Scorpio woman unsure of Cancer man’s intentions
October 11, 2007 by kishner
Angel_eyes provided a birth time (click chart to view) and also asked this question on the forum:
I am a newbie here on your forum, I was looking around for some love advice and stumbled on to your blog and it seems to be the most helpful one I have seen. I sure hope you can help me. I am a Scorpio female who is really interested in a Cancer male and I just can’t figure him out. It has been over 6 months almost a year of this kinda ‘turmoil’ I have been going thru. I am sure most of it is by my own design being such an emotional creature myself. We have known each other for almost 5 years and had a short fling right away then got caught up in our lives and lost touch. Over a year ago we found each other again and boy did the sparks fly! I was in a relationship and he wasn’t so we just talked for awhile and he would always ask me to come and see him while he did his local gigs at one of the clubs in town. I never got the chance to go and thought it might interfere with my current relationship, due to our somewhat overwhelming chemistry. Things stayed light for awhile and I really enjoyed the attention from him. Then one day I decided I wasn’t happy and ended my current relationship, we got the chance to finally ‘have a go’ and see what happens, so we got together and decided to start dating ‘exclusively’. Well, the break-up I had was pretty brutal and then I had some family issues, then he just started a new job that consumed 80 hrs of his work week, and all this no more then a week after we had decided we would start dating and we were again both caught up in our own lives and decided it would be better to not start this relationship. It has been hell ever since and that was a little over 6 months ago. He still gives me attention, but more randomly. Just recently his work situation has become much better and he is NOT shy by any means about what he wants to do, but I an afraid that all he wants to do is….well you get the idea. He tells me he likes me, wants to settle down into a relationship after I express my disconcern about his intentions but I am having a hard time thinking it is true. Some reasons for my hesitation on his advances, he has many admirers and kinda a flirt and this makes my uncomfortable, I will try to start a conversation with him and he is always busy but I am never busy when he wants to talk, he never picks up the phone to call me (!) and as soon as I feel like i am completely over him ready to move on and be done with the whole thing he swoops back in trying to pull me back. I don’t feel ’special’ enough and wonder if he only comes around when he wants the attention. I am proud to say though, I have been able to dodge his advances and we haven’t slept together since we decided to start dating, but that was ages ago and I wonder if he just wants to ‘conquer’ me one more time. *blush* I am a single mom who just stays home and doesn’t get the chance to be as outgoing as my personality would like and he is an aspiring pilot with wishes to move away to some carribean island (sooo cancer) Maybe I am scared that all this waiting for what I think will be so amazing will end up bad and so will our friendship. I guess I am just afraid to really fall in love and give in this time and end up with him flying away. Although…I would be more then happy to go along for the ride!
Not sure of what to do.
Your fear that this Cancer man just wants to conquer you sexually may be related to the transit of Pluto to your natal Mars in Sagittarius. Mars is the planet of sexuality, and yours rules your Fifth House of Sex With No Strings Attached. Pluto is the planet of power, intensifying sexual drives and the desire to dominate. Could it be that you want to get nasty, but that you aren’t “owning it” because you’re stuck at home with your kids?
Saturn recently entered Virgo and exactly opposed your Pisces Moon when you posted this question. In your chart, the Moon rules your Eighth House of Sex Within a Committed Relationship. Venus entered Virgo on October 8 and is now opposing your Moon. The planet of relationships will conjoin transiting Saturn on October 14. (I write more about this in my recent Libra New Moon post). As Saturn restrains pleasure-seeking Venus, you are “holding out.” Transiting Venus opposite your natal Moon may illuminate the tension between your responsibilities (Saturn) as a mother and your need to feel truly cared about (Moon) versus your need to enjoy some good lovin’ (Venus).
You mention in the forum discussion, “I wish one of us would just be open enough to tell the other what we ‘honestly feel’…. I just think it would make things so much easier if people were just honest with themselves and others about their feelings toward others, wouldn’t that solve so much?” Your emotional Pisces Moon is in your Third House of Communication. You need to talk about your feelings, yet the transit of Saturn has a restrictive influence, and in particular evokes fear. This fear that you won’t be embraced by him in a committed relationship results in loneliness and isolation. What if you took the risk of being completely vulnerable with him?
