Pisces man wonders why love seems so hopeless for him

Ephemeral Dreamer provided an estimated birth time (click chart to view) and writes,

From one piscean to another:

After a life long struggle I have nearly come to accept Life’s designated role for me: I am the dark pisces; the garbage-pail pisces.

I’ve always been idealistic no matter how many times I got hurt and growing up in a tough neighborhood, that was quite often.

As a child I ranged from cocky, outgoing to shy sometimes all in the same day.

I didn’t start to develop low self-esteem until high school, I began to notice girls weren’t as into me as I expected.

Not to say I didn’t have any girlfriends but I was a ‘late-bloomer’; I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 17.

But believe you me I’ve been horny ever since kindergarten.

Totally unrelated but I was molested by my babysitter’s teenage son when I was a kid, I thought I dealt with that as best I could.

It’s funny but in college I had beautiful girlfriends but the relationships were so stressful that they didn’t last.

I’ve put on the weight, my health has deteriorated, my outlook on life is pretty bleak, I’ve contemplated suicide, sometimes when I drive I have to pull over because I get so caught up in my emotional state. My mom passed away (cancer) in 2004 and my favorite kitty died (diabetes) last year and I still miss them. I’ve recently been diagnosed with diabetes and when I look in the mirror I just want to kill what’s looking back at me. But sometimes I do think “You know you’re not pretty, but you’re not a bad-looking (rugged-looking) chap. So what’s your problem?”

I pray and pray but I feel lost.

Fellow Pisces, you have a few challenges in your chart. Your Pisces Sun is opposed by Pluto, lord of the underworld. You say you are the “dark Pisces, the garbage pail Pisces.” Pluto is the darkness, Pluto is refuse. It is the planet symbolizing all that is submerged into the unconscious, stuffed away in hidden corners because these elements are socially unacceptable, taboo. Pluto is the realm of violent struggles for dominance, sexual taboos. Pluto can ‘kill’ whatever planet it aspects (or intensify its expression) — in your case, it has demolished your already weak Pisces ego. (Molestation also falls under Pluto’s grip.)

You are also more Piscean than a typical Pisces, which results in increased sensitivity and an experience of victimhood/martyrdom. Your Moon is in Pisces, square Neptune, the ruler of this intuitive sign. Your Sun trines Neptune, which suggests a strong imagination, as well as a desire to frequently transcend mundane reality. Your Sagittarius Mars (the action planet) is weakened by a conjunction to Neptune, which makes it hard to get up in the morning unless its for a cause greater than yourself.

Your struggles in relationship may be attributed to a conjunction between Venus (planet of love) and Saturn (planet of hardship and delay). You may feel that you are not attractive or lovable enough for a relationship. (Read Honoring Saturn and Venus for more on this combination.)

First off … don’t kill yourself. Consult a mental health professional for support. You’ve recently had a stressful Pluto transit to your natal Sun and Pluto. Pluto can bring death, both literal and psychological. It sounds like you’ve had to deal with major loss the last few years, and are going through your own personal hell.

You’re a highly Neptunian person, so I would recommend taking on a dedicated spiritual practice. But even more important right now, you need a good dose of discipline, especially since your health is at risk. Now is the perfect time, because transiting Saturn is squaring your natal Mars through summer of 2008. Your Mars in Sag needs to take up a sport, and you need to stick to a strict regimen to lose weight. Use Saturn’s transit in Virgo to focus on your health and to develop a daily routine that gives your life a sense of order.

About Jeffrey Kishner

Jeffrey Kishner is founder and publisher of Sasstrology. He is a licensed mental health counselor and has been doing astrological counseling since 2001. Jeffrey has been published in print magazines including The Mountain Astrologer and Dell Horoscope, and has written online for sites including AOL, Tarot.com and StarIQ. Jeffrey has also been heavily involved in the astrology blogger community. Read his personal blog at JeffreyKishner.com.


