Libra ex-husband says the door is never closed

natal chartRosalind provided a birth time (click chart to view) and writes,
I was married to a libra man, we have a child together. i want him back, and he will only say “the door is never closed”. how do i proceed? how do i win back a libra?

Coming from a Libra, “The door is never closed” can mean one of two things:

  • “I’m not willing to say ‘no’ to you because that will hurt your feelings.”
  • “I am not able to make a firm decision, hence the door always remains open.”

In the first case, he is being insincere, and there is no hope of winning him back. In the second case, you have some room to squeeze through the door. Being an Air sign, your ex approaches relationships mentally. Because Libra always views a situation from various perspectives, your ex is balancing both the positive and negative views of your prior relationship with each other. If you can add the weight of rationale to the scale that’s in favor of reunion, then you’ve got a chance.

I suspect that he may have experienced your Jupiter-Mars conjunction in Aries as overbearing, so you should not try to win him over with force or an appeal to “higher reason.” Your best bet may be to rely on the wit of your Mercury in Gemini. Mercury in such a flexible sign knows how to maneuver through cracks and skirt around obstructions. Although not powered by the “almighty” attitude of your Jupiter or your Sagittarius Moon, this is a good thing, for Libra may feel that you’re trying too hard to convince him to take you back.

Your Mercury opposition to fantasy-prone Neptune provides you a strong imagination and poetic flair that will help appeal to Libra’s idealism about relationships. I suggest you use your gift of gab to incrementally win your Libra ex to your side. Then use your fiery and fun Venus in Leo (supported by trines from both Jupiter and Neptune) to turn up the heat in the romance department.

What this means in English: If your Libra ex-husband is of two minds about whether to reunite, convert him to your side with stimulating conversation and playful flirtatiousness. Don’t come on too strong with directness.

Comment below: What do you think “the door is never closed” means? And how would you win back a Libra?

Photo by abbynormy

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. LibraLady says:

    HOPELESS

    We’ve been divorced for 10 years now, the marriage never really “broke down” because it was never real to begin with. He pretended to be someone else and thats the guy I cared for, not the real him. yes, as soon as I told him that I wasnt happy he became more intense about our relationship, at least physically.
    We were childhood friends that both decided to experiment with a new life style I guess, only what I wanted/expected was a lot more serious then what he wanted. The committiment was his idea but he never showed any devotion.
    After we broke up he became obsessed with me, and even now, he wants to get back together. Wrong is wrong, even 10 years later….I know that he would try harder now then he did then, but I hate him.

  2. I am going on 4mos without my boyfriend. and he is very upset with me. I had confronted him about staying out late and bringing “one-nighters” home. We had an open relationship–more his idea than mine–but the problem I had was it seemed that he was more interested in them than he was me. He can drink a lot too and so i called him a drunk. To be honest, the whole situation got out of control. The thing is, however, I love him and don’t want him to stay upset with me about this. True, I called him names and apparently that same night had texted a friend our arguement and he found out. He feels that the trust is broken because he feels that i was talking about him behind his back. Semi-true, but I was angry at him and ppl say all kinds of things when they are upset. I want him back. He went to dinner with my best friend last night and my friend told me it was not too good. Said he feels that its over between us. I don’t want that. We still live together and i am extremely desperate to get back together. What hope do i have. I’m 28 he’s 34. I don’t want to loose him over something this petty and I understand that he’s hurt. PLEASE any advice???

  3. haile d
    If you didnt hurt him really bad, its easy to get a Libra man back, if I called mine and said “I miss you its too bad we arnt together anymore” he would be back instantly, If you tell him you love him (OMG what Libra can resist that?)The number one goal for a Libra is to be loved. If youve done something mean then you out in effort to fix it, he will love it, or as in your case all you did was say something he didnt like at the time, all you have to do is look at him with you saddest eyes tell him you miss him and sigh, he will not be able to sleep that night, thet become obsessed, oh and wear your prettiest most feminine blouse or dress (they cant resist girls in a dress) To a Libra, romance is oxygen. We need it to live.

  4. Thats all he needs, just that recognition that you miss and love him.

  5. Libraman61 says:

    Bull’s-eye you know us (me) so well. Women want alpha’s and that’s just not us (me), although we-re good actors, in the end we-re just nice guys and you know where they finish. Libra women are the most beauitful on the outside at least.
    Some of my fav’s Mya, Jenna Elfman, Janeane Garofalo, Amber Rose, Claudia Black, Kim Kardashian, Monica Bellucci, Heather Hunter, Katja Kassin, Linda Hamilton.

  6. I’m a Libra, one thing i know for a fact, is that we forgive a person for just about anything, in order for a Libra to abandon his/her relationship is because, there was something very hurtful that you have done to them throughout the relationship for years.

