anyway…being an Aries sun married to a Libra sun, rising and Mars is quite interesting. It’s an educational experience for both of us. I guess being married to a double anything is interesting.
Ok, I will try not to ramble. Actually I feel really lucky to have such a Libran husband.
When we first were married I was often frustrated because of the obvious and apparent differences between us. I was more impulsive, obviously, with Aries, and he always hung back and deliberated on everything.
In fact I think we had a tendency to really polarize and almost go to the extremes of that dynamic, but over time we started to even each other out. It’s almost like we both needed to develop various parts of our personalities and become more well-rounded. Or bring out certain qualities of ourselves that hadn’t been expressed before.
Ok, well anyway. Back to the topic at hand! What makes a Libra man feel guilty? Well from my observation anyway, he seems to feel the most guilty if he’s done something too impulsive (it feels unnatural to him) and he isn’t sure he made the right decision, and obviously if he feels something is unfair. I’m sure there are many, many other possibilities of course. I’ll definitely have to ask him about it when I see him.
Happy Tuesday…
Thanks Uncle Hannah!
I asked my double Libra husband and he agreed with the ‘not being fair’ thing, and not being able to keep a promise bothers him very much.
I asked him if the Scorpio stuff in his chart bothered his Libra sensibilities (he has Scorpio moon and mercury). He said he doesn’t entertain most of the Scorpio stuff.
He said “I use the Scorpio stuff to get a better idea of whether I’m being fair. Instead of being subversive I get all the info (investigation) to gather information.”
Me: What about if you lie or manipulate information?
Him: (laughs) strangely no (doesn’t make him feel guilty). For the same reason, because I’m trying to get information. I only do it when I think I need to. I don’t do it very often. I feel guilty if I didn’t do something and want to cover it up (Scorpio) or I also feel bad about telling the truth and getting in trouble. I’d rather have the internal guilt than the external guilt of punishment(Scorpio’s fear of exposure). I’d rather keep the peace.
Note: Jeremy has a sociology degree and is naturally very investigative and analytical. He also has a 12th house Sun and Mars (both in Libra) which I think contribute to his isolation/fear of exposure thing, but also his desire to help.
p.s. he gave me permission to post this. I think he’d kill me if I ‘exposed’ him without permission. Hehehee…
Hannah I found your post really interesting! Im also a libra and have a moon in scorpio. I have trouble being fair all the time myself, because I tend to become very selfish when I feel emotionally vunerable/offended. I guess your husband has a better grasp on his feelings than me!
I am a Gemini going through a divorce with a Libra man. He left me after 20 years for a career woman he works with. After 12 transfers and my support he has done quite well. He makes 300,000 a year. In the past year a huge amount of money has disappeared from our accts. I was unable to monitor any of it as I did not have my name on anything. He has complete control of everything. My car is not even in my name. I have been a stay at home mother of 3 with very little skills. I have a real estate license but have not been active in years. He gives the children and I just enough to get by, actually not enough. I have to ask for help every week sometimes I must sel things. He usually helps but the position for me is awful. I have started with an attorney(he took my jewelery as pymt) I am wanting to take this all the way to a judge. He takes his upgrade on vacations while I struggle for food and cannot buy the children shoes or clothes. My fear though is that I will end up with an unsyphathetic judge and lose. I need allimony to live and there are no laws in place for this. As I said he always helps mostly because he wants to look like te good guy. If I lose in court I fear he will be angry that I went after him and then will no longer be there at all. I have been searching for a job but am having a hard time finding what works with balancing my children as well. He is of the mindset that I should just be able to get a job and let him get on with his life with her. How should I proceed?
@heather, I think you should take him to court.
Thank You! I feel much better!
Jeff, I’m intrigued. Not sure why. Must be the Gemini in me! LOL!
@heather, intrigued about what?
I’m guessing you have a clue! I’m a Gemini! I like to learn about things that catch my interest! LOL!
why would any one want another to feel guilty….? This is the question one should ask them selves. To purposefully want another to feel gullt leads me to believe any person no matter your sign wishing that on another is truly ill and sick. Why would you want to control anothers emotions????
I was treated very unfairly by a libra, and I wote him an email saying he was a self centered.I m not he first person to say this about him, and I got a call the very same day, and he was so caring and I could feel it in his voice his anger towards himself.I didn t call him back because I need time ti heal from this experience. I love him, but I can never trust an indecisive man who wants to be with me one day and the next doesn t know what he wants> He mad me crazy, and I do hope he finds happiness and peace with himself, because he drained all my energy.
i’m in the same boat as anonymous… my libra went from callin me almost evryday and talkin about our future to “too busy” to return calls for 2 weeks till i sent him a short and sweet text tellin him that after sleepin with me the past 8 months i deserved an explanation. it got his attention and i got a very sincere apology… and a speech about him not bein sure what he wants(not surprisin, he’s about the most indecisive person i’ve ever met). i don’t know what to make of the situation; now he wants to try jus bein friends, i still want more so do i wait around for him to change his mind again?