  1. Good advice.

    Take care of yourself first,physically and spiritually. Do not harm yourself or commit suicide, someone cares about you.

    Good luck to you. I hope you find what you are looking for.

  2. Anonymous says:


    You’re an angel. Thank you.

    And thank you too Scorp…

  3. proserpine says:

    Pisces man–yeah, please please get some help.You’re *not8 refuse, or garbage.
    You’re depressed, and you’re grieving.
    There is no reason to kill what you see in the mirror.
    because bad things happen and all of us *do* some not so good things too.It’s not like you’re bad or anyhting close to that.
    And even if you were, that can change.
    I have been depressed too.I understand it.
    Take care of yourself.Nothing is so bad that you should do away wiht yourself.
    There is *always* hope.

  4. Sagilarious says:

    Oh sweet Pisces ANGEL!!!!

    You darling! Please don’t give up hope. There are women out there who will love you for who you are, who will reach for the best in you, and adore even your imperfections.

    I have moon in Pisces, Scorpio rising, but when it comes down to it, I am a rambunctious Sagittarius female who stubbles into the arms of a Pisces with more joy than a puppy meeting his/her new family.

    I LOVE PISCES MEN because of the very traits you listed as yours. Your dark side: sexy. Sex drive: refreshing. Late bloomer: charming. Cocky – Shy variation: anything but BORING thank goodness. The hopeless romantic steals my heart! Your emotional depth doubles a tool for compassion, something I savor from a lover!

    You are a special and unique person, and you will need a special and unique woman to love you. She will be as rare as you, so obviously, you won’t run into this type of woman on a regular basis. BUT SHE IS OUT THERE.

    Also remember, you are beautiful even if those stupid females are not clever enough to notice.

    Pisces, pisces, pisces. You are my FAVORITE sign. Don’t talk badly about yourself. My Angel (a Pisces) does that, and when he does, my heart LITERALLY breaks into a million pieces.

  5. SuchAVirgo says:

    You sound downright yummy!

    Its not that I haven’t read what you wrote…I just also read in between the lines.

    Anytime that situations feel as difficult as yours makes you feel it is generally the storm before the calm. (Yes, I reversed the saying 🙂 that’s just how I look at it, I’m going through the storm too, trust me!)

    Try to relax, get out, experience nature.

    Hang out with some life-a-holics.

    Just as the comment prior to mine revealed, there are many women out here who adore and love the traits that pisces men offer, and you my dear certainly seem to display the traits typically associated with a pisces.

    Try not to look for the right person. Try to prepare yourself for them. Make sure that you are everything (or as close to it) that the best person for you deserves. So when they do come into your life, you won’t feel that you have so much to work on. Because if they come now, you may feel like you don’t deserve them. But you do, whether they come tomorrow or next decade, you deserve the right person.

    Also, spending so much time reflecting on past relationships couldn’t be very healthy, look for other things to focus on. Get lost in a book store or a good movie.

    You aren’t alone in the world, remember that. Appearances can be misleading. 🙂

  6. Hi Neighbor, my sincerest wish for you is that you will join Seduction Central. I think you will find a group of very kind and caring people who might just help you see that you are a valuable and unique person. No one should feel so alone. My heart hurt when I read your post. Everyone has choices and I hope you choose to fight and not succumb to the darker part of your nature. I know there are a lot of pisces who might be able to define some of the anquish you feel better than the rest of us. I believe there you will find a way to interpret them and maybe deal with them in a way that lets you see that you are not “garbage”. You simply are not.

    You have nothing to lose… join us there and let me be the first to welcome you. Peace

  7. BalancedSag says:

    Dear Mr. Pisces, please, like other people who have commented, I have to say that I love Pisces.

    In fact, it is interesting that this is coming up for discussion right now as it has been the last few weeks that I have dearly thought so much of the Pisces in my life, and have noticed that it is not only Taurus energy that I tend to pull into my life and surround me but also Pisces (and I look back and see it my whole life).