  7. Libra’s are one of the most loving, generous, caring and forgiving peoples in the whole world.

  8. I’m involved with a married libra man (don’t get mad at me. If it wasn’t me, he’d take up with someone else). I never ever wanted a serious relationship with him. It’s just for sex. So anyway he backed off & said no more sex until I make a commitment to him. WHAT??? He never mentioned leaving his wife. I only see him like once a month, on his schedule. His venus is in virgo. He’s always been adorable sweet until lately. I made one statement “I’m just effing with your head” Now he keeps bringing it up like every word that comes out of my mouth is a lie. I was joking!!! I can’t get him to see that it was a joke. Then he said “how would you like it if I effed with your head right back?!” I’m glad I don’t love him. I can see where it would be pure hell on earth. I don’t understand him, how he expects everyone to follow his rules when he can’t even set an example of living it. I know he’s on a dating website too & I checked it to see if he has logged on recently. Yep. He constantly tells me I’m too unstable. The relationship is too unstable for him to trust me. I’m a capricorn, you know I’m grounded. I just laugh it off (behind his back). It’s like watching a movie & I’m the only one in it who isn’t an actor!! LOL.

  9. My Libra is a pretty nice guy to talk to & generally pleasant to deal with, but this cappy just doesn’t know how he’s so blind to his own actions. Oh yeah, to tell him “you’re not being fair”, “you’re a bad person” when he’s acting up will calm him down every time… he just backs off, thinks about it, then returns with a better attitude.

  10. John Mayer is an excellent example of Libra man!!!

  11. @LibraLady Wow, I completely know what it’s like. This guy acts completely different than his opinion of himself. It’s actually entertaining to watch if you aren’t emotionally involved. I could love him if I let myself but I can’t deal with the flip flopping, preaching, acting like a jeckll and hyde. I mean, I cannot take him serious enough to let my guard down. However, he is very lovely to be with. I do enjoy that. I guess with a libra man you gotta take the good with the bad if you want him in your life. There is no changing him!!! I don’t think it gets better with maturity either, maybe it slows down but the behavior is always there to roam.

  12. OK, so what I’m reading here is that a Libra man will just about always forgive what’s said or done to him in the name of love? In other words, he can be an asshole, I can call him on it in a very direct way, and at some point, I can expect him to want to patch things up? And my role in this is to tell him I still love him (which quite frankly, I do-and would-if he had the balls to call me and tell ME he loves ME!) I’m an Aquarius and usually end up friends with my exes. The funny thing is, once I am COMPLETELY over them…that’s when I start getting the puppy dog behavior, calling me, wanting to spend time with me, mooning over me-happens just about every time. Leo, Sag, Libra- they’ve all done it. But, this Libra happens to live 2,000 miles away, and I’m thinking I’m just too far away for him to believe things could work out-although we have had discussions about who would move where . Thing is, he stopped calling and it’s killing me. What do I do now?

  13. capleo
    You are probably right, some guys don’t grow up and change, some just get older in age. Its a shame but I swear some guys are too crazy to totally fall in love, its beyond their capacity. Not just any sign, I’ve met so many guys with different signs that refuse to grow up. I’m living with and engaged to my Aquarian soul mate now but we are almost 40 and met a year ago….It just happens that way sometimes.

    Elizabeth
    If you love him and it hurts then you have to tell him. He has to know or he won’t budge. My ex husband once told me be careful what you wish for when we were just starting to live together, Wish I’d listened to his warning. A libra man will warn you if he knows he will hurt you, he will, so listen to everything he says carefully, they just know if they’re going to mess with you oneday. in that case RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. Thank you, LibraLady. It so happens the same night I posted my last comment, I got a text from him-I’m starting to HATE texting, makes it so easy for people to be cowardly-and he said he will always love me, but he has been completely overwhelmed by his feelings. Sounds like a kiss off to me. I texted him back and said I loved him & if he ever changes his mind to let me know. I don’t know what else I can do without looking like a total fool….maybe stepping back is the only thing I should do.

  15. OK, so my long distance Libra has a birthday coming up in 3 weeks, and I find myself of 2 minds…..send a birthday card letting him know I would like to remain friends, OR telling him I still love him and logically stating the facts why he should give this another go. Any Libra men out there with any advice?

  16. I wouldn’t send him nay correspondence at all, he needs to get off his butt and make a move, the ball is in his court where you left it. He hasn’t been contacting you so why stroke his ego? Let him worry and wonder for a while, besides how hard did he bother for you on your last Bday?

