How to Break Up With an Air Sign (part 3 of the Breaking Up Series)

Disclaimer: This blog entry is for humorous and educational purposes only. Adhere to the following advice at your own risk.

Ah, air signs. So breezy. So much fun. So deceptively low maintenance. Who would want to break up with one? If the answer to that question is you, then you’re in luck. Here’s an easy-breezy guide to how to get out of your relationship with a gregarious Gemini, likeable Libra or abstract Aquarius.

The Breakup Strategy

Geminis are probably the most difficult of the three air signs to break up with because you are in a relationship with (at least) two people who happen to have the same face. Yes, the Twins are a handful. You probably fell in love with the charming twin. The Charmer is the smooth talker that always manages to say the right thing at the right time. You’ve tried to break up with Gemini before, but The Charmer kept you coming back for more. The other twin makes you remember why you wanted to end the relationship in the first place. Let’s call this one The Actor. The Actor will try on different moods to provoke a certain response out of his audience (in this case, you). Why? Purely for entertainment purposes. The difficulty in breaking up with Gemini comes in if you’re not prepared to handle both of the Twins at the same time (either one can appear and disappear at will). Don’t try to break up with The Charmer by having a two-way conversation. This twin will just talk you out of your decision. Send a quick “we’re over” text message or email. The Charmer will appreciate the brevity and try to contact you. Don’t pick up the phone, answer the door or respond to any written communications. After two weeks, The Charmer will have moved on to someone or something else. Leaving The Actor is harder because this twin has a seemingly endless amount of scripts to choose from. This one will enjoy the drama of the breakup and milk it for all it’s worth. When you’re emotional, he acts like he couldn’t care less. When you’re distant, he’s passionate. And so on…The Actor has more stamina than The Charmer. Expect to hear back from him for a long time after the official breakup.

Breaking up with Libra is relatively easy. Make the breakup as pleasant as possible. This sign does not handle anger well at all, and can be very unpredictable when agitated. For example, Libra could snap and start smashing plates, only to act as if nothing out of the ordinary happened 10 seconds later. In other words, don’t get Libra upset. The best way to keep Libra in a pleasant mood is to create a beautiful atmosphere for the breakup. Take Libra to his or her favorite restaurant (public places are great for keeping Libra’s anger in check because they don’t like making scenes). Keep the enjoyable conversation flowing (helps set up the sneak attack later). Casually mention your solo future plans. Libra will notice the lack of “we” in your plans and ask you about it. Use this as your opener to discuss why you think it’s best for both of you to explore other opportunities for happiness (don’t worry, Libra understands euphemisms). Resist suggestions to go to couples counseling. Don’t answer the “What can I do to make things better?” question Libra is surely to ask. Whatever you do, don’t blame Libra. This will make Libra defensive and start a passive-aggressive, never-ending (although reasonable) debate that you have no chance in hell of winning (unless you’re a Gemini). Remember to tell Libra that you have no hard feelings and would like to remain friends (regardless of whether this is true or not). If you don’t care to take this long route down Breakup Blvd., then simply forget your manners at all times and/or introduce Libra to her dream date. She’ll thank you in the future by sending you an invitation to their wedding.

There are two types of Aquarians. The optimal breakup strategy differs according to which Aquarian you’re trying to dump. There’s the Aquarian ruled by Saturn (keywords: structure, convention) that is now used to being in a relationship and will resist change. Then there’s the more widely known version of Aquarius ruled by Uranus (keywords: free-thinking, unconventional) that already has one foot out the door. Obviously, the latter doesn’t require much convincing to accept his walking papers. Tell him it’s been fun, but you’ve outgrown the relationship. However, the Saturn-ruled Aquarius…now that’s another story. She will hate that she’s emotionally dependent on you, but will still try to hold onto the relationship. Be prepared to watch the inner battle Aquarius wages with himself over this contradiction. Contrary to popular belief, Aquarians don’t dislike being in relationships. They dislike being in confining relationships. Paradoxically, if you allowed them their freedom to come and go as they please, they will not give up the relationship without a fight. After all, Aquarius is a fixed sign and can be very stubborn. The easiest way to get an Aquarius to let go is to start restricting freedoms (think prison guard), become a professional nagger (think PMS-ing Mommy), and take every opportunity to treat others as if they’re beneath you (think royalty). Remember to maintain a holier than thou attitude while fighting to keep the status quo of inequality for all, and you won’t have to worry about spending your Saturdays participating in another peace protest or recycle program against your will ever again.

