Scorpio on the receiving end of a breakup

In the comments section of How Scorpios get over breakups, Dramatoso Scorpioso wrote,
A Scorpio get dumped?

I’ve known a few Scorps and this one thing holds true in all cases, male or female– they do the dirty work (the dumping). They are well ahead of the game and as master strategists will not place themselves in a position to get dumped.

If their spidey senses pick up on a waning interest, they pull out the knife and slash it then and there. Hurts like hell but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Masked woman holding a knifeI feel suspicious whenever I read “one thing holds true in all cases.” Sun sign behavior is not as reliable as, say, the orbital pattern of Mars.

Scorpio is not only about control, strategy and manipulation. This sign ultimately concerns the depths of intimacy one experiences with another person — the true sharing of one’s innermost self, as well as one’s body and belongings. To be this close, a Scorpio must relinquish power. As long as she holds the knife, she is on the defensive, fearful of getting hurt. Vulnerability can be terrifying to a Scorpio, for wounds to this intensely emotional water sign can feel as painful as death. Thus, the scorpion develops an arsenal of shields and weapons, as well as enhanced detective skills (the spidey sense).

But who says Scorpio needs to be locked and loaded? Can’t she have enough trust to let down her guard, to leave the sharp utensils in the kitchen? Although I would not go so far as to describe Scorpio as innocent, I can imagine a young scorpion falling deeply in love, willing to connect completely with another — no games, no ammo. If she gets burned by her first lover, then the stingers come out. She toughens up and resolves never to let it happen again.

But there is a beauty in her initial willingness to go to the depths in a relationship, and it is a shame that she may not recover that all-consuming passion — for how can she love truly, madly and deeply when she’s packing a pistol? She may be possessed by desire, but as long as her inner Mars is at the ready, she’s destined to remain separate.

Comment below: Are you Scorpio who’s been dumped? Share your stories.

Photo by Violator3 under Creative Commons license.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.

Comments

  1. “But who says Scorpio needs to be locked and loaded?”

    Which reminds me of the old fable about the Scorpion. (Was it Aesop’s?). Q: Why must a scorpion be “locked and loaded”? A: Because it’s in their nature.

    Nice blog btw

    Greets from iFate.com.

  2. I’ve never been dumped. I cannot imagine if I would have been. I think it would have been a serious blow to my ego as a teen.

  3. well i have read/heard about Scorpio methods on dumping.. but is it possible do you think for a scorpio to say he is finished with a woman, then backtrack?

  4. BalancedSag says:

    It is a beautiful thought to remember that there are so many ways to play each sign and energy. It is always a choice as to how we use our signs (which we all have all of them!)

    As for Scorpio, I have plenty of this energy to comment on how deep they can hurt and go through being “burned” – they don’t always pull out first.

    Sometimes it is the opposite. Sometimes they want to truly “love till death do you part” – so that even in retched unhappiness, they will not give up – and if you have 2 people with that- BOTH have plenty of this Scorpio stuff in their chart – neither one will give up the relationship (I’ve been thru one relationship like this and I am in another like this now!!!)

    It can actually be that neither wants to admit that they gave up; and so neither will!

    With my ex- and I; we did not talk for 2 years and when we did (we both have pluto exactly squaring our Sag sun’s and he has Scorpio rising while I have Scorpio descendant w/venus, mars, and jupiter their)we both SWEAR that the OTHER one is the one that left – and we will probably NEVER agree on it!!!

  5. What hogwash. I’m a double Scorp and I’ve been dumped several times, as well as doing the dumping. And I just have to laugh at all these boneheaded stereotypes about Scorpio. I think a cartoon caricature could be made of every sign (anyone want to run with that?). The difference is that too many people throw around the caricature of Scorpio as if it were the truth. The only knives I own are used to cut vegetables.

  6. Jeffrey Kishner says:

    Amen.

  7. Dramatoso Scorpioso says:

    Hey Moni,

    You’re right there’s exceptions to every rule ;)

    The fat, plain and ugly ones get dumped regularly because their self-esteem is in the gutter anyway. Mind you this probably holds true for any of the signs.

    Sometimes fish only swim one direction too, like when they’re on a hook.

    Hey Jeff get your Sun off my Chiron already :) Or wear a lampshade

  8. Jeffrey Kishner says:

    @Dramatoso, did I shine a light on your wounds? :(

  9. Actually, I’ve gotten dumped when things have gotten too intense. I tend to attract men who are drawn to my intensity and then freak out and change their minds. True to form for Scorpio, I’d say.

  10. dramatoso scorpioso says:

    OH HELL ALL’S WELL THAT ENDS WELL!

