Waiting for a Capricorn to come back after a breakup
November 14, 2007 by Jeffrey Kishner
Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, the planet of delay, as well as success earned after years of effort. After a breakup, you expect Cappy to run back into your arms? Think again.
It doesn’t matter who ended the relationship. If you broke the goat’s heart, Cap will be even more cautious than usual about asking for another chance. Rejection only makes Capricorn try harder, but would any sane person try to scale the same barbed-wire fence twice?
If Capricorn ditched you, the decision wasn’t made lightly. This sign thinks about long-term consequences to any action, as well as how it will affect Cap’s reputation and social standing. A decision was made, and it’s likely to be the final word.
In the unlikely case that Capricorn returns to you — well, it could take months or years! Cap may not be as slow as Taurus, but the goat is much more serious. A thorough analysis of benefits and liabilities will be done before Cap makes any moves.
You don’t impulsively propose a merger of two corporations. The board of directors has to be convinced that the risk is minimal and that the shareholders will be happy. The deal has to pass muster with the Securities and Exchange Commission. This process doesn’t happen overnight … so in the meantime, keep yourself busy. Check out the Wall Street Journal — there are other healthy stocks you can invest in.
Comment below: How long did it take your Capricorn to come back?
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@ConfusedCusp
Sounds like things are going your way. Good to hear that!
Hope you’ll get to see him this weekend. Have you two actually met face-to-face before, or has your relationship totally been long distance emails, phone calls, etc.?
Be very very careful that you pay attention and don’t get into a deal where you are communicating with him more than he is communicating with you. If you’re doing most of the work, he’ll start taking more and more space eventually. Make him do most of the work.
You wrote, “What next I wonder” LOL With these Capricorn men, one never knows. One never never knows! We’re all rooting for you though!
@VirgoWoman
Yes, we’ve met several times, known each other a long time also. I haven’t seen him in about two/three weeks. When we are together, a lot of times I’ll say to him that he does have a heart under all that bs…he laughs “don’t tell”. Classic with the starting out as friends, and then a “holy cow” moment that it was more.
He’s stressing because he’s away from work this next week, and trying to get things done. When I think of him, I do think of the word “commitment”…
What helps is knowing that he’s one to go “inward” if you know what I mean. It’s weird though, when I do give him space sometimes–that’s when the arguments come…
When I see him, he lights up…visibly…I try not to make noise about it because I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable.
Relationships, scary things
@shana.j wrote ” the pisces male i was with tends to disappear regularly.”
I heard you! It’s probably been a dozen years ago, but I dated a Pisces for 6 months. We saw each other practically everyday and I thought everything was great. He went to work an out-of-town job that was supposed to last one week and said he wouldn’t be able to call. That was the last I heard of him for about 2-3 years!!!! LOL When he did reappear, he was non-stop apologies AND begging me to MARRY him. I told him he was a nut case. We do keep in touch and still get together for a happy hour…when he appears in town…every few years. LOL He’s a mess.
I have SUCH good taste in men.
@ConfusedCap
That sounds wonderful and sweet.
I wish my Cap would have been more interested in starting out as friends. He only wanted to jump right into the “holy cow” moments. One track mind. LOL
Yes I know what you mean about him going “inward”. Mine had a very lonely, dark place inside where he frequently retreated. But when he was relaxed it really could be delightful to see him smile and laugh.
Awwww, keep up posted!
@ Shana.J
“…hopefully he’ll reflect on what he’s got to lose…”
This is what I am hoping for.
Your advice was great. All of you guys advices are great.
VirgoWoman… you are so sweet and proper and on point. I so wish I was as calm cool and collective as you. I am sitting up in here remembering when I was wrapped around his… Listen. One of the things I am going to be doing is learning how to calm down. Yep, that’s it. I’m just so hype and horned. Yah know? I commend all of you ladies…
AnnieBoo… you sound a lot like me. Feeling real low because of the current situation. Yeah, I was like that. Deeply depressed and stuff. Please, I implore you… go to comedies… go do something. Even if it is to take a stroll in the evenings after work. You will be SURPRISED of the difference. At one time when I was ‘let go’ I didn’t want to leave the house! You know how big I got? I know some guys like fat behinds but mine became TOO fat! Yes mama sita… please see something funny and light.
I would suggest the best way to get over a guy is to get underneath another one-
… but nah, in the end that just open up a can of worms anyhow. So I strongly suggest a comedy instead…
Hey? Is it just me? No one is talking about how sexy there guy is… or WHY they even miss them. C’mon ladies… do we really miss their ‘company’? I mean yes, I do but that is not only it. Why are we blogging about them?
BECAUSE THEY TURN US ON! THEY MAKE US FEEL ALIVE and have her jumping at just the thought of them… correct?
Let me tell you exactly what I am going to do. Since I like to fantasize about him anyway… I am going to make a ‘make believe cake’. And in this cake will be all the great things we did and all the great times we had. I am not going remember the bad. Just the good. And I am going to take that cake with me into the cave while I hibernate. Cleanse myself, find myself, better and restore myself also too during this time. (So looking forward!)
When I ‘exit’ out of this cave and I seek him out (sh!+ yeah I’ ah do that- after all it will be a month… and PRIOR to this it has been more than a month) I will feel his vibes. If he continues to play ‘cute’ then I am going to keep walking- only looking back when he calls out for me… with GENUINE love and respect. For I’ve already am getting use to and adapting to not seeing him.
Now. If he ‘flys right’ and show me the love that I so deserve ( and ladies believe me when I tell you… I SO deserve it) I will DEFINITELY be working off that cake that I’ve been eating for a MONTH!