The Ex-Files

Geminis can be the exes from heaven or hell. It really depends on what you liked most about them. If you enjoyed their stimulating company and all the funny jokes they cracked, you’ll have a friend for life. If you expected to have a white, picket-fence house, 2.5 kids, and a dog named Skippy with your Gemini, then the relationship probably left a bitter aftertaste in both of your mouths. Regardless of whether things ended on good or bad terms, prepare to be bad-mouthed whenever someone asks Gemini why things didn’t work out between you two. File for full custody of the children.

You’re probably still a bit in love with your Libra ex. That’s OK. It happens to the best of us. Why does this happen? Well, Libra probably spent most of the time being (or trying to be) your ideal mate, so it’s hard to let go of that fantasy. And it doesn’t help matters that she still flirts with you as if it’s your first date. Libra will probably work out a fair custody agreement re: the children. Don’t expect to be the favorite parent.

If you’re a fire or air sign, you’re still good friends with your Aquarius ex – meaning you speak to him every several months or so to play catch up. If you’re a water or earth sign, you’re wondering why you feel as if you were temporarily abducted by aliens. Aquarius will want to be on good terms
with you, but you won’t understand why.

How did your relationship with a Gemini, Libra or Aquarius end? Did the end of your relationship with an air sign leave you windswept or walking on clouds?

About the Author

Jara Dan-Fodio has been gazing at the sky and observing people all of her life. After reading her first astrology book that went beyond the 12 zodiac signs 15 years ago, the patterns she noticed began to make sense. Although she dabbles in vocational, predictive and electional astrology upon request, her favorites are depth astrology and synastry. She’s an eternal student of life and astrology is just one of her many teachers. You can find more of this 8th houser’s astro-notes at Random Astrology or Twitter.

Comments

  1. Quirky Aquarius says:

    Aquarius Female: If you want me to break up with you… nag me, call me 20 times a day, argue with me, act better than everyone around you… and the top reason, put down someone in my family. I will vent about them and get so mad at them BUT they are still my family and if you do it… look out. I dont even think I’d break up with you, I’d just ignore your every attempt to contact me. Another way would be to not show interest in me anymore. I dont chase you so if thats your reason for playing hard to get, it wont work.
    I want someone who gives me time but also allows me to have my own time. DONT be jealous, HUGE turn off. Just be a friend, bottom line. I’m a human being not a possession. I am very outgoing and friendly when treated that way.

  2. Will there ever be a part 4: Breaking up with a water sign? i don’t see that one on her list of posts.

  3. Britt, there is no “breaking up with a water sign.” I don’t know if there will be one in the future, but I will keep it in mind.

  4. Yep, thanks for posting that Katrine-Marie!

    Pisces is the easiest water sign to break up with because 1.) Pisces already sensed you were unhappy long before you did and 2.) there’s already someone else waiting in the wings to help take Pisces’ mind off of his or her heartbreak (to help move this along, invite that person along on your breakup date). Since Pisces is so easy to break up with, do try your best to let the Fishy down gently. Don’t list all the reasons why the relationship won’t work. Just say you’d like to be friends and leave it at that (don’t worry, Pisces will know you’re lying but appreciate the kind words just the same). If Pisces tries to get in touch with you (i.e., drunk dials/texts/emails/visits), don’t respond. Note: If Pisces threatens suicide or homicide, provide the number to a suicide hotline and then disappear for good.

