How to make a Libra man feel guilty

To feel remorse, you first have to be aware of — and respect — the experience of another being. Unfortunately, many people are either sociopathic or just not mature enough to recognize that others deserve fair treatment. The foundation of this understanding is based on rules and laws, moral codes that are hammered into our heads by our parents and society. This superegoic consciousness can be represented by Saturn. This strict planet is not all bad — it is appropriate to repress certain instincts, when acting on them hurts others. Think of the Ten Commandments: It’s not OK to steal or screw your neighbor’s spouse, for example. If we all did whatever our instincts told us to do, we’d live in chaos.

And yet, our parents and society also teach us to repress vital parts of ourselves — in the service of conformity, as well as submission to the State. Is it not sad that — in becoming aware of our talents and desires that meet disapproval from the mainstream — we feel like we are trespassing, or doing something wrong?

Libra, the sign in which Saturn finds its exaltation, is focused on doing what appears right or culturally appropriate. There is a core of strength in Libra, in its focus on fairness, justice and balance. And yet there is also a wishy-washy quality that comes from being so focused on pleasing all parties that Libra does not know what to do — he does not trust his insides because he does not want to lose face.

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About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. MissScorpion says:

    thanks for the insight Seagoat. my ex is all about the “lets be friends” which works cause i do stay close with most of my ex’s. however his idea of friendship kinda sucks. it’s ok for him to call me jus to say “goodmorning” or tell me he misses me but then when i invite my “friend” out for drinks he can’t because that would be unfair to the girl he’s seein now, ya know, the one he cheated on me with… you are right also that as mad as i am and as much against my little vindictive Scorpio nature as it is; i don’t want to make him feel guilty. all i’ve wanted was for him to be happy. but it’s annoyin bein supportive when you don’t always get the support in return. he always gets the best of me even if he doesn’t deserve it.

  2. My Libra stopped calling and I was so hurt I mailed him all the little keepsakes I had of him along with a note asking him how dare he play with my heart? I had friends betting on when he would call….3 weeks, 3 months….. well, I knew he could not stand to be thought of as unkind and I said 3 days…it took him 4 to text me that he loves me and always will…. LOL…and I’m guessing he will back that up with a phone call down the road once enough time has passed. Librans hate conflict ya know! So once he feels confident I will actually talk to him, he’ll call…

  3. aquarius09 says:

    To: Elizabeth

    How long did you and your libra date for? I dated mine for about 9 months and although it is a short period of time, it was intense. I don’t want the duration to take anything away from the connection I had with my man. He was extremely selfish, although I know he loved me and meant well. He was just a natural screw up. He wasn’t willing to change for anyone, in fact I don’t think he’s capable of changing because he’s just demotivated and lazy in every aspect of his life. Disappointment in every relationship(son, brother, bf). The only relationship he fares good in is his friendship with his guy friends. Definitely loyal and go out his way for them.

    Anyway, once we broke up finally, we talked once in a while. I tried my best to get over him. Because right now I’m really busy with my studies, I have a crappy social life, which means I think of him during down time. My friends think that he is truly remorseful the way things ended between him and I, and that he just doesn’t know how to make it up to me. So, I called him one time to suggest we should get back together. I figured if he truly wants to do things right by me he would get back with me and do things differently and make it up to me. I was sooo wrong!! He said, he’s over me and doesn’t think of me like that. Then, he somersaulted and said maybe in the future we could be together! I should have known that he was just an expert in apologizing, and had no intention of putting any effort towards making up to me for all the grief he caused me. So I yelled at him and never called him again. It’s been 2 months since I’ve spoken to him. I even went out of my way to not wish him a happy birthday which passed during this time.

    I just wonder if he would ever contact me to tell me what your ex told you that he misses you etc. At this point I want to know if I was even a factor in his life, that he would miss me.

  4. Well, if I were you, I would run a compatibilty chart on the 2 of you. My Libra has been very sweet and attentive, but no doubt they can be selfish…when I ran our charts, I was shocked to find out that all but 3 aspects showed we are strongly attracted to one another, it was love at first sight, extreme passion, etc…neither of us could figure out how this could be since we haven’t even seen each other in years….we are in a very strange long distance relationship. But we already knew from the get go that we had to be together and were completely overwhelmed…him more than me. But my guy is very motivated, is an educator…Aqua/Libra relationships can be great but maybe your Libra hasn’t evolved enough…they will try to stay in your life if you let them, but make sure he is respecting you.