Your question comes down to whether you can trust him. Does he just want a good lay, or does he want to get serious with you? All things being equal, a Cancer would be more inclined towards the latter. Your challenge right now is to balance your cautiousness (Saturn in Virgo transit) with the powerful sexual drive being propelled by Pluto.
Comment below to offer feedback to Angel_eyes, or visit her discussion thread on the forum.
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Angel_eyes has a good reason for being cautious about him. I wonder what is this Cancer’s ascendant, because he sounds like a roamer (flirty, wants to be a pilot, etc.). Don’t let the usual horoscopes fool you into thinking all Cancers are homebodies that want to be in stable relationships. Cancer men can be some of the most under-the-radar players in the zodiac (next to Pisces).
Angel_eyes, there’s a reason why you’re feeling cautious about him. Unfortunately, everything you’ve written about Mr. Cancer is demonstrating that his actions don’t match his words. He doesn’t call you, flirts with others, and gives you random attention (although this could be because of his long work hours). These aren’t the actions of someone who wants to get serious. Maybe he just wanted to see if you would leave your ex for him? Or maybe he’s just so focused on his career that he doesn’t have time for a serious relationship despite wanting one?
The only way to find out the answer to your questions is to have an honest conversation with him about your feelings – emphasis on sharing your honest feelings. Listen closely to his responses. Then, trust your Scorpio instincts.
“Don`t allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”
That’s a good quote to remember.
First I must say Wow to Jeffery, because I think you nailed it on the head how I have been projecting my insecurities on others and second Thank you for taking the time to really take a look into my situation, I appreciate it so much. I think I have learned alot about myself in just the few paragraphs you wrote. If you think you are confused by Scorpio’s, try being one.
To Jara; I have said that same quote over and over and over and OVER to myself and once someone else said it, I think it finally hit home. I have tried to be vunerable, emotionally open, completely upfront and honest with him but I still seem to get the run around. I really feel that it’s one of those relationships that has the stigma of *bad timing* you know, if this happened and if this didn’t happen and if -whatever, we could be together. I know I will always have a place for him in my heart, not that many people understand him like me, but I am really unsure of what our future holds. I will keep an update IF anything happens though, I an quite liking these conversations about love and the way this all works and will continue my place here 
thank you all!!!
I will keep an update IF anything happens though, I an quite liking these conversations about love and the way this all works and will continue my place here
thank you all!!!
Kick up your feet, mega_star. Jeffrey’s “house” is quite comfy.
I have tried to be vunerable, emotionally open, completely upfront and honest with him but I still seem to get the run around.
Hey, today the Moon is in Scorpio, so the emotional lesson for today is possibly to be a bit more guarded while still uncovering what’s really going on in this situation (or discovering new things about your own feelings). As a person with my Moon in Scorpio, I have to tell you, I cringed a little when you mentioned being vulnerable and emotionally open to this guy who doesn’t seem to be reciprocating the vulnerability. That’s my worst fear – laying myself open for someone who won’t do the same. Or worse, use all that info. against me. While it’s brave of you to be vulnerable first, there’s a point where leaving yourself open isn’t psychically healthy anymore – if he doesn’t appreciate what you’re doing.
I really feel that it’s one of those relationships that has the stigma of *bad timing* you know, if this happened and if this didn’t happen and if -whatever, we could be together.
As for bad timing, yes that sucks. Two people can be perfect for one another, but if the timing isn’t right…no green light to move forward.
yeah Jeffreys right Cancer guys like to get cozy they stick around sometimes too much all gooey like cinnamon buns yummy too
scorpio women think they can have any man but cancer men see right through them go for a pisces man instead like jeffery they’ll be putty in your hands
scorpio women think they can have any man but cancer men see right through them go for a pisces man instead like jeffery they’ll be putty in your hands