    Yep, I am pretty sure my ex Pisces already had his current pregnant Cap girlfriend as his target before we broke up. If not her, one of many possible chicks. Asshole. It’s cool though… I needed to go through that relationship to find out what red flags were.

  5. @no-perspiration -

    You’re welcome.

    Yes, it’s actually true… I usually also have some other target when I break up with (re: cheat and tell because I’m too big a chicken to tell the truth and simply break up like other people) someone.

  6. Katrine-Marie,

    I hope you’ve grown up since then. That’s neither mature nor honorable for anybody.

  7. NewlyWedLibraLady says:

    Personally I would just tell them “hey, I’m sick of you so go away.” This would be pretty straigtforward for all signs. Why can’t everyone just be honest, if you don’t like them then thats that, why keep them guessing, thats cruel. When my first husband left me I was happy he was gone, when he tried to get back together I just plainly told him why I was glad he left, Libra men arn’t very nice about being told the truth but I was perfectly happy about my honesty. He left with the idea that I would beg him to come back, big mistake, don’t break up unless its for real, and don;t leave a person hanging, just tell them, its over, if you hate them tell them, if you’re bored with them, tell them, why is everyone so afraid to speak the truth?

  8. @Katrine-Marie Thank you for posting the 4th part of the series. The link you posted is to my old blog, though. My current one is on WordPress: http://randomastrology.wordpress.com/2009/10/02/water-sign-breakup/

    @Britt Hope you enjoy. :)

  9. Wow. Breaking up with a Gemini can be quite a handful indeed. I better be careful the next time encounter a Gemini or I’ll be in big trouble. Hahah!

  10. HELP ME PLEASE!!!

    I know this is a very old article but someone please!!! Just find this post and help me :(

    I have this friend (gemini) and from day one i have made it quite clear to this guy that i want nothing more but friendship…

    But now… F*** hey.. I cant take this anymore..
    Im on the vergeof slapping this guy all the way to mars..he told me in so many words that he wants to be wayyy more rhan friends..he somthers me.. Buys me things.. Tells me what to do, how to be, he wants to spend every single lunchbreak with me.. I simply cant take this anymore. Whats worse is.. I see him all day yet he still insists on texting me afterward.i am slowly loosing my mind cause whats worse is.. I really like his friend. And when the gemini is around.. His friend keeps his distance from me :(

    I dont want to loose him as a friend but i dont know if its worth feeling so frustrated and sumthered and EMOTIONALLY OBLIGATED all the time..

    Ps. Im an aquarius

  11. Misti Alu says:

    I have been dating a Gemini guy for the last 4 years and I am a pieces. I know i cannot breakup easily with someone as I have lingering feelings for them until I get exhausted which I am right now. I just can’t have the last word. He is always jumping to conclusions and trying to change the direction where i want to head to. This is so freaking frustrating. Yes he can be a charmer but he treats me so bad when things don’t go his way which tears me apart. I tried so hard to keep it all in and make things better but it just is not happening and I don’t suppose it will happen in the near future either. Please help and send me some strength :(

  12. Welcome Misti Alu,

    I hear what you are saying and you have come to the right place because as you
    can see these forums are full of people with similar if not identical relationship
    struggles whom are also looking for answers so hopefully you will derive some
    insight and strength knowing you are “NOT ALONE”.

    Even though you probably feel that you are since you are the one experiencing this
    emotional turmoil which is very personal and isolated, but the good thing is you are
    addressing and confronting this problem by talking about it which will now help you
    to get it out of your system by externalising it and not suppressing it which has led
    to your feeling “EXHAUSTED”.