  5. and by the way since i didn’t make it clear…after almost 2 months he came back into my life, scales balanced, ready to be in a relationship with me. Once he made up his mind, he has been no holds barred..we also both have Taurus ascending which explains a lot…run a compatibility chart.

  6. MissScorpion says:

    @ aquarius09, is he a screw up or does he jus perceive himself as one? as @elizabeth said, if they’re not “evolved” Libra’s seem to lack confidence and see themselves as not good enough for you then they punish themselves by gettin into toxic relationships and pushin away the good ones.

    mine is currently in self-loathin, pity-party mode over how he treated me and how he always picks the wrong girl over me. and while they’re like this Libra’s get needy. he HATES bein alone, invites me everywhere, wants MY constant attention… yeah he seems remorseful but this is the WORST time to try reconnectin. it’s all a selfish act put on because he’s tryin to fix himself. and as for the “maybe we can be together in the future” line, that’s partially because he is a Libra and they’re indecisive annnd also because he has a penis and most guys like to keep their options open.

  7. Caringcancer says:

    @Elizabeth …OMG!! I’m in the same boat! Me and my libra guy were really good friends in school, and hd liked me, but I had no plans of being with him. So we both moved on. Now 7 years later we reconnected. And it is amazing how oddly we match. It was like love at first site. We have an long distance relationship as well. But I can feel the love a million miles away.

  8. Caringcancer, run a compatability chart, it will blow your mind. Find out his time of birth first. A good free resource is Cafe Astrology. When my Libra and I met many years ago, we couldn’t take our eyes off each other…literally….or our hands lol…spent just a few hours together….so much passion. The chart helped me make sense of it all.

  9. i hate libras.. i dated one we were friends for 3 years and he said that he liked me. whatever! he just wanted to screw! now i cant say that he was a liar cause he would swear to god..but he was very selffish!. when i wanted something i had to beg him like 10 times..so lazy never wanted to take the garbage out. i hate him to this day i will never date him again. im a taurus yes im stubborn but im loyal and fair and never selffish..but he called me a Golddigger..oh my. f him 4 life..

  10. I don’t even know where to start with libras. My best friend from high school is a libra.. we got really close. I felt like I could tell him anything. Well Im a capricorn woman, and he’s a libra. So from what I know they don’t balance eachother. Well needless to say he was the one guy I let in the deepest, and to this day he still has no clue how I feel. We were best friends for a year, I stopped speaking my mind to him cause I started to notice I really liked the guy and couldn’t tell if he liked me. That frustrated the poor guy. We kissed, then he dropped all pursuit of me. I was heart brokenm then I called him and told him I liked him. He said I had a years worth of chances and that he would just end up hurting me. Well shortly after that we had sex. We never dated. But we ended up fuck buddies for years, oh and he finally told me why he fucked me all those years cause oh i knew him better than anyone else including his ex wife, ex girlfriend(love of his life), his best guy friend, and he let me in the “closest”… yada yada.. well he has tried to pursue me as in action wise, but won’t tell me how he feels, if he wants more, or whatever. So it confuses the hell out of me to this day.. I know I’ve hurt him deeply cause of not doing anything. But I figure if he really wanted me he would pursue me til he got me or just stop batting around the bush and tell me. Libras are difficult I say, and they take FOREVER and a day to make up their minds. If they don’t want you, why don’t they just say so? He’s an amazing friend whose always been there through my divorce, and getting my heart broken, and all that… but damn libras are sooooo indecisive.

  11. Doreen Moekiola says:

    My Boyfriend a Libra man we met through mutual friends we are both still in university , he got my number through my friend I have no idea how he got it dont ask me:/ . But he turned out to be the best friend I ever had , he understood me I didnt have to dumb myself down , like I did with most guys I could talk to him about arts . culture everything beautiful. But see one thing is when ever we got into a fight , we were so bad at communicating letting our feelings out, I a Pisces woman expressed my feelings , I let him know how much I loved and cared for him, he did the same too but for a while.