So. This is what I decided. So ladies… and Gentleman Blakgoat… you all have been a God Send. I would have been much more cookieer than I already am now. We would have BEEN had sex and I would have felt more bad if the ’stupid ways of the capricorn man’ did not cease. ther would have more tension, more arguements for I wouldn’t have understood his behviors. I wouldn’t have understood that the nicer you are isn’t always for the better but in fact in their eyes have you deemed as weak. I wouldn’t have understood that it is not always (perhaps not EVER ) you but it is indeed HIM who is going thru the E”motions” and that is why the relationship is topsy turvy. I would not have understood that perhaps I could be going thru a ‘testing’ mode. I would DEFINITELY have not understood that maybe perhaps he IS ‘feeling’ me and perhaps INDEED DO care for me or… dare I say it? Love me…
)
I wouldn’t have understood that they need to chase and not have the “pU$$.. on that platter” like he suggested. uh-uh. totally no good.
Nah, I wouldn’t have understood. I am thankful for the fact that I stumbled on this site- for me to learn ALL of that. Do you know how much ammunition I am walking around with because of you guys? You guys really are the best.
Now like I said, having the knowledge and ‘applying’ the knowledge are two different things… again this is the reason for the retreat. I can learn all things until the cows come home but when I ’see’ him… will I ‘apply’ it?
So, the retreat is to practice and meditate to MAKE SURE I DO.
Two more days until March 1st.
So I will now clean my house, do that laundry and BAKE THAT CAKE!
I will continue to read… but I don’t have much to ask anymore.
Maybe on occasions… maybe…
Thank you Capricorn Girl Smiles* for reaching out and being so funny, protective and supporting…
Thank you VirgoWoman for always remaining a lady… while I feel like doing summersaults on his a$$. I did needed to see that there is still a thing called restraint and virtue in this world. Thanks for reminding me
(no worries, I won’t do the summersaults… least not in March!)…
Thank you Blakgoat for being that cool ‘ol billy goat that pops out the bushes at the right time with some HOT D@MN! profound statements that I am now going to put into my cake…
And Shana.J… for coming in… right before my exit… making some excellent statements and very, very informative insights (just at the RIGHT time 2!) so with this too! will be in my cake with me…
Thank you so much guys. Sincerely, thank you soo much.
May God Bless you all with all your hearts desire!
Over N Out.
I’m off to do some baking!!!
Popped Back In Again…
I know my post was a bit long. But I just wanted to let it all out… the gratitude that I have for you all. I just wanted to thank everyone for making me smarter…
Oh, I so love knowledge…. So much power…
Anyhoos, I wanted to clarify some things as well. I will be around, making comments here and there, still asking a question if it bugs me… but I know I won’t do this much… for I really am going to do different things… go back to the things that will enhance my career. By constantly talking about him- well… is the result of… constantly tHiNkInG about him and this “lovely’ cycle has to stop somewhere… correct?
So cool, with dat…
@ Shana.J…
“…However, if you really what to send the card or letter-I think a card would be more effective than a 4 page letter caps prefer short,honest and simple communication.If you send him a four page letter he may just ’switch off’ before he’s finished the second page
…”
Please let me clarify-
I was saying that I would send him the card (2morow, Sunday) before I go on my hiatus. No phone call,no email, Just the card… then I would disappear. I had also made the statement similar to yours. I said, “…I am still up in the air about sending that card. I tell you why. When he decides to act the way he acts and bounces for quite sometime… he gives ME no fair warning. Still yet, two wrongs don’t make a right and someone has to be the adult here…” And as for the “4 page letter” I was saying that I would GIVE it to him ONCE he came to ME. It wasn’t a choice on giving him a the letter or the card…
You see, once we get together… we rarely talk about our relationship. He talks a bit about his past, what he plans on doing now, and what is in store with the future. He tells me what he expects of me and ask questions of ME but do not get into him. GRRRRRRRRRRRR…. (whats the symbol for angry face?)
There are so much questions I have inside of me to ask. So much things I want to say. But he always says that I ‘talk too much’ and just listen. SO I listen. And he talks… but the talk is ‘light’ or stuff that is not on my mind. My thoughts and feelings goes into the wind. I speak, he listens but doesn’t answer (uh, why am I crazy over him again?) So by writing him, sending him those ‘bookly’ emails… least I know that MY point is getting across. he can yell at the emails but it won’t respond back. And it is all there in black and white. So he rads it, and usually respond back terribly… perhaps its because I point out CLEARLY the things that are wrong.
Oh no, My Cap is ‘hardly’ ever wrong. (uh, why am I crazy over him again?)
So with that letter when and if he ever came to find me, see what’s going on… I would have presented him with it. I wouldn’t talk. My talking would have fell on deaf ears and I am tired of it. But I do NEED to express myself and have him know what’s in me. So the writing, to me, is the best… and only way.
So anyhoos, I too was thinking of just bouncing and not saying anything. This is what I was tetter tottoring about. But I am sure now.
I called. Yep. (sorry ladies I called. BUT! Let me tell you what happened)
After I sent out that post. I was really feeling up! Up to know that I am about to start that journey with living again. I didn’t want to send the card for I didn’t want to get another part (the cousin) really involved. So I called. I called and I got the voicemail *whew!* Great!!!
So I said on the voicemail that I called to make sure that he was okay. And that I really, really care for him… and that I will be working on taking care of many ah things… just called to let him know that. then of course I said bye.
I did this because like Virgowoman said… I didn’t want him to really think that I left for GOOD… but sort of left for BETTER… as in bettering & regaining myself. Now that was it. That was my ‘note’ to him. To leave him with a “I really care about you” as I leave for now. (I hope I am not confusing)
Okay. This is all, I mixed the batter, now I am enjoying the moment of licking the spoon…
@SweetP
I applaud you for taking this hiatus to clear your mind. Now don’t go eating too much cake and get that “mamasita” behind. LOL You want to look better than ever when you come out from the cave. Go out some and meet some new people during YOUR month. You might meet a man who DOES want to talk about relationships, who WILL call you every day, who IS interested in you as a TOTAL person.
