Gemini woman wonders why she clings to Libra man

unsure provided a birth time (view chart) and writes,
I can feel the ending of my first serious relationship coming on soon, or at least the the way I know it. I’m not sure if I should go ahead and cut the string before my indecisive partner chooses to first. It’s not a matter of “hurt before you get hurt” because the pain is already there, but only for me. My boyfriend’s been acting quite differently lately. He says he doesn’t want to break up with me, but has started acting quite differently; and though this is a well-worn cliche, actions DO speak louder than words. Upon talking to him about how his recent actions have hurt me he was extremely upset and apologetic, but he has no intent on changing, which is clear. And I cannot change, because I know what I want and I see no reason for anything TO change at all.

What I’m wondering is… how do I know if this is worth it anymore? If he’s not willing to give me what I feel I need in a relationship, then why am I so eager to appease him, and go out of my way for him, when he holds his feelings so far above mine that he doesn’t even consider how I feel? I’ve never felt this way about anyone or anything (my inclinations toward being a loner have completely vanished, to the extent that I hate being by myself at all nowadays) and he, though always a loner, was content to be in a very time-consuming, intense relationship until recently. I want to know why I’m so clingy and want to stay that way and continue to keep on with things when he’s suddenly about himself, and uncomfortable? I’m at a loss. Any insight you could give me into how I work astrologically, as well as my partner, would be insanely helpful.

The First and Seventh Houses of the horoscope correspond with the needs of self versus the needs one has in a partnership (or the needs of the partnership itself, or the needs of the partner!). Despite the fact that your Gemini Sun and Virgo Moon are both pretty mental-analytical (ruled by communication planet Mercury), your prominent First House Mercury-Mars conjunction is in emotionally sensitive (clingy!) Cancer. Mercury is important in your chart, because it rules your Sun, Moon and Gemini Ascendant. Therefore, its sign and house placement — as well as its aspects to other planets — indicate how you function. Therefore, you need to communicate on a feeling level. Mars energizes Mercury, giving you extra juice to use language to foster a sense of closeness. Cancer is the sign of family and home, and your Moon (the ruler of your Mercury) is conjunct the cusp of your Fourth House of Home and Family. (In fact, Mercury and the Moon are in mutual reception, as they are in each other’s signs.) You really need a feeling of security and stability, a sense of order and routine. Cancer and Virgo are somewhat cautious and conservative signs, not big on change.

The sole planet in your Seventh House of Partnership is Neptune, planet of transcendence and ego-dissolution. It opposes your Mercury-Mars conjunction and trines your Moon. Neptune in the Seventh relates to the desire to “lose oneself” in relationship, to make all manner of sacrifices to manifest your ideal partnership. In aspect to so many of your personal planets, it brings so much compassion and empathy that you are willing to see past problems. Either you prefer to stay in fantasy, or your “caring” buttons are pushed so often that you put up with behavior that other people may not tolerate. (All these planets are intensified by soft aspects from Pluto, as well.)

You’re wondering whether it’s “worth it” anymore. Transiting Saturn, the reality-check planet, has been making aspects to all these planets since the end of last year, and will end its cycle in August. Saturn forces us to assess the weight we are carrying. If certain behaviors or patterns no longer serve us, then it is time to let them go. As Saturn is conjoining your Moon and Fourth House cusp, this transit is primarily about “cementing” a feeling of security in your life. Any relationship that does not help you feel more grounded and safe may not pass the test of time. I figure that by end of summer, you’ll know whether this guy is worth clinging to.

In plain English: The reason you make so many concessions to a man who isn’t giving you what you need is that you’re a sympathetic softie who martyrs yourself on the altar of relationship. Fortunately, you’re getting more serious about your basic needs and will — over the course of the next few months — understand what feeds you and what sucks you dry.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. Tonianne says:

    Thanks for the amazing insight! I’m astonished at how much astrology has taught me about myself thus far. You answering this question has also been a great help, because I wasn’t sure if I was just this way in general, or if it had something to do with him, or what. I’ve learned something really important about myself here.

    Thank you so much
    -Unsure.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Haha. Tried to remain anonymous there, but somehow, blogger figured out who I was through my gmail account. Anyway. So you know my name now, no big deal I guess. haha.

  3. Jeffrey Kishner says:

    You’re welcome! If you’re concerned about anonymity, please let me know and I can delete your comment, and then you can post it again.

  4. Anonymous says:

    I was going threw a similar situation, I’m A Gemini women with moon in Leo .The Libra man I was in love with has moon in Gemini. He drove me nuts, sometimes he use to distance him self so far away for long periods of time. It made me sick inside also depressed: he said things like, I’m cling and needy with extreme mood swings. So I had to let him go, he was killing my sprite. I havn’t met a Libra man yet that was good for me.

  5. I cannot believe how well I was able to connect my self with the writer (gem sun, venus in cancer 7th house).

    uptill last month i was going through the same emotional issues as the writer is. my ex. (sun in libra, venus in scorpio 10th house) has been acting so differently. He never seems to have any time for me, nor would he ever call or message. I tried to communicate my issue with him but to no avail. he would do the exact same thing, apologies and return back to his same nonsense acts. always made me feel like my emotions are abnormal, never did he ever communicated his feelings to me. i ssaid to myself one day, i have to confront him and when i did, i had to listen to all the career [expletive deleted] and how he thought i was different from others. why the hell cant they think of their own mistakes before they speak about others!!!

  6. I know how easy it is to cling to a Libra man. In the beginning when I first met my ex hsuband, we were children :) Later we became friends and thats when my “mother” instinct came along. I was crazy about this poor helpless creature of a man who couldnt make up his mind…I made the decisions, and slowly over a year of dating, I became the guy and he the girl ? How this happened ? Anyways I became pregnant and my insticts were to RUN !!!!! I chose to give him the benefit of the doubt and we got married, the proposal went like this “We need commitment” So much for romance LOL
    When we were married 5 years he got very “self” absorbed, then he left and I was free :) I only clung to him while I was in “motherly” mode, once I had a real child to look after, I felt myself clinging less and less to the guy, thats what it is really, a need to be needed and these are uisually very needy little boys :)

  7. Gemini Gill says:

    I have started to like this Libra guy. We started off as friends at the start of the year. We got along pretty good. I kissed him one night about 2 weeks ago. The next weekend we got VERY drunk and slept with each other. We are still friends now. But i know that when we meet up again (it will be the weekends when we are out about with friends) that we will sleep with each other again. So. Im happy with the way things are, nothing serious or mention of a relationship. But my question is, how do you know if a Libra man really likes you? Do i let him do all the first moves and carry on as friends but friends that are sleeping with each other…??
    I know that Gemini and Libra are meant to be the best suited together.

  8. moon's pawn says:

    i have a question, from a begginner’s stand point:
    I am a cancer, with Libra rising….he is a Gemini, yes i know the warnings, cancer and gemini , like oil and water..?
    I just want to know if my Libra rising, combined with cancer’s unconditional acceptance can make a go of this with a gemini?
    I feel like i can, even though i know it could be a train wreck.
    I don’t know my full chart, or his…

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