  11. I am a Scorpio and have been dumped once and I never even thought it would happen. It was by a Pisces…and when he dumped me I just told him okay, he asked “what do you mean okay?” I said okay. My pride was HURT, HURT, HURT, and as soon as it happened…I was thinking how I would handle him. But deep down inside of me I knew he was going to regret it and he was just talking out of his ass.

    And what do you know…a few hours later he’s asking for me back.

    I was happy but I said NO.

    A couple of days later he asked for me back and I said No again.

    I meant it but I didn’t mean it.
    This continued for three years, us going back and forth, we would interact physically and share our emotions with one another which were very deep but we never “got back together”…well we never said we did or agreed on it. We just let it flow. But I kind of kept my “distance” or tried but he knew I loved him and I knew he loved me.

    And then he moved really far away =]

  12. anonymous says:

    I wonder if that is why so many Scorpio women fail to orgasm? Seems like an oxymoron since they are considered a sexy sign, and yet strangely enough they are the ones documented to have the most problem in this department. They give pleasure but seldom receive it.

  13. Jeffrey Kishner says:

    Where is it documented that Scorpio women have the most difficulty achieving orgasm? I know at least one counterexample…

  14. AwfullyVagueAndRandom says:

    “Although I would not go so far as to describe Scorpio as innocent, I can imagine a young scorpion falling deeply in love, willing to connect completely with another — no games, no ammo. If she gets burned by her first lover, then the stingers come out. She toughens up and resolves never to let it happen again.”

    That’s what I usually see happen. It can occur as far back as middle school. Not many know or care about things that happen way back then. I’m not even talking about just Scorps right now.
    You have to be careful being emotionally precocious without having your own stingers ready. When you’re naive and young, someone not as emotionally developed as you can stampede right over you. Can’t necessarily put all the blame on them..they weren’t ready. But that’s usually when the stingers start happening.

    It’s kind of funny. When they decide to take the risk again and find something truly worth that risk, they start wondering why they put up all those walls and defenses.

  15. Anonymous says:

    a therapist in Toronto with a Master’s and a couple of other certificates on the wall of her office

  16. Nice Photo….I’m a female scorp and I like it :-) Think I used one just like it.
    Now really I don’t think we are all that way it depends on what we experienced combined with how we take our planets but guess I should not comment I never have dated a female scorp

  17. Dramatoso Scorpioso says:

    btw Dramatoso Scorpioso has progressed sun in Sagittarius

    known for expanding on a truth so one size fits all

    even if it gives you blisters

  18. Jeffrey Kishner says:

    Can Dramatoso Scorpioso share her birth information so that this blogger can run her chart?

  19. Dramatoso Scorpioso says:

    No. I don’t care to be scrutinized, that’s my job ;)

  20. “Can’t she have enough trust to let down her guard, to leave the sharp utensils in the kitchen? Although I would not go so far as to describe Scorpio as innocent, I can imagine a young scorpion falling deeply in love, willing to connect completely with another — no games, no ammo. If she gets burned by her first lover, then the stingers come out. She toughens up and resolves never to let it happen again.”

    well, that’s what truly happen to me just now. And its not only about love either, also about friendship.
    The only people i trust soo much in recent years are my bestfriend and my bf, which happen to be my 1st bf.

    we broke up because racial problem from my parent and i went study abroad. But we’re still cool, chatting and joking around frequently. And when i came back for winter holiday 2007, i found my ex and bestfriend are going out.
    And that hurts like hell, i felt betrayed by my closest one, and i just tell to myself to not trust anyone that deep again.

  21. oww and my ex is Pisces and my bestfriend is Cancer.. blame the triangle

  22. LunarChild says:

    This LunarChild has had 9 months to decide what to do with my scorp, we now live separately, really not seeing one another. Too hard f/me. I recently found that due to his childhood maternal deprivation, his adult effects from his disorder was the reasons for so much emotional abandonment on me. I feel I must stand by him for hopeful recovery. Depending on outcomes, we should be able to reunite. I love this man, but can’t do any more mental masturbation and emotional hurt. AND ‘BOUT BUCKING TIME…..

  23. I’m a scorpio and I’ve been dumped. I’ve always managed to convince them out of it. But a relationship where you have to CONVINCE anyone isnt worth it.

    I’ve always gotten dumped for being too intense/introverted/nagging/etc.

    I only nag after feeling like my emotions aren’t returned. Then I turn more vicious.

    In the beginning I am not vicious, I am kind and generous until I get rebuffed or see someone pulling away. That’s when I become vicious. I don’t know if this is a characteristic of scorpio, or just a characteristic of women!