You know, I had more restraint with this Cap BECAUSE he was only focused on SEX, SEX, SEX. It made me uncomfortable…instincts telling me that if that’s all he talks about then it’s all he wants. I had my place all cleaned up last Saturday when I was so excited about our picnic. I was thinkinig, “If we could just get through ONE date without him badgering. If he could just be romantic and treat me like a lady for ONE day then….” Huh. I’d probably be in his arms this morning if he’d just have chilled out and acted like a normal gentleman. It may sound like it, but I’m NOT a celibate nun. LOL I am accustomed to men who are interested in my intelligence first, and then my body. Oh well, he probably could have played me…he just didn’t know HOW to play me.
Last night instead of going out and spending money, I downloaded the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You”. Well, today is 7 days from my Cap breaking up. The “rule”, according to the movie, is that if he hasn’t called you in 7 days, then “He’s just NOT that into you”. LOL I got it.
Every woman should watch that movie.
Today is a brand new day. The sun is shining. I’m going to get super-cute tonight, go out and have some fun.
Hey folks,
@Sweetpea
“And as for the “4 page letter” I was saying that I would GIVE it to him ONCE he came to ME. It wasn’t a choice on giving him a the letter or the card…”
Sorry Hun,my mistake didn’t read what you typed properly shouldn’t read these posts when sleep monster is creeping up behind me lol.
I think it’s a great idea to ‘disappear’ for the entire month of March-(i used a similar tactic with my fishy guy)i dunno about you ladies but i was fed up of wanting a guy 100% while he only wants me 70%-it’s bulls*** don’t we deserve better????
It worked by the way,but i have to act aloof every once in a while to keep his interest-not sure i can keep up the act lol.
Back to you-the ball is firmly in his court now at least if/when he comes to seek you out at least you know he wants you.There is a certain secure feeling to be gained from knowing he wants you,as a pose to you wore him down until he just gave in
I really hope you can stay strong during March-Keep yourself busy,baking those cakes or whatever you want to do.
Your time and energy is precious do not waste it!
@VirgoWoman
“He went to work an out-of-town job that was supposed to last one week and said he wouldn’t be able to call. That was the last I heard of him for about 2-3 years!!!! LOL When he did reappear, he was non-stop apologies AND begging me to MARRY him.”
I just think these fishy guys are on another planet,it was his 39th birthday the other day i ignored the fact.He rings me all upset so i reminded him he forgot my birthday several weeks back.Came up with 100 excuses for that.Think i may have to throw this fish back in the water coz he ain’t NO catch
@shana.j,
“i dunno about you ladies but i was fed up of wanting a guy 100% while he only wants me 70%-it’s bulls*** don’t we deserve better????”
Yes we do. I’ve spent my life wading through 100%/70% relationships and I’m tired of it. I do think it’s my fault for jumping in too early just for the sexual attraction and curiousity. Several months later, to find that we don’t even LIKE each other, much less LOVE. Also when the guys started to slip away before I was ready to slide, I chased, which was another huge mistake. Guys will hang around a bad or unsatisfying relationship (especially if the woman is doing all the chasing and work) for the sex while they’ve got their eyes open for the real deal. It’s about time I grow up and BECOME the real deal.
“It worked by the way,but i have to act aloof every once in a while to keep his interest-not sure i can keep up the act lol.”
That’s part of the whole growing up and understanding men. Most women don’t need too much space away from our man. Men sometimes do need space away from us to make them realize how important we are to them. It also starts their “hunter-chase” mechanism again, and keeps the relationship fresh.
“Think i may have to throw this fish back in the water coz he ain’t NO catch”
That is for you to decide. My Pisces was nuts, thinking I’d want to marry him after only knowing him 6 months, then him swimming away for a couple YEARS??? LOL He is a good friend though…when he’s in town we always have fun catching up on what’s been going on. Also if I need something fixed around my house while he’s here, he’s right here helping me. Some guys just make better friends than lovers. That’s not specific to Pisces, but all men.
Geez-I thought Pisces men were bad; imagine having to deal with both Pisces AND Cap in one man!!!!
GRRRR……talk about mixed messages…..
Last Day B4 Hibernation…
@shana.j…
No problem love. your candid advice makes up for all and any miscommunication
…” Nothing to say here besides you are 1 million times correct.
“…the ball is firmly in his court now at least if/when he comes to seek you out at least you know he wants you.There is a certain secure feeling to be gained from knowing he wants you,as a pose to you wore him down until he just gave in
This… Is… Y… I’m… Bounce… Inggggggg… ((2 C How Much I am Valued)).
) and I am ready to move on.
Trust me, I’m so looking forward now. The cake is baked (six of ‘em mind you
@virgowoman…
“…Yes we do. I’ve spent my life wading through 100%/70% relationships and I’m tired of it. I do think it’s my fault for jumping in too early just for the sexual attraction and curiousity. Several months later, to find that we don’t even LIKE each other, much less LOVE. Also when the guys started to slip away before I was ready to slide, I chased, which was another huge mistake. Guys will hang around a bad or unsatisfying relationship (especially if the woman is doing all the chasing and work) for the sex while they’ve got their eyes open for the real deal. It’s about time I grow up and BECOME the real deal.
…” You write the words right outta my mouth! Girl, your great!
Just my personal observations about Pisces versus Capricorn men.
When Pisces says “It’s over” it’s NOT over.
When Capricorn says “It’s over” it IS over.
Pisces often say the opposite of what they mean just to keep you guessing and to keep their real feelings secret.
Capricorn says exactly what they mean, and you’d better listen, because they MEAN it.
Funny Capricorn story…
My best friend’s adult son is a Capricorn. Last night he stopped in at the bar while his mom and I were having a drink. She went to the ladies’ room and I overheard his side of a phone conversation.
“Hey dude. I’m up at the bar and thought I’d see if you want to come up and have a beer.”