My Libra has stood me up many times without a call or a text. Im a Leo and my pride is hurting. My moon sign is Libra though so I find myself trying to see from both sides, but he’s giving me such mixed signals!! How can I make him stop!
i am dating a libra and happen to live with him and i am readng every comment about how they cant mke up their mind what they want one minute than talk about our “future” the next.i am a cancer and we are suppose to not get along but we do but when we fight…we fight like its world war 2. i am a very caring person. i have alot of love and empathy but he drives me crazy cuz when hes mad he acts very selfish. even if im mad at him i still ove him just as much as i do when im not mad…how do u make a libra realise that they are being selfish cuz they obviously dont like being told that…ive tried everything and i dont know what to do anymore.i mean i live this guy..somethings gotta give..we have to come to an equal understanding cuz when one party feels they are giving all and the other isnt how do you make a libra understand what they do to a cancer when they do the negativity and name calling cuz i never do that no matter how mad i get. i am very family oriented and just want him to be the same..lol that wont ever happen with a libra will it…
welp. goodluck. to update my situation my now EX-Libra decided after 9mos of smooth sailin months with me he wanted to get back with his crazy, cheatin, whore of an ex(who is also 2x my age. yuck). i’ve gotten close to his bestfriend who told me what was really up, he was tryin to tell me he wasn’t ready for somethin as “serious as where we were headin” but then i find out she’s already moved in with him and been kicked out 2x… it’s really true about how they need things to be so perfect and balanced that they thrive on unbalanced(and unhealthy) situations to try to fix them.
Oh my goodness! Were we all dating the same Libra man! (NY?) Indecisive, self-centered, loves you one minute passionately, not sure about you the next, not sure about himself and what he wants to do with his life half the time… But, I still love him. I’ve always loved him and always will. I’ve been married twice (not to my Libra man either time), and now the Libra man says he is ready to make me his wife (after weighing it to death). I hadn’t spoken to him in several years, and he called me out of the blue. I still love him and he still loves me, and we’re talking about making a life together. Maybe that makes me as crazy as him, but it’s a wonderful, exhiliarating feeling….
AWWW congrats on findin eachother again… the Scorp in me absolutely cannot wait for my fickle fella to want me again so he can learn how it feels to suffer lol
Omg Missscorpion..I’m going through the EXACT same situation as u!! After serioudly talking to my libra guy for about 6 months, he decide that he wants to get back with his ex who cheated on him and left him before!! I don’t understand these libra guys…so do they always come back or what? I’m soooo confused right now
me tooo!!! we still talk a bit and despite livin in LA we’ve ran into eachother and he’s always sweet and charmin. it’s like dude could you jus be more of insensitive [expletive deleted] to me so i can jus get over you lol
like as great as i still(for some reason) think he is and wish things would work out how on earth do i trust him ever again!?
Heather
your ex is a $%$#$(((&^%% like mine. Take him to court like Jeffry said.
To make a Libra guy feel guilty? Honey everyone knows only a Libra woman can do that
Its the words we use….he he You have to use logic then manouver into the tiny little heart chamber he has, The best words “You are the reason for…” or the absolute best words ever to hit home with him “YOU WERE NOT BEING FAIR” I’ve seen more tears come from these words then any insult you could hurl or accusation. My personal favourite line LOL “You are a BAD person and you know it” Works like a charm, but back up the tears dont come often but when they do, its a real MESS baby!
the cat came back… Mr Libra realized the ex he left me for is still an insensitive cheatin bitch sooo guess who got a phone call, he wants to “take things slow” so he doesn’t hurt anyone again; whateverthef*** that means… haven’t met up in person yet but when i do vindictive Miss Scorpion plans on usin some of Libra Lady’s phrases in our convo… i’ll keep everyone updated
MissScorpion I am like in love wit you rite now! EVERYTHING that your libra did to you…..Mine is doing the exact same thing……It’s f***ing crazy. From the beginning he told me about his life. He was done very pooryly as a child and was treated so wrong by his many exes. I never did him wrong in any type of way and we fell madly in love. He told me he loved me and wanted me to b his wife one day. He even asked to have my child on sevral occasions. Wat i failed to mention though is that he had a baby on the way by his ex. (She was one of them many ppl who did him grimey) Everything was going perfect until they decided to become friends again. I got insecure and upset with him and at first he apologized and tried to fix things but then out of no where he told me he needed a break. he claimed he was disappointed that i didnt trust him ( a factor that caused many of his previous break ups) and that he felt betrayed becuz in the beginning i Pormised we would never have this problem…He told me he needed a break, yet three days later i find out that him and his Ex are back at it….I’m so heart broken…..