    Just this morning, I was going to visit a Dear Wonderful Amazing Pisces friend (that I cannot say enough about) and I heard Silent Night on the radio and started balling.

    Honestly, the beauty of this friend, that I was about to see, reminded me of all the loveliness I had around me as a child ~ and I immediately missed my grandma and great Aunt Hazel (the Matriarch of my family), the Pisces.

    I have, just this week, noted how wonderful one of my bosses is, who is a Pisces, and try to work with her EVERY chance I get, and I am absolutely oversaddened by the loss of a great Pisces friend that I had for some time.

    This friend spoke very similarly to you and had great frustrations with himself and yet he was and is soooo amazing (the only part about him that wasn’t amazing was that he didn’t know it!). He has just completely stopped speaking to me (he hates my boyfriend…. long story,…) and I have no control over his choices but respect them and will at least cherish and remember the good friend that I once knew.

    I have pluto square my 29 degrees Sun in Sag right now and so ~ I trully understand the dark stuff you speak of. I also understand that pluto will be changing my world for awhile, and eventually I will understand the benefits, but not necessarily right now.

    Every part of my life is changing, and I expect will continue for the next 2 years so that, for example, it does not surprise me that my friend needed to go his own way; I may see this in many ways in my life; pluto is rebirth and change. When pregnant, whether we want to or not, we will eventually give birth ~ this change becomes non-stoppable,and as a mother of two, I tell you, that “birth” (no matter what you are creating) can bring the greatest blessings that one could EVER imagine, and Pisces can imagine great things. You may even be able to imagine a great thing like, feeling more beauty in every moment, even the “ugly” moments.

    A dear Capricorn, who appears “manly” enough and such, one day told me a story. He told me a tale of how he, as a child, absolutely loved crying. He remembers so vividly the pure joy of crying and crying and crying.

    His simple comment story (because it wasn’t a long one) made me think for a long time. Firstly that it came from a Capricorn, was interesting, but from another point I was amazed at how simple he put the information out there about the beauty of everything. I have saturn in my 1st house opposing all of my sun, moon, and rising signs rulers (venus, mars, and jupiter) and am almost a Cappy (on the cusp), and so can identify with the meloncholy. Isn’t it beautiful that there can be a place for all things, including pain?

    I have been very pisces-ish growing up also, having my suns ruling planet jupiter conjunct neptune; I have always been a dreamy girl… God Bless the dreamers!

    Keep writing on this post etc… if you need to, being a communicator sign, this can probably do some aid for you to get through this time. I have had my moments (with pluto) and can vouch for this!! And I am a DEFINITE communicator (I could probably, literally, talk all day)~ and it helps me. 🙂

    (funny story: when I first moved away to college and shared an apartment there were 3 girls. One was a gemini, one a virgo, and me~ the Sag. When it worked out that we were all home, say for an afternoon for example, we would talk for sooooooo long that we would completely- and I mean completely, exhuast ourselves to the point that we would then all have to go and take long naps!!!- see, now we needed a pisces there too, just imagine ~ we would of had to sleep the whole weekend to recoperate!)

  8. Anonymous says:

    This is Ephemeral Dreamer (posting as Anonymous):

    Oh My God, all of you and your kind words have sincerely inspired me. Today is Sunday (12:45PM) and I looked at my posting and was floored by the beautiful things you all wrote.

    Thank you so much; What you wrote had me in tears (no shock there :))

    Thank you proserpine (I do want to live (You’re so right)), sagilarious (You are sweet for your thoughtfulness; I will not give up hope), suchavirgo (“Try not to look for the right person. Try to prepare yourself for them.” That is sage advice I will take to heart.), jmr (I joined and you were right)and balancedsag (Your words touched my heart).