  24. I am a scorpio and I’ve only been dumped in my first relationship. I did it every time from then on.

    As for the first time, I wanted to break up with him first, but I had a hard time getting used to not being with him after a long relationship, so when he suggested we should try again, I accepted. Then he dumped me a week later! I was very offended. We went out so that he could tell me that and I tried stupid things, like persuading him to stay. When I saw it didn’t work, I counted aloud all the things that were wrong with him and to my surprise – got him crying. I felt sorry, but at the same time proud. It was the first real feeling of revenge for me! Sick, I know, but I still remember that feeling. (second time was when I almost got cheated on and I completely misused the trust of my unknowing boyfriend and soon after ex and ruined some business of his).

    I hate when people try to make a fool out of me. Some said I was too jealous and obsessive. That poor guy, second bf, made me feel guilty, so I stopped checking up on him. A month later, I still decided to take a look. I found a load of mails from another woman, taking me for a fool and flirting with him. What bothered me was that he never replied with ‘hey, you’re going too far, I love Jessy’, but just acted amused and flattered instead. So I took that revenge and made sure he would not remember me as a powerless fool.

    I really wish I could stop being jealous. But if my mate is interested in another woman, what else should I think?? Last time I wasn’t jealous, but then I got bored and realized he wasn’t for me.

    Oh, and I’ve known promiscuous scorps, faithful scorps, seemingly asexual scorps and clingy whiny obsessive scorps. Some very different people with this sign.

  25. Im a scorpio woman who dated a scorpio guy. I broke up with him for many reasons. I find it that dumping a scorpio would bring tragedy in u. Not only this guy hates my guts, but he threatens me that “I will get it” one of these days. He’s mad coz I started dating again. He calls me names everytime he calls, and the worse part is he blamed me for all his faults! I seriously think he has some mental problem. How can it be my fault when he’s physically and verbally abusive towards me? This is a typical sign of a controlling man.

  26. also the signs of an abusive relationship

  27. lol @ “i will get it”…..who says that???? lol

  28. I hope this will help someone.

    I’m a virgo male, and have just come out of a pretty serious relationship with a scorpio. It was so exciting and passionate, and really brought me to new heights as a person, and as a lover too (I’d never been with anyone before who was not just a sack of spuds in bed and had almost lost interest in this mundane act until I got scorpified!). But it was not to be. Here are my thoughts:

    They seem to have a problem relinquishing or sharing control, and this led to her being one of the most hard-headed, stubborn and unreasonable people I’ve ever met since birth!

    But, of course, being a virgo, I see past this, and it can indeed be fixed, but only with the scorpio’s full co-operation, so it’s kind of like they have to come up with the idea themselves or won’t accept it whatsoever. Everything is on the scorpio’s terms and this is true of every aspect of life, for example 1+1 = whatever the scorpio decides; what I mean when I speak is what the scorpio thinks I mean, etc. and if the scorpio deems that it’s not the right time to do maths or to talk, then the forcefield goes up and there’s no hope until – or if ever – they are in the right mood.

    Then you’ve just got to get past their procrastinating nature. Once they decide they want to do something, you could wait forever to see them actually do it – like her admission over eight months ago that she needs anger management – this has yet to be followed up.

    I experienced too much tension with my scorpio, that could easily have been dissipated by a bit of simple give and take. Ultimately, it was her seeming need to wear every pair of pants in the house all at once, permanently, that I feel wore the relationship out.

    As a virgo, being led by someone who I feel allows their emotions to addle their judgement was excrutiating, but I was always kind and patient with her, and never complained or fussed about things, even her prodigal intidiness! (virgos are not all anal I’ll have you know, we possess the power to improve our personalities to get on with others better). I did a lot of compromising for the good of the relationship but it was no good in the end.

    We are both perfectionists, but my outlook is tempered with an earthly realism, i.e. if something starts going wrong, I will try to work out a way of improving it. On the other hand, my scorpio must have had a fantasy scenario in mind where nothing should ever go wrong in the perfect relationship – if anything we did was not a perfect enzymatic match for this imagined state of perfection, she would instantly give up on me, and I had to win her over again and again to stay with her.

    It became too much of a disruptive lifestyle for me, and towards the end I’m sure she could sense how fed up I’d become. I eventually stopped lavishing gifts on her to keep her happy – also feeling like a sucker for all the work I’d put in with no progress, and reasoning that she must be more than simply materialistic, but any time I made a mistake, or withheld my affection, she would seemingly love me a whole degree less, permanently. And by mistakes, I mean things like vocalising the fact that i was not too happy with her seeing her ex boyfriend, every day, in my flat, when I’m out at work – who thinks this sounds unreasonable? in her eyes this was me being a “control freak”. Incidentally, this same exact guy split up with his own girlfriend as a result of him receiving a saucy text off my scorpio, who still denies it, despite me having read the text itself on his phone with my own eyes in person.