  17. LibraLady, we did not reconnect until long after my birthday this year. His situation is that he lives in a small Southern town 2,000 miles away from me, for financial reasons can’t make a move for at least a couple years and I think sometimes I intimidate him a little with my straightforwardness. I’m obviously unwilling to let this one go just yet…and I’m wondering if he just needs a little nudge from me, being an indecisive Libran and all. We’re not kids and frankly at this age, I don’t really care if his ego is stroked or not-we both love each other, he just thinks it’s hopeless right now because of the distance/financial issues. I don’t want him to think that I’m so hurt that we can’t at least stay on friendly terms. I’m an Aquarian, we like to keep the door open too LOL

  18. LibraLady says:

    Elizabeth
    Sounds like he needs to get his act together. I know it is hard to move, and being broke doesn;t help, but when the heart wants what it wants that doesn’t matter. Its just as easy to get a job miles away as it is where someone is. They way I love my Aqua guy, I would travel to another planet if I had to, to be with him. I know he would for me too. Its easier facing hell together then appart. We get broke and theres a 15 yr old kid involved (my son) but we put our heads together and work it all out. I would rather live in a shack with him then a mansion with anyone else. Of course he is the Aquarian, I think gender wise a Libra woman has more passion for life then a Libra man, I hope that your guy pulls up his big boy pants and takes some chances. I am indecisive too, about the unimportant stuff, when it comes to love, I know what I want and will work to keep it. Sometimes they need more then a nudge, they need a reality check. I had to lay it on the line for my Libra ex many times. He wouldn’t budge unless I lit a fire under his ass. Its true. With my Aquarian Man, life is so much easier, theres never a doubt that we’re on the same page. He is so stubborn so I know that everything he does is his own idea, that makes it better. When we have a problem its only because someone else tried to interfere and they get corrected right away. Between him and I, no problems. My libra ex is going to be here in 2 days. he hasn’t shown any interest in our son in years and hasn;t been here since 2006. Now hes heard that I’m engaged and wants to lay eyes on my Aqua Man, they get jealous btw, libra men are very jealous. Its been 11 years since mine left me, (and he left me) and he wrote me a very nasty letter last month about our past relationship and how he is so happy that I have someone new. (he always thought I would beg him to come back LOL) It took 11 years to sink in his head that I don’t want him back. Since he left, I haven’t called him once, a year after he left me he took me to court to fight for custody for our son that he never wanted just because he was mad that I never begged him to come home. We spent 4 years in and out of court and I finaly won because he gave up trying, they do that too btw. Of course that made me hate his guts and the fool really thought that we could be together again. He was going to hurt our son just to hurt me. He made that no secret from me, he wanted me to live in hell so I would beg for him to come back. I fought him straight on instead. Now he is on his way from another province to eyeball my new man. Its like he has no concept of time. Its been 11 yrs and he still acts like this is a big surprise. What did he expect? If he tries to hurt my son, I will make him wish he was dead.

  19. LibraLady, so sorry about the problems with your Libra ex. Sounds like a jerk but astrological signs don’t prevent that ….well, mine sent me several texts last night after not hearing a peep from him in almost 2 months. The classic Libra disappearing act. I did end up sending him a birthday card but all I wrote was Love, Elizabeth. I figured if he wanted to hear more, he would contact me. I knew he would. Boy did I hear from him…how much he loves me, he dreams about me all the time, you know all that romantic stuff they love. My Libra is the opposite of yours when it comes to his kids. He won’t leave until the youngest is out of high school. I support that, actually, as much as I wish we were closer. In the meantime, I started seeing a much younger man (Pisces)…just what I needed while Libra made up his indecisive mind, so we will see what happens over the next few months. He doesn’t know it yet, but I will be in the south next March, so if he hasn’t disappeared again on me, we will see each other. Wish me luck. And if I were you, I wouldn’t let your ex near my son. He sounds toxic as all hell.

  20. Hi libralady,

    My libra and I went through a huge fight. I ambushed him and thrown hurtful words and lied to him cuz he dumped me. and I was so disappointed..

    To make the story short because I was hopeless of getting him back, I twisted and lied to him saying, sorry I’m no longer interested with you I had an incredible sex last night, he sent me lots of msgs and even told me I’d change less than a month, hahaha. so I replied cause I’m moving on and don’t want you anymore. OMG, finally after a day we fought via sms he wanted to see me that was 3 weeks ago from the day we broke up. So we met together. He told me everything and he became generous cuz I told him he was too selfish. We’re ok now, but am sad cuz he’s far and he’s on the place where bad signals exist, He will comeback after 3 weeks he told me. I missed him so much.. We had lots of ups and downs and I am cruel to him and he was too nice to me. hahaha.

    Can you advice me what makes him to fall in love with me to improve our relationship better.
    I appreciate your opinion. He was born September 23. Can you read his chart? If you can.

    thanks in advance

  21. LibraLady says:

    Marie
    I haven;t done his chart, I forgot the sight where I did mine and my Aquas, sorry, but I do know that Libra men are never really over you, my ex left me 11 yrs ago, to teach me a lesson, I was suposed to call him and beg him to come back (guess I didn;t learn my lesson, I never called) last week he showed up because he heard through our son that I’m engaged, it made him jealous! OMg, its been 11 years and he still thinks I belong to him? I can’t say for your guy but my ex husband is superficial, He is suposedly involved with someone right now, yet he still can’t get me out of his head. I look a certian way, he liked that, he liked being seen with me, he liked touching me, it was all like that, I was his pretty toy. There was no real affection or anything like I get from my Aqua guy now, it was all about him. Your guy has been nice to you, my ex wasn’t nice to me, it was the opposite, I tried to please and he liked to indulge. He did try to be a good lover, I will give him that, but out of the bedroom, we had nothing. I can’t advise you about you guy, he sounds very different then my ex husband. They are all visual though, he probably loves the way you look, and thats not wrong, but if he is nice to you then there is something a lot deeper there then I had with my ex. I think he really loves you. You probably found yourself the good type of Libra, the kind that loves deeper then they can understand. I know the type, I am one LOL I love my Aqua Man more then life.