    We got into a huge fight one day, he ignored me for one whole month! I was crying for mths because we dated for 5 mths , so when I broke up with him I did it via text msg, because I truly thought that he deserved it by text msg, the thing about my libra man is that he always wanted my virginity, but I wouldnt give it to him, not only that he kept telling me that he cant marry me because his parents wouldn’t allow it, (just to let you know marriage didnt even cross me at the time) lol , but his parents doesnt like cultures mixing? ( racist much) after all we are both pacific islanders . See I was a Tongan woman , and he was half samoan/Chilian Libra man.

    2mths later he txts me back saying he misses me everything, I started talking to him, mind you I was meeting better guys he asks to hook up with him again, I’m like okay because im a stupid pisces woman so F# emotional , and now its the same cycle again with ignoring me, and thing with libra men there so bluddy indecisive people they can never make there a f## minds up?? We I learnt never to rely on my libra man , I just learnt to be independant on my own , forgot to mention our relationship is long distance btw , so god know his flirting with heaps of woman, while im sitting at homw trying to mend my broken heart all over again:(

  12. aquarius09 says:

    @MissScorpion. Never mind my comment. I just discovered that my ex libran fool cheated on me and he was just tagging me along because he, as you said, has a penis. He kept putting down the other girl who my intuition kept telling me he’s dating. Finally, I did my own private investigating and found out he, not only cheated on me, with this other girl, but once we had broken up, he made me the other woman. The other girl knew me as his ex, but what she didn’t know was that I was his girlfriend, when he started flirting with her or asked her out. LIbras can go to hell!!

  13. I have been seeing this guy which is a libra it has been 4 month’s now i love talking to him and being around him he is very handsome i like the way he dress and carry his self .But i do find him to be very lazy really never no energy always depressed i try to cheer him up and find out what’s wrong with him but he will not open up to me and it’s hard sometimes to get through to him when he is like this i know he like me and he does this disappearing thing sometimes and he keep coming back.I had on my mind that maybe he disappeared because he said i was flirting with another guys in front of him and later on that week i dance with a friend of his and he got really upset with me i truly think he was upset because i did not pay him no attention he like for me to be up under when we are out partying with our friends and god for bid if there are alot of men around he won’t let me leave his side.We did have sex 3 times and the fourth time he open up more to me and loosed up and after we had sex he told me that he had a 7 month year old daughter i did know that he had a 2 year old son and that he was no longer with his son mother and that she was geting married to someone else .I want to know why would he wait to tell me about his daughter he did show me and my sisters pictures of his son but did not have any pictures of his daughter i as him about his baby mother and he told me that she was dealing with someone else as well.I feel like he is hiding something from me i did ask around and talk to some of the people he know to see if he was dealing with someone else and all they say is he is not seeing anyone.And he keep telling me that he do not have a girlfriend he use to flirt with other females in front of me but not anymore and he get very upset when i flirt with other men are men flirt with me and come on to me i can see it all in his face that he is very upset and he will say that he do care but only in front of his friends he act like he do care but when we are alone we go at it and he don’t like when male friends of mine give me a hug a kiss on the cheek and nothing more then that he hate it and it shows i do feel like i’m not the only one he is seeing only time will tell and the way i feel maybe true.I know it’s hard to win the heart of libra men and i feel like i will win his heart but i really don’t no about this one he’s 22 and i’m 29 years old the sex is so good and we can’t let go of one another he keep coming back i’m a aries and he’s a libra so i don’t know how good this could be.I’m moving into my new apartment soon and he want to move with me and as if he could have a key to my apartment that i soon will be moving into.But i really don’t think so i think i’m going to pull back and take it slow with this one.AND I WILL NOT GIVE HIM A KEY TO MY NEW APARTMENT ARE THE KEY TO MY HEART?

  14. I’m really, really, really confused about this Libra guy.

    We’ve been seeing each other for about 3 weeks now and both said that we really liked each other and we’d like to make a go of us being an official couple. I’m moving away to uni in September but it’s only an hour’s drive away so it’s not that bad, but we always said we couldn’t make it work because I wouldn’t be around much longer.