    Unfortunately, my scorpio had had a very turbulent life before meeting me, and this had set deep emotional scars and associations in her that I could not bypass. Hence she would suffer from bi-polar mood swings almost every day for no apparent reason and become violent over almost nothing (one example was me re-wording what she said by accident (keeping the same general meaning): I fell down this pitfall many times – we’d be having a normal conversation, then out of nowhere it’s, “HANG ON! That’s not what I said, I said the sky WAS blue, not IS blue!!!! RARARARARA!!”).

    Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’ve loved, or been loved, to the same degree as in this relationship by anyone else. When she was chilled out, we were THE perfect couple, but I had to take with humour the fact that I had literally condemned myself to walking on eggshells for eternity in exchange for excitement!

    We eventually had a row big enough to call it a day over. She had booked a holiday away with another guy and had lied to me about it. She was talking to her friends about moving in with the new guy the very next day after we split up. Clearly she had planned it with Black Ops finesse after having decided probably months in advance to leave me. She had subtly built up a relationship with him behind my back, and when it was time to “drop the next tune in the mix” I was discarded as coldly as one might discard a threadbare odd sock.

    I still love her and feel I will be scarred for life over this. I miss her so much, holding her and smelling her hair, and looking into her eyes and hearing her voice. I now realise that this had been almost totally one-sided. Why she refuses to have any contact with me now, I think, suggests a little guilt, maybe that is wishful thinking on my part, in truth she may feel righteous about it.

    As an epilogue to my tale, I have read in Old Moore’s horoscopes that a virgo man and scorpio woman can make it work only with the most extreme effort, all on the virgo’s part. So there you have it.

  29. @King Viz: Thanks Bro, Exactly the same story here. I agree with everything you say. I am much happier today that she is gone. I have a wonderful time but it was also one of the worst relationship i had been through. It is always scorpio’s way. When they want ad how they want.

  30. King Viz,

    I am so sorry to hear about your relationship. I am a Scorpio myself, so some of the things you were saying rang pretty true. We do have very intense emotions, and a need for control, but we also love intensely.

    With that being said, I really don’t understand all of the cheating she did to you? With myself, and the Scorpios that I know and can think of at the moment, cheating is a huge DON’T, for both people in the relationship. I have always been intensely loyal to the man that I date, and I definitely expect the same from him. I even felt a tinge of guilt if I got hit on by other men, admittedly, attention is always welcome in my eyes but I am downright not okay about being unfaithful. There were men I was so worried about losing due to them thinking I wasn’t a faithful person, worried to the point where I wouldn’t bother to have conversations with the opposite sex. And admittedly, again… I hated it when the men I dated had awful “friendly” conversations with other women. It’s never okay! But I really am sorry about your experience, and I hope you don’t just write off all of us Scorpio women to be that kind of person.

  31. Berlitia Vollenhoven says:

    Well,I havent read all posts bit sorta need opinions guys/advice.Im a scorp and have been in a realationship with a scorp.I broke up with him for 2 years and moved away while he went to study.I just recently moved back and he started to work in the same town.We were still good friends and he begged me to try again.So,we tried.from the start i could feel he wasnt into the relationship and asked him,even broke up with him and he just begged again.Long story short,i fell pregnant and at 6months into my pregnancy he found some one else.I was torn!!not once during my pregnancy did he come and see if i was ok.So,baby was born and believe me,hes CRAZY about her!.NOW the real thing comes in:i do not keep him from her and we constantly fight over the poor child!!!I see it as protecting my child and he sees it as me getting him back.I admit,i am still very jelous over his relationship that still lasts and how they can be so happy while i sit ,being the responsible parent,looking after our daughter and him enjyoing his life.To be honest if i dont have 2 see him EVER again it wud suit me perfectly!!!HONEST truth.But we have a child together.What bothers me is the fact that i have tried to get him back and does not want anything to do with it.He puts the girlfriend before our child and if i mention it IM the bad one.We use 2 be the bestes of friends now we cannot have a single convo without arguing.How do i get him out of my system?i have tried all sorts of methods,none is working.i do still love him and a part of me still wonders how it would be if we are back together as a “family”.I do not not agree with the fact that him and the gf take my child on holidays or shopping sprees,i cannnot get over to oing that!help! it just looks like he really despises me!but y begg and plead for chances and when i fell pregnant abandon me?and worst of all,it seems as if him and the gf are so happy!!!!!is it just a front or cud it be?does he really not feel anything for me at all??any scorpio man out there,help me understand???