  22. LibraLady says:

    Marie
    He was selfish at first? He is changing? Thats great, you’re worth it to him. I was never worth change from my ex, he will never change. he only loves himself. Your guy sounds sincere, Libras will only go through effort like that if they care, it has to be worth it to them. Hurtful words are more hurtful to a Libra then you think though, we absorb all negative things, it haunts us, it hurts and we don’t show it. I still remember harsh words I heard as a child and I’m 40, it shapes the self image, it road blocks the future. If you meant what you said, good, but if you didn’t he has to know, he will feel its sting for a long time.

  23. Libralady,

    Thanks a lot. I’m good now. He came yesterday and texted me he’s here in the city for an appointment and going back tomorrow. He came to my apartment. Yes he’s a good man and changed as I always told him to get out in his rut cuz sometimes he doesn’t even know what he feels to all his past GF. I always told him to move on cuz if not I”ll be the one to move on. He just smiled saying I moved on.
    lol. You’re right, I know he was hurt but he didn’t show it to me in fact, he changed. When I pay our bills then he never forget to send message that He will repay later cuz he always pay the bills and open the door for me when I walk..he’s charming, sweet guy.
    I wanted to keep him…cuz he’s a ggod man and he never says any bad words to me as much as I did to him. He always told me, I ‘m cruel but he’s learning a lot from me that relatinship isn’t just take and take or showing off the world that you’re this when you’re not. He became humble as he said I’m an honest in my part yet brutal. I know he loves me but he’s afraid to lost me if we go through much deeper.. I trust my intuition.

    Ohh my ex live in partner was an aqua. But I never wanted him to comeback in my life. He abused me.

  24. Hey everybody, I could really use some help…

    I’ve been dating my Libra boyfriend on and off for a little over three years now. Last year, he wasn’t very supportive of where I got my job out of grad school (it was an hour away) and he refused to ever travel to come see me. It was just a time of constant fighting and we both never really discussed our true emotions…long story short, I cheated on him over the past year. I now have moved closer to where he lives and we are talking again. He knows how sorry I am, and how I feel that our problems last year don’t justify my actions. I’m actually even going to counseling to learn to communicate better (he’s aware). We’re only supposed to talk once a week, but it usually ends up as every other day. I miss him constantly, and I hate myself for what I did. He says he doesn’t really now how he feels…just a bunch of mixed emotions like anger and hurt and confusion…which I completely understand. I don’t want to lose him. What can I do?

  25. hi Kim,

    I think you have to do the first move. Let him know how sorry you were. But, I can’t promise if he
    is willing for a reconciliation. My libraman tried to get back his ex wife cuz they have children
    but he was deceived by her cuz she was pregnant and didn’t even told him during reconciliation till they made love that night,, so it was painful for him to left but there’s no other way but to leave,,,,then he left again and don’t want to get back even if its hurt it’s been 8 yrs ago.
    Just do your best. Doesn’t mean you’re cheap. But just think it was your mistake. Acknowledge your mistakes might be a good way to redeem yourself. Don’t overdo it. Simple apology.

  26. Kim
    The fact that you are going to get counselling should show him that you care enough about him to make things better. But you know , think of how he treated you, he didn’t want to travel with you to school? He didn’t exactly put much effort into the relationship did he, why are you feeling guilty for what you did? Look at how cold he is towards you, sounds a lot like my ex husband, he never bothered for anything, when a man really loves you he worries about you, he wants to see you to the door safely, he wants to do things for you, gifts are easy, time and effort is what shows real love. My Aqua waits untill I’m safely in the office where I work before he drives away, if he’s exhausted he will still get out of bed to drive me or my son to where we need to go, he does everything out of love, I go to night school and he insists on driving me even when my familly offers instead. If I need anything and I didn’t tell him he gets mad, insulted, he is devoted and loving and a complete opposite to my ex Libra. There are some good Libra guys too, my grandfather would have moved the earth slightly to the left if he could to please my grandmother, (also Libra, very rotten) he was loving and devoted and my grandmother (monster) she left him. Then she met another good Libra man years later and spent years hurting him, so I’m not just picking on Libra men, there are some good ones, there are some rotten eggs in every sign. But back to my point, does he really put the effort in, does he make you feel loved and cherished? How much are you worth to him? I wasn’t even worth it to my ex husband to put down a sandwich to help me with our baby. They don’t get better even when you have a kid, either they love you enough to treat you right or they don’t. Don’t get trapped like I did, I thought he would change. I didn;t even notice how bad he treated our son or me, not untill we were together for 5 years, it sneaks up on you. You make excuses for him, “He just wasn;t thinking.” Well think guy, either shit or get off the pot.

