Why do Scorpio men stare?
January 23, 2008 by Jeffrey Kishner
You’re at a party, and he’s there in the corner, alone, probing you with his deep, intense eyes. It’s unnerving. You’re either excited by the prospect of being devoured, or freaked out by his stalkerish behavior. You try to distract yourself by talking to a friend, but you feel his energy even when you’re not looking in his direction. What’s up with that dude? Why does he stare at you?
The Spy Who F****d Me
He’s studying you. In two different ways. First, he’s undressing you with his eyes. All men do this, but Scorpio is an especially sexual sign, so he’ll be absorbing your curves, and if you don’t dress to bring attention to your shape, he’ll be wondering what’s beneath your loose-fitting clothing. Second, he’s investigating how you tick. Like any good detective or psychotherapist, Scorpio observes your mannerisms. He notices that you fiddle with your earrings when you’re flirting. Or that you run your palms down the side of your thighs a few times when you feel nervous. All your idiosyncracies get filed away in Scorpio’s emotional hard drive, so that when he finally interacts with you, he’ll know how to work his way into your psyche (or your pants).
Wearing Shades in Daylight
Although staring is far from indirect, there’s a “passivity in power” aspect to this behavior. Scorpio’s not making any moves on you, and yet he’s totally got your attention. Unlike a fire sign like Aries, Leo or Sagittarius, he doesn’t do it with enthusiasm or dramatic flair. Rather, it’s his focus that does the trick. A Sag will tell a grand story to the whole room, making his audience erupt in laughter, while Scorpio uses laser consciousness to focus solely upon you. And the beauty of it is that no one else notices he’s staring!
Scorpio’s an expert at hiding. If he didn’t want you to know he was looking at you, you’d be oblivious. Perhaps you’d feel that you’re being watched, but you wouldn’t be able to identify your observer. Therefore, if you see Scorpio staring, it’s because he wants you to know that he’s interested in you.
Comment below: What do you do? Approach him? Wait for him to come up and talk to you? What if he never does?
First photo by furryscaly, second by Delwin, both under CC license.
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I just found this statement from yamazaru in a different post: “The greatest weakness of a Scorpio is that they don’t act until fully assured and ready.”
I am an aries woman and I can always indentify a scorpio because of that penetrating stare. I never have such a visceral reaction to anything else like I do the “stare.” It makes me so nervous that I literally have the fear or flight response, and I have to run away. It feels like I am having a panic attack. lol.. I don’t know why…maybe someone can shed some light.
Scoprs or not, no one has ever managed to look at me like that and pass unnoticed.
What do I do, I look back, straight in the eyes with a Monalisa smile, keep my eyes on his long enough so he knows I know, then carelessly continue doing what ever I was doing at that specific moment. Rinse and repeat…
Mostly I don’t initiate contact.
I wish someone would stare at me like that :/
Just to add… it’s a game in which I say ‘Bring it, I can take you!’
Staring at someone just makes them insecure. Period.
(we do this in restaurants when we were bored many years ago as little kids).
I am SO HAPPY this blog is up. I am a scorpio myself and so is my ex, and i;ve learned so much thru this website. I am a dove/eagle and he is a gray lizard. He stares all the time at me, yet has a gf.
“The greatest weakness of a Scorpio is that they don’t act until fully assured and ready.”
That is so true. U dont wnat to let to much of your guard down. keep thsi great posts coming!
even if i am attracted to such a person i am…. indifferent. maybe bec i have moon in scorpio, maybe for whatever reason, i am empathetic in picking up a sexualized emotionality, intensity, but as gemini sun..there is a weakness. why so direct granny? emotionally i am piqued but intellectually i cant abide. dont kno what is my prob – competition, too egotistic, simultaneous disgust-desire, cold heart ?! anyway.
i can instadetach but may obsess later at being so blabla and bitch, and have tried to rehunt down peeps to do a few observations of my own. hmmm..heinous! its water off a ducks back in the moment but afterwards i drown in it lol
Frankly I quite like it when they stare, if they stare. That certain Matthew McConaughey stare. It’s very seductive and I respond in kind. Stare right back.