—-
“No. I need to go home and shower and change clothes first. About 45 minutes.”
—-
“You don’t realize how dirty I get on the job. I’m going to shower and put on some clean clothes.”
—-
“I only want to come back later and have one beer.”
—-
“No dude. I’m NOT waiting for you to get here. You come up and call me when you’re here. After I’ve showered, I’ll come back up and meet you.”
—-
“Look. JUST DO IT MY WAY!!!”
—-
“OK. You know what? I don’t even WANT to drink tonight anyway. Let’s just plan tomorrow or some other time. Ok. See ya’.”
——-
Hahahahaha!….sometimes these guys cut off their nose to spite their face.
VirgoWoman-
So what do you think of a Pisces sun/Cap Moon??? What DOES he mean when he says anything??? Does he mean I love you when he says I love you??? Cause I don’t understand how he says those three words and just think it absolves him from doing anything else to keep the relationship going…….
@leo female,
That’s actually a pretty nice combination, as Pisces and Capricorn are compatible signs.
The Sun sign is the over-riding factor in personality. Think of the Moon sign as hidden emotion nature.
Pisces is one of the four mutable signs. Which means change and flexibility. I’ve found that when a Pisces tells you something, he means it AT THE TIME HE SAYS IT. Unfortunately he may change his mind a day or a week later, and change his mind back again after that. Some people think Pisces men are liars. I have learned to look at it instead from the Pisces perspective. They are honest IN THE MOMENT, but they reserve the right to change their mind.
Now, having a Capricorn Moon should lend more emotional stability to his personality. He may have more emotional needs for certainty and stability in his life – to counterbalance the Pisces acceptance that “change is inevitable”. Keep in mind though that Capricorn does not wear his emotions on his sleeve. It might take some time for you to “touch” him on that deeper emotional level.
His Pisces Sun may say “I love you” and his Capricorn Moon may draw backwards and be thinking “Oh wait…I should be more cautious.”
Both Pisces and Capricorn require a lot of understanding and patience.
Yes, patience which I am running out of. I have been posting since last August under the Pisces section and while I get it about Pisces pulling the disappearing acts and changing their minds to suit them and I get the cold detachedness of Capricorn and while it may make a good combo in the world it just doesn’t make for a good romance. At least not with a Leo. We need straightforward communincation. So what ends up happening is the Pisces pulls back and so does the Leo. Even though we keep coming back to each other it’s less and less fulfilling each time.
Too bad because if the Pisces could be as mutable as they are supposed to be we could have had a great thing. I am the supposed fixed sign but I am the one always having to adapt…..
BTW-I have moon in Virgo so in that respect we were supposed to be quite compatible….
I should qualify that whileI have been posting on Sass since August we have been together for two years. The first year was great, afew snags as to be expected, but this second year has been extremely trying.
He told me he loved me back in Janauary after several long absences. I just donm’t get it because now he is absent again.
And yes, Cap Moon makes him stable and gives him a drive and ambition that he prob wouldn’t otherwise have which I love, but it also makes him so cold that it’s like anymore he doesn’t even want to know me during the day. I am supposed to just wait in the sidelines for when it’s convenient for him. Screw that; I have a busy job in the same biz & field as him, we work for the same company, but I can till email him during the day to see how he is. He used to do that all the time so all I want to know is why not anymore?? What klicks off with these guys???
@leo female writes “BTW-I have moon in Virgo so in that respect we were supposed to be quite compatible”
You might be happy with a Virgo man..who can meet your emotional needs.
Your Pisces might be more comfortable with a Capricorn woman.
My best girl friend is a proud Leo. I always get along well with Leo women friends. I’ve also dated lots of Leo men. The men have either “scorched” me, or felt like I dumped “earth” on their “fire”. However, fire needs solid ground (earth) to exist, and earth can surely use the nice warmth provided by a fire (as long as it’s not blazing out of control…LOL).
Consider the elements. Water can surely extinguish fire, and fire can cause water to boil. Too much fire can scorch earth, and too much earth can put out the fire. It’s up to the two individuals to work out the differences. You’ll have to warm his water without boiling, and warm his earth without scorching. He would also of course have to bend some. Seems like a lot of work? Yes.
@leo female writes “it also makes him so cold that it’s like anymore he doesn’t even want to know me during the day. I am supposed to just wait in the sidelines for when it’s convenient for him.”
He’s needing space. But no, the only time a woman should wait on the sidelines is if she is ABSOLUTELY SURE that he is the man she wants. If he hasn’t “put a ring on it”, then you are single and free not to wait for him to swim back around.
Water and earth signs may always feel a little “chilly” to you, but you know opposites attract. Look to other fire and/or air signs if you’re needing more warmth without all the patience required to warm up your opposite signs.
Virgo Woman-
No offense as one of my best friends is a Virgo and I love her but the men, in my experience are another story. I could NEVER date a Virgo. I also could never date a Leo. My ony really long long term relationship was an Aqua…17 years. And believe me, even though opposites are supposed to attract, I will never go for another Aqua. The constant vie for power is enough to pull anyone apart. I had a 4 year relationship with a Cap, but he was so not the typical Cap. No idea what his other placements were but Cap was not who he acted like.
I am in love with this Pisces/Cap and he with me. I just feel like I have had the rug pulled out from under me because he used to be so affection & warm & communicative. Now, IDK, he’s maybe reverted back to type and it’s pulled us apart.
Oh well…live and learn.
@leo female,
No offense taken.
Yeah, about 50% of Virgo men should be single. The good 50% are hard to find…they’re usually buried under a rock somewhere working on a hobby…or just plain working. LOL I would date another Leo…even though I always end up feeling singed. haha.
Back to your Pisces guy. I’d bet his Venus is in Leo, no?
You say he doesn’t want to know you “during the day”. But you two are together nights? Or are you on the “outs” in general right now?
Virgo Woman-
No his Venus is in Taurus. More slowness!!!