  27. aquarius09 says:

    Libra never closes the door because he wants the cheating outlet available to him, when things get difficult between him and his new partner. Anyone who keeps their ex is a retard!! No ifs and buts!! Feelings can always return as we all know that we don’t control our emotions. Not to mention your bf/gf will most likely have a problem with you still speaking to your ex flame who you were once intimate with. Men and women are possessive, especially if they love you. It’s the fear of losing that person that makes one insecure.

    Libras keep the door open because they love and it’s hard for them to stop loving unless you really wrong them. My ex kept me in his life, only as an outlet to cheat on his present gf or maybe he was hoping to get with me in the future. He was really messed up. lol

  28. aquarius09
    There are a few Libras that are incapable of love, my Libra grandmother was a heartless old witch with a cold black heart, she manipulated and hurt all the men in her life and all of her kids. She was married to a Libra man, he was devoted and kind but she spit in his face and years later she married an Aqua man with a good soul and she hurt him too. If I were to tell you how she treated her daughter, my Mom, It would take years to read and a lot of aspirin to get rid of the headache…Bitter old Sow. I hope she still lives, shes too ugly to die, (the dead don’t suffer) My ex husband is another example of a heartless Libra, in 15 years he has never once told our son that he loves him. He is a piece of work. Anyways, there are Libras that Love and Libras that have no heart….Hope you find the good type.

  29. I forgot to mention, noone hates a Libra more then another Libra thats been wronged by them.

  30. @capleo

    i am a capricorn woman who has been in a toxic relationship with a libra man for a year nd a half and he jzt recently broke up with a cappy. yesi wuz a side peice too. he will never be the devoted man u want him to be and the fact that ur grounded nd may try to get him to stand still with you is like trying to tie up air. doesnt work! and the more you try the more resentful and abusive he’ll become. keep yourself distant and if you start loosing yourself in those puppy eyes RUN!!!!

  31. A little update on my long distance Libra….just an FYI and possible warning to anyone out there who loves a Libra man who keeps disappearing…mine disappeared a 2nd time, right around the holidays. I gave up on him and moved on. I figured I didn’t want someone in my life with so much disregard for my feelings anyway. Fast forward 5 months. I hear from my Libra, and he is very drunk. After a confusing 45 minute conversation, I realized for the very first time I had spoken with the real man, not the facade he had presented to me last year. I think he is the perfect example of the Libra man who cannot, or will not, make up his mind and has given in to his demons. He is going to be a lonely, drunk old man, many Libra men end up this way due to their indecisiveness. As for me, I took a lesson away with me and have been seeing other, more decisive, kind men.

  32. eyepink says:

    iam a SAGITTARIUS I NEED HELP ME AND MY LIBRA WAS ENGAGED I LIED TO HIM ABOUT A GUY THAT I DATED BEFORE HIM HE ASKED ME I LIED HE CALLED OFF THE ENGAGEMENT ITS BEEN 1 MONTH HE WONT TALK TO ME AND ALREADY SEEING SOMEONE NEW IS THIS TO PISS ME OFF OR HAS HE REALLY MOVED ON IAM SOOO HURT HELP!!!!!

  33. eyepink,

    hahaha. u should responsible to ur own actions.
    my libra and i broke up 5 months ago.
    then i manipulated him that i am dating.
    his friend invited me for dinner.
    i told him…then he came to my apartment
    and told me i disrespected him..
    I told him i lied to him that im going out that night..
    which he was there to confirmed.lol
    i hugged him. he refused. he told me he is ok now.
    then he said i will go with his friend.
    im ok. it doesent bother me to lose him.lol

  34. eyepink,

    play it cool. if he loves you enough. he will have an ear to listen.
    a heart that can forgive. if not, lose him.
    why botehring proving urself better and get disapproval.

    hahaha.

    Im scorpio. I am more sensitive than you.

    but i learned to play it off. or gonna dank my head.lol

  35. In my opinion. Libra is the most patient and understanding of all the signs, hence they don’t close doors. It’s always possible to reconcile but you can never fix broken glass.

  36. You cant fix their mind. They cannot make it up to you.

  37. NewlyWedLibraLady says:

    Marie
    I am Scorpio Rising and Venus in Scorpio and I was raised by a scorpio woman, the most sensitive and the most vulnerable in love. I also know that Scorpios will take the necessary time it takes to get revenge when its needed. The world needs more Scorpios……..You can’t change the world by being docile.