It’s a staring contest of sorts. Someone eventually acquiesces, usually the female. Unless she’s giving license to her Mars.
Hypno-Toad is a total Scorpio:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=0_BD_WBg9aA&feature=related
Oh I know that stare!! At parties I always take that stare as permission to use Scorpio as furniture! I have sat in laps of multiple Scorps staring at me, and then proceed to ignore them as I talk to my friends or play games and let them look at me up close to decide on me. The ones that like me end up touching me in little places like my elbows, neck, or in hubby’s case, toes(had my shoes off). It FEELS sexual no matter how benign…I get sucked in and spend the rest of the evening with them alone! I feel like I get so much closer with them once we separate from the crowd….
I’ve had a love/hate relationship with Scorp men my entire adult life. Unfortunately, as sexy as they are, they tend to be duds in bed. At least the ones that I’ve experienced. They are very sexy, they do have that intense stare that makes you think they’ll be wild, then fall short of expectations. If continuing on with him was an option, all I ever managed to find were mind-games, lies, and secrets. And harems. Scorp men are certainly the natural players of the zodiac.
Me: Pisces sun, Libra Moon, Scorp Asc. Mars in Aries, Venus in Pisces. For the record I settled on a Cancer boy who is exactly what I expected those scorpios to be in bed, with none of the mind-games, secrets, and lies.
Oh I know these stares! Talk about bringing out the insecurities. There are times when I just feel like yelling at them WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT!!!!I usually try my hardest to ignore them or sometimes shoot them daggers…it doesn’t help. I’ve also got to say that Aries men do this to me a lot, maybe it’s Aries men with Scorpio in their charts?
Hahhaa..I don’t know why this made me laugh out loud. It’s just true. I tend to attract Scorpios or Scorpio moons, so I can recognize this behavior. Maybe it’s the Pisces I have that connects with that emotional depth. I just love it. It’s hilarious. I don’t know…
By the way, Jeff, do you find that Scorpio men are more intense than the women? I read somewhere that the man always is more intense than the woman of any sign, but there’s something mildly sexist about that comment.
Hrmm…
Leo Woman: I could smell his sex, like all of the sudden. He got spartk. and then the staring. Fought off an associate of mine, the likes of whom,I have seen neither hide, nor hair of. That scorpio man intensly drew me into his sex for 10 week. Gosh what a great date. Etheral. Now he is gone. No more mental masterbation either. He envoked that we had unfinished business. I completed my part. He has left his undone. Guess he has moved on.
Leo Woman etc. al., I think the real reason they stare is cause they are full of crap. I think they shake in their little boots at the thought of a puss leading up or down the stairs to some dark den of ?????. That siad I really think, they think, they can constantly check the water and not make a ripple. Children should be seen and not heard. Hows that for a smack on the rump. Good Roggering? I’ve not not received it yet from that stareer i mean stinger! My bad. Purrrr!!!
@hanitabonita, I would not say that Scorpio men are more intense than Scorpio women. But I’ve not been sexually involved with a Scorpio male, so I cannot say from personal experience.
Those of you who know my stance on astrology in here: I am visiting cause I miss this place, and I will take a neutral stance that is astro-clean. Please don’t kick me out for it…
This post is interesting. I have a MUCH different take than most women on a man staring the way Jeffrey describes.
To me, he has just offered himself up to me as a sacrifice. By staring in such a way, I then know he is interested, and he becomes my own pet-project. I may change my behavior just to throw him off-track, confuse him, or just plain play with the boy. On one hand, I am entertaining him as a way to disctract him while I outrun his cute little mind game and analyze him from around the back door. This is likely to piss him off or arouse him, so I only let him know I am doing this if my analysis causes me to like him. Then I let him know I’ve been f**king with him too, and his aggressiveness and shock comes out just when I am ready to catch it. Hot.