The only time we talk during the day anymore is if we see each other at work which lateky isn’t very often. He never emails me anymore which I find very strange. How freakin’ busy can you be? Especially when you consider the fact that for the first year he always emailed me; of course it fell off a little as things do but he still emailed. And even on weekends. He used to work almost every weekend and would email. Or I would email him after a while. Give & take, right? Now it’s rare and it’s like because he knows it bothers me he will not do it. I just really don’t get it.
It all started to drop off significantly last March and after a few months I emailed him that we were done. No hard feelings but if he was no longer interested that was fine but he could have at least told me. Tht was the end of Mat and at the end of June he emailed me on a Saturday. I was seriously shocked. He wanted me to meet him at work that Sunday. He blew me off. I put up with way too much from him. But again I forgave. Things got a little better over the summer as far as contact but we never got together. Then again he emailed labor day weekend which again shocked me. But from there on things just got really weird and I got tired of his BS and right around Thanksgiving just started to ignore him. Don’t know what happened but he came back again and started to email me almost everyday. At first I was just cold but I did love him to eventually came around. We got together on Dec 18, for the first time in 10 months. Then poof. Disappears again. When we parted on that night he told me to email him over the weekend cause he would be at work. I did and got a cold answer so didn’t email him anymore.
Typing this makes me sound really pathetic but trust me I a not.
Anyway, we spent the day together at a company meeting on 1/22 which he had been hinting at for weeks and that’s when I decided I was going to tell him that despite everything I loved him and as pretty sure he felt the same. I didn’t have to tell him because he said it first. Apologized for being such a prick to me and said I love you. All my friends think he’s playing games but they don’t see the look in his eyes when we are together.
But again he disappears so on Valentines Day I told him he doesn’t know how to love and get lost. I told him he has no idea the affect of his coldness and indifference. That we never talk and that you cannot maintain a relationship like that. That I could no longer be his cheerleader waiting on the sidelines until it was convenient for him….
Of couse in typical Cap fashion he replied “wow-thanks. I just finished a project that needed to get out.” I’m actually surprised he replied at all because in typical Pisces fashion he avoids any type of confrontation.
Sorry so long but that’s the jist of it…..
We did get together nights…but not alot. We see each other quite a bit at happy hour but he almost always has to rush off to do kids stuff. Which I completely understand…but I can’t always be his last priority. I told him that, too……
So you blew him off in May, and in June he asked to see you then blew you off. Those Pisces can be quite the vindictive ones!
Since then, it sounds like it has been tit for tat. Everytime you try to ignore him, he is calling your bluff by asking you back. You come back and he blows you off or is cold. His game: he just proved you are bluffing. Pisces can be vengeful, though they don’t see it that way. It’s just one of the “life” games they like to play…to win.
Pisces men are usually in touch with their feminine side…which makes them really intuitive and endearing…but they also play the “dating game” like a girl…a very young girl. LOL (Your story just brought back some memories of my fish.) They can be shape-shifters.
I can’t really give you advice on your specific fish…they are my exact opposite…and I learned not to swim with them in romance, only as friends. Yours should be more grounded with major planets in Cap and Taurus…but he sounds just like every Pisces man I’ve ever met.
Yeah, they are about as sensitive as a rock.
In touch with his feminine side?? Oh sooo not this guy. That’s why i can=me over here to get some advice on the Cap side of him because he is about as far from Pisces as the Sun is from the Earth. I think he must have had a really overbearing father who literally beat the Pisces sensitivities right out of him. The only thing Pisces he does is the disappearing stuff…..he’s totally insenstive….which to me is Capricorn coldness…
Honestly he has so many bad qualities I’m really not sure how I fell in love with him. I just did. And so did he. We are supposed to teach each other something; of that I am sure. Because I havenever stuck around for this nonsense with another guy…
Pisces men can be “cold fish”. I don’t read what your guy is doing as being Capricorn traits at all. That tit-a-tat game your guy keeps playing is something I see as a “girly” game…and very Pisces. Pisces men enjoy the game. They are never 100% there, nor 100% gone. They can swim away at anytime just because they want to see what the water’s like on the other side of the river/lake/ocean…nothing personal about you. They will always swim back (when they’re ready) and expect you to understand them. If you don’t understand them, they swim away again…to come back later.
Capricorns are not game players. If they’re with you, they’re 100% checking you out to see if you’re the right one. If they’re not with you, then you didn’t meet the criteria they were looking for at the time…and they won’t be back unless their own needs/criteria change.
Hey Ladies,
@Sweetp
“Trust me, I’m so looking forward now. The cake is baked (six of ‘em mind you ) and I am ready to move on.”
I wish you all the best in your ‘hibernation’ stay strong.It can be difficult especially if the guy in question keeps reappearing.You,(as we all do)deserve better!
@VirgoWoman
“Guys will hang around a bad or unsatisfying relationship (especially if the woman is doing all the chasing and work) for the sex while they’ve got their eyes open for the real deal. It’s about time I grow up and BECOME the real deal
”
Hear,hear! i wanna be the FIRST PRIZE instead of the CONSOLATION PRIZE.Gonna take a few months break from men.They drive me nuts!It doesn’t help that family and friends keep asking me when i’m gonna get married WTF???? just coz i turn 29 this year i have to be married???
“Pisces often say the opposite of what they mean just to keep you guessing and to keep their real feelings secret.
Capricorn says exactly what they mean, and you’d better listen, because they MEAN it.”
True i also think Pisces will tell you what you want to hear.
“Pisces men are usually in touch with their feminine side…which makes them really intuitive and endearing…but they also play the “dating game” like a girl…a very young girl. LOL ”
Reading that comment made me laugh
it’s soooo true! The fish i threw back in the water fits that description to a tee!
This is stupid. My best girl friend called today and said my ex-Cap was at my neiborhood bar yesterday. He sat alone and had one beer. He does not live in my neighborhood…it’s not his bar….it’s mine. I stayed home yesterday and went to bed early. Eesh.