  38. Newlywedlibralady,

    Let me ask..what do u mean by your words?

    Are u mad? Just asking..

    I know I can’t change the world. No one does. lol

    Asking a fool and control their behaviors is not a scorpio’s Goal.

    In fact, Scorpio knows their boundaries..

    True. scorpios are vulnerable.

  39. Hey EVERYONE!
    I met my Libra guy in May 2010 in Afghanistan.
    he was married at the time and I didn’t want to get involved, but he charmed me from the moment we met. We ended up together after 2 months of friendship, and it was magic, best 3 months of my life.
    Forward to end of September 2010, he left home and I went to Spain.
    We planned to sabotage his marriage, so he ended up separating in Dec. 2010.
    His wife moved out and we met in the middle of Feb.
    One thing I’m going to tell you is that he completely changed my life. I never wanted to marry or have kids, and he made me see a future together.
    He moved to Hawaii in April so I visited, and then we were off again and then I spent the summer in Hawaii with him. Until I had to come back to work in Afghanistan in September 2011.
    I have a feeling he never forgave me for that.
    He’s super charming, and feels very comfortable around girls, so this past summer he introduced me to this Capricorn girl he’s working with.
    She had trouble in her marriage, and is currently divorcing, and she said she would’ve never felt comfortable hanging out with him unless I was there.
    So we ended up going to places all 3 of us, surfing, etc.
    He met my parents in September too. forgot to mention.
    He loves buying me expensive stuff, which I don’t dislike, but I’m more into simple stuff and symbolic (Sagittarius here!)
    So I was here for over a month and a half, he sent me a gorgeous care package full of super cute stuff.
    I forgot to mention he’s terrible with money and he’d spend to the last cent on presents.
    So he told me about this incident at a club where he went out with this Capricorn I was telling you about, and a couple, friends of her husband. the dude thought he was kissing her, so he shoved him, and they ended up fighting. He told me straight away that night that she leaned in to tell him something and that dude thought they were kissing.
    Soon after that, he had a competition at work, and he was being very vague about what’s going on, and then we ended up arguing – well because he’s just always vague.
    Forgot to mention we were planning to buy a house together and I gave him the downpayment money.
    So he told me he lost the competition, and that day we had a huge fight over it, because he called me to vent on the phone, and I told him to not bother calling me back.
    I always told him he should take some time to get to know himself because he went straight from a 4 year marriage to a distance relationship. He always refused to give up on me, and told me he always felt like he has to fight me to be with me. He’s very moody and selfish but the sweetest person when he wants to be.
    Anyway after the competition, since he refused to answer, I sent him an e-mail saying he’s super selfish especially with money, and I don’t see a future with him anymore, especially with him verbally abusing me.
    He completely disappeared!
    then after a week I wrote him that I would give him the space he needs and that I am a constant in his life and he told me I was the girl he loved and would give his life for, etc.
    we talked, and I told him I can’t trust him anymore because he gave up on me, and did this, and he said he never felt I really trusted him.
    he said we need to take the relationship down a level and he needs to focus more on being a better father ( he’s got a 2 year old) and finish with his divorce ( his ex was procrastinating over the paperwork). and that he misses me as his friend, and we’re unhealthy for eachother. then he disappeared again and he would just respond once in a while.
    I found out horrible things about him and the Capricorn.
    No offence to anyone but I don’t trust Capricorn girls, so this chick was acting nice lying about her husband, and she didn’t want me to talk to him (after the club incident her husband whom I haven’t met called to ask why he wasn’t answering his calls – they’re friends too , but through her).
    Her husband and I have been talking (He’s a sagittarius too) and it turns out that they did kiss – or at least that’s what I’ve been told, and a bunch of other drama. She told her husband while we were on skype and she called, that she’s attracted to my guy, and it’s not physical, and she admitted that they kissed.
    forgot to mention my guy wanted them to move in with us in the new apartment to help with the mortgage.
    She ended up moving herself and when I confronted my guy with it he said I agreed from the start.
    She told her husband that I won’t no no no move in with them.
    We have 2 dogs and she’s got 2.
    I found out horrible things about her, and I told my guy even though he wasn’t talking to me anymore. I tell him every day how much I love him. He took me off his facebook relationship status but I still have a picture there. the only one he put up because apparently he’s the man and I am the one doing girly shit.
    He TOLD HER that me and her husband talked and I heard her on the phone while me and her husband were skyping- AFTER I told him to keep this between us and to debate it together. I felt so betrayed, especially after all the intimate confessions we made to each other throughout the year. I really thought this was special and he told me I was the perfect being for him, and that he would NEVER leave me, and we had plans for marriage and kids.
    so now he won’t answer my phone and I wrote him a nasty e-mail about being a traitor and having no balls to talk to me, the love of his life. I cannot believe he went and told her. She’s a sneaky b**ch. She blocked me and her husband off of facebook today and he refuses to answer any of my e-mails.
    He lies to me about places he goes to (he would tell me to the last detail everything he’d eat). My bday was Dec.17 and we barely spoke a little and he said he was busy doing something – moving I guess.
    For his b-day Oct. 18 he told me he got the most heartfelt gift ever from me and I always made everything special to him.
    I know he’s obsessed with my body and could never keep his hands off of me. He told me plently of times how she’s not attractive and he thinks she’s ugly.
    I don’t know if she said all those things to her husband to push him away, but I know she wanted to divorce him before she met us.
    He hasn’t text me for about a week and won’t answer any of my e-mails, but I definitely know he’s reading them since he told her that I heard her saying that shit.
    I want to visit him in June, because we were planning to move back together in October. I know where they live, because he gave me the address when he was looking for the place, and I just want to show up and slaughter the b**Ch. I know I can seduce him in a minute and whenever we’d be on the phone he’d keep repeating how he doesn’t KNOW if he still wants us to be together, that we gave eachother numerous chances, and I will end up breaking his heart again.
    Oh I forgot to add that when I asked him straightforward once whether we’re still together, regardless of our feelings, he said I’m his best friend and it brings tears to his eyes every day when he thinks of me and us, but I’ve broken his heart too many times and he prays that I stay in his life and that he still loves me and always will.
    I want to know he’s there, I never left, I am fully committed and loyal.
    I want to know if he got with her.
    I saw some pictures on fb where they went hiking with a group of friends and he said they took him out because he was depressed over me. I know I am the love of his life and he loves me, but I don’t know what else to do.
    He always told me he knows I was bullshitting about breaking up, but I think he really took it hard this time. I love him to death and I’d never give up on him , but he’s changed so much I don’t even know who he is anymore.
    I hope somebody can give me an answer whether I should pursue this.
    Thank you!
    I know I might’ve left a thing or two out but he’s also had a traumatizing childhood and always told me that his feelings might contradict his actions, and that I was supposed to help him express his feelings – he always sounded monotone. and that I should tell him to calm down when he crosses the limit and that should be his trigger signal.
    Hope you guys can help.
    thanks again