    Anyway, last night I was out clubbing with my friends and he was out with his (who all love me.)
    So he was texting me asking me where I was and he was calling me ‘boyfriend’ so I called him it back, jokingly, and he said ‘aww you said it back. I’m outside come talk to me’
    so I left my friends, we spoke about what we were and I said I’d be back most weekends and all this and we said we’d try it as a couple. He told his friends and I told mine (who kept coming up to him and saying hi. Cringe.)

    So we went back to his friend’s flat and we crashed there. We didn’t have sex but we did everything else. We went to sleep cuddling and it was nice. But this morning he seemed cold and off and only gave me a one-armed-hug when I left and said ‘see you soon’.
    So I text him and said ‘Were you serious about us making a go of it? Only last night you were quite drunk and I’d rather ask you again now you’re sober’
    and he said ‘How about we talk about this in person?’
    (We all know what that means)
    but he’s going to Doncaster for the weekend to see a friend (she just had a baby) so I have to stick out waiting all weekend for an answer… Ideas to win him back? You guys are the Libra experts lol.

  15. True enough that it is in Libras innate nature to be always right and sticking to the rules. It would be hard to make him admit something went all he does are the right things.

  16. Ok, I’ve been seeing this libra man now for almost a year but we’re not in a relationship. We haven’t talked about our feelings really and actually said the words ” i like you”… I’m an aquarius and admit to trying to end the relationship by pulling back suddenly ( and like normal to him) but this has been the longest we’ve gone. It’s been a little over 3 weeks with no word from me or him ( he usually contacts me since I rarely budge and if i do he sometimes turns it down). Well, in that timeframe I “coincidentally” ran into him twice. The first I say was a coincidence on the street as he was with a girl acting flirty and I know he saw me but ignored me ( likewise, I did too) . And the 2nd time, I tagged myself at a restaurant and who knows? Hour later, car pulls up as I’m chatting up my male friend and he walks out with two girls. I had my back turned the whole time and acted as if I didnt see them but they were being loud and he just so happened to park next to me. I figured it was too good to be true and left right after but jealousy took over and the day after I finally called to see him to which he shrugged me off and made an excuse that he had to work. Really?

    My question is what do i do now? I’ve been going out a lot lately and I think he’s mad about that, the fact that I’ve been giving my attentions elsewhere. Is he just not interested? But then why make that effort to show up? At this point, after being rejected I’m just thinking of literally not contacting him at all. I’m tempted to delete his #. Do u think he’ll feel guilty or bad for turning me down? You know indecisiveness?

  17. @Ms.Aqua

    Why haven’t you told him how you have felt about him before? What causes you to pull back?
    Is it your feelings about him?

  18. I think this is a matter of pride. He’s double Libra lol

  19. @NovLady:

    I was about to! Literally, I’ve been waiting for him to contact him as usual to let him know I can’t continue as we’ve been b/c I have feelings- but he didn’t let me! He showed up instead unexpectedly as I mentioned and seeing him with those girls made me act irrational- i got super upset and jealous. And like I said, when I tried to call him, he blew me off pretty much.

    I haven’t old him cuz I was scared. I was scared that my feelings were so strong and afraid that he didn’t feel the same way OR that If i said it first, he may try and recipricate them just as to not hurt my feelings, you know? Plus, I admit, I’m a little insecure about it. I’m afraid of getting my heart broken, which looks like i just did anyway. :(

  20. I don’t think he blew you off as much as you turned him off by being bothered with other girls after he told you there was nothing to worry about. I don’t think this is the guy for you. You need someone who won’t stir up your jealousy side.

  21. @Ms.Aqua

    I asked those questions just to throw out the idea that perhaps you could examine if you have were coming across detached or disinterested.
    I understand being fearful of being vulnerable. Its normal.

  22. @no-perspiration:

    I told him I wasn’t bothered by other girls and for the longest time haven’t. I’ve let him do as he pleases and I felt that this was a test. Like he called my bluff.

    But you’re right, maybe he’s not the one.

    @ Nov-Lady:

    I was coming across as uninterested and detached, that I know cuz I purposely tried.