When you think about a Libra, you have to realise that youre dealing with someone with the attention span of a fruitfly, or the other type, like me, I’m a woman and very much one, Im straight and always have been, but there are days when I’m feeling my masculine side, and the guys are feeling there feminine side too from time to time…If you meet one that can accept this about himself its okay but once in a while you end up meeting a Libra guy that hates himself, and no matter what you do he will feel that you must think youre better then he is, When he’s rotten to you its to hurt you for “making me look bad” Its cruel, I find them harder to please then a Scorpio guy, if you give a Scorp loyalty, he likes it, once its proved but with a Libra guy, unless he is evolved, if he finds that you are treating him better then he treats you, it pisses him off, not enough to change his ways to make it better but actually begin to seek someone “worse” then himself to be with instead, even cheating, just to feed his own ego, Im better now, so everything good you do doesnt matter, if you meet the type that “likes” himself its okay, he will be a grown up, and act like a great guy even wanting to take care of you, but the other type is like my ex husband, they are never happy….
ohhh don’t worry Scorn Sagg… history repeats itself and once he realizes his ex sucks he’ll come back to you like nothin happened.
now ya got me scared though cause as much as i keep mine at a distance and blow him off all the time(granted i am there for him if he needs me, LibraLady is correct, us Scorps are loyal to a fault) he’s very persistant with the “i miss us” stuff and i didn’t realize till i read your response AND, at the same time ironic enough, got a random pic message of him and his buddy’s kid at the zoo that he has become very family oriented…
I was also in a relationship with a Libra man and had a similar experience. After 6 mos of loving calls, texts, emails and visits, I was dumped for the married neighbor. I am having a very difficult time getting over him. What is with these guys?
Lol… Yet again Miss Scorpion you were rite!!! He defintley has come back. and to his disarray, hes not the only guy in the picture nemore. His time with me that he once had unlimited is now divided… IT DRIVES HIM CRAZY! lol… and eye for an eye is wat thy say.
I know a Libra guy, there is something about him I really like as a friend.
Also, I think Libras dont really state their feelings. They seem to act kind of cool. Like they wouldnt want u to know if they liked u.
For instance he can mention someone and u might say oh no he doesnt have kids, he has been fixed, then he will say HOW DO U KNOW!!!!!!
Like how would I know this guy has been fixed. Or possibly try to make u think he has someone when he doesnt.
The Libra guy I know I have known a long time. I think deep down he is a nice guy and he has been hurt by women in the past I know for a fact.
Do any others feel this way about Libra’s, or am I understanding them better? Im a Virgo.
jus an update. things are still good with my silly little Libra. although Kara you’re right. after 2yrs of this roller coaster ride i still have no clue if he really likes me. he’s very affectionate and lately has been invitin me out to do stuff with his couple friends. but as far as him comin out and sayin it, no luck. of course after all we’ve been through i’ve been playin it safe and keepin up a bit of a wall.
i’ve also been playin the role of the Scorpio detective tryin to find out more about this ex he pretends doesn’t exist. he keeps his place very free of clutter; no pics, letters, or anythin from his past with her(OR HIS PRESENT WITH ME FOR THAT MATTER), except for email from when they broke up. is this because he’s really over her or because he doesn’t want to be reminded of her? or is that jus normal for Libras?
Wow….I am so amazed at the comments I’ve read about the Libra men. I had one too. I am a Libra, and I met my Libra man on the internet, because of mutual friends. I felt so connected to my guy because of our many similarities. He was everything I had wanted. When I felt my feelings getting stronger, I told him that I felt I needed to back off, but he encouraged me to keep going. We spent a few months emailing, texting and talking on the phone and we both agreed there was a strong connection and that we were each what the other was looking for. But he kept mentioning how much he’d been burned. And he spoke of being occasionally impulsive. He said he wanted a dedicated woman that would never leave his side. We finally met and spent the weekend together (we live across the country from each other). I felt like we were 2 peas in a pod, and I wanted to be that dedicated woman. But then he started to act weird. After I came home he didnt talk to me for a few days because he “freaked out” then he acted like he wanted me again. Then he would be cool and make me guess, then he’d turn on the charm, then guessing games. It was like half of the time he wanted to play the victim, then other times like he doesn’t need anybody. Always back and forth- man those scales were swaying like crazy, too much for me, but then he said I was too much for him! Even though I really wanted to be with him, I’m glad things didn’t work out.