So I just sent him a text “Friends or not?” to his phone from my email.
Drama…too much drama…
At this point, I would seriously just like to be his friend. My girl friend said “You’d might as well give up. I don’t think he knows HOW to have women friends who are JUST friends.” Poor guy…
LOL He replied to my text last night after I’d gone to bed, “Who are you?”
I sent a note with my name, “-virgo-. How soon we forget! LOL”
If you send a text from email, the cell phone user does get the email address of the sender, right??? Or not? My email is just my first initial and my full last name. I’m wondering if this man ever even new my last name. Hrrrmph!
Im a Cap Lady- Jan. 8 and I RARELY return. There’s only One person I still have an eye on and he’s an Aries Mar. 21, so I praying I just get over him or we try again later….. But yes, if you want a Cappy back, YOU BETTER GET YOUR A- GAME TOGETHER AND COME CORRECT. But Never say never; you might actually be good enough
I had a revelation today. I think my ex-Cap suffers from borderline personality disorder…pretty severely. The bartender at my bar had said she wondered if he was bi-polar. The other day when he came in and I wasn’t there, she said he sat alone and was talking out loud to himself the whole time. That was the second time she had seen him do that.
This morning I was researching bi-polar symptoms and that was not fitting. But I got into reading about borderline personality disorder, and it fits him to a tee. Not only the way he acted with me, but also all his stories about how his previous relationships started (whirlwind)…and ended with him feeling alone and unloved.
So why would I get caught up with a borderline personality? Am I also insane? Haha. Not so much as he, but I also realized that my own mother suffered with severe borderline personality disorder. Oh the mood swings…very loving one minute, then very hateful temper tantrums the next. That’s why this Cap guy almost immediately “felt like family” somehow…like I “understood” him…somehow. I couldn’t put my finger on it until today. Huh.
My father was “the rock” of sanity and stability in my childhood. He took care of my mother through 60 years of marriage, while she bounced off the walls. I need to pay more attention that I don’t try to be some unstable man’s “rock”. I need to get over any remaining “savior complex” and find someone who is steady.
Just.can’t.go.there.
Man oh man oh man oh man…
UPDATE-
okay, so here I am now JUST about to settle in my cave and eat my cake and sleep. Why did the mother of his children requested me out the cave to talk?
I left a message on the voicemail (as I told you guys before) felt good and went in. The VERY next day I received an email asking to speak to me. SO you know I called. We spoke, we discussed, we laughed, we were disgusted, we were amused. Let me tell you something about me. I REALLY don’t handle drama very well. So I try to turn all bad situations into some sort of comedy or something. If I didn’t do this… I would have BEEN! been in jail or something. So while I was talking to her… TEARING inside, I kept it light on the outside.
How was she able to reach me you guys wonder? Let me tell you…
Back in DECEMBER ‘09… I reached out to her thru one of the social sites. I did this because he was driving me crazy over here and always complain- no… WHINING that he couldn’t see his children. I couldn’t take it anymore. So I reached out asking or to please have him see his kids. I told her that we are working together and it’s driving me crazy. I did also say that there is more to us than that but that is not the point. Please, i ask respectably as a woman to have him see his kid so his sanity could be intact- and eventually mine as well- so we can move on with the work. I also said I know how he can get down and please to pay no mind to that. This was all. I heard no response. Until recently.
I asked her how she got my email address, for it is not posted on any of the social sites. She said, “Oh, he emailed me some things that you guys are doing. Showing me stuff to impress me.” OMG. Do you know how that made me feel?
ALL THAT F^CKEN STUFF HE SHOWED HER WAS WORK THAT I… I… I DONE!
FOR THE PROJECT! THE VIDEOS… THE WEBPAGES…
I asked her what exactly he sent her but she couldn’t say. Let me tell you something with that. You know when someone doesn’t really want to give you cudos so they brush it off or whatever? You can’t remember what was sent to you? But you can remember it was for the project. You can’t remember a picture? I understand words verbatim or something but pictures? videos?
So you see, I saw that there was holes in the story. Perhaps she was calling to find out the extent of our relationship. Boom. So I told her. I told her that I met some family members, colleagues, and we traveled places- for the sake of the project. I told her I first saw him in Florida. She said you must have saw him right after I left for the brother’s graduation. I said yes, I knew about the graduation…
Bottom line. We love him both. He loves us both? That I don’t know. But this I do know, she cheated on him. WRONG MOVE. He’s been giving her hell over that since. However, let us not mention the times he’s cheated on her… yeah let us not mention that. he’s told me about her since I first met him. I didn’t have a problem with that then and I don’t know. I mean c’mon… I reached out to the woman. She also said he spoke of me… but not using my name. She said she knows I love him because he told her so. He told her that I said to go back to her if that what makes him happy (which is true- I did say that). And I meant it. Why in the f^ck would I want to be with a man who wants another? I am a lot of things- yes. A Woman, A Mother, An Editor, A Loving Person, A Daydreamer… But Desperate is not one of them.
Yeah, I ‘can’ catch bouts of it from time to time but it is rare. ’specially when on the move. Major moves…
Anyways, after I got off the phone I felt neutral. It was the next day it hit me. It f^cked up my whole week. MY WHOLE WEEK I TELL YOU! I got the email on the 1st… he started calling but the 4th. It’s getting heavier- the calls. It’s more frequent and at all hours. From 10pm on I plug out the phone for I can’t bear to hear the phone ring. I
He’s been calling the BOTH of us all this time- since January. I really do believe that it was my calling her is what prompt her to start calling him. When she called him, he did tell me about it. I never told him that I reached out to her. I just said ‘interesting’. When he was in cali, he was calling me and her. She was surprised by that. She was asking what he was calling me for. Business, I guess I replied. It is apparent that she still loves him. Even though she started off the conversation that she couldn’t stand him and she wished death upon him. If she wished death upon him… then why did you see him on Valentine’s Day? She is trying to act tough as thou she could care less. But being the intuitive person that I am… I saw right thru that. I wasn’t mad thou. Its understandable. After 5 years and twins its hard to just ’shake’ someone off. I guess she was trying but my dumb ass apparently dragged her back in again…
Now I walk back to the cave more confused and distraught as ever. He was telling me to let his past be his past. But then at the same time telling her that they could try again and be a family. This is what she was saying to me.