  40. @Denisa
    Wow. I didn’t have to finish reading your story to know he hooked up with the Capricorn girl. And, he is now LIVING WITH HER?

    There just sounds like so much chaos. You have to think about how everything started. It started on a foundation of him being unfaithful to his wife. And, he is still married. Apparently, he cannot be trusted to give the full honest truth in a situation (lying about the Cap ‘leaning’ into him). If there was a fight, it was because there are things that happen that he wasn’t disclosing. And, the fact that he is in the midst of getting a divorce indicates that he is at least 50% responsible for some relationship challenges with his wife. Then you say he has financial problems. He sounds like he needs to be BY HIMSELF in order to get his affairs in order. Even you pointed out that he jumped from a 4 year marriage into a long distance relationship.

    Libras vacillate. Even when they commit to a choice they wonder if the other choice would have been better. The key is for them to find a rooted center. It sounds like he doesn’t know how to be alone. And, it sounds like the foundation of both of your relationship is rooted on shaky ground.

  41. @NovLady, Thanks so much for responding. It’s so nice to know somebody is reading and caring.
    Yup I am still in denial about it, because he denied the whole thing that they kissed, and I never further questioned it. He told me that when it happened, he thought this was going to cause another fight between us, and I just listened and was there for him. He told me he went surfing and was walking on his tippy toes cuz of how happy he was. He never bothered to respond to the Cap’s husband’s phone calls because he said he didn’t want to deal with the drama.
    When i told him that he let her into OUR house he told me that I agreed with it.
    I am starting to believe this was their initial plan, because it was pretty obvious to me that she wasn’t going to make up with her husband at all. And I was going to be here for a while.
    Yup she’s got 2 dogs and he’s got our dogs too.
    I know…how we started was always a big part of my insecurities towards him. I always told him that we started off as friends and hanging out together and being together all the time, and the Cap was doing the same thing. I always told him to be careful because girls always look for an opportunity. I never did. I really never did. I had guilt trips for months over this and he kept telling me it wasn’t working with his wife and he realized that when he went on RnR after deploying. She was indeed a bully and gained a lot of weight and was just a bad person. That I know.
    I am trying to trust him, and believe everything he says, but after I specifically told him to keep what I told him about the Cap between us, and I heard the Cap’s husband saying it to me, that she knows I heard her on skype while they were on the phone, was just TOO MUCH betrayal to me. I genuinely asked him that if he loved me the way he says he does, he will keep this between us. I told him he was selfish and showed me his true colors.
    I know they had a rocky marriage, and he’s known her since he was 12 but then they separated, and then they met again when he was 18 and they decided to start but turns out she was never the way he expected, and he just stayed in because she was there. But I helped him realize a lot of things and made him think for himself, but now that i think about it, I feel like I’ve created a monster.
    He told me he wanted to take our relationship down a level and focus on being a better father and get over with the divorce, and then he said we were unhealthy for each other and that we harm each other, and this went down to just staying away from me.
    He started talking about us getting married and having babies together from the first months we got together. It bothered him terribly whenever I’d mention we should wait or I want to take things slow or just figure out things along the relationship. He told me he didn’t want anyone else from the moment he met me. And I was the only person that didn’t make him wonder about past girlfriends. I know he didn’t wonder about his wife, but if he is indeed with the Cap, I wil lmake him regret ever leaving my ass. He was bottom line obsessed with my body and face and voice, and character. I know he will always regret it and I will make sure he does. He hasn’t taken me off his facebook and I’m supposed to go on rnr sometime soon and I’ll make sure he sees how much fun I’m having.
    I know he loves me and I love him to death and I want to prove him that I am there for him and always will be. I just cannot let go of him, I never found someone more perfect for me out there. He’s highly imperfect but his ass is perfect for me. We’re both difficult by nature but we complete each other perfectly.