  23. I guess he wasn’t turned off, or at least changed his mind, cuz he reached out to me! :)

  24. NewlyWedLibraLady says:

    Adam
    He is very intersted but he needs you to draw him the diagram of what you want from him, seriously, send a Libra man to the store, he will call you 20 times just to make sure he’s bringing the correct brand of milk….. My mother always told me about my Libra brother, he isn’t asking for advice, he ants an accompliss…..LOL
    If he isn’t soley responsible for the deision, he can share the blame with you….but thats not what your asking, sorry . That was just a warning Adam, if you really like or love this man then you are going to have to be the seducer, the one that seems confident and OMG, you are going to have to make him feel desirted. Just don’t let him get away with treating you as second to himself, I was married to a Libra man for 5 years, sounds like paradise doesn’t it, 2 Libras, but no, it was hell. If you are a Libra too, run (I mean it) but if you are not a Libra, and you still want him, remember you are with a 9 year old boy, that doubts himself on a regular basis and needs a confidence boost at least a couple times a month, one thing that I know for sure, he is expecting you to call him, basically a Libra wants to be convinced that he needs this relationship. If he loves you he will love you for life, I know….When I almost died in the hospital my ex husband suddenly showed up, flowers and all, He knows I hate him but he appeared out of nowhere, (he lives in a different province) That you can count on, I hope if you have a relationship with this guy, that you make it clear right away how you want him to treat you, they take instruction really well. They are actually some of the few men that like being directed, as long as they know you care about them they will ask you a hundred times a week if you are happy, give him lots and lots of input. Make a big deal, a Libra man can’t read between the lines like a Libra woman can, he has to be lead to the water or he’ll die of thirst LOL

  25. @Heather: if you are seperated from your Libra man then rather than going to court, You please talk to him openly and ask openly for help(Help i mean to get a job for you) and I’m sure he’ll help you. if you will try to take him court, you know he has better chance to win because if a Libra wants to win he never loose…i am telling because i am also a Libra…Libra feels hard to say NO if anyone asks for help.

  26. Why people here are speaking about Libra like they are not humans but allien and came from other planet so does’nt match with anyone..

  27. ScorpioLady says:

    Hi, so my opinion is… don’t even bother with them. Run for the hills and don’t look back. Libra men can have a charm a beauty, a character and a sexiness beyond anything comprehensible and yet….. THEY ARE NOT WORTH THE HEARTACHE THAT YOU WILL, IN MOST CASES, INEVITABLE EXPERIENCE! So… stop being nice. Tell them like it is and remove yourselves from their evil games. Yes, they will try to get in contact with you again to see if you will bite. Like I said…. don’t look back. NOT WORTH IT. They can lie, easily cheat and have no clue how cruel they can be. Some of them linger on being dangerous sociopaths while at the same time coming over as prince the sociable charming himself. Very confusing and you need to be very strong to step away and move on. Yes, they do cheat and yes, they will lie to your face.

  28. Desperate Loser says:

    Hey everyone.

    I’ve been reading all of yours comments and I was wondering, were all Libra men that bad? I don’t know how it feels but, I have a problem of my own too. So, here it is:

    I’m sure that my Libra ex have moved on. However, I’m still desperate on wanting to get him back, and I’ve been trying to find him. It’s a long distance relationship, we’ve been contacting each other through Facebook and Skype and in a game we usually played together before and when we got together, but then some time after our fifth month anniversary he started to get so quiet it was depressing for me. I confronted him about it, turned out he had been keeping things from me that involves my fault in it (mind you, I have a short memory span, so I don’t remember things that happen around five to six months prior, except for the usuals and some important stuff]. I told him that I didn’t remember that I had done it, but if it was my fault then I accept that it was and I said my sorry. We had an emotional argument and he dumped me after. I was deeply scarred, scared, and sad at the same time, I tried communicating with him but he cut off all contact with me until a week later, when he said he missed me and said that I deserve a second chance (he had my account’s infos so he could log in anytime he wanted and he saw all the conversations I had with my friends that I defended his ass from their accusations). Things went on for a while, like a month or so, and then suddenly he told me that he had a crush on someone, and although I was sad about it, I talked to the girl and told her to take care of him for me. I knew that I couldn’t give him the happiness he seek if I stayed so I let him go to develop his crush for her. Around this time we were friends.