I told her that I do believe he loves her. I don’t know what the story is with me but that he knows that I am beneficial in his life- the work. I told her that he wouldn’t have been bothered by me and I wouldn’t know so much (i Guess) if this wasn’t the case. I know everything pretty much of what she knows. Of course she does know and have experienced a little more (5 years). what to do? leave him the f^ck alone…
yeah, i know. Damn. love hurts. It hurts so, so f^cken bad. I am MAD. MAD I tell you. Doing the right thing feels so wrong. I feel like a f^cken loser!
I Don’t want any man who is thinking of another woman or who doesn’t love me as equally. I rather be alone (which I sadly friggin’ am) than be a sidepiece. No judgement passed here to anyone who is. I can so understand. it is tempting. From based on what I have seem from all of my friends, that sidepiece sh!+ is not rewarding or satisfying. this is what i guess he wanted. to have me as the ‘working’ woman makes moves with and can f^ck while in town. and to create a ‘family life’ with her as he rests out in his home state. I am so distraught.
I am here to tell you ladies this. If the guy is acting wishy washy… then there is a lot on his mind- yes. Some of the many things that could be on his mind are the other woman. Because they know that they can pick and choose from the ‘batch’ that they have ‘gathered’… they do just that. So while we ‘wait’ for them to ‘figure themselves out’ what they are ususally doing is ‘figuring out which chick to pick’. And We f^cken allow them that luxury to do so.
This is why I am riding solo. I am not happy about it but I am.
Imagine you toiling all day in the fields. Picking at the grapes which take hours to do. You have on a ragged old dress butthat doesn’t matter. What matters is for you to pick those grapes so you can have a full basket so you can make wine out of it and of course money. So after many, many hours and days of picking… your basket is full. Happily you show your man the basket. Showing him what you are capable of to start life.
He doesn’t really respond. Instead, he takes that basket and runs to his ‘loveheart’ and shows her. Stating all what he is doing and what is in store. She is impressed. But doesn’t show it.
Wait a minute? The signature on that basket is from a woman who has reached out to me before. Let me find out (which ever way I can) what is going on with them two now.
She she “Loveheart’ reaches out to “WorkaGirl’. WorkaGirl peeps this and thinks to herself… what the heL to do? Give her to him- she concluded. They have a much longer history and are very much entangled. Apparently he loves her still if he is still trying to impress her. She must love him still if she is calling me after TWO MONTHS (and mysteriously after I sent that nice voicemail) just to say she ‘can’t stand him…” and all of the bad stuff about him. So WorkaGirl did that. Gave him to her…
This is how the f^ck I feel.
He’s steady calling but I am not answering.
Another thing. I had asked her if she told him I reached out to her. She said no. I asked her if she is going to let him know if we spoke. She said no. I said I don’t plan on speaking to him anyhow.
I don’t know if he knows or not but I don’t want to talk to him. If he keeps calling me or send me emails. I will. I will tell him that I know EVERYTHING about his past and to just leave me alone and move on. I will tell him that i told her EVERYTHING about our present and that he should just go.
Should I tell him or just leave him the f^ck alone all together?
I really am thinking on the latter but then how do I stop the phone calls?
Oh my, as I type this his is calling.
how long must I continue to plug out my phone?
when I hear the phone… my heart IMMEDIATELY sinks.
not good. so not good.
Been Sitting Back Waiting For You To Say Hes Calling Back To Back… *HI FIVE* Sweetp… YOU GOT HIM RIGHT WHERE YOU WANT HIM… DON’T ANSWER… Let HIM Feel The REJECTION… HE Needs To… (And Trust Me He IS Thinking About All The TRASH That He Did To YOU How He Talked To You … How HE Rejected you.. How He USED, Mistreated and LIED—–> Let It Simmer… Continue To Take Time Finding You… You are even sounding different… Truthfully HE don’t Deserve You and YOU know it… As I said Before allow your self to meet new people… Make new friends… This will DEFINITELY help you move forward. Maybe after this is all over you will eventually be able to just be associates… Life it Much too short to play games… Told you he would blow up your phone… (SMILING) He dont know how to feel right now… He needs you ESPECIALLY for YOUR work… HA HA HA… Let him feel like a fool now *WINKS*
@VirgoWoman…. Nah He Just KNOWS That HE MESSED UP WITH YOU LOL… Thats Why He Does It At Your Bar… He REALLY Wants You… But He Does Not Want To Settle Down Or Be Patient… But Thats His LOSS Not Yours *Smiles* SO SO SO Glad That You Decided To Walk Away… Like I Told Sweetp… Life Is TOO Short…
@SweetP
Awwww, that’s a bummer that he’s been calling his ex all this time. It’s “ok” to date around with several people, ONLY IF EVERYONE knows what’s going on and everything is out in the open. Then each person can decide whether or not to be in the “competition”. What he’s doing has been deceptive. Well, the truth is out now, and I’m glad you’re not taking his calls or answering emails. Just let that phone ring and ring and ring…let him stew in his own juices alone.
And do get out of the house and meet some new people. Do you have a place where you’re comfortable to go get a drink, or maybe a church group, or a social networking or local singles’ group you can join?
@Capricorn Girl *Smiles*,
Seriously, I do think he is “broken” almost exactly the same way my mother was “broken”. …and the thought of dating my mother…. Ewwwww!