I did this with my angel. I call it counter-stalking, and he should have been aware that there are female huntresses out there! Silly boy, stalking is for felines.
@Sagilarious, you are welcome here regardless of how astro-clean or -dirty you are.
Wow BIG EYE BALL, me thinks someone is staring at me right including Jeffrey in the corner of the computer page.
:-0 I’m a scorp women and hardly ever just star at someone, I have men star at me like right now as I am at the library this guy across from me is just staring away, I know I can look back but then it starts it opens the flud gates when you have that way of influencing a person so I mind my own bees wax unless I’m in the mood for it. For me as a scorp when I star it is more of an analysis of the person sizing them up in a way, for example my gemini guy friend the first time I met him he would not look at my and I found myself intently looking at his hands, how he was holding his file folder and pen with his fingers, arms, hair, how he was sitting, I really like guys hands always checking those out tells you a lot about a person, after that few second sum up of him I was able to read what he was up to that day and quite a bit about his personality. Ms. Difficult
Jeffrey, your attitude and leadership of this blog is the primary reason I missed the place
You make a nice home here.
Thanks for accepting my heathen self.
For a woman with Venus conjoined Pluto, I’m surprised I haven’t been involved with more Scorpios. There was one Scorpio guy I dated who I called the Prince of Darkness. I went to his house just once and it was like a funeral parlor. His name was Ray, so I also like to call him, facetiously, A Drop of Golden Sun. Can’t say I recall him staring at me, but maybe that’s why it didn’t go anywhere.
Leslee don’t just leave it at that I’m a Scorp and have to know how in the world did his house look like a funeral parlor was there dead bodies all over, or body parts, did have halloween stuff all over the place bats and skeletons hangning, or did he just have coufins lying around. Ms. Diff
I’m a Scorpio woman and I stare (only if I mean it, not just to freak people out) (OK, sometimes to freak people out, but they have to really earn it).
Anyway… when I stare in a good way, it’s because I feel it’s more expressive than small talk.
Heh. The Scorpio man’s house was *dark*. Dark furniture, dark drapes, no dead bodies but just seemed funereal. Reminded me of a priest’s rectory. He had once been in the Catholic seminary, but had decided not to go through with becoming a priest (prolly a good idea).
OMG I think I need to pull out my nebulizer…I seriously almost had an asthma attack from lauging my a** off… and it all started with “The spy who f**ked me.” A taurus used to give me those stare, the buggger must have a scorpio rising. At first it scared the living s**t out of me because I was excited, intrigued, and peturbed at the same time but after it started happening to me more often, and since now I’ve grown more into my womanhood and better understand it, I pull out my venus-pluto conjuction in scorpio and use it to mess with their heads-similiar to what sagilarious does [high five to you!]- “counterstalk” them, drown them under my spell. This taurus has his game downpack though, he’s making me work [my venus conjuncts his pluto so its taking alot of my willpower] but that only adds more intrigue. We both agree that once we get a hold of each other [i'll probably give in] fire is gonna consume us.
Usually I stare if a woman is beautiful or alluring in some way which catches my attention.
wow..i wish i didnt have so much scorpio energy. Its intense knowing someones deepest secrets even when you first meet them. Its like a burden most of the time. Also all my other planets are in sagittarius or libra so they dont like that scorpio depth.
Greetings to the house–it’s good to drop by once again.
Shall we?
The guy up there making like a Roy Batty wannabe in the opening frames of Blade Runner actually looks like his girlfriend’s cat is making biscuits on his lap, and just sank a claw into his boys—that special male moment just prior to a hoarse cry of recognition.
With Scorp rising and Sun and Venus conjunct in the first house, not far from the ascendant, it’s rare for me to *stare* at someone unless I’m watching out of curiosity; as in, zero predatory intent. I don’t care for that approach. It seems more macho than machismo, and anyone who knows the tango understands exactly what I mean.