  42. @Denisa
    It sounds like you are going back and forth yourself. You are aware of his shady behavior and inconsistencies, want him to regret you, yet, feel he is the best man suited for you. It sounds like you are very much emotionally conflicted.

    You have to listen to what a man says and especially to what he is DOING. His actions are the best barometer for what he is offering.

    It sounds very painful, but I am sure you would be able to attract someone even more reliable for you if that is what you desire.

  43. The Libra door may never fully shut, but depending on circumstances, it may depend on how much it opens ;) or weather they are willing to re-open a relationship.. they may just want to smooth things over, they do not like confrontation. Also they feel guilt for shutting people out, does not mean that they open the doors to a loving relationship..

  44. I know….I know I sound confused…but I know what we had. But you’re right, I’ll just let the time decide. I’m in no mind set to take decisions for myself right now, so I have to let things cool off. I know I can have anyone I want, but it’s him that I choose to be with and have a future with. I’ll keep you guys posted !!!

  45. Im a capricorn, and i was with a libra man and broke up with him last march. Since i left him, hes dated numerous other women but has mentioned that he misses me and hates when i act like i don’t miss him numerous times. However, when i tried to be upfront with him and tell him how i felt, his reply was that he liked me but he was not ready for a relationship he ‘justs wants to talk to people.” The next week he was in a relationship and i was confused. Then he did something that pissed me off and i decided not to speak with him. The only problem is i think i might possibly love him and that definitely does not happen every day for me because i am hardly ever wooed over by a guy. Its out of character for me, but it makes me wonder should i give up on him or give it a chance? Even though i think i might love him, i still am confused about if he loves me.

  46. Oh & i agree with Angela he was the sweetest ever and then he changed….

  47. I’m libra. It s simple :
    i forgive 99, 99999999% pct of the time. I ve been hurt many times and always forgave.
    But i have my red lines. If you genuily act as a bad person against me, you can do about anything, your do not even exist anymore. I usually cry easely, but those that i genuily beleive they acted as a bad person towards me do not provoque a single sentiment anymore, ever.

  48. Taurusgirl says:

    I am a Taurus and I dated a libra for almost 2yrs. Our relationship seemed perfect well at least I thought it was perfect. We work in the same place. one day he decided to just ended. He said he couldn’t do the rollercoaster ride of ups and downs anymore.

    I am the type that is straight forward with anything and he is the type that will hold everything in and doesn’t like to communicate and talk about issues. It took me a long time to tell him I love you when he said it a month after us dating. We spent 24/7 together.

    A month before he eneded it I noticed he started to act different. When he broke up with me I didn’t look for him the next two days. He came to work and said I had started a stalking behavior. I had no Idea he was saying this. I text him 2 days later and asked him if we can talk. He refused and was so angry at me. so many things were being said at work and I was hearing these things by a third party but never from him. After a week I text him and he didn’t answer so I went to his house and talked to him for 10 min. I asked him why was he saying so many negative things about me at work? he denyed everything. I believed him because I loved him. A month passed and I was hearing he was going to put a restraining order on me I text him letting him know I was going to stop by at his place. He didn’t text back. I was there we talked he said I hurt him because he felt I never listen to him or appreciated him and we were even intimate. I asked him what now? he said he wanted to be single. I asked him then why be intimate with me? His response was you let yourself and I haven’t had it in a long time.

    I left his house 2 days later I was told he went to HR and reported me saying I was patroling his house. I was served with a restraining order a week later. I went to court with my atorneys and he dismissed it after he wasn’t able to pospone it and wasn’t prepare to fight me. He plays the victim at work and can’t talk to me unless we really have too.

    It’s been 5 months now, we talk work related stuff if I have too and I catch him here and there staring. We don’t talk or see each other outside of work.

    I still have feelings for him even after everything. Do you guys think this Libra man still cares about me? Do libra men get Jealous when they see their ex with another man even though they are the ones who broke up the relationship?

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