I moved out of my parents’ house before I graduated from high school to get away from my mother’s mood swings, temper tantrums, rages, over-protectiveness, perfectionism, demands, smothering…the list goes on. Bottom line…no matter how much love we tried to pour out, it was never enough to fill her feeling of having a bottomless lonely void. My ex-Cap told me he had feelings like that. No woman has EVER been able to understand him and love him enough to fill his endless feelings of loneliness. Classic borderline personality disorder.
Well anyway, yes, moving on. Meeting lots of new men and just hanging with friends. Takin’ it slow, rollin’ with the flow…ya’ know.
Hi VirgoWoman & Capricorn Girl…
Thanks for your support. I am still friggin’ mad thou. Still mad. I’ve been out this morning and I am going back out again. Yes, I am NOT answering his calls. This is going to be difficult because I so want to tell him about his f^cken self. But I must hold my cool… Also, let us not forget, we are on a project, remember? In due time… i will have to correspond with him in some way shape or form. For now, I am trying to avoid ALL COST in doing so.
My question is this. DO I tell him that I spoke to her or not? I am not all that eager to tell him but if he keeps screwing with me like nothing is wrong and he pursues me like I am the only thing on his mind- I am going to bust. He could also be calling me to curse me out. You know how this ‘lovely cappies’ get. They are never wrong. He could flip the story and make it look like I did something wrong.
What to do?
VirgoWoman…
In reference to your parents 60 years of marriage…
There was an episode of ‘Malcolm in the Middle’ where the father had said to the mother that he KNOWS that he loves her more than she loved him. He knew that and was okay with that. He understood that this is sometimes how relationships are built. He was cool with it and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her anyway… in that situation.
I am pretty sure your father knew what time it was when it came on down to your mother. He dealt with it for 60 years. Perhaps it wasn’t meant for you or your siblings to understand… just for him to know- Meaning…
Being in constant support of her gave him his ’strength’. He ‘knew’ he was the rock with this unstable woman and that is where he sees his value. Holding down the house for the family while the mother ‘do her thang…’.
This, to me, doesn’t necessarily seem to be deemed as bad. He knew his position here and gladly accepted it. Also, I could be wrong. I wasn’t there.
I say this because I personally seen, time and time again relationships where one person is the one who really holds it together while the other one either goofs off, constantly gets in trouble, always in financial situations, something. The more ’stable’ person is just that… stable. And this gives them power. This could be either good or bad.
Just an observation. Just a stray thought to what I am currently dealing with
.
@SweetP,
You SHOULD be mad. Stay mad. That fool should have known that he couldn’t play with you AND his Ex at the same time in secret. The truth always comes out. I’d just cool your heels and not tell him you talked to her. His Ex will probably tell him and question him about you.
When you do have to talk to him on your work project, just play cool and talk business only. If he wants to talk about your relationship, just say “Let’s just keep this about business, shall we?” That will really drive him crazy.
My mother was a very lucky woman to have my dad’s undying love. They married at 19 years old. I’m not sure that my dad ever really realized just how insane my mother’s behavior was. He never really dated around or got much life experience with other women to have any reasonable comparison.
And no, you’re right, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Fulfilling his “for better or WORSE until death” wedding vows was clearly very satifying to my father. I don’t think he has ever made a promise which he did not keep.
Many years ago I was travelling with my parents somewhere. My mom brought up something about me never marrying. I told her, “It’s Dad’s fault. I have never been lucky enough to meet a man who treats me as well as Dad treats you, and I’m not settling for less.” My dad just grinned.
I’ve always tried to role model myself into a “rock” of integrity like my dad. But I also need a man to be a “rock” for me. I want an equal relationship, not one of those 120%/70%-or less deals.
@SweetP When you converse with him about work… STICK WITH WORK… IF he tries to change the subject tell him that you are only interested in the business deal nothing more… And Keep It STRICTLY Business… If he tries to talk about anything else. Ask him is there anything else that needs to be discussed about your project if he says not then say ok talk to you later and hang up. Period.. There is nothing else? Continue to search yourself and your own heart… Keep him pursuing you… This will Break him and give you the respect treat you DESERVE… NEVER answer ANY Questions About You And HIM… Turn it back to work or say you gotta go… MUAHS GALS
There are MILLIONS OF GUYS ESPECIALLY CAPS THAT ARE MATURE, LOVING AND READY FOR A *REAL* WOMAN AND RELATIONSHIP… I am convinced Sweetp That You are well on your way to an extremely great relationship once you meet Mr Right… Because NOW you know how NOT to be too passive… Being too passive will get you messed over… People tend to take Kindness for Weakness… I have Faith in you and I Know that Virgo woman does to… Peace Chic
I hear you Capricorn Girl… since ‘the phone convo’ I haven’t spoken to him since. That’s been March 1st. And prior to that I haven’t spoken to him. He calls everyday. I don’t answer. So unofortunate… he couldn’t tell me…
I feel like a jacka$$ for still feeling for him. I bear to hear his voice right now. So I avoid it all together. When I can… then i will stick to strictly business- but until then… * sigh*
*SMILING* Keep Pressing Sweetp :^) It WILL work together for YOUR Good… Like i spoke to you initially about caps… THEY Absolutely HATE being ignored.. Especially after they have be bad :^)
P.S It will Only Be Better For You in the Long Run
Can you please elaborate? Better how?
My gosh.
Tonight he said “Guess I love you”. He hates that I use “doublespeak”…my words don’t match my actions according to him. A bit of a blow-up, and we will follow his usual behavior of “putting space” out there while I hurt and stew. He doesn’t want me to go anywhere, but he puts distance between us. He has trust issues, got cheated on hardcore. I haven’t…just that I called him out on something that I didn’t like, but I had done to him once. So my words don’t match my actions.
Hurting. It feels like I’m being tested, and I’m damned if I do…and damned if I don’t.