There’s no need to stare, and I’ve no interest. If I want her to know that she has my attention, believe me, a one-second glance is plenty. If she’s someone who *sustains* my attention, she’s likely astute enough to read the follow-up in my body, how I move my hands, the way I smile. The warmth.
I’m drawn to subtlety and understatement, and appreciate those qualities at the heart of a woman. And, if she’s Gemini with a little Crab and Bull in the mix—but that’s another matter.
By no means does the above preclude a steamy encounter in a crowded, bawdy setting, hot tunes from the booth, mirror ball spinning, drinks and laughter all around. But, even then, why stare? If she’s unaware of my aura and I can’t catch her eye, I’ll take a chance, make an excuse to get close, whisper in her ear, or write a question mark on her palm with my finger. And smile.
I know this puts me at odds with those more inclined to see courtship as counting coup, a variation of war between the sexes where one takes pride in personal weaponry, emotional scars justifying cynicism, a jaundiced eye toward flowers, style, and chivalry.
So?
This is not to say that I won’t summon that power if circumstances warrant. There’s no question but that it’s eloquent and energy-efficient if someone’s in my face and I want to make absolutely clear: have you thought this through? There’s the line. Cross it at your peril.
But those moments are rare. If there’s a choice, I’ll walk away.
And so it goes.
Nos vemos.
Damn those Egyptian heiroglyphics!
’t’s’t’t~!!!
Everytime someone posts something especially brilliant after devising it in MS Word, it breaks out in these ’t’s pimples and becomes difficult to decipher without slowing down the pace significantly.
The only way around it, is to click on “post comment” and read it in the left-hand side bar, the original clean version.
(sigh)
Anyway Mr. Novemos whoever you are, that was a good comment. I read it, slowly. The heiroglyphics put the brakes on my skimming through at lightening speed, as I’m prone to missing important details at times
He says up there, “But, even then, why stare? If she’s unaware of my aura and I can’t catch her eye, I’ll take a chance, make an excuse to get close, whisper in her ear, or write a question mark on her palm with my finger. And smile.”
Wow. Where did you come from. That’ll get you laid real good, every time. Smooth operator
Remind me to stay at arm’s length from you at the club. I need to retain my chastity (har har)
Thank you site administrator for fixing the Egyptian heiroglyphic dilemna!
What happened? I spoke too soon. The Egyptian heiroglyphics have returned with a VENGEANCE!
Mercury Rx is a bummer.
I really resonated with the Scorpio stare. I am interested in a Scorpio and just two days ago we were both at a party and I could feel his eyes on me but I would not acknowledge his stares. I don’t know if he likes me or not, but I played up to the staring! You’re right, no-one else seemed to notice him staring. Sneaky Scorpios. Shame I am a Gemini, as we have some pretty good chemistry and have very similar outlook on life and then i see a whole section about Gem & Sco breakups!! Help!