    All of you, sincerely,
    have given me food for thought. I shamefully have been in a dreamworld, living in denial, about a great many things. Articulating what I did was painful; it was right there in text and I could no longer pretend I was feeling any other way. But reading your posts… God bless you all. Tears, hugs, and kisses.

    I have been reading and re-reading everyone’s comments over and over!

  9. You really made my day with your email. I am so happy that you are seeing things from a different angle. We all experience those times when we feel the weight of our world, but we need to take a peek inside other worlds to share our experiences and problems and good times too. There is nothing wrong with feeling. It’s when you stop feeling that you know you have a problem.

    Please come to http://seductioncentral.ning.com/ and join us. There is a wealth of information about Pisces as well as a majority of Pisces members who are very active in discussions.


  10. Anonymous says:

    I think that you should do Landmark Education Forum, http://www.landmarkeducation.com and try Jesus. I am a Pisces too. But I am so full of Joy! I use to say “I am so upset” all of the time, and I found that I was always upset. I started saying I am fantastic and full of Joy, and that is the context in which I live.

    I feel that you also are not saved, or are a Christian, and you don’t have anything to hold on to and depend on. Try Jesus. He loves you.

    Also, if you think you have it bad now…kill yourself, and spend eternity in hell, and you will never be able to see sunshine, flowers, kittys, or roses.

    Snap out of the self pity! Life’s too good to remain unhappy. Why choose that everyday? It’s because you are so powerful and wonderful that you are fought. But what’s fighting you…is YOU! Then you blame others… You need to praise God for joy. I know you have a hard cross to bear, but I think your issues are “common to mankind.” and Cats are a dime a dozen. I lost two. The Vet killed them. I was trying to be a good mom to them, and the vet gave them a disease. 🙂 (Common to man)

    If you want someone to feel sorry for you, mission accomplished. Now what? Who are you? You don’t know, so you don’t love it. You love your dead cat more than you thank God for your wonderful life. Tisk Tisk.

    God bless you, now go BE! Be a blessing to others…In Jesus’ Name!

  11. I love pisces men…

  12. pisces man you are brave to state you have been molested . it happens to boys much more than you think but men dont come forward. value the life god gave you you deserve so much more than you think. don,t let the molester win also the molester may have been molested himself take care of yourself we care

  13. I am a pisces man and I know we go up and down with the emotions and mood swings. But man come on we are pisces show the fight that is in us we are strong look within and take all that anxiety and use it to get stronger. That is how we survive never count a pisces out that is our motto we always always always win!

  14. Nobody Wins.. says:

    Tried a pisces man for 20 years on and off… impossible…

    Recently he apologized for being so “SELFISH”. It took years for him to see that he was the cause of his own problems.. financial, emotional and physical.. which affected our family life drastically..

    It was like living in wonderland with alice…

    So glad I’m out of that nightmare.

    He has a new love interest, however still wants action with me (and God knows who else) on the side.
    Pisces fancy themselves as perfect and love to trash other people.

    They however, never see their own flaws…

  15. I love it how science and astrology come together to solve physical and mental dilemmas. It’s much clearer to think what could have cause a mental disorder with the use of astrology and the human anatomy. Kudos! Great job!

  16. NewlyWedLibraLady says:

    The guy needs to find some comedy in his life. Do something stupid, not dangerous, just harmless and crazy. go out, get thrown out of a restaurant just for fun, LOL phone up the tax office and ask them really really dumb questions, LOL, people have to make the world interesting for themselves sometimes. Another thing, instead of feeling “oh poor me” get out and help someone else for a change, then you won’t be moping, if your no good for you then be good for someone else and stop being so self centered. My Pisces mother in law has everything, but all she does is feel sorry for herself, my mom lost my dad in 2008 and she is a lot more fun to hang out with, then again shes a Scorpio, heres a thought for most Pisces people, please please please, GROW A SENSE of HUMOUR, life will eat you if you don’t kick the *&%$ out of it

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