    Four years is a very, very long time to be in a “dating relationship” so I am wondering
    as to why it has not progressed beyond that by now.??? In any case you have most
    probably made a “HUGE EMOTIONAL INVESTMENT” which is very hard to walk away
    from unless you have reached the point of no return where you have exhausted every
    possibility of making it “WORK” which you can not do alone and it needs to be a comb-
    ined effort from both of you.

    Geminis are duality personalities and it can be confusing when they go from being very
    charming to the verge of sarcasm and cutting remarks which do not make sense but it
    is something in their nature which you either accept or reject and neither can be easy to
    deal and live with unless you weigh their “GOOD QUALITIES” against the “BAD”.???

    And they do have a lot of good qualities from what I have seen so far from my daughters
    relationship with a Gemini, she is a Libra and somehow they balance each other out due
    to their “duality and the air which they both share”. They have been together for over a
    year and my daughter has had her share of his unpredictable other side which made her
    question his level of commitment in the beginning and a cutting remark regarding healthy
    food she had lovingly prepared and he obviously didn’t enjoy so she chose to overlook
    that incident which was a one of and that was the end of the matter.

    So what you need to do now is to “EVALUATE” your relationship by weighing the “GOOD”
    against the “BAD”, the “PROS” and the “CONS” of what you can deal and live with where
    his verbal expressions and actions are concerned against your expectations of what is
    acceptable, tolerable and coexisting standards which will either enable you to continue in
    the relationship or decide to call it “QUITS”.???

    Think about it and if you like to talk further I am here to listen and hopefully help. Taurus.

  13. Misti Alu says:

    The reason why it hasnt yet progressed as much is because this is a LONG DISTANCE relationship. I have left the country to complete my bachelors where as he is a college drop out. he constantly finds himself to be at the lower end of the relationship which i don’t. yes i do become haughty when he raises these points but i don’t want to intentionally ever point out that i am better than him. when i did turn off all sources of communication with him today, he made his mom contact me and she started to cry! What will I say here!? I was desperately trying to reason but she made me promise that things will change from now on… i mean fine, but i am not in a relationship with his mom and then his mom says that he threatened to commit suicide. he did have a very rough past with cheating x’s but seriously? would he really commit suicide? he himself wanted to break up so many times with me, now i see all the drama? i dont have any space of my own and everything HAS to be reported to him which is suffocating for a pieces. should i keep on ignoring his calls, txts, emails? or should i respond? I did talk to his mom and promised her to wait and see if he changes but i dont want to give him another chance because 4 years was way too long for me to wait. i dont feel anything for him anymore, he is just depressing me.

  14. Hi Misti Alu,

    He is certainly a “CHARACTER” and a force to be reckoned with where his “ANTICS”
    and “DRAMA” is concerned so I see your dilemma. There are Pisces whom enjoy this
    sort of thing but only if they are the ones creating it not being on the receiving end which
    they abhor and avoid at any cost, even if it means distancing and isolating themselves
    in order to escape the emotional upheaval they experience as a result.

    I seriously doubt if he is suicidal and it sounds like one of his many tactics because he
    doesn’t really want to lose you, but he is very immature which could be related to his
    age or his personality.? Remember that you are dealing with two distinctly different
    people depending upon which one he happens to be at the time.???

    Geminis are supposed to be real intellectuals and high achievers but being a college
    dropout perhaps this is something which has escaped him or he may be going through
    a rebellious faze which he will eventually overcome, but you are at a different place
    with your studies where you are pursuing something very important and perhaps he is
    unable to relate to it at this point and feels as though he is unable to measure up.???

    A long distance relationship can be very hard at the best of times let alone if you are
    experiencing dramas and problems which cannot be dealt with when you are there in
    person. It appears that you have reached your “WISE OLD SOUL” virtue which goes
    with being a Pisces at an early age and something which interferes with your being
    compatible where his maturity level is concerned.???

    Like I said four years is a very long time and you have now mentioned that “you do not
    feel anything for him anymore” so what do you think is your next option in dealing with
    this issue.???

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