MY SCORPIO MAN 15 YEARS MY SENIOR, DON’T WORRY I’M GROWN 40-ISH. THIS WAS THE TOUGHEST CHALLENGE OF LOVE I’VE EVER FACED WITH THIS GUY! OH MY GOD. I’M A CAPRICORN WOMAN AND I MEAN BUSINESS ABOUT MY LIFE & LOVE. I HAD TO GIVE UP SOME OF MY OWN POWER TO LET THIS RELATIONSHIP WORK, YOU WILL NEVER OUT-DO A SCORPIO MAN. I WAS UN-SURE SOMETIMES WITH HIM BECAUSE HE SAYS SOME OF THE MOST OF THE WALL STUFF’ AT TIMES MY FEELINGS WOULD BE HURT ‘SAMPLE’ ONCE WE WERE TOGATHER JUST US TO AND I HAD SEEN HIM A FEW DAYS ‘BOTH OF OUR WORK SCEDULES WERE BUSY’ ANY I ASK HIM DID KNOW FOR SURE IF HE REALLY WANTED TO BE WITH ME? GIVE YOU WEVE BEEN TOGATHER FOR 18 MONTHS NOW’. ‘AND HIS REPLY WAS QUOTE AND UN QUOTE I DON’T KNOW. THE COMMENT SADDEN ME AND HE APOLOGIZE FOR MAKING THAT COMMENT AND STARTED TO KISS MY FORE HEAD SO I FELT HE WAS SORRY. I NOW KNOW HE LOVES ME CAUSE HE DOES THE THINGS THAT A MAN SUPPOSE TO DO WHEN HE LOVES HIS WIFE/ WOMAN, HE CALLS. HIS STARE IS WHAT STARTED THIS THING WITH HIM W/ME. HE’S HANDSOME, HE WORKS OUT EVERY-DAY KID U NOT. HE’S PICKY ABOUT WHAT HE EATS AND TRYS TO DO ME THE SAME WAY, NOT. HE’S A CHARMER I AM JUST SOPPED UP ON A BISCUIT WITH SYRUP. I FEEL SO GOOD WHEN I’M WITH HIM IN LOVE. I DID’NT NEED HIM TO COMPLETE MY LIFE, OR GIVE UP THE THINGS HE LOVES TO DO, PLAY SHOWS WITH HIS BAND, GO TO THE GYM EVERY DAY, RIDING HIS MOTOR CYCLE AND HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS. I’M ALREADY COMPLETE, FUN,LOVING, AMBIOUS, GIVING, AND VERY PATIENT. MY LIFE IS FULL BUT I LET HIM KNOW I HAD TO FIT HIM IN AND WAS HE DOWN? TOOK ME 16 MONTHS TO GET AN ANSWERS AND I GOT IT AND BABY MY HANDS ARE FULL IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. A LOVE THAT MAKES MY SOUL MUCH HAPPIER!
OMG!!! This is sooooo true!!! lol I like this about them but not a big fan of them.
Scorpios are indeed sweethearts when they are nice so play nice, scorpians =)
happygoluckyaquariangirl
oh god, im in trouble… im a sag that has cought the stare and wow im hooked. scorpios are so intelligent too. wish me luck cause im going to give it a try and see what kind of sparkes we can ignite
tabbie
I am attracted to a Scorpio male who says he has a girlfriend but seems to be very interested in asking me questions about myself when he gets the chance. I am not sure if this interest is purely because he is at a new company and trying to make new friends or if there is more to it. Either way – I think that he sees me as a bubbly, social person who is making the effort to welcome him to the company, copying him on group emails etc so it ieasy to get confused. He told me he had a girlfriend so I think he is just being friendly but I just don’t know if I am imagining a conection…..
I saw this scorpio man on tv and i feel in love.lol I mean i don’t know what happened but i was in a 2.5 year relationship and for some reason i left the guy i was with for someone i had never met. We’ll i went to see this guy, where he performs and remember he’s a very popular man. However, i wasn’t even in the front of the audience, and he saw me and you would of thought he saw a ghost. He stared with a deep stare and stared all night, not careing if i saw him. I haven’t dated anyone since its been a few years and everytime i see him he stares. I don’t know what else to do but wait because i believe its God’s will. Otherwise how do you love and miss someone you never formally met?. I do believe the impossible with God.
oh my goodness.
every.
single.
day. i get this look.
it’s SO intense. i’m a capricorn, and just dying to break down that barrier that he holds. i’ve never felt such a connection, such a force. it’s like we’re meant to be. but i’m definitely not letting MY guard down, yet. him first!
as hard as it might be to get him to open up, i am SO damn determined. never wanted something to work out so much in my life!
i was with an older male scorpio years ago and we met via his staring tactic it was amaseing mind you i am a capricorn female and very nosy i am and so i asked him why he was staring i never got an answer but was in for one of the best weeks of my life PS that stareing will lead to a romantic kidnaping that will lead to an exotic marriage possibly. be just as intuitive as him and he wont keep staring i think that is sexy
i got this look from the scorpio i’m currently seeing, although they say aquarius and scorpio make a bad match my best friend of 6 years is a scorpio and her and i are inseperable.
when my guy gave me that look from across the room i made the next step, we were at a small concert in a basement like room, i made eye contact and waved him over to stand next to me where there was room. he made all the rest of the moves, but i gave him the opening.