    And then began the cycle of him ignoring me and him sweet-talking me and he even gave me something in the game we used to play together, and some of his things. I was baffled, but cautious and untrustful at the same time. And then a while later, I got hit with a high fever and had to be submitted to the hospital, but before that I had talked to him and he said that things weren’t working out between him and that girl, and that he said fuck it he’ll find another girl but for now fuck it. I tried talking to him a few days before I went to the hospital and he just brushed me off, telling me something like ‘he needs time and space’ and that he needs to be alone. After I’ve returned from the hospital, he vanished. He deleted his account, but by this time I still have his Skype intact.

    So I tried talking to him. I sent him messages, telling him I miss him (bad move, but I was feeling desperate and I miss him because we haven’t talked normally for a long time) and stuff, and then he just gave simple, short answers, indicating that he’s losing his interest. I was crying at this moment. How could someone, a man whom I’ve loved with all my heart, suddenly turn into this man I do not know at all? He said I didn’t knew him before I met him, and that broke my heart because, of course, we met when we’re both interested in each other. He told me to guess which was his new facebook account (I figured it because I always knew it would be him when I see it) and I tried contacting him through there, but then suddenly he said to leave him alone and called me annoying. Like a thousand glass pieces shattering, that’s the sound of my heart at that moment. His friend came to me, called me out, and told me to leave him alone because I was making him feel depressed. I did, I sent him a long ass message telling him of our moments and stuff, and I tried to ignore him for like, a week or so, then I sent him a short message (via one of his friends who is also my friend). I sent another after a week and it’s also another short message, just saying that I thought of him when doing things.

    He made another new Facebook account like, two to three days ago, and I suddenly thought that this was it. The end of the line for me. But I still don’t want to give up. I’m still planning on things, and I’m going to do it regardless of how it will hurt me.

    There are loopholes in my story, but that I will tell another time after this. I’m still figuring out how to get him to talk to me, but I won’t give up just yet. Like in my previous relationships, I never back down from anything without a fight. So this time, I’m going to fight for him, and I’m going to do it. Any means necessary would be appreciated to help me do this, please.

  29. I dated a libra man for almost a year and we finally became a couple. My advise is to just stay friends with them and don’t expect anything more except friends with benefits. When we were dating I lowered my standards to keep him in myife by accepting him having flings because I was sprung on him. As long as he didn’t catch feelings for them I was ok with it. I did it to show him I didn’t want to smother him and he liked that about me. When we were finally a couple (his idea) I told him he can’t cheat but he refused.Eventually I got pregnant and weeks later he left me for his ex. Broke up with her and literally had several different women. Mind you he is a sex addict so not all libras will has that many. I reached out to him twice even after I miscarried from all the stress I was still willing to work it out only on a friendship basis (non sexual)but he refuses to reach out to me.to push me away he posted pics on his IG in a hot tub in a sleezy hotel room with a prostitute. That destroyed any chances of reconciliation. It’s been two months since we last spoke and I still think about him, mostly because I had his child I guess because normally I move on rather Quickly. Take it from experience do not get serious with them even if he says he’s ready…they like to chase once you show how they feel they will leave you. Don’t give your body away so easily to them. Keep them entertained or call a psychic like I did to see how they really feel because they will not tell you. They have no emotions and they just want sex. Don’t call them let them call you.

  30. Typo I told him he can cheat but he refused because he loved me. It’s best to just be best friends with them and wait until they want to fully be with you. If your patient that is. To get revenge just ignore them. They hate that and will come crawling back.

  31. NewlyWedLibraLady says:

    Nicia
    I agree with what you say, my experiences have taught me that Libra men like being single, Libra women want to be married but most Libra guys mostly like being free as a breeze, I used to have the same opinion about Aquarius men but my husband has taught me a different side. He is a warm and caring man that broke through my protective walls, he showed me that I would be much happier with him then running away from him LOL The one person that you meet that touches you deeply the most could be any sign, its not the sign, its the heart.

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