  32. Berlitia im sorry I know this hurts but you need to let go. If he came back you woukd forever hold it against him and nothing he does will ever be good enough to make up for it. Ima scorp myself and just broke up with a physically and amotionally abusive scorp man recently, its happened b4 and everytime I decide to let go he comes running back and wont let me yet when I do have him back I hold his dissapearing acts to him and try to explain that every time he does it he kills the spark that little more….. yet he continues doing so. Scorps are knowkn gor being strong when we are really actually weak, were apparently full of confidence when really were scared and were classed as a tad in love with ourselves when really we dont value ourselves enough. Im learning to say no stuff you I deserve better irs hard I love him very much but I do deserve better he is very controlling, jealous and on top of that its ok 4 him to do things I wouldnt dare because he wouldnt forgive me yet he does them! Screw that im sure in time he will miss my loyalty my gifts my letting him in totally but im not gonna miss not having that in return! You have a child hes with another woman it hurts and sucks but value yourself mire hun :)

  33. Sorry for my typos I just had my nails done.

  34. I have also broke up with my kids father who was aquarius after 12 years, I then fell madly in love with a Taurus who left me, I then dumped a tauras as I fear them then decided what the ill try. My scorp man spent 17 years in love with me after only one night, he left his girlfriend and all for me. He waited through the 12 years and then waited through both taurases never being with anyone else. Im the only one hes ever loved and being a scorp myself I know 1st time round you do take it for granted you think the other will stick by you no matter what and you just push and push. I know I did it but I also know from experience that it just doesnt work like that. I loved being his only one but at the same time hate it because his lack of experience has really just taken its toll. I know wether it b a day a week a month a year or a decade he will come knocking although he swears he wont he always does and im hoping I can take my own advice stay strong and say NO no more im beat down its takn its toll on me mentally and physically and I deserve better. I also supported him totally 100 percent and catered for his every need but I know if it were the other way round hes gone when needed! Has me stumped how he waited for years to actually get me only to treat me this way! Does any scorp man know if this is just revenge for me choosing another so long ago? Clearly that night was more special to him my heart was elsewhere and he knew that I made secret of it! I usually understand a fellow scorp but this just has me totally boggled!

  35. Sorry…. I made no secret of my heart being elsewhere.

  36. hurt by scorp says:

    OMG they are all the same! I am Gemini he is a Scorpio
    I was in a relationship with a Scorpio for five years, Engaged to be married
    When we started dating, he swept me off my feet, he shower me with gifts, and complements, he made me feel like I was beautiful and I was the only one for him (I was in heaven)
    but as soon as I reveal my true feelings for him, its like he lost interest in me,( right after the engagement), then he started to treat me very poorly, he would come home late and ignore me, when I would bring it to his attention, he would complaint that I was nagging him and I was a very insecure clingy woman. Also he constantly accused me of cheating on him witch I never did! pretty soon I started to delete all my social media accounts to show him my loyalty to him, but noting was ever good enough.
    Even if I didn’t use the sites anymore, he would bring it up ALL THE TIME as if it happened yesterday.
    He started to have a wondering eye, he would flirt with other woman in front of me, If I say something to him, then he use to say I was crazy… In fact there were times when I would second question myself and would feel crazy…
    So one time he came home smelling like woman’s perfume and I called him on it, he said I was seeing things and I needed help. I got so sad and depressed that I could not take it anymore, so I left him…
    When he got home and realized I had left, he came back running, telling me I had made a terrible mistake, He loved me and he wanted to marry me ASAP. He told me he would work on his issues because he didn’t want to loose me.
    after two weeks of begging I took him back , in these two weeks, he was showering me with attention, but I had my guard up, (he has broken up with me several times and goes back to his ex) after Two we had a small argument and he said ” I can’t do this anymore, this is an unhealthy relationship and I am going back home!
    I wanted to Die :(.. Why did he do this, is he crazy or bipolar?
    After reading your post, I now realize that he wanted to have the last say and dumped me
    Part of me wants him back (why I don’t even know is like he has me under a spell , we are amazing together, but Oh Boy, is he a complicated men.
    needless to say, I called him all kinds of names via text, he replied he was happy and he wish the best for me but he didn’t want me in his life anymore. How can somebody change so drastic, almost overnight,
    did he ever loved me or was it all a lie?
    I feel used and disrespected, Scorpio men please explain to me what went wrong…

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