Yeah I am a Scorpio and I stare lol… I can’t help it. I think it’s a good way to size up people before you do anything. I can judge people by just looking at them for a few seconds. I can tell right away if there is a connection or not. If there is no connection then I stare at somebody else lol
I remember the first few times I’ve seen my present boyfriend. The whole time he would be somewhere nearby holding his gaze steadily on me. His eyes were real magnets, I think that might be the reason I fell in love with him in the first place. It wasn’t the creepy kind of staring rather it was “I could eat you whole right now” kind of stare and I found it sexy and cute
I think scorpio are so deep and intimate that the best way for them to comunicate is with their eyes rather than words.
First they do it as daves says , to make a conection, some1 who can take and understand their language. And I find it very practical having some1 ananlysing me and making his own conclusions just by looking thn anwering all those questions my self. So no worries for me he can stare all he wants I m just my self and have nothing to hide or to feel uncomfortable about. Take me or leave me. Why the discomfort, just be your self and let them watch you.
If he is so sensitive and secretive as most people say scorpios are, so he needs to make his own judgements about you before he feels comfortable to make a move or give him self a hundred to a relationship. And thats what he does when he watches you. Or maybe he is just checking if you are a score potential and figure out what type of sexual woman you are.
Bottom line , dont feel threaten or challenged when they do that to me, hence I dont get into complicated power or mind games with them or feel execptionally sexy and sit on their laps just because hes staring at me. We are all sexy, intelligent and beautiful in our own way just be transparent and relaxed. Ive nver heard of some1 who died by being stared at ..
Im libra, my guy is scorpio
hmm im an intense scorpio myself, and starting from when i was little i didnt like to make eye contact. Its not that i was autistic or shy, it was that it was so uncomfortable to look at someone for more than a second or two. Now that Im older i feel more comfortable doing it. when i look into someones eyes its like im attacking them, like im being very aggressive or making a power play. I still try not to look at someone if i know that it will make them feel uncomfortable or if they are trying to help me
Ive have not ever been outstared by nobody. At least not to a point of my clothes being stripped. Im a Gemini. I have to focus on not staring so much because I love it. But, people confuse it with power struggles a lot and that is not really my intention. I just like to listen to more than what you are saying. Not everybody can keep up without losing their confidence or feeling vulnerable and it can get to affecting friendships and people trying to get catty simply because of your awareness. So sometimes I chose not to look at all while talking. Girls love it though definitely. Something about being a creep o is always a plus hehehe.
staring. I only stare when im talking to someone and its always in the eyes. Otherwise if someone i see im interested in meeting i just walk up and talk and i have scorpio all over my chart. I think we scorpios are whatever we need to be. Other wise i have theory on something. Scorpio men tend to have a need to be attached to readh there hieghts in sexuality. ive always found i diddnt really enjoy much until feelings were involved problem is its very rare for me to like someone more than the others. its always gotta be one.
hmm are there any pisces here that could answer some questions for me?
Oh lord..Scorpios..My ex of 10 yrs is a scorpio..He drives me insane..Through our entire relationship it was an emotional rollercoaster..That dude really messed me up..We currently have 2 kids together and have been seperated for a year..Sometimes I want to try and work things out for the kids sake but then his games..I can’t deal with his “I’m the King of the world,” ego..I still love him and have strong feelings for him..He sends me mixed messages..He plays games..He just likes to argue for no reason..I don’t understand him..He just won’t leave me alone..He tells me he doesn’t love me anymore but is constantly in my business..Oh and still trying to tell me how to do things..Oh and not to forget his dumb..I don’t understand why he just won’t leave me alone..??confused??
All I can say is hmmmmm
I’m a scropio :]